Help with view point and acceptance
jennifercroce37
I need some help with dealing with my feelings regarding how my dd looks or wants to look. She is obsessed with wanting to dye her hair red like Pipi Longstockings, she complains her ankle or wrist hurts and will wrap them in ace bandages (nothing actually wrong with them) and wants to wear make up (she is 6). I want to respect her wishes to do/wear what she wants, but I also want her to be happy with who she is and how she looks. I feel letting her change things about herself sends the message that how she naturally looks isn't good enough.
I take 15 minutes to get myself ready (shower, throw hair with beginnings of grey in a ponytail, get dressed and go). I only take longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not role modeling that to look good you need to change or add things to yourself. I remember going through a similar phase when I was a teenager.
I am concerned about her wanting to wear bandages around her ankles and wrists especially since she isn't hurt, I just find it a bit weird. As always I need help looking at it from an unschooling perspective.
Thanks,
Jen
I take 15 minutes to get myself ready (shower, throw hair with beginnings of grey in a ponytail, get dressed and go). I only take longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not role modeling that to look good you need to change or add things to yourself. I remember going through a similar phase when I was a teenager.
I am concerned about her wanting to wear bandages around her ankles and wrists especially since she isn't hurt, I just find it a bit weird. As always I need help looking at it from an unschooling perspective.
Thanks,
Jen
Joyce Fetteroll
On May 18, 2009, at 9:20 AM, jennifercroce37 wrote:
that she didn't like being human?
Instead of looking at your fears, look at your daughter and the
delight she gets from dressing up and pretending. It's what actors
do. One thing it can do is allow them to release something rather
than keeping it trapped inside. (I've heard it said that Boris
Karloff and the woman who played the Wicked Witch of the West were
very sweet people :-)
Rather than making her proud of herself, your fears are more likely
to make her think there's something wrong with her for wanting to
dress up. Or she'll think you're clueless about who she is and about
the real world ;-) and start looking at all your advice as suspect.
Help yourself be comfortable with pretend now because when she's a
teen it's likely she'll want to try on all sorts of looks and emulate
people that you might be uncomfortable with. While it doesn't seem to
make sense, trying on different hats and masks is a way of
discovering who they are.
It's a good thing the actors in medical shows didn't find it weird!
Without bandages the scenes of patients would be weird!
Let go. Play along with her. Be an EMT and bandage her up. Let her
bandage you. Be really weird and go shopping bandaged up with big
smiles on your faces. I bet you create smiles as you go and the
people who look at you weird are the ones who aren't having much fun
in their lives (probably because their moms wouldn't let them go to
the store looking "weird".)
You can't make a desire go away, but you can drive it inward into a
dark and shameful place where it will turn into who knows what. Let
her release these things and have fun with it! :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I want to respect her wishes to do/wear what she wants, but I alsoWhat if she wanted to put on cat ears and a tail, would you worry
> want her to be happy with who she is and how she looks. I feel
> letting her change things about herself sends the message that how
> she naturally looks isn't good enough.
that she didn't like being human?
Instead of looking at your fears, look at your daughter and the
delight she gets from dressing up and pretending. It's what actors
do. One thing it can do is allow them to release something rather
than keeping it trapped inside. (I've heard it said that Boris
Karloff and the woman who played the Wicked Witch of the West were
very sweet people :-)
Rather than making her proud of herself, your fears are more likely
to make her think there's something wrong with her for wanting to
dress up. Or she'll think you're clueless about who she is and about
the real world ;-) and start looking at all your advice as suspect.
> I only take longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not roleYour daughter is a different person than you are. Embrace that :-)
> modeling that to look good you need to change or add things to
> yourself. I remember going through a similar phase when I was a
> teenager.
>
Help yourself be comfortable with pretend now because when she's a
teen it's likely she'll want to try on all sorts of looks and emulate
people that you might be uncomfortable with. While it doesn't seem to
make sense, trying on different hats and masks is a way of
discovering who they are.
> I am concerned about her wanting to wear bandages around her anklesWhy? It's a question to ask yourself.
> and wrists especially since she isn't hurt, I just find it a bit
> weird.
>
It's a good thing the actors in medical shows didn't find it weird!
