16-yr-old -- is unschooling the best choice? Looking for suggestions
krist_mom
I feel as though I've been `dabbling' in unschooling, but am wondering if I'm doing it right. I love the philosophy and really think this is best for my kids.
I'm most concerned about my oldest child (age 16) who has special needs. He only wants to watch tv and play video and computer games. He has learning disabilities, so I know that learning is difficult for him. With two years left of "official" high school, I'm worried about his future.
I've never given tests and really encouraged my kids to follow their interests. Whatever their interests were, I made sure I had anything on hand that they might . . . books, activities, etc. and would take them wherever they wanted to go. For example, my youngest loves dinosaurs so he loves going to the museum. I would make dinosaur excavations in our yard, get dinosaur models, etc.
We're required to test yearly and my children have never done well on them.
My oldest son wants to be a videogame programmer. We sent away for info on what colleges required. He saw that math was one of subjects, but it didn't motivate him. He wanted to take a community class in programming, but after a few days, he dropped out because it was too hard.
He just doesn't seem to have the discipline to stick with anything other than playing video games (which he is good at).
His new career goal is to test video games, but only the ones that he likes to play.
My DH has been supportive, but we're both concerned about his future. I'm totally fine with keeping him home a few extra years, but I'm starting to wonder if my son will ever have that love of learning.
DH is putting pressure on me to start forcing some "book learning" so that he'll be prepared for some sort of a career.
I'm looking for any advice and suggestions you have. I'm also wondering if unschooling is ever the wrong choice for a child?
Krista
I'm most concerned about my oldest child (age 16) who has special needs. He only wants to watch tv and play video and computer games. He has learning disabilities, so I know that learning is difficult for him. With two years left of "official" high school, I'm worried about his future.
I've never given tests and really encouraged my kids to follow their interests. Whatever their interests were, I made sure I had anything on hand that they might . . . books, activities, etc. and would take them wherever they wanted to go. For example, my youngest loves dinosaurs so he loves going to the museum. I would make dinosaur excavations in our yard, get dinosaur models, etc.
We're required to test yearly and my children have never done well on them.
My oldest son wants to be a videogame programmer. We sent away for info on what colleges required. He saw that math was one of subjects, but it didn't motivate him. He wanted to take a community class in programming, but after a few days, he dropped out because it was too hard.
He just doesn't seem to have the discipline to stick with anything other than playing video games (which he is good at).
His new career goal is to test video games, but only the ones that he likes to play.
My DH has been supportive, but we're both concerned about his future. I'm totally fine with keeping him home a few extra years, but I'm starting to wonder if my son will ever have that love of learning.
DH is putting pressure on me to start forcing some "book learning" so that he'll be prepared for some sort of a career.
I'm looking for any advice and suggestions you have. I'm also wondering if unschooling is ever the wrong choice for a child?
Krista
Schuyler
He has learning disabilities, so I know that learning is difficult for him.
________________
Learning isn't difficult for him, is it? It's learning specific pieces of
information that give him difficulty or learning using more generally applied
techniques of instruction. I would assume that he, like everybody else, learns
from the world around him via the things that engage him. The idea that someone
would have difficulty learning puzzles me. Really. I'm not being sarcastic. I
understand how dyslexia can make reading a bigger hurdle or how dyscalculia can
make numbers harder to deal with, but I'm not at all sure that I see how those
difficulties are truly obstacles to learning.
___________________
I'm most concerned about my oldest child (age 16) who has special needs. He
only wants to watch tv and play video and computer games.
___________________
How long have you been unschooling? How long have you been supporting his
interests and helping him to engage with the world in the way the he wants? You
start this e-mail with "I feel as though I've been `dabbling' in unschooling,
but am wondering if I'm doing it right. I love the philosophy and really think
this is best for my kids." If you keep starting and stopping, if you keep
looking for measures of success, if you are confused about how much learning is
involved in game playing and tv watching, you may not have gotten to a point
where you've stopped deschooling and started unschooling.
