Laws and how to find them
tracyaustin30
Hi All,
I have no idea what to do first regarding not enrolling my daughter in 2nd grade next year? She went to a private school last year that we can no longer afford. We live in MA, and I have always been drawn to unschooling, though dd says she wants to do to school, not be homeschooled. I fee I must override this, since I feel so strongly that schooling is WRONG and detrimental to her (every child's) mental and emotional well-being.
So I now need to figure out what I need to do to go about this legally. Any guidance is greatly appreciated.
Many thanks,
Tracy in MA
I have no idea what to do first regarding not enrolling my daughter in 2nd grade next year? She went to a private school last year that we can no longer afford. We live in MA, and I have always been drawn to unschooling, though dd says she wants to do to school, not be homeschooled. I fee I must override this, since I feel so strongly that schooling is WRONG and detrimental to her (every child's) mental and emotional well-being.
So I now need to figure out what I need to do to go about this legally. Any guidance is greatly appreciated.
Many thanks,
Tracy in MA
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jun 14, 2009, at 3:36 PM, tracyaustin30 wrote:
http://mhla.org/
They have several pages on getting started. They also have a state
homeschooling Yahoo group where you can ask questions:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/masshomelearningassoc/
And anyone in New England should know about:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewEnglandUnschooling/
have a choice to be there. Essentially it's prison. If you homeschool
her against her will, you'll be bringing the worst aspect of school
home: you'll be making your home a prison.
I think the biggest favor people can do themselves when wants
conflict is to assume your idea could be wrong for that person! It
might be perfect for you, but not for the other person.
Ask her if she'd give you a year to try it. I suspect she's imagining
homeschooling much different than it can be! Ask her! Respect her
image of it (even if it's wrong.) She has legitimate reasons for
having pictured it as she has.
Make a list! This is important. It shows you're taking her feelings
seriously. Make a list of what she loves about school that she'd miss
and what she fears about homeschooling. You might not be able to give
her exactly what she asks for, but she'll appreciate you trying to
meet her needs. (You could bring her list here and people can
brainstorm ways of meeting them.)
But pressure to believe what you feel strongly in doesn't make it any
more palatable whether it's unschooling or a fundamentalist religion.
Joyce
> We live in MASpecifically for MA, go to:
http://mhla.org/
They have several pages on getting started. They also have a state
homeschooling Yahoo group where you can ask questions:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/masshomelearningassoc/
And anyone in New England should know about:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewEnglandUnschooling/
> I have always been drawn to unschooling, though dd says she wantsHonestly, the most damaging thing about school is that kids don't
> to do to school, not be homeschooled. I fee I must override this,
> since I feel so strongly that schooling is WRONG and detrimental to
> her (every child's) mental and emotional well-being.
have a choice to be there. Essentially it's prison. If you homeschool
her against her will, you'll be bringing the worst aspect of school
home: you'll be making your home a prison.
I think the biggest favor people can do themselves when wants
conflict is to assume your idea could be wrong for that person! It
might be perfect for you, but not for the other person.
Ask her if she'd give you a year to try it. I suspect she's imagining
homeschooling much different than it can be! Ask her! Respect her
image of it (even if it's wrong.) She has legitimate reasons for
having pictured it as she has.
Make a list! This is important. It shows you're taking her feelings
seriously. Make a list of what she loves about school that she'd miss
and what she fears about homeschooling. You might not be able to give
her exactly what she asks for, but she'll appreciate you trying to
meet her needs. (You could bring her list here and people can
brainstorm ways of meeting them.)
But pressure to believe what you feel strongly in doesn't make it any
more palatable whether it's unschooling or a fundamentalist religion.
Joyce
Kelly Nishan
Hi Tracy
We're in Worcester. I've also found http://www.ahem.info/index.htm to be a good resource. In MA it really depends on your school district. It's a great idea to be aware of the state laws so you can be aware of what your town should be asking you for and what you are not really obligated to provide.
I do agree with Joyce that you should take very seriously your daughter's desire to stay in school and adress it respectfully. Take this summer to really enjoy each other and have lots of fun. Keeping her home against her will isn't a great option. Providing her with a wonderful nurturing envionment full of options to explore the world will help her want to stay home.
