serious question -- need to know has anyone out there experienced the following
Brendalee McGovern
Question for all of you that "un-school" your children
what on Earth do you do when your in-laws - (mother, 2 brother and 3 sister in laws plus a reluctant father in law)
keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
--they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything if we keep the
"un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the children a better formal education
With best wishes and Regards,
Brendalee
-Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only
thing." --Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, German Born Medical Missionary,
Theologian, Musician, and Philosopher
-Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with
power
to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment.- -Robert
Collier, American Writer, Publisher
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Read only the mail you want - Yahoo! Mail SpamGuard.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
what on Earth do you do when your in-laws - (mother, 2 brother and 3 sister in laws plus a reluctant father in law)
keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
--they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything if we keep the
"un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the children a better formal education
With best wishes and Regards,
Brendalee
-Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only
thing." --Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, German Born Medical Missionary,
Theologian, Musician, and Philosopher
-Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with
power
to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment.- -Robert
Collier, American Writer, Publisher
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Read only the mail you want - Yahoo! Mail SpamGuard.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stacie Johnston
You need to raise your children your way. Are you in contact with HSLDA? You might want to call them and see if they can help you. IF need be, you may have to cut ties to them if they continue. You are not doing an injustice to your children. People don't agree with going against the norm, and we all get flack for it. Maybe in an indirect way, you can have the kids do something with you like cooking, etc...(anything they do very well that you would consider educational) and do it in front of the grandparents. My mom is amazed at how well Dylan reads!
Just my 2 cents!
Stacie
Just my 2 cents!
Stacie
----- Original Message -----
From: Brendalee McGovern
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 10:18 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] serious question -- need to know has anyone out there experienced the following
Question for all of you that "un-school" your children
what on Earth do you do when your in-laws - (mother, 2 brother and 3 sister in laws plus a reluctant father in law)
keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
--they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything if we keep the
"un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the children a better formal education
With best wishes and Regards,
Brendalee
-Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only
thing." --Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, German Born Medical Missionary,
Theologian, Musician, and Philosopher
-Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with
power
to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment.- -Robert
Collier, American Writer, Publisher
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Read only the mail you want - Yahoo! Mail SpamGuard.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> Question for all of you that "un-school" your childrenThis is why I don't talk to my family about my children's education. My mother is not supportive at all of homeschooling and I have disappointed her in revisiting homeschooling with "her grandchildren." I don't talk to her about curriculum, field trips, or anything else related to what they are learning. When she asks how their studies are going I say the same thing that I said when I was breastfeeding them (another disappointment - although now she is a big supporter of women breastfeeding their *babies*) "They are doing just so great! I'm amazed every day at their new and wonderful accomplishments." She knows they are smart as they are constantly astounding her with little bits of trivia and "feats of wonder." (Emily loves math and does stuff in her head which my mom thinks is from some wonderful thing she learned in school - HA!)
>
> what on Earth do you do when your in-laws - (mother, 2 brother and 3 sister in laws plus a reluctant father in law)
>
> keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
> --they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything if we keep the
> "un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and Family Services?
I just don't believe that it is any of my family's business to know what we do and how we do it. If homeschooling is legal where you are and you are following the letter of the law, there is no way that they can take your children from you provided that they are healthy and not ill-treated or neglected. It's really an idle threat. Your family would have to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that your children are in danger, neglected, or in some other way in harm (either through ommission or commission). If anything a judge (if it ever got before a judge because a good lawyer would know when to take action and when it would be futile) would perhaps have your children evaluated to see if they are "on grade level."
