legality of unschooling in VA
lowderra
I posted this on another board and a lady named SandraDodd kindly directed me here. Possibly someone here can help me
I have a 4 and a half year old girl and a 3 year old girl. My oldest went into early intervention at 17 months because she was NOT talking at all, no eye contact, didn't play with other kids, wouldn't initiate hugs, etc. She did well, entered spec ed preschool, did even better, blah blah blah......
She has a school label of autism, we are in the process of securing an official medical diagnosis, autism runs in my family....but she's seemed to adapt to it well and is highly functional and seems happy and bright.
Public school is great right? I should be thrilled, right? Well, I'm thrilled that she's now totally social and curious and talks all the time and is affectionate and hugs us, etc. I'm glad she's had what she's had. And she is going back for another year and they are saying "she'll mainstream into kindergarten no probem, she's so smart, blah, blah, blah."
I'm unconvinced she'll mainstream well. She's doing fabulous now because it's unstructured with small class size and they work around her issues (distracts incredibly easily, latches onto one subject or interest and only wants to talk about/learn about that, etc). But what is going to happen when it's her and 29 other kids?
Besides which, she's already reading on a first grade level (she taught herself somehow at age 3, and her younger sister is doing the same thing) and she's grasping math now too. We don't do worksheets or anything, we count jars of spaghetti sauce and trikes and tomatoes as we pull them off the vine, and distract them at restaraunts with putting numbers together, and we have some math videos with puppets - she must have picked it up just like the reading. If she's talking about onesies and tensies at age 4, what is a kindergarten teacher going to do with her? Other than keeping her from setting fire to the curtains from sheer boredom? She can write, but not well, she'd rather type and use a mouse. I doubt they'll let her bring a laptop to kindergarten.
The public school, while full of nice people, say they don't pull out for more advanced work until 1st grade. And they won't even consider a gifted program until 3rd grade. By then I fear she'll be bitter and a hard-core class troublemaker just from boredom. They've done a great job with her so far and I'm really happy with her progress. But spec ed and "regular" classes are totally different. I can see public school being a problem with her not right now, but next year.
And her sister is shaping up to be an early reader (knows all her letters, and a couple of simple words) and interested in counting (she just turned 3) and the way she's into everything, I suspect we are going to have the same "problem" with her.
What can I legally do? Can I elect to just skip kindergarten and tell them we'll pursue private educational opportunities (i.e. I'll take her to the pool, do gymnastics, and probably join some playgroup so she'll have buddies to hang out with, and let her continue to play her educational computer games) until she is "old enough" to be in a class where she can be pulled out for more advanced work?
Would it be considered truancy to not enroll her in kindy - do I need to sign up with some kind of curriculum? And if so, is there some kind of curriculum that is very flexible? A typical kindergarten curriculum she could probably complete in about 2 weeks or less, and why blow the money on stuff she already knows?
I welcome all info and tips. I'll be honest and say upfront that I've never been a big fan of homeschooling - but she's just so different and so is her sister - I'm not really seeing any other options. Her speech therapist and her old speech therapist and her teacher from last years spec ed all agree she's going to be a challenge to figure out how to serve her in a standard kindergarten, but they have no suggestions. I stumbled upon unschooling while looking into hiring her a private tutor - then it occurred to me that why can't *I* be her tutor. I work part-time as a nurse, and working 3-11 shifts (mostly on the weekends) is pretty conducive to doing this I would think.
Thank you in advance.
I have a 4 and a half year old girl and a 3 year old girl. My oldest went into early intervention at 17 months because she was NOT talking at all, no eye contact, didn't play with other kids, wouldn't initiate hugs, etc. She did well, entered spec ed preschool, did even better, blah blah blah......
She has a school label of autism, we are in the process of securing an official medical diagnosis, autism runs in my family....but she's seemed to adapt to it well and is highly functional and seems happy and bright.
Public school is great right? I should be thrilled, right? Well, I'm thrilled that she's now totally social and curious and talks all the time and is affectionate and hugs us, etc. I'm glad she's had what she's had. And she is going back for another year and they are saying "she'll mainstream into kindergarten no probem, she's so smart, blah, blah, blah."
I'm unconvinced she'll mainstream well. She's doing fabulous now because it's unstructured with small class size and they work around her issues (distracts incredibly easily, latches onto one subject or interest and only wants to talk about/learn about that, etc). But what is going to happen when it's her and 29 other kids?
