help - redirecting is not working
[email protected]
Hi Ladies,
Redirecting is not working for me, any idea how to talk to my children?
Ex: I have two car seats: marathon and roundabout
My soon to be 3 year old son is an escape artist. while I was driving home from nyc from visiting family yesterday he has come out of the car seat at least 3 times while I was driving 65 +. Any idea how to stop this?
He also like to put Vaseline, butter, baby vics and etc on the my parents hard wood floor/beddings and I have ask him to stop. He keeps on doing it.
My husband is unhappy with me as I don't like time out / hitting / yelling. I have find myself to be doing all of it them. How do you guys do it? He said I’m too extreme in my parenting style and I’m not working with him. Any ideas?
Thanks
Wendy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Redirecting is not working for me, any idea how to talk to my children?
Ex: I have two car seats: marathon and roundabout
My soon to be 3 year old son is an escape artist. while I was driving home from nyc from visiting family yesterday he has come out of the car seat at least 3 times while I was driving 65 +. Any idea how to stop this?
He also like to put Vaseline, butter, baby vics and etc on the my parents hard wood floor/beddings and I have ask him to stop. He keeps on doing it.
My husband is unhappy with me as I don't like time out / hitting / yelling. I have find myself to be doing all of it them. How do you guys do it? He said I’m too extreme in my parenting style and I’m not working with him. Any ideas?
Thanks
Wendy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betj
Here are my suggestions: Check your laws. He may not have to be in a carseat. In SC you can use a seatbelt at 2 (at least you could when my son was that age). As for the smearing things, just keep them out of his view and reach. ;) My son did that stuff. Actually more poured it out or mixed it all up. Even put my dad's BP pills in water to see what they would do (he was like 9). Let him smear and mix different things on something that's ok like paper outside or in the tub.
Beth
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: wtsai@...
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:14:24
To: <[email protected]>; <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] help - redirecting is not working
Hi Ladies,
Redirecting is not working for me, any idea how to talk to my children?
Ex: I have two car seats: marathon and roundabout
My soon to be 3 year old son is an escape artist. while I was driving home from nyc from visiting family yesterday he has come out of the car seat at least 3 times while I was driving 65 +. Any idea how to stop this?
He also like to put Vaseline, butter, baby vics and etc on the my parents hard wood floor/beddings and I have ask him to stop. He keeps on doing it.
My husband is unhappy with me as I don't like time out / hitting / yelling. I have find myself to be doing all of it them. How do you guys do it? He said I’m too extreme in my parenting style and I’m not working with him. Any ideas?
Thanks
Wendy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Beth
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: wtsai@...
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:14:24
To: <[email protected]>; <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] help - redirecting is not working
Hi Ladies,
Redirecting is not working for me, any idea how to talk to my children?
Ex: I have two car seats: marathon and roundabout
My soon to be 3 year old son is an escape artist. while I was driving home from nyc from visiting family yesterday he has come out of the car seat at least 3 times while I was driving 65 +. Any idea how to stop this?
He also like to put Vaseline, butter, baby vics and etc on the my parents hard wood floor/beddings and I have ask him to stop. He keeps on doing it.
My husband is unhappy with me as I don't like time out / hitting / yelling. I have find myself to be doing all of it them. How do you guys do it? He said I’m too extreme in my parenting style and I’m not working with him. Any ideas?
Thanks
Wendy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Rachael Reese
There is no way I would let my kids out of their carseats at age 2. In Washington state, they are required to be in a carseat until age 6. Longer is preferable.
I had the same problem when my son was 2 and as I asked around, I found that the harness was not tight enough. (Particularly with a Britax, they should not be able to get out of it.) I'm not sure if your son is able to unbuckle it or just is sliding out of the straps, but my son was pulling the harness down and undoing his arms. A car seat technician told me that there should only be a finger width between belt and collarbone. My son hated it being tight, but I explained to him that it was for his safety. No ifs, ands and buts when it comes to safety issues.
I agree that specific items should be kept out of reach if at all possible. Dr. Sears talks about creating an environment where you don't HAVE to say "no". Everything should be accessible to a child at their level.
