She doesn't know what to do with herself
odiniella
And I'm not sure how to help.
My dd (13) wakes up every day and asks if we can go somewhere. She
can't find something she's interested in, however. Doesn't want to go
to the zoo. Art museum isn't what she's in the mood for. Doesn't want
to go to a book store. I'm thinking she just doesn't know what to do
with herself. Unlimited tv has lost its appeal. She doesn't have
friends in town (most homeschoolers end up going through the public
school after elementary school). She's lost touch with her school
friends (who don't have time to hang out anyway). Yesterday she bought
herself a mandolin but was surprised at how difficult it is to play. I
offered to get her lessons so we're waiting to hear from the instructor.
In the mean time, she's just not sure what to do with her days and I'm
afraid I don't really know how to help. She's not interested in doing
what I'm doing or even hanging out with me while I do it. What can I do
to help her?
btw, we're still just deschooling as I've only recently stopped
requiring curriculum work
Helen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My dd (13) wakes up every day and asks if we can go somewhere. She
can't find something she's interested in, however. Doesn't want to go
to the zoo. Art museum isn't what she's in the mood for. Doesn't want
to go to a book store. I'm thinking she just doesn't know what to do
with herself. Unlimited tv has lost its appeal. She doesn't have
friends in town (most homeschoolers end up going through the public
school after elementary school). She's lost touch with her school
friends (who don't have time to hang out anyway). Yesterday she bought
herself a mandolin but was surprised at how difficult it is to play. I
offered to get her lessons so we're waiting to hear from the instructor.
In the mean time, she's just not sure what to do with her days and I'm
afraid I don't really know how to help. She's not interested in doing
what I'm doing or even hanging out with me while I do it. What can I do
to help her?
btw, we're still just deschooling as I've only recently stopped
requiring curriculum work
Helen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tina Tarbutton
Some ideas.
Drive around with no destination in mind, stopping at any place that catches
your eye.
Buy lots of arts and crafts stuff and just keep it around, play with it
yourself and invite her to join. Some things I've enjoyed recently are big
blocks of white Sculptey clay that I can mold and then paint after
baking, Chinese take out boxes (meant for gift wrapping) which I've painted
in contrasting colors and put interesting Chinese symbols on them. Another
big hit is various sized and shaped boxes from Michaels which we've painted
with different designs.
We also picked up some various wooden 3-D puzzles. Draven (my 11 y/o) said
he'd like me to paint them, but he wants to put them together, so that'll be
a joint project.
I've made it a point to display all of Draven's 2-D artwork in frames, it
makes him feel better about the art (because it's more than just fridge art)
and makes wonderful decorations for the house.
Hope that helps.
Tina
Drive around with no destination in mind, stopping at any place that catches
your eye.
Buy lots of arts and crafts stuff and just keep it around, play with it
yourself and invite her to join. Some things I've enjoyed recently are big
blocks of white Sculptey clay that I can mold and then paint after
baking, Chinese take out boxes (meant for gift wrapping) which I've painted
in contrasting colors and put interesting Chinese symbols on them. Another
big hit is various sized and shaped boxes from Michaels which we've painted
with different designs.
We also picked up some various wooden 3-D puzzles. Draven (my 11 y/o) said
he'd like me to paint them, but he wants to put them together, so that'll be
a joint project.
I've made it a point to display all of Draven's 2-D artwork in frames, it
makes him feel better about the art (because it's more than just fridge art)
and makes wonderful decorations for the house.
Hope that helps.
Tina
On Wed, Apr 13, 2011 at 2:06 PM, odiniella <hgaimari@...> wrote:
>
>
> And I'm not sure how to help.
> My dd (13) wakes up every day and asks if we can go somewhere. She
> can't find something she's interested in, however. Doesn't want to go
> to the zoo. Art museum isn't what she's in the mood for. Doesn't want
> to go to a book store. I'm thinking she just doesn't know what to do
> with herself. Unlimited tv has lost its appeal. She doesn't have
> friends in town (most homeschoolers end up going through the public
> school after elementary school). She's lost touch with her school
> friends (who don't have time to hang out anyway). Yesterday she bought
> herself a mandolin but was surprised at how difficult it is to play. I
> offered to get her lessons so we're waiting to hear from the instructor.
