Unschool-friendly Counselors/Therapists
AlkireyS
For a short while I have been in counseling for depression, and quite recently I have been discussing my school experiences with my counselor. I think my school experience is/has played a very large role in the development of my problem. But I do not think she can help me heal from my school experiences, she disagrees with unschooling philosophy, when I bring it up she has a distorted idea of schooling. She is very set on me going to school, "finishing what I started", even if I completely disagree with this philosophy. We had a long discussion about what schooling means to me, and she is very anti-unschooling, and wants me to put up with things that make me severely unhappy -- just for the sake of completing it. I don't get why she is telling me that it is Ok, and even a positive thing, to continue with something that hurts you! (And I think fuels the disorder) It just doesn't make sense and does not sound healthy at all.
Her attitude makes me feel very annoyed and quite frankly, stepped on. I am not sure I am comfortable with her counseling me when she disagrees with me on everything and my decisions, just the very core of how I believe life should be lived. I think she believes I have control issues and school is just another thing I want to control. She also seems to be very of the belief that school did not cause my problems but growing up, and relations to my classmates, are the root. I am not going to argue with that but, I know school played a greater part in it, and the differences in opinion may hinder my progression in counseling with her.
So, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on coming to terms with their past school experiences through counseling. I am currently a senior in high school, homeschooling part-time through a compromise with my parents. While I am very unhappy with my place in life, how people treat me, and my educational situation, I am trying to battle with this depression issue and get on with my life. In fact, I'd like to just be content in life, but with depression you cannot see that some day you may be content. I feel like I will be miserable forever. I am finally taking the step to get help for this problem but it's hard when I can't find anyone to take me seriously.
Should I continue with this counselor (I've seen her for five sessions) or try to find a different counselor? Is there a way to find one who is familiar with unschooling?
Now that I'm legally old enough to drop out, I could take that route, but I don't want to get kicked out. I do not know anywhere I would go. That scares me to death. "I'm just desperate for some peace in my life."
Thanks for any advice
Her attitude makes me feel very annoyed and quite frankly, stepped on. I am not sure I am comfortable with her counseling me when she disagrees with me on everything and my decisions, just the very core of how I believe life should be lived. I think she believes I have control issues and school is just another thing I want to control. She also seems to be very of the belief that school did not cause my problems but growing up, and relations to my classmates, are the root. I am not going to argue with that but, I know school played a greater part in it, and the differences in opinion may hinder my progression in counseling with her.
So, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on coming to terms with their past school experiences through counseling. I am currently a senior in high school, homeschooling part-time through a compromise with my parents. While I am very unhappy with my place in life, how people treat me, and my educational situation, I am trying to battle with this depression issue and get on with my life. In fact, I'd like to just be content in life, but with depression you cannot see that some day you may be content. I feel like I will be miserable forever. I am finally taking the step to get help for this problem but it's hard when I can't find anyone to take me seriously.
Should I continue with this counselor (I've seen her for five sessions) or try to find a different counselor? Is there a way to find one who is familiar with unschooling?
Now that I'm legally old enough to drop out, I could take that route, but I don't want to get kicked out. I do not know anywhere I would go. That scares me to death. "I'm just desperate for some peace in my life."
Thanks for any advice
Joyce Fetteroll
On Dec 14, 2010, at 12:43 AM, AlkireyS wrote:
short, yes find a different counselor. You can interview them first.
You could pose the scenarios that have come up with your current
counselor and ask what advice they would give. Counselors don't want
someone who is a bad fit any more than you do.
school student some places you can take classes for free as an
alternative to high school. ("Some college" looks good on resumes.)
There's also the GED. But, again, depends on the state. Some states
don't let you take it until a year or two out of high school.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Should I continue with this counselor (I've seen her for fiveI hope someone will come along with more detailed advice, but in
> sessions) or try to find a different counselor? Is there a way to
> find one who is familiar with unschooling?
short, yes find a different counselor. You can interview them first.
You could pose the scenarios that have come up with your current
counselor and ask what advice they would give. Counselors don't want
someone who is a bad fit any more than you do.
