Unschooling and schoool
sarah taylor
My kids just started a charter school last week where they go 2 days a week.
The classes are elective type classes. One is books and cooks, where they
get to cook in the class. One is literature through the seasons, where they
are creating a book for the end of the year. My son's class is just a
mini-kindergarten class. Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymore
because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types of
"fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a museum etc.
all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house. DD age 11 would sit in
her room for hours on the computer and then complain that she didn't "do"
anything all day, complain that she was bored, but no matter what I would
suggest, that didn't sound like fun, and she couldn't seem to think up
anything on her own either. My son age 5, would play the Wii all day, and
meltdown anytime someone else wanted the TV (we have multiple TV's but the
Wii is on the bigscreen, and even though we offered to put movies on the
other TV or the Wii on the other TV, everyone would just end up arguing over
the big TV) UGH!!! I finally decided that something had to change and found
this charter school. It was gone into with the attitude that if they don't
like it and want to quit, they absolutely can, but so far so good. My
youngest also just started at a preschool where they use the Reggio Emilia
approach. I decided to start her there because she is so social and she
loves it. She may be the one of my children who really likes school and
wants to go to a regular school and that will have to be OK with me. I loved
school when I was in school so maybe she just takes after me. If she starts
not wanting to go though, that will be fine too.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The classes are elective type classes. One is books and cooks, where they
get to cook in the class. One is literature through the seasons, where they
are creating a book for the end of the year. My son's class is just a
mini-kindergarten class. Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymore
because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types of
"fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a museum etc.
all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house. DD age 11 would sit in
her room for hours on the computer and then complain that she didn't "do"
anything all day, complain that she was bored, but no matter what I would
suggest, that didn't sound like fun, and she couldn't seem to think up
anything on her own either. My son age 5, would play the Wii all day, and
meltdown anytime someone else wanted the TV (we have multiple TV's but the
Wii is on the bigscreen, and even though we offered to put movies on the
other TV or the Wii on the other TV, everyone would just end up arguing over
the big TV) UGH!!! I finally decided that something had to change and found
this charter school. It was gone into with the attitude that if they don't
like it and want to quit, they absolutely can, but so far so good. My
youngest also just started at a preschool where they use the Reggio Emilia
approach. I decided to start her there because she is so social and she
loves it. She may be the one of my children who really likes school and
wants to go to a regular school and that will have to be OK with me. I loved
school when I was in school so maybe she just takes after me. If she starts
not wanting to go though, that will be fine too.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Well, good for you and them. We have to do what actually fits our actual families. Not try to stick with a philosophy that isn't working for anyone.
Nance
Nance
--- In [email protected], sarah taylor <bdb1978@...> wrote:
>
> My kids just started a charter school last week where they go 2 days a week.
> The classes are elective type classes. One is books and cooks, where they
> get to cook in the class. One is literature through the seasons, where they
> are creating a book for the end of the year. My son's class is just a
> mini-kindergarten class. Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymore
> because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types of
> "fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a museum etc.
> all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house. DD age 11 would sit in
> her room for hours on the computer and then complain that she didn't "do"
> anything all day, complain that she was bored, but no matter what I would
> suggest, that didn't sound like fun, and she couldn't seem to think up
> anything on her own either. My son age 5, would play the Wii all day, and
> meltdown anytime someone else wanted the TV (we have multiple TV's but the
> Wii is on the bigscreen, and even though we offered to put movies on the
> other TV or the Wii on the other TV, everyone would just end up arguing over
> the big TV) UGH!!! I finally decided that something had to change and found
> this charter school. It was gone into with the attitude that if they don't
> like it and want to quit, they absolutely can, but so far so good. My
> youngest also just started at a preschool where they use the Reggio Emilia
> approach. I decided to start her there because she is so social and she
> loves it. She may be the one of my children who really likes school and
> wants to go to a regular school and that will have to be OK with me. I loved
> school when I was in school so maybe she just takes after me. If she starts
> not wanting to go though, that will be fine too.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
JJ
It's too bad though, if this doesn't actually fit everyone, if the 11-year-old daughter (with whom the unschooling philosophy HAD been working for?) gradually faced the forced choice between a charter or being not-so-happily home with two preschool siblings and a mom who couldn't succesfully unschool with them . . .
