Questions about the "day to day" - long- sorry
Stacy Barnes
I'm new here and have found this list to be a wealth of info and insight. I have been reading every book on unschooling I can find, but I still have questions. I can really relate to those who want to see something "measurable" in terms of learning and it's sometimes difficult to relax and live in the moment.
We arrived in the unschooling world after ps and trying school at home. School at home didn't work well for very long and I take the responsibility for that. The order and structure greatly appealed to me, but we were not enjoying each other at all after a few months.
All along, I've read about and been drawn to unschooling. I know everyone's lives and children are different, but the one thing I read that sticks out if how the author's child/ren find their interest, their thing, usually early on in their lives, and how the parents supports it and furthers it and it continues to grow and everyone is satisfied and sees the development, etc.
I'm not really experiencing that with my children and I wonder, often, what I'm doing wrong. My children, 7 dd, and 9 ds, haven't not really found their "thing" yet. My son has an interest in technology that we support, but my efforts to introduce software, etc, are usually appreciated, but not used. He's fascinated with email, how it works, internet connections (getting the web on the wii), stuff like that, so I've organized a field trip to our local computer place that also provides internet.
My daughter is interested in ballet, so we're going to the Nutcracker this weekend and we borrowed some library books about ballet. We're also going (weather permitting) skating on Wed. and will probably try ballet lessons after the holidays.
But, having said all of that, my children just enjoy playing together and while it's pretty great how well they play and get along (mostly) I can't help but wonder if it's enough, whatever that means.
Their play is mostly re-enactments of something we've done, like flying to NC. They then play "airport" for the next three days, after they've turned the LR into airports with security, etc. We took our 7 yo to urgent care, and they played that for 2 days, with their stuffed animals, writing prescriptions, weighing everyone with our BR scales, taking temps and administering shots. Sometimes they just set up a ball game with their animals, tinkertoys for the boundaries, fun foam for uniforms, and a scoreboard. They also have their own "lego city" in a spare room downstairs. They have a population sign and all of the businesses you may find in a city. They sometimes get the Game of Life board game out and we all play, but it's nothing like it. They have their own game we play with it instead.
We also live in the country and our playdates with others are not that frequent, especially with the winter coming on. They like going to new places, and sometimes they go to a friend's house, but mostly they prefer each other.
We tried "Five in a Row" stories because I thought that might be a good way to introduce them to new places, things, etc, and they really liked it at first, but now, they seem to prefer playing to hearing a book read to them. Maybe my timing needs work on that, but they really only want to play, so maybe I should try it at bedtime?
I feel that all of this is good, and it truly does help to process info by using it yourself. I know they are processing their experiences by doing these things and every family's journey looks different. Is there more I should be doing for them? I get books at the library about different topics that I think they might like, but they usually aren't that interested.
Childhood is going by so quickly and I don't want to fail them, but after the school-at-home experience, I'm just happy to have a better, more positive relationship with them. And no, my extended family is not that supportive of unschooling, so while I'm firm with my beliefs when I talk with them, I can't always ignore the small seed of doubt they try to plant.
Anyway, any feedback would be helpful from those who know more and have experienced more than I. Thank you!!
Stacy
We arrived in the unschooling world after ps and trying school at home. School at home didn't work well for very long and I take the responsibility for that. The order and structure greatly appealed to me, but we were not enjoying each other at all after a few months.
All along, I've read about and been drawn to unschooling. I know everyone's lives and children are different, but the one thing I read that sticks out if how the author's child/ren find their interest, their thing, usually early on in their lives, and how the parents supports it and furthers it and it continues to grow and everyone is satisfied and sees the development, etc.
I'm not really experiencing that with my children and I wonder, often, what I'm doing wrong. My children, 7 dd, and 9 ds, haven't not really found their "thing" yet. My son has an interest in technology that we support, but my efforts to introduce software, etc, are usually appreciated, but not used. He's fascinated with email, how it works, internet connections (getting the web on the wii), stuff like that, so I've organized a field trip to our local computer place that also provides internet.
My daughter is interested in ballet, so we're going to the Nutcracker this weekend and we borrowed some library books about ballet. We're also going (weather permitting) skating on Wed. and will probably try ballet lessons after the holidays.
But, having said all of that, my children just enjoy playing together and while it's pretty great how well they play and get along (mostly) I can't help but wonder if it's enough, whatever that means.
