Another reading question
centurykissed
My dd is 12 and can't read. She can not even read 3 letter words at this point. It is really bothering her and she wants to read so badly. I know she wants more independance from me and be able to read things for herself. She gets embarassed at restaraunts when I have to read the menu to her and I can see her avoiding situations where it might come up. She has always enjoyed Girl Scouts but I can see her shying away from that now too. She did do some online reading games like Starfall for a little while but it really didn't help. She can't seem to remember the sounds the letters make from one day to the next. I'm starting to get worried, more for her self esteem than anything.
I'm wondering if I should seek help for her at this point.
Thanks in advance for any advice,
Aubrey
I'm wondering if I should seek help for her at this point.
Thanks in advance for any advice,
Aubrey
otherstar
>>>>I'm wondering if I should seek help for her at this point.<<<<What is your daughter's opinion? Have you talked to her about what she wants to do about it? Tell her that you have noticed her discomfort and brainstorm with her. If she isn't interested in help and you seek it, then that could aggravate the situation. If it is making her uncomfortable and self-conscious, then you can sit down and talk to her about what she thinks might help. Does she think that she needs more time or does she not get it at all? She's 12, she needs to have a say in whether or not you seek help.
>>>>She can't seem to remember the sounds the letters make from one day to the next. I'm starting to get worried, more for her self esteem than anything.<<<<<My oldest was never able to sound out words until after she learned to read. She benefitted most when we read to her without breaking words down into smaller parts. Sounding words out confused her. She could read whole words but she couldn't read the individual sounds. Have you been trying to give her actual instruction? I am wondering what you mean when you say that she forgets the sounds the letters make from one day to the next. Do you try to do actual reading lessons with her and encourage her to sound out the words or does she try to sound out words on her own? If there is a focus on phonics, that could be the problem. If a person's brain isn't wired to understand phonics, then phonics and remembering the sound of each letter could be really confusing.
Connie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On May 20, 2010, at 10:19 AM, centurykissed wrote:
http://sandradodd.com/reading
It might help you help her to focus on what she can do. Not to make
her feel wrong about not being able to read. It *is* frustrating not
to be able to do something we want. But to focus on her where she is
flying along and perhaps doing what her peers can't.
some kids do build up that way. But for many kids it's absorbing whole
words. (Once they get a huge collection, then they can see how the
individual parts work, but that's *after* they've gotten reading.)
Are there words that she does recognize? If you wrote STOP in capital
letters, would she recognize that?
more data to work with, though, examples of similar situations from
their families. The biggest problem is that out in the mainstream
world there's no such thing as a functioning non-reading 12 yo. The 12
yos who can't read are in special classes or finding ways to hide it.
They're failures. But in the world of unschooling where reading isn't
necessary for someone else's agenda (ie, so the schools can function)
kids learn in whatever way is most natural to them and reading comes
when they're developmentally ready.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> My dd is 12 and can't read.Have you read at the link to Sandra's site?
http://sandradodd.com/reading
It might help you help her to focus on what she can do. Not to make
her feel wrong about not being able to read. It *is* frustrating not
to be able to do something we want. But to focus on her where she is
flying along and perhaps doing what her peers can't.
> She can't seem to remember the sounds the letters make from one dayIt seems like reading is about sounding out individual letters. And
> to the next.
some kids do build up that way. But for many kids it's absorbing whole
words. (Once they get a huge collection, then they can see how the
individual parts work, but that's *after* they've gotten reading.)
Are there words that she does recognize? If you wrote STOP in capital
letters, would she recognize that?
> I'm wondering if I should seek help for her at this point.I don't think anyone should tell you want to do! People can give you
more data to work with, though, examples of similar situations from
their families. The biggest problem is that out in the mainstream
world there's no such thing as a functioning non-reading 12 yo. The 12
yos who can't read are in special classes or finding ways to hide it.
They're failures. But in the world of unschooling where reading isn't
necessary for someone else's agenda (ie, so the schools can function)
kids learn in whatever way is most natural to them and reading comes
when they're developmentally ready.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On May 20, 2010, at 10:19 AM, centurykissed wrote:
a sight reader.
Turn on the captions on TV.
Video games :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> She can't seem to remember the sounds the letters make from one dayAudio books and a copy of the book might be more up her alley if she's
> to the next
a sight reader.
Turn on the captions on TV.