________________________
I've never given tests and really encouraged my kids to follow their interests.
________________________
is contradicted by:
________________________
We're required to test yearly and my children have never done well on them.
________________________
I recognise that the testing is something that you are legally bound to do, but
you don't have to read the test scores, do you? You don't need to recognise the
tests as valuable pieces of information or reasonable measures of your children.
________________________
Whatever their interests were, I made sure I had anything on hand that they
might . . . books, activities, etc. and would take them wherever they wanted to
go. For example, my youngest loves dinosaurs so he loves going to the museum. I
would make dinosaur excavations in our yard, get dinosaur models, etc.
________________________
Computer games? Video games? Cool television programmes? Walkthroughs? New games
that your 16 year old may not have heard of that are similar to one's you know
he liked? Videos of parodies of things he may enjoy? Do you help create those
connections as well as the ones that look more academic?
It's cool to be doing the dinosaur stuff. Could you also see your son's interest
in media like video games and computer games and television as serious learning?
__________________________
My oldest son wants to be a videogame programmer. We sent away for info on what
colleges required. He saw that math was one of subjects, but it didn't motivate
him. He wanted to take a community class in programming, but after a few days,
he dropped out because it was too hard.
___________________________
He doesn't have to go to school to programme video games. He could create mods
for Minecraft. He could make flash games. He could explore Alice
(http://www.alice.org/), Randy Pausch's baby. If you don't know who Randy Pausch
is, you could watch his amazing life story here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo&feature=player_embedded, be warned,
you'll cry. He could create new areas on Roblox. Explore it. Look for ways for
him to create a video game right now, not after jumping over some hurdle.
Maybe, too, he doesn't really want to be a video game programmer, maybe he just
wanted to have something to answer you and his dad when you asked him what he
wanted to do. What did you want to do at 16? What do you do now? Do they match?
What about your husband?
____________________
He just doesn't seem to have the discipline to stick with anything other than
playing video games (which he is good at).
____________________
It takes a lot of focus to play video games. There are a huge amount of hurdles
to overcome. They take attention and reflection and thought and learning and
thinking and interest and engagement. Play one, or watch him play one. I used to
play a lot of video games with Simon and Linnaea. The other day I tried to play
Super Mario Galaxy 2 and I had to spend a bit running through levels just to get
back up to almost speed on how to play. Simon was very tolerant of my inability
as he partnered with me.
___________________
His new career goal is to test video games, but only the ones that he likes to
play.
__________________
He'll have to try a lot to figure out which one's he likes... Simon and Linnaea
have beta tested a few different games, but in mass beta testings, not as paid
testers.
___________________
My DH has been supportive, but we're both concerned about his future.
____________________
I have a bumper sticker, somewhere, that says "Unschooling for a better today".
It reminds me of the cliché "to mind the pence and the pounds will take care of
themselves." Take care of right now, look for ways to make it good and engaging
and fun and interesting. The more right now is good, the more pleasure his today
offers, the more he will learn from it how to make the next day good and
engaging and interesting and fun. It also reminds me of the mayor of Asterix and
Obelix's village in the Asterix and Obelix comic book series. He says that
tomorrow the sky will fall, but adds that "tomorrow never comes." All you've got
is today, tomorrow never comes. And, of course, the future is now (but I don't
understand that one so much).
____________________
I'm totally fine with keeping him home a few extra years, but I'm starting to
wonder if my son will ever have that love of learning.
___________________
What are extra years? He's 16, were you thinking he'd leave home at 18?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/apr/15/twentysomethings-staying-at-home-social-trends
is a few years old and about the UK, but maybe it will give you a different
time
frame to think about.
___________________
DH is putting pressure on me to start forcing some "book learning" so that he'll
be prepared for some sort of a career.
____________________
What book learning would help? What does DH think would make the difference?
Really.
_______________
I'm looking for any advice and suggestions you have. I'm also wondering if
unschooling is ever the wrong choice for a child?