Besides which, she's already reading on a first grade level (she taught herself somehow at age 3, and her younger sister is doing the same thing) and she's grasping math now too. We don't do worksheets or anything, we count jars of spaghetti sauce and trikes and tomatoes as we pull them off the vine, and distract them at restaraunts with putting numbers together, and we have some math videos with puppets - she must have picked it up just like the reading. If she's talking about onesies and tensies at age 4, what is a kindergarten teacher going to do with her? Other than keeping her from setting fire to the curtains from sheer boredom? She can write, but not well, she'd rather type and use a mouse. I doubt they'll let her bring a laptop to kindergarten.
The public school, while full of nice people, say they don't pull out for more advanced work until 1st grade. And they won't even consider a gifted program until 3rd grade. By then I fear she'll be bitter and a hard-core class troublemaker just from boredom. They've done a great job with her so far and I'm really happy with her progress. But spec ed and "regular" classes are totally different. I can see public school being a problem with her not right now, but next year.
And her sister is shaping up to be an early reader (knows all her letters, and a couple of simple words) and interested in counting (she just turned 3) and the way she's into everything, I suspect we are going to have the same "problem" with her.
What can I legally do? Can I elect to just skip kindergarten and tell them we'll pursue private educational opportunities (i.e. I'll take her to the pool, do gymnastics, and probably join some playgroup so she'll have buddies to hang out with, and let her continue to play her educational computer games) until she is "old enough" to be in a class where she can be pulled out for more advanced work?
Would it be considered truancy to not enroll her in kindy - do I need to sign up with some kind of curriculum? And if so, is there some kind of curriculum that is very flexible? A typical kindergarten curriculum she could probably complete in about 2 weeks or less, and why blow the money on stuff she already knows?
I welcome all info and tips. I'll be honest and say upfront that I've never been a big fan of homeschooling - but she's just so different and so is her sister - I'm not really seeing any other options. Her speech therapist and her old speech therapist and her teacher from last years spec ed all agree she's going to be a challenge to figure out how to serve her in a standard kindergarten, but they have no suggestions. I stumbled upon unschooling while looking into hiring her a private tutor - then it occurred to me that why can't *I* be her tutor. I work part-time as a nurse, and working 3-11 shifts (mostly on the weekends) is pretty conducive to doing this I would think.
Thank you in advance.
Jacque Valdez
I do not know anything about the laws in VA we live in AZ. However what you
described about your daughter upto the point you are at was my son who is
now 8. I listened to the school BECAUSE i had no choice....they told me it
was there decision not mine how my son would be treated at school and what
subjects he would or would not take my opinion ended at the IEP which I did
not even get to write....but not the point or what I wanted to say...my son
went to Kinder and he did OK till he got hurt then he shut down no one knew
what happened to him and I ended up in an emergency room in the middle of
the night with a 5 year old with SEVERE chest wall bruising and a CPS
working standing over my should reading to snatch my son and his 5 siblings
sitting in the lobby....it was the absolute worst mistake I have ever made
with him letting him go to a public school. We immediately brought him home
not to homeschool but to virtual school because my husband didn't think I
would be structured enough to teach our children then after 3 years of that
and him seeing how it was not working we are unschooling. I am not pushing
for any particular way to educate your child but be very careful if you do
let your daughter go to school because they are sneaky and most likely will
not give your child any help then they will be labeled the trouble maker and
that sticks. Sorry if this sounded harsh it was just a really troubling and
scary time in our sons life and we fought like hell and then realized we
were fighting for nothing at all really.
Jacque
described about your daughter upto the point you are at was my son who is
now 8. I listened to the school BECAUSE i had no choice....they told me it
was there decision not mine how my son would be treated at school and what
subjects he would or would not take my opinion ended at the IEP which I did
not even get to write....but not the point or what I wanted to say...my son
went to Kinder and he did OK till he got hurt then he shut down no one knew
what happened to him and I ended up in an emergency room in the middle of
the night with a 5 year old with SEVERE chest wall bruising and a CPS
working standing over my should reading to snatch my son and his 5 siblings
sitting in the lobby....it was the absolute worst mistake I have ever made
with him letting him go to a public school. We immediately brought him home
not to homeschool but to virtual school because my husband didn't think I
would be structured enough to teach our children then after 3 years of that
and him seeing how it was not working we are unschooling. I am not pushing
for any particular way to educate your child but be very careful if you do
let your daughter go to school because they are sneaky and most likely will
not give your child any help then they will be labeled the trouble maker and
that sticks. Sorry if this sounded harsh it was just a really troubling and
scary time in our sons life and we fought like hell and then realized we
were fighting for nothing at all really.
