5 year old and youtube videos
bailalibre
Iâve been a member of this list for quite a while, but just recently started to read it regularly again. Weâve been unschooling my oldest son Gabriel since he was 7 (heâs now 13), and we have a younger son, Rafi, who is 5.
Hereâs my question. Rafi and Gabriel really enjoy playing games and watching videos together. Theyâve recently been watching a lot of youtube videos that people have created using various manga and game characters. A lot of them are really amusing and creative, and even though I donât appreciate the potty humor as much as they do, it doesnât bother me. But Iâm having some issues about a couple of the videos in particular that contain significant amounts of sexist and homophobic jokes. These are videos using the characters from the Super Smash Brothers Wii game, which they both enjoy. I wasnât in the room when they first started watching them, but Rafi wants to go back to them often, and had asked me to find them for him.
Iâm confident that Gabriel understands my dislike of the sexist and homophobic references, and that he will use his own good judgment about repeating such things. Weâve had lots of opportunities to have discussions about jokes that can be hurtful to others, and Iâm not worried about him watching these videos. But Iâm not so confident that Rafi understandsâ¦
Heâs very good about other words that Iâve suggested he not use in public, swear words (that, admittedly, we use on occasion around here) but he seems to have no problem with me suggesting that he be careful about not saying things around other people that might bother them; he even gently corrects his brother sometimes :)
But he is VERY resistant to my suggestions that these youtube videos are not okay. Partly, it may be because I had a pretty strong reaction to them the first time I saw them. I tried not to overstate my case, but I said right away, âI donât like that because it has jokes in it that hurt my feelings, and say mean things about people that we loveâ. It really bothers me to see him laughing at these jokes. And, if Iâm being totally honest, I really donât want him to watch them anymore. He repeats the jokes and refrains often. He has been willing to adjust some of the phrases to make them less offensive (to me, I admit it), but some of the others he continues to repeat as they are.
I need some guidance, and maybe an attitude adjustment. Iâm having trouble figuring out why heâs okay with saying âdarn itâ instead of âdamn itâ, but he wonât let go of these other phrases. Is it my reaction to them, since I donât really care if he says âdamn itâ, I just explained to him that other people might be upset? But when he repeats sexist and homophobic jokes, *I* get upset? Help!
Gwen
Hereâs my question. Rafi and Gabriel really enjoy playing games and watching videos together. Theyâve recently been watching a lot of youtube videos that people have created using various manga and game characters. A lot of them are really amusing and creative, and even though I donât appreciate the potty humor as much as they do, it doesnât bother me. But Iâm having some issues about a couple of the videos in particular that contain significant amounts of sexist and homophobic jokes. These are videos using the characters from the Super Smash Brothers Wii game, which they both enjoy. I wasnât in the room when they first started watching them, but Rafi wants to go back to them often, and had asked me to find them for him.
Iâm confident that Gabriel understands my dislike of the sexist and homophobic references, and that he will use his own good judgment about repeating such things. Weâve had lots of opportunities to have discussions about jokes that can be hurtful to others, and Iâm not worried about him watching these videos. But Iâm not so confident that Rafi understandsâ¦
Heâs very good about other words that Iâve suggested he not use in public, swear words (that, admittedly, we use on occasion around here) but he seems to have no problem with me suggesting that he be careful about not saying things around other people that might bother them; he even gently corrects his brother sometimes :)
But he is VERY resistant to my suggestions that these youtube videos are not okay. Partly, it may be because I had a pretty strong reaction to them the first time I saw them. I tried not to overstate my case, but I said right away, âI donât like that because it has jokes in it that hurt my feelings, and say mean things about people that we loveâ. It really bothers me to see him laughing at these jokes. And, if Iâm being totally honest, I really donât want him to watch them anymore. He repeats the jokes and refrains often. He has been willing to adjust some of the phrases to make them less offensive (to me, I admit it), but some of the others he continues to repeat as they are.