Change your attitude, not your family. You may never be able to change them. As wonderful as my children have done being in their home environment, my mother continually tells me how good they would do in school. BTDT and they hated it. My mom isn't going to change, so I changed the information that I gave her. I quit trying to sell her on homeschooling because she will probably always see schooling as "best" and homeschooling as inferior to her standard. She jumped for joy when my ex-sil put my niece in school this past year after 4 years of homeschooling. She tells me on a fairly regular basis about some new teacher she has met who would love to have "such-n-such child" in his/her class or a new school or magnet program that has an opening or has started doing something that would interest my children. I have been homeschooling on and off (mostly on) for the past 4 years and she seems to fight harder and harder for my children's "right to an education" than ever before. She also believes that I am being disserviced because I don't get enough "free time." Like it must be some drudgery to be with my children "all the time." UGH!! I love being with my kids and I have scheduled free time each month (and irregular free time through my Pampered Chef business - although I usually end up taking one of them as my helper) and my children are at the ages where I can leave them at home without fearing that they are going to burn the house down or go running out into the street naked (well, not the street but the yard could be a good possiblity :-D )
You will probably never convince them or change their attitude. It may be something you either have to live with or tell them to "back off." :-(
Michelle
[email protected]
> Maybe in an indirect way, you can have the kids do something with you like cooking, etc...(anything they do very well that you would consider educational) and do it in front of the grandparents. My mom is amazed at how well Dylan reads!I think I have shared this story here before (maybe it was another list) but my mom was over at my house one weekday and asked my 6yo ds, Keon, what he was doing in school. He said, "Uh, I'm homeschooled!" She said, "Yes; but what did you do in homescool today." He just rolled his eyes. We were rolling coins that we had been collecting and we were sorting them into two different groups (pre-1983 and post 1983 - pennies made before 1983 don't have zinc in them and when pressed they don't get silvery streaks in them) Anyway, as we were sorting we were also looking for old pennies (wheat), foreign pennies (we have quite a collection) and putting them in 5 stacks of 10. So as we were doing this I would look at my mom and go, "Math" and later, "History" and also "Cultural Studies." It ticked her off, but it sort of made a point to her.
> Just my 2 cents!
And my mom is amazed at how well my children read and do math and understand scientific theory, but she always will say, "The read (do math) so well. They would really excel in school if you would just let them go." It's not that she doesn't think they are learning, but she has no way of being proved that they are learning (no report cards, test scores, etc.)
Amanda Soman
My first question is what is yopur husband doing about this. It's his
family, so he should deal with them. I'm lucky that my mom supports
whatever I think is best. Maybe you should let them know that if they
want to continue having a relationship with your kids they will back
off and stop threatening you. They are your kids, not theirs. Good
luck, I know it's hard when everyone thinks you're doing the wrong
thing. Just keep in mind you are doing what you think is best, and
one day when they are grown and happy, you can say I told you so.
Amanda
--- In [email protected], Brendalee McGovern
<Brendalee80@y...> wrote:
children a better formal education
family, so he should deal with them. I'm lucky that my mom supports
whatever I think is best. Maybe you should let them know that if they
want to continue having a relationship with your kids they will back
off and stop threatening you. They are your kids, not theirs. Good
luck, I know it's hard when everyone thinks you're doing the wrong
thing. Just keep in mind you are doing what you think is best, and
one day when they are grown and happy, you can say I told you so.
Amanda
--- In [email protected], Brendalee McGovern
<Brendalee80@y...> wrote:
> Question for all of you that "un-school" your childrensister in laws plus a reluctant father in law)
>
> what on Earth do you do when your in-laws - (mother, 2 brother and 3
>anything if we keep the
> keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
> --they keep telling you that your children will never amount to
> "un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youthand Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the
children a better formal education
>
>
>
>
>
>
> With best wishes and Regards,
>
> Brendalee
>
> -Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only
> thing." --Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, German Born Medical Missionary,
> Theologian, Musician, and Philosopher
>
> -Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with
> power
> to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment.- -Robert
> Collier, American Writer, Publisher
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Read only the mail you want - Yahoo! Mail SpamGuard.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elizabeth Roberts
Brendalee,
Please let me know if you figure it out. I just got an
earful for two days from my mother. In a nutshell, I'm
"Neglecting and handicapping" my children along with
breaking the law.
