Unschooling quesion.
tatyland_usa
Hello,
I am new in this group and new to the idea of unschooling. I have a baby and of course he is been unschool :-). But my question are:
- Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.
- How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization with the same and opposite sex?
- How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you tell them you are homeschooling your children.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this email!!
Thanks
Monica
I am new in this group and new to the idea of unschooling. I have a baby and of course he is been unschool :-). But my question are:
- Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.
- How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization with the same and opposite sex?
- How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you tell them you are homeschooling your children.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this email!!
Thanks
Monica
Kelly Lovejoy
I have two boys, 21 and 13.
-Cameron, the 21 year old, is quite emotionally and socially stable. More so than his schooled peers. He has spoken/is speaking at unschooling conferences all over the US and is hosting his own conference in SC in March of 2010. He has "sat in" on two college courses but has no desire to attend. Several unschoolers have attended and graduated college. Cameron has traveled extensively and has more trips planned.
-They get to socialize with people of ALL ages, all races, and both genders; folks with different political views, sexual orientations, and ethnic backgrounds. Many have boyfriends/girlfriends. How do they do it? They don't stay locked in a building (school or home) all day.
-"Please pass the bean dip." (It's NONE of their business; change the subject.)
?~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson
-----Original Message-----
From: tatyland_usa <tatyland_usa@...>
Hello,
I am new in this group and new to the idea of unschooling. I have a baby and of
course he is been unschool :-). But my question are:
- Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me
how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are
happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college
or are planing to go.
- How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization with
the same and opposite sex?
- How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you tell them
you are homeschooling your children.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this email!!
Thanks
Monica
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-Cameron, the 21 year old, is quite emotionally and socially stable. More so than his schooled peers. He has spoken/is speaking at unschooling conferences all over the US and is hosting his own conference in SC in March of 2010. He has "sat in" on two college courses but has no desire to attend. Several unschoolers have attended and graduated college. Cameron has traveled extensively and has more trips planned.
-They get to socialize with people of ALL ages, all races, and both genders; folks with different political views, sexual orientations, and ethnic backgrounds. Many have boyfriends/girlfriends. How do they do it? They don't stay locked in a building (school or home) all day.
-"Please pass the bean dip." (It's NONE of their business; change the subject.)
?~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson
-----Original Message-----
From: tatyland_usa <tatyland_usa@...>
Hello,
I am new in this group and new to the idea of unschooling. I have a baby and of
course he is been unschool :-). But my question are:
- Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me
how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are
happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college
or are planing to go.
- How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization with
the same and opposite sex?
- How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you tell them
you are homeschooling your children.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this email!!
Thanks
Monica
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Monica Van Stelton
Thank you Kelly!
It is impressive that your son has conferences and travels. I had a speech class and the teacher said some people has more fear of public speaking than dying! I guess that school is to blame a bit because, and it happened to me, when you ask a question or say anything other children may say that you are asking stupid questions just because they are not smart enough to understand the question or just playing mean. That kind of attitudes make you stop wanting to ask questions or fear public speaking I think.
Anyway, thank you again for sharing your time with me.
Monica
It is impressive that your son has conferences and travels. I had a speech class and the teacher said some people has more fear of public speaking than dying! I guess that school is to blame a bit because, and it happened to me, when you ask a question or say anything other children may say that you are asking stupid questions just because they are not smart enough to understand the question or just playing mean. That kind of attitudes make you stop wanting to ask questions or fear public speaking I think.
Anyway, thank you again for sharing your time with me.
Monica
--- On Sun, 10/11/09, Kelly Lovejoy <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
From: Kelly Lovejoy <kbcdlovejo@...>
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Unschooling quesion.
To: [email protected]
Date: Sunday, October 11, 2009, 6:25 AM
I have two boys, 21 and 13.
-Cameron, the 21 year old, is quite emotionally and socially stable. More so than his schooled peers. He has spoken/is speaking at unschooling conferences all over the US and is hosting his own conference in SC in March of 2010. He has "sat in" on two college courses but has no desire to attend. Several unschoolers have attended and graduated college. Cameron has traveled extensively and has more trips planned.
-They get to socialize with people of ALL ages, all races, and both genders; folks with different political views, sexual orientations, and ethnic backgrounds. Many have boyfriends/girlfrie nds. How do they do it? They don't stay locked in a building (school or home) all day.