I had the same problem when my son was 2 and as I asked around, I found that the harness was not tight enough. (Particularly with a Britax, they should not be able to get out of it.) I'm not sure if your son is able to unbuckle it or just is sliding out of the straps, but my son was pulling the harness down and undoing his arms. A car seat technician told me that there should only be a finger width between belt and collarbone. My son hated it being tight, but I explained to him that it was for his safety. No ifs, ands and buts when it comes to safety issues.
I agree that specific items should be kept out of reach if at all possible. Dr. Sears talks about creating an environment where you don't HAVE to say "no". Everything should be accessible to a child at their level.
----- Original Message -----
From: Betj
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, June 28, 2009 10:52 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] help - redirecting is not working
Here are my suggestions: Check your laws. He may not have to be in a carseat. In SC you can use a seatbelt at 2 (at least you could when my son was that age). As for the smearing things, just keep them out of his view and reach. ;) My son did that stuff. Actually more poured it out or mixed it all up. Even put my dad's BP pills in water to see what they would do (he was like 9). Let him smear and mix different things on something that's ok like paper outside or in the tub.
Beth
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: wtsai@...
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:14:24
To: <[email protected]>; <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] help - redirecting is not working
Hi Ladies,
Redirecting is not working for me, any idea how to talk to my children?
Ex: I have two car seats: marathon and roundabout
My soon to be 3 year old son is an escape artist. while I was driving home from nyc from visiting family yesterday he has come out of the car seat at least 3 times while I was driving 65 +. Any idea how to stop this?
He also like to put Vaseline, butter, baby vics and etc on the my parents hard wood floor/beddings and I have ask him to stop. He keeps on doing it.
My husband is unhappy with me as I don't like time out / hitting / yelling. I have find myself to be doing all of it them. How do you guys do it? He said I’m too extreme in my parenting style and I’m not working with him. Any ideas?
Thanks
Wendy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.5.339 / Virus Database: 270.12.93/2206 - Release Date: 06/27/09 17:55:00
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Gray
Is he unbuckling it or squiggling out between the belts? If he's
unbuckling, there is nothing you can do but stop and rebuckle. If
he's squirming out, then the straps aren't tight enough. You
shouldn't be able to get a finger underneath the strap, you can also
test by pinching the belt...if it pinches up, it's too loose.
However, much like with the smearing, he's not of an age where you
can reason with him. He's only two. Two year olds are notorious for
lacking reasoning and bargaining skills. As someone else pointed out,
your best bet for smearing would be to provide LOTS of opportunity
for doing it appropriately. We had a child who did (and still, at 12
LOVES to do this). Give him cookie sheets and let him smear crisco or
butter on them. Put him in the bath and let him smear Mr Bubbles
every where. Strip him naked and let him rub sunblock all over. It
would be awesome to be able to do an entire sidewalk or something.
Vaseline is cheap. Buy a big bucket of it from the dollar tree and
let him cover a tree trunk. Buy a squirt bottle of lotion and have
him squirt it all into a bowl, and use a spatula to put it back in.
Your best bet is to spend the next six months watching him very
closely and when he gets into something at your parent's house,
redirect him "Oh, you want to play with vaseline? I brought
yours...lets do it on the porch" He's two, you can't count on just
visiting right now, and your family should know that. They can sit
out there with you. If they don't like it, then perhaps now isn't the
best time in the life of your son to visit, and you can share that
with them. Probably, if you add LOTS of time for him to play with
messy gunk, he will not seek to do so much of it when it's not
okay...he'll be more easily directed to wait until we get home, or to
only use his stash.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel, Avari, and
baby Nathan!
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
unbuckling, there is nothing you can do but stop and rebuckle. If
he's squirming out, then the straps aren't tight enough. You
shouldn't be able to get a finger underneath the strap, you can also
test by pinching the belt...if it pinches up, it's too loose.
