Honoring other people's video game limits
Colleen
I'm wondering what suggestions any of you might have for honoring other people's video game limits when visiting family. We're staying at my mom's house for a few days and my sister and her family are living here at the moment. She has a six-year-old son, Carson, that idolizes my 13-year-old and wants to do everything he does--especially video games. Since my son introduced Carson to Spore, Carson wants to play all the time, but my sister doesn't want him playing video games for hours on end. So now we're staying in the same house for a few days and I'm not sure about the best way to be sure everyone's needs are met (granted, we're talking more about my sister's needs than her son's here). She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner. I allow my son to play as he pleases and it's one of the things that saves him from boredom when we're away from home. I hate to tell Jerry (my son) that he can't play. That doesn't seem fair to him. But then it's not fair to my sister to make her life more difficult by introducing her son to things she'd rather he didn't play, or by allowing Jerry to play when Carson can't. That seems like torture for poor Carson. Unfortunately Jerry doesn't have any friends in the area (anyone in Sacramento!?) so we do tend to spend most of our time hanging around the house--which means Jerry will be on his DS or playing computer games or the Wii for much of that time. I'm not really sure how to meet Jerry's needs while respecting my sisters rules for her family. Any ideas?
Colleen
Colleen
Simon
I have had very similar situation with my sister.
Try to speak candidly with your sister before the stay. It is hard for my sister and I as she doesn't get "what asperger's syndrome is". My sister's son is the same age as mine and her son is athletic and my son has always been clumsy so their interests are usually very different.
In your case the age gap could be an appropriate way to handle the situation as you don't want the 13 year old resenting the 6 year old during the stay.
Of course many games on the Wii are very interactive and she may see how it can be both mentally and physically challenging- as a family we play bowling, tennis, etc....
Elizabeth
Try to speak candidly with your sister before the stay. It is hard for my sister and I as she doesn't get "what asperger's syndrome is". My sister's son is the same age as mine and her son is athletic and my son has always been clumsy so their interests are usually very different.
In your case the age gap could be an appropriate way to handle the situation as you don't want the 13 year old resenting the 6 year old during the stay.
Of course many games on the Wii are very interactive and she may see how it can be both mentally and physically challenging- as a family we play bowling, tennis, etc....
Elizabeth
----- Original Message -----
From: Colleen
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 16, 2009 1:35 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Honoring other people's video game limits
I'm wondering what suggestions any of you might have for honoring other people's video game limits when visiting family. We're staying at my mom's house for a few days and my sister and her family are living here at the moment. She has a six-year-old son, Carson, that idolizes my 13-year-old and wants to do everything he does--especially video games. Since my son introduced Carson to Spore, Carson wants to play all the time, but my sister doesn't want him playing video games for hours on end. So now we're staying in the same house for a few days and I'm not sure about the best way to be sure everyone's needs are met (granted, we're talking more about my sister's needs than her son's here). She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner. I allow my son to play as he pleases and it's one of the things that saves him from boredom when we're away from home. I hate to tell Jerry (my son) that he can't play. That doesn't seem fair to him. But then it's not fair to my sister to make her life more difficult by introducing her son to things she'd rather he didn't play, or by allowing Jerry to play when Carson can't. That seems like torture for poor Carson. Unfortunately Jerry doesn't have any friends in the area (anyone in Sacramento!?) so we do tend to spend most of our time hanging around the house--which means Jerry will be on his DS or playing computer games or the Wii for much of that time. I'm not really sure how to meet Jerry's needs while respecting my sisters rules for her family. Any ideas?
Colleen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "Colleen" <cpaeff@...> wrote:
Is there a room your family is using that can be closed off, so your son can play his games in private? Even just the DS games? That would be a compromise.
Are there other things Jerry wants to do besides hang around the house? It seems like a dull visit for a kid, unless all he really wants to do is play video games anyway (in which case taking away his games will make it an even worse visit). Get out and do more - do some sightseeing or something fun for your kid.
Can you afford to stay somewhere else?
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
>Jerry doesn't have any friends in the area (anyone in Sacramento!?) so we do tend to spend most of our time hanging around the house--which means Jerry will be on his DS or playing computer games or the Wii for much of that time. I'm not really sure how to meet Jerry's needs while respecting my sisters rules for her family. Any ideas?***********************
Is there a room your family is using that can be closed off, so your son can play his games in private? Even just the DS games? That would be a compromise.
