night time...help
sistergoddesselli
We started homeschooling in December 2008 and un-schooling in February/March. I love it!!
I am struggling with something...
I like to sleep at night.
My kids, 8 and 11, are enjoying staying up - TV and computer games. They are actually getting along better, since we started un-schooling, which is such a joy!!
I go to bed between 9 - 11. Hubby comes up around 12. Kids and dogs come up and down the stairs in between 12 midnight - 2 am, finally settling in around 2:30 or 3 am in the family bed. New puppy wakes me up around 5 - 7 am. And, some mornings I teach a class at 9 am.
I have rheumatoid arthritis and sleep can be difficult to attain anyway.
I am getting very little sleep at night these days.
Hubby clucks his tongue and smiles at my struggles, because he never really was into homeschooling much less un-schooling. And, he'd prefer stricter bedtime and no family bed. But, for the most part, he leaves the bulk of the parenting up to me. He earns the money for our family.
I am planning to talk to the kids some more about how this is not working for me. And, to be specific in the details.
I want to be careful that I don't guilt trip them. That's what my mom used to do with me, and it is so easy for me to slip into that.
We started talking about it last night (at 3 am) and the kids want to try to go to bed earlier, to accommodate my needs and to get more outside play during the daylight hours for themselves.
I welcome any tips you have...that will let me get the sleep I need and give the kids the freedom and respect they deserve.
Love,
Elli
I am struggling with something...
I like to sleep at night.
My kids, 8 and 11, are enjoying staying up - TV and computer games. They are actually getting along better, since we started un-schooling, which is such a joy!!
I go to bed between 9 - 11. Hubby comes up around 12. Kids and dogs come up and down the stairs in between 12 midnight - 2 am, finally settling in around 2:30 or 3 am in the family bed. New puppy wakes me up around 5 - 7 am. And, some mornings I teach a class at 9 am.
I have rheumatoid arthritis and sleep can be difficult to attain anyway.
I am getting very little sleep at night these days.
Hubby clucks his tongue and smiles at my struggles, because he never really was into homeschooling much less un-schooling. And, he'd prefer stricter bedtime and no family bed. But, for the most part, he leaves the bulk of the parenting up to me. He earns the money for our family.
I am planning to talk to the kids some more about how this is not working for me. And, to be specific in the details.
I want to be careful that I don't guilt trip them. That's what my mom used to do with me, and it is so easy for me to slip into that.
We started talking about it last night (at 3 am) and the kids want to try to go to bed earlier, to accommodate my needs and to get more outside play during the daylight hours for themselves.
I welcome any tips you have...that will let me get the sleep I need and give the kids the freedom and respect they deserve.
Love,
Elli
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "sistergoddesselli" <elinorsparks@...> wrote:
It might be better to start waking them earlier, rather than trying to get them to wind down earlier.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>> the kids want to try to go to bed earlier, to accommodate my needs and to get more outside play during the daylight hours for themselves.**********************
It might be better to start waking them earlier, rather than trying to get them to wind down earlier.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
Jeff Sabo
***Hubby clucks his tongue and smiles at my struggles, because he never really was into homeschooling much less un-schooling. And, he'd prefer stricter bedtime and no family bed. But, for the most part, he leaves the bulk of the parenting up to me. He earns the money for our family.***
Elli, I have to wonder if your family will be properly set up to fully enjoy this unschooling journey if this is the case. Unschooling as an educational philosophy only is really hard to do if both parents are not on board; but when it becomes more a lifestyle choice (allowing them to choose their own bedtimes, as an example)it is critical that you guys be in at least the same book, if not on the same page. Mocking your struggle is an indicator, as is defining it as "your struggle." If he has never been into homeschooling or unschooling, why are you doing it? It's one thing to be the leader of the unschooling in your home with a resistant partner, but it's something else entirely to have him not go along at all. I may be crossing into a discussion that you did not intend to raise, but . . . . having only one of the parents actually be a parent is not sustainable long-term, is it? I'd encourage you to try and reconcile this before you start
unschooling, because unschooling is amazingly challenging under the best of circumstances when both parents are aligned.
Wishing you a peaceful path -
Jeff
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elli, I have to wonder if your family will be properly set up to fully enjoy this unschooling journey if this is the case. Unschooling as an educational philosophy only is really hard to do if both parents are not on board; but when it becomes more a lifestyle choice (allowing them to choose their own bedtimes, as an example)it is critical that you guys be in at least the same book, if not on the same page. Mocking your struggle is an indicator, as is defining it as "your struggle." If he has never been into homeschooling or unschooling, why are you doing it? It's one thing to be the leader of the unschooling in your home with a resistant partner, but it's something else entirely to have him not go along at all. I may be crossing into a discussion that you did not intend to raise, but . . . . having only one of the parents actually be a parent is not sustainable long-term, is it? I'd encourage you to try and reconcile this before you start
unschooling, because unschooling is amazingly challenging under the best of circumstances when both parents are aligned.
Wishing you a peaceful path -
Jeff
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], Jeff Sabo <freeboysdad@...> wrote:
It is possible for a partner who doesn't value unschooling to Come to value it along the way. The tricky part is finding ways for the other partner to feel like a valuble, loved member of the family - its easy to slip into "mom and kids -vs- dad"
Plenty of families come to unschooling with only one parent onboard at first. Its a strange new thing - geez my dp has found some new "cause" or crazy idea... like home birth or breastfeeding on demand or going diaperless. It takes time to adjust to the strange new thing - and a parent working outside the home doesn't have as much time. It takes longer.
It was helpful for George, early on, for me to just listen to his concerns about the kids, and his unhappiness that I seemed more interested in their feelings than his. I worked on being more appreciative of him, personally, of showing him in ways that made sense to him that I valued him and his feelings. That's what, eventually, got him "on board" with unschooling. He's never read a darned thing about it, as far as I know. And he's a staunch radical unschooler, too, so I know its not *necessary* to have all your ducks in a row, as far as parenting goes, before you start.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>If he has never been into homeschooling or unschooling, why are you doing it? It's one thing to be the leader of the unschooling in your home with a resistant partner, but it's something else entirely to have him not go along at all. I may be crossing into a discussion that you did not intend to raise, but . . . . having only one of the parents actually be a parent is not sustainable long-term, is it? I'd encourage you to try and reconcile this before you start****************************
It is possible for a partner who doesn't value unschooling to Come to value it along the way. The tricky part is finding ways for the other partner to feel like a valuble, loved member of the family - its easy to slip into "mom and kids -vs- dad"
Plenty of families come to unschooling with only one parent onboard at first. Its a strange new thing - geez my dp has found some new "cause" or crazy idea... like home birth or breastfeeding on demand or going diaperless. It takes time to adjust to the strange new thing - and a parent working outside the home doesn't have as much time. It takes longer.
It was helpful for George, early on, for me to just listen to his concerns about the kids, and his unhappiness that I seemed more interested in their feelings than his. I worked on being more appreciative of him, personally, of showing him in ways that made sense to him that I valued him and his feelings. That's what, eventually, got him "on board" with unschooling. He's never read a darned thing about it, as far as I know. And he's a staunch radical unschooler, too, so I know its not *necessary* to have all your ducks in a row, as far as parenting goes, before you start.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)