Without bandages the scenes of patients would be weird!
Let go. Play along with her. Be an EMT and bandage her up. Let her
bandage you. Be really weird and go shopping bandaged up with big
smiles on your faces. I bet you create smiles as you go and the
people who look at you weird are the ones who aren't having much fun
in their lives (probably because their moms wouldn't let them go to
the store looking "weird".)
You can't make a desire go away, but you can drive it inward into a
dark and shameful place where it will turn into who knows what. Let
her release these things and have fun with it! :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Faith Void
My daughter is/was like that. She is 12 now but when she was really
small, 5-7 she would wrap her body parts and be injured. Heck the
first time she sprained her ankle for real she was excited! She has
always been through several costume changes a day. She loves to dress
up and try on new anything. She is quite adventurous. And she loved
mske up at that age! Bright blue eyeshadow caked on like marker. Or
face paint. She would often make herself a cat face and dress
accordingly and act like a cat. She loves drama and acting.
Also she was three the first time we dyed her hair, blue and green
like a mermaid. And she had dreads. I really just had to let go of
worrying about what others thought and be happy and excited for her.
All the things you've mentioned are a nomal
Part of growing up and bring your own person. Some kids need to try
everything! I asked DD once if she dressed and acted different because
she didn't like who she was, "this is who I am, it would be really
boring to always be the same every day." she is very self confident
and knows herself. She still dresses interestingly and frequently dyes
her hair. Although she is contemplating her natural color at the
moment. It has never stopped her from being herself, it's just a part
of who she *IS*.
Faith
Sent from my iPhone
On May 18, 2009, at 9:20 AM, "jennifercroce37" <jennifercroce37@...
small, 5-7 she would wrap her body parts and be injured. Heck the
first time she sprained her ankle for real she was excited! She has
always been through several costume changes a day. She loves to dress
up and try on new anything. She is quite adventurous. And she loved
mske up at that age! Bright blue eyeshadow caked on like marker. Or
face paint. She would often make herself a cat face and dress
accordingly and act like a cat. She loves drama and acting.
Also she was three the first time we dyed her hair, blue and green
like a mermaid. And she had dreads. I really just had to let go of
worrying about what others thought and be happy and excited for her.
All the things you've mentioned are a nomal
Part of growing up and bring your own person. Some kids need to try
everything! I asked DD once if she dressed and acted different because
she didn't like who she was, "this is who I am, it would be really
boring to always be the same every day." she is very self confident
and knows herself. She still dresses interestingly and frequently dyes
her hair. Although she is contemplating her natural color at the
moment. It has never stopped her from being herself, it's just a part
of who she *IS*.
Faith
Sent from my iPhone
On May 18, 2009, at 9:20 AM, "jennifercroce37" <jennifercroce37@...
> wrote:[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> I need some help with dealing with my feelings regarding how my dd
> looks or wants to look. She is obsessed with wanting to dye her hair
> red like Pipi Longstockings, she complains her ankle or wrist hurts
> and will wrap them in ace bandages (nothing actually wrong with
> them) and wants to wear make up (she is 6). I want to respect her
> wishes to do/wear what she wants, but I also want her to be happy
> with who she is and how she looks. I feel letting her change things
> about herself sends the message that how she naturally looks isn't
> good enough.
>
> I take 15 minutes to get myself ready (shower, throw hair with
> beginnings of grey in a ponytail, get dressed and go). I only take
> longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not role modeling
> that to look good you need to change or add things to yourself. I
> remember going through a similar phase when I was a teenager.
>
> I am concerned about her wanting to wear bandages around her ankles
> and wrists especially since she isn't hurt, I just find it a bit
> weird. As always I need help looking at it from an unschooling
> perspective.
>
> Thanks,
> Jen
>
>
Jeff Sabo
Jen, is your concern that it just seems odd to you, or is there a touch of "what will other people think of me as a parent if I let her go out like that?" At various times over the past 8 years, out kids (mainly the littlest guy, now 7) have gone out dressed as Jedi, Army guys, Superman, "Crazy Elf", Darth Vader, Fonzi (his latest), and a host of other hybrid mix-n-match things, with or without a plan or purpose. Of course we get stared at from time to time . . . but I've learned to ignore it by focusing on the fact that my kids are making choices to let their imaginations run wild, which means they are living freely. Like most choices they do and will make, this is not about me - it's about them, and my role is to support and enjoy.
