XP: Intro and a question to unschoolers
catfish_friend
I have been lurking on and off and wanted to introduce myself.
My name is Ceci and our family lives in Venice, CA.
We have two girls ages 4 and 1.5.
We practice an eclectic approach to parenting including RIE, AP, NVC, EC and appreciate the Waldorf approach to a whole child education. Our 4 year old currently attends a "preschool" where she is free to explore and play with other 3-5 year olds in an organic edible garden or the heated pool or with the chickens or the two wonderful "teachers" who are there to mostly make sure the children are safe physically and emotionally. The school is developmental and play-based.
As we prepare for next fall, the options for 5 year olds here in West LA are basically severely underperforming public school, lottery for mediocre to good charter school, expensive private school (20-25K/yr!) or unschool. Our inclination is to unschool if we don't find the 'right' charter, but I'm wondering how people afford to unschool.
My husband and I have downsized as much as possible to afford to have one of us home with the girls the past 4 years using savings, but we can't sustain this indefinitely, assuming one of us will need to be home to unschool, thus a one-income household when we need two.
How have people afforded to unschool? Not to mention, if you're unschooling, how much adult-only time and alone-time can a patent squeeze in?
Thanks in advance for your reply!
Peace,
Ceci
My name is Ceci and our family lives in Venice, CA.
We have two girls ages 4 and 1.5.
We practice an eclectic approach to parenting including RIE, AP, NVC, EC and appreciate the Waldorf approach to a whole child education. Our 4 year old currently attends a "preschool" where she is free to explore and play with other 3-5 year olds in an organic edible garden or the heated pool or with the chickens or the two wonderful "teachers" who are there to mostly make sure the children are safe physically and emotionally. The school is developmental and play-based.
As we prepare for next fall, the options for 5 year olds here in West LA are basically severely underperforming public school, lottery for mediocre to good charter school, expensive private school (20-25K/yr!) or unschool. Our inclination is to unschool if we don't find the 'right' charter, but I'm wondering how people afford to unschool.
My husband and I have downsized as much as possible to afford to have one of us home with the girls the past 4 years using savings, but we can't sustain this indefinitely, assuming one of us will need to be home to unschool, thus a one-income household when we need two.
How have people afforded to unschool? Not to mention, if you're unschooling, how much adult-only time and alone-time can a patent squeeze in?
Thanks in advance for your reply!
Peace,
Ceci
plaidpanties666
catfish_friend <catfish_friend@...> wrote:
Having kids at home involves learning a new set of skills for meeting your own needs as well as those of your kids. It helps to break down ideas of "adult time" and "alone time" into smaller, more specific needs. Adult time usually includes connection and conversation and sex - but those don't all have to happen together, between 9 and 1030pm ;) Learning to multi-task adult needs with kid and household needs goes a long way - flirt with your husband or chat about the day while helping your child with a puzzle or playing a game, for instance.
It also helps to shift your expectations about how much time you need "all in a row" - personal needs can be met in five-minute increments rather than hour increments, for instance. When my now-17yo was little, he was a biiiiiig talker so I learned to take deep breaths whenever I got ten seconds of quiet and relish those momemnts, rather than agonizing over the fact that I didn't have "more time". It takes practice!
---Meredith (Mo 9, Ray 17)
>>if you're unschooling, how much adult-only time and alone-time can a patent squeeze in?*************
Having kids at home involves learning a new set of skills for meeting your own needs as well as those of your kids. It helps to break down ideas of "adult time" and "alone time" into smaller, more specific needs. Adult time usually includes connection and conversation and sex - but those don't all have to happen together, between 9 and 1030pm ;) Learning to multi-task adult needs with kid and household needs goes a long way - flirt with your husband or chat about the day while helping your child with a puzzle or playing a game, for instance.
It also helps to shift your expectations about how much time you need "all in a row" - personal needs can be met in five-minute increments rather than hour increments, for instance. When my now-17yo was little, he was a biiiiiig talker so I learned to take deep breaths whenever I got ten seconds of quiet and relish those momemnts, rather than agonizing over the fact that I didn't have "more time". It takes practice!
> How have people afforded to unschool?We cut our expenses back to a bare minimum, in my family. We do a lot of budgetting for kid-interests and try to spread expenses out as much as we can. We also make use of gifts from extended family and our annual tax return for big-ticket expenses like travel.