I'm fighting the urge to rush out for a curriculum
right now.
I wouldn't put it past my mother to call Social
Services.
Elizabeth
--- Brendalee McGovern <Brendalee80@...> wrote:
Elizabeth
Http://rainbowacademy.blogspot.com
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Please let me know if you figure it out. I just got an
earful for two days from my mother. In a nutshell, I'm
"Neglecting and handicapping" my children along with
breaking the law.
I'm fighting the urge to rush out for a curriculum
right now.
I wouldn't put it past my mother to call Social
Services.
Elizabeth
--- Brendalee McGovern <Brendalee80@...> wrote:
> Question for all of you that "un-school" your=====
> children
>
> what on Earth do you do when your in-laws - (mother,
> 2 brother and 3 sister in laws plus a reluctant
> father in law)
>
> keep telling you that you're doing a grave in
> justice by your children
> --they keep telling you that your children will
> never amount to anything if we keep the
> "un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the
> Department of Youth and Family Services? and that
> they are better equipped of giving the children a
> better formal education
>
>
>
>
>
>
> With best wishes and Regards,
>
> Brendalee
>
> -Example is not the main thing in influencing
> others. It is the only
> thing." --Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, German Born
> Medical Missionary,
> Theologian, Musician, and Philosopher
>
> -Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms
> a nucleus with
> power
> to attract to itself everything needed for its
> fulfillment.- -Robert
> Collier, American Writer, Publisher
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Read only the mail you want - Yahoo! Mail
> SpamGuard.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
Elizabeth
Http://rainbowacademy.blogspot.com
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
Teresa
I don't know if this is an OK thing, but what about keeping records of all that your children are learning, in a weekly manner? If they then contacted one of these agencies you could 'prove' what you've been doing in 'school' and that they are being educated (even though they are learning in their own way of course!). Surely, they couldn't do much then?
(I bet they're learning way more than the kids at school!)
Teresa
(Mum to 5, homeschooling 2, and living in New Zealand)
(I bet they're learning way more than the kids at school!)
Teresa
(Mum to 5, homeschooling 2, and living in New Zealand)
----- Original Message -----
From: Brendalee McGovern
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2004 4:18 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] serious question -- need to know has anyone out there experienced the following
Question for all of you that "un-school" your children
what on Earth do you do when your in-laws - (mother, 2 brother and 3 sister in laws plus a reluctant father in law)
keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
--they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything if we keep the
"un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the children a better formal education
With best wishes and Regards,
Brendalee
-Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only
thing." --Albert Schweitzer, 1875-1965, German Born Medical Missionary,
Theologian, Musician, and Philosopher
-Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with
power
to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment.- -Robert
Collier, American Writer, Publisher
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Read only the mail you want - Yahoo! Mail SpamGuard.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
a.. To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
<<<< keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
--they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything if
we keep the
"un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and
Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the children a
better formal education >>>>
It is tough to feel defensive, but a fairly natural reaction to being
attacked. What I have done in the past when my mother has disagreed with
some parenting decision or practice, is to find her some information from a
source that she respects and send it along. I mean an article or webpage,
not a 1000 page tome. My mother is married to a doctor and has a great deal
of respect for the medical profession, so I sent her an article from the
American Academy of Pediatricians about extended breastfeeding, rather than
one from say, Mothering Magazine. The information is largely the same. It
may take some digging on your part, but there is information out there.
You might try sharing some of your and dh's journey to homeschooling, and
show them that you have educated yourself about it (I'm assuming you have),
so even if they continue to disagree they at least know this is not just
some idea you have pulled out of your ass. If they are strongly convinced
that school is best you might direct them to some anti-mandatory-schooling
literature such as John Taylor Gatto. If they think social services are a
bunch of sweethearts, you might direct them to some webpages about the sorry
underfunded state of the foster care system and what the kids actually go
through in these situations. You might also try sharing some stories of
homeschoolers going to college and being "successful".