This reply may seem simple, but - - - it sounds to me like she is having fun here, and is letting her imagination flourish. Many 6yo aren't comfy with that at all, but your little darlin' seems to be having fun with it. Sounds like an unschooling "win" to me.
This reply may seem simple, but - - - it sounds to me like she is having fun here, and is letting her imagination flourish. Many 6yo aren't comfy with that at all, but your little darlin' seems to be having fun with it. Sounds like an unschooling "win" to me.
--- On Mon, 5/18/09, jennifercroce37 <jennifercroce37@...> wrote:
From: jennifercroce37 <jennifercroce37@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Help with view point and acceptance
To: [email protected]
Date: Monday, May 18, 2009, 6:20 AM
I need some help with dealing with my feelings regarding how my dd looks or wants to look. She is obsessed with wanting to dye her hair red like Pipi Longstockings, she complains her ankle or wrist hurts and will wrap them in ace bandages (nothing actually wrong with them) and wants to wear make up (she is 6). I want to respect her wishes to do/wear what she wants, but I also want her to be happy with who she is and how she looks. I feel letting her change things about herself sends the message that how she naturally looks isn't good enough.
I take 15 minutes to get myself ready (shower, throw hair with beginnings of grey in a ponytail, get dressed and go). I only take longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not role modeling that to look good you need to change or add things to yourself. I remember going through a similar phase when I was a teenager.
I am concerned about her wanting to wear bandages around her ankles and wrists especially since she isn't hurt, I just find it a bit weird. As always I need help looking at it from an unschooling perspective.
Thanks,
Jen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Gray
She's figuring out who she is, and what her style is. It's really
normal, and honestly will last for years and years. Be grateful that
her self-esteem is so strong she can feel free to do it.
My daughters wear hair holders on their wrists. Not one or two, but
six or seven on each one. I think it looks uncomfortable, but they
have their own reasons. Try not to let YOUR laid-back style get in
the way of her self-development. I'm also laid back, and it cracks me
up that I've given birth to three little girls who spend hours fixing
their hair, wanted makeup by age six (well, Ava is only three, but
she LOVES the makeup) They put on a fashion show a few weeks ago.
They are strong, confident girls, and I can see them not only growing
into wonderful women, but being great people right now.
Another thought, maybe she's trying to go for the look you see on
many older girls. They have some wonderful wrist wraps at hot topic
that are really cute. If you don't like the bandages, you might take
her to the mall and let her lead the way.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel, Avari, and
baby Nathan!
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
normal, and honestly will last for years and years. Be grateful that
her self-esteem is so strong she can feel free to do it.
My daughters wear hair holders on their wrists. Not one or two, but
six or seven on each one. I think it looks uncomfortable, but they
have their own reasons. Try not to let YOUR laid-back style get in
the way of her self-development. I'm also laid back, and it cracks me
up that I've given birth to three little girls who spend hours fixing
their hair, wanted makeup by age six (well, Ava is only three, but
she LOVES the makeup) They put on a fashion show a few weeks ago.
They are strong, confident girls, and I can see them not only growing
into wonderful women, but being great people right now.
Another thought, maybe she's trying to go for the look you see on
many older girls. They have some wonderful wrist wraps at hot topic
that are really cute. If you don't like the bandages, you might take
her to the mall and let her lead the way.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel, Avari, and
baby Nathan!
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
On May 18, 2009, at 8:20 AM, jennifercroce37 wrote:
>
>
> I need some help with dealing with my feelings regarding how my dd
> looks or wants to look. She is obsessed with wanting to dye her
> hair red like Pipi Longstockings, she complains her ankle or wrist
> hurts and will wrap them in ace bandages (nothing actually wrong
> with them) and wants to wear make up (she is 6). I want to respect
> her wishes to do/wear what she wants, but I also want her to be
> happy with who she is and how she looks. I feel letting her change
> things about herself sends the message that how she naturally looks
> isn't good enough.