Jacque
On Wed, Sep 9, 2009 at 9:33 AM, lowderra <lowderra@...> wrote:
>
>
> I posted this on another board and a lady named SandraDodd kindly directed
> me here. Possibly someone here can help me
>
> I have a 4 and a half year old girl and a 3 year old girl. My oldest went
> into early intervention at 17 months because she was NOT talking at all, no
> eye contact, didn't play with other kids, wouldn't initiate hugs, etc. She
> did well, entered spec ed preschool, did even better, blah blah blah......
>
> She has a school label of autism, we are in the process of securing an
> official medical diagnosis, autism runs in my family....but she's seemed to
> adapt to it well and is highly functional and seems happy and bright.
>
> Public school is great right? I should be thrilled, right? Well, I'm
> thrilled that she's now totally social and curious and talks all the time
> and is affectionate and hugs us, etc. I'm glad she's had what she's had. And
> she is going back for another year and they are saying "she'll mainstream
> into kindergarten no probem, she's so smart, blah, blah, blah."
>
> I'm unconvinced she'll mainstream well. She's doing fabulous now because
> it's unstructured with small class size and they work around her issues
> (distracts incredibly easily, latches onto one subject or interest and only
> wants to talk about/learn about that, etc). But what is going to happen when
> it's her and 29 other kids?
>
> Besides which, she's already reading on a first grade level (she taught
> herself somehow at age 3, and her younger sister is doing the same thing)
> and she's grasping math now too. We don't do worksheets or anything, we
> count jars of spaghetti sauce and trikes and tomatoes as we pull them off
> the vine, and distract them at restaraunts with putting numbers together,
> and we have some math videos with puppets - she must have picked it up just
> like the reading. If she's talking about onesies and tensies at age 4, what
> is a kindergarten teacher going to do with her? Other than keeping her from
> setting fire to the curtains from sheer boredom? She can write, but not
> well, she'd rather type and use a mouse. I doubt they'll let her bring a
> laptop to kindergarten.
>
> The public school, while full of nice people, say they don't pull out for
> more advanced work until 1st grade. And they won't even consider a gifted
> program until 3rd grade. By then I fear she'll be bitter and a hard-core
> class troublemaker just from boredom. They've done a great job with her so
> far and I'm really happy with her progress. But spec ed and "regular"
> classes are totally different. I can see public school being a problem with
> her not right now, but next year.
>
> And her sister is shaping up to be an early reader (knows all her letters,
> and a couple of simple words) and interested in counting (she just turned 3)
> and the way she's into everything, I suspect we are going to have the same
> "problem" with her.
>
> What can I legally do? Can I elect to just skip kindergarten and tell them
> we'll pursue private educational opportunities (i.e. I'll take her to the
> pool, do gymnastics, and probably join some playgroup so she'll have buddies
> to hang out with, and let her continue to play her educational computer
> games) until she is "old enough" to be in a class where she can be pulled
> out for more advanced work?
>
> Would it be considered truancy to not enroll her in kindy - do I need to
> sign up with some kind of curriculum? And if so, is there some kind of
> curriculum that is very flexible? A typical kindergarten curriculum she
> could probably complete in about 2 weeks or less, and why blow the money on
> stuff she already knows?
>
> I welcome all info and tips. I'll be honest and say upfront that I've never
> been a big fan of homeschooling - but she's just so different and so is her
> sister - I'm not really seeing any other options. Her speech therapist and
> her old speech therapist and her teacher from last years spec ed all agree
> she's going to be a challenge to figure out how to serve her in a standard
> kindergarten, but they have no suggestions. I stumbled upon unschooling
> while looking into hiring her a private tutor - then it occurred to me that
> why can't *I* be her tutor. I work part-time as a nurse, and working 3-11
> shifts (mostly on the weekends) is pretty conducive to doing this I would
> think.
>
> Thank you in advance.
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
gruvystarchild
~~ I have a 4 and a half year old girl and a 3 year old girl. My oldest went into early intervention at 17 months because she was NOT talking at all, no eye contact, didn't play with other kids, wouldn't initiate hugs, etc. She did well, entered spec ed preschool, did even better, blah blah blah......~~
Sounds similar to one of my children. He outgrew many of those traits without therapy and without a diagnosis. For a lot of these kids, they're on a hugely different developmental schedule and mainstream thinking is to pathologize everything.
~ She has a school label of autism, we are in the process of securing an official medical diagnosis, autism runs in my family....but she's seemed to adapt to it well and is highly functional and seems happy and bright.~
Happy and bright is good. School can take that away, especially from children/people who don't fit the square peg of school.
~~Public school is great right?~~
Public school is damaging to the spirit, damaging to curiosity and self-confidence and joy of learning.