--- In [email protected], "marbleface@..." <marbleface@...> wrote:
>
> Well, good for you and them. We have to do what actually fits our actual families. Not try to stick with a philosophy that isn't working for anyone.
>
> Nance
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], sarah taylor <bdb1978@> wrote:
> >
> > My kids just started a charter school last week where they go 2 days a week.
> > The classes are elective type classes. One is books and cooks, where they
> > get to cook in the class. One is literature through the seasons, where they
> > are creating a book for the end of the year. My son's class is just a
> > mini-kindergarten class. Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymore
> > because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types of
> > "fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a museum etc.
> > all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house. DD age 11 would sit in
> > her room for hours on the computer and then complain that she didn't "do"
> > anything all day, complain that she was bored, but no matter what I would
> > suggest, that didn't sound like fun, and she couldn't seem to think up
> > anything on her own either. My son age 5, would play the Wii all day, and
> > meltdown anytime someone else wanted the TV (we have multiple TV's but the
> > Wii is on the bigscreen, and even though we offered to put movies on the
> > other TV or the Wii on the other TV, everyone would just end up arguing over
> > the big TV) UGH!!! I finally decided that something had to change and found
> > this charter school. It was gone into with the attitude that if they don't
> > like it and want to quit, they absolutely can, but so far so good. My
> > youngest also just started at a preschool where they use the Reggio Emilia
> > approach. I decided to start her there because she is so social and she
> > loves it. She may be the one of my children who really likes school and
> > wants to go to a regular school and that will have to be OK with me. I loved
> > school when I was in school so maybe she just takes after me. If she starts
> > not wanting to go though, that will be fine too.
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
plaidpanties666
sarah taylor <bdb1978@...> wrote:
---Meredith
> Unschooling wasn't going great for usIt was pretty clear from your previous posts that you were struggling with it. While making a different set of choices may not be your ideal, if it sets your family up for more peace and joy, that's a good thing! Best wishes on your endeavors as a schooling family!
---Meredith
Joyce Fetteroll
On Feb 11, 2011, at 3:03 PM, sarah taylor wrote:
Just as a more general statement for anyone reading: Unschooling isn't
for everyone.
I do firmly believe exploration of interests can work for every child.
But, the children need the environment that matches their needs. For
example, if they learn best riffing off other people with similar
ideas and a family can't get them connected and some other program
can, it's better for the kids to connect than to put some ideal of
unschooling ahead of the kids.
That's going to scare some people. Some people will worry if they've
got what it takes to unschool. And it won't help anyone if people
sooth those worries with platitudes of "You'll do fine!" when they
have no knowledge of the situation to back that up.
Worry's not good though! But questioning it definitely is. If there
are parts that aren't working, do bring it here and unschoolers can
look at it with fresh eyes and give you suggestions.
often don't sound nearly as appealing as going along with plans that
are already in motion. Kathryn is very much like that.
I understand not everyone likes to put themselves under the microscope
but I think it doesn't help people understand what makes unschooling
work and not work if people struggle alone, give up and then
*publicly* declare unschooling wasn't working.
No one should be trying to figure this out on their own. That's a
school thing! It's okay to work together in groups. It's how people in
the real world solve problems! ;-)
I'm glad you found something that's working for you. But if anyone's
struggling to make these ideas work, do, please ask! Maybe people will
come up with ways of looking at it that you're not able to see because
you're too close to the problem, too close to the personalities
involved.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymoreThank you Nance for what you said! I kept spinning my wheels ;-)
> because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types
> of
> "fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a
> museum etc.
> all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house.
Just as a more general statement for anyone reading: Unschooling isn't
for everyone.
I do firmly believe exploration of interests can work for every child.
But, the children need the environment that matches their needs. For
example, if they learn best riffing off other people with similar
ideas and a family can't get them connected and some other program
can, it's better for the kids to connect than to put some ideal of
unschooling ahead of the kids.
That's going to scare some people. Some people will worry if they've
got what it takes to unschool. And it won't help anyone if people
sooth those worries with platitudes of "You'll do fine!" when they
have no knowledge of the situation to back that up.