>
> I take 15 minutes to get myself ready (shower, throw hair with
> beginnings of grey in a ponytail, get dressed and go). I only take
> longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not role modeling
> that to look good you need to change or add things to yourself. I
> remember going through a similar phase when I was a teenager.
>
> I am concerned about her wanting to wear bandages around her ankles
> and wrists especially since she isn't hurt, I just find it a bit
> weird. As always I need help looking at it from an unschooling
> perspective.
>
> Thanks,
> Jen
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
My kids can express themselves any way they want. My 3 year old dd loves to go out dressed as a princess.
My son used to wear his PJs to the park.
My dd also loved to wrap her limbs in vet wrap to pretend it was a cast after her brother broke his arm last year.
MY son had a bleach blond hair, because he is Naruto, for months.
Oh and he picks different names and changes them. He is MD Naruto Storm Polikowsky PI.
I really don't care if my kids are going to be judged because of it. I have actually had great feedback on all of it from moms that think it is pretty cool to be supportive of my children.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My son used to wear his PJs to the park.
My dd also loved to wrap her limbs in vet wrap to pretend it was a cast after her brother broke his arm last year.
MY son had a bleach blond hair, because he is Naruto, for months.
Oh and he picks different names and changes them. He is MD Naruto Storm Polikowsky PI.
I really don't care if my kids are going to be judged because of it. I have actually had great feedback on all of it from moms that think it is pretty cool to be supportive of my children.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jennifer Croce
From: Jeff Sabo freeboysdad@...
< Jen, is your concern that it just seems odd to you, or is there a touch of "what will other people think of me as a parent if I let her go out like that?" >
Yup, a little bit of both. It is just more stuff I've got to learn to let go of. I've started to let go more with the little one. She wears her nightgown all day and out in public. I took her over to my parents' house like that and my Dad looked at me me perplexed and said, "she has her pajamas on." I just shrugged and said, "yeah so?". I don't know why I have an easier time being unschooly with my younger dd and such a hard time with the older one.
Thanks,
Jen
________________________________
From: Jeff Sabo <freeboysdad@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 10:52:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help with view point and acceptance
Jen, is your concern that it just seems odd to you, or is there a touch of "what will other people think of me as a parent if I let her go out like that?" At various times over the past 8 years, out kids (mainly the littlest guy, now 7) have gone out dressed as Jedi, Army guys, Superman, "Crazy Elf", Darth Vader, Fonzi (his latest), and a host of other hybrid mix-n-match things, with or without a plan or purpose. Of course we get stared at from time to time . . . but I've learned to ignore it by focusing on the fact that my kids are making choices to let their imaginations run wild, which means they are living freely. Like most choices they do and will make, this is not about me - it's about them, and my role is to support and enjoy.
This reply may seem simple, but - - - it sounds to me like she is having fun here, and is letting her imagination flourish. Many 6yo aren't comfy with that at all, but your little darlin' seems to be having fun with it. Sounds like an unschooling "win" to me.
< Jen, is your concern that it just seems odd to you, or is there a touch of "what will other people think of me as a parent if I let her go out like that?" >
Yup, a little bit of both. It is just more stuff I've got to learn to let go of. I've started to let go more with the little one. She wears her nightgown all day and out in public. I took her over to my parents' house like that and my Dad looked at me me perplexed and said, "she has her pajamas on." I just shrugged and said, "yeah so?". I don't know why I have an easier time being unschooly with my younger dd and such a hard time with the older one.
Thanks,
Jen
________________________________
From: Jeff Sabo <freeboysdad@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, May 20, 2009 10:52:35 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Help with view point and acceptance
Jen, is your concern that it just seems odd to you, or is there a touch of "what will other people think of me as a parent if I let her go out like that?" At various times over the past 8 years, out kids (mainly the littlest guy, now 7) have gone out dressed as Jedi, Army guys, Superman, "Crazy Elf", Darth Vader, Fonzi (his latest), and a host of other hybrid mix-n-match things, with or without a plan or purpose. Of course we get stared at from time to time . . . but I've learned to ignore it by focusing on the fact that my kids are making choices to let their imaginations run wild, which means they are living freely. Like most choices they do and will make, this is not about me - it's about them, and my role is to support and enjoy.