~~I'm unconvinced she'll mainstream well. ~~
Mainstreaming is the opposite of what I want for my children. I want spirits that positively light the world on fire with their uniqueness.I want children who TRUST themselves more than some institution or "expert". I want children who feel free to BE themselves.
~~ But what is going to happen when it's her and 29 other kids?~~
More troubling,what could happen when she'd being formed into something she isn't? When she's told that the world as she's sees it is "wrong" or "less than"?
~~ I doubt they'll let her bring a laptop to kindergarten.~~
You just struck on something really important. Not the part about control and what they will allow, but the fact that the average home in today's world has more access to information than any previous generation could even imagine! If you have the internet, what would you need a school for??
~~The public school, while full of nice people, say they don't pull out for more advanced work until 1st grade. And they won't even consider a gifted program until 3rd grade.~~
"Gifted" can be just as damaging as any other label. Gifted programs can't help a child be more fully themselves. Freedom to explore the world in your own way and time is more enriching than any program any school can think up.
~~ And her sister is shaping up to be an early reader (knows all her letters, and a couple of simple words) and interested in counting (she just turned 3) and the way she's into everything~~
Early reading isn't better or more desirable than late reading. Pushing kids to do certain things over others, might keep them from activities which are actually more important for their life journey. One can read when one is ready. Not before then. Try not to value reading above playing in the dirt, or computers or anything else they might want to do.
~~What can I legally do? ~~
Homeschooling is legal in every state. Register her as a homeschooler and walk away.
~~ until she is "old enough" to be in a class where she can be pulled out for more advanced work?~~
"Advanced" schoolwork is mostly twaddle. Living an interesting life is much more fun....and the learning just happens naturally. Think about it, when YOU are engaged in something, are you learning? When you get excited about something (like unschooling) how do you learn what you need? Should we all "school" you and make you take a test to prove you're learning about unschooling? ;) Tests and advanced work can really shut down the learning process. Joy and excitement lead to great things.
~~And if so, is there some kind of curriculum that is very flexible? A typical kindergarten curriculum she could probably complete in about 2 weeks or less, and why blow the money on stuff she already knows?~~
How about spending money on things she wants and likes? Spend money doing things together that you all enjoy! Spend money on your lives, forget curriculum. Why take someone else's prepackaged agenda and try to fit it?
~~I welcome all info and tips. I'll be honest and say upfront that I've never been a big fan of homeschooling - but she's just so different and so is her sister - I'm not really seeing any other options.~~
Unschooling is an amazing lifestyle for those that really understand natural learning, being present for their children (and themselves) and their unique unfolding. It's an opportunity to live as if school did not exist.
~~I stumbled upon unschooling while looking into hiring her a private tutor - then it occurred to me that why can't *I* be her tutor. I work part-time as a nurse, and working 3-11 shifts (mostly on the weekends) is pretty conducive to doing this I would think.~~
Sounds like it might be a great fit. Instead of being any kind of "tutor" be her friend, her parent her partner. Help her get the information she wants, rather than deciding what she "should" learn.
I highly recommend reading at Sandra's site: sandradodd.com and at Joyce's site: joyfullyrejoycing.com.
Welcome to the list!
Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com
Sounds similar to one of my children. He outgrew many of those traits without therapy and without a diagnosis. For a lot of these kids, they're on a hugely different developmental schedule and mainstream thinking is to pathologize everything.
~ She has a school label of autism, we are in the process of securing an official medical diagnosis, autism runs in my family....but she's seemed to adapt to it well and is highly functional and seems happy and bright.~
Happy and bright is good. School can take that away, especially from children/people who don't fit the square peg of school.
~~Public school is great right?~~
Public school is damaging to the spirit, damaging to curiosity and self-confidence and joy of learning.
~~I'm unconvinced she'll mainstream well. ~~
Mainstreaming is the opposite of what I want for my children. I want spirits that positively light the world on fire with their uniqueness.I want children who TRUST themselves more than some institution or "expert". I want children who feel free to BE themselves.
~~ But what is going to happen when it's her and 29 other kids?~~
More troubling,what could happen when she'd being formed into something she isn't? When she's told that the world as she's sees it is "wrong" or "less than"?
~~ I doubt they'll let her bring a laptop to kindergarten.~~
You just struck on something really important. Not the part about control and what they will allow, but the fact that the average home in today's world has more access to information than any previous generation could even imagine! If you have the internet, what would you need a school for??
~~The public school, while full of nice people, say they don't pull out for more advanced work until 1st grade. And they won't even consider a gifted program until 3rd grade.~~
"Gifted" can be just as damaging as any other label. Gifted programs can't help a child be more fully themselves. Freedom to explore the world in your own way and time is more enriching than any program any school can think up.
