Paul & Camille

Wow Karen, thanks for sharing that, emotional problems are very hard to move and change I agree with you.

I am new to this, and my son does have a dairy allergy. He comes out in very itchy eczema all over his body if he eats anything with milk in it for days afterwards. I feel really sorry for him when this happens, he is only 5.

Does anyone think this will affect him adversley??? The other day he wanted a biscuit that had milk in it, he had it and he did pay for it. I told him it had milk in it and he said he wished he hadnt eaten it, however he does make the choice if he comes across food that isnt dairy free. I check all the labels of stuff and buy things that he can eat without milk, so I guess he is eating what he wants within a limit of no milk. I get chocolate thats dairy free, & dairy free cheese so he doesnt feel like he's missing out, he loves marshmallows and he loves potato chips, but also his fav are little rice crackers & hummus...

Anyway would be interested in peoples take on the whole restricting food due to allergy thing, as Ive never thought about it.

Thanks, Camille


Agreed!!! And when I came to this list I had MAJOR issues with food control
because I had always been controlled. You can do an archive search for my
name and see. My story about my son and the "monkey platter" is even on
Sandra's website.

Here's the thing, my boys have NOT always been unschooled. Their
"defooding" was more terrifying to me than anything else...and it's because
I love my kids. I know you love your kids OP, that's not in question. But
in the end, my mother loved me too, and being ultra controlling about food
ended up with me being fat anyway, and having (even now) serious body image
issues. Bordering on BDD. THAT is far more harmful to me than any Doritos
could ever be. Maybe you don't know what it's like to look at yourself in
the mirror and have actual HATE for what you see staring back at yourself.
But I do. I fight it every day. That's what controlling food can do.

My boys are pre-teens now, so that means there isn't enough food in the free
world to fill them up. So they graze. Sometimes on a gallon of ice cream.
Most of the time it's on protein. That's what they need right now. This
discussion was yesterday with my soon to be 13 yr old.

John: "Um....when I eat a lot of ice cream I feel like shit."
Me: "Well, that's your body's way of telling you to knock it off."
John: "Yeah ice cream is bad."
Me: "Nah, ice cream isn't bad, it's great and it's enjoyable. But if you
eat too much it's too much fat and sugar for your body at once. Just eat it
in moderation."

And we had that discussion while jogging TOGETHER. My almost 13 yr old
wants to run with me. Doesn't feel ashamed to be with his mother and he
listens to me when I talk because I stopped putting my foot on his neck.
And I do want to encourage him to see all foods as good. ALL food has to be
eaten in moderation even healthy ones. Did you know about *Orthorexia*, or
*orthorexia nervosa* is a term coined by Steven Bratman, a Colorado MD, for
an eating disorder characterized by excessive focus on eating healthy foods.
In rare cases, this focus may turn into a fixation so extreme that it can
lead to severe malnutrition or even death?

How about this? Ever seen this?

* An Anorexic Creed
*
*by Inanna*
*Copyright © 2001 by Inanna. All rights reserved.
Contact author for permission to republish.*

*
*

*I believe in* Control, the only force mighty enough to bring order to
the chaos that is my world.

*I believe that* I am the most vile, worthless and useless person ever to
have existed on this planet, and that I am totally unworthy of anyone's time
and attention.

*I believe that* other people who tell me differently must be idiots. If
they could see how I really am, then they would hate me almost as much as I
do.

*I believe in* oughts, musts and shoulds as unbreakable laws to determine
my daily behaviour.

*I believe in* perfection and strive to attain it.

*I believe in* salvation through trying just a bit harder than I did
yesterday.

*I believe in* calorie counters as the inspired word of god, and memorize
them accordingly.

*I believe in* bathroom scales as an indicator of my daily successes and
failures.

*I believe in* hell, because I sometimes think that I'm living in it.

*I believe in* a wholly black and white world, the losing of weight,
recrimination for sins, the abnegation of the body and a life ever fasting.

*Amen*

*http://www.beyondveg.com/inanna/eating-disorders/anorexic-creed-1a.shtml
*

**************************************************************************

*So there is more at stake here than just gmos. Let my kids eat
oreos...their bodies will tell them when to stop. It's none of my
business. I'm here to help them get the info they want and need when they
ask.
*

*One final thing, when you rule by fear, you create a child who is
anxious and fearful. And that's not a joyful way to live. And it's a hell
of a lot harder to undo that than it is to stop eating Doritos. And that's
from PERSONAL experience not studies.*

*Karen
*

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

missalexmissalex

Hi Camille,

If you go to the main "Messages" page and type "allergy" in the "Subject" box, you'll come up with a bunch of posts on the topic.