Video games :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "otherstar" <otherstar@...> wrote:
This isn't uncommon - its especially *common* in fact, in people who don't read organically until adolescence. If your dd isn't "getting" letter sound correspondences, its really important that she know that - trying to focus on that will get in her way, and actually keep her from learning to read.
If she's been trying to do that for awhile then it might help her to take a break from trying to learn - that sounds backwards, but to some extent she may have to un-learn a bad habit so that she can start to learn in a way that works for her.
---Meredith
>> My oldest was never able to sound out words until after she learned to read. She benefitted most when we read to her without breaking words down into smaller parts. Sounding words out confused her. She could read whole words but she couldn't read the individual sounds.****************
This isn't uncommon - its especially *common* in fact, in people who don't read organically until adolescence. If your dd isn't "getting" letter sound correspondences, its really important that she know that - trying to focus on that will get in her way, and actually keep her from learning to read.
If she's been trying to do that for awhile then it might help her to take a break from trying to learn - that sounds backwards, but to some extent she may have to un-learn a bad habit so that she can start to learn in a way that works for her.
---Meredith
centurykissed
Thank you to all who responded.
She tends to get frustrated when she tries but can't seem to get it. When I see her struggling I am struck with the idea that it might be her short/long term memory. I see it in other areas too. If I ask her to bring me something and she runs off to get it I'll sometimes find her 10 minutes later in her room playing. When I ask her about it she says she forgot. I know that she is not doing it on purpose. She is a very thoughtful and loving child and is not ignoring me. She is genuinely surprised when I remind her of things. Also, she can't remember her birthday when people ask her. She doesn't know the days of the week or the months of the year. She has a lot of trouble grasping abstract concepts. Things like that.
The reading is not an issue that I have pushed with her. I read to her everyday because she asks me to. It's our special time before bed. Sometimes when she is trying to read something and asks for help I may sound it out for her or may just read it to her. She plays video games but usually chooses games geared for younger children and asks her brother or I for help when she needs it.
When she went to preschool at the public school they told me that she had developmental delays. We didn't go back the next year and none of that has really mattered since she's been home. She had problems with her speech when she was younger. In fact, I was the only one that could understand her until she was about 7 years old.
Any thoughts?
Aubrey
She tends to get frustrated when she tries but can't seem to get it. When I see her struggling I am struck with the idea that it might be her short/long term memory. I see it in other areas too. If I ask her to bring me something and she runs off to get it I'll sometimes find her 10 minutes later in her room playing. When I ask her about it she says she forgot. I know that she is not doing it on purpose. She is a very thoughtful and loving child and is not ignoring me. She is genuinely surprised when I remind her of things. Also, she can't remember her birthday when people ask her. She doesn't know the days of the week or the months of the year. She has a lot of trouble grasping abstract concepts. Things like that.
The reading is not an issue that I have pushed with her. I read to her everyday because she asks me to. It's our special time before bed. Sometimes when she is trying to read something and asks for help I may sound it out for her or may just read it to her. She plays video games but usually chooses games geared for younger children and asks her brother or I for help when she needs it.
When she went to preschool at the public school they told me that she had developmental delays. We didn't go back the next year and none of that has really mattered since she's been home. She had problems with her speech when she was younger. In fact, I was the only one that could understand her until she was about 7 years old.
Any thoughts?
Aubrey
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], "otherstar" <otherstar@> wrote:
> >> My oldest was never able to sound out words until after she learned to read. She benefitted most when we read to her without breaking words down into smaller parts. Sounding words out confused her. She could read whole words but she couldn't read the individual sounds.
> ****************
>
> This isn't uncommon - its especially *common* in fact, in people who don't read organically until adolescence. If your dd isn't "getting" letter sound correspondences, its really important that she know that - trying to focus on that will get in her way, and actually keep her from learning to read.
>
> If she's been trying to do that for awhile then it might help her to take a break from trying to learn - that sounds backwards, but to some extent she may have to un-learn a bad habit so that she can start to learn in a way that works for her.
>
> ---Meredith
>
JJ
We lived through a similarly unusual processing problem that affected basic math, and also showed up in room disorganization, really great writing skills that masked it, etc. We never had her checked out although I secretly worried about whether I should, until she was a couple of years into community college and it finally came to a head.
