Thanks for the responses so far!
ncg30
I just want to thank Debra, Nance and Schulyer for your responses - it's easier to respond in one post. I realize some of this is my issue and my own tension in listening to his frustration. I need to find a way to let it go. I know he's at a difficult age at almost 13 and I do want to just be there for him and provide love and support and the things that he needs. But it's just that sometimes the reactions get out of hand. For example, the other night he was playing and my husband asked him if he could pause the game for a minute so that he could record the baseball game which was already on. My son got so bent out of shape and said he needed to finish what he was doing. Well it wound up getting completely out of control between my husband and him where my son was basically having a tantrum and crying and saying we just don't want him to be happy. He even went as far as to day he felt like killing himself - this is what scares me. I don't know exactly why he had such an extreme reaction but him making such a statement really upset me.
As far as his frustration while playing - usually he'll either keep going until he succeeds or he'll stop for a while and go on You Tube to watch the videos about gaming he likes to watch. He doesn't consistently destroy controllers or anything. He did break a pair of his glasses once a while back because he ripped them off his face. I do realize playing games, or any activity, can be frustrating if it's not working for you. I realize too that I need to not let it bother me so much. I guess it's just hard at this point in time to see that letting him continue to play as much as he wants, especially if I decide to do unschooling, that anything is going to change. But I guess it's not something that I will know unless I try it.
Noelle :)
As far as his frustration while playing - usually he'll either keep going until he succeeds or he'll stop for a while and go on You Tube to watch the videos about gaming he likes to watch. He doesn't consistently destroy controllers or anything. He did break a pair of his glasses once a while back because he ripped them off his face. I do realize playing games, or any activity, can be frustrating if it's not working for you. I realize too that I need to not let it bother me so much. I guess it's just hard at this point in time to see that letting him continue to play as much as he wants, especially if I decide to do unschooling, that anything is going to change. But I guess it's not something that I will know unless I try it.
Noelle :)
JJ
"I guess it's just hard at this point in time to see that
letting him continue to play as much as he wants, especially if I decide to do unschooling, that anything is going to change. But I guess it's not something that I will know unless I try it."
This part is not hard! Think about it as a logic syllogism: what you do already know, you don't like and can see is not working. In fact, you can hardly stand how things are, to the point that you're searching to connect with real change you can believe in. So in the choice to "let" your lives continue this way or else change, that's easy, no-brainer! You choose change.
Unschooling is change, believe it! :)
Whole-life unschooling changes just about everything (why do you think it's called radical?)
The hard part is changing yourself, not the object of your desire for change, and learning to believe that THAT is what will change everything else for everyone.
"I realize some of this is my issue and my own tension in listening to his frustration. I need to find a way to let it go. . .
But. . ."
So that's what you need to change first. Thinking "I realize BUT" and then going on and on and on about the child who needs to change and the father-son relationship that need to change, with yourself as a passive listener and bserver (do you notice most of your writing literally casts you as the observer like a narrator or audience member, not as co-star in this real-life family?)
Unschooling is not about learning to let it go. It's about learning how to get up on stage and grab hold! It's like improv theatre, not better tricks to sit still without complaint in the darkened audience while a tedious show you don't much care for, plays out before you.
letting him continue to play as much as he wants, especially if I decide to do unschooling, that anything is going to change. But I guess it's not something that I will know unless I try it."
This part is not hard! Think about it as a logic syllogism: what you do already know, you don't like and can see is not working. In fact, you can hardly stand how things are, to the point that you're searching to connect with real change you can believe in. So in the choice to "let" your lives continue this way or else change, that's easy, no-brainer! You choose change.
Unschooling is change, believe it! :)
Whole-life unschooling changes just about everything (why do you think it's called radical?)
The hard part is changing yourself, not the object of your desire for change, and learning to believe that THAT is what will change everything else for everyone.
"I realize some of this is my issue and my own tension in listening to his frustration. I need to find a way to let it go. . .
But. . ."
So that's what you need to change first. Thinking "I realize BUT" and then going on and on and on about the child who needs to change and the father-son relationship that need to change, with yourself as a passive listener and bserver (do you notice most of your writing literally casts you as the observer like a narrator or audience member, not as co-star in this real-life family?)