> In the mean time, she's just not sure what to do with her days and I'm
> afraid I don't really know how to help. She's not interested in doing
> what I'm doing or even hanging out with me while I do it. What can I do
> to help her?
> btw, we're still just deschooling as I've only recently stopped
> requiring curriculum work
> Helen
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
--
Unschooling Untitled <http://www.unschoolinguntitled.com> (
http://www.unschoolinguntitled.com )
Living an unschooled lifestyle, one experience at a time!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
For mandolin try youtube rather than seeking out an instructor from the off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gCdHyG3rFM is just one.
http://www.banjolin.co.uk/tunes/tunelist.htm is a list of songs done in
tablature, or here http://www.mandolincafe.com/tabarc.html. I've managed to get
a huge amount of information on how to play the ukulele just by exploring the
internet. It won't help with deschooling for you to be looking for classes for
any interest your daughter may have.
Your lists of entertainments seem geared toward more traditional education
approaches. What about going to a movie or the mall or checking out thrift
stores or renting movies that have a theme, Johnny Depp movies or movies about
mermaids or studio Ghibli films or whatever seems to be something that would
interest your daughter and pop some popcorn and makes some fruit kebabs and sit
around and watch them together and laugh. Go to a grocery store and find the
weird foods, the foods you've never tried before and bring them home and see
what different things taste like. Buy all the kinds of gum you can find and have
taste tests. Build a fire in the backyard and roast marshmallows and make
s'mores. Build a fire in the backyard and sit around at night and tell ghost
stories. Buy a newspaper and find a stream and build paper boats. Find rubber
bands and some tin cans and go outside and see who can knock down the most with
the fewest rubber bands. Play hide and seek. Don't press her to be interesting,
find interesting things to offer to share. Seek out moments of joy and pleasure
instead of hoping that this day your daughter will be willing to embrace going
to an art museum.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: odiniella <hgaimari@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, 13 April, 2011 19:06:29
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] She doesn't know what to do with herself
And I'm not sure how to help.
My dd (13) wakes up every day and asks if we can go somewhere. She
can't find something she's interested in, however. Doesn't want to go
to the zoo. Art museum isn't what she's in the mood for. Doesn't want
to go to a book store. I'm thinking she just doesn't know what to do
with herself. Unlimited tv has lost its appeal. She doesn't have
friends in town (most homeschoolers end up going through the public
school after elementary school). She's lost touch with her school
friends (who don't have time to hang out anyway). Yesterday she bought
herself a mandolin but was surprised at how difficult it is to play. I
offered to get her lessons so we're waiting to hear from the instructor.
In the mean time, she's just not sure what to do with her days and I'm
afraid I don't really know how to help. She's not interested in doing
what I'm doing or even hanging out with me while I do it. What can I do
to help her?
btw, we're still just deschooling as I've only recently stopped
requiring curriculum work
Helen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gCdHyG3rFM is just one.
http://www.banjolin.co.uk/tunes/tunelist.htm is a list of songs done in
tablature, or here http://www.mandolincafe.com/tabarc.html. I've managed to get
a huge amount of information on how to play the ukulele just by exploring the
internet. It won't help with deschooling for you to be looking for classes for
any interest your daughter may have.
Your lists of entertainments seem geared toward more traditional education
approaches. What about going to a movie or the mall or checking out thrift
stores or renting movies that have a theme, Johnny Depp movies or movies about
mermaids or studio Ghibli films or whatever seems to be something that would
interest your daughter and pop some popcorn and makes some fruit kebabs and sit
around and watch them together and laugh. Go to a grocery store and find the
weird foods, the foods you've never tried before and bring them home and see
what different things taste like. Buy all the kinds of gum you can find and have
taste tests. Build a fire in the backyard and roast marshmallows and make
s'mores. Build a fire in the backyard and sit around at night and tell ghost
stories. Buy a newspaper and find a stream and build paper boats. Find rubber
bands and some tin cans and go outside and see who can knock down the most with
the fewest rubber bands. Play hide and seek. Don't press her to be interesting,
find interesting things to offer to share. Seek out moments of joy and pleasure
instead of hoping that this day your daughter will be willing to embrace going
to an art museum.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: odiniella <hgaimari@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, 13 April, 2011 19:06:29
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] She doesn't know what to do with herself
And I'm not sure how to help.
