I am so excited !
kgust0131
My son is 8 years old and has Autism Spectrum Disorder. I won't bore anyone with the details of what life has been like the last 5 months when Matthew decided school was not going to work for him anymore - he checked out - decided not going - high anxiety- took us 3 months to get him diagnosis at Dartmouth Medical Center in Hanover NH.
I have always been able to be home with my beautiful son. He has been the source of my pure enjoyment and amazement since the day he was born. I always let him be who he was - and always had the extreme fortune of being able to have Matthew alone with me as an only child and also alone because his father walked out the door when he was 4 years old. That sounds bad, a cliche that he upped and left - but it's a true blessing for me and my son. It gives me the opportunity to let him be exactly who he is - I mean I tried the traditional approach to parenting and schooling - Matthew did ok for the first year and a half or until 2nd grade mid way through.....and he decided it did not work for him.
We moved school districts - the first one was just so mean to my little boy - oh that story gets my blood pressure up and I can't discuss it - water under the bridge - so we moved to new district - which seems better but he has a tutor and he won't perform. But he does amazing lego bases from star wars and science projects with volcanos - totally a visual hands on learner - totally a math whiz - he tested very well - and we see results for his IEP May 19....but the tutor left today and Matthew as in tears. This comes after 4 months of stress and school system and we had a month reprieve and something wonderful happened. I quit my little nanny job and part time waitress gig only on weekends he was at his dads did I work -and I sold my huge house so I could stay home with him and I cleared the slate - completely - and matthew blossomed . I ride bikes with him and we go to the ocean and we sleep til we get up and go to bed at ten - no pressure all just educating in daily living . It was a few weeks ago I said man how come these lego bases that Stephen Speilberg would hire Matthew for - how come these don't count - how come him building the death star from lego star wars for age 14 and he built in 4 days day in and day out all alone doesnt count. How come I feel like he is learning just fine and everyone agrees hes smart and how come I have to force him to learn the way the system wants ?
It was very hard for me - I was thinking of this alternative schooling where matthew could just learn with me and he could understand by just life experiences. And after the tutor left I googled high functioning Autism and education - this was after a week ago I googled how they educated children in the early days like 1700 and 1800.....was it ok to have a tutor for Matthew or decide that standard teaching would not work for him?
So I came across Ann Ohmans 8 page article about unschooling and I was floored ! I did not know others felt like I did ! That the pressure I was feeling was making my son do something he would never want to do! I fb it to all my friends and my sons father begging for them to read it - it was me talking and the child was Matthew. And here I am on this new quest for education for my son - who already is way ahead - I read to him when he was little for years and still do - he has been everywhere and it's him and me and we go for rides and I teach him on our journey - it's him me and his snake who he loves - we take rides on back roads and talk - about the way life was .... I always knew it was magical and special - I remember meeting my new doctor - a pediatrician recommended to me by a friend - one who works with those on the spectrum - and at that appointment I was frantic - I had a stressed child and did not know what was wrong - I felt guilt and fear and I was terrified for my child. This doctor said to me Kathleen don't listen to anyone - follow your instincts - you know what matthew needs - here are some books to read - if you had to live on a deserted island you would know what matt needed -go home and let him be himself - don't let him get too wrapped into his own world - keep him somewhat social - but follow that - I said how do I keep everyone off my back the school the coaparent and everyone ?
He was telling me that day what needed to be done. That I needed to figure out a new plan. He gave me confidence in myself as a mother ......he did not blame me for matthew - that gave me hope.
Then I found the article and I said that 's it I am doing the alternative approach - I am unschooling my son - I am not forcing it anymore - it's going to be fine - and as i watched my son make an amazing lego model and show me all the features and benefits I said yes - there are a few things I invest in - matthews legos and dinners out with him - it's our time- it's our word and noone understands it and you know what - I don't care anymore because I know what he needs .
Mathew had to write a self statement about himself when he began 2nd grade and it's a mozaic elephant and it says I am special because I am handsome - yup thats my matthew - he is special because he has always been amazing and different - We have lost many friends - everyone wants him to be in a box ....but I always protect him always have and always will......
A friend of mine recently asked how it was going - I said it was fine - we have moments and this was a friend who witnessed matthew in a true autistic - whoops i don't have a filter moment and he had come to help set up Matthews bunkbed and Matthew told him to leave and he did - but Matthew was much more intense than that and I was horrified but I was defeated and he texted and said so can I come and do it Saturday ! I was shocked - most people flee the scene and don't come back lol
And he said to me one night you know Kathy you told me what was happening and I thought I understood - in fact I really thought I knew what was happening but until I saw it first hand that night did I really get it - and I said and most people leave and don't return and he said I understand why they do - and he said but it takes a village ......
So unschooling in my new journey - I have not felt this good in many years - my son can blossom now! OMG this is wonderful!
I have always been able to be home with my beautiful son. He has been the source of my pure enjoyment and amazement since the day he was born. I always let him be who he was - and always had the extreme fortune of being able to have Matthew alone with me as an only child and also alone because his father walked out the door when he was 4 years old. That sounds bad, a cliche that he upped and left - but it's a true blessing for me and my son. It gives me the opportunity to let him be exactly who he is - I mean I tried the traditional approach to parenting and schooling - Matthew did ok for the first year and a half or until 2nd grade mid way through.....and he decided it did not work for him.