Unschooling is not about learning to let it go. It's about learning how to get up on stage and grab hold! It's like improv theatre, not better tricks to sit still without complaint in the darkened audience while a tedious show you don't much care for, plays out before you.
ncg30
Thank you - I realize what you are saying. If things are not working as they are then change is needed. And the hardest part is changing yourself. In so many aspects of life it's much easier for an outsider to see what is happening or what is wrong than you can see yourself. I know because of my own upbringing and life experiences I am stuck in my ways and I definitely want to break free of that. Change is good but can be hard to do too. Of course the rewards will well be worth it. If I can change and change the things that I am doing then that will all trickle down throughout the family.
As far as being an observer I guess I was just explaining what I see is happening in my home from my point of view and looking for some support from others who may have been through a similar experience. I believe by reading the Big Book of Unschooling and coming to this group and moving on the path to unschooling I am playing an active part in the dynamics of my family.
Noelle :)
As far as being an observer I guess I was just explaining what I see is happening in my home from my point of view and looking for some support from others who may have been through a similar experience. I believe by reading the Big Book of Unschooling and coming to this group and moving on the path to unschooling I am playing an active part in the dynamics of my family.
Noelle :)
--- In [email protected], "JJ" <jrossedd@...> wrote:
>
> "I guess it's just hard at this point in time to see that
> letting him continue to play as much as he wants, especially if I decide to do unschooling, that anything is going to change. But I guess it's not something that I will know unless I try it."
>
> This part is not hard! Think about it as a logic syllogism: what you do already know, you don't like and can see is not working. In fact, you can hardly stand how things are, to the point that you're searching to connect with real change you can believe in. So in the choice to "let" your lives continue this way or else change, that's easy, no-brainer! You choose change.
>
> Unschooling is change, believe it! :)
>
> Whole-life unschooling changes just about everything (why do you think it's called radical?)
>
> The hard part is changing yourself, not the object of your desire for change, and learning to believe that THAT is what will change everything else for everyone.
>
> "I realize some of this is my issue and my own tension in listening to his frustration. I need to find a way to let it go. . .
> But. . ."
>
> So that's what you need to change first. Thinking "I realize BUT" and then going on and on and on about the child who needs to change and the father-son relationship that need to change, with yourself as a passive listener and bserver (do you notice most of your writing literally casts you as the observer like a narrator or audience member, not as co-star in this real-life family?)
>
> Unschooling is not about learning to let it go. It's about learning how to get up on stage and grab hold! It's like improv theatre, not better tricks to sit still without complaint in the darkened audience while a tedious show you don't much care for, plays out before you.
>
JJ
Please don't let that be good enough for you, though. I mean this gently but I do mean it: you aren't playing that active part in your family dynamic right now, at least not in what you've described here, and you aren't (yet) playing an active role in changing that dynamic, at least not by reading and asking about it but not getting it yet.
Maybe you're at a similar point with unschooling that your husband is with college: you each want the best for your son and are trying to figure out how to get the rest of the family on board with that plan? Yet for both of you, the real boy in the present moment is living his life day to day in a reality neither of you support or share?
"As far as being an observer I guess I was just explaining what I see is happening in my home from my point of view and looking for some support from others who may have been through a similar experience. I believe by reading the Big Book of Unschooling and coming to this group and moving on the path to unschooling I am playing an active part in the dynamics of my family."
Maybe you're at a similar point with unschooling that your husband is with college: you each want the best for your son and are trying to figure out how to get the rest of the family on board with that plan? Yet for both of you, the real boy in the present moment is living his life day to day in a reality neither of you support or share?
"As far as being an observer I guess I was just explaining what I see is happening in my home from my point of view and looking for some support from others who may have been through a similar experience. I believe by reading the Big Book of Unschooling and coming to this group and moving on the path to unschooling I am playing an active part in the dynamics of my family."
[email protected]
He broke a pair of glasses some time in the past? Well, heck, so has our four-year-old Dear Nephew. Several times. How long should I hold that over his head? Out loud or just in my mind.
Let go. Move on.
And why not get another TV and set up for gaming? Search this list for discussions on how cheaply that can be done. Why have the two men in the house squabbling over stuff?