However, much like with the smearing, he's not of an age where you
can reason with him. He's only two. Two year olds are notorious for
lacking reasoning and bargaining skills. As someone else pointed out,
your best bet for smearing would be to provide LOTS of opportunity
for doing it appropriately. We had a child who did (and still, at 12
LOVES to do this). Give him cookie sheets and let him smear crisco or
butter on them. Put him in the bath and let him smear Mr Bubbles
every where. Strip him naked and let him rub sunblock all over. It
would be awesome to be able to do an entire sidewalk or something.
Vaseline is cheap. Buy a big bucket of it from the dollar tree and
let him cover a tree trunk. Buy a squirt bottle of lotion and have
him squirt it all into a bowl, and use a spatula to put it back in.
Your best bet is to spend the next six months watching him very
closely and when he gets into something at your parent's house,
redirect him "Oh, you want to play with vaseline? I brought
yours...lets do it on the porch" He's two, you can't count on just
visiting right now, and your family should know that. They can sit
out there with you. If they don't like it, then perhaps now isn't the
best time in the life of your son to visit, and you can share that
with them. Probably, if you add LOTS of time for him to play with
messy gunk, he will not seek to do so much of it when it's not
okay...he'll be more easily directed to wait until we get home, or to
only use his stash.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel, Avari, and
baby Nathan!
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
On Jun 27, 2009, at 10:14 PM, wtsai@... wrote:
>
>
>
>
> Hi Ladies,
>
> Redirecting is not working for me, any idea how to talk to my
> children?
>
> Ex: I have two car seats: marathon and roundabout
>
> My soon to be 3 year old son is an escape artist. while I was
> driving home from nyc from visiting family yesterday he has come
> out of the car seat at least 3 times while I was driving 65 +. Any
> idea how to stop this?
>
> He also like to put Vaseline, butter, baby vics and etc on the my
> parents hard wood floor/beddings and I have ask him to stop. He
> keeps on doing it.
>
> My husband is unhappy with me as I don't like time out / hitting /
> yelling. I have find myself to be doing all of it them. How do
> you guys do it? He said I�m too extreme in my parenting style and
> I�m not working with him. Any ideas?
>
> Thanks
>
> Wendy
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Camille & Paul
Hes exploring with what ever he can get his hands on. If he cant get it he wont do it. Have your parents shut the bathroom door or put there products up high or something. I would think they would have done that by now if they value their floor :) Maybe they could have something else for him to do while hes there, where you can all keep an eye on him. Hes probably bored & needs something to do, so hes entertaining himself; shouting etc at him wont change that.
The carseat thing is a bit different, I would ring one of the baby stores/car seat stores and ask them for any ideas. It maybe there is something you could purchase that will keep him in his seat - when it comes to safety I would draw the line, however Ive not had this problem. Goodluck.
Blessings,
¸.·´ .·-:¦:-
((¸¸.·´Camille .·´-:¦:- ~
-:¦:-¸¸.·´*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The carseat thing is a bit different, I would ring one of the baby stores/car seat stores and ask them for any ideas. It maybe there is something you could purchase that will keep him in his seat - when it comes to safety I would draw the line, however Ive not had this problem. Goodluck.
Blessings,
¸.·´ .·-:¦:-
((¸¸.·´Camille .·´-:¦:- ~
-:¦:-¸¸.·´*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The Coffee Goddess
On the car seat issue--we NEVER go on a drive without a grown up or big kid to help in the back seat with the baby. We have unlimited toys in the car, books, juice, snacks, movies, etc....but also daddy or mommy or teen sister to READ and PLAY and be present with baby in case she needs something. Buckling tight helps, of course, but also PLENTY of stops, at every rest stop for a run-around, at the mall or park to play, whatever. Car rides are horrible for some little people! Since it sounds like this was a long car ride, have you considered taking the train or bus instead? We took a train ride with our one year old recently and it was really great, as she could run around all she liked. You might also start your car trip at bedtime so baby falls asleep while you're driving. And even at that, if he squirms free--just pull over at the next stop and buckle him back in without making a big deal out of it. You being stressed and flustered will
only make an accident more likely.
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
only make an accident more likely.
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
logan_rose_porter
You can buy a special thing which snaps over the shoulder straps (in Australia its called a Securewrap) to keep them together so they cant be slipped off. I bought one for my DS. He wasnt climbing out just taking the two shoulder straps off- which scares me because of what would happen to him if we stopped suddenly. But of course the phase miraculously stopped as soon as I bought it, so I never had to use it.