---Meredith (Mo 9, Ray 17)
Kelly Lovejoy
Unschoolers are remarkably resourceful.
What are your talents/majors/passions? How can you put them to use? Are hours flexible? Are there some things/ideas you seem not to be able to let go?
Tell us more about your circumstances. Maybe we can help you find solutions.
As a parent of a 22 year old, I'm telling you to eat up ALL the little kid time you have. Seriously. I have AAAALLLLL the adult-only time I can stand now. You can't get this tme back.
Find ways to meld the two: Picnics--outside and inside. Have massage trains: hubby massages you, you massage your 5 yr old who massages the 2 yr old, then switch.. Have tea parties. Pajama and Pizza Parties in bed or on a pallet on the den floor.
Non-melding suggestions: Flirt. Wake up earlier. Don't be confined to the bed. Hire a mother's helper to play with the kids in the backyard one early afternoon.
Resourceful and Creative need to become your buzzwords. How far out of the box can you jump?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson
-----Original Message-----
From: catfish_friend <catfish_friend@...>
My husband and I have downsized as much as possible to afford to have one of us
home with the girls the past 4 years using savings, but we can't sustain this
indefinitely, assuming one of us will need to be home to unschool, thus a
one-income household when we need two.
How have people afforded to unschool? Not to mention, if you're unschooling,
how much adult-only time and alone-time can a patent squeeze in?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What are your talents/majors/passions? How can you put them to use? Are hours flexible? Are there some things/ideas you seem not to be able to let go?
Tell us more about your circumstances. Maybe we can help you find solutions.
As a parent of a 22 year old, I'm telling you to eat up ALL the little kid time you have. Seriously. I have AAAALLLLL the adult-only time I can stand now. You can't get this tme back.
Find ways to meld the two: Picnics--outside and inside. Have massage trains: hubby massages you, you massage your 5 yr old who massages the 2 yr old, then switch.. Have tea parties. Pajama and Pizza Parties in bed or on a pallet on the den floor.
Non-melding suggestions: Flirt. Wake up earlier. Don't be confined to the bed. Hire a mother's helper to play with the kids in the backyard one early afternoon.
Resourceful and Creative need to become your buzzwords. How far out of the box can you jump?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson
-----Original Message-----
From: catfish_friend <catfish_friend@...>
My husband and I have downsized as much as possible to afford to have one of us
home with the girls the past 4 years using savings, but we can't sustain this
indefinitely, assuming one of us will need to be home to unschool, thus a
one-income household when we need two.
How have people afforded to unschool? Not to mention, if you're unschooling,
how much adult-only time and alone-time can a patent squeeze in?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kristi_beguin
>>>As we prepare for next fall, the options for 5 year olds here in West LA are ... or unschool.<<<Unschooling is one homeschooling option, but there are really many different ways to homeschool...including Waldorf methods. I certainly encourage you to learn as much as you can about unschooling as possible, but I bring it up only so you know that unschooling is not the ONLY homeschooling option.
>>>How have people afforded to unschool?<<<My husband runs a bicycle service shop from our home and I work 32 hours a week outside the home, but only 5 minutes away. We are fortunate to have both sets of Grandparents close by, who are immensely helpful and care for our girls 2 to 3 days per week. Not all day, but for portions of those 3 days. I have made it clear to my employer that I do not want to work full-time, but we are also fortunate that we are able to live on my part-time salary.
We don't eat out much, and we save cash for special things like movies, museum trips, camping/climbing adventures, and short trips to nearby states like CO and UT. We haven't taken a big trip since my youngest was born 5 years ago, but we've made do with lots of little road trips that have big adventure/fun/exploration components to them.
My girls are 8 and 5, and so their big interests are play, play, play, and so we try to indulge their dress-up, polly-pocket, hotwheels interests at Target and through garage sales. Books, movies, games, and almost anything can be purchased on Craigslist, EBay, and Amazon, or through local thrift and second hand stores.
>>>Not to mention, if you're unschooling, how much adult-only time and alone-time can a patent squeeze in?<<<My husband and I made a vow years ago that we would not abuse the fact that his parents live next door, and thus, we do not pawn our children off to them on evenings and weekends so we can do things together. Occasionally, (like once every couple months) we'll take a nice long bike ride together, or go climbing together while the girls hang out with his parents or his sister. Rarely (like on our anniversary) we'll go out to dinner together. Mostly we just enjoy going out as a family!