My dd (13) wakes up every day and asks if we can go somewhere. She
can't find something she's interested in, however. Doesn't want to go
to the zoo. Art museum isn't what she's in the mood for. Doesn't want
to go to a book store. I'm thinking she just doesn't know what to do
with herself. Unlimited tv has lost its appeal. She doesn't have
friends in town (most homeschoolers end up going through the public
school after elementary school). She's lost touch with her school
friends (who don't have time to hang out anyway). Yesterday she bought
herself a mandolin but was surprised at how difficult it is to play. I
offered to get her lessons so we're waiting to hear from the instructor.
In the mean time, she's just not sure what to do with her days and I'm
afraid I don't really know how to help. She's not interested in doing
what I'm doing or even hanging out with me while I do it. What can I do
to help her?
btw, we're still just deschooling as I've only recently stopped
requiring curriculum work
Helen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Does she want to go window shopping at the mall, thrift stores, try new make up
at the mall, go to the movies,
go have lunch somewhere different???
Don;t only think in terms of museums, books, etc.
Maybe do not ask but plan a girls day out. Go window shopping, then grab lunch
and a movie just for you two.
Maybe go get ice cream ???
Maybe go look at houses in a fancy neighborhood??
Try a pedicure, a massage, a new hair-doo???
Go try a zumba o Taekwon Do class?
Go ice-skating?
Teen girls can be a fun partner!!!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
at the mall, go to the movies,
go have lunch somewhere different???
Don;t only think in terms of museums, books, etc.
Maybe do not ask but plan a girls day out. Go window shopping, then grab lunch
and a movie just for you two.
Maybe go get ice cream ???
Maybe go look at houses in a fancy neighborhood??
Try a pedicure, a massage, a new hair-doo???
Go try a zumba o Taekwon Do class?
Go ice-skating?
Teen girls can be a fun partner!!!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Paint pottery or make pttery, get some suppies for scrappbooking or just shop at
a craft store,
Get a camera and go take pictures,
maybe make movies and upload on youtube-or not,
try make up on,
get supplies and bring home to do a mini-spa at home,
Go get some flowers and plant a flower or/and vegetable garden,
Get flower and make arrengements at home,
What does she like?
Do stuff with her as you were her teen friend!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
a craft store,
Get a camera and go take pictures,
maybe make movies and upload on youtube-or not,
try make up on,
get supplies and bring home to do a mini-spa at home,
Go get some flowers and plant a flower or/and vegetable garden,
Get flower and make arrengements at home,
What does she like?
Do stuff with her as you were her teen friend!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
In addition to all the ideas: lots of sympathy and a willing ear. The
transition between kid interests and teen interests can be frustrating
for kids. Don't feel like it's your job to fix it so much as keep
things swirling through her life for her to dabble with.
Joyce
transition between kid interests and teen interests can be frustrating
for kids. Don't feel like it's your job to fix it so much as keep
things swirling through her life for her to dabble with.
Joyce
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
What Schuyler said!
Alex Polikowsky
For mandolin try youtube rather than seeking out an instructor from the off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gCdHyG3rFM is just one.
http://www.banjolin.co.uk/tunes/tunelist.htm is a list of songs done in
tablature, or here http://www.mandolincafe.com/tabarc.html. I've managed to get
a huge amount of information on how to play the ukulele just by exploring the
internet. It won't help with deschooling for you to be looking for classes for
any interest your daughter may have.