Are there other things Jerry wants to do besides hang around the house? It seems like a dull visit for a kid, unless all he really wants to do is play video games anyway (in which case taking away his games will make it an even worse visit). Get out and do more - do some sightseeing or something fun for your kid.
Can you afford to stay somewhere else?
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
Colleen
Thanks Meredith and Elizabeth. Today we went out to a cafe with free wireless internet for a couple hours and that turned out to be good. Unfortunately, since my sister and her family are living here, there isn't an inch of private space in the house. And my brother and his family are visiting as well! We can't afford to stay in a hotel, and while I love the idea of getting out and seeing the sites, my son prefers staying home (or in a home, anyway).
I think keeping in mind the fact that I don't want my son to resent his cousin is important. And I can talk to my sister about that. Now that she's living here we definitely need to come up with a plan that we all agree upon for dealing with video game time while we're visiting. And Jerry could probably claim a room with a door for a couple hours a day, at the very least (though I don't think privacy would be guaranteed).
Thanks guys.
Colleen
I think keeping in mind the fact that I don't want my son to resent his cousin is important. And I can talk to my sister about that. Now that she's living here we definitely need to come up with a plan that we all agree upon for dealing with video game time while we're visiting. And Jerry could probably claim a room with a door for a couple hours a day, at the very least (though I don't think privacy would be guaranteed).
Thanks guys.
Colleen
--- In [email protected], "Meredith" <meredith@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], "Colleen" <cpaeff@> wrote:
> >Jerry doesn't have any friends in the area (anyone in Sacramento!?) so we do tend to spend most of our time hanging around the house--which means Jerry will be on his DS or playing computer games or the Wii for much of that time. I'm not really sure how to meet Jerry's needs while respecting my sisters rules for her family. Any ideas?
> ***********************
>
> Is there a room your family is using that can be closed off, so your son can play his games in private? Even just the DS games? That would be a compromise.
>
> Are there other things Jerry wants to do besides hang around the house? It seems like a dull visit for a kid, unless all he really wants to do is play video games anyway (in which case taking away his games will make it an even worse visit). Get out and do more - do some sightseeing or something fun for your kid.
>
> Can you afford to stay somewhere else?
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
>
Faith Void
Have you discussed your concerns with your son? He may have some
creative solutions of his own that he is entirely comfortable with.
Perhaps discussing this with your sister and asking her for more
liberal video gaming so that the cousins can bond. Games help bridge
the age gap.
Also it seems like you are putting your sisters desire to control her
sons video gaming take priority over your sons desire for video gaming.
Faith
Sent from my iPhone
creative solutions of his own that he is entirely comfortable with.
Perhaps discussing this with your sister and asking her for more
liberal video gaming so that the cousins can bond. Games help bridge
the age gap.
Also it seems like you are putting your sisters desire to control her
sons video gaming take priority over your sons desire for video gaming.
Faith
Sent from my iPhone
On Aug 16, 2009, at 2:35 PM, "Colleen" <cpaeff@...> wrote:
> I'm wondering what suggestions any of you might have for honoring
> other people's video game limits when visiting family. We're staying
> at my mom's house for a few days and my sister and her family are
> living here at the moment. She has a six-year-old son, Carson, that
> idolizes my 13-year-old and wants to do everything he does--
> especially video games. Since my son introduced Carson to Spore,
> Carson wants to play all the time, but my sister doesn't want him
> playing video games for hours on end. So now we're staying in the
> same house for a few days and I'm not sure about the best way to be
> sure everyone's needs are met (granted, we're talking more about my
> sister's needs than her son's here). She doesn't usually allow video
> games from 10-4 and after dinner. I allow my son to play as he
> pleases and it's one of the things that saves him from boredom when
> we're away from home. I hate to tell Jerry (my son) that he can't
> play. That doesn't seem fair to him. But then it's not fair to my
> sister to make her life more difficult by introducing her son to
> things she'd rather he didn't play, or by allowing Jerry to play
> when Carson can't. That seems like torture for poor Carson.
