New to List & Unschooling
Dee Adams
Thought I'd take a moment to introduce myself. I'm Dee & I have 5 out of 8
children at home right now. I took 3 out of 4 publicly schooled children out
of school back in December '04 (the 4th wanted to stay & he was happy & well
adjusted, so I let him. He's just gone off to college this fall.) We are on
Cape Cod.
We have done "school at home" with little success for most of this time.
However, I did notice that they seemed to learn more when they were
neglecting" their assigned work. But I still hesitated on dropping it
because of fear of what "others" would say. You know, "they don't DO
school??" *gasp*. Anyway, after much research & prayer, I really feel led to
change our lives in many areas, including dropping all formal curricula.
I have read articles from Christian perspectives (we have been since '06),
both pro and con, and am even more sure that this is the right path for us.
I subscribed to this list a few days ago and have already learned quite a
bit about general attitudes towards parenting (mostly positive!). I am
working diligently on my own temper. I am ashamed to say that I am a yeller.
I let the little things get under my skin. But I've read so many helpful
articles (lots from Joyfully Rejoycing) that are helping me redefine my own
attitude about housework & parenting in general. I do believe we need to
train up our children", but more by modeling (aka discipleship) than by
force. If they see me working hard at cleaning things up, they MAY decide to
help (which they have been, realizing that the less I have to do, the more
free time we have together) more. Much less stress than the old scheduled
lists. But, I still get the occasional attack of "OMG! Look at this mess!".
Guess I'm still learning, too. Now I apologize for any outbursts. The kids
have been great.
Okay, I went off track a bit there....
Anyway, at home I have Melissa (14), Sarah (13), Molly (almost 10 - Oct. 22)
Michael (4) and Abigail (20 months). I also have a 21 year old (not at home
no real contact - long story) son, 16 year old son (lives with Dad -
another long story) and my 18 year old son that just started college. :)
Justin (the 16 y.o.), Melissa & Sarah were the original 3 I took out of
school. Justin (at his Dad's) is back in P.S. Melissa tried (her request)
going back last year for 7th grade. She lasted a month & wanted home again.
:) Molly is my first to never be in a public school and God-willing she or
the others never will be again.
Thanks for "listening" and I look forward to learning more from you all and
getting to know you better.
~Dee
Diary of a Mad Crafter
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
children at home right now. I took 3 out of 4 publicly schooled children out
of school back in December '04 (the 4th wanted to stay & he was happy & well
adjusted, so I let him. He's just gone off to college this fall.) We are on
Cape Cod.
We have done "school at home" with little success for most of this time.
However, I did notice that they seemed to learn more when they were
neglecting" their assigned work. But I still hesitated on dropping it
because of fear of what "others" would say. You know, "they don't DO
school??" *gasp*. Anyway, after much research & prayer, I really feel led to
change our lives in many areas, including dropping all formal curricula.
I have read articles from Christian perspectives (we have been since '06),
both pro and con, and am even more sure that this is the right path for us.
I subscribed to this list a few days ago and have already learned quite a
bit about general attitudes towards parenting (mostly positive!). I am
working diligently on my own temper. I am ashamed to say that I am a yeller.
I let the little things get under my skin. But I've read so many helpful
articles (lots from Joyfully Rejoycing) that are helping me redefine my own
attitude about housework & parenting in general. I do believe we need to
train up our children", but more by modeling (aka discipleship) than by
force. If they see me working hard at cleaning things up, they MAY decide to
help (which they have been, realizing that the less I have to do, the more
free time we have together) more. Much less stress than the old scheduled
lists. But, I still get the occasional attack of "OMG! Look at this mess!".
Guess I'm still learning, too. Now I apologize for any outbursts. The kids
have been great.
Okay, I went off track a bit there....
Anyway, at home I have Melissa (14), Sarah (13), Molly (almost 10 - Oct. 22)
Michael (4) and Abigail (20 months). I also have a 21 year old (not at home
no real contact - long story) son, 16 year old son (lives with Dad -
another long story) and my 18 year old son that just started college. :)
Justin (the 16 y.o.), Melissa & Sarah were the original 3 I took out of
school. Justin (at his Dad's) is back in P.S. Melissa tried (her request)
going back last year for 7th grade. She lasted a month & wanted home again.