Their play is mostly re-enactments of something we've done, like flying to NC. They then play "airport" for the next three days, after they've turned the LR into airports with security, etc. We took our 7 yo to urgent care, and they played that for 2 days, with their stuffed animals, writing prescriptions, weighing everyone with our BR scales, taking temps and administering shots. Sometimes they just set up a ball game with their animals, tinkertoys for the boundaries, fun foam for uniforms, and a scoreboard. They also have their own "lego city" in a spare room downstairs. They have a population sign and all of the businesses you may find in a city. They sometimes get the Game of Life board game out and we all play, but it's nothing like it. They have their own game we play with it instead.
We also live in the country and our playdates with others are not that frequent, especially with the winter coming on. They like going to new places, and sometimes they go to a friend's house, but mostly they prefer each other.
We tried "Five in a Row" stories because I thought that might be a good way to introduce them to new places, things, etc, and they really liked it at first, but now, they seem to prefer playing to hearing a book read to them. Maybe my timing needs work on that, but they really only want to play, so maybe I should try it at bedtime?
I feel that all of this is good, and it truly does help to process info by using it yourself. I know they are processing their experiences by doing these things and every family's journey looks different. Is there more I should be doing for them? I get books at the library about different topics that I think they might like, but they usually aren't that interested.
Childhood is going by so quickly and I don't want to fail them, but after the school-at-home experience, I'm just happy to have a better, more positive relationship with them. And no, my extended family is not that supportive of unschooling, so while I'm firm with my beliefs when I talk with them, I can't always ignore the small seed of doubt they try to plant.
Anyway, any feedback would be helpful from those who know more and have experienced more than I. Thank you!!
Stacy
[email protected]
I haven't been on this list long but it sounds like you are doing just fine.
Really, it is all about following your children's interests so things are
going to look different for every family. I have always been very relaxed
but there was a point in time when I tried to get involved in co-ops and do
other fun stuff like that. At the end of the day, I was frustrated and the
kids didn't get much, if anything, out of it. So, I quit obsessing about
needing to see something measurable. I quit stressing over the idea that my
kids were doing nothing but playing. I quit trying to force the issue of
going to museums or other places that had "educational" value. Instead, I
tried to find more opportunities for them to play at home, at the park, and
anywhere else.
My oldest is 8 and she loves the computer games. She plays Yoville from one
of my accounts and she will do that all day long. How do I know that she is
progressing? I watch her and I get invovled in her games. If your son likes
e-mail, maybe he can get on some of the discussion boards or find some pen
pals that he can e-mail on a regular basis. For that matter, you can start
communicating with him via e-mail on occasion. If you communicate with him
via e-mail on occasion, that will be something measurable that you can see.
My younger kids seem to prefer playing to anything else. We pick up stuff at
garage sales and thrift stores. I think my house is a giant toybox because
of all the things that we have picked up here and there for them to
incorporate into their play. We are always trying to find interesting things
to leave around the house. We have a ton of books but I also try to find
things that they can look at, touch, feel, or otherwise manipulate. If you
look around at some of the unschooling sites, you will see it referred to as
strewing. I have been doing that for a long time and never realized that it
had a name.
Instead of looking for learning opportunities, I look for opportunities for
my kids to play. There is a local homeschool group that meets at the park
once a week that has playing and connecting as its sole purpose. They end up
learning a lot from other kids in unstructured environments like the park.
Going to the park is a great way to get out of the house and still play. A
lot of people don't realize just how much a kid is learning when they are
playing.
Connie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Really, it is all about following your children's interests so things are
going to look different for every family. I have always been very relaxed
but there was a point in time when I tried to get involved in co-ops and do
other fun stuff like that. At the end of the day, I was frustrated and the
kids didn't get much, if anything, out of it. So, I quit obsessing about
needing to see something measurable. I quit stressing over the idea that my
kids were doing nothing but playing. I quit trying to force the issue of
going to museums or other places that had "educational" value. Instead, I
tried to find more opportunities for them to play at home, at the park, and
anywhere else.
My oldest is 8 and she loves the computer games. She plays Yoville from one
of my accounts and she will do that all day long. How do I know that she is
progressing? I watch her and I get invovled in her games. If your son likes
e-mail, maybe he can get on some of the discussion boards or find some pen
pals that he can e-mail on a regular basis. For that matter, you can start
communicating with him via e-mail on occasion. If you communicate with him
via e-mail on occasion, that will be something measurable that you can see.