> Now that I'm legally old enough to drop out, I could take thatWhat about community college? Depends on the state, but as a high
> route, but I don't want to get kicked out. I do not know anywhere I
> would go. That scares me to death. "I'm just desperate for some
> peace in my life."
school student some places you can take classes for free as an
alternative to high school. ("Some college" looks good on resumes.)
There's also the GED. But, again, depends on the state. Some states
don't let you take it until a year or two out of high school.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tessa
I finished 1 year of college, so again there is the "when are you going to finish what you started?" question for that also. There is so much pressure on me right now to do many things I have no desire to do.
On Dec 14, 2010, at 5:16 AM, Joyce Fetteroll wrote:
>
> On Dec 14, 2010, at 12:43 AM, AlkireyS wrote:
>
> > Should I continue with this counselor (I've seen her for five
> > sessions) or try to find a different counselor? Is there a way to
> > find one who is familiar with unschooling?
>
> I hope someone will come along with more detailed advice, but in
> short, yes find a different counselor. You can interview them first.
> You could pose the scenarios that have come up with your current
> counselor and ask what advice they would give. Counselors don't want
> someone who is a bad fit any more than you do.
>
> > Now that I'm legally old enough to drop out, I could take that
> > route, but I don't want to get kicked out. I do not know anywhere I
> > would go. That scares me to death. "I'm just desperate for some
> > peace in my life."
>
> What about community college? Depends on the state, but as a high
> school student some places you can take classes for free as an
> alternative to high school. ("Some college" looks good on resumes.)
>
> There's also the GED. But, again, depends on the state. Some states
> don't let you take it until a year or two out of high school.
>
> Joyce
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Marie
Hi,
First I just want to say that you sound like an awesome, thoughtful person. I would suspect that you are probably right that the school system/structure is not a good fit with you and that it has played a part in where you are at right now. But, hey, you are questioning things, and that is great. I think that you are probably at the start of a road to new places. I don't know that I can offer too much advice. I am fairly new to unschooling. My son is 13. Unschooling is a difficult concept to grasp for many people, professionals included. So I can't say that I am surprised at what you are being advised to do. I hope that you will not be pressured into finishing what you started. Sounds like you need some time to just chill and not worry about anyone's expectations for awhile.
Below is a link to an blog by an unschooler, around age 19 perhaps. Her name is Idzie and she is from Montreal. I met her at an unschooling workship in Toronto. She's pretty cool. I thought it might be a good resource for you as she is around the same age as you. She is on youtube also. If you search for "Idzie" in youtube, some of her videos pop up - she just talks about unschooling stuff. She was unschooled all of her life pretty much. There is a great summer camp for unschooling teenagers that is raved about by the few teens that I met. Sounds like a real turn-around point for lots of kids that go.
http://yes-i-can-write.blogspot.com/
Regarding finding a counselor that is in tune with unschooling - I hope you find one somehow - you should be able to, but you'll really have to search I expect, but it will be worth the search.
Below is a link to a book that I read. I seem to think that at the back there were some names of other psychologists that were in line with her ideas. The book was not about unschooling, but she did recommend homeschooling as a good option.
http://www.hsperson.com/index.html
Take care & hang in there!
Marie
From: AlkireyS
Sent: Tuesday, December 14, 2010 12:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Unschool-friendly Counselors/Therapists
For a short while I have been in counseling for depression, and quite recently I have been discussing my school experiences with my counselor. I think my school experience is/has played a very large role in the development of my problem. But I do not think she can help me heal from my school experiences, she disagrees with unschooling philosophy, when I bring it up she has a distorted idea of schooling. She is very set on me going to school, "finishing what I started", even if I completely disagree with this philosophy. We had a long discussion about what schooling means to me, and she is very anti-unschooling, and wants me to put up with things that make me severely unhappy -- just for the sake of completing it. I don't get why she is telling me that it is Ok, and even a positive thing, to continue with something that hurts you! (And I think fuels the disorder) It just doesn't make sense and does not sound healthy at all.
Her attitude makes me feel very annoyed and quite frankly, stepped on. I am not sure I am comfortable with her counseling me when she disagrees with me on everything and my decisions, just the very core of how I believe life should be lived. I think she believes I have control issues and school is just another thing I want to control. She also seems to be very of the belief that school did not cause my problems but growing up, and relations to my classmates, are the root. I am not going to argue with that but, I know school played a greater part in it, and the differences in opinion may hinder my progression in counseling with her.
So, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on coming to terms with their past school experiences through counseling. I am currently a senior in high school, homeschooling part-time through a compromise with my parents. While I am very unhappy with my place in life, how people treat me, and my educational situation, I am trying to battle with this depression issue and get on with my life. In fact, I'd like to just be content in life, but with depression you cannot see that some day you may be content. I feel like I will be miserable forever. I am finally taking the step to get help for this problem but it's hard when I can't find anyone to take me seriously.
Should I continue with this counselor (I've seen her for five sessions) or try to find a different counselor? Is there a way to find one who is familiar with unschooling?
Now that I'm legally old enough to drop out, I could take that route, but I don't want to get kicked out. I do not know anywhere I would go. That scares me to death. "I'm just desperate for some peace in my life."
Thanks for any advice
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
First I just want to say that you sound like an awesome, thoughtful person. I would suspect that you are probably right that the school system/structure is not a good fit with you and that it has played a part in where you are at right now. But, hey, you are questioning things, and that is great. I think that you are probably at the start of a road to new places. I don't know that I can offer too much advice. I am fairly new to unschooling. My son is 13. Unschooling is a difficult concept to grasp for many people, professionals included. So I can't say that I am surprised at what you are being advised to do. I hope that you will not be pressured into finishing what you started. Sounds like you need some time to just chill and not worry about anyone's expectations for awhile.
Below is a link to an blog by an unschooler, around age 19 perhaps. Her name is Idzie and she is from Montreal. I met her at an unschooling workship in Toronto. She's pretty cool. I thought it might be a good resource for you as she is around the same age as you. She is on youtube also. If you search for "Idzie" in youtube, some of her videos pop up - she just talks about unschooling stuff. She was unschooled all of her life pretty much. There is a great summer camp for unschooling teenagers that is raved about by the few teens that I met. Sounds like a real turn-around point for lots of kids that go.
http://yes-i-can-write.blogspot.com/
Regarding finding a counselor that is in tune with unschooling - I hope you find one somehow - you should be able to, but you'll really have to search I expect, but it will be worth the search.
Below is a link to a book that I read. I seem to think that at the back there were some names of other psychologists that were in line with her ideas. The book was not about unschooling, but she did recommend homeschooling as a good option.
http://www.hsperson.com/index.html
Take care & hang in there!
Marie
From: AlkireyS
Sent: Tuesday, December 14, 2010 12:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Unschool-friendly Counselors/Therapists
For a short while I have been in counseling for depression, and quite recently I have been discussing my school experiences with my counselor. I think my school experience is/has played a very large role in the development of my problem. But I do not think she can help me heal from my school experiences, she disagrees with unschooling philosophy, when I bring it up she has a distorted idea of schooling. She is very set on me going to school, "finishing what I started", even if I completely disagree with this philosophy. We had a long discussion about what schooling means to me, and she is very anti-unschooling, and wants me to put up with things that make me severely unhappy -- just for the sake of completing it. I don't get why she is telling me that it is Ok, and even a positive thing, to continue with something that hurts you! (And I think fuels the disorder) It just doesn't make sense and does not sound healthy at all.
Her attitude makes me feel very annoyed and quite frankly, stepped on. I am not sure I am comfortable with her counseling me when she disagrees with me on everything and my decisions, just the very core of how I believe life should be lived. I think she believes I have control issues and school is just another thing I want to control. She also seems to be very of the belief that school did not cause my problems but growing up, and relations to my classmates, are the root. I am not going to argue with that but, I know school played a greater part in it, and the differences in opinion may hinder my progression in counseling with her.
So, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on coming to terms with their past school experiences through counseling. I am currently a senior in high school, homeschooling part-time through a compromise with my parents. While I am very unhappy with my place in life, how people treat me, and my educational situation, I am trying to battle with this depression issue and get on with my life. In fact, I'd like to just be content in life, but with depression you cannot see that some day you may be content. I feel like I will be miserable forever. I am finally taking the step to get help for this problem but it's hard when I can't find anyone to take me seriously.