:) Molly is my first to never be in a public school and God-willing she or
the others never will be again.
Thanks for "listening" and I look forward to learning more from you all and
getting to know you better.
~Dee
Diary of a Mad Crafter
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "Dee Adams" <Dee72_Adams@...> wrote:
A little further along my process I would start by yelling an "I" statement. Like "I am sooooo frustrated right now!" That helped shift the dynamic from me yelling At someone to me just yelling. That was better.
Now I (mostly) manage to take a deep breath and think before I ever start yelling - this stuff gets easier with practice, I promise!
Oh! Something that helps is being sensitive to my own needs and moods. Knowing when I'm grouchy bc I need to eat, or rest, or am PMSy, for instance, helps me slow down a little and have less strenuous expectations for myself. Plus, I can let the family know "Oh, sure I'll do that with you as soon as I eat, I'm getting hungry and grouchy, so I'd better eat something..."
and just as a side note, since food is the big issue of the day, this gets to be one of the times I talk about what's In food and how it affects moods etc, as it: "so I'd better eat something with protein and some vitamins in it before I bite anyone's head off."
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
>I do believe we need toYes, when we strive to really live our own guiding principles, whether those be respect, kindness, generosity, grace, joyfullness... our kids get to see and hear and feel those things - they become real and tangible to our kids, not just ideas. Those values start to feel good, so good that they want to share the same kindness and generosity and joy with others (even their parents, hooray!).
> train up our children", but more by modeling (aka discipleship) than by
> force.
>>I amI used to be a yeller. I've gotten much much better! Taking deep breaths helped, but for awhile I'd have to take a deep breath somewhere about ten seconds into yelling - you know, that first time I'd run out of air, I'd take a deep breath and think "this isn't what I want to be doing" and then stop. And appologise and start over.
> working diligently on my own temper. I am ashamed to say that I am a yeller.
A little further along my process I would start by yelling an "I" statement. Like "I am sooooo frustrated right now!" That helped shift the dynamic from me yelling At someone to me just yelling. That was better.
Now I (mostly) manage to take a deep breath and think before I ever start yelling - this stuff gets easier with practice, I promise!
Oh! Something that helps is being sensitive to my own needs and moods. Knowing when I'm grouchy bc I need to eat, or rest, or am PMSy, for instance, helps me slow down a little and have less strenuous expectations for myself. Plus, I can let the family know "Oh, sure I'll do that with you as soon as I eat, I'm getting hungry and grouchy, so I'd better eat something..."
and just as a side note, since food is the big issue of the day, this gets to be one of the times I talk about what's In food and how it affects moods etc, as it: "so I'd better eat something with protein and some vitamins in it before I bite anyone's head off."
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
Debra Rossing
Another way to force yourself to not yell is to tuck your chin in toward
your neck - it's just not possible to yell in that position.
We actually have at times encouraged DS to yell - not AT anyone, just
basic loud venting sound blast, not even any words though sometimes
"Frustrated" or "Angry" comes out as well. What I've observed (totally
unscientific) is that a big sound blast yell (a) requires lots of muscle
involvement (b) requires a large intake of fresh oxygen all the way to
the bottom of the lungs (c) expels lots of CO2 - all of which contribute
to a decrease in stress feelings and help clear the brain.
I've also learned that the airplane guidelines regarding cabin pressure
apply to everyday "pressures" as well - make sure you put your own
"oxygen mask" on first and then deal with the kids. For instance, I used
to get really frustrated trying to get DS out the door for a morning
event (stuff where we had little control over the timing). It kept
happening over and over. So, I talked with DH about it first (to get
some feedback on what it 'looked like') and realized that I was trying
to get DS moving before I had breakfast. Bad move. I backed things up a
little, so that I had time to shower, dress, eat breakfast, and gather
whatever 'gear' we needed before I even went to see if DS was awake.
Then I could calmly and completely focus on him and his needs instead
of trying to get his clothing on him AND gathering stuff AND getting
myself dressed. It was the idea of a 'bottleneck' that I gleaned from
Raising Your Spirited Child. Good book for folks looking for new tools
regardless of whether you actually are dealing with a spirited
personality or not.
Read a brief bit in Pop Sci the other day that swearing actually
increases pain tolerance (guess that's why even the most gentle mannered
folks let out a bit of blue verbiage when they step on lego pieces at 2
in the morning!)
