unschooling food
Mamamole
I'm posting for a friend who is on this list but not ready to post yet :)
My friend has one daughter, who will be 6 in May. Her daughter tends to be very thin and has JRA (arthritis) for which she takes meds that negatively affect her immune system. Grandma has provided childcare since infancy and is a third primary caregiver along w/ mom and dad.
This family is new to the unschooling journey, they have been reading up on Joyce and Sandra's websites, as well as "Unconditional Parenting" and "Parenting a Free Child."
Food has been a control issue in this family. The daughter uses food to get attention (by not eating or requiring grandma to feed her spoonful by spoonful) and also does not want to disappoint the adults in her life so she will say she will eat some provided food later, but really she's saying "no" to the food without causing conflict.
There is a lot of concern focused on the child regarding what she's eating or not eating, and how much. In the past the family would pause a video until the daughter would take one bit and then start it again or use similar tactics to get her to eat.
The parents are really trying to get past this use of control on their part and to give their daughter freedom to eat what she wants when she wants it. This seems to be harder for Grandma who can be very focused on what the child has eaten and getting her to eat more.
The issue we were discussing this week was "energy food." I tried to find past posts but I couldn't find what I wanted. Could someone address sugar vs. protein as fuel for a child? This child seems to have very little interest in eating protein and that is causing concern for the adults. I remember some great posts about the fuel small children need and how it can look different from the fuel adults need.
Also, any thoughts on how to cope with fears relating to a child not eating and health issues would be wonderful.
Thanks!
Jenna
My friend has one daughter, who will be 6 in May. Her daughter tends to be very thin and has JRA (arthritis) for which she takes meds that negatively affect her immune system. Grandma has provided childcare since infancy and is a third primary caregiver along w/ mom and dad.
This family is new to the unschooling journey, they have been reading up on Joyce and Sandra's websites, as well as "Unconditional Parenting" and "Parenting a Free Child."
Food has been a control issue in this family. The daughter uses food to get attention (by not eating or requiring grandma to feed her spoonful by spoonful) and also does not want to disappoint the adults in her life so she will say she will eat some provided food later, but really she's saying "no" to the food without causing conflict.
There is a lot of concern focused on the child regarding what she's eating or not eating, and how much. In the past the family would pause a video until the daughter would take one bit and then start it again or use similar tactics to get her to eat.
The parents are really trying to get past this use of control on their part and to give their daughter freedom to eat what she wants when she wants it. This seems to be harder for Grandma who can be very focused on what the child has eaten and getting her to eat more.
The issue we were discussing this week was "energy food." I tried to find past posts but I couldn't find what I wanted. Could someone address sugar vs. protein as fuel for a child? This child seems to have very little interest in eating protein and that is causing concern for the adults. I remember some great posts about the fuel small children need and how it can look different from the fuel adults need.
Also, any thoughts on how to cope with fears relating to a child not eating and health issues would be wonderful.
Thanks!
Jenna
Schuyler
I know that somewhere I've written things on the different food needs of a child to an adult. Brain development takes more sugar and fats than it takes fibre, it's very energetically expensive, and energy that is quickly accessible, that doesn't take energy to extract, is most useful. Maintaining an adult body is very different from growing into one and the nutrient requirements needed to support that growth are very different as well. It might help to think about any pre-menstrual cravings, or pregnancy cravings a woman has. I crave red meat and chocolate sometimes when I'm pre-menstrual and when I was pregnant, my cravings for things like liver were huge, I wanted iron. Some women even go so far as eating laundry detergent or soil their cravings for minerals are so great.
There was a discussion here about research on food. It starts around http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/42176. But among the early links is one to work by LeAnn Birch that was on Scientific American Frontiers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNA3zltptmk&feature=player_embedded, a video that really is very cool at examining the ways in which parents can screw up their children's relationship to food.
Over at Always Learning there is a really nice post about food: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/message/48290, I'm gonna quote from it briefly, but it's worth going and reading the whole thing, particularly given the nature of your friend's situations:
I can ony speak for my own children, and my eldest is only ten, but in
my
experience children eat different things according to their growth
cycle: at
times they will eat vast amounts of carbs, put on a lot of weight, then
suddenly shoot up - at which point they'll eat more protein. that
observation really helped me trust that they know far better than I what
they need to eat.
