melissazietlow

I'm wondering if anyone might give me suggestions on what to say/how
to react when dd (5yo) talks about school, and expresses a desire to
go? Orion has been bringing up going away to "the big school" and
riding the school bus a lot recently. I seems to be related to
seeing shows or reading books, etc. where she sees kids going off to
the wonderful place...and she wants to know when she will go.

We have been responding by saying that some kids go away to school,
but some kids are homeschooled. We have said that we believe that
kids learn all the time, and don't have to go away to school to
learn. We have acknowledged why it seems she is interested, "you
think it would be fun to ride the school bus" or "you think that it
will be fun because you might get to play with the other kids". We
have casually explained that recess is only for a short time, and
that the rest of the time, she would have to sit very quietly in a
desk, and will not be allowed to talk much with the other kids. We
have said that we would miss her, and that she would be gone most of
the day, and not able to be with the family doing fun things like
________.

Tonight she said she wants "to sit at a desk and listen to the
teacher tell her to write in her book". I said I would be glad to do
that at home with her and she emphatically said "NO". I changed the
subject and told her that I have been thinking that it might be fun
for her to join a club called Girl Scouts...where she will meet with
other girls, and have a book to write in. She was excited and happy
about that and dropped the school talk.

How best to handle so she can feel right?

Melissa Z.

Naturally Organic

I'm wondering if anyone might give me suggestions on what to say/how
to react when dd (5yo) talks about school, and expresses a desire to
go? <<

Ah. My first did that when she was 5-6 yo. She wanted to go on the bus so badly, and "go to school". She watched for the bus to pass our house each day. Katie says I told her she wasn't old enough, and I"m pretty sure I told her that some kids just didn't go to school. She says she wanted to go to meet other little girls.

Sorry, that probably wasn't very helpful!

Tanya


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G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan

Melissa,
I am very interested to see the replies to your post as I am in a
similar situation. My son is just 4 so there is time for the reality of
going away to school to hit, but he insists he's going. I keep asking
myself: What am I going to do? In my opinion if I truly believe in
Unschooling and he continues to want to try it then I need to let him. I
need to respect his choices even if they are not what I had "planned". Now,
I'm not saying to be a good Unschooler you need to let her go to school, I'm
just talking about what ways heavily on my mind. Is your daughter required
to attend Kindergarten? In Vermont it is not mandatory to attend school
until first grade. If this is the case for you then you could put it off
for another year and see what comes of it. School is so played up on
television. If she were a little older I would let her chat with my
daughter who is in public school. She, at 11, can tell you some horror
stories. I know this probably didn't help much, but I guess I am in the
same boat you are and I am feeling for you.

AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: melissazietlow [mailto:Zietlowfamily@...]
Sent: Monday, June 07, 2004 11:36 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] What to Say?


I'm wondering if anyone might give me suggestions on what to say/how
to react when dd (5yo) talks about school, and expresses a desire to
go? Orion has been bringing up going away to "the big school" and
riding the school bus a lot recently. I seems to be related to
seeing shows or reading books, etc. where she sees kids going off to
the wonderful place...and she wants to know when she will go.

We have been responding by saying that some kids go away to school,
but some kids are homeschooled. We have said that we believe that
kids learn all the time, and don't have to go away to school to
learn. We have acknowledged why it seems she is interested, "you
think it would be fun to ride the school bus" or "you think that it
will be fun because you might get to play with the other kids". We
have casually explained that recess is only for a short time, and
that the rest of the time, she would have to sit very quietly in a
desk, and will not be allowed to talk much with the other kids. We
have said that we would miss her, and that she would be gone most of
the day, and not able to be with the family doing fun things like
________.

Tonight she said she wants "to sit at a desk and listen to the
teacher tell her to write in her book". I said I would be glad to do
that at home with her and she emphatically said "NO". I changed the
subject and told her that I have been thinking that it might be fun
for her to join a club called Girl Scouts...where she will meet with
other girls, and have a book to write in. She was excited and happy
about that and dropped the school talk.

How best to handle so she can feel right?

Melissa Z.




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[email protected]

My 6 yo told me the same thing last month. After a few days of talking about
it, I found out he wanted to go because he wanted to learn how to read!
ohhhhhh! Whats a mom to do! Maybe you could take a ride on a public bus? Or do
what I did and just ask WHY she wants to go.
Syndi
ps.....Which i'm still trying to figure out how to help him learn to read,
because he resist anything I try to teach!. Other then we read read read read
read every single day. I did explain to him that we can work on helping him,
and he stopped asking about school!


We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he
is someone today.
Stacia Tauscher


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

mom2wce

We had that problem when my son was 5 and he was adamant he wanted to go to school. I talked to him about his brother and how he had gone to school and we were not sending him back. I also told him it would be hard to see his friends who were not homeschooling because the schedules were so different. We talked about his still being prone to having accidents and how that might make him feel very uncomfortable in school. He was adamant.

I in my heart felt he really was not ready for school and the possible hurt to his self esteem was in my mind as my middle child is my most sensitive child and he is my most introverted child.