And, btw, nothing will magically change in any sort of big way. Unschooling is a way of life and no one thing will make all of it click. It takes a long-term commitment to living better.
Every time you run up against a situation that is not going the way you want, Dad and DS fighting over TV time, for instance, don't look for anyone to blame, don't think about whether or not unschooling is "working," think about how you can fix this little problem.
Things like this are not necessarily signs of some deep-rooted problem. They are just today's inconvenience that can be dealt with in a practical, respectful, kind way. Or not.
Nance
Let go. Move on.
And why not get another TV and set up for gaming? Search this list for discussions on how cheaply that can be done. Why have the two men in the house squabbling over stuff?
And, btw, nothing will magically change in any sort of big way. Unschooling is a way of life and no one thing will make all of it click. It takes a long-term commitment to living better.
Every time you run up against a situation that is not going the way you want, Dad and DS fighting over TV time, for instance, don't look for anyone to blame, don't think about whether or not unschooling is "working," think about how you can fix this little problem.
Things like this are not necessarily signs of some deep-rooted problem. They are just today's inconvenience that can be dealt with in a practical, respectful, kind way. Or not.
Nance
--- In [email protected], "ncg30" <ncg30@...> wrote:
>
> I just want to thank Debra, Nance and Schulyer for your responses - it's easier to respond in one post. I realize some of this is my issue and my own tension in listening to his frustration. I need to find a way to let it go. I know he's at a difficult age at almost 13 and I do want to just be there for him and provide love and support and the things that he needs. But it's just that sometimes the reactions get out of hand. For example, the other night he was playing and my husband asked him if he could pause the game for a minute so that he could record the baseball game which was already on. My son got so bent out of shape and said he needed to finish what he was doing. Well it wound up getting completely out of control between my husband and him where my son was basically having a tantrum and crying and saying we just don't want him to be happy. He even went as far as to day he felt like killing himself - this is what scares me. I don't know exactly why he had such an extreme reaction but him making such a statement really upset me.
>
> As far as his frustration while playing - usually he'll either keep going until he succeeds or he'll stop for a while and go on You Tube to watch the videos about gaming he likes to watch. He doesn't consistently destroy controllers or anything. He did break a pair of his glasses once a while back because he ripped them off his face. I do realize playing games, or any activity, can be frustrating if it's not working for you. I realize too that I need to not let it bother me so much. I guess it's just hard at this point in time to see that letting him continue to play as much as he wants, especially if I decide to do unschooling, that anything is going to change. But I guess it's not something that I will know unless I try it.
>
> Noelle :)
>
plaidpanties666
"ncg30" <ncg30@...> wrote:
It can help to replace "video games" with some other kind of activity you would consider valuable and meaningful an re-asess the situation from that perspective. If he had been... writing a magazine article, or deciphering a wiring diagram, learning to play a piece on the cello or writing up a science experiment, would it have been a problem for him to say "I really need to finish what I'm doing"?
If there tend to be tv and video game conflicts, get a tv that's Just for video games. That's an easy fix! But beyond that, take gaming As seriously as something You value.
It can be hard to listen to someone else's frustration, though, for sure. My partner tends to cuss when he's in the midst of creation - the least little error drives him batty and he'll swear and shout as though he'd just cut himself with one of his tools... I've had to learn how to "hear" him without letting my feelings get all stirred up - because really its just part of his process. My daughter will yell at video games and even cry, say she'll never get it and on and on... but then she calms down and gets back into the game. I've learned to make soothing noises but not say too much, as I only add to her frustration. She'll move on when she's ready, and get back in the game, more determined than ever.
And then when random people ask "how will kids Ever learn to do anything Difficult if you don't Make Them?" I think of Morgan yelling at her games and then going back to work, plugging away at something difficult to meet her own, personal goals. She already knows.
---Meredith
>For example, the other night he was playing and my husband asked him if he could pause the game for a minute so that he could record the baseball game which was already on. My son got so bent out of shape and said he needed to finish what he was doing.**************
It can help to replace "video games" with some other kind of activity you would consider valuable and meaningful an re-asess the situation from that perspective. If he had been... writing a magazine article, or deciphering a wiring diagram, learning to play a piece on the cello or writing up a science experiment, would it have been a problem for him to say "I really need to finish what I'm doing"?