We try to enjoy regular intimate times in the early morning (although my girls have been waking earlier and earlier lately, which means we've been adjusting that). We also do tag-team style of doing stuff pretty regularly since we are both athletes and train for different events. One day during the weekend, I'll ride or run early morning from 6 to 9, and then he'll go out, or vice versa. I try to always squeeze in my work-out time during the work day, or in the early morning before my girls wake up. I take the dog on a walk or run every morning, but that time could easily be used for reading or writing, knitting, etc.
I think the key is being flexible and creative. It's amazing how you can initiate positive change when necessary.
catfish_friend
On Oct 5, 2010, at 9:23 AM, Kelly Lovejoy <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
Unschoolers are remarkably resourceful.
What are your talents/majors/passions? How can you put them to use? Are hours flexible? Are there some things/ideas you seem not to be able to let go?
I work in film editing and truly enjoy what I do. Unfortunately, the hours suck and the work culture in film does not acknowledge life beyond the film! I have made my own feature film as well and have unfinished documentary projects that I used to work on between paying jobs before having kids. While I think it would be easy for me to share my media savvy with younguns, mine are 4 and 1.5 and too young IMHO for sitting still and "pushing buttons" (as I define my job at times!).
While the nature of my particular job is solitary, it is also collaborative and I have a strong desire to keep both of these work-culture qualities in my life. I also appreciate being project-oriented and that each project has a beginning, middle and an end.
The thing I can't seem to let go of is if I put my energy towards unschooling my children, when will there be time for me to pursue my creative dreams? I definitely am passionate about parenting and have put everything on the backburner for this journey, but I don't want to lose balance or my sense of self in it and resent it later.
Before I met my hubby, I had planned a career change to live off of savings and just as I was about to do it, met my hubby and found out I was pregnant within a month (happy accident)! I suppose since we were not prepared to become parents, I researched like crazy to find out what kind of parenting path we wanted to take. We decided to be more involved than any other parents we know but in a way where we have given our children the space to play and grow and explore things on their own in their time, not ours. The RIE philosophy allowed us to open our minds in this way from the time our oldest was an infant and we feel unschooling is the best representation of continuing this philosophy in our childrearing.
Tell us more about your circumstances. Maybe we can help you find solutions.
I worry about burnout for my hubby and I -- not because we don't enjoy being with our girls and really knowing them -- but because we've put so much on hold to be available for them. Both our careers have taken a big backseat (we take turns working) and our bank account has suffered as a result. I never got the chance to make my career shift, but put the time and money towards being with my girls instead.
Now, the townhouse we live in has a mortgage underwater and the schools in the LA unified school district are notoriously bad. My friends who teach in it say that they would not send their own kids to school in LAUSD.
While I would LOVE to live somewhere less expensive and more rural, my hubby is a chef to the rich and famous and I work in the film industry, so we're kind of stuck here for now.
Our eldest is outgoing and self-motivated, assertive and socially mature beyond her years. We sent her to a preschool I wish I could go to everyday where they just play play play! She really thrives being in a group of other children and with other adults who treat her with respect instead of demean her as I feel most adults do to children.
My dream would be an unschooling co-op where a group of likeminded families would all live close enough to know each other well enough to unschool the kids together. So far, it seems that the comfort level amongst families we know is for playdates, but not necessarily babysitting swaps, but I could see this evolving as the kids get older, perhaps.
Financially, my work gives us health benefits that we otherwise cannot afford, but I feel that I am the more unconditionally loving parent, though recently, I've seen my husband grow in leaps and bounds in his parenting.
As a parent of a 22 year old, I'm telling you to eat up ALL the little kid time you have. Seriously. I have AAAALLLLL the adult-only time I can stand now. You can't get this tme back.
It eats me up inside to think that I'm missing out on my 1.5 year old's life right now, but someone has to pay the bills and my hubby can only make a significant amount if he's a personal chef to a rich person and they usually think and treat him like they own him!
I have wondered if we turned our talents into classes for kids who are traditionally schooled, then maybe we could see if that would generate enough income to survive. It does appear to me that the local unschooling community does most things for unschoolers for free and while that's an incredible gift, I feel we can only unschool if we find a completely new income stream incorporating unschooling.