My younger kids seem to prefer playing to anything else. We pick up stuff at
garage sales and thrift stores. I think my house is a giant toybox because
of all the things that we have picked up here and there for them to
incorporate into their play. We are always trying to find interesting things
to leave around the house. We have a ton of books but I also try to find
things that they can look at, touch, feel, or otherwise manipulate. If you
look around at some of the unschooling sites, you will see it referred to as
strewing. I have been doing that for a long time and never realized that it
had a name.
Instead of looking for learning opportunities, I look for opportunities for
my kids to play. There is a local homeschool group that meets at the park
once a week that has playing and connecting as its sole purpose. They end up
learning a lot from other kids in unstructured environments like the park.
Going to the park is a great way to get out of the house and still play. A
lot of people don't realize just how much a kid is learning when they are
playing.
Connie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Stacy Barnes" <barnes@...> wrote:
That kind of thing sure does make a good story, doesn't it? And really, that's why you see stories like that, they're satisfying to write and to read, but they don't tell the story of every unschooling family.
Ray's 16, and I have no idea what his "thing" is! In ten years I might be able to look back and say "oh, well, he was into This all along" - but "This" could be any of a dozen things, music or artwork or anything physical or anything involving caregiving. That's probably more than a dozen things, actually. Right now he's doing a lot of wood and metal working, but I have no idea if that's something he'll still be doing in ten years. He might be building bicycles (oh, he did that when he was 4! maybe that's his "thing"...).
My 8yo, Mo, loves to make anything at all out of paper, to the point where that tops our xmas list this year! That certainly is her main "thing" right now, and has been for a few year. But it has also changed over those few years in a number of ways and I have no idea if she'll still be making hoards of stuff with paper in two years, let alone another 8. At this point, she could do anything with animals, art, movement, videos, games or writing and I could say "oh, she's always done that" as if I always knew or something. Not me, not a clue.
It could very well be "enough" for now! You didn't say how long since you stopped doing school stuff, so its totally possible that they're still decompressing (deschooling) but it could be equally possible that they're finally getting to enjoy each others company and revelling in it - and that's a good thing. Its wonderful that they enjoy each other's company so well (there are moms reading your post drooling into their keyboards, believe me!). Let your Self enjoy that without looking over your shoulder wondering "is this okay"? Its great!
That being said, a little "strewing" might help liven things up a little, if such a thing is needed, so here are some ideas:
If she likes re-enacting things, maybe look into some kind of Nutcracker playset. I'm specifically thinking of the build-your-own paper stages with the paper-doll characters because Mo likes those, but I'm sure there are others types. See if your kids would like to set up a puppet theater and do their own Nutcracker - or do something more simply with the toys they have.
If she's into ballet in general, what about renting a whole bunch of movies with ballet and other kinds of dance in them? They could be recordings of theater productions or something like "Barbie in: Swan Lake". Try some old musicals with big dance numbers or documentaries about famous ballerinas, maybe.
Like what? that sounds so formal that I honestly can't wrap my mind around what you mean! Are you saying you got a new media player and he's not interested? A platform for making games and he doesn't like it? Does he just need more video games? Maybe someone else on this list can suggest something more fun or kid-friendly.
He has legos, do y'all have any motors for them? Would he like to make lego robot cars or something? There are definite "techy" tie ins to that sort of fun, if he's interested, or there's "just" the fun of being able to build things that move.
What about trains? I'm brainstorming, thinking "technology?" Trains can have fancy techy tie-ins but are also a great way to play with simple circuits. And they're Trains! We have a basic train set that periodically gets set up for the pure joy of playing with trains - sometimes even by the kids ;)
Do they not like playing while you read? Many kids can do both, you know. Ask if they'd like to try it. Also look into audio books, movies, shows. Kids can develop an interest in anywhere in the world just from watching a show set there, or with a character (or actor) from that place. Mo's interested in Japan despite never having seen a documentary about it - and I don't think we have a single Japanese children's book in the house (yet).
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>the one thing I read that sticks out if how the author's child/ren find their interest, their thing, usually early on in their lives, and how the parents supports it and furthers it and it continues to grow and everyone is satisfied and sees the development, etc.******************
That kind of thing sure does make a good story, doesn't it? And really, that's why you see stories like that, they're satisfying to write and to read, but they don't tell the story of every unschooling family.