If there tend to be tv and video game conflicts, get a tv that's Just for video games. That's an easy fix! But beyond that, take gaming As seriously as something You value.
>> As far as his frustration while playing - usually he'll either keep going until he succeeds...One again, if he were doing something like learning to play an instrument, how you you react to him want soooooo much to get it right? Perseverence is laudable!
It can be hard to listen to someone else's frustration, though, for sure. My partner tends to cuss when he's in the midst of creation - the least little error drives him batty and he'll swear and shout as though he'd just cut himself with one of his tools... I've had to learn how to "hear" him without letting my feelings get all stirred up - because really its just part of his process. My daughter will yell at video games and even cry, say she'll never get it and on and on... but then she calms down and gets back into the game. I've learned to make soothing noises but not say too much, as I only add to her frustration. She'll move on when she's ready, and get back in the game, more determined than ever.
And then when random people ask "how will kids Ever learn to do anything Difficult if you don't Make Them?" I think of Morgan yelling at her games and then going back to work, plugging away at something difficult to meet her own, personal goals. She already knows.
---Meredith
ncg30
To clarify, I am in no way at all holding the fact that he broke his glasses against him. Someone made the comment of how is he handling his frustration, is he breaking things or controllers, and it was just something he did at one point that I happened to mention.
--- In [email protected], "marbleface@..." <marbleface@...> wrote:
>
>
> He broke a pair of glasses some time in the past? Well, heck, so has our four-year-old Dear Nephew. Several times. How long should I hold that over his head? Out loud or just in my mind.
Schuyler
________________________________
"I know he's at a difficult age at almost 13 and I do want to just be there for
him and provide love and support and the things that he needs. "
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This was in a recent post and it stopped me when I read it. It stopped me
because 13 wasn't a difficult age when Simon was 13. He's 14 now and 14 is no
more difficult than any other age he's been.
I am amazed by that. I am amazed by how when I hear someone talking about the
difficult age that there child is approaching or is currently aged that I have
no empathy with that. I haven't experienced either Simon or Linnaea in a
difficult age. They have had hard moments. Sometimes there have been really crap
hours. But a whole year, a whole age has never been something awful.
In a message that came through a moment ago Pam Sorooshian wrote:
"One interesting thing is that the transition from parent of
children/teens to parent of adults has been completely seamless - I
don't think that is generally true outside of unschooling."
The connection that an unschooling parenting is working to have with their
children makes it much less likely that a child will reach an age where they are
rebelling. If a parent is working on being their child's partner, not moulding
their child into something, not making them bend to whatever seems more
important to the parent, but working to meet their needs and their goals, it
will go some way to making all ages as good as they can be and few that get
slated under the category of difficult ages.
Schuyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"I know he's at a difficult age at almost 13 and I do want to just be there for
him and provide love and support and the things that he needs. "
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This was in a recent post and it stopped me when I read it. It stopped me
because 13 wasn't a difficult age when Simon was 13. He's 14 now and 14 is no
more difficult than any other age he's been.
I am amazed by that. I am amazed by how when I hear someone talking about the
difficult age that there child is approaching or is currently aged that I have
no empathy with that. I haven't experienced either Simon or Linnaea in a
difficult age. They have had hard moments. Sometimes there have been really crap
hours. But a whole year, a whole age has never been something awful.
In a message that came through a moment ago Pam Sorooshian wrote:
"One interesting thing is that the transition from parent of
children/teens to parent of adults has been completely seamless - I
don't think that is generally true outside of unschooling."
The connection that an unschooling parenting is working to have with their
children makes it much less likely that a child will reach an age where they are
rebelling. If a parent is working on being their child's partner, not moulding
their child into something, not making them bend to whatever seems more
important to the parent, but working to meet their needs and their goals, it
will go some way to making all ages as good as they can be and few that get
slated under the category of difficult ages.
Schuyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
melissa maranda
Schuyler, LOVE this.
~melissa
________________________________
"I know he's at a difficult age at almost 13 and I do want to just be there for
him and provide love and support and the things that he needs. "
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This was in a recent post and it stopped me when I read it. It stopped me
because 13 wasn't a difficult age when Simon was 13. He's 14 now and 14 is no
more difficult than any other age he's been.