Karen Swanay wrote a post about her recovery from controlling her children's food intake and how it played out in their lives. It has An Anorexic's Creed at the end which is very powerful if a bit fear-mongering. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/41340.
It's hard to search through the yahoo groups at the moment because they don't do anything more recent than some cut off date. Fortunately I keep almost everything in my inbox so can search there with some efficiency.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: Mamamole <mamamole@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, 27 March, 2010 23:41:44
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] unschooling food
I'm posting for a friend who is on this list but not ready to post yet :)
My friend has one daughter, who will be 6 in May. Her daughter tends to be very thin and has JRA (arthritis) for which she takes meds that negatively affect her immune system. Grandma has provided childcare since infancy and is a third primary caregiver along w/ mom and dad.
This family is new to the unschooling journey, they have been reading up on Joyce and Sandra's websites, as well as "Unconditional Parenting" and "Parenting a Free Child."
Food has been a control issue in this family. The daughter uses food to get attention (by not eating or requiring grandma to feed her spoonful by spoonful) and also does not want to disappoint the adults in her life so she will say she will eat some provided food later, but really she's saying "no" to the food without causing conflict.
There is a lot of concern focused on the child regarding what she's eating or not eating, and how much. In the past the family would pause a video until the daughter would take one bit and then start it again or use similar tactics to get her to eat.
The parents are really trying to get past this use of control on their part and to give their daughter freedom to eat what she wants when she wants it. This seems to be harder for Grandma who can be very focused on what the child has eaten and getting her to eat more.
The issue we were discussing this week was "energy food." I tried to find past posts but I couldn't find what I wanted. Could someone address sugar vs. protein as fuel for a child? This child seems to have very little interest in eating protein and that is causing concern for the adults. I remember some great posts about the fuel small children need and how it can look different from the fuel adults need.
Also, any thoughts on how to cope with fears relating to a child not eating and health issues would be wonderful.
Thanks!
Jenna
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
There was a discussion here about research on food. It starts around http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/42176. But among the early links is one to work by LeAnn Birch that was on Scientific American Frontiers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNA3zltptmk&feature=player_embedded, a video that really is very cool at examining the ways in which parents can screw up their children's relationship to food.
Over at Always Learning there is a really nice post about food: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/message/48290, I'm gonna quote from it briefly, but it's worth going and reading the whole thing, particularly given the nature of your friend's situations:
I can ony speak for my own children, and my eldest is only ten, but in
my
experience children eat different things according to their growth
cycle: at
times they will eat vast amounts of carbs, put on a lot of weight, then
suddenly shoot up - at which point they'll eat more protein. that
observation really helped me trust that they know far better than I what
they need to eat.
Karen Swanay wrote a post about her recovery from controlling her children's food intake and how it played out in their lives. It has An Anorexic's Creed at the end which is very powerful if a bit fear-mongering. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/41340.
It's hard to search through the yahoo groups at the moment because they don't do anything more recent than some cut off date. Fortunately I keep almost everything in my inbox so can search there with some efficiency.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: Mamamole <mamamole@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, 27 March, 2010 23:41:44
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] unschooling food
I'm posting for a friend who is on this list but not ready to post yet :)
My friend has one daughter, who will be 6 in May. Her daughter tends to be very thin and has JRA (arthritis) for which she takes meds that negatively affect her immune system. Grandma has provided childcare since infancy and is a third primary caregiver along w/ mom and dad.
This family is new to the unschooling journey, they have been reading up on Joyce and Sandra's websites, as well as "Unconditional Parenting" and "Parenting a Free Child."
Food has been a control issue in this family. The daughter uses food to get attention (by not eating or requiring grandma to feed her spoonful by spoonful) and also does not want to disappoint the adults in her life so she will say she will eat some provided food later, but really she's saying "no" to the food without causing conflict.