Ray's 16, and I have no idea what his "thing" is! In ten years I might be able to look back and say "oh, well, he was into This all along" - but "This" could be any of a dozen things, music or artwork or anything physical or anything involving caregiving. That's probably more than a dozen things, actually. Right now he's doing a lot of wood and metal working, but I have no idea if that's something he'll still be doing in ten years. He might be building bicycles (oh, he did that when he was 4! maybe that's his "thing"...).
My 8yo, Mo, loves to make anything at all out of paper, to the point where that tops our xmas list this year! That certainly is her main "thing" right now, and has been for a few year. But it has also changed over those few years in a number of ways and I have no idea if she'll still be making hoards of stuff with paper in two years, let alone another 8. At this point, she could do anything with animals, art, movement, videos, games or writing and I could say "oh, she's always done that" as if I always knew or something. Not me, not a clue.
>>> But, having said all of that, my children just enjoy playing together and while it's pretty great how well they play and get along (mostly) I can't help but wonder if it's enough, whatever that means.**********************
It could very well be "enough" for now! You didn't say how long since you stopped doing school stuff, so its totally possible that they're still decompressing (deschooling) but it could be equally possible that they're finally getting to enjoy each others company and revelling in it - and that's a good thing. Its wonderful that they enjoy each other's company so well (there are moms reading your post drooling into their keyboards, believe me!). Let your Self enjoy that without looking over your shoulder wondering "is this okay"? Its great!
That being said, a little "strewing" might help liven things up a little, if such a thing is needed, so here are some ideas:
> My daughter is interested in ballet, so we're going to the Nutcracker this weekend and we borrowed some library books about ballet.*******************
If she likes re-enacting things, maybe look into some kind of Nutcracker playset. I'm specifically thinking of the build-your-own paper stages with the paper-doll characters because Mo likes those, but I'm sure there are others types. See if your kids would like to set up a puppet theater and do their own Nutcracker - or do something more simply with the toys they have.
If she's into ballet in general, what about renting a whole bunch of movies with ballet and other kinds of dance in them? They could be recordings of theater productions or something like "Barbie in: Swan Lake". Try some old musicals with big dance numbers or documentaries about famous ballerinas, maybe.
>>My son has an interest in technology that we support, but my efforts to introduce software, etc, are usually appreciated, but not used.*****************
Like what? that sounds so formal that I honestly can't wrap my mind around what you mean! Are you saying you got a new media player and he's not interested? A platform for making games and he doesn't like it? Does he just need more video games? Maybe someone else on this list can suggest something more fun or kid-friendly.
He has legos, do y'all have any motors for them? Would he like to make lego robot cars or something? There are definite "techy" tie ins to that sort of fun, if he's interested, or there's "just" the fun of being able to build things that move.
What about trains? I'm brainstorming, thinking "technology?" Trains can have fancy techy tie-ins but are also a great way to play with simple circuits. And they're Trains! We have a basic train set that periodically gets set up for the pure joy of playing with trains - sometimes even by the kids ;)
> We tried "Five in a Row" stories because I thought that might be a good way to introduce them to new places, things, etc, and they really liked it at first, but now, they seem to prefer playing to hearing a book read to them. Maybe my timing needs work on that, but they really only want to play, so maybe I should try it at bedtime?****************************
Do they not like playing while you read? Many kids can do both, you know. Ask if they'd like to try it. Also look into audio books, movies, shows. Kids can develop an interest in anywhere in the world just from watching a show set there, or with a character (or actor) from that place. Mo's interested in Japan despite never having seen a documentary about it - and I don't think we have a single Japanese children's book in the house (yet).
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
The Coffee Goddess
Stacy, since it seems like your kids love to play "stories" they've lived, perhaps they'd like to play a story you're reading? My son loved to do this when he was little--He would collect some little characters and play along with the story I was reading. Sometimes I would have to stop while he ran to get a mountain to climb or a train or a horse or whatever ;)...but in this way I could read aloud to the kids AND they could play--have you tried this? Might ask them if it sounds like fun to them :)
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ronnie
You're getting some great responses, so I just wanted to make a quick comment on this:
For example, I have for years told a story about our early experience with a reality TV show that I hated but my older daughter really wanted to watch. I whined online, other unschooling moms told me to watch it with her, I did and discovered what she liked was watching the interpersonal relationships. My story was about how even the interests you don't especially approve of can have value. But it seemed like a story about a passing interest, something that lasted the duration of the show.