-"Please pass the bean dip." (It's NONE of their business; change the subject.)
?~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson
-----Original Message-----
From: tatyland_usa <tatyland_usa@ yahoo.com>
Hello,
I am new in this group and new to the idea of unschooling. I have a baby and of
course he is been unschool :-). But my question are:
- Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me
how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are
happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college
or are planing to go.
- How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization with
the same and opposite sex?
- How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you tell them
you are homeschooling your children.
Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this email!!
Thanks
Monica
------------ --------- --------- ------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "tatyland_usa" <tatyland_usa@...> wrote:
Monica, I have one kid who is close to the technical "end" of his unschooling journey - he's sixteen, so legally there are a couple years to go. He's sooooooo much happier now then he ever was in school. He's done a lot of healing in the past few years, gone from hating pretty much everything to being really enthusiastic about life and learning. He has no regrets about unschooling, has more and better friends than he ever did in school and is starting to actively move forward on some possible career paths.
Ray doesn't plan to go to college at this point, but that could change. He knows there's not rule that says college starts at 18 or never. If he wants/needs a few college classes or a degree, that door is open in his mind. It wasn't when he was in school. The last conversation we had with the principle we were told Ray was on "the prison track". If nothing else, we have succeeded where school failed miserably in that regard. Ray's probalby the most stable, responsible 16yo male in the county.
Currently Ray's studying decorative and functional metalwork (including jewelry making) and woodwork. He's found local professional craftspeople to take classes with and/or apprentice with. Classes we either pay for or work out a work-exchange with the craftsperson. Locally there is the Appalachian Center for Crafts that offers some classes. If I had to guess, I'd say its likely Ray might find himself doing that at some point. Of course, knowing the school, there's also a chance he could end up teaching there at some point, whether or not he ever takes a class there.
Keep in mind that "homeschool" doesn't mean you're stuck at home! My kids get more chances to actually socialize, to connect with people with similar interests, than they would if they were in school - and that's with us living in the middle of nowhere and not getting out as much as we'd always like. Ray has mostly adult social connections, but through them he has met a number of people in their teens and twenties with whom he has a lot in common. In school he had one thing in common with his "friends" and that was hating school and feeling like an outcast. Now he has friends who share his interests, passions, questions about life, concerns about the world. His friends are people who, like him, aren't stuck in a school building all day. Most of them, like him, don't have to "answer" to anyone out of anything other than friendly courtesy. Some of his friends are female, some are male.
I'm very good at exuding confidence in my decisions. Its something to practice if you're not. I say "we homeschool" matter-of-factly, and when people ask questions I speak glowingly of my kids. Its not hard, I adore them and love to talk about them! So I channel all of that into telling stories of kids doing fun things, learning independently, since that seems to help people understand, learning things that school kids typically don't, since that helps too. Talking about pulling down the microscope on a whim if someone cuts a finger helps non-homeschoolers get the idea of what learning out of the box can look like. Talking about reading together in a hammock, or figuring sales and taxes at the store together helps, too. My goal is not to either be on the defensive or put anyone else there, either, but to open a little peep-hole into the wonderful life my kids are living.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>> - Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.**********************
Monica, I have one kid who is close to the technical "end" of his unschooling journey - he's sixteen, so legally there are a couple years to go. He's sooooooo much happier now then he ever was in school. He's done a lot of healing in the past few years, gone from hating pretty much everything to being really enthusiastic about life and learning. He has no regrets about unschooling, has more and better friends than he ever did in school and is starting to actively move forward on some possible career paths.
Ray doesn't plan to go to college at this point, but that could change. He knows there's not rule that says college starts at 18 or never. If he wants/needs a few college classes or a degree, that door is open in his mind. It wasn't when he was in school. The last conversation we had with the principle we were told Ray was on "the prison track". If nothing else, we have succeeded where school failed miserably in that regard. Ray's probalby the most stable, responsible 16yo male in the county.
Currently Ray's studying decorative and functional metalwork (including jewelry making) and woodwork. He's found local professional craftspeople to take classes with and/or apprentice with. Classes we either pay for or work out a work-exchange with the craftsperson. Locally there is the Appalachian Center for Crafts that offers some classes. If I had to guess, I'd say its likely Ray might find himself doing that at some point. Of course, knowing the school, there's also a chance he could end up teaching there at some point, whether or not he ever takes a class there.
