Melissa Corliss DeLorenzo

Hello, all! I am hoping that the collective here can give me some direction.
I have a 6 year old and twins who are 4 and we are new to unschooling. I
have been trying to absorb as much as possible and read many books
(including Sandra Dodd, John Holt, and many others). I get the idea about
interest-led learning, I get the idea of non-coercion and experiential
learning. I think the disconnect for me is how to facilitate this. I am
probably already doing it without even knowing it (!) but I am a bit
insecure, I suppose. In many places I have seen the idea of making every day
"interesting." That's another concept that seems to be eluding me. What does
that "look" like? I don't want to resort to curriculum, as I really believe
in the concept of unschooling, I am just having difficulty with what MY part
in this is in terms of planning or bringing the right materials and
activities into our lives. What do your days "look" like?

Any thoughts that might help would be MOST appreciated!
Thanks a ton in advance!
Melissa

--
We are broken and cannot be mended until we remember we are unbreakable.
(unknown)


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plaidpanties666

Melissa Corliss DeLorenzo <melissa.delorenzo@...> wrote:
> I get the idea of non-coercion and experiential
> learning. I think the disconnect for me is how to facilitate this. I am
> probably already doing it without even knowing it (!)

Probably. If your kids are playing happily, they're learning. If they're watching or listening to something happily, they're learning. They're learning when they're eating and getting dressed. They're learning when they're arguing and complaining and unhappy, too but since learning is about making connections they'll be making connections to discontent and unhappiness.

>> In many places I have seen the idea of making every day
> "interesting." That's another concept that seems to be eluding me.

It's nowhere near as scary as it sounds. If your kids are interested in their world, that's a good thing. Young kids are most often interested in being home, doing things and exploring things and experimenting at home. Play with them. Have fun with them. That will give you plenty of insight into what their interests are right now. Also, invite them to do things with you - household things or hobby things or things you think they might enjoy. Don't "make" them do things with you, but be open and inviting and help them join in if that's what they want.

>> I am just having difficulty with what MY part
> in this is in terms of planning or bringing the right materials and
> activities into our lives.

Don't think in terms of "right materials" but in terms of "fun stuff". What constitutes "fun stuff" is going to vary from person to person, though, and the interest will vary over time so don't be shy about bringing home things that Might, someday be of interest to someone. Have you read Sandra's "museum house" essay? that's a good example:
http://sandradodd.com/museum

Reading about "strewing" might help, too:
http://sandradodd.com/strewing

Bring home things and start projects that interest you, too, without worrying about whether or not your kids will want to join in. It's nice when they do, but they won't share all your interests. As they get older, you may find its up to you to stretch a little to appreciate Their interests - it's not uncommon for kids to discover things parents never once thought interesting. I think of it as a chance to expand my mind.

All that being said, the idea Is Not to make life a super-busy carnival of fun allllllll the time. Kids need lots and lots of time to "just play" - to do their own thing in their own way, even if it seems very repetitious to parents. Older kids often need time to daydream and take it easy.

I have a 10yo and an almost-18yo (three weeks!) so our lives are very different than when they were the age of yours. Nowadays my teen is often out visiting friends or working or going to events - he's very social and very physical, so he's mostly busy doing things. Home is kind of a touchstone for him, a safe place to come back to and catch his breath before his next series of adventures.

My 10yo is more of a homebody. She's happy to be home most of the time, reading and drawing, building, programming, playing video games and watching movies. Yesterday we went to a museum so today she's having a very low-key recovery sort of day, snuggling with her new stuffed raccoon. On the outside, her life looks much less exciting than Ray's, but she's very happy. She likes to spend hours and hours at a time working on projects and has since she was little, so That's what excitement looks like for her - all the time she wants to do what she wants.

Because Ray's very social, it has been more important to introduce *people* to his life than stuff, per se. Because Mo's less social and more project-oriented it has been more important to keep the house stocked with resources - reference materials as well as supplies.

There are a bunch of "typical days" stories here:
http://sandradodd.com/typical

---Meredith