As far as the effects of continually getting eczema, if you haven't already, join the "foodlab" Yahoo Group and ask there. It's all about figuring out and dealing with food allergies/sensitivities and if anyone would know, it's them.

Good luck! My daughter had allergic colitis (bloody poop! yay!) from dairy as a baby so we've avoided it thus far, using many of the strategies you seem to use. Peanuts seem to give her eczema.If she gets it again next time we get peanut butter crackers, I think I'm going to take a photo, to help her remember how awful it was.

Alex
mama to Katya, 28 mos


--- In [email protected], "Paul & Camille" <morlingfamily@...> wrote:
>
> I am new to this, and my son does have a dairy allergy. He comes out in very itchy eczema all over his body if he eats anything with milk in it for days afterwards. I feel really sorry for him when this happens, he is only 5.
>
> Does anyone think this will affect him adversley???

Paul & Camille

Thankyou Alex,

I will have a look at that. I had never considered allergy as being holding back food, I guess it is but the results are too horrid to live with. Allergic Colitis sounds terrible, thankgoodness you found what was causing that. Its mostly if we are eating with friends etc that the food is not milk free however most of them know about it and so are very accommodating.

Mason hates the itching and he scratches at night, and as Im right beside him I really know about it, the poor little sweetie.

Thanks for you post :)

Camille
----- Original Message -----
From: missalexmissalex
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, September 15, 2009 9:07 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Food Allergy WAS Re: Re Daughter's weight gain


Hi Camille,

If you go to the main "Messages" page and type "allergy" in the "Subject" box, you'll come up with a bunch of posts on the topic.

As far as the effects of continually getting eczema, if you haven't already, join the "foodlab" Yahoo Group and ask there. It's all about figuring out and dealing with food allergies/sensitivities and if anyone would know, it's them.

Good luck! My daughter had allergic colitis (bloody poop! yay!) from dairy as a baby so we've avoided it thus far, using many of the strategies you seem to use. Peanuts seem to give her eczema.If she gets it again next time we get peanut butter crackers, I think I'm going to take a photo, to help her remember how awful it was.

Alex
mama to Katya, 28 mos

--- In [email protected], "Paul & Camille" <morlingfamily@...> wrote:
>
> I am new to this, and my son does have a dairy allergy. He comes out in very itchy eczema all over his body if he eats anything with milk in it for days afterwards. I feel really sorry for him when this happens, he is only 5.
>
> Does anyone think this will affect him adversley???





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Sep 14, 2009, at 3:36 PM, Paul & Camille wrote:

> Anyway would be interested in peoples take on the whole restricting
> food due to allergy thing, as Ive never thought about it.

Better is to shift your thoughts to helping kids find things they
like to eat. If he chooses to eat milk, be okay with that. He's
testing his limits. Each time he does, he learns more about himself,
about his limits, about his strengths.

It's likely he'll outgrow his allergy*, so each time he tries milk,
it's also his test of the strength of the allergy.

Sometimes it's worth putting up with the negatives to get some
positive so it's helpful to view each time he chooses to eat milk not
as some failing but as an experiment. Sometimes he'll regret it.
Sometimes he won't. Ask him :-) Not in a judgmental way, but in a
thoughtful way. He may be thinking that each time he eats milk he's
failed as though the goal is to never eat milk. I think that's
unreasonable.

The more supportive you are, the more understanding, the easier it
will be for him to understand himself rather than your ideas of who
he should be.

* This is from About.com Allergies.
http://allergies.about.com/od/faq/f/foodoutgrow.htm
> Most children outgrow allergies to milk, egg, soy and wheat,
> typically by 5 years of age. However, only a small proportion of
> children outgrow allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, fish and shellfish.
> The severity of reaction is also a factor in whether a child will
> outgrow a food allergy. If the child�s reaction to eating the food
> was hives or eczema, the food allergy is much more likely to be
> outgrown compared to if they experienced anaphylaxis from eating
> the food.


You may have read similar things. You may have read contrary things!
But it's a piece in the puzzle anyway.

