Kathryn Robles

>>>Also, my daughter is very rough with my parents' little dog. She
sometimes tries to pick her up around the neck, hits her with her hands and
objects, etc. She likes the dog a lot, but for some reason she is also
violent with her. I feel like the only good way to protect the dog is to
keep them separated, although that means locking the dog up when we are in
the kitchen, which is where the dog has to stay during the day. Or again,
closely monitoring them when they play together.

I would love to hear other peoples suggestions on how to handle this as
well. My almost 2 year old is very rough with our dog and cats, picking
them up by the tail, smashing their heads into the floor, pulling ears,
poking et cetera. She thinks it is funny when they hiss or growl, or when I
snatch her away from it. I have very tolerant pets and only one of them has
bit her, so of course she doesn't bother that one cat.

And not to hyjack the thread, but how do you deal with physical
aggressiveness in general? My daughter gets very rough when she is tired,
to the extent that every night our family gets beat up in bed. She has
broken my DH's glasses, given me a bloody nose, split both our lips, knocked
the air out of me et cetera. She is never malicious about it, and thinks it
is hilarious the more frustrated we get, but in all honesty I find myself
getting INCREDIBLY upset to the point where I am not behaving toward her in
a manner I am at all comfortable with. For example, last night I was asleep
on the bed and she jumped over my husband and body slammed me and the baby.
I flew up shouting "ENOUGH" and meant to set her off the bed but ended up
misjudging the distance to the floor and smacking her legs into the ground.
Obviously not acceptable in any way shape or form. She started bawling,
the baby started bawling, and I started bawling.

I just don't even know how to respond to this type of situation. If I had
acted like this as a child I would have been spanked, and I don't want to do
that.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

laura white

One of my 2-yr old twins gets hyper violent too. She's also just started
punching or kicking when she's unhappy about something...usually when I try
to redirect her from something dangerous like leaning halfway out the window
or opening the hot oven. I have no idea how to handle it. I've been trying
to treat her like I would anyone else who was unintentionally hurting
me...like telling her calmly, "it hurts when you kick me" but that's just
incentive for her to do it more I tend to lose my patience and I ALWAYS
feel crappy after I do so. Plus, my other 2-yr old has better listening
skills and doesn't act out violently, so I sometimes wonder if my poor
little punchy baby feels singled out. I'd appreciate any ideas...any...on
how to handle this better.

Thanks everyone!
Laura
Wasilla, AK

On Wed, Aug 12, 2009 at 5:38 AM, Kathryn Robles <paigekitten@...>wrote:

>
>
> >>>Also, my daughter is very rough with my parents' little dog. She
> sometimes tries to pick her up around the neck, hits her with her hands and
> objects, etc. She likes the dog a lot, but for some reason she is also
> violent with her. I feel like the only good way to protect the dog is to
> keep them separated, although that means locking the dog up when we are in
> the kitchen, which is where the dog has to stay during the day. Or again,
> closely monitoring them when they play together.
>
> I would love to hear other peoples suggestions on how to handle this as
> well. My almost 2 year old is very rough with our dog and cats, picking
> them up by the tail, smashing their heads into the floor, pulling ears,
> poking et cetera. She thinks it is funny when they hiss or growl, or when I
> snatch her away from it. I have very tolerant pets and only one of them has
> bit her, so of course she doesn't bother that one cat.
>
> And not to hyjack the thread, but how do you deal with physical
> aggressiveness in general? My daughter gets very rough when she is tired,
> to the extent that every night our family gets beat up in bed. She has
> broken my DH's glasses, given me a bloody nose, split both our lips,
> knocked
> the air out of me et cetera. She is never malicious about it, and thinks it
> is hilarious the more frustrated we get, but in all honesty I find myself
> getting INCREDIBLY upset to the point where I am not behaving toward her in
> a manner I am at all comfortable with. For example, last night I was asleep
> on the bed and she jumped over my husband and body slammed me and the baby.
> I flew up shouting "ENOUGH" and meant to set her off the bed but ended up
> misjudging the distance to the floor and smacking her legs into the ground.
> Obviously not acceptable in any way shape or form. She started bawling,
> the baby started bawling, and I started bawling.
>
> I just don't even know how to respond to this type of situation. If I had
> acted like this as a child I would have been spanked, and I don't want to
> do
> that.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



--
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer
yourself in any direction you choose." - Dr. Seuss


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Kathryn Robles <paigekitten@...> wrote:
>> And not to hyjack the thread, but how do you deal with physical
> aggressiveness in general? My daughter gets very rough when she is tired,
> to the extent that every night our family gets beat up in bed.