Find ways to meld the two: Picnics--outside and inside. Have massage trains: hubby massages you, you massage your 5 yr old who massages the 2 yr old, then switch.. Have tea parties. Pajama and Pizza Parties in bed or on a pallet on the den floor.
I love these ideas! We'll have to try them out!!!
Non-melding suggestions: Flirt. Wake up earlier. Don't be confined to the bed. Hire a mother's helper to play with the kids in the backyard one early afternoon.
We are all night owls! And hubby and I are EXHAUSTED at the end of everyday. We don't have a yard or outdoor space the girls can explore, so unless we plan on being out and pack up stuff for being out, we need accessible books, toys, activities, etc. when indoors unless we want the girls to start torturing each other! Our space is small -- think living like a New Yorker but in LA! We also have no family nearby and we have one sitter who charges $$$ with a 5 hour minimum, so our uninterrupted "couple time" is costly, but sorely needed. Maybe others here can make do with small grabs of time or flirting, but I need to NOT be interrupted for a conversation to feel human every now and then. I also like to eat slowly and thoughtfully and in one sitting, not being interrupted every now and again!
Resourceful and Creative need to become your buzzwords. How far out of the box can you jump?
Resourceful and creative used to be two words that would truly describe me, but everything I've put into parenting the past 4 years has been at the cost of nurturing myself and my relationship with my husband, not to mention our checkbook! I have always considered myself to think and live outside the box, but I like the coziness and comfort of being inside every now and then, too.
I suppose another fantasy would be a situation where we found the right public school (probably a play-based charter) where our daughter could attend part-time and be unschooled the rest of the time. Weekends only seems not quite enough unschooling for my taste, but all week seems too difficult to me both practically and emotionally.
Thank you for all the feedback thus far. I truly appreciate it!
Peace,
ceci
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson
-----Original Message-----
From: catfish_friend <catfish_friend@...>
My husband and I have downsized as much as possible to afford to have one of us
home with the girls the past 4 years using savings, but we can't sustain this
indefinitely, assuming one of us will need to be home to unschool, thus a
one-income household when we need two.
How have people afforded to unschool? Not to mention, if you're unschooling,
how much adult-only time and alone-time can a patent squeeze in?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bruchko
Hi!
I am writing in response to your question of being able to afford staying home to teach your kids. I will begin by telling you our story.
About four years ago my husband was managing stores for Target. It was very rewarding financially but it demanded a lot of time. He worked 60+ hours a week and he was missing out on the kids growing up. Plus, when he was home he was tired and not interested in what was going on. We decided to make a change. We knew if he was to get a job making less money there was no way we could afford our house. So we put it on the market and started looking for something MUCH cheaper. Fortunately we were making enough at the time that we could afford to make our $1000 house payment along with a lower $350 payment. We found a house that needed some work but would be perfect for our family of five and bought it. We then waited for our house to sell. It did a year later and my husband quit his job.
Now we are both working part time and making under the poverty level. But we have never been happier with where we are. The only assistance we receive is from a grant for our Parks and Recreation programs for discounted prices. Our children are 6, 9 and 10. Here is how we do it.
1. We bought a cheaper home. After the payments we have made over the past 4 years we are now paying under $400 a month.
2. We do not have many monthly costs. The only non-utility cost we have per month is a $15 internet fee. No cell phone, no cable, no anything else.
3. We do without "extra" foods. Only rarely do we enjoy (from the store) chips, cookies, bagels, frozen food, granola bars, cereal, fruit snacks etc. We eat a simple diet of foods that are cheap, wholesome or homemade. Which brings me to my next point.
4. We make many things from scratch at home. I make bread everyday (check out Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day... it's wonderful!). We make cookies, brownies, pizza's (use spaghetti sauce for a cheap substitute), fries, chocolate syrup, granola, and many more that I would like to try but just haven't yet.
5. What we do buy is cheap. Do you have an Aldi near you? Most of what we buy is from Aldi or Sam's Club (although we don't buy much at the latter, mostly cheese and pepperoni for pizza. But their gas prices are great). Try the off brands, one can at a time, and see what your family likes.
