extreme justice
Elli
Hi all -
I am looking for some advice...
My son Peter is 9 years old. He had an overwhelming amount of medical trauma as a young child. We started homeschooling/unschooling last year, partly because he frequently got into fights at school. Of course, now I wish I had always home-un-schooled.
At home he spends a lot of time playing on-line video games, which has given him the chance to improve his ability to get along with others. He can easily walk away from the game when things get too hot for him or the other players. I've watched him over the months and he is taking fewer breaks from the game and getting along better with the other players than he did when he started playing nearly a year ago. He speaks with respect to the other players now. And he exhibits leadership skills. Yay!!
I've been wondering how his on-line friendship skills might translate out of the virtual world.
The other night we took a walk and ran into some neighborhood friends. I sat on the porch with the moms and talked. He played in the yard with the kids. He lasted over an hour without incident. This would have been impossible last year. I was tickled!!
Then, three brothers from across the street arrived home and joined in the fun. One of the girls playing in the original group had a secret. She told it to one of the kids who then told it to the brothers. The next thing I know my son was asking me to tell the brothers that they need to go home because they know this secret. The little girl's mother resolved the issue with her but my son still insisted that I get the brothers to go home because they knew the secret and this upset the little girl.
It was getting dark, so the moms wrapped things up and went on home. All the way home my son told me how frustrated he felt that I didn't get the boys to go home.
He's had other issues with justice like this one. When he was four he found it nearly impossible to forgive his best friend for doing something to some other kid that my son thought was unjust. I can't remember what it was, but only time took away the sting for Peter.
Any thoughts on how to respond to my son's intense sense of justice when he asks me to intervene???
Thanks,
Elli
I am looking for some advice...
My son Peter is 9 years old. He had an overwhelming amount of medical trauma as a young child. We started homeschooling/unschooling last year, partly because he frequently got into fights at school. Of course, now I wish I had always home-un-schooled.
At home he spends a lot of time playing on-line video games, which has given him the chance to improve his ability to get along with others. He can easily walk away from the game when things get too hot for him or the other players. I've watched him over the months and he is taking fewer breaks from the game and getting along better with the other players than he did when he started playing nearly a year ago. He speaks with respect to the other players now. And he exhibits leadership skills. Yay!!
I've been wondering how his on-line friendship skills might translate out of the virtual world.
The other night we took a walk and ran into some neighborhood friends. I sat on the porch with the moms and talked. He played in the yard with the kids. He lasted over an hour without incident. This would have been impossible last year. I was tickled!!
Then, three brothers from across the street arrived home and joined in the fun. One of the girls playing in the original group had a secret. She told it to one of the kids who then told it to the brothers. The next thing I know my son was asking me to tell the brothers that they need to go home because they know this secret. The little girl's mother resolved the issue with her but my son still insisted that I get the brothers to go home because they knew the secret and this upset the little girl.
It was getting dark, so the moms wrapped things up and went on home. All the way home my son told me how frustrated he felt that I didn't get the boys to go home.
He's had other issues with justice like this one. When he was four he found it nearly impossible to forgive his best friend for doing something to some other kid that my son thought was unjust. I can't remember what it was, but only time took away the sting for Peter.
Any thoughts on how to respond to my son's intense sense of justice when he asks me to intervene???
Thanks,
Elli
Angi
In your situation, I probably would have done the same as you so I'm curious
to see what others might say on this subject. I spend a lot of time
explaining that we (adults, kids, society) cannot control other people's
actions but we can control our own actions and reactions. I use this a lot
when our oldest wants our youngest to play/do/say something and the youngest
doesn't want to participate.
Currently, our boys want to send people to jail if they do anything wrong.
Our 5 year old even wants to send people who harm the planet to jail because
"it's not nice to harm the planet."
*************************************************
* TTFN, Angi * Wife to Tim *
* homeschool@... *
* WAHM to Trysten (05/03) & Devlyn (08/04) *
*************************************************
* www.timandangi.com * www.tristarcreations.com *
*************************************************
* YIM: amboutwe * AIM: amboutwe22 *
*************************************************
to see what others might say on this subject. I spend a lot of time
explaining that we (adults, kids, society) cannot control other people's
actions but we can control our own actions and reactions. I use this a lot
when our oldest wants our youngest to play/do/say something and the youngest
doesn't want to participate.
Currently, our boys want to send people to jail if they do anything wrong.
Our 5 year old even wants to send people who harm the planet to jail because
"it's not nice to harm the planet."
*************************************************
* TTFN, Angi * Wife to Tim *
* homeschool@... *
* WAHM to Trysten (05/03) & Devlyn (08/04) *
*************************************************
* www.timandangi.com * www.tristarcreations.com *
*************************************************
* YIM: amboutwe * AIM: amboutwe22 *
*************************************************