_______________
Some children want to go to school. And while you can protect a child from
feeling too much of school's pressure, and approach the out of school time with
an unschooling bent, they aren't going to be unschooling while going to school.
I don't know about otherwise. However, I do think, sometimes, unschooling isn't
an approach that all parents can do.
Schuyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
________________
Learning isn't difficult for him, is it? It's learning specific pieces of
information that give him difficulty or learning using more generally applied
techniques of instruction. I would assume that he, like everybody else, learns
from the world around him via the things that engage him. The idea that someone
would have difficulty learning puzzles me. Really. I'm not being sarcastic. I
understand how dyslexia can make reading a bigger hurdle or how dyscalculia can
make numbers harder to deal with, but I'm not at all sure that I see how those
difficulties are truly obstacles to learning.
___________________
I'm most concerned about my oldest child (age 16) who has special needs. He
only wants to watch tv and play video and computer games.
___________________
How long have you been unschooling? How long have you been supporting his
interests and helping him to engage with the world in the way the he wants? You
start this e-mail with "I feel as though I've been `dabbling' in unschooling,
but am wondering if I'm doing it right. I love the philosophy and really think
this is best for my kids." If you keep starting and stopping, if you keep
looking for measures of success, if you are confused about how much learning is
involved in game playing and tv watching, you may not have gotten to a point
where you've stopped deschooling and started unschooling.
________________________
I've never given tests and really encouraged my kids to follow their interests.
________________________
is contradicted by:
________________________
We're required to test yearly and my children have never done well on them.
________________________
I recognise that the testing is something that you are legally bound to do, but
you don't have to read the test scores, do you? You don't need to recognise the
tests as valuable pieces of information or reasonable measures of your children.
________________________
Whatever their interests were, I made sure I had anything on hand that they
might . . . books, activities, etc. and would take them wherever they wanted to
go. For example, my youngest loves dinosaurs so he loves going to the museum. I
would make dinosaur excavations in our yard, get dinosaur models, etc.
________________________
Computer games? Video games? Cool television programmes? Walkthroughs? New games
that your 16 year old may not have heard of that are similar to one's you know
he liked? Videos of parodies of things he may enjoy? Do you help create those
connections as well as the ones that look more academic?
It's cool to be doing the dinosaur stuff. Could you also see your son's interest
in media like video games and computer games and television as serious learning?
__________________________
My oldest son wants to be a videogame programmer. We sent away for info on what
colleges required. He saw that math was one of subjects, but it didn't motivate
him. He wanted to take a community class in programming, but after a few days,
he dropped out because it was too hard.
___________________________
He doesn't have to go to school to programme video games. He could create mods
for Minecraft. He could make flash games. He could explore Alice
(http://www.alice.org/), Randy Pausch's baby. If you don't know who Randy Pausch
is, you could watch his amazing life story here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo&feature=player_embedded, be warned,
you'll cry. He could create new areas on Roblox. Explore it. Look for ways for
him to create a video game right now, not after jumping over some hurdle.
Maybe, too, he doesn't really want to be a video game programmer, maybe he just
wanted to have something to answer you and his dad when you asked him what he
wanted to do. What did you want to do at 16? What do you do now? Do they match?
What about your husband?
____________________
He just doesn't seem to have the discipline to stick with anything other than
playing video games (which he is good at).
____________________
It takes a lot of focus to play video games. There are a huge amount of hurdles
to overcome. They take attention and reflection and thought and learning and
thinking and interest and engagement. Play one, or watch him play one. I used to
play a lot of video games with Simon and Linnaea. The other day I tried to play
Super Mario Galaxy 2 and I had to spend a bit running through levels just to get
back up to almost speed on how to play. Simon was very tolerant of my inability
as he partnered with me.
___________________
His new career goal is to test video games, but only the ones that he likes to
play.