~~ And her sister is shaping up to be an early reader (knows all her letters, and a couple of simple words) and interested in counting (she just turned 3) and the way she's into everything~~
Early reading isn't better or more desirable than late reading. Pushing kids to do certain things over others, might keep them from activities which are actually more important for their life journey. One can read when one is ready. Not before then. Try not to value reading above playing in the dirt, or computers or anything else they might want to do.
~~What can I legally do? ~~
Homeschooling is legal in every state. Register her as a homeschooler and walk away.
~~ until she is "old enough" to be in a class where she can be pulled out for more advanced work?~~
"Advanced" schoolwork is mostly twaddle. Living an interesting life is much more fun....and the learning just happens naturally. Think about it, when YOU are engaged in something, are you learning? When you get excited about something (like unschooling) how do you learn what you need? Should we all "school" you and make you take a test to prove you're learning about unschooling? ;) Tests and advanced work can really shut down the learning process. Joy and excitement lead to great things.
~~And if so, is there some kind of curriculum that is very flexible? A typical kindergarten curriculum she could probably complete in about 2 weeks or less, and why blow the money on stuff she already knows?~~
How about spending money on things she wants and likes? Spend money doing things together that you all enjoy! Spend money on your lives, forget curriculum. Why take someone else's prepackaged agenda and try to fit it?
~~I welcome all info and tips. I'll be honest and say upfront that I've never been a big fan of homeschooling - but she's just so different and so is her sister - I'm not really seeing any other options.~~
Unschooling is an amazing lifestyle for those that really understand natural learning, being present for their children (and themselves) and their unique unfolding. It's an opportunity to live as if school did not exist.
~~I stumbled upon unschooling while looking into hiring her a private tutor - then it occurred to me that why can't *I* be her tutor. I work part-time as a nurse, and working 3-11 shifts (mostly on the weekends) is pretty conducive to doing this I would think.~~
Sounds like it might be a great fit. Instead of being any kind of "tutor" be her friend, her parent her partner. Help her get the information she wants, rather than deciding what she "should" learn.
I highly recommend reading at Sandra's site: sandradodd.com and at Joyce's site: joyfullyrejoycing.com.
Welcome to the list!
Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com
Rachel Lowder
Ren, thank you so very much. You've made me feel very welcome.
Rachel
Rachel
--- On Wed, 9/9/09, gruvystarchild <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
From: gruvystarchild <starsuncloud@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: legality of unschooling in VA
To: [email protected]
Date: Wednesday, September 9, 2009, 5:35 PM
~~ I have a 4 and a half year old girl and a 3 year old girl. My oldest went into early intervention at 17 months because she was NOT talking at all, no eye contact, didn't play with other kids, wouldn't initiate hugs, etc. She did well, entered spec ed preschool, did even better, blah blah blah......~~
Sounds similar to one of my children. He outgrew many of those traits without therapy and without a diagnosis. For a lot of these kids, they're on a hugely different developmental schedule and mainstream thinking is to pathologize everything.
~ She has a school label of autism, we are in the process of securing an official medical diagnosis, autism runs in my family....but she's seemed to adapt to it well and is highly functional and seems happy and bright.~
Happy and bright is good. School can take that away, especially from children/people who don't fit the square peg of school.
~~Public school is great right?~~
Public school is damaging to the spirit, damaging to curiosity and self-confidence and joy of learning.
~~I'm unconvinced she'll mainstream well. ~~
Mainstreaming is the opposite of what I want for my children. I want spirits that positively light the world on fire with their uniqueness.I want children who TRUST themselves more than some institution or "expert". I want children who feel free to BE themselves.
~~ But what is going to happen when it's her and 29 other kids?~~
More troubling,what could happen when she'd being formed into something she isn't? When she's told that the world as she's sees it is "wrong" or "less than"?
~~ I doubt they'll let her bring a laptop to kindergarten. ~~
You just struck on something really important. Not the part about control and what they will allow, but the fact that the average home in today's world has more access to information than any previous generation could even imagine! If you have the internet, what would you need a school for??
~~The public school, while full of nice people, say they don't pull out for more advanced work until 1st grade. And they won't even consider a gifted program until 3rd grade.~~
"Gifted" can be just as damaging as any other label. Gifted programs can't help a child be more fully themselves. Freedom to explore the world in your own way and time is more enriching than any program any school can think up.
~~ And her sister is shaping up to be an early reader (knows all her letters, and a couple of simple words) and interested in counting (she just turned 3) and the way she's into everything~~
Early reading isn't better or more desirable than late reading. Pushing kids to do certain things over others, might keep them from activities which are actually more important for their life journey. One can read when one is ready. Not before then. Try not to value reading above playing in the dirt, or computers or anything else they might want to do.