Another strategy is to ask them why they believe what they believe and to
define some of their terms (like "amount to anything"), if you can stand to
listen. Sometimes just having a vent is enough for people - you do *not*
have to take their advice, just thank them for their opinion without
necessarily defending yourself verbally. Sometimes in verbalizing their
ideas people come to see that they are unfounded or illogical. Sometimes
calm, uninvolved listening can give them the idea that they have made a
great impression on you, and they will back off. Saying something like, "You
have given me a lot to think about" is neutral yet true and does not commit
you to any immediate change in activity. (Then send the articles etc later
so the emotion of face-to-face is removed).
OTOH it seems like most people at some time or another have had to tell
their parents and relatives, either kindly or bluntly, to butt out. I have
done it by immediately ending the phone conversation. My dh has done it with
his Mom by just gently saying he didn't want to hear her negativity - she
then hangs up and we are freed from her opining for varying lengths of time.
Many people have used variations on "We understand and appreciate that you
care about the kids just as we do, but they are dh's and my responsibility
and if you want to be part of their lives, we need you to respect our
decisions about how we are raising them." Unity of purpose with dh and
yourself is important here.
Many people continue to let the children's accomplishments speak for
themselves. I send along art work that Jayn has done, or tell happy stories
of some achievement - like writing thank you cards. When Mum sees Jayn she
is always pretty impressed. I just don't do any kind of "schoolish"
conversation about what *I* might be doing with Jayn, since that is nothing
remotely schoolish. Walking the line between full honest disclosure (only
recommended for the supportive and knowledgeable) and not giving up
opportunities for criticism and suggestions by seeming uncommitted, can be
tough.
Finally if they do threaten to or actually do take some kind of legal
action, since your post implied that some of them are likely to seek
custody, I suggest that rather than HSLDA, you try to find legal help
through www.nheld.com (National Home Education Legal Defense) a secular
organization which does not have any further political agenda outside of
homeschooling issues.
Your relatives may not realize the harm they are doing to family unity and
their own standing in your family. I agree with the other poster who
suggested that your dh should be the one to deal with his relatives.
Of course the big assumption we are all making here is that you are *not*
neglecting your children's health, safety or emotional development, and that
you *are* engaged and facilitating their interests, and that you *are* doing
whatever paperwork is necessary in your State. The other thing that might be
worth examining for yourself is whether your children actually are happy
homeschooling (or unschooling). If they would genuinely and mindfully prefer
to be in school at the moment, they should have that choice.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.802 / Virus Database: 545 - Release Date: 11/26/2004
--they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything if
we keep the
"un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and
Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the children a
better formal education >>>>
It is tough to feel defensive, but a fairly natural reaction to being
attacked. What I have done in the past when my mother has disagreed with
some parenting decision or practice, is to find her some information from a
source that she respects and send it along. I mean an article or webpage,
not a 1000 page tome. My mother is married to a doctor and has a great deal
of respect for the medical profession, so I sent her an article from the
American Academy of Pediatricians about extended breastfeeding, rather than
one from say, Mothering Magazine. The information is largely the same. It
may take some digging on your part, but there is information out there.
You might try sharing some of your and dh's journey to homeschooling, and
show them that you have educated yourself about it (I'm assuming you have),
so even if they continue to disagree they at least know this is not just
some idea you have pulled out of your ass. If they are strongly convinced
that school is best you might direct them to some anti-mandatory-schooling
literature such as John Taylor Gatto. If they think social services are a
bunch of sweethearts, you might direct them to some webpages about the sorry
underfunded state of the foster care system and what the kids actually go
through in these situations. You might also try sharing some stories of
homeschoolers going to college and being "successful".
