Stifling His Intellect
foursquareschoolhouse
This morning my six-year-old son and I were discussing the American Revolution & the Civil War--he's watching America: The Story of Us (a second time).
He suggested the invention of an "automatic bayonet" to replace the standard ol' bayonet. Immediately I began to explain what "automatic" means in regard to weaponry--and that a bayonet cannot really be made "automatic," nor would there be any point in making it so NOW.
About ten minutes into the "argument" I stopped. I felt like I was simply fighting with him and quite frankly, does it matter that he know an automatic bayonet is unnecessary in 2011?
What are your thoughts on this one--am I wrong to let him believe a bayonet could/should be made into some type of automatic weapon or should I just let his six-year-old mind mull it over?
In other words, "pick my battles." No pun intended.
He suggested the invention of an "automatic bayonet" to replace the standard ol' bayonet. Immediately I began to explain what "automatic" means in regard to weaponry--and that a bayonet cannot really be made "automatic," nor would there be any point in making it so NOW.
About ten minutes into the "argument" I stopped. I felt like I was simply fighting with him and quite frankly, does it matter that he know an automatic bayonet is unnecessary in 2011?
What are your thoughts on this one--am I wrong to let him believe a bayonet could/should be made into some type of automatic weapon or should I just let his six-year-old mind mull it over?
In other words, "pick my battles." No pun intended.
Tina Tarbutton
With 11 y/o Draven, who is completely into weapons and war, I try not to
negate his ideas to often. If he says something that I know is incorrect
(some fact based thing, not an idea he has) we'll talk about good and bad
sources for information and try to find him more correct information. With
his ideas I ask lots of questions which shows that I'm interested, and also
helps him think through his idea more. I don't try to get him to realize
his idea won't work, I honestly try to find out more. Sometimes he realizes
it wouldn't work, or that there's something better already, sometimes he
surprises me with how well thought out his idea is.
Questions like
What would it look like?
How would it work?
Where could they use it?
What materials should it be made out of?
Could it be produced in a factory or would it have to be hand made?
Who would it help?
The questions I ask depend on his mood at the time, and sometimes his answer
is "I'm not sure" and he moves on, other times we'll spend days touching on
the subject of his idea.
Tina
negate his ideas to often. If he says something that I know is incorrect
(some fact based thing, not an idea he has) we'll talk about good and bad
sources for information and try to find him more correct information. With
his ideas I ask lots of questions which shows that I'm interested, and also
helps him think through his idea more. I don't try to get him to realize
his idea won't work, I honestly try to find out more. Sometimes he realizes
it wouldn't work, or that there's something better already, sometimes he
surprises me with how well thought out his idea is.
Questions like
What would it look like?
How would it work?
Where could they use it?
What materials should it be made out of?
Could it be produced in a factory or would it have to be hand made?
Who would it help?
The questions I ask depend on his mood at the time, and sometimes his answer
is "I'm not sure" and he moves on, other times we'll spend days touching on
the subject of his idea.
Tina
Joyce Fetteroll
On Mar 28, 2011, at 9:15 AM, foursquareschoolhouse wrote:
No one needed an iPad but fortunately Steve Jobs wasn't argued out of
it ;-)
The greatest ideas will come from the freedom to play with ideas and
see where they take someone than from being told by someone older and
"wiser" how the world is.
Instead of an arguement, say "Cool! Tell me about it." :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> am I wrong to let him believe a bayonet could/should be made intoI think a better subject line might be "Stifling his creativity."
> some type of automatic weapon or should I just let his six-year-old
> mind mull it over?
No one needed an iPad but fortunately Steve Jobs wasn't argued out of
it ;-)
The greatest ideas will come from the freedom to play with ideas and
see where they take someone than from being told by someone older and
"wiser" how the world is.
Instead of an arguement, say "Cool! Tell me about it." :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stacy Rasmussen
When I was little I had a HUGE arguement with my grandma. I was about 7 or so.
We debated whether quarter after 2 was 15 minutes or 25 minutes. As an adult,
out of the blue, I looked back and felt bad for thinking I was smarter than she.
