Zoa Conner

My normally lovey 11 yo son has decided that he really want us to buy him a
motorcycle and is angry as all hell that we have not done so yet. We are at
am impass and I could use some fresh ideas. Here are things we have
discussed:

-- where he can ride it (he thinks that our neighborhood road is acceptable
even though it is a county maintained road so we disagree)
-- the age requirements for a driver's license to ride on "real" roads
-- whether a "pocket bike", which he considers a "toy", counts as a motor
vehicle requiring licensure and registration
-- finding somewhere to try a motorcycle or dirt bike since he has never
been on one
-- the option of driving "something" on our friends' farms (said no since he
wants to go fast)
-- how we would come up with the money for a motorcycle and gas for it

He says I am killing his dream by not getting him a motorcycle right now.
Those words hurt me, but I seem to be having problems finding more ways to
approach this situation.
----------------
Zoa Conner, PhD
Physicist and Organic Learning Mother
zoaconner@...
*Scintillating Science or Marvelous Math Days: http://ssommd.blogspot.com
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http://zzz-organic.blogspot.com

plaidpanties666

--- In [email protected], Zoa Conner <zoaconner@...> wrote:
>> -- finding somewhere to try a motorcycle or dirt bike since he has never
> been on one

I took a motorcycle riding course years ago, through some university extention - it was either free or nearly. I took it because I was thinking about getting a bike and wanted to know how to ride one first, be able to test drive some different models and all that. Check around your area for something similar - you might have to call around, try places that sell bikes and 4-wheelers, even check with the local police and see if they know of one!

Depending on where you live, there could be dirt bike/ 4-wheeler tracks and driving ranges. There's one up the road from me - not so much business now that gas has gotten pricey, but for awhile it buzzed with bikes and 4-wheelers all weekend. Other than that, if you know folks with a farm can they tell you where the old, unpaved county roads and logging roads are? That's the other place riders go in my neck of the woods.

> -- where he can ride it (he thinks that our neighborhood road is acceptable
> even though it is a county maintained road so we disagree)

Frankly, I'd call (or visit) the local police and flat out ask! There are plenty of violations police regularly ignore as "not really a problem". I've walked into the sherrif's office and asked for opinions, ideas, etc when I wasn't sure how to handle things in the past. They're generally happy to talk - they don't *want* trouble so they're really glad to see someone looking to avoid any. Under the circumstances, see if you can make a date to bring your son and chat with someone. Let them know you're not out to scare him away from motorcycles so they don't drag out the horror stories, you're just trying to help him make good, responsible decisions.

> He says I am killing his dream by not getting him a motorcycle right now.

Have you gone and looked? Had him sit on some and priced them? Explored the price ranges of new and used and financing options? Just doing those things might help narrow down the vast and wonderful world of motorcycles to something that's closer to his real desire.

---Meredith

Faith Void

On Sat, May 29, 2010 at 10:19 AM, Zoa Conner <zoaconner@...> wrote:

>
>
> My normally lovey 11 yo son has decided that he really want us to buy him a
> motorcycle and is angry as all hell that we have not done so yet. We are at
> am impasse and I could use some fresh ideas. Here are things we have
> discussed:
>
> -- where he can ride it (he thinks that our neighborhood road is acceptable
> even though it is a county maintained road so we disagree)
>
***Have you looked up the laws to find out what are the real life
limitations? It might help in finding a way to work with those real limits.