> - How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization with the same and opposite sex?****************
Keep in mind that "homeschool" doesn't mean you're stuck at home! My kids get more chances to actually socialize, to connect with people with similar interests, than they would if they were in school - and that's with us living in the middle of nowhere and not getting out as much as we'd always like. Ray has mostly adult social connections, but through them he has met a number of people in their teens and twenties with whom he has a lot in common. In school he had one thing in common with his "friends" and that was hating school and feeling like an outcast. Now he has friends who share his interests, passions, questions about life, concerns about the world. His friends are people who, like him, aren't stuck in a school building all day. Most of them, like him, don't have to "answer" to anyone out of anything other than friendly courtesy. Some of his friends are female, some are male.
> - How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you tell them you are homeschooling your children.********************
I'm very good at exuding confidence in my decisions. Its something to practice if you're not. I say "we homeschool" matter-of-factly, and when people ask questions I speak glowingly of my kids. Its not hard, I adore them and love to talk about them! So I channel all of that into telling stories of kids doing fun things, learning independently, since that seems to help people understand, learning things that school kids typically don't, since that helps too. Talking about pulling down the microscope on a whim if someone cuts a finger helps non-homeschoolers get the idea of what learning out of the box can look like. Talking about reading together in a hammock, or figuring sales and taxes at the store together helps, too. My goal is not to either be on the defensive or put anyone else there, either, but to open a little peep-hole into the wonderful life my kids are living.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
Faith Void Taintor
Sent from my iPhone
On Oct 11, 2009, at 1:51 AM, "tatyland_usa" <tatyland_usa@...>
wrote:
growing or learning. I don't expect them to "turn out". All my
children are as social as they want to be. They are all articulate and
capable of engaging with other humans individually or with groups.
They are around people of all ages, races, economic statuses, sexual
orientation.etc. Life is diverse. They are not socislized in a way
that most school kids are, homogeized peer culture.
Also my kids are freely living their life right now. They don't have
to wait until after high school or college to live their own life.
It's amazing. My dd12 is a writer. It's not something she hopes to
become. She's writing a novel now.
Right now we are at a gathering of unschoolers. We are innundated with
social opportunities. They will leave the condo and seek people out or
will ask to stay in if they need space. I fond that because I listen
to my kids they feel free to tell me what they find out through
listening to themselves.
subject.
There are a few family members none of us seek out anymore and we
rarely see them. There are a couple family members we specifically
don't see any more. This is more about being around people who bring
joy into your life than unschooling specific. There were people in my
life that crossed the boundary into abuse that I didn't want my kids
around.
teacher. Children are experts on themselves. Through them you can
become an expert on them.
Faith
On Oct 11, 2009, at 1:51 AM, "tatyland_usa" <tatyland_usa@...>
wrote:
> Hello,We are not at the end but I don't except my children to ever stop
>
> I am new in this group and new to the idea of unschooling. I have a
> baby and of course he is been unschool :-). But my question are:
>
> - Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and
> can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally.
> Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret
> it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.
>
growing or learning. I don't expect them to "turn out". All my
children are as social as they want to be. They are all articulate and
capable of engaging with other humans individually or with groups.
They are around people of all ages, races, economic statuses, sexual
orientation.etc. Life is diverse. They are not socislized in a way
that most school kids are, homogeized peer culture.
Also my kids are freely living their life right now. They don't have
to wait until after high school or college to live their own life.
It's amazing. My dd12 is a writer. It's not something she hopes to
become. She's writing a novel now.
>I listen to their needs and meet them to the best of our ability.
> - How do you make sure that your children are getting enough
> socialization with the same and opposite sex?
>
Right now we are at a gathering of unschoolers. We are innundated with
social opportunities. They will leave the condo and seek people out or
will ask to stay in if they need space. I fond that because I listen
to my kids they feel free to tell me what they find out through
listening to themselves.
>Most I just smile and say this is working for us. Then change the
> - How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when
> you tell them you are homeschooling your children.
>
subject.
There are a few family members none of us seek out anymore and we
rarely see them. There are a couple family members we specifically
don't see any more. This is more about being around people who bring
joy into your life than unschooling specific. There were people in my
life that crossed the boundary into abuse that I didn't want my kids
around.
>Best wishes Monica. Listen to your baby s/he will be your best
> Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this email!!
>
> Thanks
>
> Monica
>
teacher. Children are experts on themselves. Through them you can
become an expert on them.