Joyce





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karen Swanay

I can have *some* milk. There are times I make the deliberate decision to
eat ice cream or something and I know I'm going to pay for it the next day.
Kids deserve the same consideration. I do pay but it is worth it. One of
my boys is showing the same inability to eat certain things. I tell him if
he's going to pay for eating something his body doesn't like, he should at
least eat the good stuff so now when he gets ice cream he's more choosy
about which kinds, he won't get sick for the artificial stuff anymore. =)

Karen
"I argue that the Talmud is about the constant struggle to understand."
~Arthur Hertzberg


On Mon, Sep 14, 2009 at 8:03 PM, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>wrote:

>
> On Sep 14, 2009, at 3:36 PM, Paul & Camille wrote:
>
> > Anyway would be interested in peoples take on the whole restricting
> > food due to allergy thing, as Ive never thought about it.
>
> Better is to shift your thoughts to helping kids find things they
> like to eat. If he chooses to eat milk, be okay with that. He's
> testing his limits. Each time he does, he learns more about himself,
> about his limits, about his strengths.
>
> It's likely he'll outgrow his allergy*, so each time he tries milk,
> it's also his test of the strength of the allergy.
>
> Sometimes it's worth putting up with the negatives to get some
> positive so it's helpful to view each time he chooses to eat milk not
> as some failing but as an experiment. Sometimes he'll regret it.
> Sometimes he won't. Ask him :-) Not in a judgmental way, but in a
> thoughtful way. He may be thinking that each time he eats milk he's
> failed as though the goal is to never eat milk. I think that's
> unreasonable.
>
> The more supportive you are, the more understanding, the easier it
> will be for him to understand himself rather than your ideas of who
> he should be.
>
> * This is from About.com Allergies.
> http://allergies.about.com/od/faq/f/foodoutgrow.htm
> > Most children outgrow allergies to milk, egg, soy and wheat,
> > typically by 5 years of age. However, only a small proportion of
> > children outgrow allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, fish and shellfish.
> > The severity of reaction is also a factor in whether a child will
> > outgrow a food allergy. If the child�s reaction to eating the food
> > was hives or eczema, the food allergy is much more likely to be
> > outgrown compared to if they experienced anaphylaxis from eating
> > the food.
>
>
> You may have read similar things. You may have read contrary things!
> But it's a piece in the puzzle anyway.
>
> Joyce
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Paul & Camille

Thanks Joyce & Karen,

I too have allergies and sure sometimes Ill think okay Im just gonna have
pizza 'll be worth it :) Its the same with Mason. We do get all the stuff
he can eat, soy icecream, cheese, milk, chocolate and stuff without milk,
you can usually find stuff if you look; however sometimes, happened the
other day we had biscuits that had milk, he ate one, was itchy but he liked
the biscuit.

From what you say Im pretty sure Im doing all I can. He not bad if he eats
anything its just his body reacts to it, we usually choose things that dont
have milk in it as he doesnt like the reaction he gets.

None of us has a badness attachment to dairy - just that it doesnt go well
with us. And yes I hope he grows out of it, my eldest did so it is good to
try from time to time when he wants to, just to see :)

Thanks, Camille


----- Original Message -----
From: "Karen Swanay" <luvbullbreeds@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, September 15, 2009 1:06 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re Daughter's weight gain


I can have *some* milk. There are times I make the deliberate decision to
eat ice cream or something and I know I'm going to pay for it the next day.
Kids deserve the same consideration. I do pay but it is worth it. One of
my boys is showing the same inability to eat certain things. I tell him if
he's going to pay for eating something his body doesn't like, he should at
least eat the good stuff so now when he gets ice cream he's more choosy
about which kinds, he won't get sick for the artificial stuff anymore. =)

Karen
"I argue that the Talmud is about the constant struggle to understand."
~Arthur Hertzberg


On Mon, Sep 14, 2009 at 8:03 PM, Joyce Fetteroll
<jfetteroll@...>wrote:

>
> On Sep 14, 2009, at 3:36 PM, Paul & Camille wrote:
>
> > Anyway would be interested in peoples take on the whole restricting
> > food due to allergy thing, as Ive never thought about it.
>
> Better is to shift your thoughts to helping kids find things they
> like to eat. If he chooses to eat milk, be okay with that. He's
> testing his limits. Each time he does, he learns more about himself,
> about his limits, about his strengths.
>
> It's likely he'll outgrow his allergy*, so each time he tries milk,
> it's also his test of the strength of the allergy.
>
> Sometimes it's worth putting up with the negatives to get some
> positive so it's helpful to view each time he chooses to eat milk not
> as some failing but as an experiment. Sometimes he'll regret it.
> Sometimes he won't. Ask him :-) Not in a judgmental way, but in a
> thoughtful way. He may be thinking that each time he eats milk he's
> failed as though the goal is to never eat milk. I think that's
> unreasonable.
>
> The more supportive you are, the more understanding, the easier it
> will be for him to understand himself rather than your ideas of who
> he should be.
>
> * This is from About.com Allergies.
> http://allergies.about.com/od/faq/f/foodoutgrow.htm
> > Most children outgrow allergies to milk, egg, soy and wheat,
> > typically by 5 years of age. However, only a small proportion of
> > children outgrow allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, fish and shellfish.
> > The severity of reaction is also a factor in whether a child will
> > outgrow a food allergy. If the child's reaction to eating the food
> > was hives or eczema, the food allergy is much more likely to be
> > outgrown compared to if they experienced anaphylaxis from eating
> > the food.
>
>
> You may have read similar things. You may have read contrary things!
> But it's a piece in the puzzle anyway.
>
> Joyce
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