There is a lot of concern focused on the child regarding what she's eating or not eating, and how much. In the past the family would pause a video until the daughter would take one bit and then start it again or use similar tactics to get her to eat.
The parents are really trying to get past this use of control on their part and to give their daughter freedom to eat what she wants when she wants it. This seems to be harder for Grandma who can be very focused on what the child has eaten and getting her to eat more.
The issue we were discussing this week was "energy food." I tried to find past posts but I couldn't find what I wanted. Could someone address sugar vs. protein as fuel for a child? This child seems to have very little interest in eating protein and that is causing concern for the adults. I remember some great posts about the fuel small children need and how it can look different from the fuel adults need.
Also, any thoughts on how to cope with fears relating to a child not eating and health issues would be wonderful.
Thanks!
Jenna
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
Just talked to David about this and he said not getting enough calories is going to negatively impact her immune system as well, so better to encourage her to eat the things she wants than to have two things working against her immune system.
Schuyler
________________________________
My friend has one daughter, who will be 6 in May. Her daughter tends to be very thin and has JRA (arthritis) for which she takes meds that negatively affect her immune system.
--snip---
Also, any thoughts on how to cope with fears relating to a child not eating and health issues would be wonderful.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
________________________________
My friend has one daughter, who will be 6 in May. Her daughter tends to be very thin and has JRA (arthritis) for which she takes meds that negatively affect her immune system.
--snip---
Also, any thoughts on how to cope with fears relating to a child not eating and health issues would be wonderful.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Mamamole" <mamamole@...> wrote:
Its so much harder to believe that children really do have some useful instincts where food is concerned when there are health issues involved!
One of the ideas that helps me is to think about the effects of stress on health. Stress isn't good for digestion, it isn't good for the immunes system, it's hard on the heart and nervous system - its hard on bodies in general. That's pretty well established, not something we have to guess at.
I also have the advantage (such as it is) of remembering just How stressful it is to be the kid who doesn't want to eat what and how much adults would like. It was huge! It was the recurrent drama of my days - please eat, just one more bite, no, not until you eat. I remember sitting and looking at plates full of grotesque junk, bracing myself for the moment I'd have to choke it down. I'm not saying that to make anyone feel guilty, but in hopes that it will help someone have a little perspective on the child's side of things - its not one bit easier to Be the child who doesn't want to eat in those circumstances. The stress is excruciating.
Something else to consider with health issues in general is that little imbalances can throw off the sense of taste too, making foods with complex flavors less palatable, and simple tastes (sweet for instance, or salt) more appealing.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>> Also, any thoughts on how to cope with fears relating to a child not eating and health issues would be wonderful.**************
Its so much harder to believe that children really do have some useful instincts where food is concerned when there are health issues involved!
One of the ideas that helps me is to think about the effects of stress on health. Stress isn't good for digestion, it isn't good for the immunes system, it's hard on the heart and nervous system - its hard on bodies in general. That's pretty well established, not something we have to guess at.
I also have the advantage (such as it is) of remembering just How stressful it is to be the kid who doesn't want to eat what and how much adults would like. It was huge! It was the recurrent drama of my days - please eat, just one more bite, no, not until you eat. I remember sitting and looking at plates full of grotesque junk, bracing myself for the moment I'd have to choke it down. I'm not saying that to make anyone feel guilty, but in hopes that it will help someone have a little perspective on the child's side of things - its not one bit easier to Be the child who doesn't want to eat in those circumstances. The stress is excruciating.
Something else to consider with health issues in general is that little imbalances can throw off the sense of taste too, making foods with complex flavors less palatable, and simple tastes (sweet for instance, or salt) more appealing.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
Lyla Wolfenstein
if your friend wants to talk to me next time we see each other, or by email, i am happy to share my experiences with this topic too, which are not exactly the same, but share many factors...
i'd prefer to have a dialogue about it as i find it easier to respond to specific situations/people, than to address general situation, and since i am pretty sure i know her... :)
warmly, lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
i'd prefer to have a dialogue about it as i find it easier to respond to specific situations/people, than to address general situation, and since i am pretty sure i know her... :)
warmly, lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]