Another strategy is to ask them why they believe what they believe and to
define some of their terms (like "amount to anything"), if you can stand to
listen. Sometimes just having a vent is enough for people - you do *not*
have to take their advice, just thank them for their opinion without
necessarily defending yourself verbally. Sometimes in verbalizing their
ideas people come to see that they are unfounded or illogical. Sometimes
calm, uninvolved listening can give them the idea that they have made a
great impression on you, and they will back off. Saying something like, "You
have given me a lot to think about" is neutral yet true and does not commit
you to any immediate change in activity. (Then send the articles etc later
so the emotion of face-to-face is removed).
OTOH it seems like most people at some time or another have had to tell
their parents and relatives, either kindly or bluntly, to butt out. I have
done it by immediately ending the phone conversation. My dh has done it with
his Mom by just gently saying he didn't want to hear her negativity - she
then hangs up and we are freed from her opining for varying lengths of time.
Many people have used variations on "We understand and appreciate that you
care about the kids just as we do, but they are dh's and my responsibility
and if you want to be part of their lives, we need you to respect our
decisions about how we are raising them." Unity of purpose with dh and
yourself is important here.
Many people continue to let the children's accomplishments speak for
themselves. I send along art work that Jayn has done, or tell happy stories
of some achievement - like writing thank you cards. When Mum sees Jayn she
is always pretty impressed. I just don't do any kind of "schoolish"
conversation about what *I* might be doing with Jayn, since that is nothing
remotely schoolish. Walking the line between full honest disclosure (only
recommended for the supportive and knowledgeable) and not giving up
opportunities for criticism and suggestions by seeming uncommitted, can be
tough.
Finally if they do threaten to or actually do take some kind of legal
action, since your post implied that some of them are likely to seek
custody, I suggest that rather than HSLDA, you try to find legal help
through www.nheld.com (National Home Education Legal Defense) a secular
organization which does not have any further political agenda outside of
homeschooling issues.
Your relatives may not realize the harm they are doing to family unity and
their own standing in your family. I agree with the other poster who
suggested that your dh should be the one to deal with his relatives.
Of course the big assumption we are all making here is that you are *not*
neglecting your children's health, safety or emotional development, and that
you *are* engaged and facilitating their interests, and that you *are* doing
whatever paperwork is necessary in your State. The other thing that might be
worth examining for yourself is whether your children actually are happy
homeschooling (or unschooling). If they would genuinely and mindfully prefer
to be in school at the moment, they should have that choice.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.802 / Virus Database: 545 - Release Date: 11/26/2004
Deb Lewis
***what on Earth do you do when your in-laws - (mother, 2 brother and 3
sister in laws plus a reluctant father in law)
keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
--they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything
if we keep the
"un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and
Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the
children a better formal education***
Stop talking to them about unschooling.
Tell them they need to respect you and if they can't they need to stay
away from you.
Tell your husband he needs to be on your side and he needs to tell them
to back off. Even if he doesn't fully support unschooling yet he needs
to support *you.*
When people ask about homeschooling or unschooling, tell them you're
going to "try" it and you can always make a different choice if you need
to.
Find out how other unschoolers in your area have reconciled what they do
with the laws in your state.
Arm yourself with information about public schools and about unschooling.
Read as much as you can. The more you learn the more confidence you
will have in the face of your opposition.
How old are your kids? Is there anything about your life other than
unschooling that would prompt your in laws to call Family Services? If
so, take care of that.
I know it's hard. We had difficult family members too.
Deb Lewis
sister in laws plus a reluctant father in law)
keep telling you that you're doing a grave in justice by your children
--they keep telling you that your children will never amount to anything
if we keep the
"un-schooling" up and they threaten you with the Department of Youth and
Family Services? and that they are better equipped of giving the
children a better formal education***
Stop talking to them about unschooling.
Tell them they need to respect you and if they can't they need to stay
away from you.
Tell your husband he needs to be on your side and he needs to tell them
to back off. Even if he doesn't fully support unschooling yet he needs
to support *you.*
When people ask about homeschooling or unschooling, tell them you're
going to "try" it and you can always make a different choice if you need
to.