It may be helpful to change your evening routine, so that she has a chance to "wind down" earlier. Alternately, she may need a chance to be really active and physical before sleep - my 7yo races around the house like a mad thing for about an hour every evening or finds some other energetic bit of fun. Another consideration is how long since she's eaten. Some kids need a bite before bed to stablize their blood sugar, while others need a snack a couple hours before, but Not imediately before bed.

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

Meredith

--- In [email protected], laura white <laurawhiteritchie@...> wrote:
>
> One of my 2-yr old twins gets hyper violent too. She's also just started
> punching or kicking when she's unhappy about something...usually when I try
> to redirect her from something dangerous like leaning halfway out the window
> or opening the hot oven. I have no idea how to handle it.

What do you mean by "redirect"? Can you give a specific example? That would help look for specific solutions.

For instance, Mo used to get very frustrated and angry by people trying to *tell* her things. If she was leaning out a window, for instance, I might catch her around the waist and support her for a moment and then move her somewhere else, but without talking. That being said, I used to baby-sit for a girl who was exactly the opposite - I couldn't touch her at all without telling her clearly in words, first what I was doing and why or she would scream and lash out.

In general, I've always found it helpful to look carefully at what *I'm* doing and look for things to change, and then experiment a little and see what works and what doesn't.

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

laura white

Thanks for the reply! Let's go with the window thing as an example. If she's
leaning out the window and I say "Genevieve, please come back inside. You
might fall."...she climbs further out. She does the same thing if I go to
her and gently put my hand on her back. All of those kinds of corrections
just instigate her further. By contrast, her twin sister will come back
inside. If I say "Hey Genevieve, come on over here and look at this cool
thing that I know she loves." She'll say "No, I'm looking out the window."
and any approach toward her very predictably makes her climb more. So, I've
taken to gently scooping her up and away from the window, telling her that
i'm afraid she will fall and giving her something else to play with (or even
a snack). This is when I know I'll get kicked or punched. It isn't painful
because she's little, but how can i help her find a better way to express
her frustration.

Let me add that this goes for most any situation in which we have to ask her
to do something different than what she has decided she wants to do. I
understand her frustration, so I try very hard not to ask this of her very
often. But sometimes, when its a matter of safety especially, I have to and
I so wish she could understand that. Its not that I don't want you to run
free, but I don't want you to run out in front of a car. Its not that I
don't want you to help me cook, but I don't want you to burn your fingers
when I can prevent it either. She's a very sweet, expressive, smart little
girl out-of-the-box thinker. She just wants to do things a certain way and
without any interference from me or her daddy or her sister. I want to let
her do that, but I also want to keep her safe and not get beat up in the
process.

BTW, I'm brand new to the ideals of an unschooling life and am working hard
to learn when to let go and when to step in.

Thanks again for all of your help!...Laura

On Wed, Aug 12, 2009 at 4:48 PM, Meredith <meredith@...> wrote:

>
>
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> laura white <laurawhiteritchie@...> wrote:
> >
> > One of my 2-yr old twins gets hyper violent too. She's also just started
> > punching or kicking when she's unhappy about something...usually when I
> try
> > to redirect her from something dangerous like leaning halfway out the
> window
> > or opening the hot oven. I have no idea how to handle it.
>
> What do you mean by "redirect"? Can you give a specific example? That would
> help look for specific solutions.
>
> For instance, Mo used to get very frustrated and angry by people trying to
> *tell* her things. If she was leaning out a window, for instance, I might
> catch her around the waist and support her for a moment and then move her
> somewhere else, but without talking. That being said, I used to baby-sit for
> a girl who was exactly the opposite - I couldn't touch her at all without
> telling her clearly in words, first what I was doing and why or she would
> scream and lash out.
>
> In general, I've always found it helpful to look carefully at what *I'm*
> doing and look for things to change, and then experiment a little and see
> what works and what doesn't.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>
>
>



--
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer
yourself in any direction you choose." - Dr. Seuss


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Why is there a window (or any similar situation) that is a danger? It's hard to child-proof the whole world but if this is an attractive nuisance, can it be dealt with before it becomes an issue?