Worry's not good though! But questioning it definitely is. If there
are parts that aren't working, do bring it here and unschoolers can
look at it with fresh eyes and give you suggestions.
> DD age 11 would sit inWith some kids, doing is better than suggesting. For them, choices
> her room for hours on the computer and then complain that she didn't
> "do"
> anything all day, complain that she was bored, but no matter what I
> would
> suggest, that didn't sound like fun, and she couldn't seem to think up
> anything on her own either.
often don't sound nearly as appealing as going along with plans that
are already in motion. Kathryn is very much like that.
> Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymoreDid you bring any of your difficulties here for analysis?
> because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types
> of
> "fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a
> museum etc.
> all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house.
I understand not everyone likes to put themselves under the microscope
but I think it doesn't help people understand what makes unschooling
work and not work if people struggle alone, give up and then
*publicly* declare unschooling wasn't working.
No one should be trying to figure this out on their own. That's a
school thing! It's okay to work together in groups. It's how people in
the real world solve problems! ;-)
I'm glad you found something that's working for you. But if anyone's
struggling to make these ideas work, do, please ask! Maybe people will
come up with ways of looking at it that you're not able to see because
you're too close to the problem, too close to the personalities
involved.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Feb 12, 2011, at 10:10 AM, plaidpanties666 wrote:
search. :-P
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> It was pretty clear from your previous postsWere there previous posts? If so then I really hate Yahoo's archive
search. :-P
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Yes. Too bad if any choice is forced onto all of them. I hope they find a way to individualize enough to make everyone happy. Even if it doesn't look like straight unschooling or complete schooling.
Nance
Nance
--- In [email protected], "JJ" <jrossedd@...> wrote:
>
> It's too bad though, if this doesn't actually fit everyone, if the 11-year-old daughter (with whom the unschooling philosophy HAD been working for?) gradually faced the forced choice between a charter or being not-so-happily home with two preschool siblings and a mom who couldn't succesfully unschool with them . . .
>
> --- In [email protected], "marbleface@" <marbleface@> wrote:
> >
> > Well, good for you and them. We have to do what actually fits our actual families. Not try to stick with a philosophy that isn't working for anyone.
> >
> > Nance
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In [email protected], sarah taylor <bdb1978@> wrote:
> > >
> > > My kids just started a charter school last week where they go 2 days a week.
> > > The classes are elective type classes. One is books and cooks, where they
> > > get to cook in the class. One is literature through the seasons, where they
> > > are creating a book for the end of the year. My son's class is just a
> > > mini-kindergarten class. Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymore
> > > because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types of
> > > "fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a museum etc.
> > > all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house. DD age 11 would sit in
> > > her room for hours on the computer and then complain that she didn't "do"
> > > anything all day, complain that she was bored, but no matter what I would
> > > suggest, that didn't sound like fun, and she couldn't seem to think up
> > > anything on her own either. My son age 5, would play the Wii all day, and
> > > meltdown anytime someone else wanted the TV (we have multiple TV's but the
> > > Wii is on the bigscreen, and even though we offered to put movies on the
> > > other TV or the Wii on the other TV, everyone would just end up arguing over
> > > the big TV) UGH!!! I finally decided that something had to change and found
> > > this charter school. It was gone into with the attitude that if they don't
> > > like it and want to quit, they absolutely can, but so far so good. My
> > > youngest also just started at a preschool where they use the Reggio Emilia
> > > approach. I decided to start her there because she is so social and she
> > > loves it. She may be the one of my children who really likes school and
> > > wants to go to a regular school and that will have to be OK with me. I loved
> > > school when I was in school so maybe she just takes after me. If she starts
> > > not wanting to go though, that will be fine too.
> > >
> > >
> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> > >
> >
>
plaidpanties666
Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:
It seems that they started attempting unschooling around a year ago after troubles with school and homeschooling. There were assorted issues with husband not being supportive, family and friends pushing schooly stuff at the kids, and no-one in the family, it would seem, ever really doing much in the way of deschooling. It wasn't so much that unschooling didn't work as they never actually got there at all.