Find out how other unschoolers in your area have reconciled what they do
with the laws in your state.
Arm yourself with information about public schools and about unschooling.
Read as much as you can. The more you learn the more confidence you
will have in the face of your opposition.
How old are your kids? Is there anything about your life other than
unschooling that would prompt your in laws to call Family Services? If
so, take care of that.
I know it's hard. We had difficult family members too.
Deb Lewis
Angela White
>Kia ora Teresa,
> Teresa
> (Mum to 5, homeschooling 2, and living in New Zealand)
> ----- Original Message -----
>
couldn't let that one slip by. Where about in NZ do you live? Have you
been unschooling for long? I live in Hokitika, West Coast. As you
advise on record keeping: have you got an easy way to do that? I have
tried in the past, but always end up being too busy to keep up. The
last model I tried was mind maps and that is ok as I don't go into
detail but just write in the main things.
Angela
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
soggyboysmom
1 - know the laws in your state. If paperwork is required, make a
folder with your copy of the notice of intent and whatever else and
stash it in a closet or somewhere near the front door. If you are in
compliance with that, there's not much DCS can do really.
2 - I've found that quoting statutes tends to shut people up - it
sounds so "official" to say, "We're in compliance with CGS 10-184"
that most people will at least back off for a time while they chew
that over - if you're in compliance with the state and the "state
knows best" right? <wink> then it "must" be okay
3 - say "It's working for us please pass the bean dip". If it
persists "It's not open for discussion. Please pass the bean dip."
And again "If you pursue this further, we'll need to leave. Please
pass the bean dip"
4 - we did not use the term "unschooling" outside of homeschooling
circles for a few years - even though that's what we have always
done. We just used the generic "homeschooling". Then, once the
family picture of "homeschooling" equaled whatever it was we were
doing (since we're the only ones they know in depth
that "homeschool"), we started using Unschooling for what we do. By
this point, they were already convinced that whatever it was we were
doing was okay because DS is doing fine and is a great, creative,
smart, (throw in all those grandparent superlatives lol) 6 1/2 yr
old kid. Sort of boiling the frog by starting with cold water and
gradually turning up the heat.
5 - provide articles/information and "make them do their homework"
before you'll discuss it again.
folder with your copy of the notice of intent and whatever else and
stash it in a closet or somewhere near the front door. If you are in
compliance with that, there's not much DCS can do really.
2 - I've found that quoting statutes tends to shut people up - it
sounds so "official" to say, "We're in compliance with CGS 10-184"
that most people will at least back off for a time while they chew
that over - if you're in compliance with the state and the "state
knows best" right? <wink> then it "must" be okay
3 - say "It's working for us please pass the bean dip". If it
persists "It's not open for discussion. Please pass the bean dip."
And again "If you pursue this further, we'll need to leave. Please
pass the bean dip"
4 - we did not use the term "unschooling" outside of homeschooling
circles for a few years - even though that's what we have always
done. We just used the generic "homeschooling". Then, once the
family picture of "homeschooling" equaled whatever it was we were
doing (since we're the only ones they know in depth
that "homeschool"), we started using Unschooling for what we do. By
this point, they were already convinced that whatever it was we were
doing was okay because DS is doing fine and is a great, creative,
smart, (throw in all those grandparent superlatives lol) 6 1/2 yr
old kid. Sort of boiling the frog by starting with cold water and
gradually turning up the heat.
5 - provide articles/information and "make them do their homework"
before you'll discuss it again.
mamaaj2000
--- In [email protected], "soggyboysmom"
<debra.rossing@m...> wrote:
alternative to authoritarian parenting is permissiveness, talking to
them about unschooling is probably about the same as pouring hot
water on 'em.
Thaw them out by talking about all the negatives of schooling, then
start warming them up by talking about all the exciting opportunities
in life when you're not tied down by school and homework, then crank
up the stove by describing all the great learning that goes on
outside of the curriculm (it would have to, since there aren't
textbooks in the house).
