yarnmama4

This may be a daft question, but is it possible to unschool with pnd? I've been homeschooling now for about 3 1/2 years and moving towards radical unschooling for the last 1 1/2 - 2 years. I gave birth to my 4th child, a beautiful baby girl, nearly 6 months ago and I'm not coping, I'm angry or crying a lot of the time, I'm short tempered with my boys, and I'm really not dealing with anything well at the moment. I would love some ideas on how to cope and avoid this having too much of an effect on my wonderful boys (12, 5 & 4)

Thanks in advance

Morag

susan burgess

Morag,
I don't post on here hardly at all, but I read them all and I couldn't not say something to you when I read your post.
I am so sorry you are having to go through that, it can be so agonizing. I am a Postpartum Doula and would be happy to chat with you off list, tell you some of the nutritional and other things I recommend to mamas dealing with PPD.

Peace,
Susan



--- In [email protected], "yarnmama4" <mumallboys@...> wrote:
>
> This may be a daft question, but is it possible to unschool with pnd? I've been homeschooling now for about 3 1/2 years and moving towards radical unschooling for the last 1 1/2 - 2 years. I gave birth to my 4th child, a beautiful baby girl, nearly 6 months ago and I'm not coping, I'm angry or crying a lot of the time, I'm short tempered with my boys, and I'm really not dealing with anything well at the moment. I would love some ideas on how to cope and avoid this having too much of an effect on my wonderful boys (12, 5 & 4)
>
> Thanks in advance
>
> Morag
>

Faith Void

I would really love to write a lot about this however all I have is
the phone right now so please understand the brevity.

Please seek help for PPD asap! If you are nursing there is still much
you can do, chiropractor, acupuncutre, homeopathy,nutrionalist,
natropath etc. Don't wait to get better on your own. Seek out a
reputable counselor and start immediately. It is imparative that you
heal yourself and stop hurting your kids. If you can't afford this ask
around until you find a sliding scale place or don't be afraid to
barter etc. Get really creative and make this a priority.

What I do when I want to tell is walk away. If I really need to yell I
yell. I just don't yell things *at* my kids. I'll just scream. When I
calm down I can apologize and explain if I need to. It might be a
little scary to just start screaming so you might want to talk to your
kids first so they have an understanding.

I'll write more when I can. Most important, get help NOW.

Faith

Sent from my iPhone

On May 27, 2009, at 6:29 PM, "yarnmama4" <mumallboys@...> wrote:

>
>
> This may be a daft question, but is it possible to unschool with
> pnd? I've been homeschooling now for about 3 1/2 years and moving
> towards radical unschooling for the last 1 1/2 - 2 years. I gave
> birth to my 4th child, a beautiful baby girl, nearly 6 months ago
> and I'm not coping, I'm angry or crying a lot of the time, I'm short
> tempered with my boys, and I'm really not dealing with anything well
> at the moment. I would love some ideas on how to cope and avoid this
> having too much of an effect on my wonderful boys (12, 5 & 4)
>
> Thanks in advance
>
> Morag
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On May 27, 2009, at 6:29 PM, yarnmama4 wrote:
> This may be a daft question, but is it possible to unschool with
> pnd? I've been homeschooling now for about 3 1/2 years and moving
> towards radical unschooling for the last 1 1/2 - 2 years. I gave
> birth to my 4th child, a beautiful baby girl, nearly 6 months ago
> and I'm not coping, I'm angry or crying a lot of the time, I'm
> short tempered with my boys, and I'm really not dealing with
> anything well at the moment. I would love some ideas on how to cope
> and avoid this having too much of an effect on my wonderful boys
> (12, 5 & 4)
>

It won't be optimal. Parenting, not just unschooling, needs parents
who are fully engaged.

Doctors should treat postpartum depression seriously. You shouldn't
be putting up with it for 6 mos. If the depression is getting in the
way of you seeking treatment, then do it for your kids and your husband.

Here's some information from the La Leche League. They'll have
recommendations that will support breastfeeding:

http://www.llli.org/NB/NBdepression.html

If you go here:
http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html
you can find a La Leche League in your area to get some personal one
on one advice.

According to Wikipedia therapy and drugs are equally effective (and a
combination isn't any more effective). Improvement will be seen in
1-4 weeks.