~~What can I legally do? ~~
Homeschooling is legal in every state. Register her as a homeschooler and walk away.
~~ until she is "old enough" to be in a class where she can be pulled out for more advanced work?~~
"Advanced" schoolwork is mostly twaddle. Living an interesting life is much more fun....and the learning just happens naturally. Think about it, when YOU are engaged in something, are you learning? When you get excited about something (like unschooling) how do you learn what you need? Should we all "school" you and make you take a test to prove you're learning about unschooling? ;) Tests and advanced work can really shut down the learning process. Joy and excitement lead to great things.
~~And if so, is there some kind of curriculum that is very flexible? A typical kindergarten curriculum she could probably complete in about 2 weeks or less, and why blow the money on stuff she already knows?~~
How about spending money on things she wants and likes? Spend money doing things together that you all enjoy! Spend money on your lives, forget curriculum. Why take someone else's prepackaged agenda and try to fit it?
~~I welcome all info and tips. I'll be honest and say upfront that I've never been a big fan of homeschooling - but she's just so different and so is her sister - I'm not really seeing any other options.~~
Unschooling is an amazing lifestyle for those that really understand natural learning, being present for their children (and themselves) and their unique unfolding. It's an opportunity to live as if school did not exist.
~~I stumbled upon unschooling while looking into hiring her a private tutor - then it occurred to me that why can't *I* be her tutor. I work part-time as a nurse, and working 3-11 shifts (mostly on the weekends) is pretty conducive to doing this I would think.~~
Sounds like it might be a great fit. Instead of being any kind of "tutor" be her friend, her parent her partner. Help her get the information she wants, rather than deciding what she "should" learn.
I highly recommend reading at Sandra's site: sandradodd.com and at Joyce's site: joyfullyrejoycing. com.
Welcome to the list!
Ren
radicalunschooling. blogspot. com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], "lowderra" <lowderra@...> wrote:
Sounds a lot like my dd at the same age. She's grown out of all those traits, although she still doesn't make eye contact as much as most people. Its not that uncommon, really.
Yup, that's the preschool gimmick. They're less structured and more fun than real school, but get kids and parents thinking that school is doable, is okay, and is the way to go. Then reality sets in. Its a transition for any child, but some kids transition better than others. If your dd doesn't transition easily, she's going to have a rough time.
Did you know that's really pretty normal kid behavior? Most parents, heck, most teachers don't know that. We're told that young children have short attention spans, when that's not necessarily true. Many kids can focus for really long periods of time, if they're allowed to. That's a wonderful trait, but its not one that schools support at all. Kids aren't Allowed to focus for more than 45 minutes at a time, and usually much less than that.
If she's lucky, the kindergarten teacher will gently tell her she has to stop talking, because that's not what the rest of the class is doing right now. If she's not lucky, the teacher will shame her for knowledge, tell her she's doing something she's not "supposed" to be doing, is doing it all wrong.
I doubt it, too. Allowing kids to develop skills in their own time and way isn't what school is about. Mo prefered to type or use stencils for years. Even now she'd mostly rather type than print. Its expecially common for 5&6 yos to have an aversion to writing - they instinctively know their hands and brains aren't ready, yet. School tells them their instincts are wrong, that they should do this thing over and over and that doing so will make them better at it. You know what? Kids who are allowed to honor those instincts develop better penmanship at about the same age as their schooled fellows. Its not the practice that does it, its the developmental process.
Or worse, she'll "dumb down" to fit in. Girls tend to be more likely to do that *and* school praises girls for being quiet and inoffensive. Even strong minded girls can learn to play dumb for the sake of fitting in. Ask around the stong minded women you know - you might be surprised at how many were "good girls" in school. I certainly was.
You'll want to check with local homeschool groups for specific laws and how they're applied, but homeschooling is legal in every state and unschooling is technically a kind of homeschool. Unschooling is also the Most flexible curriculum there is, one might say, although most radical unschoolers (like me) don't consider it an educational method at all, but a whole way of living.
Its a Great way to live! You get to look at your children as whole, wonderful people and help them find out what they love to do. It won't look like school. Some days it won't even look like reading or skip counting, it will look like playing on the swings and snuggling on the couch and coloring - and yet every moment of those things are full of learning. Children really are learning all the time, regardless of what they're doing! Unschoolers learn to look at the world via the child's perspective and see learning as fun and effortless and magical.