__________________
He'll have to try a lot to figure out which one's he likes... Simon and Linnaea
have beta tested a few different games, but in mass beta testings, not as paid
testers.
___________________
My DH has been supportive, but we're both concerned about his future.
____________________
I have a bumper sticker, somewhere, that says "Unschooling for a better today".
It reminds me of the cliché "to mind the pence and the pounds will take care of
themselves." Take care of right now, look for ways to make it good and engaging
and fun and interesting. The more right now is good, the more pleasure his today
offers, the more he will learn from it how to make the next day good and
engaging and interesting and fun. It also reminds me of the mayor of Asterix and
Obelix's village in the Asterix and Obelix comic book series. He says that
tomorrow the sky will fall, but adds that "tomorrow never comes." All you've got
is today, tomorrow never comes. And, of course, the future is now (but I don't
understand that one so much).
____________________
I'm totally fine with keeping him home a few extra years, but I'm starting to
wonder if my son will ever have that love of learning.
___________________
What are extra years? He's 16, were you thinking he'd leave home at 18?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/apr/15/twentysomethings-staying-at-home-social-trends
is a few years old and about the UK, but maybe it will give you a different
time
frame to think about.
___________________
DH is putting pressure on me to start forcing some "book learning" so that he'll
be prepared for some sort of a career.
____________________
What book learning would help? What does DH think would make the difference?
Really.
_______________
I'm looking for any advice and suggestions you have. I'm also wondering if
unschooling is ever the wrong choice for a child?
_______________
Some children want to go to school. And while you can protect a child from
feeling too much of school's pressure, and approach the out of school time with
an unschooling bent, they aren't going to be unschooling while going to school.
I don't know about otherwise. However, I do think, sometimes, unschooling isn't
an approach that all parents can do.
Schuyler
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
"krist_mom" <krista.aarnio@...> wrote:
If you're separating what he loves to do from "learning" then you won't ever see a love of learning ;) Humans learn naturally in everything they do - but it can take a good bit of stretching on the part of parents to see and value that learning. Lumping everything he loves under "tv, video and computer games" is part of the problem - there's more than one show on tv, more than one kind of video and computer game, and more than one skill utilized in each game. Do you play games at all? Its much easier to understand that if you've put some time into actually playing a game or two to see the learning and skills required.
Part of the problem is he got bad advice. *You* got bad advice because you didn't know what questions to ask - you got information about the kinds of skills needed to write code, and thought that was programming, but programming is a much bigger field than that, nowadays, one that overlaps with graphic design. Chances are, your son isn't interested in writing code, and maybe doesn't have the skills for that - but a whooooole lot of game and animation programming uses code that other people have already written. Really.
There are a couple of free programming platforms that you can find online if you want to check things out - look for Alice, which is a program put out by Carnegie Melon as a college-level teaching program but which has been used very successfully by middle school programs and even younger homeschoolers (my 9yo didn't have much trouble with it). Another one to look for is Scratch. Both can be used to design and create animation and games with No formal math whatsoever.
Let your son know you got bad information! It can sometimes help kids to know parents can make mistakes like that and it gives you the chance to reassure him that he doesn't need to take whopping hard math courses to program.
No, but can be the wrong choice for a *family* if you see what I mean. It can take a surprising amount of stretching outside of established ideas of what comprises learning on the one hand and support on the other.
Thinking outside the box is a skill that parents need in a big way in order to unschool unconventional children successfully. It will help to step back from the idea of "a career" and think about all the very different kinds of lives and lifestyles that exist - especially in todays rapidly changing world. It will help to step back from the idea of "college" and think about all the very different ways people transition from childhood to adulthood. Some of those involve college, but some people go to college much later or not at all - many many more than the school-college-career-retirement ideal recognizes.