Fast forward several years and that daughter, now 17, told me she's considering a career in psychology. "Of course you are," I thought. It made perfect sense! But only in retrospect. :-)
Ronnie
http://sites.google.com/site/dragonflykaizen/
> ... the one thing I read that sticks out if how the author'sFor many (most?) kids it is not *an interest* but a series of interests. And each interest that they pursue, and that you support, COUNTS, even if it lasts no longer than a two minutes question-and-answer session. As someone else said, it might only be when they're older that you'll see how these seemingly varied and unrelated interests come together.
> child/ren find their interest, their thing, usually early on
> in their lives, and how the parents supports it and furthers
> it and it continues to grow and everyone is satisfied and
> sees the development, etc.
For example, I have for years told a story about our early experience with a reality TV show that I hated but my older daughter really wanted to watch. I whined online, other unschooling moms told me to watch it with her, I did and discovered what she liked was watching the interpersonal relationships. My story was about how even the interests you don't especially approve of can have value. But it seemed like a story about a passing interest, something that lasted the duration of the show.
Fast forward several years and that daughter, now 17, told me she's considering a career in psychology. "Of course you are," I thought. It made perfect sense! But only in retrospect. :-)
Ronnie
http://sites.google.com/site/dragonflykaizen/
Jenna Robertson
:)
We are still deschooling at our house, too.
My girls love to listen to books on tape/cd and my youngest and a friend spent an entire day acting out one of the Harry Potter books, well not the entire book.
My girls stopped getting along when they were all in school. That was very sad for me because when they were younger they played for hours. My oldest hit middle school and vanished into another world leaving the younger two litteraly mourning the loss of their ringleader. Now I wouldn't say they always get along (not very realistic for any siblings) but they are enjoying each other again and sharing interests and reconnecting. If your two are connecting/reconnecting that's important and special and wonderful :)
As for learning, movies about passing interests are great ways to expand horizons. You might try "Ballet Shoes" which came out in 2007 and has Emma Watson in it (Hermione in Harry Potter - that's important to my kids...) It's rated PG - because of smoking - but none of the main characters dies (also important in my house). The story takes place in 1930's London and has a lot of history and culture to absorb.
None of my girls seem have a huge passion at this point (other than Harry Potter and going to a college that has a Quidditch team) and our days aren't very exciting if you look in our window: we haven't connected to any groups or gatherings and my girls mostly do their own thing during they day and play w/ school going friends after school when they can. As long as we are enjoying each other (most of the time) that's plenty at this moment.
:)
Jenna
"If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I would ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life."
- Rachel Carson
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We are still deschooling at our house, too.
My girls love to listen to books on tape/cd and my youngest and a friend spent an entire day acting out one of the Harry Potter books, well not the entire book.
My girls stopped getting along when they were all in school. That was very sad for me because when they were younger they played for hours. My oldest hit middle school and vanished into another world leaving the younger two litteraly mourning the loss of their ringleader. Now I wouldn't say they always get along (not very realistic for any siblings) but they are enjoying each other again and sharing interests and reconnecting. If your two are connecting/reconnecting that's important and special and wonderful :)
As for learning, movies about passing interests are great ways to expand horizons. You might try "Ballet Shoes" which came out in 2007 and has Emma Watson in it (Hermione in Harry Potter - that's important to my kids...) It's rated PG - because of smoking - but none of the main characters dies (also important in my house). The story takes place in 1930's London and has a lot of history and culture to absorb.
None of my girls seem have a huge passion at this point (other than Harry Potter and going to a college that has a Quidditch team) and our days aren't very exciting if you look in our window: we haven't connected to any groups or gatherings and my girls mostly do their own thing during they day and play w/ school going friends after school when they can. As long as we are enjoying each other (most of the time) that's plenty at this moment.
:)
Jenna
"If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I would ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life."
- Rachel Carson
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stacy Barnes
--- In [email protected], <otherstar@...> wrote:
Thank you for the suggestions. It's really helpful and helps shake my tunnel vision.
Stacy
>For that matter, you can start communicating with him via e-mail on occasion.Thanks. I do email him and dd. I've been encouraging him to email other family members, too. He also likes to use the wii to send email to relatives and they've been pretty responsive.
>If you communicate with him via e-mail on occasion, that will be something measurable
>that you can see.
> My younger kids seem to prefer playing to anything else. We pick up stuff atI need to seriously make this a priority. I love books and tend to lean toward them, but I also need to look for other avenues of learning. My son doesn't seem to enjoy reading fiction, but does like to be read to. His preferred reading is the DISH satellite manual or the cell phone manual :) But, yes, thanks for that suggestion as I need to broaden my view of sources of info.