I'm sure some who have experience with PPD will come along, but to
get started, here's something on nutrition and postpartum depression
from Wikipedia:

> Nutrition
>
> Pregnant, nursing and postpartum women are strongly encouraged to
> seek the medical advice of their obstetrician or primary care
> physician regarding optimal nutrition during pregnancy and after
> birth.
>
> The following nutritional information may be beneficial in
> achieving a well-balanced diet during and after pregnancy, but
> studies are needed to confirm their role in preventing postpartum
> depression.
>
> Omega-3 fatty acids: Some experts believe that postpartum
> depression can be attributed to depletion of omega 3 fatty acids
> from the mother's brain to support development of the brain of the
> fetus or breast fed infant. This can be prevented by ensuring that
> sufficient omega 3 fatty acids are provided in the mother's diet.
> [12] Good natural sources of omega 3 fatty acids include edible
> linseed oil, certain fish, grass fed rather than grain fed meat,
> and eggs from chickens fed on flax seed or other feed high in omega
> 3 fats. Omega 3 can also be purchased in capsule form as a dietary
> supplement.
>
> Protein can be found in a wide variety of foods. Some examples
> follow: 3 ounces of most meat products contain 25 grams of protein,
> 3 large eggs have approximately 19 grams, and 3 ounces of Swiss
> cheese have about 15 grams.
>
> Hydration: One of the most important roles in any diet (especially
> for pregnant and nursing mothers) is that of hydration. Physicians
> may recommend that pregnant women consume ten 8-ounce glasses of
> water every day. Mothers who are nursing are strongly urged to
> drink a tall glass of water, milk or juice before sitting down to
> breastfeed their child. Women should consult with their physicians
> about caffeine and alcohol consumption postpartum.
>
> Vitamins: A pregnant and postpartum woman should speak with her
> physician for information about, and a recommendation for a daily
> prenatal/postnatal vitamin.
>
> B Vitamins Some limited research is indicating that the intake of B
> vitamins, specifically Riboflavin can help reduce the chance of
> post partum depression. [13] (Problem with B vitamins are water
> soluble and must be replenished each day.
>
> Appetite: If a woman finds herself with a loss of appetite or other
> eating disturbance, she should consult her physician. This may be a
> sign of postpartum depression and therefore should be discussed
> with a doctor.[2]

Joyce

jeangarretto

--- In [email protected], "yarnmama4" <mumallboys@...> wrote:
>
> This may be a daft question, but is it possible to unschool with pnd? I've been homeschooling now for about 3 1/2 years and moving towards radical unschooling for the last 1 1/2 - 2 years. I gave birth to my 4th child, a beautiful baby girl, nearly 6 months ago and I'm not coping, I'm angry or crying a lot of the time, I'm short tempered with my boys, and I'm really not dealing with anything well at the moment. I would love some ideas on how to cope and avoid this having too much of an effect on my wonderful boys (12, 5 & 4)
>
> Thanks in advance
>
> Morag
>
First, the fact that you can talk about it and know somethings not right is good. You definetly need to figure out how to get help. I've been there. Talk to your OB/GYN or mid-wife, also here are some websites to check out. www.depressionafterdelivery.com and www.postpartum.net. good luck and congrats on your little girl. jean(DOULA)

DJ250

I had PPD with my first. Sadly, the only person to tell me to get immediate help was my mother--not my OB, not the pediatrician!!! And I was crying in their offices! Anyway, yes, do get help ASAP! I did and it made a difference, truly! Don't make any big changes right now with your parenting--you're not ready. Have someone come help with the baby as much as you can (or with the other kids or all three).

Best wishes,
~Melissa, in MD :)

----- Original Message -----
From: yarnmama4
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 6:29 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Unschooling and postnatal depression





This may be a daft question, but is it possible to unschool with pnd? I've been homeschooling now for about 3 1/2 years and moving towards radical unschooling for the last 1 1/2 - 2 years. I gave birth to my 4th child, a beautiful baby girl, nearly 6 months ago and I'm not coping, I'm angry or crying a lot of the time, I'm short tempered with my boys, and I'm really not dealing with anything well at the moment. I would love some ideas on how to cope and avoid this having too much of an effect on my wonderful boys (12, 5 & 4)

Thanks in advance

Morag






------------------------------------------------------------------------------



No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.5.339 / Virus Database: 270.12.42/2137 - Release Date: 05/27/09 07:50:00


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Melissa Gray

It is possible, of course, all things are possible! It is much harder
though.

I usually have ppd pretty hard. Part of it is the hormones, but with
birthing your fourth, part of it might be feeling overwhelmed. It's
hard to have four children who need you, yes? Plus a partner, plus
the house, laundry, etc...it is very overwhelming, which will delay
healing from the birth.

Things that work for me: letting go of the housework/cooking/personal
expectations, spending more time with kids as well as ensuring that
*I* am eating well (because it's easy to skip a good meal when you
feel depressed or rushed), and spending half an hour each afternoon
walking (after dh gets home, before dinner gets started). I've also
got a pretty good routine with supplements, omegas, vitamin B
complex, still taking prenatals, and iron too. Making sure that I get
enough sleep at night, even if it means setting up cereal the night
before so I can lounge in bed with a nursing baby and doze in the
morning. I have a friend I can call any time during the day when I'm
feeling overwhelmed...do you have someone like that? Even dh will do
in a pinch ;-)

If you've ensured that all that has happened, it's time to call in
professionals, and be sure to feel no shame. There is nothing wrong
in needing help, the wrong is in ignoring it and making yourself and
your family suffer unnecessarily.


Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel, Avari, and
baby Nathan!
Wife to Zane

blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com



On May 27, 2009, at 5:29 PM, yarnmama4 wrote:

>
>
> This may be a daft question, but is it possible to unschool with
> pnd? I've been homeschooling now for about 3 1/2 years and moving
> towards radical unschooling for the last 1 1/2 - 2 years. I gave
> birth to my 4th child, a beautiful baby girl, nearly 6 months ago
> and I'm not coping, I'm angry or crying a lot of the time, I'm
> short tempered with my boys, and I'm really not dealing with
> anything well at the moment. I would love some ideas on how to cope
> and avoid this having too much of an effect on my wonderful boys
> (12, 5 & 4)
>
> Thanks in advance
>
> Morag
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tammy Curry

As everyone else has said you will need to get some help ASAP. PPD still isn't taken seriously enough. But you can get through it. Like others on the board, I had it. Actually it was mild after my first child but much worse with my second, there were some other factors such as the death of both my mom and mother in law just after my son was born that made it much worse, they were my support system. My husband was wonderful in helping take over house work and making sure that I ate. He did a lot with our daughter and his daughter who was living with us at the time. I was still able to nurse my son but I did use therapy and medication. The first morning that I woke up and felt "whole" again was amazing.

Definitely look to your support system for help. Being able to call and tell someone how you are feeling and sometimes having someone to listen to you cry, rant, and rave makes it easier to get through the day. I believe someone has already listed some really great nutritional information, this is a big must as well. Snuggle with the kids and tell them that you love them but you just don't feel like yourself right now. Kids have this way of just being themselves and it can make you feel better. If you feel overwhelmed tell them that you are and that you need to take a break. If housework is getting to you maybe see if a local teen can come over help with dishes and laundry. Sometimes even just having those two cleaning issues done so you don't have to look at it makes you feel better, less like you are failing because you don't have the energy or the normal spark to get it done. It helps to avoid that part of the cycle of feeling overwhelmed. Make sure
you let your husband know if you need more help from him even if it is just for something simple. Walking or exercise of some kind really does help as well. And it sounds silly because you probably feel tired all the time, but sleep, full regular sleep also helps tremdously.



Tammy Curry, Director of Chaos
http://tammycurry.blogspot.com/
http://crazy-homeschool-adventures.blogspot.com/

"If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in."

Rachel Carson




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Debra Rossing

> If I really need to yell I yell. I just don't yell things *at* my
kids. I'll just scream.

That's also what we taught DS to do when he was frustrated when he was
littler instead of lashing out verbally or physically. He was/is free to
let loose the most blood curdling screams/yells to just vent that pent
up energy. Worked well - he'd yell and stomp a bit, then only after
releasing the energy, could he actually explain what the problem was and
we could move on with helping work it out.

Deb R


**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.

This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.

www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On May 28, 2009, at 7:11 AM, jeangarretto wrote:

> www.depressionafterdelivery.com

I saw that site recommended by the March of Dimes but it isn't
working any more. The front page looks okay, but the links only lead
to sponsored links. There's no real information there.

Joyce

JRossedd

I saw this in my Miami Herald email this morning and thought of several
current discussions where it might help someone cope with her own
challenges -- unschooling while running in-home day care, unschooling
the undiapered, even unschooling while stressed/depressed (with the
caveat that post-partum depression specifically, can't be laughed off or
"cured" by positive thinking.)


JJ

http://www.momsmiami.com/?a=profile&u=2&t=blog&blog_id=1892

Psychiatrist Judith Orloff offers six tips for combating the stress,
worry, fear and anxiety that come from being a supermom and caretaker.

*LIMIT EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES*

Emotional vampires are people who sap your energy and leave you feeling
fatigued, agitated or craving comfort food. Emotional vampires come in
all forms, from needy children and critical spouses, to unpleasant
coworkers and nagging parents. When you're around people who drain your
energy, practice saying no, politely excusing yourself, or communicating
your limits clearly and calmly.

*STAY IN THE NOW*

When you feel yourself being overwhelmed by responsibilities,
deadlines and pressures, don't catastrophize. Instead, keep your mind
focused on the present moment only. Don't let it wander to worst-case
scenarios. Stay focused on the positive changes you can make and the
practical steps you can take today.

*LAUGH IT OFF*

Mothers are great at changing direction. They're used to making
last-minute changes due to a sick child, a snow day, or a babysitter who
doesn't show. Next time you're stressed out because things aren't going
your way, find something humorous about your current situation, and
write an inner comedy sketch about it. Searching for humor in a
situation immediately counteracts stress.