Many of our neighbors have 4 wheelers (children as young as 6) and ride in
their back yard or on tracks. We don't do it so I am not sure what are the
exact requirements.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> -- the age requirements for a driver's license to ride on "real" roads
>
***In MD you must have a permit to use road ways. The minimum age is

15 years, 9 months---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


> -- whether a "pocket bike", which he considers a "toy", counts as a motor
> vehicle requiring licensure and registration
>
*** From what I have read it seems that it is considered a vehicle in most
states.

http://injury.findlaw.com/personal-injury/personal-injury-a-z/pocket-bikes.html?DCMP=KNC-Personal-Injury&HBX_PK=pocket+bike+laws&HBX_OU=50

this link offers info in pocket bike use and how to find more out in each
state.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


> -- finding somewhere to try a motorcycle or dirt bike since he has never
> been on one
>

***Try dirt-bike and motocross tracks. Would he be interested in 4 wheelers?
That may be a good idea as it is legal.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

> -- the option of driving "something" on our friends' farms (said no since
> he
> wants to go fast)
>
-- how we would come up with the money for a motorcycle and gas for it
>
*** My dd13 is already saving for her first vehicle! She sets aside a
portion of her income for it. I know that when the time comes dh and I will
discuss what we are able to help with financially.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


>
> He says I am killing his dream by not getting him a motorcycle right now.
> Those words hurt me, but I seem to be having problems finding more ways to
> approach this situation.
>

*** He may feel that way but it doesn't sound like the reality. I would take
his feeling seriously BUT not personally (QTIP- Qiut Taking It Personally).
He is disappointed, rightly so. Not by you but by a restriction that is
placed by our society and it is infringing on his goals.

There are other ideas for going fast, driving other vehicles, go-cart
tracks, moto-cross (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motocross), dirt-bike
racing (
http://www.motorcycle-usa.com/44/Motorcycles/Motocross-and-Supercross.aspx),
a 4 wheeler or other RV
Maybe a gas scooter may do, they aren't as fast as motorcycles but can be
used to ride on streets.

Best Wishes,
Faith


--
www.bearthmama.com


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otherstar

>>>>My normally lovey 11 yo son has decided that he really want us to buy him a
motorcycle and is angry as all hell that we have not done so yet. We are at
am impass and I could use some fresh ideas. <<<<

A lot of the things that you have discussed are legal matters. Did you encourage him to do the research to verify the laws in your state? Whenever my daughter wants to do something (doesn't matter what it is) that I am uncomfortable with, we research it together or I have her do the research to help me be comfortable with it. What are your reasons for not doing it? Are you uncomfortable with the idea and trying to find ways to avoid it? Is it a monetary thing? What are your fears and concerns?

>>>>>-- finding somewhere to try a motorcycle or dirt bike since he has never
been on one<<<<

Have you gone to any of the local motorcycle shops? I would recommend going to a shop and talking to a shop owner about the legalities involved in owning a motorcycle or dirt bike in your area. They would also probably know where a race track is. I have a friend whose son started racing dirt bikes/motorcycles when his son was 4 or 5. Here is a link to a quick guide for dirt bikes: http://www.dirtbikekids.com/ You might also consider finding go kart tracks. Go karts are pretty fun and let you go fast.


>>>>-- the option of driving "something" on our friends' farms (said no since he
wants to go fast)<<<<

The motorcross tracks and courses that are available in a lot of places would be much better than a friends farm because it would allow him to go fast. If you could find one of those tracks somewhere in your area, you might be able to contact them for ways that your son could try out a motorcycle to see if he really likes it or if he just likes the idea of it. I think there are classes and stuff that are offered.


>>>>-- how we would come up with the money for a motorcycle and gas for it<<<

Does he get an allowance or have any kind of way to earn money? When my daughter wanted a nintendo DS, we talked about not being able to afford it. Our solution was for her to help save the money by doing extra work around the house. She also remembered that she always gets lots of money for her birthday from family members. For her birthday, we put our money with her birthday money and the money she had been saving and got her the DS as well as games and accessories.

>>>>He says I am killing his dream by not getting him a motorcycle right now.
Those words hurt me, but I seem to be having problems finding more ways to
approach this situation.<<<<

Perhaps you could tell him yes now and start moving towards buying the motorcycle by checking out some local tracks and shopping at some of the local mini bike places. We usually have a research and discovery period where do things related to the item that my kids want to purchase. Does he have any idea how much bikes run? Does he have any idea of what type of bike he actually wants? I would get into the specific, nitty gritty details of what bike ownership entails.