Nance


If she's
leaning out the window and I say "Genevieve, please come back inside. You
might fall."...she climbs further out.

laura white

Absolutely I remove the danger. The window was just an example. It happened
2x in our new ranch style house, with different windows. There both screened
now. It was just an example of how I've handled similar situations and how
she responds.

On Thu, Aug 13, 2009 at 1:51 AM, marbleface@... <
marbleface@...> wrote:

>
>
> Why is there a window (or any similar situation) that is a danger? It's
> hard to child-proof the whole world but if this is an attractive nuisance,
> can it be dealt with before it becomes an issue?
>
> Nance
>
>
> If she's
> leaning out the window and I say "Genevieve, please come back inside. You
> might fall."...she climbs further out.
>
>
>



--
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer
yourself in any direction you choose." - Dr. Seuss


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

equinox_autumn

i stayed up late tonight just to look for some guidance somewhere with my 3 year old. amazingly it seems your genivive and my auggie have the same sorts of issues.

he is sweet and can be amazingly empathetic but OH. MY. GOD.

he pinches, punches, refuses to follow any request, command or suggestion even if he's bribed or begged! he started this around 18 months and got over it a few months ago and now he's right back to it only WORSE! he'll look me straight in the eye when i make a request, demand, etc. and continue to do the opposite of what i want!

my husband and i are completely out of solutions. i can not see what the source of his behavior would be. most say it's middle child syndrome or "boys will be boys".

when he's not doing this stuff (which for the past few weeks has been RARELY) he's sweet and funny and cuddly-every parent's dream!

i just don't know what we are doing to fail him.

so-also not to hijack-but i get where you are coming from (and i have for a LONG time) i know that for me i feel like people keep making suggestions and they are all great but i have tried them all already and over and over and over again.

i am beginning to wonder if i should take him to a psychiatrist.

-chrissy

laura white

Thanks Chrissy for the commiseration. :) I do know how you feel. We do have
good days, like today, where the twins are super sweet and playful. But even
on those days, she is completely, 100% only going to do things her way and
in her time. I think that stubborn streak is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL and it
will serve her well in life if she can teach herself to temper it a bit. It
isn't helpful when it means she's taking something she wants out of her
sisters hands (and making her sister cry) or breaking things that don't
belong to her or us (like the screen door of our rental house) or
endangering herself (like shoving an entire piece of bread in her mouth at
once just because i reminded her to take little bites) or pushing and
punching. I've done everything possible to mitigate these situations, to
create a world where they are less likely to occur (like still cutting up
her food, teaching them how to trade, etc) ...but it is impossible to do
this for every situation.

I don't think its about being a middle child personally. Genevieve is a
twin...and they are the youngest kiddos in the house...and her sister has a
completely different temperament. I don't want to take her anywhere where
she'll be labeled. But I have started trying techniques like those used by
parents and caregivers of kids with ADD and aspergers. Sometimes it helps
and sometimes it doesn't.

I feel bad for Genevieve because she spends so much time frustrated for no
reason. And I feel bad for her twin sister McKenna, she's such a
sweet-natured and easy going little girl and some days it seems she falls
into the shadows when we're trying to find something, anything that will
calm Genevieve down. Sometimes it's hard to maintain a balance and keep
your sanity. And some days are wonderful, happy, sweet, adorable and
unbelievably heartwarming.

Thanks again Chrissy!
Laura


On Thu, Aug 13, 2009 at 8:50 PM, equinox_autumn <EquinoxAutumn@...>wrote:

>
>
> i stayed up late tonight just to look for some guidance somewhere with my 3
> year old. amazingly it seems your genivive and my auggie have the same sorts
> of issues.
>
> he is sweet and can be amazingly empathetic but OH. MY. GOD.
>
> he pinches, punches, refuses to follow any request, command or suggestion
> even if he's bribed or begged! he started this around 18 months and got over
> it a few months ago and now he's right back to it only WORSE! he'll look me
> straight in the eye when i make a request, demand, etc. and continue to do
> the opposite of what i want!
>
> my husband and i are completely out of solutions. i can not see what the
> source of his behavior would be. most say it's middle child syndrome or
> "boys will be boys".
>
> when he's not doing this stuff (which for the past few weeks has been
> RARELY) he's sweet and funny and cuddly-every parent's dream!
>
> i just don't know what we are doing to fail him.
>
> so-also not to hijack-but i get where you are coming from (and i have for a
> LONG time) i know that for me i feel like people keep making suggestions and
> they are all great but i have tried them all already and over and over and
> over again.
>
> i am beginning to wonder if i should take him to a psychiatrist.
>
> -chrissy
>
>
>



--
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer
yourself in any direction you choose." - Dr. Seuss


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Exactly my point!