Here is something she wrote about it as it was happening:
http://misedjj.wordpress.com/2008/03/27/well-that-explains-a-lot/
I mention this to say that it turned out not just fine to wait, but better than fine. Had we pursued diagnosis and therapy when she was still school-aged, the clinical psychologist told us she would not have been accommodated but remediated, even though it isn't possible to change or improve her specific coding disorder. All it would have done is make her focus on a problem rather than on her many strengths (which are extraordinary!) Certainly the schools' "remediation" protocol would have sapped her confidence in her general ability and intelligence.
Instead, she was able to stop struggling and to substitute science and computer courses for the required college math; she is a straight-A senior at a major public university, with all sorts of honors and scholarships, now preparing for the GRE so she can begin graduate school in library science and museum curation.
The GRE is all math and verbal,btw, half and half. No accommodations allowed. She doesn't care. She is cheerfully planning to ace the verbal and do what she can around her disorder with the math sections. She is supremely confident it will be enough when they see her undergrad record along with her verbal performance.
Her brain works exactly the same as it always has and always will. The difference between her success breezing along with it, and the tragic failure of most kids who have the same coding function, is mainly that she was radically unschooled and that has made all the difference. :)
Here is something she wrote about it as it was happening:
http://misedjj.wordpress.com/2008/03/27/well-that-explains-a-lot/
I mention this to say that it turned out not just fine to wait, but better than fine. Had we pursued diagnosis and therapy when she was still school-aged, the clinical psychologist told us she would not have been accommodated but remediated, even though it isn't possible to change or improve her specific coding disorder. All it would have done is make her focus on a problem rather than on her many strengths (which are extraordinary!) Certainly the schools' "remediation" protocol would have sapped her confidence in her general ability and intelligence.
Instead, she was able to stop struggling and to substitute science and computer courses for the required college math; she is a straight-A senior at a major public university, with all sorts of honors and scholarships, now preparing for the GRE so she can begin graduate school in library science and museum curation.
The GRE is all math and verbal,btw, half and half. No accommodations allowed. She doesn't care. She is cheerfully planning to ace the verbal and do what she can around her disorder with the math sections. She is supremely confident it will be enough when they see her undergrad record along with her verbal performance.
Her brain works exactly the same as it always has and always will. The difference between her success breezing along with it, and the tragic failure of most kids who have the same coding function, is mainly that she was radically unschooled and that has made all the difference. :)
--- In [email protected], "centurykissed" <southernbelle@...> wrote:
>
> Thank you to all who responded.
> She tends to get frustrated when she tries but can't seem to get it. When I see her struggling I am struck with the idea that it might be her short/long term memory. I see it in other areas too. If I ask her to bring me something and she runs off to get it I'll sometimes find her 10 minutes later in her room playing. When I ask her about it she says she forgot. I know that she is not doing it on purpose. She is a very thoughtful and loving child and is not ignoring me. She is genuinely surprised when I remind her of things. Also, she can't remember her birthday when people ask her. She doesn't know the days of the week or the months of the year. She has a lot of trouble grasping abstract concepts. Things like that.
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "centurykissed" <southernbelle@...> wrote:
If she does (and I have no idea, not having met her) then she may read even later than 13. Its a complex interplay of skills, and it may be that she won't learn it until she's done growing, physically. That's a possibility.
Does she have trouble putting small ideas together into bigger ideas? Ray's like that, although he has no developmental delays. He's just not very logical - he can't build an idea out of smaller ideas, he needs to grasp the big idea *and* the smaller ideas in order to see how they fit together. That's sometimes baffling for me and George because we're very logical - we don't think the way he does.
I really really recommend *not* sounding things out. What kinds of things does she like you to read to her?. Do you run your finger under the words while you read? Some people find that helpful. Do you put subtitles or captions on the tv and games? That can be helpful, too. Keep lots of print in her world - reading, captions, games, its not all that hard ;) and give her lots of reassurance that she'll read when she's ready. People who read later almost seem to do it by magic, sometimes - she won't be aware of herself learning and you won't see anything until it suddenly clicks.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>> When she went to preschool at the public school they told me that she had developmental delays.****************
If she does (and I have no idea, not having met her) then she may read even later than 13. Its a complex interplay of skills, and it may be that she won't learn it until she's done growing, physically. That's a possibility.