---Meredith
> > Were there previous posts? If so then I really hate Yahoo's archiveSearch under: sarahrandom78
> search. :-P
It seems that they started attempting unschooling around a year ago after troubles with school and homeschooling. There were assorted issues with husband not being supportive, family and friends pushing schooly stuff at the kids, and no-one in the family, it would seem, ever really doing much in the way of deschooling. It wasn't so much that unschooling didn't work as they never actually got there at all.
---Meredith
sarahrandom78
Thank you for your support. I was really struggling with unschooling, and this seems like a good compromise. It was partly my daughters idea, because her friend also goes to this school. They offer video editing and animation classes, which is what she is really into, and now she has someone who can teach her how to do those things, as I'm not all that talented in that area. She had been asking for awhile to take such classes and now she has the opportunity. Also, my son has the opportunity this way to meet some kids closer to his age, since before he didn't want to go anywhere, but would complain endlessly about being bored. I think that "I" am not cut out for unschooling, not because of the relationship I want to have with my kids, but because of my own lack of being able to "help" them find interesting things to do. They were spending most days being bored, and I could never seem to find a way to help them with that. Over the summer, we will try again, but for now, this is working great for us, and really that's all I want. They all seem to get along so much better now that they have a few hours apart in the day. They get home and they play so much better together, and their interaction with me has improved as well.
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
>
> sarah taylor <bdb1978@> wrote:
> > Unschooling wasn't going great for us
>
> It was pretty clear from your previous posts that you were struggling with it. While making a different set of choices may not be your ideal, if it sets your family up for more peace and joy, that's a good thing! Best wishes on your endeavors as a schooling family!
>
> ---Meredith
>
plaidpanties666
<plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
I'm replying to my own comment b/c someone asked me, off list, how one would know if they're "getting it" - and while I don't mind the occasional off-list exchance its a good question for the list as a whole and I'd like to give others a chance to chime in, without putting anyone "on the spot".
I'll start with a link to Kelly Lovejoy's classic essay on the stages of unschooling:
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/stages
I think people tend to jump in to unschooling in hopes of being able to "skip ahead" as it were - to have it allllllll start happening naturally and organically and just flow... and that can actually get in the way of deschooling and keep unschooling from ever really happening, especially with older kids.
Something to ask yourself is: are things getting harder or easier, **overall?** Going more smoothly? I know there are ups and downs in deschooling - in life! But there's not much point striving for unschooling if most of what its doing is stressing out the family. It's less important to "get there" in terms of being "all the way" unschoolers and more important to grow together as a family, wherever that may lead y'all. (And in a way, that's moving closer to the spirit of unschooling anyway ;))
In deschooling, there's often a phase where kids are doing fine - are much, much happier than before even if they seem to be floundering a little - but parents are in a tizzy, overwhelmed with What Ifs and Oh My Goshes and if they can't move past those fears quickly it becomes veeeerrrrry tempting to grab at something solid and familiar - like school or a curriculum, because those feel safe.
What else to do in that kind of situation is hard to say - it depends soooooo much on the kids, really, so that's the "short answer": focus on connecting with the kids and meeting their needs. Of course with older kids, those needs become less obvious, too. It may help to do more strewing - offer new and different things rather than going solely on established interests - or it may help to get out of the house more for a while, or it may help to spend more time "nesting" - reading together or watching tv or playing video games, even if its not the most exciting sort of life for a time, just to focus on connecting.
---Meredith
>It wasn't so much that unschooling didn't work as they never actually got there at all.****************
I'm replying to my own comment b/c someone asked me, off list, how one would know if they're "getting it" - and while I don't mind the occasional off-list exchance its a good question for the list as a whole and I'd like to give others a chance to chime in, without putting anyone "on the spot".
I'll start with a link to Kelly Lovejoy's classic essay on the stages of unschooling:
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/stages
I think people tend to jump in to unschooling in hopes of being able to "skip ahead" as it were - to have it allllllll start happening naturally and organically and just flow... and that can actually get in the way of deschooling and keep unschooling from ever really happening, especially with older kids.