This reply may seem simple, but - - - it sounds to me like she is having fun here, and is letting her imagination flourish. Many 6yo aren't comfy with that at all, but your little darlin' seems to be having fun with it. Sounds like an unschooling "win" to me.
--- On Mon, 5/18/09, jennifercroce37 <jennifercroce37@ yahoo.com> wrote:
From: jennifercroce37 <jennifercroce37@ yahoo.com>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Help with view point and acceptance
To: unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com
Date: Monday, May 18, 2009, 6:20 AM
I need some help with dealing with my feelings regarding how my dd looks or wants to look. She is obsessed with wanting to dye her hair red like Pipi Longstockings, she complains her ankle or wrist hurts and will wrap them in ace bandages (nothing actually wrong with them) and wants to wear make up (she is 6). I want to respect her wishes to do/wear what she wants, but I also want her to be happy with who she is and how she looks. I feel letting her change things about herself sends the message that how she naturally looks isn't good enough.
I take 15 minutes to get myself ready (shower, throw hair with beginnings of grey in a ponytail, get dressed and go). I only take longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not role modeling that to look good you need to change or add things to yourself. I remember going through a similar phase when I was a teenager.
I am concerned about her wanting to wear bandages around her ankles and wrists especially since she isn't hurt, I just find it a bit weird. As always I need help looking at it from an unschooling perspective.
Thanks,
Jen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "jennifercroce37" <jennifercroce37@...> wrote:
Think of all this as a kind of dress-up.
She's experimenting, trying out some ideas. At 6, a lot of her thought processes still happen on a very physical level. She could be playing with the sensations (colors, textures), or she could be asking "what would it be like...?"
It may not be the same kind of phase. She may not be thinking "I want to change" so much as playing with the idea of looking different than she does. That's not necessarily a sign of low self-esteem. Its natural for some people to like to adorn themselves. I adore bright colors and wear them in outrageous ways, personally. I even dye my hair fun colors like pink and green. Its fun!
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>>> I need some help with dealing with my feelings regarding how my dd looks or wants to look. She is obsessed with wanting to dye her hair red like Pipi Longstockings, she complains her ankle or wrist hurts and will wrap them in ace bandages*************************
Think of all this as a kind of dress-up.
She's experimenting, trying out some ideas. At 6, a lot of her thought processes still happen on a very physical level. She could be playing with the sensations (colors, textures), or she could be asking "what would it be like...?"
>> I only take longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not role modeling that to look good you need to change or add things to yourself. I remember going through a similar phase when I was a teenager.*******************
It may not be the same kind of phase. She may not be thinking "I want to change" so much as playing with the idea of looking different than she does. That's not necessarily a sign of low self-esteem. Its natural for some people to like to adorn themselves. I adore bright colors and wear them in outrageous ways, personally. I even dye my hair fun colors like pink and green. Its fun!
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
Debra Rossing
>> I only take longer if I am going somewhere special so I am not rolemodeling that to look good you need to change or add things to
>> yourself. I remember going through a similar phase when I was ateenager.
>Your daughter is a different person than you are. Embrace that :-)My climbing trees sports minded rough and tumble "tomboy" of a sister
has two daughters. DD#1 is very much like her mom in many ways, loves
bugs, getting dirty, etc (even now at 12 yrs old). DD#2 however is a
pretty pink princess of girlhood. There have been times when my sister
just looks on in amazement and puzzlement at how this pink princess is
somehow -her- daughter. But, she embraces that, the pink fluffy stuff,
tea parties, the lot just as she embraces worms, and lizards, and tree
climbing with her other DD. They didn't unschool or even homeschool but
my parents were a great example to us of accepting each of their
children's distinctive 'bents', preferences, traits and helping us
explore interests whether it was my brother's interest in all things
sports (he's got a degree in sports management and works at a large
arena/stadium complex); my sister's interest in art (she's got a degree
in graphic design and is working on certification to teach art); my love
of books (I work with computers fulltime now but I originally planned a
degree in library science - life happens; etc. And yeah, not every
interest leads to a 'career' (like my interest in pottery - they got me
a little electric wheel to work with when I was maybe 11 or 12 or so)
but they embraced it and accepted that it was part of each of us.