>>She has a lot of trouble grasping abstract concepts.All the more reason to avoid anything like phonics - its probably the most abstract route to reading, breaking ideas down into representations of sounds and then building those sounds back up into words. Stated that way, it sounds ridiculously complicated! Its a wonder Anyone learns that way ;)
Does she have trouble putting small ideas together into bigger ideas? Ray's like that, although he has no developmental delays. He's just not very logical - he can't build an idea out of smaller ideas, he needs to grasp the big idea *and* the smaller ideas in order to see how they fit together. That's sometimes baffling for me and George because we're very logical - we don't think the way he does.
>>Sometimes when she is trying to read something and asks for help I may sound it out for her or may just read it to her.****************
I really really recommend *not* sounding things out. What kinds of things does she like you to read to her?. Do you run your finger under the words while you read? Some people find that helpful. Do you put subtitles or captions on the tv and games? That can be helpful, too. Keep lots of print in her world - reading, captions, games, its not all that hard ;) and give her lots of reassurance that she'll read when she's ready. People who read later almost seem to do it by magic, sometimes - she won't be aware of herself learning and you won't see anything until it suddenly clicks.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
centurykissed
Yes she does have a hard time seeing the "big picture." I make sure to explain the big picture in a way that she understands. For example, in Girl Scouts they may be doing several different activities and she may not necessarily see the conection between them. But when I explain that all of these activities will help the girls earn this particular patch you can see the light go on and she says, "Oh! That's what all of that was about!"
In the last few months we have read Stuart Little, Little house in the Big Woods, Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, and I'm sure there are others that I'm forgetting at the moment. We always have closed captioning on, mostly for me because I have a very chatty 2 year old-lol.
She loves books. She always has a book in her hand and when we go to the library we almost need a wheel barrow to get all of her books home.
Aubrey
In the last few months we have read Stuart Little, Little house in the Big Woods, Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, and I'm sure there are others that I'm forgetting at the moment. We always have closed captioning on, mostly for me because I have a very chatty 2 year old-lol.
She loves books. She always has a book in her hand and when we go to the library we almost need a wheel barrow to get all of her books home.
Aubrey
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <plaidpanties666@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], "centurykissed" <southernbelle@> wrote:
> >> When she went to preschool at the public school they told me that she had developmental delays.
> ****************
>
> If she does (and I have no idea, not having met her) then she may read even later than 13. Its a complex interplay of skills, and it may be that she won't learn it until she's done growing, physically. That's a possibility.
>
> >>She has a lot of trouble grasping abstract concepts.
>
> All the more reason to avoid anything like phonics - its probably the most abstract route to reading, breaking ideas down into representations of sounds and then building those sounds back up into words. Stated that way, it sounds ridiculously complicated! Its a wonder Anyone learns that way ;)
>
> Does she have trouble putting small ideas together into bigger ideas? Ray's like that, although he has no developmental delays. He's just not very logical - he can't build an idea out of smaller ideas, he needs to grasp the big idea *and* the smaller ideas in order to see how they fit together. That's sometimes baffling for me and George because we're very logical - we don't think the way he does.
>
> >>Sometimes when she is trying to read something and asks for help I may sound it out for her or may just read it to her.
> ****************
>
> I really really recommend *not* sounding things out. What kinds of things does she like you to read to her?. Do you run your finger under the words while you read? Some people find that helpful. Do you put subtitles or captions on the tv and games? That can be helpful, too. Keep lots of print in her world - reading, captions, games, its not all that hard ;) and give her lots of reassurance that she'll read when she's ready. People who read later almost seem to do it by magic, sometimes - she won't be aware of herself learning and you won't see anything until it suddenly clicks.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>
plaidpanties666
I came across a site you might find interesting, either in terms of understanding ways your dd is already "reading" visual information or, if she's wanting some specific help, a good source or materials:
http://k-8visual.info/
---Meredith
http://k-8visual.info/
---Meredith
plaidpanties666
It also occurred to me that she might enjoy graphic novels. If she likes animal stories then the Cat Warriors books could be really fun for her, as well as the Redwall books - both are also available as full text novels. Wind in the Willows is also available as a graphic novel.
---Meredith
---Meredith
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Did you just write that she read does books?
So she is reading some?
To my son phonics was not the way until he learned how to read.
He learned to read chatting online while playing Roblox ( an online game)
He would ask me over and over again what certain words where and
them one day he would not forget anymore.
He is 7 years old now and reads in a 3-4 grade level and is an amazing speller.
Sometimes he still will ask me how to spell something because he likes to spell correctly.
If I had tried phonics with him it would have confused him and it would have been a disaster.