6. Grow or pick your own food. We live right in the city but we grow raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, peppers, tomatoes, carrots, zucchini, beans, beets, radishes, eggplant, and okra. We started an herb garden and planted an apple and a peach tree this year. If you have landscaping replace some bushes with edible plants. We also pick blueberries, apples, peaches and pears. Then I freeze and can whatever possible. I do not buy any of these things from the store. We eat things in season (my kids know when strawberry actually grow), we eat it from the freezer or we do not eat it. We missed both strawberries and corn this year (my strawberry bed is new and little) so we will not be eating those things until next year. My husband hunts so we get our meat from venison and he shot one turkey last year. That's where we get our meat. We have 5 hens which is where we get our eggs. Check out your local ordinance. Many cities allow them and if they don't you could bring up that change. We also just started a bee hive and harvested our first honey this fall. It was the most delicious honey and has been a great experience. Everything we grow is local and organic, and very cheap.
7. Gas is expensive. Limit your trips with the car and bike whenever you can. Invest in a good bike and you will get your money back within a small amount of time. If you make a trip in the car, stop by every store that you need to so you don't need to go back out again. What about going down to one car? You'd save on gas, insurance, registration etc.
8. Garage sales for kids clothes. For me, I pay only 25 cents for clothes at garage sales. I stock up on items to be used in the future.
9. Utilities. For us we don't use AC in the summer (although it can get quite hot and humid in Michigan) and in the winter we keep our heat at 63 during the day and 55 at night. We just layer extra clothing for warmth. I try to hang dry as much of our laundry as I can. We do not take shorter showers... that's just one luxury we have not given up yet. :)
10. We do not go out to eat. The fun we have outside the home is basically free. We go for walks and bike rides together. My daughter and I stroll the mall or we walk downtown and check things out. If we go out to eat (very rare) we will go somewhere that the kids will eat for under $2. Mostly we have fun at home: watching movies, playing in the yard, baking.
These are my top ten ways to live cheaply. Another great book to take a look at is The Tightwad Gazette (the complete edition is best). There are other things that I am just beginning or want to do in the future such as sewing, and making more kinds of foods for my family to enjoy. I hope you can use some of the ideas I've given you. My husband and I view ourselves as semi retired since we work so little and are enjoying life so much. This is a subject I am passionate about so feel free to contact me with any questions you have.
Kim
I am writing in response to your question of being able to afford staying home to teach your kids. I will begin by telling you our story.
About four years ago my husband was managing stores for Target. It was very rewarding financially but it demanded a lot of time. He worked 60+ hours a week and he was missing out on the kids growing up. Plus, when he was home he was tired and not interested in what was going on. We decided to make a change. We knew if he was to get a job making less money there was no way we could afford our house. So we put it on the market and started looking for something MUCH cheaper. Fortunately we were making enough at the time that we could afford to make our $1000 house payment along with a lower $350 payment. We found a house that needed some work but would be perfect for our family of five and bought it. We then waited for our house to sell. It did a year later and my husband quit his job.
Now we are both working part time and making under the poverty level. But we have never been happier with where we are. The only assistance we receive is from a grant for our Parks and Recreation programs for discounted prices. Our children are 6, 9 and 10. Here is how we do it.
1. We bought a cheaper home. After the payments we have made over the past 4 years we are now paying under $400 a month.
2. We do not have many monthly costs. The only non-utility cost we have per month is a $15 internet fee. No cell phone, no cable, no anything else.
3. We do without "extra" foods. Only rarely do we enjoy (from the store) chips, cookies, bagels, frozen food, granola bars, cereal, fruit snacks etc. We eat a simple diet of foods that are cheap, wholesome or homemade. Which brings me to my next point.
4. We make many things from scratch at home. I make bread everyday (check out Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day... it's wonderful!). We make cookies, brownies, pizza's (use spaghetti sauce for a cheap substitute), fries, chocolate syrup, granola, and many more that I would like to try but just haven't yet.
5. What we do buy is cheap. Do you have an Aldi near you? Most of what we buy is from Aldi or Sam's Club (although we don't buy much at the latter, mostly cheese and pepperoni for pizza. But their gas prices are great). Try the off brands, one can at a time, and see what your family likes.
6. Grow or pick your own food. We live right in the city but we grow raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, peppers, tomatoes, carrots, zucchini, beans, beets, radishes, eggplant, and okra. We started an herb garden and planted an apple and a peach tree this year. If you have landscaping replace some bushes with edible plants. We also pick blueberries, apples, peaches and pears. Then I freeze and can whatever possible. I do not buy any of these things from the store. We eat things in season (my kids know when strawberry actually grow), we eat it from the freezer or we do not eat it. We missed both strawberries and corn this year (my strawberry bed is new and little) so we will not be eating those things until next year. My husband hunts so we get our meat from venison and he shot one turkey last year. That's where we get our meat. We have 5 hens which is where we get our eggs. Check out your local ordinance. Many cities allow them and if they don't you could bring up that change. We also just started a bee hive and harvested our first honey this fall. It was the most delicious honey and has been a great experience. Everything we grow is local and organic, and very cheap.