Something to ask yourself is: are things getting harder or easier, **overall?** Going more smoothly? I know there are ups and downs in deschooling - in life! But there's not much point striving for unschooling if most of what its doing is stressing out the family. It's less important to "get there" in terms of being "all the way" unschoolers and more important to grow together as a family, wherever that may lead y'all. (And in a way, that's moving closer to the spirit of unschooling anyway ;))
In deschooling, there's often a phase where kids are doing fine - are much, much happier than before even if they seem to be floundering a little - but parents are in a tizzy, overwhelmed with What Ifs and Oh My Goshes and if they can't move past those fears quickly it becomes veeeerrrrry tempting to grab at something solid and familiar - like school or a curriculum, because those feel safe.
What else to do in that kind of situation is hard to say - it depends soooooo much on the kids, really, so that's the "short answer": focus on connecting with the kids and meeting their needs. Of course with older kids, those needs become less obvious, too. It may help to do more strewing - offer new and different things rather than going solely on established interests - or it may help to get out of the house more for a while, or it may help to spend more time "nesting" - reading together or watching tv or playing video games, even if its not the most exciting sort of life for a time, just to focus on connecting.
---Meredith
sarahrandom78
Yeah, I brought some of my struggles here, but as I said before a big part of the problem is my own lack of planning. I have a really hard time finding things to do that appeal to the kids, it always seems that they complain about everything I plan, even when it's something I really think they'd be interested in such as going to the pool. They have fun once we get there, but I'd have to force them to go and I thought that was going against the basic principle of unschooling. Either way, there has been way more joy and way less tension in our house since they started at this charter school. As I said, it's only two days a week, my son's class is a basic kindergarten, but with lot's of fun things to do, and my daughter has classes like science that she goes on and on about excitedly, and animation classes and a books and cooks class where you read a story and cook a meal. They LOVE it and that was the point, if they had hated it after giving it a fair try (not just the general "we don't want to leave the house, so we don't like it") I would have let them quit. I realize I'm not a "traditional" unschooler, however I am still trying. I'm trying to work around my ADHD and inability to plan things, this charter school makes up where I lack, and I think that's a good thing. I want my kids to have a rich life, not one where they complain about sitting around all day, but their mom doesn't know how to meet their needs.
--- In [email protected], Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:
>
>
> On Feb 11, 2011, at 3:03 PM, sarah taylor wrote:
>
> > Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymore
> > because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types
> > of
> > "fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a
> > museum etc.
> > all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house.
>
> Thank you Nance for what you said! I kept spinning my wheels ;-)
>
> Just as a more general statement for anyone reading: Unschooling isn't
> for everyone.
>
> I do firmly believe exploration of interests can work for every child.
> But, the children need the environment that matches their needs. For
> example, if they learn best riffing off other people with similar
> ideas and a family can't get them connected and some other program
> can, it's better for the kids to connect than to put some ideal of
> unschooling ahead of the kids.
>
> That's going to scare some people. Some people will worry if they've
> got what it takes to unschool. And it won't help anyone if people
> sooth those worries with platitudes of "You'll do fine!" when they
> have no knowledge of the situation to back that up.
>
> Worry's not good though! But questioning it definitely is. If there
> are parts that aren't working, do bring it here and unschoolers can
> look at it with fresh eyes and give you suggestions.
>
> > DD age 11 would sit in
> > her room for hours on the computer and then complain that she didn't
> > "do"
> > anything all day, complain that she was bored, but no matter what I
> > would
> > suggest, that didn't sound like fun, and she couldn't seem to think up
> > anything on her own either.
>
>
> With some kids, doing is better than suggesting. For them, choices
> often don't sound nearly as appealing as going along with plans that
> are already in motion. Kathryn is very much like that.
>
> > Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymore
> > because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types
> > of
> > "fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a
> > museum etc.
> > all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house.
>
>
> Did you bring any of your difficulties here for analysis?
>
> I understand not everyone likes to put themselves under the microscope
> but I think it doesn't help people understand what makes unschooling
> work and not work if people struggle alone, give up and then
> *publicly* declare unschooling wasn't working.
>
> No one should be trying to figure this out on their own. That's a
> school thing! It's okay to work together in groups. It's how people in
> the real world solve problems! ;-)
>
> I'm glad you found something that's working for you. But if anyone's
> struggling to make these ideas work, do, please ask! Maybe people will
> come up with ways of looking at it that you're not able to see because
> you're too close to the problem, too close to the personalities
> involved.