Once in a while he will tell me how a word makes no sense if read phonetically , now that he learned on his
on how phonics work.
He also still loves me to read for him and I do.
I have never sounded out words for him. If he asked me to read something I just did.
If he asked me to spell something I just did that too.
He is so confident that he offers to read everywhere and does not feel bad if he does not know the word.
He will simply either try or ask someone.
When he learned to read he never read like kids that read phonetically trying out the sounds till they can put the word together.
He just read fast. People were pretty amazed.
I have met kids that learned at 11 or older and they are went from reading very little to great in a very short time once it clicked for them.
But everyone is different.
I learned to speek French, Spanish and English just by learning the individual words , not phonetically ( my mother language is Portuguese).
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
So she is reading some?
To my son phonics was not the way until he learned how to read.
He learned to read chatting online while playing Roblox ( an online game)
He would ask me over and over again what certain words where and
them one day he would not forget anymore.
He is 7 years old now and reads in a 3-4 grade level and is an amazing speller.
Sometimes he still will ask me how to spell something because he likes to spell correctly.
If I had tried phonics with him it would have confused him and it would have been a disaster.
Once in a while he will tell me how a word makes no sense if read phonetically , now that he learned on his
on how phonics work.
He also still loves me to read for him and I do.
I have never sounded out words for him. If he asked me to read something I just did.
If he asked me to spell something I just did that too.
He is so confident that he offers to read everywhere and does not feel bad if he does not know the word.
He will simply either try or ask someone.
When he learned to read he never read like kids that read phonetically trying out the sounds till they can put the word together.
He just read fast. People were pretty amazed.
I have met kids that learned at 11 or older and they are went from reading very little to great in a very short time once it clicked for them.
But everyone is different.
I learned to speek French, Spanish and English just by learning the individual words , not phonetically ( my mother language is Portuguese).
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb Lewis
***I know she wants more independance from me and be able to read things for herself.***
Audio books. Word use, the rhythm of speech, story line, all that contributes to learning to read. A really wonderful thing happens when you've heard enough stories, followed the rhythm of speech enough to begin to expect the next word.
*** She gets embarassed at restaraunts when I have to read the menu to her and I can see her avoiding situations where it might come up.***
So before you get to the restaurant offer ideas about what she might order so that she doesn't have to try to read the menu.
Go to a restaurant she's familiar with so that she can order without a menu. Or *you* read the menu - not *to* her but read it for yourself and say, casually to her, "Oh, they have such and such" - whatever you know she likes. That way you're not reading the menu to her, you're chatting about the menu, like you might do with anyone.
***I'm starting to get worried, more for her self esteem than anything. ***
Be careful of your attitude about it. Don't express or otherwise reveal your concern to her. Her self esteem will be better if you can show her your calm confidence that things will come out ok. Help her understand it's more about brain readiness than desire to learn and lots of people read later. Maybe stories of later readers would help her feel better.
***She has always enjoyed Girl Scouts but I can see her shying away from that now too.***
I don't know anything about girl scouts but maybe it would be possible to explain to her leader that she'll need support for reading stuff. I know it's hard to see a child move away from something she's previously enjoyed but being uncomfortable about not being able to read isn't a less valid reason for leaving an activity than some other reason. We look at it like it's wrong somehow but if she left soccer because she realized she just wasn't good at sports, it probably wouldn't feel the same to you because you understand not everyone is great at sports. Not everyone is great at reading at the age of twelve.
My husband can read but doesn't really enjoy reading and if he can get to something without reading about it, without reading directions or details, he much prefers that approach. He's fifty.
***I'm wondering if I should seek help for her at this point. ***
If my kid wasn't reading at twelve I would not have looked for help. Help always focuses on how the child is not measuring up, not getting it, how she's wrong. Read to her often if she likes that. Don't coach her to sound out words if she's trying to read something just tell her what the word is. Get a lot of audio books, old time radio programs if she'd like that, poetry recordings. Listen together. Talk to her about books you're reading, read little snippets of something wonderful from a book you're enjoying or an article you liked. Watch foreign language films with subtitles if she'd like that. Amelie was on the other night and it's so quirky and charming. (some sexual content if she'd be ok with that) Read the subtitles to her. We had so much fun with this when Dylan was little. (he liked Japanese monster movies) Watch English language films with rich language. Learn some great songs together and sing. If she likes to sing, get a karaoke machine and some cd's. Play Mad Libs. You do the work, write the words for her, and then read the crazy sentences to her. We played a game like that when Dylan was younger. We wrote words on little pieces of paper or whatever was handy and then we'd draw the little papers at random to make funny sentences. Magnetic poetry for your refrigerator might be fun. A white board or chalk board where you can leave her a little message - " I love you!" or "Cookies!" Have fun with words and language.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Audio books. Word use, the rhythm of speech, story line, all that contributes to learning to read. A really wonderful thing happens when you've heard enough stories, followed the rhythm of speech enough to begin to expect the next word.