Faith
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Chris Sanders
> Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey andMy unschooled son is 18 and has been taking online community college
> > can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally.
> > Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret
> > it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.
> >
courses since he was 16 -- just a couple at a time. Now, though, he
has a plan to apply those college course credits towards a degree. He
will transfer to a 4-year state college in the fall of 2011 as a
junior. Without even planning or trying, it turns out he'll be on the
same schedule as his same-aged high schooled friends who graduated and
started college this year. He's doing this all of his own choice and
without ever stepping into a high school.
Zach is quite introverted and so his social needs are met through
occasional one-on-one get togethers with just a few close friends.
He's perfectly content with his social life and emotionally, he's very
stable and mature. He was a valued employee at a used video game store
for almost a year last year. He quit to focus more time and effort on
his studies. He's pretty pleasant to have around the house. He can
be entertaining and participate with adults as well as be silly and
fun with younger kids. He and his younger sister (almost 12) get
along great most of the time and are very close.
I've asked him his feelings and thoughts about having been unschooled
and he has is glad that we chose that path for him. He hopes to
unschool his own children some day.
Chris
Radically Unschooling in Iowa
The Unzone
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
JJ
This list has wonderful message archives and I encourage everyone to use them, especially new folks but I use them a lot too, to keep from starting over from scratch after all these years, every time the same question comes up.
(My secret exposed!) ;-)
So I was looking for something I might have posted before about my own older unschooled children. I went to "messages" in the left-hand menu, clicked it, got the search box and typed in the first three words that came to mind: "older unschool success"
Pages and pages of posts! I didn't even bother to find my own, when I saw this one from 2005:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/3637
But try it yourself and enjoy!
JJ
(My secret exposed!) ;-)
So I was looking for something I might have posted before about my own older unschooled children. I went to "messages" in the left-hand menu, clicked it, got the search box and typed in the first three words that came to mind: "older unschool success"
Pages and pages of posts! I didn't even bother to find my own, when I saw this one from 2005:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/3637
But try it yourself and enjoy!
JJ
> Monica <tatyland_usa@...> wrote:
>
> - Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.
>
Beth Williams
> Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey andI don't have older kids, [although my soon to be 9 year old just told me she
> > can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally.
> > Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret
> > it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.
plans to unschool her children --she says she's happy with it] so I can't
add in that way, and I hope I'm not going totally off topic w/ this, but
lately I've been thinking about how interesting it is that people don't ask
these questions about "schooled" kids. And yet I know many people who have
been schooled, go to college, and don't use the degree they got, or never
finished, and followed their heart instead. Or, on the flip side, are
terribly lost and can't figure out what to do w/ their lives. Many sound
very much like the replies by the parents of older unschooled kids. I kind
of think, like w/ reading....everyone ends up at the "same"/similar (?)
place eventually --as in...they all learn to read whether it's at 5 or 13,
they all find their path to happiness, school or no school.
I met a woman the other night whose son graduated in June from a "good"
university, after 5 years, w/ a BS + MS. He has no interest in working.
When I met him I asked if there was something he loved to do, a hobby, that
he could make money doing. He said he likes to sleep and watch TV. He
looked miserably unhappy (I realize that's a judgement). Sounds like he's
de-schooling (which I can't imagine his mainstream parents being too happy
about). I can't help but wonder what he'd be doing now if he was given this
opportunity earlier. This is not the first mid-20's young man I've met like
this lately (and I know at least one that is HIGHLY depressed). I hope it's
not too late for these people to find happiness. IMO there are certain
societal expectations that can be dangerous but are disguised as good.
I guess I just wonder about the sort of "burden of proof" that our society
seems to place on the Unschooled but not on the Schooled. Not all kids that
go to school are emotionally OK, not all socialization in school is OK/good
(and each child reacts differently to circumstances). I understand, it's
natural to worry about what's in uncharted waters though and I too always
love to hear what grown Unschoolers are doing. But still -either way, it
gives me no guarantees about my kids. Ultimately we just have to trust
ourselves and our kids.