Connie



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Deb Lewis

Kids here ride dirt bikes on public lands, blm and forest service roads and off road.

There's a family who built a motocross track on their land. The kids are awesome to watch! Do you have some land you could devote to a track?

Maybe you can contact the American Motorcyclists Association for information about where to ride in your area and about dealers and clubs.

If he'd consider a dirt bike I think you could find places to ride. Maybe he could watch some Youtube videos of motocross kids and see if he'd like to try that. And maybe you can find a used bike for a starter bike for him. Gas won't cost you much. Gear will probably be your biggest expense after the bike.

Maybe you could finagle your friend with the farm to build a little starter track?

Deb Lewis





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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

We have a motocross track in our farm that my BIL build years ago for his step kids. Even his stepdaughter when she was 8 until 10 or 11 used to compete.  They bought used bikes to start and had lots of fun. The oldest was really good at it but had one injury and decided it was not worth it competing so he only rides for fun today.

A couple of things jumped out in your e-mail for me.
One is that it sounds like you are trying to see barriers for him to get his bike.
Motocycles run on very little gas and used ones for motocross can be cheap sometimes ( relatively)
Would you have listed so many reasons to say no if he wanted to buy  , say, a new game console?
Are you afraid he is going to get hurt ?
Find out about a club or a track close to you and go hang out and ask questions with him.
That is the way to support him instead of thinking up reasons for obstacles to his dream!
 
 \Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/

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Kathryn

--- In [email protected], Zoa Conner <zoaconner@...> wrote:

== My normally lovey 11 yo son has decided that he really want us to buy him a motorcycle and is angry as all hell that we have not done so yet. ==

Hi Zoa,

My son too (5) is dearly passionate about and wanting a motorbike. It's been an interesting journey for myself, exploring/contacting local council, etc, to determine where/when people can ride dirtbikes. It's Not supported well here in this corner of the world; the noise can be an issue for residence. Fair enough. He doesn't care about the details. He just wants to ride NOW!

For now, what seems to have fed his passion (without the actual dirtbike!) is DVD's of motorcross stuff. Check out Crusty Demons; my ds LOVES it! But first and foremost are his video games. He has a few that are his favourite, where he choses the bike/rider/track, etc. I wander if your son has 'parallel' type passions -- scooters, BMX, skateboard, etc. Jude does, and we do lots of trips out and about to local skate parks with bike/scooter in tow where he can do his thing and increase his skills/creativity. To me, all this seems 'transitional' to his ultimate goal of owning/riding a dirtbike. But it may feed his passion for Just the scooter, or push bike, or . . . shall wait and see!

Hope this helps,

KathynD

Elli

Zoa -


ZING!!!!

"My normally lovey 11 yo son..."

I sense judgement in those six words. I hear you thinking: My kid had gone crazy! He's a motorcycle maniac. He doesn't know what he's really asking for!! He's gonna die!!

For me, judgement masks fear. You may have a pile of fear you need to unload about motorcylces before you can work together with your son towards his dream.

It helps me to figure out how realistic my fears are. Like when I let go of the fear "TV is bad and Violent Video games are worse." I read a lot about TV and video games and violence. I discovered that many people learn lots of positive skills via video games. Since I've let go of my fears I've been able to enjoy my son and his passion for video games. I've watch with pleasure as his leadership skills improve and his communication skills grow. I've been able to watch my daughter as she explores acting, directing, theatre, relationships, etc. through TV. Cool!

It also helps me to keep things good with my kids if I unload my fears before I talk to them. Maybe talking to hubby about fears. Definitely writing to un-schooling folks about my fears. Sometimes just writing down, "I am afraid..." and filling in the blank gets those fears out of my head and on to paper where I can deal with them. I am afraid he will hurt his head, so I get a helmut. I am afraid he will ride before he knows what to do, so I get him a mentor.

I suggest getting those fears out and on the table where you can deal with them. Then, go back to your son and find a way to help him get what he wants.

Best,

Elli