I am amazed by that. I am amazed by how when I hear someone talking about the
difficult age that there child is approaching or is currently aged that I have
no empathy with that. I haven't experienced either Simon or Linnaea in a
difficult age. They have had hard moments. Sometimes there have been really crap
hours. But a whole year, a whole age has never been something awful.
~melissa
________________________________
"I know he's at a difficult age at almost 13 and I do want to just be there for
him and provide love and support and the things that he needs. "
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This was in a recent post and it stopped me when I read it. It stopped me
because 13 wasn't a difficult age when Simon was 13. He's 14 now and 14 is no
more difficult than any other age he's been.
I am amazed by that. I am amazed by how when I hear someone talking about the
difficult age that there child is approaching or is currently aged that I have
no empathy with that. I haven't experienced either Simon or Linnaea in a
difficult age. They have had hard moments. Sometimes there have been really crap
hours. But a whole year, a whole age has never been something awful.
Debra Rossing
> For example, the other night he was playing and my husband asked him if he could pause the game for a minute so that he could record the baseball game which was already on. My son got so bent out of shape and said he needed to finish what he was doing.I agree with your son on this - given a few minutes to get to a save point or the end of the level or wherever a pause would "fit" is the polite way to handle the situation - if the game was already in progress, another 5 or 10 minutes before recording it wouldn't be a big deal. For that matter, why not set up the recording at a convenient time prior to the game starting (both the sporting event and the videogame) given that it's possible to record things DAYS in advance. And, too, it's possible to watch the game real time via streaming video on some websites, even if you've only got the one television in the household. This is a fairly "typical"/common scenario of the adults' needs/wants have priority over the child's needs/wants simply because the adult is an adult.
Deb R
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Debra Rossing
> My daughter will yell at video games and even cry, say she'll never get it and on and on... but then she calms down and gets back into the game. I've learned to make soothing noises but not say too much, as I only add to her frustration. She'll move on when she's ready, and get back in the game, more determined than ever.I listen, I hug, I maybe ask a question (which is where being conversant with the game, characters, etc is important) if that might help him get out the frustration, but mostly I breathe, that's it, I sit there with my heart open to him and just breathe - as someone around here once said, I'm his stable rock when he's frustrated or upset, I'm the stable rock that the waves of his emotion can crash against and I will remain solid so that the turbulence can subside.
Deb R
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intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
www.mastercam.com
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jun 10, 2011, at 8:23 AM, Debra Rossing wrote:
will be much more willing to set aside their needs for another.
One of the problems with conventional parenting is that adults will
encounter what seems to them a grossly selfish reaction by their child
as an example of how selfish their child can be. What they're not
seeing is all the times they trampled over their child's feelings all
the years that led up to this seemingly uncaring reaction.
So what I'm saying is that parents should feel they need always put
their child's needs ahead of their own. But the more the more
respected the *child* feels, the more the child feels their time, and
who they are is respected, the more they'll react reasonably to
reasonable requests!
The problem is that conventional parenting is rife with disrespect for
kids. That disrespect is so common that most parents can't even see
it. A good way of being more aware is to ask yourself if this is how
you'd treat a friend or someone you cared to maintain a good
relationship with.
And the suggestions to think ahead and plan for ways to not
inconvenience other people in the family are good. The fewer times
we're inconveniencing others for something we want, the more willing
they are to say "Sure! No problem!" when we do have to inconvenience
them.
It *would* be reasonable if my husband asked me to pause what I was
doing for him to turn on the recorder. He has in fact. But I he is
considerate of my time. I know he's not seeing me as something in his
life that makes his life more difficult. I know he's aware that he's
asking me to interrupt what I'm doing to help him.
If he treated me like most parents treat kids, though, it's far less
likely he'd get a "No problem!" response from me.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> agree with your son on this - given a few minutes to get to a saveIf a child's been treated with what the child feels is respect, they
> point or the end of the level or wherever a pause would "fit" is the
> polite way to handle the situation
will be much more willing to set aside their needs for another.