There's almost always something we can do to prevent this sort of problem from recurring. And from repeating the big emotional upheavals.

We learn too. :)

And, of course, what works so well with Kid #1 will totally fail with Kid #2. Sigh. . .

Nance


--- In [email protected], laura white <laurawhiteritchie@...> wrote:
>
> Absolutely I remove the danger. The window was just an example. It happened
> 2x in our new ranch style house, with different windows. There both screened
> now. It was just an example of how I've handled similar situations and how
> she responds.
>
> On Thu, Aug 13, 2009 at 1:51 AM, marbleface@... <
> marbleface@...> wrote:
>
> >
> >
> > Why is there a window (or any similar situation) that is a danger? It's
> > hard to child-proof the whole world but if this is an attractive nuisance,
> > can it be dealt with before it becomes an issue?
> >
> > Nance
> >
> >
> > If she's
> > leaning out the window and I say "Genevieve, please come back inside. You
> > might fall."...she climbs further out.

[email protected]

Let's see. I can't remember all the way back to when my two kids were 3, but we do watch the 3-yo nephew. Even though he didn't walk until he was 2 and is not talking a lot yet, he seems to be exactly what I would expect when it comes to behavior.

He's testing and exploring, he's trying to do things for himself, he's asserting himself, he's alternately sweet and cuddly and happy and over-the-top emotional and obstinate and uncooperative.

Sound familiar? :)

It is not easy being 3. (It is not easy being any age, really, something I try to remember as the kids go through each one. :) )

Everything is forbidden/delayed, all the fun stuff anyway. The pool -- you have to wait for someone to go with you. The car -- everyone gets to drive but you. The kitchen -- still blocked off. All this and you have very little, if any, concept of time.

Yes, we do change things to let him explore as much as possible but he's not going in the pool alone or in our tiny kitchen when something's cooking, etc. So there are frustrations in his day.

And just trying to do normal things can be frustrating. I marvel at his patience in building with blocks and other things. He can play with those big Legos for a long time, it seems to me, for 3. But then one doesn't fit on or something falls and you can end up with a flying Lego.

And we get tired and his Mom and Gramma get tired. The big kids are not always in the mood to do the same thing over and over again. The world is busy and he gets taken along to many things -- sometimes just for him but he's often just riding along -- I think it must be a blur sometimes even though we talk and explain.

Anyway, no shrink on call here. We're just living with a 3-yo. Trying to remember not to overreact when he's particularly difficult. I suspect your psychiatrist would tell you this all sounds pretty normal. :)

Nance




--- In [email protected], "equinox_autumn" <EquinoxAutumn@...> wrote:
>
> i stayed up late tonight just to look for some guidance somewhere with my 3 year old. amazingly it seems your genivive and my auggie have the same sorts of issues.
>
> he is sweet and can be amazingly empathetic but OH. MY. GOD.
>
> he pinches, punches, refuses to follow any request, command or suggestion even if he's bribed or begged! he started this around 18 months and got over it a few months ago and now he's right back to it only WORSE! he'll look me straight in the eye when i make a request, demand, etc. and continue to do the opposite of what i want!
>
> my husband and i are completely out of solutions. i can not see what the source of his behavior would be. most say it's middle child syndrome or "boys will be boys".
>
> when he's not doing this stuff (which for the past few weeks has been RARELY) he's sweet and funny and cuddly-every parent's dream!
>
> i just don't know what we are doing to fail him.
>
> so-also not to hijack-but i get where you are coming from (and i have for a LONG time) i know that for me i feel like people keep making suggestions and they are all great but i have tried them all already and over and over and over again.
>
> i am beginning to wonder if i should take him to a psychiatrist.
>
> -chrissy
>

Meredith

--- In [email protected], laura white <laurawhiteritchie@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks for the reply! Let's go with the window thing as an example. If she's
> leaning out the window and I say "Genevieve, please come back inside. You
> might fall."...she climbs further out. She does the same thing if I go to
> her and gently put my hand on her back. All of those kinds of corrections
> just instigate her further.

Rather than trying to stop her from doing what she wants, look for ways to make it safer right then and there. Putting your hand on her back doesn't make her safer, but you could hold her firmly so that she could lean out safely. Turn "no" into "yes".

