Tina Tarbutton

I've been unschooling for over a year now . . . probably close to 2
years. Last night I went on a web stumble due to insomnia (I love
love love stumbleupon.com). One of the topics I frequently stumble is
homeschooling.

I came across quite a few blogs this time. Some homeschooling, some
unschooling, some radical unschooling. I found myself completely
astonished at the way parents were reacting to their children. One
parent had a list of rules that included "No eating without express
permission" and in another post she talked about playing "kitchen
nazi" to keep the kids from eating during non-meal times.

I remember being that mom, but it seems so odd to me now.

She discussed the 3 hour battle she had with her son to get him to eat
4 green beans. She did win in the end, but only after having her
other kids bake, and then eat cookies in front of the "offender" so he
would eat his veggies.

I remember the food stand-offs, but they seem so distant and I'm
amazed at my reactions to posts like that. I'm horrified by the idea
of having a stand-off over something as wonderful as food. But I did
that, I was that mom, in the past.

I find myself wondering how someone thinks it's logical to dismiss a
child's wishes, then wonder why that child doesn't listen to mom's
wishes. But I was that mom, in the past.

This unschooling journey has opened my eyes up SO much.

I also see it in my partner. We fought over unschooling when I first
brought it up. Now when friends of hers call with problems they're
having with their kids, I hear her telling them about homeschooling,
unschooling and even radical unschooling as a way to fix those
problems.

It's not just my wonderful child who is learning more because of
unschooling. We are too.

Tina

Nancy Valimaki

"It's not just my wonderful child who is learning more because of
unschooling. We are too."

This ripple effect has been a wonderful surprise and journey for our family, as well. We keep evolving!

Nancy

plaidpanties666

Tina Tarbutton <tina.tarbutton@...> wrote:
>> It's not just my wonderful child who is learning more because of
> unschooling. We are too.

There's a collection of "unexpected benefits" of unschooling here:
http://sandradodd.com/unexpected

Food wasn't something I fought over with Ray in part because he was really laid back where food was concerned. He would complain that he disliked food, but he would never not-eat something. I didn't know much about unschooling at that point - just the sort of popular alternative community stories of kids left to run wild, and I didn't want that, although I did want something gentler than the authoritative parenting I knew. I remember patting myself on the back for making Ray count to fifty for running in the house - hey, two lessons at once! <shudder> It's both painful and embarrassing to look back on the ideas I had, ideas I thought were all about respecting children but were really about respecting a fantasy of what children could be moulded into.

The idea that I didn't have to be the gatekeeper of truth and justice for my children was a revelation to me.

---Meredith

[email protected]

What an encouraging post! Thanks for sharing.

And, fwiw, my DH is the biggest unschooling booster yet. :) He attends some family function and I end up getting calls and emails wanting more info.

Nance


--- In [email protected], Tina Tarbutton <tina.tarbutton@...> wrote:
>
> I've been unschooling for over a year now . . . probably close to 2
> years. Last night I went on a web stumble due to insomnia (I love
> love love stumbleupon.com). One of the topics I frequently stumble is
> homeschooling.
>
> I came across quite a few blogs this time. Some homeschooling, some
> unschooling, some radical unschooling. I found myself completely
> astonished at the way parents were reacting to their children. One
> parent had a list of rules that included "No eating without express
> permission" and in another post she talked about playing "kitchen
> nazi" to keep the kids from eating during non-meal times.
>
> I remember being that mom, but it seems so odd to me now.
>
> She discussed the 3 hour battle she had with her son to get him to eat
> 4 green beans. She did win in the end, but only after having her
> other kids bake, and then eat cookies in front of the "offender" so he
> would eat his veggies.
>
> I remember the food stand-offs, but they seem so distant and I'm
> amazed at my reactions to posts like that. I'm horrified by the idea
> of having a stand-off over something as wonderful as food. But I did
> that, I was that mom, in the past.
>
> I find myself wondering how someone thinks it's logical to dismiss a
> child's wishes, then wonder why that child doesn't listen to mom's
> wishes. But I was that mom, in the past.
>
> This unschooling journey has opened my eyes up SO much.
>
> I also see it in my partner. We fought over unschooling when I first
> brought it up. Now when friends of hers call with problems they're
> having with their kids, I hear her telling them about homeschooling,
> unschooling and even radical unschooling as a way to fix those
> problems.
>
> It's not just my wonderful child who is learning more because of
> unschooling. We are too.
>
> Tina
>