Keep your girl home and let her be herself, her whole self, unfettered by school.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
> I have a 4 and a half year old girl and a 3 year old girl. My oldest went into early intervention at 17 months because she was NOT talking at all, no eye contact, didn't play with other kids, wouldn't initiate hugs, etc.**************************
Sounds a lot like my dd at the same age. She's grown out of all those traits, although she still doesn't make eye contact as much as most people. Its not that uncommon, really.
> I'm unconvinced she'll mainstream well. She's doing fabulous now because it's unstructured with small class size and they work around her issues (distracts incredibly easily, latches onto one subject or interest and only wants to talk about/learn about that, etc). But what is going to happen when it's her and 29 other kids?***********************
Yup, that's the preschool gimmick. They're less structured and more fun than real school, but get kids and parents thinking that school is doable, is okay, and is the way to go. Then reality sets in. Its a transition for any child, but some kids transition better than others. If your dd doesn't transition easily, she's going to have a rough time.
>>latches onto one subject or interest and only wants to talk about/learn about that***********************
Did you know that's really pretty normal kid behavior? Most parents, heck, most teachers don't know that. We're told that young children have short attention spans, when that's not necessarily true. Many kids can focus for really long periods of time, if they're allowed to. That's a wonderful trait, but its not one that schools support at all. Kids aren't Allowed to focus for more than 45 minutes at a time, and usually much less than that.
>>If she's talking about onesies and tensies at age 4, what is a kindergarten teacher going to do with her?**********************
If she's lucky, the kindergarten teacher will gently tell her she has to stop talking, because that's not what the rest of the class is doing right now. If she's not lucky, the teacher will shame her for knowledge, tell her she's doing something she's not "supposed" to be doing, is doing it all wrong.
>>She can write, but not well, she'd rather type and use a mouse. I doubt they'll let her bring a laptop to kindergarten.***********************
I doubt it, too. Allowing kids to develop skills in their own time and way isn't what school is about. Mo prefered to type or use stencils for years. Even now she'd mostly rather type than print. Its expecially common for 5&6 yos to have an aversion to writing - they instinctively know their hands and brains aren't ready, yet. School tells them their instincts are wrong, that they should do this thing over and over and that doing so will make them better at it. You know what? Kids who are allowed to honor those instincts develop better penmanship at about the same age as their schooled fellows. Its not the practice that does it, its the developmental process.
>>By then I fear she'll be bitter and a hard-core class troublemaker just from boredom.*********************
Or worse, she'll "dumb down" to fit in. Girls tend to be more likely to do that *and* school praises girls for being quiet and inoffensive. Even strong minded girls can learn to play dumb for the sake of fitting in. Ask around the stong minded women you know - you might be surprised at how many were "good girls" in school. I certainly was.
> Would it be considered truancy to not enroll her in kindy - do I need to sign up with some kind of curriculum? And if so, is there some kind of curriculum that is very flexible?***********************
You'll want to check with local homeschool groups for specific laws and how they're applied, but homeschooling is legal in every state and unschooling is technically a kind of homeschool. Unschooling is also the Most flexible curriculum there is, one might say, although most radical unschoolers (like me) don't consider it an educational method at all, but a whole way of living.
Its a Great way to live! You get to look at your children as whole, wonderful people and help them find out what they love to do. It won't look like school. Some days it won't even look like reading or skip counting, it will look like playing on the swings and snuggling on the couch and coloring - and yet every moment of those things are full of learning. Children really are learning all the time, regardless of what they're doing! Unschoolers learn to look at the world via the child's perspective and see learning as fun and effortless and magical.
>>it occurred to me that why can't *I* be her tutorYou can be something even better! You can be her resource coordinator, her faciliator, her consultant, her partner and her friend. Really really. You don't have to worry about "staying a step ahead" so you can teach her, you just need to learn to take her seriously and help her find resources - like the internet, or libraries, or other people with special skills and knowledge. You don't need to "keep her on track" you can trust that she knows when she needs to go whole-hog and focus on what she's doing and when she needs to flit from one thing to another. Best of all, you don't ever have to worry that she'll come to hate learning, the way so many kids do in school, and even with traditional homeschooling. Unschooled kids get to enjoy learning all the time.
Keep your girl home and let her be herself, her whole self, unfettered by school.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
gruvystarchild
~~Ask around the stong minded women you know - you might be surprised at how many were "good girls" in school. I certainly was.~~
*raising my hand*...:)
Shocking, I know.
Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com
*raising my hand*...:)
Shocking, I know.
Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com
Jacque Valdez
Ok Ren you said everything I wanted to say but cant...I guess I am still mad
at how my son was treated but just the same we are loving beyond loving
unschooling and we have just begun its so nice to feel like I can love my
children and not have to put up with them because we only have a few hours a
day to see each other.....I want to thank all of you on here for all of your
awesome advise I read everything and feel so good about what we are
doing....