---Meredith
> I'm totally fine with keeping him home a few extra years, but I'm starting to wonder if my son will ever have that love of learning.***************
If you're separating what he loves to do from "learning" then you won't ever see a love of learning ;) Humans learn naturally in everything they do - but it can take a good bit of stretching on the part of parents to see and value that learning. Lumping everything he loves under "tv, video and computer games" is part of the problem - there's more than one show on tv, more than one kind of video and computer game, and more than one skill utilized in each game. Do you play games at all? Its much easier to understand that if you've put some time into actually playing a game or two to see the learning and skills required.
> My oldest son wants to be a videogame programmer. We sent away for info on what colleges required. He saw that math was one of subjects, but it didn't motivate him. He wanted to take a community class in programming, but after a few days, he dropped out because it was too hard.****************
Part of the problem is he got bad advice. *You* got bad advice because you didn't know what questions to ask - you got information about the kinds of skills needed to write code, and thought that was programming, but programming is a much bigger field than that, nowadays, one that overlaps with graphic design. Chances are, your son isn't interested in writing code, and maybe doesn't have the skills for that - but a whooooole lot of game and animation programming uses code that other people have already written. Really.
There are a couple of free programming platforms that you can find online if you want to check things out - look for Alice, which is a program put out by Carnegie Melon as a college-level teaching program but which has been used very successfully by middle school programs and even younger homeschoolers (my 9yo didn't have much trouble with it). Another one to look for is Scratch. Both can be used to design and create animation and games with No formal math whatsoever.
Let your son know you got bad information! It can sometimes help kids to know parents can make mistakes like that and it gives you the chance to reassure him that he doesn't need to take whopping hard math courses to program.
> I'm also wondering if unschooling is ever the wrong choice for a child?****************
No, but can be the wrong choice for a *family* if you see what I mean. It can take a surprising amount of stretching outside of established ideas of what comprises learning on the one hand and support on the other.
Thinking outside the box is a skill that parents need in a big way in order to unschool unconventional children successfully. It will help to step back from the idea of "a career" and think about all the very different kinds of lives and lifestyles that exist - especially in todays rapidly changing world. It will help to step back from the idea of "college" and think about all the very different ways people transition from childhood to adulthood. Some of those involve college, but some people go to college much later or not at all - many many more than the school-college-career-retirement ideal recognizes.
---Meredith
[email protected]
HI. I just want to say that I am completely facinated by the "unschooling concept" and am enjoying reading these posts, especially this one because it raises many questions that I have as I am very new to this concept. I just ordered the Life Learning book and I am eager to read it. I can see that this group is a wonderful support and offers so much valuable information. I am eager to learn more. My son taught himself how to use scratch and has thoroughly enjoyed it (he is 12). I hope to learn more and in doing so unprogram myself from the ways of thinking that a formal education is required and college is a must.
I spent 13 years in little prominant private schools and then went right off to earn a 4 year degree in business, yet it really is not what I was meant to do. Now I see what a love of learning I have, enjoying books of subjects that interest me. I love to read and learn more, forming my own opinions. I see my husband who spent 13 years in the public school, 2 years in college before leaving and starting a successful DJ business. Now he is shooting his screenplay into a full feature independednt film (no film degree or formal education in that field) and we will see what that brings. But my point is he had a desire to study and learn independently and he did it.
I am happy to have removed my oldest from the public school and I hope to remove my other 2 children and to have the confidence to unschool and know that they will find their passion naturally.
Andrea
I spent 13 years in little prominant private schools and then went right off to earn a 4 year degree in business, yet it really is not what I was meant to do. Now I see what a love of learning I have, enjoying books of subjects that interest me. I love to read and learn more, forming my own opinions. I see my husband who spent 13 years in the public school, 2 years in college before leaving and starting a successful DJ business. Now he is shooting his screenplay into a full feature independednt film (no film degree or formal education in that field) and we will see what that brings. But my point is he had a desire to study and learn independently and he did it.
I am happy to have removed my oldest from the public school and I hope to remove my other 2 children and to have the confidence to unschool and know that they will find their passion naturally.