> Unfortunately Jerry doesn't have any friends in the area (anyone in
> Sacramento!?) so we do tend to spend most of our time hanging around
> the house--which means Jerry will be on his DS or playing computer
> games or the Wii for much of that time. I'm not really sure how to
> meet Jerry's needs while respecting my sisters rules for her family.
> Any ideas?
>
> Colleen
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
How long are you going to be there? I'd suggest finding things to do in Sacramento from 10 until 4, or that time roughly. Go to the zoo, go to the Crocker Art Museum, go wander around town and have lunch somewhere interesting and appealling. Go to Sutter's Fort. Maybe there is somewhere that you could go pan for gold. I did that on a trip to Alaska and got a very small vial of of gold flakes that I expect where planted in my pan, but it was still fun. http://www.goldfeverprospecting.com/cagocoexprfo.html%c2%a0has information about doing a gold rush tour. Go see a movie, go find a card shop and get some cool pokemon cards. Go to Raging Waters waterpark and go swimming. Find things that Jerry likes to do, get him involved in the planning, and go and do. And be absolutely honest about why it would be easier on your host if y'all found other things to do than hang out and play video games at theirs.
Make it not about staying in their house and abiding by their rules. Go exploring and find the coolest things you can about Sacramento. Avoid the discussion entirely. And, since Jerry has a ds, you could just go to the park with a blanket and a picnic lunch and he could opt out of house rules by playing on the ds outside of the house.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: Colleen <cpaeff@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 16 August, 2009 7:35:04 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Honoring other people's video game limits
I'm wondering what suggestions any of you might have for honoring other people's video game limits when visiting family. We're staying at my mom's house for a few days and my sister and her family are living here at the moment. She has a six-year-old son, Carson, that idolizes my 13-year-old and wants to do everything he does--especially video games. Since my son introduced Carson to Spore, Carson wants to play all the time, but my sister doesn't want him playing video games for hours on end. So now we're staying in the same house for a few days and I'm not sure about the best way to be sure everyone's needs are met (granted, we're talking more about my sister's needs than her son's here). She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner. I allow my son to play as he pleases and it's one of the things that saves him from boredom when we're away from home. I hate to tell Jerry (my son) that he can't play. That doesn't seem fair to him. But
then it's not fair to my sister to make her life more difficult by introducing her son to things she'd rather he didn't play, or by allowing Jerry to play when Carson can't. That seems like torture for poor Carson. Unfortunately Jerry doesn't have any friends in the area (anyone in Sacramento!?) so we do tend to spend most of our time hanging around the house--which means Jerry will be on his DS or playing computer games or the Wii for much of that time. I'm not really sure how to meet Jerry's needs while respecting my sisters rules for her family. Any ideas?
Colleen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Make it not about staying in their house and abiding by their rules. Go exploring and find the coolest things you can about Sacramento. Avoid the discussion entirely. And, since Jerry has a ds, you could just go to the park with a blanket and a picnic lunch and he could opt out of house rules by playing on the ds outside of the house.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: Colleen <cpaeff@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 16 August, 2009 7:35:04 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Honoring other people's video game limits
I'm wondering what suggestions any of you might have for honoring other people's video game limits when visiting family. We're staying at my mom's house for a few days and my sister and her family are living here at the moment. She has a six-year-old son, Carson, that idolizes my 13-year-old and wants to do everything he does--especially video games. Since my son introduced Carson to Spore, Carson wants to play all the time, but my sister doesn't want him playing video games for hours on end. So now we're staying in the same house for a few days and I'm not sure about the best way to be sure everyone's needs are met (granted, we're talking more about my sister's needs than her son's here). She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner. I allow my son to play as he pleases and it's one of the things that saves him from boredom when we're away from home. I hate to tell Jerry (my son) that he can't play. That doesn't seem fair to him. But
then it's not fair to my sister to make her life more difficult by introducing her son to things she'd rather he didn't play, or by allowing Jerry to play when Carson can't. That seems like torture for poor Carson. Unfortunately Jerry doesn't have any friends in the area (anyone in Sacramento!?) so we do tend to spend most of our time hanging around the house--which means Jerry will be on his DS or playing computer games or the Wii for much of that time. I'm not really sure how to meet Jerry's needs while respecting my sisters rules for her family. Any ideas?