*** She gets embarassed at restaraunts when I have to read the menu to her and I can see her avoiding situations where it might come up.***
So before you get to the restaurant offer ideas about what she might order so that she doesn't have to try to read the menu.
Go to a restaurant she's familiar with so that she can order without a menu. Or *you* read the menu - not *to* her but read it for yourself and say, casually to her, "Oh, they have such and such" - whatever you know she likes. That way you're not reading the menu to her, you're chatting about the menu, like you might do with anyone.
***I'm starting to get worried, more for her self esteem than anything. ***
Be careful of your attitude about it. Don't express or otherwise reveal your concern to her. Her self esteem will be better if you can show her your calm confidence that things will come out ok. Help her understand it's more about brain readiness than desire to learn and lots of people read later. Maybe stories of later readers would help her feel better.
***She has always enjoyed Girl Scouts but I can see her shying away from that now too.***
I don't know anything about girl scouts but maybe it would be possible to explain to her leader that she'll need support for reading stuff. I know it's hard to see a child move away from something she's previously enjoyed but being uncomfortable about not being able to read isn't a less valid reason for leaving an activity than some other reason. We look at it like it's wrong somehow but if she left soccer because she realized she just wasn't good at sports, it probably wouldn't feel the same to you because you understand not everyone is great at sports. Not everyone is great at reading at the age of twelve.
My husband can read but doesn't really enjoy reading and if he can get to something without reading about it, without reading directions or details, he much prefers that approach. He's fifty.
***I'm wondering if I should seek help for her at this point. ***
If my kid wasn't reading at twelve I would not have looked for help. Help always focuses on how the child is not measuring up, not getting it, how she's wrong. Read to her often if she likes that. Don't coach her to sound out words if she's trying to read something just tell her what the word is. Get a lot of audio books, old time radio programs if she'd like that, poetry recordings. Listen together. Talk to her about books you're reading, read little snippets of something wonderful from a book you're enjoying or an article you liked. Watch foreign language films with subtitles if she'd like that. Amelie was on the other night and it's so quirky and charming. (some sexual content if she'd be ok with that) Read the subtitles to her. We had so much fun with this when Dylan was little. (he liked Japanese monster movies) Watch English language films with rich language. Learn some great songs together and sing. If she likes to sing, get a karaoke machine and some cd's. Play Mad Libs. You do the work, write the words for her, and then read the crazy sentences to her. We played a game like that when Dylan was younger. We wrote words on little pieces of paper or whatever was handy and then we'd draw the little papers at random to make funny sentences. Magnetic poetry for your refrigerator might be fun. A white board or chalk board where you can leave her a little message - " I love you!" or "Cookies!" Have fun with words and language.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb Lewis
***When I see her struggling I am struck with the idea that it might be her short/long term memory. I see it in other areas too. If I ask her to bring me something and she runs off to get it I'll sometimes find her 10 minutes later in her room playing.***
If she's easily distracted that might, in part, contribute to later reading. But I don't see that as a memory problem. She has the kind of brain that moves quickly from one idea to another. That's perfectly ok.
It wouldn't be convenient for a teacher with twenty five other kids and so maybe that's why you have some idea that it's not normal or ok, but you don't have to worry about what's easier for a teacher, you can let your kid be herself.
***Also, she can't remember her birthday when people ask her. She doesn't know the days of the week or the months of the year.***
Ok, twelve is young to know this stuff. I think you might not have a realistic picture of twelve. <g> People in school have to memorize this stuff but it's really not important. There is no reason a twelve year old who isn't going to school five days a week (doesn't have to write the date at the top of pointless worksheets) and who isn't looking forward to summer vacation needs to know days of the week or months of the year. She can ask you, right? That's good enough. She will learn it. It's ok if she doesn't know it now.
***Sometimes when she is trying to read something and asks for help I may sound it out for her or may just read it to her.***
Simply telling her the word is more helpful. Don't sound stuff out.