beth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elizabeth
So, my name is Beth Joling (Winslow) and I'm pretty new here.....I just wanted to add something to the question or conversation.... for years, until this year in fact, my kids have gone to public school. Without going into all the details, one of my children has chosen to 'unschool'. My other son goes to what they call a "small school"....anyways...here's what "sold" me on unschooling.... I went to LIG this passed May to see my friend Ginger Sabo...she and I went to high school together and this was a chance for the two of us to meet up after 20+ years separation, if you will. I was worried that I was going to be around all these kids, LOL....I like kids a lot...but I mostly like my kids :). Anyways...I was concerned....Here I'm going to be at a hotel, for almost 5 days with hundreds of people I don't know...kids fighting and picking on each other...little kids whining and crying...ugh, I was not prepared for this...but I really wanted to see Ging, so of course I went. Now....I get there, with my preconcieved ideas....prepared for the worst now.... and it never came to fruition. Here are all these kids.... frikkin' amazing kids...taking my kids in, little kids, older kids, with no lines of separation. Everyone played together and just hung out.... no fighting, no bullying, nothing negative. Weird, LOL. What a great week...but surely these kids are just on their best behavior. And then a month or so later, some of the local unschoolers and my boys got together. When Jacinta and Shonna dropped my boys home, all these kids...5 years old to 16 years old, playing in my yard... wth? Really? It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Kids who are unschooled don't discriminate age groups. And so many other things....I don't know if this was the appropriate place to post this....but I'm doin' it anyways....I don't see the journey to learning ever stopping...I learn all the time--constantly! I mean, c'mon, just a few months ago, I was wrong... you can get tons of kids and adults with different age groups and whatnot together and it IS lovely and beautiful and so, so amazing!!!
Yeah..... pretty cool journey!
~Beth
Yeah..... pretty cool journey!
~Beth
--- In [email protected], Beth Williams <beth.s.williams@...> wrote:
>
> > Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and
> > > can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally.
> > > Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret
> > > it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.
>
>
> I don't have older kids, [although my soon to be 9 year old just told me she
> plans to unschool her children --she says she's happy with it] so I can't
> add in that way, and I hope I'm not going totally off topic w/ this, but
> lately I've been thinking about how interesting it is that people don't ask
> these questions about "schooled" kids. And yet I know many people who have
> been schooled, go to college, and don't use the degree they got, or never
> finished, and followed their heart instead. Or, on the flip side, are
> terribly lost and can't figure out what to do w/ their lives. Many sound
> very much like the replies by the parents of older unschooled kids. I kind
> of think, like w/ reading....everyone ends up at the "same"/similar (?)
> place eventually --as in...they all learn to read whether it's at 5 or 13,
> they all find their path to happiness, school or no school.
> I met a woman the other night whose son graduated in June from a "good"
> university, after 5 years, w/ a BS + MS. He has no interest in working.
> When I met him I asked if there was something he loved to do, a hobby, that
> he could make money doing. He said he likes to sleep and watch TV. He
> looked miserably unhappy (I realize that's a judgement). Sounds like he's
> de-schooling (which I can't imagine his mainstream parents being too happy
> about). I can't help but wonder what he'd be doing now if he was given this
> opportunity earlier. This is not the first mid-20's young man I've met like
> this lately (and I know at least one that is HIGHLY depressed). I hope it's
> not too late for these people to find happiness. IMO there are certain
> societal expectations that can be dangerous but are disguised as good.
>
> I guess I just wonder about the sort of "burden of proof" that our society
> seems to place on the Unschooled but not on the Schooled. Not all kids that
> go to school are emotionally OK, not all socialization in school is OK/good
> (and each child reacts differently to circumstances). I understand, it's
> natural to worry about what's in uncharted waters though and I too always
> love to hear what grown Unschoolers are doing. But still -either way, it
> gives me no guarantees about my kids. Ultimately we just have to trust
> ourselves and our kids.
>
> beth
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
gruvystarchild
I'm only answering these partially...I'll explain later;
~~Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.~~
I have four children, two of which are "done" in the sense that they aren't under compulsory law any longer (or not much longer). Trevor is almost 20 and Jared is 16.
~~How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization with the same and opposite sex?~~
How do you make sure you get enough socialization? Seriously. How DO adults get "enough"? What kind of things do people do for socializing in the real world? Socialization is not really the goal of schools nor is it done well there.
~~How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you tell them you are homeschooling your children.~~
I've been at this a long time. I truly don't give a hoot what anyone thinks or says anymore.
So here's what these questions make me think....that people new to unschooling don't even know what questions to ask. Don't take this wrong! I don't mean this in a rude way...honest. I vaguely remember wondering about these things 17 and 18 years ago.
But once you've been out of the school system and school-think for a long time, you see the world from such a different place.