Deb R
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amberlee_b
OMgosh this is so funny! My daughter wears ponytail holders on her arm (remember Madonna in the 80s?) and sometimes it is rubber bands and she and her brother do it. The rubber bands go with the rubber band guns her brother designed and created for everyone.
My daughter has been creating characters since she was 2 years old. She came downstairs with a cowboy hat and spoke with a western accent, "Hi my name's Cheetah K and I'm a cowgirl". She had/has a very particular idea of what a cowgirl would wear and how she would be. At age 2 she could answer questions all about Cheetah K and her life. We didn't have a TV at the time so where this came from??
I could have said, "stop being silly" or " you can't wear *that* outside the house"...but I didn't. Ok the cowgirl was fairly tame....but how about an egyptian? A Middle Eastern princess? A Russian school girl? Yep all of those too. She will tie bandanas on any body part available (ankles, head, wrist, leg, waist, woven around fingers and hand) and loves to play with mixing and matching clothes. She is really into finding "Nancy Drew" outfits and has a thing for hats and jackets--oh and belts. We went to every store in the area to find her a pair of penny loafers. She now has a couple of Nancy Drew outfits as well as an entire Cheetah K outfit. She is 9 yo, btw. So it is 7 years of characters.
I have never been a "girly girl" but my dd is. She loves to dress up and do her hair. She plays with make up sometimes, and then goes out and plays tomboy--in a dress! LOL
If I had complained when she wore striped shirt with plaid skort she wouldn't still be playing around with what works for her. She has a sassy style that is very fun for her.
As for the bandages, it isn't hurting anything. I like the idea of the wrist wraps or the cute "tennis" wristbands from Claire's. If you knit or crochet there are tons of free online patterns for them too.
My daughter has been creating characters since she was 2 years old. She came downstairs with a cowboy hat and spoke with a western accent, "Hi my name's Cheetah K and I'm a cowgirl". She had/has a very particular idea of what a cowgirl would wear and how she would be. At age 2 she could answer questions all about Cheetah K and her life. We didn't have a TV at the time so where this came from??
I could have said, "stop being silly" or " you can't wear *that* outside the house"...but I didn't. Ok the cowgirl was fairly tame....but how about an egyptian? A Middle Eastern princess? A Russian school girl? Yep all of those too. She will tie bandanas on any body part available (ankles, head, wrist, leg, waist, woven around fingers and hand) and loves to play with mixing and matching clothes. She is really into finding "Nancy Drew" outfits and has a thing for hats and jackets--oh and belts. We went to every store in the area to find her a pair of penny loafers. She now has a couple of Nancy Drew outfits as well as an entire Cheetah K outfit. She is 9 yo, btw. So it is 7 years of characters.
I have never been a "girly girl" but my dd is. She loves to dress up and do her hair. She plays with make up sometimes, and then goes out and plays tomboy--in a dress! LOL
If I had complained when she wore striped shirt with plaid skort she wouldn't still be playing around with what works for her. She has a sassy style that is very fun for her.
As for the bandages, it isn't hurting anything. I like the idea of the wrist wraps or the cute "tennis" wristbands from Claire's. If you knit or crochet there are tons of free online patterns for them too.
logan_rose_porter
--- In [email protected], "jennifercroce37" <jennifercroce37@...> wrote:
If you dont like the bandages what about those sweatbands/wrist bands??? They are a fashion statement anyway and might give her a similar feeling. Just an idea...
> I am concerned about her wanting to wear bandages around her ankles and wrists especially since she isn't hurt, I just find it a bit weird. As always I need help looking at it from an unschooling perspective.As a child I thought crutches were sooo cool. Even now I dont fully know why. I used to dream of breaking my leg just so I could have the crutches :P It seemed linked to popularity somehow. Perhaps the attention that people get on crutches or cause one of the popular kids broke their leg at one stage. By chance we found a pair of crutches for $5 at a second hand furniture shop one day. My mom let me buy them and I used to use them around the house and pretend I had a cast on LOL So I guess I was weird but I turned out fine hehe
>
>
If you dont like the bandages what about those sweatbands/wrist bands??? They are a fashion statement anyway and might give her a similar feeling. Just an idea...