------------------------------------

Yahoo! Groups Links

Gwen

Zoe (three next month) has a peanut allergy.   We do have peanut butter in the house and peanut M&M's are my husband's favorite snack.  Right now, we tell her that peanuts will make her sick and we are careful to keep items with peanuts out of her way.

Her allergy is severe enough that I carry an epi-pen just in case, but not so severe that we avoid non-peanut products that were made on machines that process peanuts.  I honestly don't know how we'll handle it when she's older.  We just got health insurance again (after eight months without it) and I am considering having her testing again to see if her peanut allergy has changed - I read somewhere that peanut allergy can worsen with age - if hers is getting worse, I would like to know so we can make changes.

Megan (just turned eight) is slightly lactose intolerant. We discovered it when she was around a year old.  It seems to be disappearing as she gets older.  She's always had soy milk.  We tried alternatives ice creams and cheeses and she decided she didn't like them.

Usually what will happen is she'll go through a period where she really wants cheese - so she'll have cheese & crackers, grilled cheeses, quesadillas, and just snacking on cheese - then she'll have some tummy trouble and we'll try to figure it out and realize she's been eating lots of cheese.

Sometimes I'll notice she's eating lots of cheese and ask her how her stomach is feeling in a very neutral way.  She isn't a kid who likes feeling sick, so she self-regulates pretty well in general.

We also live with daily asthma medications for both kids (and husband), so this kind of thing isn't a big deal in our house.  It is a part of our life, but not the focus of our life - if that makes sense.

Gwen



--- On Mon, 9/14/09, Paul & Camille <morlingfamily@...> wrote:
Anyway would be interested in peoples take on the whole restricting food due to allergy thing, as Ive never thought about it.

Thanks,  Camille





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

amberlee_b

I have been following these threads and just wanted to "weigh in". My son has a severe allergy to red food coloring. It is really horrible what happens. I tried withholding the foods (he loves skittles) but realized he would have to make the decisions. So I let him choose and we discussed what happens when he has red food coloring. He tested it out for himself and gets to choose. After a month or 2 of ups and downs he came to me and said he wanted to be able to eat skittles or m&m's but knew how it made him feel horrible, how he felt completely out of control. He will still buy skittles and M&Ms however he shares or gives the ones with red away and keeps the others.

Another thing he has done for the past year or so is eat almost exclusively "white" food. Grits, milk, butter, cheerios, flour tortillas with cheese, cheese and crackers, mac and cheese. Sometimes he will eat PB&J sandwiches or tuna sub on wheat from Subway (the only kind he likes). I don't say anything, just let him fix what sounds best. He doesn't like tomatoes only ketchup....Do I worry about what he is eating? yes....but I have noticed lately that because I don't say things, because I trust him, he has chosen to eat more fruits and veggies. Because I give him respect and trust him to make his own food choices he doesn't feel the need to get candy that makes him feel bad--that he is allergic to.

There was a time when he was younger that all he wanted to eat was bananas, green beans and oatmeal....and everyday lunch for months was hot dogs or mac and cheese. That was it. That is who he is, how he is. For now it is white foods....in the future it may be all green.

Paul & Camille

Thanks Gwen, its pretty much like that with us too. Peanuts I believe are alot less likely to outgrow, however each child is individual so who knows, I hope your does. Its just easier all round without allergies, but if you have them you deal with it and like you say the children seem to be pretty much self regulating - apart from the severe ones when you cant let them make that choice (anaphylaxis).

Thanks for the response :)

Camille



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Gwen

I know she is not very likely to outgrow it, but I'm hoping  :-)

We discovered her allergy when she took a bite of my peanut butter covered waffle.  She started wheezing and coughing and her eyes got red and puffy.  She nursed for a bit and then she was fine.  The doctor suspected peanut allergy and sent us to an allergist.  They confirmed, but said it wasn't a severe reaction.

I am very allergic to most raw fruits & vegetables - it makes me sad that I can't eat a banana or kiwi or avocado - but I'm really fond of breathing, so I abstain.