College isn't anything I care about. I care about fulfillment. Socializing? Well that is done better with a variety of ages...I can't understand why everyone in the world can't see that.
I think that in order to truly understand unschooling, one needs to know what kind of questions to ask. Forget about college and socialization and relatives for a minute. Think deeper than that.
What kind of things do you really hope your children will get out of this life? What dreams do you have for yourself? What kind of human beings do you hope to assist in this journey?
The real questions are more important. Creating rich experiences that make you stop and think, that awaken you are what we want. Close connections to family, healthy, respectful relationships are what we want. Raising human beings who can analyze and think for themselves, who can question and care, are what we want. I'm speaking for myself and my family here.
College and socializing aren't the important things when you have a one-way ticket to the grave. It's the esoteric stuff that makes life worth living that unschooling truly answers. You've got to change the questions if you're going to get a grasp on what unschooling does that is so amazing and life changing.
Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com
~~Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many are going to college or are planing to go.~~
I have four children, two of which are "done" in the sense that they aren't under compulsory law any longer (or not much longer). Trevor is almost 20 and Jared is 16.
~~How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization with the same and opposite sex?~~
How do you make sure you get enough socialization? Seriously. How DO adults get "enough"? What kind of things do people do for socializing in the real world? Socialization is not really the goal of schools nor is it done well there.
~~How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you tell them you are homeschooling your children.~~
I've been at this a long time. I truly don't give a hoot what anyone thinks or says anymore.
So here's what these questions make me think....that people new to unschooling don't even know what questions to ask. Don't take this wrong! I don't mean this in a rude way...honest. I vaguely remember wondering about these things 17 and 18 years ago.
But once you've been out of the school system and school-think for a long time, you see the world from such a different place.
College isn't anything I care about. I care about fulfillment. Socializing? Well that is done better with a variety of ages...I can't understand why everyone in the world can't see that.
I think that in order to truly understand unschooling, one needs to know what kind of questions to ask. Forget about college and socialization and relatives for a minute. Think deeper than that.
What kind of things do you really hope your children will get out of this life? What dreams do you have for yourself? What kind of human beings do you hope to assist in this journey?
The real questions are more important. Creating rich experiences that make you stop and think, that awaken you are what we want. Close connections to family, healthy, respectful relationships are what we want. Raising human beings who can analyze and think for themselves, who can question and care, are what we want. I'm speaking for myself and my family here.
College and socializing aren't the important things when you have a one-way ticket to the grave. It's the esoteric stuff that makes life worth living that unschooling truly answers. You've got to change the questions if you're going to get a grasp on what unschooling does that is so amazing and life changing.
Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com
Debra Rossing
>[although my soon to be 9 year old just told me she plans to unschoolher children
DS (11) has said that a time or three too. On occasion, he's even said
(while discussing what kinds of jobs he might like to have) that if he
marries someone with a good job, he can stay home and unschool the kids
(for the record, DH is the at home parent since DS was 2, I work outside
the home fulltime).
Deb R
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[email protected]
- Is anybody in this group at the end of the unschooling journey and can
tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the
appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many
are going to college or are planing to go.
Hi Monica :)
I have a 20 year old who attends a very unschoolyish alternative college
(low residency, everyone designs their own major and curriculum.) He'll
finish early because while he was still in "high school" he took a bunch of
college courses.
Julian is a musician and he's also making an album right now. We unschooled
from the moment he left the third grade, and he has never, for one moment,
regretted it.
He's turned out very well:) He's smart and funny and curious and creative
and nice.
- How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization
with the same and opposite sex?
That's rarely been a problem. One of the things that has helped us is to
connect at conferences. I encourage you to do this if you possibly can (and
not just because I organize conferences.)
- How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you
tell them you are homeschooling your children.
Depends who they are and how often you see them. Sometimes I'll offer
information or reading; sometimes you just wait. My ex-mother-in-law eventually
acknowledged that homeschooling was great for Julian. This is a retired
public school teacher who HATED me.
Kathryn
Come to the Northeast Unschooling Conference in Wakefield, Massachusetts
_www.northeastunschoolingconference.com_
(http://www.northeastunschoolingconference.com/)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
tell me how do your children came out socially and emotionally. Do the
appreciate or are happy they were unschooled or they regret it...and how many
are going to college or are planing to go.