Andrea
----- Original Message -----
From: "plaidpanties666" <plaidpanties666@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, March 20, 2011 8:26:01 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: 16-yr-old -- is unschooling the best choice? Looking for suggestions
"krist_mom" <krista.aarnio@...> wrote:
> I'm totally fine with keeping him home a few extra years, but I'm starting to wonder if my son will ever have that love of learning.
***************
If you're separating what he loves to do from "learning" then you won't ever see a love of learning ;) Humans learn naturally in everything they do - but it can take a good bit of stretching on the part of parents to see and value that learning. Lumping everything he loves under "tv, video and computer games" is part of the problem - there's more than one show on tv, more than one kind of video and computer game, and more than one skill utilized in each game. Do you play games at all? Its much easier to understand that if you've put some time into actually playing a game or two to see the learning and skills required.
> My oldest son wants to be a videogame programmer. We sent away for info on what colleges required. He saw that math was one of subjects, but it didn't motivate him. He wanted to take a community class in programming, but after a few days, he dropped out because it was too hard.
****************
Part of the problem is he got bad advice. *You* got bad advice because you didn't know what questions to ask - you got information about the kinds of skills needed to write code, and thought that was programming, but programming is a much bigger field than that, nowadays, one that overlaps with graphic design. Chances are, your son isn't interested in writing code, and maybe doesn't have the skills for that - but a whooooole lot of game and animation programming uses code that other people have already written. Really.
There are a couple of free programming platforms that you can find online if you want to check things out - look for Alice, which is a program put out by Carnegie Melon as a college-level teaching program but which has been used very successfully by middle school programs and even younger homeschoolers (my 9yo didn't have much trouble with it). Another one to look for is Scratch. Both can be used to design and create animation and games with No formal math whatsoever.
Let your son know you got bad information! It can sometimes help kids to know parents can make mistakes like that and it gives you the chance to reassure him that he doesn't need to take whopping hard math courses to program.
> I'm also wondering if unschooling is ever the wrong choice for a child?
****************
No, but can be the wrong choice for a *family* if you see what I mean. It can take a surprising amount of stretching outside of established ideas of what comprises learning on the one hand and support on the other.
Thinking outside the box is a skill that parents need in a big way in order to unschool unconventional children successfully. It will help to step back from the idea of "a career" and think about all the very different kinds of lives and lifestyles that exist - especially in todays rapidly changing world. It will help to step back from the idea of "college" and think about all the very different ways people transition from childhood to adulthood. Some of those involve college, but some people go to college much later or not at all - many many more than the school-college-career-retirement ideal recognizes.
---Meredith
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
odiniella
Hi Krista,
I'm not very experienced with unschooling either but do have a child
with special needs and can totally relate to your concerns. My child
would spend hours and hours playing MarioKart on his Nintendo DS. I
thought it was a waste of time but for reasons unrelated to anything, I
let him spend his time that way. Turns out he wasn't just playing, he
was exploring and learning. He learned how to modify the program so he
could manipulate his game his way. Things like unlimited jumping or
300x speed or Rainbow Mario were, I thought, foolish wastes of time
however clever it was to figure that out. He then moved on (like all
people do, I think). For him it was moving on to programing his kindle.
His blog was mentioned a couple times in ebooks and bigger blogs which
totally made his day. I suspect one day he'll be a programing wiz. All
this started with a love of physiology. What's the connection? In my
opinion, he really gravitates towards understanding the mechanics of how
things work. Not spending time on text books gave him the time to learn
the details of those things I thought were silly past times. He was
about 14 at the time.
I'm learning - for me myself and I - that "unschooling" is uncomfortable
because I'm looking for the practical solution to problems such as How
Will This Lead To A Career (or, Will He Ever Move Out Of My Home). When
I stop wondering about what will happen in five years, I can reflect on
the last five years and I can see they were anything but stagnant.