I need some guidance, and maybe an attitude adjustment. Iâm having trouble figuring out why heâs okay with saying âdarn itâ instead of âdamn itâ, but he wonât let go of these other phrases. Is it my reaction to them, since I donât really care if he says âdamn itâ, I just explained to him that other people might be upset? But when he repeats sexist and homophobic jokes, *I* get upset? Help!
Gwen
Betty Porter
If it was me, I would let them continue watching them. They will get tired of them soon.
Betty in KY
Mary Kay
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Here���s my question. Rafi and Gabriel really enjoy playing games and watching videos together. They���ve recently been watching a lot of youtube videos that people have created using various manga and game characters. A lot of them are really
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betty in KY
Mary Kay
Want a FREE facial or make some extra $$ ?
Now offering LAYAWAY! Contact me today!
Betty J Porter- Ind. Beauty Consultant
www.marykay.com/bporter1966
Here���s my question. Rafi and Gabriel really enjoy playing games and watching videos together. They���ve recently been watching a lot of youtube videos that people have created using various manga and game characters. A lot of them are really
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Faith Void
On Thu, Dec 3, 2009 at 8:23 AM, bailalibre <gwendolin00@...> wrote:
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wouldn't necessarily be exposed to without a much older involved sibling.
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understand.
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And that certain words are generally less socially acceptable than others.
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control issue. Step back.
I am very against sexist, racist, etc jokes as well. SO I want you to know I
am not saying they are ok or that you should be ok with them. Can you find a
way to watch them with him. Talk (you listen mostly) about his thoughts and
feeling about the jokes. Let him guide you through his mind. Listen openly,
with no judgment. Know in your heart that he is 5, so young, and that even
if you are uncomfortable with how he feels it will change (many times) Just
listen to HIS experience. Why are these videos so engrossing to him?
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whatever fear or bad feelings my reaction caused in them. I would talk as
little as possible and listen more.
---Hey Rafi, remember when you watch that XXX video? Well i reacted very
strongly. I said some thing that may have hurt your feelings or cause you
some discomfort. I would like to say I am sorry. etc...
He likely knows on some level that you disapprove. That's got to be tough
for a little guy to stand up to his mom.
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racist/homophobic/sexist etc jokes had no consequences. Sometimes humans
need to have things repeated over and over. Not like a broken record but
understand the impact that it has on others.
When Malila was small we were in an elevator with an African American woman,
mind you she grew up in a multi-cultural neighborhood that was predominately
African American. She asked me why the woman had such dark skin and why her
was lighter in comparison. I felt so embarrassed! I was stuck on an elevator
with this HUGE question looming. I took a deep breath and focused on meeting
my child's need. I answered as openly and honestly as I could. It was short
and to the point. It lasted a brief moment but felt like forever. The woman
ended up smiling at me and not seeming offended.
What this taught me is that kids will do and say things that are out of your
control and that may be inappropriate or embarrassing. By addressing their
needs and not worrying about what others think you can move on. Sure it
would have been easier for me if she asked in front of her best friend (who
was Af. Am) but she didn't. It was all about how I handled it.
He may tell these jokes to others and they may get offended. How might you
handle that?
Faith
http://faithvoid.blogspot.com/
www.bearthmama.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>****I have three children 13, 7, and 2.
>
> I���ve been a member of this list for quite a while, but just recently
> started to read it regularly again. We���ve been unschooling my oldest son
> Gabriel since he was 7 (he���s now 13), and we have a younger son, Rafi, who
> is 5.
>
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>***I understand the dilemma of having a young child exposed to things s/he
> Here���s my question. Rafi and Gabriel really enjoy playing games and
> watching videos together. They���ve recently been watching a lot of youtube
> videos that people have created using various manga and game characters. A
> lot of them are really amusing and creative, and even though I don���t
> appreciate the potty humor as much as they do, it doesn���t bother me. But
> I���m having some issues about a couple of the videos in particular that
> contain significant amounts of sexist and homophobic jokes. These are videos
> using the characters from the Super Smash Brothers Wii game, which they both
> enjoy. I wasn���t in the room when they first started watching them, but
> Rafi wants to go back to them often, and had asked me to find them for him.