> garage sales and thrift stores. I think my house is a giant toybox because
> of all the things that we have picked up here and there for them to
> incorporate into their play. We are always trying to find interesting things
> to leave around the house. We have a ton of books but I also try to find
> things that they can look at, touch, feel, or otherwise manipulate. If you
> look around at some of the unschooling sites, you will see it referred to as
> strewing. I have been doing that for a long time and never realized that it
> had a name.
> Instead of looking for learning opportunities, I look for opportunities forYour comment about playing really rang true for us this morning when we attended a local homeschool Christmas party. There were activities at three tables and the kids rotated through all of them. My son played bingo at the first table. The second was cookie decorating and just one for him, thank you. Then a wreath craft project. He spent most of the time with me because he wasn't interested. But when it was all over and the adults were cleaning up, the kids played tag, ran, and took off their shoes to slide across the slick floor. THAT was the best part of it for him.
> my kids to play. There is a local homeschool group that meets at the park
> once a week that has playing and connecting as its sole purpose. They end up
> learning a lot from other kids in unstructured environments like the park.
> Going to the park is a great way to get out of the house and still play. A
> lot of people don't realize just how much a kid is learning when they are
> playing.
Thank you for the suggestions. It's really helpful and helps shake my tunnel vision.
Stacy
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Stacy Barnes" <barnes@...> wrote:
Mo prefers non-fiction and manuals as well - although she's not much a fan of being read to. Last night, though, I got to snuggle in bed with her reading the manual to her new Spongebob game. It was very sweet!
We have a lot of non-fiction around the house and have scandalized family and friends by buying kits for Morgan (much "make it up yourself bias). She loves reading through the instruction books, though! And while there are some things she does Exactly by the instructions, she's also been known to redesign some of the stuff into other kinds of toys.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
> I love books and tend to lean toward them, but I also need to look for other avenues of learning. My son doesn't seem to enjoy reading fiction, but does like to be read to. His preferred reading is the DISH satellite manual or the cell phone manual :) But, yes, thanks for that suggestion as I need to broaden my view of sources of info.*******************
Mo prefers non-fiction and manuals as well - although she's not much a fan of being read to. Last night, though, I got to snuggle in bed with her reading the manual to her new Spongebob game. It was very sweet!
We have a lot of non-fiction around the house and have scandalized family and friends by buying kits for Morgan (much "make it up yourself bias). She loves reading through the instruction books, though! And while there are some things she does Exactly by the instructions, she's also been known to redesign some of the stuff into other kinds of toys.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
Stacy Barnes
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <meredith@...> wrote:
I'm sure it's enough for him and when he needs more, he'll ask or find it himself. But the difference is that I can find things for my dd that I know she cares about or is interested in, but it's harder for me with ds. He doesn't fall into the typical "user" category, or the "programmer". And I'm not disappointed or wishing he would do more, I just wish I could offer up something interesting for him on this particular adventure.
Thank for all of your feedback and help.
Stacy
>They've been out for 14 months. At first, we had school at home for about 3 mos, then stopped because our relationships were deteriorating. I've panicked over the months since, here and there, and would institute something clearly structured and "educational" and it would be okay for a few days, then not so great after the novelty wore off :)
>
> It could very well be "enough" for now! You didn't say how long since you stopped doing school stuff, so its totally possible that they're still decompressing (deschooling) but it could be equally possible that they're finally getting to enjoy each others company and revelling in it - and that's a good thing. Its wonderful that they enjoy each other's company so well (there are moms reading your post drooling into their keyboards, believe me!). Let your Self enjoy that without looking over your shoulder wondering "is this okay"? Its great!
>Thanks for the idea. I ordered the paper dolls. She'll love it.
> That being said, a little "strewing" might help liven things up a little, if such a thing is needed, so here are some ideas:
>
> > My daughter is interested in ballet, so we're going to the Nutcracker this weekend and we borrowed some library books about ballet.
> *******************
>
> If she likes re-enacting things, maybe look into some kind of Nutcracker playset. I'm specifically thinking of the build-your-own paper stages with the paper-doll characters because Mo likes those, but I'm sure there are others types. See if your kids would like to set up a puppet theater and do their own Nutcracker - or do something more simply with the toys they have.