>
> Joyce
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
sarahrandom78
No, it was REALLY not working for her, (DD age 11) in fact it was probably working for her the least. I don't think ANYTHING fits EVERYONE. My three year old DD is a social butterfly who is happiest surrounded by an audience of adoring fans (kids and adults) She is doing great in preschool because at home her siblings wanted to be left alone and mom was only one person, so even though I could sit and be entertained by her for hours, she craved more "kid" interaction. I would sometimes watch my friends daughter for 3 days in a row just so my DD would have someone to play with. I would happily go to park days or some other such event, but my older two HATE stuff like that, so how do you make everyone happy? I could get a sitter, but they REALLY hate having a sitter, plus I can't afford that right now (we just had a major financial setback, so sitters are not an option right now) This charter school offered a lot of things that my oldest was interested in, animation classes, cooking classes, and science classes. Originally I was just going to enroll her, but my son was jealous that both his sisters were going to school and he wasn't so I signed him up too. So far they are loving it, and so am I. If there comes a time that they truly don't want to go anymore, then we will do something else. I am still very flexible, I want them to be happy. Life at home was not happy, no matter how I tried to make it happy everyone was butting heads and arguing all the time. I think because of the kids age difference, a little separation a couple times a week has been a great thing. Maybe your families are different and that's OK, we all have different personalities.
--- In [email protected], "JJ" <jrossedd@...> wrote:
>
> It's too bad though, if this doesn't actually fit everyone, if the 11-year-old daughter (with whom the unschooling philosophy HAD been working for?) gradually faced the forced choice between a charter or being not-so-happily home with two preschool siblings and a mom who couldn't succesfully unschool with them . . .
>
> --- In [email protected], "marbleface@" <marbleface@> wrote:
> >
> > Well, good for you and them. We have to do what actually fits our actual families. Not try to stick with a philosophy that isn't working for anyone.
> >
> > Nance
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In [email protected], sarah taylor <bdb1978@> wrote:
> > >
> > > My kids just started a charter school last week where they go 2 days a week.
> > > The classes are elective type classes. One is books and cooks, where they
> > > get to cook in the class. One is literature through the seasons, where they
> > > are creating a book for the end of the year. My son's class is just a
> > > mini-kindergarten class. Unschooling wasn't going great for us anymore
> > > because the kids seemed to want "something" and no matter what types of
> > > "fun" things I tried to do i.e going to the beach, the pool, a museum etc.
> > > all it ever seemed to be was a battle in my house. DD age 11 would sit in
> > > her room for hours on the computer and then complain that she didn't "do"
> > > anything all day, complain that she was bored, but no matter what I would
> > > suggest, that didn't sound like fun, and she couldn't seem to think up
> > > anything on her own either. My son age 5, would play the Wii all day, and
> > > meltdown anytime someone else wanted the TV (we have multiple TV's but the
> > > Wii is on the bigscreen, and even though we offered to put movies on the
> > > other TV or the Wii on the other TV, everyone would just end up arguing over
> > > the big TV) UGH!!! I finally decided that something had to change and found
> > > this charter school. It was gone into with the attitude that if they don't
> > > like it and want to quit, they absolutely can, but so far so good. My
> > > youngest also just started at a preschool where they use the Reggio Emilia
> > > approach. I decided to start her there because she is so social and she
> > > loves it. She may be the one of my children who really likes school and
> > > wants to go to a regular school and that will have to be OK with me. I loved
> > > school when I was in school so maybe she just takes after me. If she starts
> > > not wanting to go though, that will be fine too.
> > >
> > >
> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> > >
> >
>
plaidpanties666
"sarahrandom78" <bdb1978@...> wrote:
Unschooling isn't just one thing, though - its figuring out what individuals need, and that's going to be different for everyone. Its not "bad" that you've struggled to understand and meet your kids needs, but that's also not the same as saying "unschooling didn't work". You haven't figured it out, yet. If you were trying to change the alternator on your car and couldn't get the new one installed (on my car, for instance, you have to remove the water pump and disconnect something else and the bolts *always* stick and then there's the belt to retighten...) you wouldn't say "this car doesn't work for me" but you might say "this isn't something I can handle".