>
wouldn't necessarily be exposed to without a much older involved sibling.
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>****And he may not. It may take a while and many conversations for him to
> I���m confident that Gabriel understands my dislike of the sexist and
> homophobic references, and that he will use his own good judgment about
> repeating such things. We���ve had lots of opportunities to have discussions
> about jokes that can be hurtful to others, and I���m not worried about him
> watching these videos. But I���m not so confident that Rafi understands���
>
understand.
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> He���s very good about other words that I���ve suggested he not use in***I am hearing that Rafi is able to understand that some words hurt others.
> public, swear words (that, admittedly, we use on occasion around here) but
> he seems to have no problem with me suggesting that he be careful about not
> saying things around other people that might bother them; he even gently
> corrects his brother sometimes :)
>
And that certain words are generally less socially acceptable than others.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>***Stop suggesting. To him they are OK. It sounds like it has become a
> But he is VERY resistant to my suggestions that these youtube videos are
> not okay.
>
control issue. Step back.
I am very against sexist, racist, etc jokes as well. SO I want you to know I
am not saying they are ok or that you should be ok with them. Can you find a
way to watch them with him. Talk (you listen mostly) about his thoughts and
feeling about the jokes. Let him guide you through his mind. Listen openly,
with no judgment. Know in your heart that he is 5, so young, and that even
if you are uncomfortable with how he feels it will change (many times) Just
listen to HIS experience. Why are these videos so engrossing to him?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
> Partly, it may be because I had a pretty strong reaction to them the first***A strong reaction can cause issues. I would apologize to my child for
> time I saw them. I tried not to overstate my case, but I said right away,
> ���I don���t like that because it has jokes in it that hurt my feelings, and
> say mean things about people that we love�� . It really bothers me to see
> him laughing at these jokes. And, if I���m being totally honest, I really
> don���t want him to watch them anymore. He repeats the jokes and refrains
> often. He has been willing to adjust some of the phrases to make them less
> offensive (to me, I admit it), but some of the others he continues to repeat
> as they are.
>
whatever fear or bad feelings my reaction caused in them. I would talk as
little as possible and listen more.
---Hey Rafi, remember when you watch that XXX video? Well i reacted very
strongly. I said some thing that may have hurt your feelings or cause you
some discomfort. I would like to say I am sorry. etc...
He likely knows on some level that you disapprove. That's got to be tough
for a little guy to stand up to his mom.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>you find offensive. It wouldn't serve him well in life if you pretended that
> I need some guidance, and maybe an attitude adjustment. I���m having
> trouble figuring out why he���s okay with saying ���darn it�� instead of
> ���damn it�� , but he won���t let go of these other phrases. Is it my
> reaction to them, since I don���t really care if he says ���damn it�� , I
> just explained to him that other people might be upset? But when he repeats
> sexist and homophobic jokes, *I* get upset? Help!
>
> ***It is reasonable for you to feel upset when someone says a "joke" that
racist/homophobic/sexist etc jokes had no consequences. Sometimes humans
need to have things repeated over and over. Not like a broken record but
understand the impact that it has on others.
When Malila was small we were in an elevator with an African American woman,
mind you she grew up in a multi-cultural neighborhood that was predominately
African American. She asked me why the woman had such dark skin and why her
was lighter in comparison. I felt so embarrassed! I was stuck on an elevator
with this HUGE question looming. I took a deep breath and focused on meeting
my child's need. I answered as openly and honestly as I could. It was short
and to the point. It lasted a brief moment but felt like forever. The woman
ended up smiling at me and not seeming offended.
What this taught me is that kids will do and say things that are out of your
control and that may be inappropriate or embarrassing. By addressing their
needs and not worrying about what others think you can move on. Sure it
would have been easier for me if she asked in front of her best friend (who
was Af. Am) but she didn't. It was all about how I handled it.
He may tell these jokes to others and they may get offended. How might you
handle that?
Faith
>--
>
http://faithvoid.blogspot.com/
www.bearthmama.com
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