*EVALUATE THE ANXIETY*

Thoughtfully consider if a real threat exists or if you're blowing
things out of proportion. You can ask questions such as, "What's the
worst thing that could happen?'' Or, "Will anyone die, go hungry or be
harmed?'' Go through this mental exercise to bring stressors back into
perspective.

*CHANGE YOUR STRESS CHEMISTRY*

5-HTP is a plant extract that converts into serotonin in the brain,
gently reducing anxiety and improving sleep. Kava-kava, from the root of
a South Pacific plant, promotes relaxation, improves sleep, and relieves
muscle tension. Calcium/magnesium, minerals that are depleted by stress,
are calming and promote rest. Vigorous aerobic exercise stimulates
feel-good endorphins that counteract stress.

*EXPRESS GRATITUDE*

One of the quickest ways to defuse stress is to take a breath and make
a mental list of five things for which you are grateful. Not only does
this activity distract you from obsessive worries, but cultivating
positive thoughts has an immediate calming effect on your neurochemistry
and will help you relax and unwind.

/Judith Orloff/ <http://www.judithorloff.com>/ is a board-certified
psychiatrist and an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA.
Her new book is "Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative
Emotions and Transform Your Life" (Harmony Books, 2009, $24.95).
/

/
/

/
/

amberlee_b

The one thing I learned is that many times it is hormonal and not just depression. Your hormones and thryoid get tossed around pretty good during pregnancy add lack of sleep to that and you have a time bomb waiting to happen. If your doc is a dope and won't help (and I don't mean "here is birth control and an antidepressant--any other drugs I can get you on") and you maybe look for a really good chiropractor or natural doc who will. My chiropractor was a godsend and has helped me get from feeling like a sobbing, irritable, angry and sometimes rage-filled wreak to finally feeling like I did before I had children. It may take a while for your body to adjust.....sort of like losing weight, you didn't put it on in a day it will take twice as long to lose as it did to put on. Same with your hormones!

Another thing you can do is research for yourself! I love the internet. Don't automatically assume that it is depression that you need prozack or zoloft for. I am surprised the docs didn't want to put you on that right away. Anyway, look up hormone imbalances, talk to a good chiropractor, get a massage, take some time for just you (I know mostly impossible with little ones at home....). I agree you need to get help, but really look into natural alternatives too. Somethings you just let go--housework is first.

Many times when your hormones are off your thyroid will be also--mine would violently switch back and forth between super low to super high and make me wonky. It has gotten better with a supplement called Ovex by Standard Process....I am looking into one that is closer to what our bodies are like right now as well to see if it can do more for me.

Hang in there, just be sure to find someone you can work with to help you out!

Faith Void

On Fri, May 29, 2009 at 11:27 AM, amberlee_b <amberlee16@...> wrote:

>
>
> take some time for just you (I know mostly impossible with little ones at
> home....).
>







***Great advice Amberlee. This is really imperative as well. Find someone
that can watch them for an hour so you can attend your needs, even if that
is showering or staring at the wall. My DH would much rather me hand him the
kids as soon as he walks in the door than be a raving lunatic. Find a
solution. If something isn't working keep trying until you find something
that does. Even if you don't feel like you are worth it right now, you know
your kids are worth it. The sooner you get straight the sooner they start to
heal.

Faith



--
http://faithvoid.blogspot.com/
www.bearthmama.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

m_aduhene

hi,
only just caught this thread, but felt i ought to reply. i had very severe pnd after my third child. i was hospitalised for 6 weeks and thankfully allowed to keep yden (the baby) with me. it took me 6 weeks after she was born to realise there was a problem. you have done amazingly well to cope with it for 6 months but as everyone else has suggested i think you should begin the road to healing yourself. seek out all the help u can, housework, child minding, shoppers etc. don't feel ashamed. i am a big "coper" and don't like asking for help at all. this experience for me was very humbling. no-one had ever looked after my children except me and i had to entrust them to other people (who btw were amazing) and daddy. it was tough but necessary. after the 6 weeks we employed an aupair for a while, which i hated but again it was necessary. 3 years down the line i am fully recovered and look back at that time as a brief downer. my children are no worse off from the time i had to spend away from them. u will of course not have to go to hospital but what i am trying to say is that any time u take for u will only benefit them becos it will restore u. the other important thing i found was to talk, talk and talk some more, to supportive, caring people. i had a friend who i phoned and just cried to. also to cry and go with the flow. some days were the pits but i got through it by following the advice of live by the moment.
i am so with u as u go through this time in your life and if u want to e-mail off-list i would be happy to chat.
i am praying for u.
blessings
michelle
pls reply to : michelleaduhene@...