Hi Monica :)
I have a 20 year old who attends a very unschoolyish alternative college
(low residency, everyone designs their own major and curriculum.) He'll
finish early because while he was still in "high school" he took a bunch of
college courses.
Julian is a musician and he's also making an album right now. We unschooled
from the moment he left the third grade, and he has never, for one moment,
regretted it.
He's turned out very well:) He's smart and funny and curious and creative
and nice.
- How do you make sure that your children are getting enough socialization
with the same and opposite sex?
That's rarely been a problem. One of the things that has helped us is to
connect at conferences. I encourage you to do this if you possibly can (and
not just because I organize conferences.)
- How do you deal with family or people that raise an eyebrow when you
tell them you are homeschooling your children.
Depends who they are and how often you see them. Sometimes I'll offer
information or reading; sometimes you just wait. My ex-mother-in-law eventually
acknowledged that homeschooling was great for Julian. This is a retired
public school teacher who HATED me.
Kathryn
Come to the Northeast Unschooling Conference in Wakefield, Massachusetts
_www.northeastunschoolingconference.com_
(http://www.northeastunschoolingconference.com/)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
AnnoraG
--- In [email protected], "gruvystarchild" <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
> I think that in order to truly understand unschooling, one needs to know what kind of questions to ask. Forget about college and socialization and relatives for a minute. Think deeper than that.I really like this post. From the moment I entered the world of unschooling yahoo groups and blogs, I have had a Mark Twain quote running through my mind. "Having lost sight of our goals, we redouble our efforts." I get frustrated with both Q&A when it seems to revolve so much around how to "do," how to "act," and how to fit into the system that we have supposedly rejected, or merely seems like a search for or an offering of a new system to fit into. I guess I naively made the assumption that the people I would encounter already had the same drive as me and the same attitude toward their children. I see that you do, I get where you're coming from, and I love your last paragraph especially.
> What kind of things do you really hope your children will get out of this life? What dreams do you have for yourself? What kind of human beings do you hope to assist in this journey? >
> The real questions are more important. Creating rich experiences that make you stop and think, that awaken you are what we want. Close connections to family, healthy, respectful relationships are what we want. Raising human beings who can analyze and think for themselves, who can question and care, are what we want. I'm speaking for myself and my family here.>
> College and socializing aren't the important things when you have a one-way ticket to the grave. It's the esoteric stuff that makes life worth living that unschooling truly answers. You've got to change the questions if you're going to get a grasp on what unschooling does that is so amazing and life changing.
Monica Van Stelton
Hello,
I wanted to thank you all for the response to my email about unschooling question I posted.
It all make sense. Unschooling is the real world where things and learning happens. I remember when I finished high school. I had no idea what to do, which path to take...All those years of schooling I was told what to do, when to do it and how...And when I was done I felt like I was dropped in the ocean without the proper skills to swim! So now that I think about it, it makes total sense that school doesn't prepare you for the real world but being part of the real world prepares you to get better at being part of it.
It wasn't until I went to college to become a teacher and now that I have my own son I realize that there better ways to live than being part of the school system which is made for a large group but not for any of us in particular. The more observations I did in different schools the more I suffer for all those kids that have no option but to be there...I was one of them and if I had a choice I would prefer to be home schooled or unschooled.
Anyway, I never knew or crossed my mind that we had a choice. Never before I heard about unschooling or homeschooling and when I did I thought it was weird but interesting. I am in the process of de-schooling my brain, which is not that easy if one takes in consideration I've been schooled since I was 3 years old. And it so pathetic that after 19 years of being schooled I still don't have the tools/degree to succeed economically. And even if I had the tools I needed, now that I have a son I already got the best degree of all: motherhood and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Now can you tell me how 19 years of schooling enriched my life? I'd say probably not much.
As one of the group members said unschooling is uncharted territory for me and it makes me feel excited on one hand but worried on the other. I guess we all want to make the best decisions for our children...Maybe one day he can make his own decision about this subject.
Thanks again!
Monica
I wanted to thank you all for the response to my email about unschooling question I posted.
It all make sense. Unschooling is the real world where things and learning happens. I remember when I finished high school. I had no idea what to do, which path to take...All those years of schooling I was told what to do, when to do it and how...And when I was done I felt like I was dropped in the ocean without the proper skills to swim! So now that I think about it, it makes total sense that school doesn't prepare you for the real world but being part of the real world prepares you to get better at being part of it.