I am sure that homeschooling has many more of those instances. Kids think they
are smarter than their parents. I am sure it is a healthy developmental stage.
So, I would try to explain things to him, but the stuff that doesn't matter he
will figure out as he gets older and self correct. Also, homeschooling your
child has power struggles that children in public school may not have, at least
not as often. I have found that the battles I have fought with my kids were
resolved after I let go of the need to be right, and allowed other people (even
strangers) provide the information that they rebutted from me. Being a HS mom
has struggles and if you do not choose your battles wisely you can get very
stressed out. The best thing about homeschooling is when tensions are higher
like that you are able to take a break and go do something fun for a while
: )
We debated whether quarter after 2 was 15 minutes or 25 minutes. As an adult,
out of the blue, I looked back and felt bad for thinking I was smarter than she.
I am sure that homeschooling has many more of those instances. Kids think they
are smarter than their parents. I am sure it is a healthy developmental stage.
So, I would try to explain things to him, but the stuff that doesn't matter he
will figure out as he gets older and self correct. Also, homeschooling your
child has power struggles that children in public school may not have, at least
not as often. I have found that the battles I have fought with my kids were
resolved after I let go of the need to be right, and allowed other people (even
strangers) provide the information that they rebutted from me. Being a HS mom
has struggles and if you do not choose your battles wisely you can get very
stressed out. The best thing about homeschooling is when tensions are higher
like that you are able to take a break and go do something fun for a while
: )
plaidpanties666
Mo has been absolutely sure of a number of things over the years (she's 9) and then later, without any fuss at all, discovered she was wrong. Or completely forgotten she ever thought differently. Or completely lost interest in the topic.
Don't make a big deal about something that really isn't. Admire his very real cleverness and vision. Clever, visionary people are frequently wrong - what lets someone realize a vision isn't certainty, its a willingness to take a chance and learn something along the way. But if you make an issue of having a "right answer" too much of the time, kids can lose that willingness and come to believe its better to be right than imagine something new.
---Meredith
Don't make a big deal about something that really isn't. Admire his very real cleverness and vision. Clever, visionary people are frequently wrong - what lets someone realize a vision isn't certainty, its a willingness to take a chance and learn something along the way. But if you make an issue of having a "right answer" too much of the time, kids can lose that willingness and come to believe its better to be right than imagine something new.
---Meredith
odiniella
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666"
<plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
wrong. Or completely forgotten she ever thought differently. Or
completely lost interest in the topic.
argument to be won but a theory in the making. I encourage his theories
as I think that's a more important and practical skill than knowing any
particular detail. He'll figure out the details by experience.
Helen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
>(she's 9) and then later, without any fuss at all, discovered she was
> Mo has been absolutely sure of a number of things over the years
wrong. Or completely forgotten she ever thought differently. Or
completely lost interest in the topic.
>This has been my experience as well. Now with my youngest, I see not an
argument to be won but a theory in the making. I encourage his theories
as I think that's a more important and practical skill than knowing any
particular detail. He'll figure out the details by experience.
Helen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
foursquareschoolhouse
Excellent and thoughtful replies--every one. Thank you!
Amy
I'd help him diagram it. Learning is about fun and passion and I'm not really concerned about the marketability of my kids inventions ;-)
Love and Laughter,
Amy
Love and Laughter,
Amy
On Mar 28, 2011, at 6:15 AM, "foursquareschoolhouse" <foursquareschoolhouse@...> wrote:
> This morning my six-year-old son and I were discussing the American Revolution & the Civil War--he's watching America: The Story of Us (a second time).
>
> He suggested the invention of an "automatic bayonet" to replace the standard ol' bayonet. Immediately I began to explain what "automatic" means in regard to weaponry--and that a bayonet cannot really be made "automatic," nor would there be any point in making it so NOW.
>
> About ten minutes into the "argument" I stopped. I felt like I was simply fighting with him and quite frankly, does it matter that he know an automatic bayonet is unnecessary in 2011?