> If she's into ballet in general, what about renting a whole bunch of movies with ballet and other kinds of dance in them? They could be recordings of theater productions or something like "Barbie in: Swan Lake". Try some old musicals with big dance numbers or documentaries about famous ballerinas, maybe.She's already watched the Barbie, but I ordered another ballet movie from our library. Thanks for the suggestion. We did try the VHS of Swan Lake, but it was a little dry for us, even though we know the story.
>I don't mean support as in "IT" support, but support in that we encourage him and try to show him new things, such as programs. I just showed him Scratch, but he really wasn't interested in it. I was thinking about showing him Flash, which I know he may not care for right now, either, but at least he'll know it's there. Right now, he enjoys signing up for emails from websites (food network, hgtv, directv, etc) and reading and forwarding them to us. We also email back and forth with him. And that's fine and he's grasping how the internet works and how email works and the options with his email account...and I have to accept that I can't always help in the way that I know how to help.
> >>My son has an interest in technology that we support, but my efforts to introduce software, etc, are usually appreciated, but not used.
> *****************
>
> Like what? that sounds so formal that I honestly can't wrap my mind around what you mean! Are you saying you got a new media player and he's not interested? A platform for making games and he doesn't like it? Does he just need more video games? Maybe someone else on this list can suggest something more fun or kid-friendly.
I'm sure it's enough for him and when he needs more, he'll ask or find it himself. But the difference is that I can find things for my dd that I know she cares about or is interested in, but it's harder for me with ds. He doesn't fall into the typical "user" category, or the "programmer". And I'm not disappointed or wishing he would do more, I just wish I could offer up something interesting for him on this particular adventure.
> He has legos, do y'all have any motors for them? Would he like to make lego robot cars or something? There are definite "techy" tie ins to that sort of fun, if he's interested, or there's "just" the fun of being able to build things that move.This is a great idea, thank you! We will definitely get this for him.
> Do they not like playing while you read?Yes, they do, and we listen to audio books in the van. They play a lot when I read and it's really cool how they actually can do both :)
Thank for all of your feedback and help.
Stacy
Stacy Barnes
--- In [email protected], The Coffee Goddess <[email protected]:
Stacy
>Thanks, Dana. It does sound like fun. My dd cuts out paper people when I read to them and they play a completely unrelated story, but that's okay. Somehow, they still do that and hear me at the same time :) But I will softly mention it and see how it goes.
> Stacy, since it seems like your kids love to play "stories" they've lived, perhaps they'd like to play a story you're reading? My son loved to do this when he was little--He would collect some little characters and play along with the story I was reading. Sometimes I would have to stop while he ran to get a mountain to climb or a train or a horse or whatever ;)...but in this way I could read aloud to the kids AND they could play--have you tried this? Might ask them if it sounds like fun to them :)
>
> Dana
Stacy
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Stacy Barnes" <barnes@...> wrote:
Have y'all looked into Myspace for him? Or Facebook for that matter, although more of the kids I know like Myspace.
---Meredith
>Right now, he enjoys signing up for emails from websites (food network, hgtv, directv, etc) and reading and forwarding them to us. We also email back and forth with him. And that's fine and he's grasping how the internet works and how email works and the options with his email account...********************
Have y'all looked into Myspace for him? Or Facebook for that matter, although more of the kids I know like Myspace.
---Meredith
The Coffee Goddess
>>Have y'all looked into Myspace for him? Or Facebook for that matter, although more of the kids I know like Myspace.>>I know there's a great glorious gob of unschooled kids on Facebook! :)
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stacy Barnes
--- In [email protected], "Ronnie" <hmsdragonfly@...> wrote:
>Thank you for pointing this out, because I wasn't seeing it this way. I was seeing their interests as either a long, continuous road, or a dead end street. Now I see that there are corners and curves on these "roads" :)
> You're getting some great responses, so I just wanted to make a quick comment on this:
>
> > ... the one thing I read that sticks out if how the author's
> > child/ren find their interest, their thing, usually early on
> > in their lives, and how the parents supports it and furthers
> > it and it continues to grow and everyone is satisfied and
> > sees the development, etc.
>
> For many (most?) kids it is not *an interest* but a series of interests. And each interest that they pursue, and that you support, COUNTS, even if it lasts no longer than a two minutes question-and-answer session. As someone else said, it might only be when they're older that you'll see how these seemingly varied and unrelated interests come together.