I also think agreeing on a trial period is a good way to go. My daughter and I agreed to try unschooling for a year and then decide if she wanted to go into high school. We both knew that would never happen but it helped us both to not be afraid and to have something to tell family before we were really comfortable explaining what we were up to.
Also check out the Northeast Unschooling conference. Lots of fun and a chance for your daughter to meet other kids with crazy moms : )
Kelly
We're in Worcester. I've also found http://www.ahem.info/index.htm to be a good resource. In MA it really depends on your school district. It's a great idea to be aware of the state laws so you can be aware of what your town should be asking you for and what you are not really obligated to provide.
I do agree with Joyce that you should take very seriously your daughter's desire to stay in school and adress it respectfully. Take this summer to really enjoy each other and have lots of fun. Keeping her home against her will isn't a great option. Providing her with a wonderful nurturing envionment full of options to explore the world will help her want to stay home.
I also think agreeing on a trial period is a good way to go. My daughter and I agreed to try unschooling for a year and then decide if she wanted to go into high school. We both knew that would never happen but it helped us both to not be afraid and to have something to tell family before we were really comfortable explaining what we were up to.
Also check out the Northeast Unschooling conference. Lots of fun and a chance for your daughter to meet other kids with crazy moms : )
Kelly
~*~Tracy Austin
Thanks for your replies. In part, Joyce wrote:
"But pressure to believe what you feel strongly in doesn't make it any more palatable whether it's unschooling or a fundamentalist religion."
Good point.
I agree about talking about it which we have and we do, and list making which we have not yet, but will. I agree that her feelings are legitimate. When she was in the private school last year, half the time she didn't want to be there, thought it was too much work but it was very relaxed compared to public school.
She fears is that it will be day after day at home, with no friends and no fun, and we've talked about that and continue to do so, off and on. She may have other fears, too and I'll ask her. I have taken her to a nearby elementary school, since we have school choice and can pick where she goes. She liked it. She likes the idea of knowing what to expect, I think, which is fine of course.
Thanks again,
Tracy
"But pressure to believe what you feel strongly in doesn't make it any more palatable whether it's unschooling or a fundamentalist religion."
Good point.
I agree about talking about it which we have and we do, and list making which we have not yet, but will. I agree that her feelings are legitimate. When she was in the private school last year, half the time she didn't want to be there, thought it was too much work but it was very relaxed compared to public school.
She fears is that it will be day after day at home, with no friends and no fun, and we've talked about that and continue to do so, off and on. She may have other fears, too and I'll ask her. I have taken her to a nearby elementary school, since we have school choice and can pick where she goes. She liked it. She likes the idea of knowing what to expect, I think, which is fine of course.
Thanks again,
Tracy
----- Original Message -----
From: Joyce Fetteroll
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 15, 2009 5:55 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Laws and how to find them
On Jun 14, 2009, at 3:36 PM, tracyaustin30 wrote:
> We live in MA
Specifically for MA, go to:
http://mhla.org/
They have several pages on getting started. They also have a state
homeschooling Yahoo group where you can ask questions:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/masshomelearningassoc/
And anyone in New England should know about:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewEnglandUnschooling/
> I have always been drawn to unschooling, though dd says she wants
> to do to school, not be homeschooled. I fee I must override this,
> since I feel so strongly that schooling is WRONG and detrimental to
> her (every child's) mental and emotional well-being.
Honestly, the most damaging thing about school is that kids don't
have a choice to be there. Essentially it's prison. If you homeschool
her against her will, you'll be bringing the worst aspect of school
home: you'll be making your home a prison.
I think the biggest favor people can do themselves when wants
conflict is to assume your idea could be wrong for that person! It
might be perfect for you, but not for the other person.
Ask her if she'd give you a year to try it. I suspect she's imagining
homeschooling much different than it can be! Ask her! Respect her
image of it (even if it's wrong.) She has legitimate reasons for
having pictured it as she has.
Make a list! This is important. It shows you're taking her feelings
seriously. Make a list of what she loves about school that she'd miss
and what she fears about homeschooling. You might not be able to give
her exactly what she asks for, but she'll appreciate you trying to
meet her needs. (You could bring her list here and people can
brainstorm ways of meeting them.)
But pressure to believe what you feel strongly in doesn't make it any
more palatable whether it's unschooling or a fundamentalist religion.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]