>
> What are your thoughts on this one--am I wrong to let him believe a bayonet could/should be made into some type of automatic weapon or should I just let his six-year-old mind mull it over?
>
> In other words, "pick my battles." No pun intended.
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Debra Rossing
Just to throw in my two cents - I agree that exploring the concept together is more important than being 'right' about it. I learned that (the hard way) when DH and I were dating. He's always thinking and pondering and coming up with ideas. I'd ask questions BUT I'd ask in such a way as to show how unnecessary or untenable the concept was. Finally, he got really upset and said that he already *knew* that the idea probably wasn't marketable or anything but he was pondering the concepts, principles, ideas involved and would I please either contribute positively or just shut up and let him think out loud. Boy did that take me aback a little - he's usually pretty laid back. It made me realize that all those years of "get the right answer" were pretty deeply ingrained. I gradually learned to jump in and explore with him rather than try to correct things. I'd ask "what if" questions to flesh out the concept, "what if someone wanted to do this...?" "how would this work , I don't quite get the whole picture here" One day 16 or 17 years ago, we even figured out a really cool thing - a touch screen that would change the configuration of the buttons depending on what you just picked (If you picked A, it would then display B C D, if you picked E, it would display F G H, and so on)...alas, it already EXISTED and now is in use in restaurants, cell phones, etc. We coulda been rich and famous LOL! That experience helped me learn how to interact with DS when he started explaining some idea or invention he had. I'd ask for details (size, shape, color, material, etc) and maybe what had triggered the idea (saw something on TV, part of a videogame, an experience he had, etc) and totally enter into his thought process as much as I could. Sometimes we'd discover that the thing already sort of existed in some form. Sometimes he'd follow his idea for a bit and realize that it was a 'dead end' (unwieldy, hard to make, whatever).
Deb R
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foursquareschoolhouse
What a great reply--thank you! And I completely agree, I think being right, correct, whatever is so ingrained in all of us we tend to argue just about everything.
I'm trying to deschool myself so I may better unschool my son.
And here is my main problem: I have a M.Ed. and teacher-certification. I think I'm at a huge disadvantage because of it. HA HA!
I'm trying to deschool myself so I may better unschool my son.
And here is my main problem: I have a M.Ed. and teacher-certification. I think I'm at a huge disadvantage because of it. HA HA!
--- In [email protected], Debra Rossing <debra.rossing@...> wrote:
>
> Just to throw in my two cents - I agree that exploring the concept together is more important than being 'right' about it. I learned that (the hard way) when DH and I were dating. He's always thinking and pondering and coming up with ideas. I'd ask questions BUT I'd ask in such a way as to show how unnecessary or untenable the concept was. Finally, he got really upset and said that he already *knew* that the idea probably wasn't marketable or anything but he was pondering the concepts, principles, ideas involved and would I please either contribute positively or just shut up and let him think out loud. Boy did that take me aback a little - he's usually pretty laid back. It made me realize that all those years of "get the right answer" were pretty deeply ingrained. I gradually learned to jump in and explore with him rather than try to correct things. I'd ask "what if" questions to flesh out the concept, "what if someone wanted to do this...?" "how would this work , I don't quite get the whole picture here" One day 16 or 17 years ago, we even figured out a really cool thing - a touch screen that would change the configuration of the buttons depending on what you just picked (If you picked A, it would then display B C D, if you picked E, it would display F G H, and so on)...alas, it already EXISTED and now is in use in restaurants, cell phones, etc. We coulda been rich and famous LOL! That experience helped me learn how to interact with DS when he started explaining some idea or invention he had. I'd ask for details (size, shape, color, material, etc) and maybe what had triggered the idea (saw something on TV, part of a videogame, an experience he had, etc) and totally enter into his thought process as much as I could. Sometimes we'd discover that the thing already sort of existed in some form. Sometimes he'd follow his idea for a bit and realize that it was a 'dead end' (unwieldy, hard to make, whatever).
>
> Deb R
>
>
>
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