Schooling for a widowed mother of a 5 year old - how to start?
Mary Beth
My husband died last year. I was a stay at home wife and mother. I put my daughter in public kindergarten (she is 5 and will turn 6 in July) so I have time to breathe, grieve and take college classes. I will need to find a way to make money so we can survive. I am on my own with her. My mother, who is almost 80 and lives an hour away, is helpful but is also deep in grief as my dad died soon after my husband.
What are some options? I do not agree with what is going on in public school. I am not allowed to visit the school and see what is going on in the classroom. My daughter is changing in ways and so unhappy.
Any ideas? What can I do in the future to earn a living? How can I have time for me while homeschooling? How do you keep your patience? How do you do it? Where do you start? What about alternative schools? These are questions I have. I live on Long Island, NY. Thank you.
What are some options? I do not agree with what is going on in public school. I am not allowed to visit the school and see what is going on in the classroom. My daughter is changing in ways and so unhappy.
Any ideas? What can I do in the future to earn a living? How can I have time for me while homeschooling? How do you keep your patience? How do you do it? Where do you start? What about alternative schools? These are questions I have. I live on Long Island, NY. Thank you.
missalexmissalex
> What are some options? I do not agree with what is going on in public school. I am not allowed to visit the school and see what is going on in the classroom.I wish I could be more helpful, but I did want to say, in CA it is the law that a parent or guardian can observe a 1/2 hour a day. I don't know if that is every day. While it's possible, I have trouble believing NY is so different. This is clearly not a subject for an unschooling discussion board to cover in depth, but please do look into your rights more locally. Maybe you could try the NY Dept of Education General Information line at (518) 474-3852.
Good luck-
Alex
mama to Katya, 2 1/4
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Mary Beth" <mb72269@...> wrote:
In terms of work itself, how are you on taxes? Seriously, if you don't flinch at the actual paperwork you can make a certain amount of money each year just doing others taxes for them.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
>> What are some options? I do not agree with what is going on in public school.You said you're taking some college classes - is she able to sit in? That's something some 5yos could do, but certainly not all. Can you afford any childcare at all? Enough to take your classes? Can you remain home on public aid where you live? Where I am you can get food stamps if you're unemployed but welfare is harder. Can you live with family or friends for awhile, with the understanding that you want to "homeschool" and may not be able to work for a few years?
In terms of work itself, how are you on taxes? Seriously, if you don't flinch at the actual paperwork you can make a certain amount of money each year just doing others taxes for them.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 16)
Pam Sorooshian
On 10/2/2009 10:08 AM, Mary Beth wrote:
might be a start.
Maybe you can partner up with another mom/child duo and move in together
to share expenses.
If you own your own house, can you rent it out and live in a cheaper place?
-pam
> I live on Long Island, NY. Thank you.Can you go and live somewhere that has a lower cost of living? That
might be a start.
Maybe you can partner up with another mom/child duo and move in together
to share expenses.
If you own your own house, can you rent it out and live in a cheaper place?
-pam
diana jenner
On Fri, Oct 2, 2009 at 10:08 AM, Mary Beth <mb72269@...> wrote:
too well how acute your pain in that first year, the adjustment to being in
Holland instead of Italy (
http://users.erols.com/jmatts/welcome%20to%20holland.html). I managed, with
the help of a great couple of friends, to grieve with the least amount of
arbitrary stress as possible to the kids. I imagine it's much like what
school is providing for you now, a private time for you to be with your own
grief.
can't imagine how hard it must be for her to be surrounded by strangers, who
have no idea what's going on in her head or her heart... It was very
important to me to have my children with someone *at all times* who was a
loved one, a trusted person to our family. I know now how hard the whole
Daddy conversation has been for Hayden (now 11), I'm glad I shielded him
when he was very small and our pain was acute. She definitely needs a safe
place, a safe outlet; where she can be happy or sad according to her own
needs. I held in my heart the importance that my children lose *ONE* parent,
not both.
money, enough to have a happy life for the three of us. We did have amazing
support of my family and friends; we were fortunate to build this community
over the length of my husband's illness. Two years ago, I began working
2x/week as a baker for a local cafe; it's a late night shift, Hayden has the
option of coming with me or being 3 minutes away at home. A year ago, I
started working at the local university as an interpreter (my pre-mommy
profession). We are now far from our genetic family and living in a
community that is very supportive of unschooling *&* my quirkiness ;)
How do you keep your patience?
And that really is the conversation I have with myself. Patience is
infinite; you cannot run out, you cannot lose it. Forget to use? yes indeed.
Practice helps. Breathing helps. Counting helps. Parenting
Peacefully<http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully>*really* helped.
How do you do it? Where do you start?
Today even. Right now!
What about alternative schools?
life. *I* am the answer. And it's a lot of work. Still, I'd not do it any
other way. ((((hugs))))
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>**My husband died in December of 2000, when my kids were 4 & 2. I know all
>
> My husband died last year. I was a stay at home wife and mother. I put my
> daughter in public kindergarten (she is 5 and will turn 6 in July) so I have
> time to breathe, grieve and take college classes. I will need to find a way
> to make money so we can survive. I am on my own with her. My mother, who is
> almost 80 and lives an hour away, is helpful but is also deep in grief as my
> dad died soon after my husband.
>
too well how acute your pain in that first year, the adjustment to being in
Holland instead of Italy (
http://users.erols.com/jmatts/welcome%20to%20holland.html). I managed, with
the help of a great couple of friends, to grieve with the least amount of
arbitrary stress as possible to the kids. I imagine it's much like what
school is providing for you now, a private time for you to be with your own
grief.
>**If only HER grief would schedule itself outside of school hours :-( I
> What are some options? I do not agree with what is going on in public
> school. I am not allowed to visit the school and see what is going on in the
> classroom. My daughter is changing in ways and so unhappy.
>
can't imagine how hard it must be for her to be surrounded by strangers, who
have no idea what's going on in her head or her heart... It was very
important to me to have my children with someone *at all times* who was a
loved one, a trusted person to our family. I know now how hard the whole
Daddy conversation has been for Hayden (now 11), I'm glad I shielded him
when he was very small and our pain was acute. She definitely needs a safe
place, a safe outlet; where she can be happy or sad according to her own
needs. I held in my heart the importance that my children lose *ONE* parent,
not both.
>**We lived for many years on SS Survivors Benefits. Certainly not a lot of
> Any ideas? What can I do in the future to earn a living? How can I have
> time for me while homeschooling?
>
money, enough to have a happy life for the three of us. We did have amazing
support of my family and friends; we were fortunate to build this community
over the length of my husband's illness. Two years ago, I began working
2x/week as a baker for a local cafe; it's a late night shift, Hayden has the
option of coming with me or being 3 minutes away at home. A year ago, I
started working at the local university as an interpreter (my pre-mommy
profession). We are now far from our genetic family and living in a
community that is very supportive of unschooling *&* my quirkiness ;)
How do you keep your patience?
>**My patience didn't go anywhere and it won't. I've no need to keep it.
And that really is the conversation I have with myself. Patience is
infinite; you cannot run out, you cannot lose it. Forget to use? yes indeed.
Practice helps. Breathing helps. Counting helps. Parenting
Peacefully<http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully>*really* helped.
How do you do it? Where do you start?
>**Pretend everyday is summer vacation. That is the very best place to start.
Today even. Right now!
What about alternative schools?
>**I knew/know school is not the answer to what is not going smoothly in my
life. *I* am the answer. And it's a lot of work. Still, I'd not do it any
other way. ((((hugs))))
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]