It wasn't until I went to college to become a teacher and now that I have my own son I realize that there better ways to live than being part of the school system which is made for a large group but not for any of us in particular. The more observations I did in different schools the more I suffer for all those kids that have no option but to be there...I was one of them and if I had a choice I would prefer to be home schooled or unschooled.
Anyway, I never knew or crossed my mind that we had a choice. Never before I heard about unschooling or homeschooling and when I did I thought it was weird but interesting. I am in the process of de-schooling my brain, which is not that easy if one takes in consideration I've been schooled since I was 3 years old. And it so pathetic that after 19 years of being schooled I still don't have the tools/degree to succeed economically. And even if I had the tools I needed, now that I have a son I already got the best degree of all: motherhood and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Now can you tell me how 19 years of schooling enriched my life? I'd say probably not much.
As one of the group members said unschooling is uncharted territory for me and it makes me feel excited on one hand but worried on the other. I guess we all want to make the best decisions for our children...Maybe one day he can make his own decision about this subject.
Thanks again!
Monica
--- On Tue, 10/13/09, AnnoraG <ms_apg@...> wrote:
From: AnnoraG <ms_apg@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Unschooling quesion.
To: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 10:37 AM
--- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com, "gruvystarchild" <starsuncloud@ ...> wrote:
> I think that in order to truly understand unschooling, one needs to know what kind of questions to ask. Forget about college and socialization and relatives for a minute. Think deeper than that.
> What kind of things do you really hope your children will get out of this life? What dreams do you have for yourself? What kind of human beings do you hope to assist in this journey? >
> The real questions are more important. Creating rich experiences that make you stop and think, that awaken you are what we want. Close connections to family, healthy, respectful relationships are what we want. Raising human beings who can analyze and think for themselves, who can question and care, are what we want. I'm speaking for myself and my family here.>
> College and socializing aren't the important things when you have a one-way ticket to the grave. It's the esoteric stuff that makes life worth living that unschooling truly answers. You've got to change the questions if you're going to get a grasp on what unschooling does that is so amazing and life changing.
I really like this post. From the moment I entered the world of unschooling yahoo groups and blogs, I have had a Mark Twain quote running through my mind. "Having lost sight of our goals, we redouble our efforts." I get frustrated with both Q&A when it seems to revolve so much around how to "do," how to "act," and how to fit into the system that we have supposedly rejected, or merely seems like a search for or an offering of a new system to fit into. I guess I naively made the assumption that the people I would encounter already had the same drive as me and the same attitude toward their children. I see that you do, I get where you're coming from, and I love your last paragraph especially.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
Beth that was so sweet of you to post! I'm so glad you had a good experience. You're right, unschooling kids really don't clump along age lines nearly as much as school kids. I've been at gatherings where there's some rough grouping along broad age-lines, just bc kids in different stages of development tend to have different interests, but its really all about those interests, not age itself.
Of course, just like anyone else, unschooling kids have rough moments, meltdowns, get in fights... They aren't angels, they're real human beings, but they get to be their whole selves a Lot more than most kids, and that makes a difference.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
Of course, just like anyone else, unschooling kids have rough moments, meltdowns, get in fights... They aren't angels, they're real human beings, but they get to be their whole selves a Lot more than most kids, and that makes a difference.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
Elizabeth Winslow
I'm sure that's true, because we're human afterall.....but I'll tell ya
what....I never saw anything like it in my life. I was in awe and shock the
whole time I was there.... and I'm in awe each time I get together with
unschoolers..... not a bad gig....not a bad gig :) I wish everyone could
experience what it's like!
what....I never saw anything like it in my life. I was in awe and shock the
whole time I was there.... and I'm in awe each time I get together with
unschoolers..... not a bad gig....not a bad gig :) I wish everyone could
experience what it's like!
On Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 4:03 PM, plaidpanties666 <meredith@...>wrote:
>
>
> Beth that was so sweet of you to post! I'm so glad you had a good
> experience. You're right, unschooling kids really don't clump along age
> lines nearly as much as school kids. I've been at gatherings where there's
> some rough grouping along broad age-lines, just bc kids in different stages
> of development tend to have different interests, but its really all about
> those interests, not age itself.
>
> Of course, just like anyone else, unschooling kids have rough moments,
> meltdowns, get in fights... They aren't angels, they're real human beings,
> but they get to be their whole selves a Lot more than most kids, and that
> makes a difference.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]