Colleen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner.
************
So first thing in the morning and 4-6? 4-7? Dang! That would never fly here. :)
Your DS may want to stay home alone while the rest of you go off on an outing while you are there. One way for him to have some privacy and expand on the extremely restricted play hours.
Nance
************
So first thing in the morning and 4-6? 4-7? Dang! That would never fly here. :)
Your DS may want to stay home alone while the rest of you go off on an outing while you are there. One way for him to have some privacy and expand on the extremely restricted play hours.
Nance
Jacquie Krauskopf
What does your son think of his Aunt? Is he willing to make sacrifices for the aunt?
Did your sister say anything to you about it?
Can your son just tell his kid cousin that he is "doing research for something he is studying, and that it is really no fun at all?
Just some ideas.
Jacquie
________________________________
From: "marbleface@..." <marbleface@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, August 17, 2009 8:33:19 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Honoring other people's video game limits
She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner.
************
So first thing in the morning and 4-6? 4-7? Dang! That would never fly here. :)
Your DS may want to stay home alone while the rest of you go off on an outing while you are there. One way for him to have some privacy and expand on the extremely restricted play hours.
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Did your sister say anything to you about it?
Can your son just tell his kid cousin that he is "doing research for something he is studying, and that it is really no fun at all?
Just some ideas.
Jacquie
________________________________
From: "marbleface@..." <marbleface@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, August 17, 2009 8:33:19 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Honoring other people's video game limits
She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner.
************
So first thing in the morning and 4-6? 4-7? Dang! That would never fly here. :)
Your DS may want to stay home alone while the rest of you go off on an outing while you are there. One way for him to have some privacy and expand on the extremely restricted play hours.
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Colleen
Oh, that's a great idea! I never thought about taking my nephew out and letting my son stay home so he could play.
Thanks!
Thanks!
--- In [email protected], "marbleface@..." <marbleface@...> wrote:
>
> She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner.
>
> ************
>
> So first thing in the morning and 4-6? 4-7? Dang! That would never fly here. :)
>
> Your DS may want to stay home alone while the rest of you go off on an outing while you are there. One way for him to have some privacy and expand on the extremely restricted play hours.
>
> Nance
>
Colleen
Hi Schuyler!
Those are great suggestions. And it puts a much more positive spin on things.
We're leaving today so it's only a short visit (we've all been camping for the past week). We were planning on staying until tomorrow but I asked a friend in San Francisco if we could stay the night tonight so we're going down there later this afternoon. It's good to have a plan for next time we visit though. I was feeling kind of down yesterday thinking that maybe we won't visit much while my sister is here (and I love my sister and really want to visit with her!) because it seemed too hard.
Thanks!
Colleen
Those are great suggestions. And it puts a much more positive spin on things.
We're leaving today so it's only a short visit (we've all been camping for the past week). We were planning on staying until tomorrow but I asked a friend in San Francisco if we could stay the night tonight so we're going down there later this afternoon. It's good to have a plan for next time we visit though. I was feeling kind of down yesterday thinking that maybe we won't visit much while my sister is here (and I love my sister and really want to visit with her!) because it seemed too hard.
Thanks!
Colleen
--- In [email protected], Schuyler <s.waynforth@...> wrote:
>
> How long are you going to be there? I'd suggest finding things to do in Sacramento from 10 until 4, or that time roughly. Go to the zoo, go to the Crocker Art Museum, go wander around town and have lunch somewhere interesting and appealling. Go to Sutter's Fort. Maybe there is somewhere that you could go pan for gold. I did that on a trip to Alaska and got a very small vial of of gold flakes that I expect where planted in my pan, but it was still fun. http://www.goldfeverprospecting.com/cagocoexprfo.html%c2%a0has information about doing a gold rush tour. Go see a movie, go find a card shop and get some cool pokemon cards. Go to Raging Waters waterpark and go swimming. Find things that Jerry likes to do, get him involved in the planning, and go and do. And be absolutely honest about why it would be easier on your host if y'all found other things to do than hang out and play video games at theirs.