One of the problems with conventional parenting is that adults will
encounter what seems to them a grossly selfish reaction by their child
as an example of how selfish their child can be. What they're not
seeing is all the times they trampled over their child's feelings all
the years that led up to this seemingly uncaring reaction.
So what I'm saying is that parents should feel they need always put
their child's needs ahead of their own. But the more the more
respected the *child* feels, the more the child feels their time, and
who they are is respected, the more they'll react reasonably to
reasonable requests!
The problem is that conventional parenting is rife with disrespect for
kids. That disrespect is so common that most parents can't even see
it. A good way of being more aware is to ask yourself if this is how
you'd treat a friend or someone you cared to maintain a good
relationship with.
And the suggestions to think ahead and plan for ways to not
inconvenience other people in the family are good. The fewer times
we're inconveniencing others for something we want, the more willing
they are to say "Sure! No problem!" when we do have to inconvenience
them.
It *would* be reasonable if my husband asked me to pause what I was
doing for him to turn on the recorder. He has in fact. But I he is
considerate of my time. I know he's not seeing me as something in his
life that makes his life more difficult. I know he's aware that he's
asking me to interrupt what I'm doing to help him.
If he treated me like most parents treat kids, though, it's far less
likely he'd get a "No problem!" response from me.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jun 10, 2011, at 11:41 AM, Joyce Fetteroll wrote:
Hopefully people guessed that's what I meant!
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> So what I'm saying is that parents should feel they need always putAck! Sorry! *Shouldn't* feel they need ...
> their child's needs ahead of their own.
Hopefully people guessed that's what I meant!
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sacha Davis
Thank you!
I really appreciate this on so many levels. My son certainly causes diffilcuties
for me sometimes, but is he being difficult? No, he's being four, and he's a really
fantastic four year old. I am difficult because I can be inflexible or invested in
my own version of a good outcome for him.
I do think that different ages have their difficulties My boy is stuck between
babyhood and kid-hood. It can be really hard for him to exist in that world. He
wants to be taken care of, he wants to be independent, he has big kid feelings but
still is emotionally a baby in so many ways. Some days are really hard and some
days are pure joy. I agree that there is no one definition for this age, or year.
I can be difficult as well. Is this much different? I can be snappy, tired, hard
to deal with, entrenched, stubborn, tunnel-visioned. Downright no fun to be around.
Should I be labeled as being a difficult age? If not, why should my children be labeled by me?
S.
__________________________________
Sacha (40), mommy to Finn (4) & Zivia (0) and wife to Megan (38)
Livin' la vida loca in Georgetown, Seattle
I really appreciate this on so many levels. My son certainly causes diffilcuties
for me sometimes, but is he being difficult? No, he's being four, and he's a really
fantastic four year old. I am difficult because I can be inflexible or invested in
my own version of a good outcome for him.
I do think that different ages have their difficulties My boy is stuck between
babyhood and kid-hood. It can be really hard for him to exist in that world. He
wants to be taken care of, he wants to be independent, he has big kid feelings but
still is emotionally a baby in so many ways. Some days are really hard and some
days are pure joy. I agree that there is no one definition for this age, or year.
I can be difficult as well. Is this much different? I can be snappy, tired, hard
to deal with, entrenched, stubborn, tunnel-visioned. Downright no fun to be around.
Should I be labeled as being a difficult age? If not, why should my children be labeled by me?
S.
__________________________________
Sacha (40), mommy to Finn (4) & Zivia (0) and wife to Megan (38)
Livin' la vida loca in Georgetown, Seattle
On Jun 9, 2011, at 9:36 PM, melissa maranda wrote:
> Schuyler, LOVE this.
> ~melissa
>
> ________________________________
> "I know he's at a difficult age at almost 13 and I do want to just be there for
> him and provide love and support and the things that he needs. "
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> This was in a recent post and it stopped me when I read it. It stopped me
> because 13 wasn't a difficult age when Simon was 13. He's 14 now and 14 is no
> more difficult than any other age he's been.
>
> I am amazed by that. I am amazed by how when I hear someone talking about the
> difficult age that there child is approaching or is currently aged that I have
> no empathy with that. I haven't experienced either Simon or Linnaea in a
> difficult age. They have had hard moments. Sometimes there have been really crap
> hours. But a whole year, a whole age has never been something awful.
>
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