Serve warm. ;-)
--aj
<debra.rossing@m...> wrote:
> Sort of boiling the frog by starting with cold water andThat's a great way to look at it. To many people, who think the only
> gradually turning up the heat.
alternative to authoritarian parenting is permissiveness, talking to
them about unschooling is probably about the same as pouring hot
water on 'em.
Thaw them out by talking about all the negatives of schooling, then
start warming them up by talking about all the exciting opportunities
in life when you're not tied down by school and homework, then crank
up the stove by describing all the great learning that goes on
outside of the curriculm (it would have to, since there aren't
textbooks in the house).
Serve warm. ;-)
--aj
Elizabeth Roberts
Hmmm maybe that's part of my problem. At some point in
our first year, I sent my mother a long email
detailing our reasonings for homeschooling, and our
unschooling philosophy.
I probably overloaded her with too much too fast.
Elizabeth
Elizabeth
Http://rainbowacademy.blogspot.com
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! - What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com
our first year, I sent my mother a long email
detailing our reasonings for homeschooling, and our
unschooling philosophy.
I probably overloaded her with too much too fast.
Elizabeth
>=====
> 4 - we did not use the term "unschooling" outside of
> homeschooling
> circles for a few years - even though that's what we
> have always
> done. We just used the generic "homeschooling".
> Then, once the
> family picture of "homeschooling" equaled whatever
> it was we were
> doing (since we're the only ones they know in depth
> that "homeschool"), we started using Unschooling for
> what we do. By
> this point, they were already convinced that
> whatever it was we were
> doing was okay because DS is doing fine and is a
> great, creative,
> smart, (throw in all those grandparent superlatives
> lol) 6 1/2 yr
> old kid. Sort of boiling the frog by starting with
> cold water and
> gradually turning up the heat.
>
> 5 - provide articles/information and "make them do
> their homework"
> before you'll discuss it again.
>
>
>
>
Elizabeth
Http://rainbowacademy.blogspot.com
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! - What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com
Teresa
Kia ora Teresa,
Kia ora Angela!
couldn't let that one slip by. Where about in NZ do you live? Have you
been unschooling for long? I live in Hokitika, West Coast.
I live in Hamilton. I've been homeschooling for about 6-7 years, unschooling about 2.
As you advise on record keeping: have you got an easy way to do that? I have
tried in the past, but always end up being too busy to keep up. The last model I tried was mind maps and that is ok as I don't go into detail but just write in the main things.
I often find I'm too busy to keep up with records too! But have done it at times. A good way I thought to prove what your kids have been learning, and that they regularly learn!
I think a weekly record may be easier. Each day just take note what your kids do, eg., roller skating (phys. ed.), cooking (home economics), reading about cars (technology), etc. I would make headings for each subject as you come across it, just down in a row. If they cooked 3x in the week, I'd just put that. You could say what they cooked if you liked. I like to keep things simple!
Angela
Teresa
(Mum to 5, homeschooling 2, and living in New Zealand)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kia ora Angela!
couldn't let that one slip by. Where about in NZ do you live? Have you
been unschooling for long? I live in Hokitika, West Coast.
I live in Hamilton. I've been homeschooling for about 6-7 years, unschooling about 2.
As you advise on record keeping: have you got an easy way to do that? I have
tried in the past, but always end up being too busy to keep up. The last model I tried was mind maps and that is ok as I don't go into detail but just write in the main things.
I often find I'm too busy to keep up with records too! But have done it at times. A good way I thought to prove what your kids have been learning, and that they regularly learn!
I think a weekly record may be easier. Each day just take note what your kids do, eg., roller skating (phys. ed.), cooking (home economics), reading about cars (technology), etc. I would make headings for each subject as you come across it, just down in a row. If they cooked 3x in the week, I'd just put that. You could say what they cooked if you liked. I like to keep things simple!
Angela
Teresa
(Mum to 5, homeschooling 2, and living in New Zealand)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]