>
> Make it not about staying in their house and abiding by their rules. Go exploring and find the coolest things you can about Sacramento. Avoid the discussion entirely. And, since Jerry has a ds, you could just go to the park with a blanket and a picnic lunch and he could opt out of house rules by playing on the ds outside of the house.
>
> Schuyler
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Colleen <cpaeff@...>
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Sunday, 16 August, 2009 7:35:04 PM
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Honoring other people's video game limits
>
> I'm wondering what suggestions any of you might have for honoring other people's video game limits when visiting family. We're staying at my mom's house for a few days and my sister and her family are living here at the moment. She has a six-year-old son, Carson, that idolizes my 13-year-old and wants to do everything he does--especially video games. Since my son introduced Carson to Spore, Carson wants to play all the time, but my sister doesn't want him playing video games for hours on end. So now we're staying in the same house for a few days and I'm not sure about the best way to be sure everyone's needs are met (granted, we're talking more about my sister's needs than her son's here). She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner. I allow my son to play as he pleases and it's one of the things that saves him from boredom when we're away from home. I hate to tell Jerry (my son) that he can't play. That doesn't seem fair to him. But
> then it's not fair to my sister to make her life more difficult by introducing her son to things she'd rather he didn't play, or by allowing Jerry to play when Carson can't. That seems like torture for poor Carson. Unfortunately Jerry doesn't have any friends in the area (anyone in Sacramento!?) so we do tend to spend most of our time hanging around the house--which means Jerry will be on his DS or playing computer games or the Wii for much of that time. I'm not really sure how to meet Jerry's needs while respecting my sisters rules for her family. Any ideas?
>
> Colleen
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Colleen
Ha! I'm afraid the genie is already out of the bottle, Jacquie. Carson knows they're fun! :)
My sister said that she needs for something to change because she's feeling like Carson (he son) is getting introduced to things before she has a chance to decide if she really wants him to be playing them. And even if he isn't playing he likes to watch Jerry play and she feels like he gets grouchy when he does that (and when he's playing, too). She's feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment with a brand new baby and a very high maintenance three-year-old in addition to having to stay at my mom's until she and her husband get back on their feet (they recently moved back to the States from Ireland) and she's worried because she isn't able to check and see what Carson's playing.
Jerry loves his aunt and kind of understands where she's coming from--not enough to forgo video games all day though! And I wouldn't want to ask him to do that.
However, it seems like I won't have to thanks to all these wonderful suggestions I'm getting!
Thanks!
My sister said that she needs for something to change because she's feeling like Carson (he son) is getting introduced to things before she has a chance to decide if she really wants him to be playing them. And even if he isn't playing he likes to watch Jerry play and she feels like he gets grouchy when he does that (and when he's playing, too). She's feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment with a brand new baby and a very high maintenance three-year-old in addition to having to stay at my mom's until she and her husband get back on their feet (they recently moved back to the States from Ireland) and she's worried because she isn't able to check and see what Carson's playing.
Jerry loves his aunt and kind of understands where she's coming from--not enough to forgo video games all day though! And I wouldn't want to ask him to do that.
However, it seems like I won't have to thanks to all these wonderful suggestions I'm getting!
Thanks!
--- In [email protected], Jacquie Krauskopf <home_maker97@...> wrote:
>
> What does your son think of his Aunt? Is he willing to make sacrifices for the aunt?
> Did your sister say anything to you about it?
> Can your son just tell his kid cousin that he is "doing research for something he is studying, and that it is really no fun at all?
> Just some ideas.
>
> Jacquie
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: "marbleface@..." <marbleface@...>
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Monday, August 17, 2009 8:33:19 AM
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Honoring other people's video game limits
>
>
> She doesn't usually allow video games from 10-4 and after dinner.
>
> ************
>
> So first thing in the morning and 4-6? 4-7? Dang! That would never fly here. :)
>
> Your DS may want to stay home alone while the rest of you go off on an outing while you are there. One way for him to have some privacy and expand on the extremely restricted play hours.
>
> Nance
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Jenna Robertson
Possible options for future visits:
You might look into couchsurfing.com where you sign up and can stay w/ people in the area for free. There are people on couchsurfing who take families and who have guest rooms w/ private baths, and some times even a guest house!! so it's not like you would have to sleep on a stranger's couch in their living room.