Should I continue with this counselor (I've seen her for five sessions) or try to find a different counselor? Is there a way to find one who is familiar with unschooling?
Now that I'm legally old enough to drop out, I could take that route, but I don't want to get kicked out. I do not know anywhere I would go. That scares me to death. "I'm just desperate for some peace in my life."
Thanks for any advice
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Dec 14, 2010, at 1:25 PM, Tessa wrote:
what they believe and only want to make you believe it too.
But it's very helpful that you can see what is good for you and what
is getting in the way. That's a huge step in the right direction. Even
if everyone is trying to turn you around, it's much better than not
know what direction you want to be heading and trying to figure it out
from everyone else's ideas on the "right" way to head.
Having a goal of finishing is of limited usefulness. It's a good goal
when the *point* is to finish. Like finishing a marathon. Like getting
to the top of the mountain. Like breaking someone's record.
But finishing for the point of finishing doesn't help if what you're
working on is taking more than it's returning. It's a good skill to
develop a sense of when something is sucking up more time and money
and energy than it can return. That time, money and energy could be
better spent on something or somethings that will return more value
for the cost.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I finished 1 year of college, so again there is the "when are youIt's never helpful to be surrounded by people who aren't questioning
> going to finish what you started?" question for that also. There is
> so much pressure on me right now to do many things I have no desire
> to do.
what they believe and only want to make you believe it too.
But it's very helpful that you can see what is good for you and what
is getting in the way. That's a huge step in the right direction. Even
if everyone is trying to turn you around, it's much better than not
know what direction you want to be heading and trying to figure it out
from everyone else's ideas on the "right" way to head.
Having a goal of finishing is of limited usefulness. It's a good goal
when the *point* is to finish. Like finishing a marathon. Like getting
to the top of the mountain. Like breaking someone's record.
But finishing for the point of finishing doesn't help if what you're
working on is taking more than it's returning. It's a good skill to
develop a sense of when something is sucking up more time and money
and energy than it can return. That time, money and energy could be
better spent on something or somethings that will return more value
for the cost.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lisa Platt
i know of an unschool friendly counsellor in my area...where do you live? i may be able to get a referral from her of someone in your area.
LR
If it were me I would find a different therapist. In my experience, a
therapists job is supposed to help their client find the answers that
work for the client not to push their own agenda on their client. Is it
possible to say to the therapist what you stated here?
I hope you find someone near you who will support you. It seems from you
post that you have a lot of insight into yourself. Are you interested in
some book titles that helped me when I was dealing with depression?
Are you worried you will get kicked out if you leave school?
As a thought, depending on your situation and what goals you have in
your life, would you be interested in exploring opportunities outside of
traditional schooling? I attended a Job Corps at one point and there was
another associated program where youth were working in national parks
and were provided housing, food and a small stipend. No one got rich
doing it but it was an alternative to regular schooling. I can't recall
the name of the other program but I will do some digging and see if I
can find the information if that is something you would like to explore.
I do hope you find someone who will support you. For a while I got
support from a group of people with Emotions Anonymous. It is a bit 12
step-ish but the people there were more willing to support me where I
was rather than get me to be like them. Just a thought.
LisaR
therapists job is supposed to help their client find the answers that
work for the client not to push their own agenda on their client. Is it
possible to say to the therapist what you stated here?
I hope you find someone near you who will support you. It seems from you
post that you have a lot of insight into yourself. Are you interested in
some book titles that helped me when I was dealing with depression?
Are you worried you will get kicked out if you leave school?
As a thought, depending on your situation and what goals you have in
your life, would you be interested in exploring opportunities outside of
traditional schooling? I attended a Job Corps at one point and there was
another associated program where youth were working in national parks
and were provided housing, food and a small stipend. No one got rich
doing it but it was an alternative to regular schooling. I can't recall
the name of the other program but I will do some digging and see if I
can find the information if that is something you would like to explore.
I do hope you find someone who will support you. For a while I got
support from a group of people with Emotions Anonymous. It is a bit 12
step-ish but the people there were more willing to support me where I
was rather than get me to be like them. Just a thought.
LisaR