Stacy Barnes
--- In [email protected], Jenna Robertson <mamamole@...> wrote:
Stacy
> As for learning, movies about passing interests are great ways to expand horizons. You might try "Ballet Shoes" which came out in 2007 and has Emma Watson in it (Hermione in Harry Potter - that's important to my kids...) It's rated PG - because of smoking - but none of the main characters dies (also important in my house). The story takes place in 1930's London and has a lot of history and culture to absorb.Thanks for the movie tip. I ordered it from our library. She'll love it. I also ordered the book, "Ballet Shoes" by Noel Streatfeild. I think she'll like it, too.
> None of my girls seem have a huge passion at this point (other than Harry Potter and going to a college that has a Quidditch team) and our days aren't very exciting if you look in our window: we haven't connected to any groups or gatherings and my girls mostly do their own thing during they day and play w/ school going friends after school when they can. As long as we are enjoying each other (most of the time) that's plenty at this moment.Your perspective helps. You're right: enjoying each other is vital. Thanks for your insight and sharing of your experiences.
Stacy
plaidpanties666
Have you seen "the Red Shoes" by Kate Bush? She's a dancer who started writing music because she wanted to dance to something different. Anyway, its a twist on the old fairy tale of the cursed ballet shoes with some fun music, if y'all are interested.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Stacy Barnes" <barnes@...> wrote:
We have a technical term for it ;) Unschooling is "swirly".
---Meredith
>> Thank you for pointing this out, because I wasn't seeing it this way. I was seeing their interests as either a long, continuous road, or a dead end street. Now I see that there are corners and curves on these "roads" :)*********************
We have a technical term for it ;) Unschooling is "swirly".
---Meredith
meadowgirl11
My son (9) is on facebook - how would we find other unschooled kids on there? Or other gamer kids he could connect with online? He is just starting to get to the stage of being interested in that. He has a farm on farmville and has been trying to build a zoo, but it is too buggy a program yet. He also likes to chat if its silly and weird.
--- In [email protected], The Coffee Goddess <hoffmanwilson@...> wrote:
>
> >>Have y'all looked into Myspace for him? Or Facebook for that matter, although more of the kids I know like Myspace.>>
>
> I know there's a great glorious gob of unschooled kids on Facebook! :)
> Dana
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
meadowgirl11
Here are a couple more:
http://movies.msn.com/movies/galleryfeature/dancemovies/?photoidx=10
Billy Elliot (a great movie about trusting kids and their dreams, can't remember if it has anything not appropriate for younger audiences though)
and
http://movies.msn.com/movies/galleryfeature/dancemovies/?photoidx=11
(not ballet, but dancing, still looks cute)
http://movies.msn.com/movies/galleryfeature/dancemovies/?photoidx=10
Billy Elliot (a great movie about trusting kids and their dreams, can't remember if it has anything not appropriate for younger audiences though)
and
http://movies.msn.com/movies/galleryfeature/dancemovies/?photoidx=11
(not ballet, but dancing, still looks cute)
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <meredith@...> wrote:
>
> Have you seen "the Red Shoes" by Kate Bush? She's a dancer who started writing music because she wanted to dance to something different. Anyway, its a twist on the old fairy tale of the cursed ballet shoes with some fun music, if y'all are interested.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>
Heather
Oh! We LOVED Mad, Hot Ballroom!
heather
heather
On Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 11:05 AM, meadowgirl11 <tamithameadow@...>wrote:
>
>
> Here are a couple more:
>
> http://movies.msn.com/movies/galleryfeature/dancemovies/?photoidx=10
> Billy Elliot (a great movie about trusting kids and their dreams, can't
> remember if it has anything not appropriate for younger audiences though)
>
> and
> http://movies.msn.com/movies/galleryfeature/dancemovies/?photoidx=11
> (not ballet, but dancing, still looks cute)
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Dec 9, 2009, at 12:35 PM, meadowgirl11 wrote:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolinggamers
(I think that's it. Yahoo's having problems at the moment.)
Once he connects with some kids there, they might have Facebook pages.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Or other gamer kids he could connect with online?There's an unschooling gamers list:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolinggamers
(I think that's it. Yahoo's having problems at the moment.)
Once he connects with some kids there, they might have Facebook pages.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stacy Barnes
I really appreciate all of the suggestions and ideas from everyone.
This list is such a good source of help and the responses are very
encouraging. Thanks, again!
Stacy
This list is such a good source of help and the responses are very
encouraging. Thanks, again!
Stacy