We just used mindmyhouse.com to find house sitters while we visited my parents. You can sign up to be a house sitter and have a free place to stay while providing someone with the peace of mind that their house isn't sitting empty while they are away. The challenge w/ this option is finding a place where you want it and for the dates you want, but it's worth a look.
Both sites are international - great ways to see the world and meet interesting people.
:)
Jenna
"If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I would ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life."
- Rachel Carson
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You might look into couchsurfing.com where you sign up and can stay w/ people in the area for free. There are people on couchsurfing who take families and who have guest rooms w/ private baths, and some times even a guest house!! so it's not like you would have to sleep on a stranger's couch in their living room.
We just used mindmyhouse.com to find house sitters while we visited my parents. You can sign up to be a house sitter and have a free place to stay while providing someone with the peace of mind that their house isn't sitting empty while they are away. The challenge w/ this option is finding a place where you want it and for the dates you want, but it's worth a look.
Both sites are international - great ways to see the world and meet interesting people.
:)
Jenna
"If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I would ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life."
- Rachel Carson
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], Jenna Robertson <mamamole@...> wrote:
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
> You might look into couchsurfing.com where you sign up and can stay w/ people in the area for free.Heck, stay with Unschoolers! Join an area list and find out what's going on locally, and if anyone can put you up, besides. I think there's even a yahoo group to help travelling unschoolers find places to stay... anyone have the link to that?
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
[email protected]
My sister said that she needs for something to change because she's feeling like Carson (he son) is getting introduced to things before she has a chance to decide if she really wants him to be playing them.
************
She's funny! Parent funny, anyway. "Darn kids! Learning things before I am ready to teach them!" :) Maybe she can start to relax a bit now that she has two little ones to worry about.
Nance
************
She's funny! Parent funny, anyway. "Darn kids! Learning things before I am ready to teach them!" :) Maybe she can start to relax a bit now that she has two little ones to worry about.
Nance
oceana
HI there I'm new. My name is Jane and I have one daughter is
school 5th grade and one daughter who is Homeschool/unschooling this
year it is our first year to do this so we are feeling our way thru all
of this.
I wanted to respond to this post because on the one hand I agree with
this statement about kids learning this before their parents are ready
but I have a but and I think that it is a rather big but.
I limit tv watching in my house A LOT. and not only that I limit the
kind of tv that is watched. My children get mad at me and others often
laugh at me but I don't let my children (10 and 9) watch pg-13 unless I
have watched it first. Now there are exceptions to this like when my
children go to their mamaw's (she's from tn) and when they were 3 and 4
and being aloud to watch power puff girls etc.
I feel like the violents being put out there for our children to absorb
is not healthy. If anyone knows the work of wayne dyer, you can do
muscle teaching write the words love and hate on 2 different pieces of
paper and muscle test someone else on these words. When I do this and
don't tell people what I am writing on the paper Love will always make
people stronger and Hate will always make people weaker. I haven't
tried the word violence but.......
Sorry I veried off subject for a moment.
I may not agree with a particular persons way that they are attempting
to protect their children but I don't think we really want to be making
fun of them for wanting to give their children the best. It may just be
different than is best than you. Not all answers and the right answer
for every person.
I personally can't afford for my children to play video games even if I
didn't think that they are not the best way for us to be involved in
the world.
Plus it is important to remember that you have a relationship with your sister to consider......
Good luck with everything!
school 5th grade and one daughter who is Homeschool/unschooling this
year it is our first year to do this so we are feeling our way thru all
of this.
I wanted to respond to this post because on the one hand I agree with
this statement about kids learning this before their parents are ready
but I have a but and I think that it is a rather big but.
I limit tv watching in my house A LOT. and not only that I limit the
kind of tv that is watched. My children get mad at me and others often
laugh at me but I don't let my children (10 and 9) watch pg-13 unless I
have watched it first. Now there are exceptions to this like when my
children go to their mamaw's (she's from tn) and when they were 3 and 4
and being aloud to watch power puff girls etc.