Meredith
--- In [email protected], Jennifer Croce <jennifercroce37@...> wrote:
When Mo would go out wearing something out of the ordinary (or her shoes on the "wrong" feet) I used to say "She dresses herself!" in a tone of such pride that there wasn't much anyone could say in reply. At some point I did start warning her that others might comment on her outfit - that's important information to Mo, who doesn't like to make conversation with random adults - that way she could decide if she wanted to wear her fun clothes in public for herself.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
> I took her over to my parents' house like that and my Dad looked at me me perplexed and said, "she has her pajamas on." I just shrugged and said, "yeah so?".**************************
When Mo would go out wearing something out of the ordinary (or her shoes on the "wrong" feet) I used to say "She dresses herself!" in a tone of such pride that there wasn't much anyone could say in reply. At some point I did start warning her that others might comment on her outfit - that's important information to Mo, who doesn't like to make conversation with random adults - that way she could decide if she wanted to wear her fun clothes in public for herself.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
juillet727
--- In [email protected], Jennifer Croce <jennifercroce37@...> wrote:
I think our society has such a "time table" for what's acceptable at certain ages. A lot of it seems related to schooly "milestones". I've become more aware, since I took Kevin out of school, of the little and big ways that I'm not "fitting in".
I know some folks think I'm too attached, that I strive to meet his wants and needs too much, that I let him be when I should be forcing him to fit into the world now. "He's going to have to learn it sometime!", they warn. As if I need to create hardship for him so he can learn how to handle it in the future. (That's like scraping his knee on purpose so he can learn how to deal with that when it actually happens.) Parents are supposed to teach adversity, as if it doesn't happen on its own. Clamping down on a kid's creativity--clothes, hair, exuberance--is sometimes like trying to fit a kid into the parent's perception of the world so the kid won't have problems in the world later, or something.
But I find when I enjoy and support Kevin's uniqueness, he has more confidence to handle the hard times. Or the times when we really do have to rein it in. I say yes almost all the time and Kevin can accept a no with a lot of ease. He never has to connive to find the yes in a situation--we look for it together...and I feel healed when I say yes, like healed for my little kid self.
~~Juillet
>I don't know why I have an easier time being unschooly with my younger dd and such a hard time with the older one.
>*****************
I think our society has such a "time table" for what's acceptable at certain ages. A lot of it seems related to schooly "milestones". I've become more aware, since I took Kevin out of school, of the little and big ways that I'm not "fitting in".
I know some folks think I'm too attached, that I strive to meet his wants and needs too much, that I let him be when I should be forcing him to fit into the world now. "He's going to have to learn it sometime!", they warn. As if I need to create hardship for him so he can learn how to handle it in the future. (That's like scraping his knee on purpose so he can learn how to deal with that when it actually happens.) Parents are supposed to teach adversity, as if it doesn't happen on its own. Clamping down on a kid's creativity--clothes, hair, exuberance--is sometimes like trying to fit a kid into the parent's perception of the world so the kid won't have problems in the world later, or something.
But I find when I enjoy and support Kevin's uniqueness, he has more confidence to handle the hard times. Or the times when we really do have to rein it in. I say yes almost all the time and Kevin can accept a no with a lot of ease. He never has to connive to find the yes in a situation--we look for it together...and I feel healed when I say yes, like healed for my little kid self.
~~Juillet
Debra Rossing
LOL DS had, at one point, 3 pairs of Crocs in different colors. He'd
decide each time he needed to wear shoes (going into a store or
restaurant for example), which combination he would wear - would it be
one red and one yellow (fire Pokemon) or one blue and one red or ... and
sometimes which foot had which color was important too. It never failed
to raise a smile on whomever actually noticed and teens particularly
thought it was "cool". There were a couple of occasions where I'd mix
and match my two pairs as well.
Deb R
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decide each time he needed to wear shoes (going into a store or
restaurant for example), which combination he would wear - would it be
one red and one yellow (fire Pokemon) or one blue and one red or ... and
sometimes which foot had which color was important too. It never failed
to raise a smile on whomever actually noticed and teens particularly
thought it was "cool". There were a couple of occasions where I'd mix
and match my two pairs as well.
Deb R
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
www.mastercam.com
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]