>>Its not that I don't want you to run
> free, but I don't want you to run out in front of a car.

Is there a car coming right now? A child running in the street isn't in danger unless danger is present. There are other options than saying "no" - you can stand in the road and block traffic, you can actively look for a quieter side-street for running.

The trouble with saying "this scares me bc you Might get hurt" is that it undermines trust. Every moment she's successful without getting hurt she has proved you wrong, proved that you are not a trustworthy source of help or information. Your challenge is to rebuild that trust, by helping her do what she wants safely. Be her advocate, rather than her biggest obstacle.

>>Its not that I
> don't want you to help me cook, but I don't want you to burn your fingers
> when I can prevent it either.

Prevent how? Are you saying "don't do that..." or are you saying "hot! here's a hotpad/towel/corner of a shirt for your fingers". Sometimes the key is starting with something Other than no or stop. Start with a valuable piece of information, like Hot! or Sharp! or Car!

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)

Brandee Siracusa

my son is 2 1/2 and he also can get very aggressive.  I finally took him and had him evaluated and he is a sensory kid.  He has Sensory intergration Dysfunction.  He gets overstimulated and has meltdowns and hits, bites, pinches, kick, etc......... If he is not having a meltdown he is a sweetheart and hugging everyone and very loving and caring.  Just thought I'd bring it up because I was very upset wondering what I was doing wrong.  He is just developing differently.  Patience and not practicing bad habits is the key.  He also is on a sensory diet which helps a bunch. 
Brandee

--- On Thu, 8/13/09, equinox_autumn <EquinoxAutumn@...> wrote:

From: equinox_autumn <EquinoxAutumn@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] +Re:unschooling and toddlers
To: [email protected]
Date: Thursday, August 13, 2009, 11:50 PM






 





i stayed up late tonight just to look for some guidance somewhere with my 3 year old. amazingly it seems your genivive and my auggie have the same sorts of issues.



he is sweet and can be amazingly empathetic but OH. MY. GOD.



he pinches, punches, refuses to follow any request, command or suggestion even if he's bribed or begged! he started this around 18 months and got over it a few months ago and now he's right back to it only WORSE! he'll look me straight in the eye when i make a request, demand, etc. and continue to do the opposite of what i want!



my husband and i are completely out of solutions. i can not see what the source of his behavior would be. most say it's middle child syndrome or "boys will be boys".



when he's not doing this stuff (which for the past few weeks has been RARELY) he's sweet and funny and cuddly-every parent's dream!



i just don't know what we are doing to fail him.



so-also not to hijack-but i get where you are coming from (and i have for a LONG time) i know that for me i feel like people keep making suggestions and they are all great but i have tried them all already and over and over and over again.



i am beginning to wonder if i should take him to a psychiatrist.



-chrissy































[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], "equinox_autumn" <EquinoxAutumn@...> wrote:
>> he pinches, punches, refuses to follow any request, command or suggestion even if he's bribed or begged! he started this around 18 months and got over it a few months ago and now he's right back to it only WORSE! he'll look me straight in the eye when i make a request, demand, etc. and continue to do the opposite of what i want!
***************************

I would be helpful to have an example. In general, though, how often do you like to be commanded bribed or begged? Do you typically follow requests or suggestions when you can't see the point of them? Young children are stuck in a world that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, surrounded by people who seem to be arbitrary and unreasonable. It doesn't matter how reasonable *you* think you are being - its the perspective of the child that matters.

Generally speaking, its not a good strategy to try to get young children to see an adult pov. They can't! They've never been adults! But we adults have an ability they don't - we can try to envision others' perspectives. We can see where children are coming from. It takes effort and practice, but we can do this, and find ways to be reasonable and helpful From the Perspective Of the Child! But like I said, examples help in terms of seeing *how* this can happen.

Its important that young children feel capable, and that they feel like they have choices - even young children want to make some of their own decisions. So generally speaking, when younger children are lashing out, its good to look for ways to give them more options and help them feel capable. No and don't and "you do this now" leave children feeling powerless - its no wonder two and three yr olds have a reputation for being resisitant!

> i am beginning to wonder if i should take him to a psychiatrist.

It sounds like his behavior is very age-appropriate to me, although a therapist of any kind will likely tell you he "needs limits". From an unschooling perspective, he has too many limits. He needs help finding ways to overcome those limits. Less nos and don'ts and laters, more Yesses!