I feel like the violents being put out there for our children to absorb
is not healthy. If anyone knows the work of wayne dyer, you can do
muscle teaching write the words love and hate on 2 different pieces of
paper and muscle test someone else on these words. When I do this and
don't tell people what I am writing on the paper Love will always make
people stronger and Hate will always make people weaker. I haven't
tried the word violence but.......
Sorry I veried off subject for a moment.
I may not agree with a particular persons way that they are attempting
to protect their children but I don't think we really want to be making
fun of them for wanting to give their children the best. It may just be
different than is best than you. Not all answers and the right answer
for every person.
I personally can't afford for my children to play video games even if I
didn't think that they are not the best way for us to be involved in
the world.
Plus it is important to remember that you have a relationship with your sister to consider......
Good luck with everything!
--- On Tue, 8/18/09, marbleface@... <marbleface@...> wrote:
From: marbleface@... <marbleface@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Honoring other people's video game limits
To: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, August 18, 2009, 7:09 AM
My
sister said that she needs for something to change because she's
feeling like Carson (he son) is getting introduced to things before she
has a chance to decide if she really wants him to be playing them.
************
She's funny! Parent funny, anyway. "Darn kids! Learning things before I
am ready to teach them!" :) Maybe she can start to relax a bit now that
she has two little ones to worry about.
Nance
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
--- In [email protected], oceana <oceanamoon@...> wrote:
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/
My 8yo, for example, for years found interpersonal drama disturbing. She couldn't watch a great many of the movies and tv shows aimed at children for that reason. The sight of unhappy people, and worst of all parents shouting at children, horrified her. Other things didn't bother her. When she was younger I certainly did prewatch some things, but I did it with her specific needs in mind *and* I gave her the option to watch if she chose. Sometimes she wanted to watch anyway, and we'd talk about strategies. What would we do if things got scary? We'd make some plans and always include the possibility of shutting off whatever we were watching and doing/watching something else. Even if everyone else in the family wanted to watch that one thing.
Setting limits *for* kids generally leave them powerless over tv. They Want to watch it, to watch more, will watch things they don't like, that bug the heck out of them, just because they have an opportunity. That's the nature of limits. Its far better - far safer! to empower kids to express their real opinions and watch or turn the tv off, if that's what they'd rather do.
There are movies my almost 16yo won't watch because they creep him out. That's not the "norm" for a teenage male - he has the Liberty to say no to things Because he has the liberty to choose based on his own criteria. He's not feeling a need to watch things he's been denied "for his own good."
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
>Jane, since you're so new, you might want to do some reading, both in the archives of this list and at some of the great sites that exist. Two with Tons of great information are:
> HI there I'm new. My name is Jane and I have one daughter is
> school 5th grade and one daughter who is Homeschool/unschooling this
> year
http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/
> I limit tv watching in my house A LOT.Unschooling works best in an environment of trust and shared explorations. Limiting anything "a lot" tends to shut down two-way communication, which undermines both those things.
> I feel like the violents being put out there for our children to absorbWhen kids live in an environment rich in trust and two-way communication, they are able to tell parents what seems "violent" to them. Its not always exactly what parents expect.
> is not healthy.
My 8yo, for example, for years found interpersonal drama disturbing. She couldn't watch a great many of the movies and tv shows aimed at children for that reason. The sight of unhappy people, and worst of all parents shouting at children, horrified her. Other things didn't bother her. When she was younger I certainly did prewatch some things, but I did it with her specific needs in mind *and* I gave her the option to watch if she chose. Sometimes she wanted to watch anyway, and we'd talk about strategies. What would we do if things got scary? We'd make some plans and always include the possibility of shutting off whatever we were watching and doing/watching something else. Even if everyone else in the family wanted to watch that one thing.
Setting limits *for* kids generally leave them powerless over tv. They Want to watch it, to watch more, will watch things they don't like, that bug the heck out of them, just because they have an opportunity. That's the nature of limits. Its far better - far safer! to empower kids to express their real opinions and watch or turn the tv off, if that's what they'd rather do.
There are movies my almost 16yo won't watch because they creep him out. That's not the "norm" for a teenage male - he has the Liberty to say no to things Because he has the liberty to choose based on his own criteria. He's not feeling a need to watch things he's been denied "for his own good."