Gwen


--- On Tue, 9/15/09, Paul & Camille <morlingfamily@...> wrote:

Thanks Gwen,  its pretty much like that with us too.  Peanuts I believe are alot less likely to outgrow, however each child is individual so who knows, I hope your does.  Its just easier all round without allergies, but if you have them you deal with it and like you say the children seem to be pretty much self regulating - apart from the severe ones when you cant let them make that choice (anaphylaxis).

Thanks for the response :)

Camille





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Paul & Camille

Oh you poor thing. I get terrible stomach aches from Avocado & bananas, but fortunately not the breathing. I think its so terrible when you have breathing problems, and can well understand you keeping well away from these things too. I totally agree breathing is preferable :)

Hope your daughter grows out of it, it must have been terribly scary when it happened.

Camille
----- Original Message -----
From: Gwen
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, September 15, 2009 7:04 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re Daughter's weight gain


I know she is not very likely to outgrow it, but I'm hoping :-)

We discovered her allergy when she took a bite of my peanut butter covered waffle. She started wheezing and coughing and her eyes got red and puffy. She nursed for a bit and then she was fine. The doctor suspected peanut allergy and sent us to an allergist. They confirmed, but said it wasn't a severe reaction.

I am very allergic to most raw fruits & vegetables - it makes me sad that I can't eat a banana or kiwi or avocado - but I'm really fond of breathing, so I abstain.

Gwen

--- On Tue, 9/15/09, Paul & Camille <morlingfamily@...> wrote:

Thanks Gwen, its pretty much like that with us too. Peanuts I believe are alot less likely to outgrow, however each child is individual so who knows, I hope your does. Its just easier all round without allergies, but if you have them you deal with it and like you say the children seem to be pretty much self regulating - apart from the severe ones when you cant let them make that choice (anaphylaxis).

Thanks for the response :)

Camille

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Paul & Camille

That is so interesting. I remember reading once, long long ago about how young ones will know what their body needs and will perhaps eat salt or butter or something that their body needs that we would think yuk... So why not later on. Perhaps it is a need in him to eat certain colour food for the vitamin/mineral content during growth and then move onto another colour - very interesting.

My son likes things that I find quite odd sometimes. He will suddenly want beetroot and he can sit and eat and eat a heap of it just by itself - of course you can tell a day later as it shows in the toilet! Then he loves tomatoes - chutney, sauce,soup, anything and curry, anything spicy he loves; hummus; doesnt like meat much at all, but loves chilli beans on nachoes, but wont eat it if it has mince with them.

Anyway thats probably enough about that, thanks for sharing :)

Camille
----- Original Message -----
From: amberlee_b
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, September 15, 2009 6:49 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Food Allergy WAS Re: Re Daughter's weight gain


I have been following these threads and just wanted to "weigh in". My son has a severe allergy to red food coloring. It is really horrible what happens. I tried withholding the foods (he loves skittles) but realized he would have to make the decisions. So I let him choose and we discussed what happens when he has red food coloring. He tested it out for himself and gets to choose. After a month or 2 of ups and downs he came to me and said he wanted to be able to eat skittles or m&m's but knew how it made him feel horrible, how he felt completely out of control. He will still buy skittles and M&Ms however he shares or gives the ones with red away and keeps the others.

Another thing he has done for the past year or so is eat almost exclusively "white" food. Grits, milk, butter, cheerios, flour tortillas with cheese, cheese and crackers, mac and cheese. Sometimes he will eat PB&J sandwiches or tuna sub on wheat from Subway (the only kind he likes). I don't say anything, just let him fix what sounds best. He doesn't like tomatoes only ketchup....Do I worry about what he is eating? yes....but I have noticed lately that because I don't say things, because I trust him, he has chosen to eat more fruits and veggies. Because I give him respect and trust him to make his own food choices he doesn't feel the need to get candy that makes him feel bad--that he is allergic to.

There was a time when he was younger that all he wanted to eat was bananas, green beans and oatmeal....and everyday lunch for months was hot dogs or mac and cheese. That was it. That is who he is, how he is. For now it is white foods....in the future it may be all green.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

JRossedd

It seems to me food effects on the body and mind are like school math,
btw.

Most physical and psychological food effects are not true "allergies" or
weight disorders, which unfortunately seems to set up the minority of
people with true food allergies and clinically serious weight problems,
to be suspected of overreacting, making excuses or even lying. Math
disability/disorder is the same. Most people don't have either one but
almost everyone has to work at some aspect of math and weight control,
so they believe true food or math processing disorder doesn't exist for
anyone.