Deb R
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your neck - it's just not possible to yell in that position.
We actually have at times encouraged DS to yell - not AT anyone, just
basic loud venting sound blast, not even any words though sometimes
"Frustrated" or "Angry" comes out as well. What I've observed (totally
unscientific) is that a big sound blast yell (a) requires lots of muscle
involvement (b) requires a large intake of fresh oxygen all the way to
the bottom of the lungs (c) expels lots of CO2 - all of which contribute
to a decrease in stress feelings and help clear the brain.
I've also learned that the airplane guidelines regarding cabin pressure
apply to everyday "pressures" as well - make sure you put your own
"oxygen mask" on first and then deal with the kids. For instance, I used
to get really frustrated trying to get DS out the door for a morning
event (stuff where we had little control over the timing). It kept
happening over and over. So, I talked with DH about it first (to get
some feedback on what it 'looked like') and realized that I was trying
to get DS moving before I had breakfast. Bad move. I backed things up a
little, so that I had time to shower, dress, eat breakfast, and gather
whatever 'gear' we needed before I even went to see if DS was awake.
Then I could calmly and completely focus on him and his needs instead
of trying to get his clothing on him AND gathering stuff AND getting
myself dressed. It was the idea of a 'bottleneck' that I gleaned from
Raising Your Spirited Child. Good book for folks looking for new tools
regardless of whether you actually are dealing with a spirited
personality or not.
Read a brief bit in Pop Sci the other day that swearing actually
increases pain tolerance (guess that's why even the most gentle mannered
folks let out a bit of blue verbiage when they step on lego pieces at 2
in the morning!)
Deb R
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
www.mastercam.com
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Paul & Camille
Hey Debra,
I really enjoyed that, thanks for sharing.
Camille
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I really enjoyed that, thanks for sharing.
>Read a brief bit in Pop Sci the other day that swearing actually increases pain tolerance >That was interesting reading that because I dont swear and my pain threshold is dreadful - Im a total sook , perhaps thats why - who wouldnt known! ;)
Camille
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jrossedd
This gave me a chuckle because our 14-year-old son informed me of this with glee in the car just the other day. I hadn't heard it and I don't know where he got it -- online or cable, I suppose. He said it was something about how long you can tolerate ice water on your skin and related it to pitchers icing their arms after a game (we're big Red Sox fans.)
> >Read a brief bit in Pop Sci the other day that swearing actually increases pain tolerance >
>
> That was interesting reading that because I dont swear and my pain threshold is dreadful - Im a total sook , perhaps thats why - who wouldnt known! ;)
>
> Camille
>
>
jrossedd
It was an unschooling connection for him, come to think of it. I've got a bad right knee from tennis and getting old <grin> and lately it flares up especially when my leg is bent and working, on the accelerator and brakes. I was groaning about it and he offered the research as help for me, the way I offer him ideas. Go ahead and swear mom, it might make you feel better!
> JJ wrote:
>
> This gave me a chuckle because our 14-year-old son informed me of this with glee in the car just the other day. I hadn't heard it and I don't know where he got it -- online or cable, I suppose. He said it was something about how long you can tolerate ice water on your skin and related it to pitchers icing their arms after a game (we're big Red Sox fans.)
>
>
> > >Read a brief bit in Pop Sci the other day that swearing actually increases pain tolerance >
> >
Paul & Camille
LOL, that was really funny. What a thoughtful little sweetie to say that :) I can just imagine my son saying something like that too :)
It was an unschooling connection for him, come to think of it. I've got a bad right knee from tennis and getting old <grin> and lately it flares up especially when my leg is bent and working, on the accelerator and brakes. I was groaning about it and he offered the research as help for me, the way I offer him ideas. Go ahead and swear mom, it might make you feel better!
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It was an unschooling connection for him, come to think of it. I've got a bad right knee from tennis and getting old <grin> and lately it flares up especially when my leg is bent and working, on the accelerator and brakes. I was groaning about it and he offered the research as help for me, the way I offer him ideas. Go ahead and swear mom, it might make you feel better!
Recent Activity
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Visit Your Group
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Yahoo! for Good
Get inspired
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easy 1-click access
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Yahoo! Groups
Start a group
in 3 easy steps.
Connect with others.
.
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