> I may not agree with a particular persons way that they are attemptingI don't think anyone is poking fun. Many of us have "been there" in the place of that other mom, trying to protect her kids and give them the best. Unschooling is, in some ways, a luxury. We have the luxury to spend so much more time with our children that we get to see and hear and know their worlds far far better than most parents. Knowing their worlds, we get to see things from our kids' perspectives, and in so doing we get to help our children work out ideas and strategies and solutions that work for Them. That changes the kinds of relationships that exist in unschooling families and makes setting limits unnecessary. We find the world has limits enough without adding to them.
> to protect their children but I don't think we really want to be making
> fun of them for wanting to give their children the best.
> I personally can't afford for my children to play video games even if II live on a very slim income, yet we have a PS2 that we picked up at a pawn shop and a number of games, almost all of which we've bought second hand. They're fun! and there are certainly things both kids have learned via playing video games: mythology, history, physics, reading, spelling, logic, problem solving, economics, characterization, plot development, resource management... you'd be surprised what kids can learn "just playing".
> didn't think that they are not the best way for us to be involved in
> the world.
---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
rikisgirl
Meredith I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this post.
Thank you
Jacque
Thank you
Jacque
--- In [email protected], "plaidpanties666" <meredith@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], oceana <oceanamoon@> wrote:
> >
> > HI there I'm new. My name is Jane and I have one daughter is
> > school 5th grade and one daughter who is Homeschool/unschooling this
> > year
>
> Jane, since you're so new, you might want to do some reading, both in the archives of this list and at some of the great sites that exist. Two with Tons of great information are:
>
> http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
> http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/
>
> > I limit tv watching in my house A LOT.
>
> Unschooling works best in an environment of trust and shared explorations. Limiting anything "a lot" tends to shut down two-way communication, which undermines both those things.
>
> > I feel like the violents being put out there for our children to absorb
> > is not healthy.
>
> When kids live in an environment rich in trust and two-way communication, they are able to tell parents what seems "violent" to them. Its not always exactly what parents expect.
>
> My 8yo, for example, for years found interpersonal drama disturbing. She couldn't watch a great many of the movies and tv shows aimed at children for that reason. The sight of unhappy people, and worst of all parents shouting at children, horrified her. Other things didn't bother her. When she was younger I certainly did prewatch some things, but I did it with her specific needs in mind *and* I gave her the option to watch if she chose. Sometimes she wanted to watch anyway, and we'd talk about strategies. What would we do if things got scary? We'd make some plans and always include the possibility of shutting off whatever we were watching and doing/watching something else. Even if everyone else in the family wanted to watch that one thing.
>
> Setting limits *for* kids generally leave them powerless over tv. They Want to watch it, to watch more, will watch things they don't like, that bug the heck out of them, just because they have an opportunity. That's the nature of limits. Its far better - far safer! to empower kids to express their real opinions and watch or turn the tv off, if that's what they'd rather do.
>
> There are movies my almost 16yo won't watch because they creep him out. That's not the "norm" for a teenage male - he has the Liberty to say no to things Because he has the liberty to choose based on his own criteria. He's not feeling a need to watch things he's been denied "for his own good."
>
> > I may not agree with a particular persons way that they are attempting
> > to protect their children but I don't think we really want to be making
> > fun of them for wanting to give their children the best.
>
> I don't think anyone is poking fun. Many of us have "been there" in the place of that other mom, trying to protect her kids and give them the best. Unschooling is, in some ways, a luxury. We have the luxury to spend so much more time with our children that we get to see and hear and know their worlds far far better than most parents. Knowing their worlds, we get to see things from our kids' perspectives, and in so doing we get to help our children work out ideas and strategies and solutions that work for Them. That changes the kinds of relationships that exist in unschooling families and makes setting limits unnecessary. We find the world has limits enough without adding to them.
>
> > I personally can't afford for my children to play video games even if I
> > didn't think that they are not the best way for us to be involved in
> > the world.
>
> I live on a very slim income, yet we have a PS2 that we picked up at a pawn shop and a number of games, almost all of which we've bought second hand. They're fun! and there are certainly things both kids have learned via playing video games: mythology, history, physics, reading, spelling, logic, problem solving, economics, characterization, plot development, resource management... you'd be surprised what kids can learn "just playing".
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)
>