Jacque
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
at how my son was treated but just the same we are loving beyond loving
unschooling and we have just begun its so nice to feel like I can love my
children and not have to put up with them because we only have a few hours a
day to see each other.....I want to thank all of you on here for all of your
awesome advise I read everything and feel so good about what we are
doing....
Jacque
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Yep. That's why we started hsing, way back when. DS was bored to tears in K -- literally.
You might Google a site called Hoagies. They have info on GT kids, including hsing info.
And you might need to adjust your thinking about what is "work" and what is not. Solving puzzles, reading books about logic, etc. -- these are not work to my DS. His brain has fun with this kind of thing.
But a standard curric may not cut it. Unschooling is a great way to live with these kids but, whichever way you head, being aware of these different learning paths helps make sense of things.
A little bit anyway. :)
Nance
The public school, while full of nice people, say they don't pull out for more advanced work until 1st grade. And they won't even consider a gifted program until 3rd grade. By then I fear she'll be bitter and a hard-core class troublemaker just from boredom.
You might Google a site called Hoagies. They have info on GT kids, including hsing info.
And you might need to adjust your thinking about what is "work" and what is not. Solving puzzles, reading books about logic, etc. -- these are not work to my DS. His brain has fun with this kind of thing.
But a standard curric may not cut it. Unschooling is a great way to live with these kids but, whichever way you head, being aware of these different learning paths helps make sense of things.
A little bit anyway. :)
Nance
The public school, while full of nice people, say they don't pull out for more advanced work until 1st grade. And they won't even consider a gifted program until 3rd grade. By then I fear she'll be bitter and a hard-core class troublemaker just from boredom.
strawlis
--- In [email protected], "lowderra" <lowderra@...>
wrote:
As for the legal VA how-tos and I believe you may have been giving this
already on your RUN post but here it is again. The Organization VA
Homeschoolers <http://www.vahomeschoolers.org/> can walk you thru the
process of filing in the State. They also have an expansive list of
State and County groups listed that you may want to check out....so you
can ask area pacific questions and find out what your area offers in
local homeschooling or even better unschooling resources!!
Elisabeth mama to Liv(10) and Lex(newly9) currently in Williamsburg,VA
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wrote:
>directed me here. Possibly someone here can help me
> I posted this on another board and a lady named SandraDodd kindly
As for the legal VA how-tos and I believe you may have been giving this
already on your RUN post but here it is again. The Organization VA
Homeschoolers <http://www.vahomeschoolers.org/> can walk you thru the
process of filing in the State. They also have an expansive list of
State and County groups listed that you may want to check out....so you
can ask area pacific questions and find out what your area offers in
local homeschooling or even better unschooling resources!!
Elisabeth mama to Liv(10) and Lex(newly9) currently in Williamsburg,VA
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sistergoddesselli
Here's the link to a website and state wide support group that will give you answers on homeschooling in Virginia.
http://www.vahomeschoolers.org/
Basically, you are supposed to send a "Notice of Intent" to your school superintendent by August 15th each year. And, include a description of your curriculum. The website has examples both the NOI and curriculum descriptions, some of which are very un-school friendly. Remember...KISS - Keep It Simple Sweetie...they don't need to know all of your business, just enough to satisfy their minimum requirements!!
Then, each year, by August 1st, you are to send a report on your child's progress to the superintendent. You can use either a standardized test, which you can administer to your child in your home, or you can have someone with a college degree evaluate your child and write a letter describing their assessment and observations.
Its easy.
Just do it and don't look back.
I wish I had!! We started late and now my daughter is going back and forth about going to school. I wish we had never sent her 7 years ago!! My son loves un-schooling and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Love,
Elli
http://www.vahomeschoolers.org/
Basically, you are supposed to send a "Notice of Intent" to your school superintendent by August 15th each year. And, include a description of your curriculum. The website has examples both the NOI and curriculum descriptions, some of which are very un-school friendly. Remember...KISS - Keep It Simple Sweetie...they don't need to know all of your business, just enough to satisfy their minimum requirements!!
Then, each year, by August 1st, you are to send a report on your child's progress to the superintendent. You can use either a standardized test, which you can administer to your child in your home, or you can have someone with a college degree evaluate your child and write a letter describing their assessment and observations.
Its easy.
Just do it and don't look back.
I wish I had!! We started late and now my daughter is going back and forth about going to school. I wish we had never sent her 7 years ago!! My son loves un-schooling and wouldn't trade it for the world.
Love,
Elli