It can take a lot of organization and creativity! And with kids far apart in age, it can feel like you're going in three directions at once. It was challenging when Ray and Mo were younger and both wanted to do very different things with their days.
Can you send your little one to park days with another family rather than hauling the older two out of the house so much? Alternately, can you bring more of "home" along with you - dvds and computers are good for that. Or can the eldest stay home alone an you only have two for an outting? Breaking up a three-some is often a good strategy.
Meeting teens and adults who want to hang with your kids involves getting away from schoolish gatherings, though, and looking for other kinds of social opportunities to meet people.
You're welcome to go on reading on this list, and asking for unschooling advice, but it isn't the place to ask how to integrate school and unschooling. The advice you'll get will be how to unschool more fully and freely, and that may not be what you need!
---Meredith
>*****************
> No, it was REALLY not working for her, (DD age 11) in fact it was probably working for her the least. I don't think ANYTHING fits EVERYONE.
Unschooling isn't just one thing, though - its figuring out what individuals need, and that's going to be different for everyone. Its not "bad" that you've struggled to understand and meet your kids needs, but that's also not the same as saying "unschooling didn't work". You haven't figured it out, yet. If you were trying to change the alternator on your car and couldn't get the new one installed (on my car, for instance, you have to remove the water pump and disconnect something else and the bolts *always* stick and then there's the belt to retighten...) you wouldn't say "this car doesn't work for me" but you might say "this isn't something I can handle".
>> My three year old DD is a social butterflyFinding non-school social opportunities for kids is a perennial challenge of homeschoolers everywhere. If there aren't a lot of homeschoolers in your area, that makes it even harder.
>>I would happily go to park days or some other such event, but my older two HATE stuff like that, so how do you make everyone happy?*************
It can take a lot of organization and creativity! And with kids far apart in age, it can feel like you're going in three directions at once. It was challenging when Ray and Mo were younger and both wanted to do very different things with their days.
Can you send your little one to park days with another family rather than hauling the older two out of the house so much? Alternately, can you bring more of "home" along with you - dvds and computers are good for that. Or can the eldest stay home alone an you only have two for an outting? Breaking up a three-some is often a good strategy.
>>they REALLY hate having a sitterFinding adult and teen playmates has been a better option than a sitter for my kids. Not many kids want a "sitter" - someone who is there Only for the money, and doesn't really give a hoot about the children, bleh, what a wretched custom! But an older playmate (even an older playmate who is being given financial support or compensation) can make for a great day.
Meeting teens and adults who want to hang with your kids involves getting away from schoolish gatherings, though, and looking for other kinds of social opportunities to meet people.
You're welcome to go on reading on this list, and asking for unschooling advice, but it isn't the place to ask how to integrate school and unschooling. The advice you'll get will be how to unschool more fully and freely, and that may not be what you need!
---Meredith
plaidpanties666
"sarahrandom78" <bdb1978@...> wrote:
Some older kids Don't adjust well to unschooling - it comes too late, after they've been too deeply seeped in "you need an education" to be able to see learning in all its fullness. For those kids, unschooling is at best a rest... and at worst they'll feel like mom and dad have "dropped the ball" and aren't caring enough to "make" their kids pursue the education they supposedly need.
---Meredith
>************
> No, it was REALLY not working for her, (DD age 11) in fact it was probably working for her the least.>
Some older kids Don't adjust well to unschooling - it comes too late, after they've been too deeply seeped in "you need an education" to be able to see learning in all its fullness. For those kids, unschooling is at best a rest... and at worst they'll feel like mom and dad have "dropped the ball" and aren't caring enough to "make" their kids pursue the education they supposedly need.
---Meredith
Bun
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
>>We had homeschool gym time today and tried to work it out so everyone got to do what they liked. My oldest (13) stayed home to meet her friends (who had a half day at school) and my 9 yr old son brought along his Nintendo DS as he just got a new game and has been into playing it. My son played his DS for a long while and then joined the end of a kickball game. My five yr old got to see and play with her best friend and my two yr old and I got to hang out a bit as well. Laurie
> ...Alternately, can you bring more of "home" along with you - dvds and computers are good for that. Or can the eldest stay home alone an you only have two for an outting? ...>