We moved school districts - the first one was just so mean to my little boy - oh that story gets my blood pressure up and I can't discuss it - water under the bridge - so we moved to new district - which seems better but he has a tutor and he won't perform. But he does amazing lego bases from star wars and science projects with volcanos - totally a visual hands on learner - totally a math whiz - he tested very well - and we see results for his IEP May 19....but the tutor left today and Matthew as in tears. This comes after 4 months of stress and school system and we had a month reprieve and something wonderful happened. I quit my little nanny job and part time waitress gig only on weekends he was at his dads did I work -and I sold my huge house so I could stay home with him and I cleared the slate - completely - and matthew blossomed . I ride bikes with him and we go to the ocean and we sleep til we get up and go to bed at ten - no pressure all just educating in daily living . It was a few weeks ago I said man how come these lego bases that Stephen Speilberg would hire Matthew for - how come these don't count - how come him building the death star from lego star wars for age 14 and he built in 4 days day in and day out all alone doesnt count. How come I feel like he is learning just fine and everyone agrees hes smart and how come I have to force him to learn the way the system wants ?
It was very hard for me - I was thinking of this alternative schooling where matthew could just learn with me and he could understand by just life experiences. And after the tutor left I googled high functioning Autism and education - this was after a week ago I googled how they educated children in the early days like 1700 and 1800.....was it ok to have a tutor for Matthew or decide that standard teaching would not work for him?
So I came across Ann Ohmans 8 page article about unschooling and I was floored ! I did not know others felt like I did ! That the pressure I was feeling was making my son do something he would never want to do! I fb it to all my friends and my sons father begging for them to read it - it was me talking and the child was Matthew. And here I am on this new quest for education for my son - who already is way ahead - I read to him when he was little for years and still do - he has been everywhere and it's him and me and we go for rides and I teach him on our journey - it's him me and his snake who he loves - we take rides on back roads and talk - about the way life was .... I always knew it was magical and special - I remember meeting my new doctor - a pediatrician recommended to me by a friend - one who works with those on the spectrum - and at that appointment I was frantic - I had a stressed child and did not know what was wrong - I felt guilt and fear and I was terrified for my child. This doctor said to me Kathleen don't listen to anyone - follow your instincts - you know what matthew needs - here are some books to read - if you had to live on a deserted island you would know what matt needed -go home and let him be himself - don't let him get too wrapped into his own world - keep him somewhat social - but follow that - I said how do I keep everyone off my back the school the coaparent and everyone ?
He was telling me that day what needed to be done. That I needed to figure out a new plan. He gave me confidence in myself as a mother ......he did not blame me for matthew - that gave me hope.
Then I found the article and I said that 's it I am doing the alternative approach - I am unschooling my son - I am not forcing it anymore - it's going to be fine - and as i watched my son make an amazing lego model and show me all the features and benefits I said yes - there are a few things I invest in - matthews legos and dinners out with him - it's our time- it's our word and noone understands it and you know what - I don't care anymore because I know what he needs .
Mathew had to write a self statement about himself when he began 2nd grade and it's a mozaic elephant and it says I am special because I am handsome - yup thats my matthew - he is special because he has always been amazing and different - We have lost many friends - everyone wants him to be in a box ....but I always protect him always have and always will......
A friend of mine recently asked how it was going - I said it was fine - we have moments and this was a friend who witnessed matthew in a true autistic - whoops i don't have a filter moment and he had come to help set up Matthews bunkbed and Matthew told him to leave and he did - but Matthew was much more intense than that and I was horrified but I was defeated and he texted and said so can I come and do it Saturday ! I was shocked - most people flee the scene and don't come back lol
And he said to me one night you know Kathy you told me what was happening and I thought I understood - in fact I really thought I knew what was happening but until I saw it first hand that night did I really get it - and I said and most people leave and don't return and he said I understand why they do - and he said but it takes a village ......
So unschooling in my new journey - I have not felt this good in many years - my son can blossom now! OMG this is wonderful!
strawlis
Congratulation for choosing to be your child's advocate! Ann has a yahoo group "Shining with Unschooling" [email protected] radical unschooling is non negotiable (a given)on her group. Your son sounds amazing! Hopefully your journey into unschooling and respectful parenting will help you describe him with out a label/diagnosis.
Elisabeth mama to Liv(12) and Lex(10)
Elisabeth mama to Liv(12) and Lex(10)
--- In [email protected], "kgust0131" <kgust0131@...> wrote:
>
> My son is 8 years old and has Autism Spectrum Disorder. I won't bore anyone with the details of what life has been like the last 5 months when Matthew decided school was not going to work for him anymore - he checked out - decided not going - high anxiety- took us 3 months to get him diagnosis at Dartmouth Medical Center in Hanover NH.
>
plaidpanties666
"strawlis" <lisberning@...> wrote:
I want to restate that last - the Shine list is not a list for "unschooling with special needs". Like any other radical unschooling list, the Shine list assumes the same principles of unschooling can be applied to all children. That being said, if you love Anne O's "voice", that's a great place to "hear" a whole lot of it!
---Meredith
>*************
> Ann has a yahoo group "Shining with Unschooling" [email protected] radical unschooling is non negotiable (a given)on her group.
I want to restate that last - the Shine list is not a list for "unschooling with special needs". Like any other radical unschooling list, the Shine list assumes the same principles of unschooling can be applied to all children. That being said, if you love Anne O's "voice", that's a great place to "hear" a whole lot of it!
---Meredith