I don't know if this will help at all. My daughter doesn't seem to have
any interests except for reading books and hanging out with friends (of
which we have precious few). So in a way, I'm whistling in the dark
here myself and perhaps this is just to make me feel better, but I think
there's something to this idea that in allowing a child to focus on
their interests, they will naturally learn what they love to do (just
like toddlers do without a curriculum). At the same time, I try to
teach my kids the kinds of skills they'll need to live independently one
day - keeping the house orderly, paying bills, organizing our time, etc.
Whether or not your son ever has his "dream job" is separate from having
the skills he'll need to live independently. In my opinion. I'm eager
to hear what seasoned unschoolers think.
Helen
--- In [email protected], "krist_mom"
<krista.aarnio@...> wrote:
has learning disabilities, so I know that learning is difficult for him.
With two years left of "official" high school, I'm worried about his
future.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I'm not very experienced with unschooling either but do have a child
with special needs and can totally relate to your concerns. My child
would spend hours and hours playing MarioKart on his Nintendo DS. I
thought it was a waste of time but for reasons unrelated to anything, I
let him spend his time that way. Turns out he wasn't just playing, he
was exploring and learning. He learned how to modify the program so he
could manipulate his game his way. Things like unlimited jumping or
300x speed or Rainbow Mario were, I thought, foolish wastes of time
however clever it was to figure that out. He then moved on (like all
people do, I think). For him it was moving on to programing his kindle.
His blog was mentioned a couple times in ebooks and bigger blogs which
totally made his day. I suspect one day he'll be a programing wiz. All
this started with a love of physiology. What's the connection? In my
opinion, he really gravitates towards understanding the mechanics of how
things work. Not spending time on text books gave him the time to learn
the details of those things I thought were silly past times. He was
about 14 at the time.
I'm learning - for me myself and I - that "unschooling" is uncomfortable
because I'm looking for the practical solution to problems such as How
Will This Lead To A Career (or, Will He Ever Move Out Of My Home). When
I stop wondering about what will happen in five years, I can reflect on
the last five years and I can see they were anything but stagnant.
I don't know if this will help at all. My daughter doesn't seem to have
any interests except for reading books and hanging out with friends (of
which we have precious few). So in a way, I'm whistling in the dark
here myself and perhaps this is just to make me feel better, but I think
there's something to this idea that in allowing a child to focus on
their interests, they will naturally learn what they love to do (just
like toddlers do without a curriculum). At the same time, I try to
teach my kids the kinds of skills they'll need to live independently one
day - keeping the house orderly, paying bills, organizing our time, etc.
Whether or not your son ever has his "dream job" is separate from having
the skills he'll need to live independently. In my opinion. I'm eager
to hear what seasoned unschoolers think.
Helen
--- In [email protected], "krist_mom"
<krista.aarnio@...> wrote:
>needs. He only wants to watch tv and play video and computer games. He
> I'm most concerned about my oldest child (age 16) who has special
has learning disabilities, so I know that learning is difficult for him.
With two years left of "official" high school, I'm worried about his
future.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
"odiniella" <hgaimari@...> wrote:
---Meredith
>> I'm learning - for me myself and I - that "unschooling" is uncomfortableSometimes it can help to use school as a kind of "reality check" - plenty of school parents Also worry about these things, because they hear all the feedback that's saying schools don't prepare kids for work or life or even college. Parenting *is* uncomfortable! You can't control other people - and even if you could, it wouldn't guarantee either success or happiness.
> because I'm looking for the practical solution to problems such as How
> Will This Lead To A Career (or, Will He Ever Move Out Of My Home).
>At the same time, I try toThose skills don't take a lot of teaching - none at all, really, as long as you're reasonably transparant about how those things get done. The advantage of kids being home is they get to see all of that stuff regularly. They're there when you're doing things and you can invite them to join you - even just hanging out they'll pick up the basic principles. And now and then you can ask if they'd like to help.
> teach my kids the kinds of skills they'll need to live independently one
> day - keeping the house orderly, paying bills, organizing our time, etc.
---Meredith