Kelly Lovejoy

And another


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson



Homeschooling Myth #3: Mom Needs to Be a Teacher

were usually under the spell of this myth, too. Our conditioning led us to
believe we had to don yet another hat and stand at the head of the class
pouring forth facts, acting as we presumed teachers are supposed to act.
There are two misconceptions rolled into this one myth. The first and
most obvious is you have already spent years filling the role of teacher
under the label of parent. With every interaction with your child during her
first five years of life you teach her with your words, your actions, your
examples. With your guidance she learned how to walk, talk, throw and
catch a ball, ride a bike, drink from a cup, kiss good-night. These feats
didn’t require a different hat; they required your commitment, your love,
and your trust that when she was ready your child would accomplish all of
these and more. Consider just one of these accomplishments. Let’s take the
incredibly complex action of talking and making sense of sounds as they
become meaningful communication. You didn’t have a text book (or
accompanying teacher’s manual). You didn’t break the subject of speech
into minute sections and drill her endlessly on each piece. You simply
spoke with her, encouraging her babbling each time you replied and smiled
and hugged her.
She listened. She experimented. She happily drooled while rolling and
teasing her tongue into new positions until that momentous day she
stumbled upon “Dada.”
Did you look at her with scorn and say, “The proper way to pronounce
your father’s name is Dad (points off for adding an A at the end) or Daddy
(go back and say it fifty times with a Y)?” You, as parent/teacher, giddy
with happiness in what she did accomplish, showed her through your love
and approval that she was on the right track. Her inner motivation
compelled her; your attention guided her. She learned.
The method you use as parent in your child’s first five years is nature’s
way. Your sustained relationship in an atmosphere of safety and trust and
acceptance is the essence of education as art. The “information” doesn’t
come from you, it flows through you, through your conscious and
subconscious messages; the tone of your voice, your face, your body
language, your deeds. The “learning” isn’t done to your baby, it comes from
her. It’s when we go against that nature that mankind gets in trouble. As
they are set up now, schools work against nature. You don’t have to.
Throw the teacher’s hat away. The hat you are already wearing fits you
just fine. And it’s beautiful.
The second misconception associated with this myth about
homeschooling is that even if you choose to follow public school’s method,
teaching is not as difficult a task as all the college years, certificates, and
teachers unions would lead you to conclude it is. Remember, you begin
with a more intimate knowledge of your child’s likes and dislikes, strengths
and weaknesses, needs and personality than any teacher will ever glean
about her in a classroom filled with dozens of other children. If you need to
choose between three text books, for instance, you have a pretty good idea
which one your son would prefer (better yet, you can ask him!). In the
classroom, one book must fit all.
If you’ve never examined materials provided to teachers for classroom
use, you’ll be surprised, perhaps shocked, at how simplistic their directions
are. I attended a two-day long teachers’ seminar sponsored, in part, by a
public television station. Its purpose was to help teachers integrate public
TV into their day. In each of the eight or so workshops, the trained
instructors spent much of the time teaching us how to press a VCR’s pause
button, showing us where the accompanying paperwork told us exactly
where in the program to stop it, and what to say / ask while it was stopped.
Choreographed down to the minute, the presentations intended for
classroom-use appeared to my non-teacher-trained eyes like a play
rehearsal. Here’s the script, say this now, ask that then, push the button here
(smile and take a bow).



In the workshop on presenting the function of skeletal bones to
elementary-age children, my group received a box of popsicle sticks
from which we were to construct a three-dimensional frame. When that
was complete, we connected bones for a paper skeleton with brass
fasteners. After class I called home. While I had been sitting inside
playing with popsicle sticks, my three “teacherless” children were out
in the woods in the fresh air constructing a fort which, within a short
period of time, sported a roof, smoke hole, and a second story lookout
deck.

Standardized tests contain the same type of step-by-step directions for
administration, easily followed by anyone who can read. Some states
require home educators to attend a training class before giving the tests to
their children. Before I attended a seminar I couldn’t imagine the class
needing to last more than five minutes, but now I see how the presenters
could fill a couple of hours. If teachers’ lessons are a community playhouse
production, management techniques are full-scale Broadway productions.
Browsing through the February, 1994 issue of Education Digest (the
Reader’s Digest of the education world), I encountered two enlightening
articles about classroom management.

1. “When Parents Get Aggressive,” Lorna Brooks-Bonner, from School
Safety: You (teacher) have to diffuse “angry mama’s” hostility, so “a strong,
clear, forceful voice demonstrates your concern.” “Position your body at an
angle – keeping a distance of at least three feet.” “Keep your hands open; do
not make a fist.” “Do not break eye contact.” When a school counselor joins
in the action “…the counselor and I will play roles of ‘good guy vs. bad
guy.’”
And you thought you went into those parent-teacher meetings prepared?
2. “Practical Peacemaking for Educators,” Peter Martin Commanday: To
overcome their “sense of powerlessness in today’s classroom,” teachers are
advised “to formulate…a guide for practical behavior in school each day.”
The goal, we’re told, “is to win small, sequential victories.” I’m taking these
excerpts from Concept 3 of the six explained, and the summary.
A student (John) has picked up a chair during words with another student.
Get his visual attention with a comment. “Using both hands, not one, with
palms up and fingers together, you motion toward the area [where you want
the chair]. Be sure that one hand is slightly in front of the other…” “Take a
step to the side, on a diagonal” “No longer can we assume that we will be
able to command immediate obedience.”

Obviously you won’t have to deal with these problems in your home. I
share them with you because I know you may believe the myth, and these
are just two examples of where today’s teachers must, of necessity, focus
their training and professionalism. You can spend your time focused on
tasks important to and only related to learning.
I am not saying there are not good teachers out there. The difference
between a good and bad teacher is not which script she’s using, but whether
or not she’s also using her heart and her soul. You will naturally use your
heart and soul, and you can read the script. And if you’re fortunate, there
will come a day when you throw the script away, work with nature, and
enjoy learning as a process, not a show.
This is the art of education.
From The Art of Education: Reclaiming Your Family, Community and Self by Linda Dobson (Home Education Press, 1995)










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