I did decide that for many reasons he just was not going to school. When he is older and if he wants to try it I will be fine with it. Now at 7 he has not desire to be there and has a much better idea of what he would miss if he was in school.

He got all the school stuff from everything around him and people always asking him if he was going to kindergarten? I have never regretted that I did make the choice for him because I could see so many things about him that would have made him very vulnerable in a classroom of 30 kids.

Take Care

Cathy in Reston


Homeschooling mom to 3 independent learners.

~~~The most important job I have~~~

http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/NovaUnschoolers/
http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/Reston-HerndonHomeschoolers/
http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/Fairfax-Annandale-Burkehomeschoolers/
http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/WoodbridgeSpringfieldhomeschoolGroup/
http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/MtVernon_AlexandriaHomeschoolers/
http://www.vhea.org/

mom2ckm

--- In [email protected], "melissazietlow"
<Zietlowfamily@w...> wrote:
> I'm wondering if anyone might give me suggestions on what to
say/how
> to react when dd (5yo) talks about school, and expresses a desire
to
> go? Orion has been bringing up going away to "the big school" and
> riding the school bus a lot recently.

Hi Melissa,

I think that kids who have never been to school are attracted to
the "mystery" of school. They see all the other kids with their
backpacks and new pencils sitting at little desks. They see
playground equipment and chalkboards... They wonder, "What's going
on there? What am I missing out on?"

My boys (ages 5 & 8) have watched the school bus stop across the
street from our house for soooo long. Then a couple of weeks ago we
went to a renaissance faire, and we got to ride a school bus from
the parking lot to the front gate of the faire. The boys were beside
themselves with excitement to FINALLY be getting on that big yellow
bus. After our five minute ride I asked them if it was as fun as
they thought it ws going to be. Their answer was a
disappointed "no."I think they were imagining it would be something
like "The Magic School Bus" <g>

My 8yo went through a brief period when he wanted to go to school.
So I told him what school was like. Yes, there are some fun parts,
but there are also parts he would really hate. I told him that the
cool part about unschooling is that you decide what your "school" is
like. If you're enjoying an activity you can do it all day long. If
you're not enjoying an activity you can walk away from it, or change
it to suit yourself. School doesn't give you that option.

After watching cartoons like "Arthur" on PBS or "Recess" on Disney
Channel he has seen how school causes conflicts and "interrupts" the
otherwise fun lives of the characters, so that turned him off on
school a bit. He also has a public schooled friend who fills him in
on all the horrible stuff like detention, and girls chasing you at
recess <g>.

Your daughter will probably bring up "the big school" a lot in the
coming months because well-meaning strangers will notice that she's
about the right age for Kindergarten and they'll ask her if she's
excited to go to school, blah, blah, blah. Make unschooling just as
exciting for her. Let her create her "school" and ask her to tell
you about it - what happens on a typical day, what's the name of her
school, what supplies and equipment does she use? And then let her
know that it's okay if she rearranges things or changes her mind
about what she wants to do because it's HER school. You can take her
shopping for "unschool supplies" and make a list of things she wants
to learn about or places she wants to visit. Making your own school
is a very fun project :o)

Good Luck!
Sarah

Valerie

> Syndi
> ps.....Which i'm still trying to figure out how to help him learn
to read, because he resist anything I try to teach!. Other then we
read read read read read every single day. I did explain to him
that we can work on helping him, and he stopped asking about school!

******Read, read, read, read is how Laurie learned to read. I
started reading The Little House series to her for 3-4 hours a day.
When I finished she picked up the first one and started reading. I
asked her how she knew what the words were and she didn't have a
clue.

love, Valerie

Betjeman and Barton Tea Merchants

My 4 year old went through a phase of asking about school. I explained that we were homeschooling which meant she "gets to go to school with Mommy" whereas other kids have to leave their mommies all day and go away and sit in a classroom and listen to a teacher. They don't get to play outside whenever they want to. They can't go to the playground or the beach during the day etc.

Now she proudly tells people that ask that she goes to school with mommy :-)

Of course we do have a bit of an advantage 2 of her older cousins are homeschooled (Sonlight -ick). So they go to school with their mommy too. '

Good luck!

Karen in CT


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melissazietlow

--- In [email protected], "mom2ckm"
<sarah_smile@e...> wrote:

> Your daughter will probably bring up "the big school" a lot in the
> coming months because well-meaning strangers will notice that she's
> about the right age for Kindergarten and they'll ask her if she's
> excited to go to school, blah, blah, blah. Make unschooling just as
> exciting for her. Let her create her "school" and ask her to tell
> you about it - what happens on a typical day, what's the name of
her school, what supplies and equipment does she use? And then let
her know that it's okay if she rearranges things or changes her mind
> about what she wants to do because it's HER school. You can take
> her shopping for "unschool supplies" and make a list of things she
> wants to learn about or places she wants to visit. Making your own
> school is a very fun project :o)


I like this idea, and will offer this next time she brings it up.
Hopefully it will help, but she tends not to go for things at first
if they are not HER idea... Perhaps going shopping for 'supplies'
will be appealing to her.