Maybe a 3 year old would work out how to get it off pretty quick though. He's old enough to understand a bit more, have you tried explaining in simple terms why he needs to stay in the seat (in an informational kind of way)? Perhaps you could tell him that if he needs to stretch his legs for a while he can *ask* you to pull over for a few minutes and you will- this only works if you actually *will* though. My two year old responds really well to this kind of thing because he knows when he asks I will respond immediately. And it works well for me because I know he wont do whatever dangerous thing it is without letting me know.
Without knowing the reason your DS's getting out of the seat, its hard to offer more advice. But Im sure there's a reason, you just have to work out what it is and find a way to meet both your needs.
Maybe a 3 year old would work out how to get it off pretty quick though. He's old enough to understand a bit more, have you tried explaining in simple terms why he needs to stay in the seat (in an informational kind of way)? Perhaps you could tell him that if he needs to stretch his legs for a while he can *ask* you to pull over for a few minutes and you will- this only works if you actually *will* though. My two year old responds really well to this kind of thing because he knows when he asks I will respond immediately. And it works well for me because I know he wont do whatever dangerous thing it is without letting me know.
Without knowing the reason your DS's getting out of the seat, its hard to offer more advice. But Im sure there's a reason, you just have to work out what it is and find a way to meet both your needs.
--- In [email protected], "Camille & Paul" <morlingfamily@...> wrote:
>
> The carseat thing is a bit different, I would ring one of the baby stores/car seat stores and ask them for any ideas. It maybe there is something you could purchase that will keep him in his seat - when it comes to safety I would draw the line, however Ive not had this problem. Goodluck.
> Blessings,
> ¸.·´ .·-:¦:-
> ((¸¸.·´Camille .·´-:¦:- ~
> -:¦:-¸¸.·´*
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Wendy Tsai
What would I do without you guys, I think you for all the suggestions and I'll keep a notebook on what's bothering me and come back to ask more advices.
As for the seatbelt, I have notice it doesn’t matter how long trip is, He would push the Chest Clip down then get his arms out of the shoulder straps. I can’t really say why he does this. Sometimes it’s because he wants to get his toy and sometimes it’s just for fun to see our reactions.
Thank you all again
Wendy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The Coffee Goddess
My question is why is a two year old alone in someone else's house long enough to get a hold of vaseline, get it open, and start smearing it? Part of what's supposed to be good about visiting grandma and grandpa is MORE people to watch baby, not fewer. If they want to visit with you and baby's not getting included, I think the adult dynamic in the household is what's at fault, not the 2 year old.....Re-direct grandma and grandpa instead--let's all go to the zoo, let's all play in the grass, let's all turn on the Wiggles and dance, let's all cook together in the kitchen, whatever....
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sacha Davis
Another idea might be to get some really cool toys that your toddler
doesn't usually get to play with. In our house this would be things
with all the bells and whistles and flashing lights. They can live at
G&G's house and when you visit your kid gets to play with them. For
me the benefit would be that they don't have to live at OUR house. :)
That may make smearing vaseline less attractive.
S.
doesn't usually get to play with. In our house this would be things
with all the bells and whistles and flashing lights. They can live at
G&G's house and when you visit your kid gets to play with them. For
me the benefit would be that they don't have to live at OUR house. :)
That may make smearing vaseline less attractive.
S.
On Jun 29, 2009, at 8:29 AM, The Coffee Goddess wrote:
>
>
> My question is why is a two year old alone in someone else's house
> long enough to get a hold of vaseline, get it open, and start
> smearing it? Part of what's supposed to be good about visiting
> grandma and grandpa is MORE people to watch baby, not fewer. If
> they want to visit with you and baby's not getting included, I think
> the adult dynamic in the household is what's at fault, not the 2
> year old.....Re-direct grandma and grandpa instead--let's all go to
> the zoo, let's all play in the grass, let's all turn on the Wiggles
> and dance, let's all cook together in the kitchen, whatever....
>
> Dana
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]