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)

Meredith

--- In [email protected], laura white <laurawhiteritchie@...> wrote:
>> endangering herself (like shoving an entire piece of bread in her mouth at
> once just because i reminded her to take little bites)

You seem to do a lot of reminding and explaining! That may well be a big big part of the problem! Can you bite your tongue a bit more? Take a big, deep breath and wait five seconds before you say Anything about safety for awhile and use those five seconds (they'll seem terribly long in the moment) to come up with at least one other solution than saying "no".

> I've done everything possible to mitigate these situations, to
> create a world where they are less likely to occur (like still cutting up
> her food, teaching them how to trade, etc) ...but it is impossible to do
> this for every situation.

It is impossible - that's why its sooooo important for you to become the trustworthy advocate. Create an environment where she Wants to listen to you.

If you're cutting her food and she doesn't want you to do that, then you undermine her sense of competence and she'll look to fill that some other way - like breaking something. Breaking things gives kids a chance to feel capable, powerful over the world. Ask if she wants things cut up, and if she doesn't, trust that she can figure out how to eat without choking. It might be graceless, but she'll feel better about herself for Doing for herself. If the idea utterly panics you, brush up on how to give a heimlich to a child.

Teaching a child to trade doesn't guarantee the child will want to engage in that kind of negotiation to get a toy (trading works well with babies, not so well with toddlers). If you are right there in the middle of the kids playing, can you see the toy-grab coming and head it off at the pass, somehow? Offer a snack? Suggest a new game or a new location? Can you be the one to do the trading? Distract the other child? Help the other child move on or wait for another turn, since she has the gentler personality?

> I feel bad for Genevieve because she spends so much time frustrated for no
> reason.

Its important that you learn to see her reasons. They exist! But they are the reasons of a young child, frustrated by being stuck in a body that's inconveniently small and inept when she wants to be the master of her universe. Help her be that master!

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Brandee Siracusa <branmaam865@...> wrote:
>
> my son is 2 1/2 and he also can get very aggressive.  I finally took him and had him evaluated and he is a sensory kid.  He has Sensory intergration Dysfunction.
***********************

Its useful to know that what's diagnosed as SID is often developmental, a kind of "asynchronous development". Asynchronous development (some things developing out of synch with others) is something you can learn a lot about by reading about giftedness, but its not limited to "gifted" kids - its just most noticable in kids who are "asynchronous" in the sense of being very "ahead" (or "behind") developmentally in some few areas.

Some kids have bigger needs than other - due to development or temperament, or just the way they happen to be wired. From an unschooling perspective it can be valuable to do some research in order to better understand those needs so that we can help our kids without necessarily trying to "fix" them.

"The Out of Sync Child" has some great lists of different kinds of games and activities - good idea fodder for any parent with an energetic kid, looking for more fun to offer.

>>He also is on a sensory diet which helps a bunch.

Its good to bring up food and other "environmental" issues. All sorts of things can throw kids out-of-whack, and it can be helpful to look for patterns over time to get an idea if food, dyes, household products or other factors could be involved. There are rarely "magic bullets" though. Most of the time diet (etc) are big triggers, but not the underlying "cause". A feisty 2yo (for example) isn't likely to turn into a mellow child simply by changing the laundry detergent ;)

Brandee, I didn't think you were saying that, I'm just trying to elaborate on what you *did* say, for the sake of additional clarity/information.

---Meredith (Mo 8, Ray 15)

paigekitten86

--- In [email protected], "Meredith" <meredith@...>
> It may be helpful to change your evening routine, so that she has a chance to "wind down" earlier. Alternately, she may need a chance to be really active and physical before sleep - my 7yo races around the house like a mad thing for about an hour every evening or finds some other energetic bit of fun. Another consideration is how long since she's eaten. Some kids need a bite before bed to stablize their blood sugar, while others need a snack a couple hours before, but Not imediately before bed.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)


Duh! Why didn't I think of that? We just altered our previous bedtime routine because she was fighting going to bed. We added a lot more calming, quiet activities, because she was getting out of bed and running around in the dark house and climbing in to the crate with the dog. We also started locking our bedroom door as she gets up and wanders and we don't always wake up with her. (She has lots of quiet things to do if she wants to go to sleep after us).

I bet all the night wandering was her way of expending all her energy before she is able to lay down at night, and now it's getting channeled into jumping all over mom and dad.

Whew. That's easy to fix, and here I was thinking there was no hope.