***When she went to preschool at the public school they told me that she had developmental delays. ***
Delays compared with who? Who does she need to keep up with? She's herself. She will always be herself. She's learning and growing at her own rate, in her own way, and that will always be the truth of her life, just like it is for you. Are you ever going to develop at someone else's rate? No. And you don't have to.
* **She had problems with her speech when she was younger. In fact, I was the only one that could understand her until she was about 7 years old.
Any thoughts?***
I had a friend who talked later and some people couldn't understand him. The school wanted him in some speech program but his mom refused. By the time he was seventeen and eighteen he was doing community theater. He had this big, loud, clear voice that kind of mesmerized people.
Maybe language isn't one of your daughters strong skills. There are a lot of people who don't read for pleasure, aren't great conversationalists, don't write much more than notes or "to do" lists, and still have good lives.
Deb Lewis
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If she's easily distracted that might, in part, contribute to later reading. But I don't see that as a memory problem. She has the kind of brain that moves quickly from one idea to another. That's perfectly ok.
It wouldn't be convenient for a teacher with twenty five other kids and so maybe that's why you have some idea that it's not normal or ok, but you don't have to worry about what's easier for a teacher, you can let your kid be herself.
***Also, she can't remember her birthday when people ask her. She doesn't know the days of the week or the months of the year.***
Ok, twelve is young to know this stuff. I think you might not have a realistic picture of twelve. <g> People in school have to memorize this stuff but it's really not important. There is no reason a twelve year old who isn't going to school five days a week (doesn't have to write the date at the top of pointless worksheets) and who isn't looking forward to summer vacation needs to know days of the week or months of the year. She can ask you, right? That's good enough. She will learn it. It's ok if she doesn't know it now.
***Sometimes when she is trying to read something and asks for help I may sound it out for her or may just read it to her.***
Simply telling her the word is more helpful. Don't sound stuff out.
***When she went to preschool at the public school they told me that she had developmental delays. ***
Delays compared with who? Who does she need to keep up with? She's herself. She will always be herself. She's learning and growing at her own rate, in her own way, and that will always be the truth of her life, just like it is for you. Are you ever going to develop at someone else's rate? No. And you don't have to.
* **She had problems with her speech when she was younger. In fact, I was the only one that could understand her until she was about 7 years old.
Any thoughts?***
I had a friend who talked later and some people couldn't understand him. The school wanted him in some speech program but his mom refused. By the time he was seventeen and eighteen he was doing community theater. He had this big, loud, clear voice that kind of mesmerized people.
Maybe language isn't one of your daughters strong skills. There are a lot of people who don't read for pleasure, aren't great conversationalists, don't write much more than notes or "to do" lists, and still have good lives.
Deb Lewis
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The Coffee Goddess
***Also, she can't remember her birthday when people ask her. She doesn't know the days of the week or the months of the year.***
Dana
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>>Ok, twelve is young to know this stuff. I think you might not have a realistic picture of twelve. <g> People in school have to memorize this stuff but it's really not important. There is no reason a twelve year old who isn't going to school five days a week (doesn't have to write the date at the top of pointless worksheets) and who isn't looking forward to summer vacation needs to know days of the week or months of the year. She can ask you, right? That's good enough. She will learn it. It's ok if she doesn't know it now. >>For sure. My physicist brother doesn't do months, or remember birthdays, even his own. He also didn't read independently until 18. Went on to get a masters in physics. My husband, also a physicist, also gets months mixed up, and doesn't remember birthdays. That doesn't in any way make a person slow, it just means they prioritize differently than you do....
Dana
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discovery_4_life
> *** She gets embarassed at restaraunts when I have to read the menu to her and I can see her avoiding situations where it might come up.***Another idea for restaurants is to check out if the restaurant has a website and online menu. More and more places do now and while some are the just the same text menu as the restaurant, many also offer pictures of the food. Either way it would give both of you a chance to go over the menu before you went out and allow her to just ask for what she wants when you get there.
>
>** So before you get to the restaurant offer ideas about what she might order so that she doesn't have to try to read the menu.
>
> Go to a restaurant she's familiar with so that she can order without a menu. Or *you* read the menu - not *to* her but read it for yourself and say, casually to her, "Oh, they have such and such" - whatever you know she likes. That way you're not reading the menu to her, you're chatting about the menu, like you might do with anyone.**