7. Gas is expensive. Limit your trips with the car and bike whenever you can. Invest in a good bike and you will get your money back within a small amount of time. If you make a trip in the car, stop by every store that you need to so you don't need to go back out again. What about going down to one car? You'd save on gas, insurance, registration etc.
8. Garage sales for kids clothes. For me, I pay only 25 cents for clothes at garage sales. I stock up on items to be used in the future.
9. Utilities. For us we don't use AC in the summer (although it can get quite hot and humid in Michigan) and in the winter we keep our heat at 63 during the day and 55 at night. We just layer extra clothing for warmth. I try to hang dry as much of our laundry as I can. We do not take shorter showers... that's just one luxury we have not given up yet. :)
10. We do not go out to eat. The fun we have outside the home is basically free. We go for walks and bike rides together. My daughter and I stroll the mall or we walk downtown and check things out. If we go out to eat (very rare) we will go somewhere that the kids will eat for under $2. Mostly we have fun at home: watching movies, playing in the yard, baking.
These are my top ten ways to live cheaply. Another great book to take a look at is The Tightwad Gazette (the complete edition is best). There are other things that I am just beginning or want to do in the future such as sewing, and making more kinds of foods for my family to enjoy. I hope you can use some of the ideas I've given you. My husband and I view ourselves as semi retired since we work so little and are enjoying life so much. This is a subject I am passionate about so feel free to contact me with any questions you have.
Kim
--- In [email protected], catfish_friend <catfish_friend@...> wrote:
>
> I have been lurking on and off and wanted to introduce myself.
>
> My name is Ceci and our family lives in Venice, CA.
>
> We have two girls ages 4 and 1.5.
>
> We practice an eclectic approach to parenting including RIE, AP, NVC, EC and appreciate the Waldorf approach to a whole child education. Our 4 year old currently attends a "preschool" where she is free to explore and play with other 3-5 year olds in an organic edible garden or the heated pool or with the chickens or the two wonderful "teachers" who are there to mostly make sure the children are safe physically and emotionally. The school is developmental and play-based.
>
> As we prepare for next fall, the options for 5 year olds here in West LA are basically severely underperforming public school, lottery for mediocre to good charter school, expensive private school (20-25K/yr!) or unschool. Our inclination is to unschool if we don't find the 'right' charter, but I'm wondering how people afford to unschool.
>
> My husband and I have downsized as much as possible to afford to have one of us home with the girls the past 4 years using savings, but we can't sustain this indefinitely, assuming one of us will need to be home to unschool, thus a one-income household when we need two.
>
> How have people afforded to unschool? Not to mention, if you're unschooling, how much adult-only time and alone-time can a patent squeeze in?
>
> Thanks in advance for your reply!
>
> Peace,
> Ceci
>
plaidpanties666
catfish_friend <catfish_friend@...> wrote:
Something that helped me, personally, was shifting my perspective so that I saw parenting as another career. That helped both in terms of juggling multiple kinds of work (paid and unpaid) at home and now that I've gone back into the full-time paid workforce. Step away from the idea of A Career as a sort of monolithic lifestyle and see careers as something to be passionate about For Now while also doing other things you love.
Yes, while kids are little they need a Lot of time and care, but that does change. Its well worth savoring the handful of years of intense full-time commitment that little ones need.
---Meredith
>> I worry about burnout for my hubby and I -- not because we don't enjoy being with our girls and really knowing them -- but because we've put so much on hold to be available for them. Both our careers have taken a big backseat***********
Something that helped me, personally, was shifting my perspective so that I saw parenting as another career. That helped both in terms of juggling multiple kinds of work (paid and unpaid) at home and now that I've gone back into the full-time paid workforce. Step away from the idea of A Career as a sort of monolithic lifestyle and see careers as something to be passionate about For Now while also doing other things you love.
Yes, while kids are little they need a Lot of time and care, but that does change. Its well worth savoring the handful of years of intense full-time commitment that little ones need.
---Meredith