Your lists of entertainments seem geared toward more traditional education
approaches. What about going to a movie or the mall or checking out thrift
stores or renting movies that have a theme, Johnny Depp movies or movies about
mermaids or studio Ghibli films or whatever seems to be something that would
interest your daughter and pop some popcorn and makes some fruit kebabs and sit
around and watch them together and laugh. Go to a grocery store and find the
weird foods, the foods you've never tried before and bring them home and see
what different things taste like. Buy all the kinds of gum you can find and have
taste tests. Build a fire in the backyard and roast marshmallows and make
s'mores. Build a fire in the backyard and sit around at night and tell ghost
stories. Buy a newspaper and find a stream and build paper boats. Find rubber
bands and some tin cans and go outside and see who can knock down the most with
the fewest rubber bands. Play hide and seek. Don't press her to be interesting,
find interesting things to offer to share. Seek out moments of joy and pleasure
instead of hoping that this day your daughter will be willing to embrace going
to an art museum.
Schuyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Alex Polikowsky
For mandolin try youtube rather than seeking out an instructor from the off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gCdHyG3rFM is just one.
http://www.banjolin.co.uk/tunes/tunelist.htm is a list of songs done in
tablature, or here http://www.mandolincafe.com/tabarc.html. I've managed to get
a huge amount of information on how to play the ukulele just by exploring the
internet. It won't help with deschooling for you to be looking for classes for
any interest your daughter may have.
Your lists of entertainments seem geared toward more traditional education
approaches. What about going to a movie or the mall or checking out thrift
stores or renting movies that have a theme, Johnny Depp movies or movies about
mermaids or studio Ghibli films or whatever seems to be something that would
interest your daughter and pop some popcorn and makes some fruit kebabs and sit
around and watch them together and laugh. Go to a grocery store and find the
weird foods, the foods you've never tried before and bring them home and see
what different things taste like. Buy all the kinds of gum you can find and have
taste tests. Build a fire in the backyard and roast marshmallows and make
s'mores. Build a fire in the backyard and sit around at night and tell ghost
stories. Buy a newspaper and find a stream and build paper boats. Find rubber
bands and some tin cans and go outside and see who can knock down the most with
the fewest rubber bands. Play hide and seek. Don't press her to be interesting,
find interesting things to offer to share. Seek out moments of joy and pleasure
instead of hoping that this day your daughter will be willing to embrace going
to an art museum.
Schuyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
odiniella
I love the ideas (and mandolin links). I can see the importance of
deschooling *for me* and that's something that has caught me by
surprise. Not so much because I find myself thinking academics (the art
museum was an interest last month but apparently has lost its appeal),
but because I realize that for the last couple years, my interests have
revolved around things that allowed me to take a break from my kids.
These were 'escapes" for me and so by nature, do not really lend
themselves to socializing. There's no reason to continue that, however,
and I really don't feel any desire to take a break from my kids now,
even though I'm finding myself doing more with and for them than before.
All these ideas sound so natural and yet I'm finding myself trying to
come up with ideas rather than exploring what's around me as well.
Btw, we took a bike ride downtown and stopped and poked around a thrift
store. That was fun. Later dd went to a birthday party at a roller
rink and met a new friend. She's feeling less isolated now so that's a
nice treat for her.
So thank you all! I appreciate the ideas (and sympathy).
Helen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
deschooling *for me* and that's something that has caught me by
surprise. Not so much because I find myself thinking academics (the art
museum was an interest last month but apparently has lost its appeal),
but because I realize that for the last couple years, my interests have
revolved around things that allowed me to take a break from my kids.
These were 'escapes" for me and so by nature, do not really lend
themselves to socializing. There's no reason to continue that, however,
and I really don't feel any desire to take a break from my kids now,
even though I'm finding myself doing more with and for them than before.
All these ideas sound so natural and yet I'm finding myself trying to
come up with ideas rather than exploring what's around me as well.
Btw, we took a bike ride downtown and stopped and poked around a thrift
store. That was fun. Later dd went to a birthday party at a roller
rink and met a new friend. She's feeling less isolated now so that's a
nice treat for her.
So thank you all! I appreciate the ideas (and sympathy).
Helen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]