geeezzz
Rebecca De Hate
ok here is my frustration. myself -- I am so tired of telling myself --"tday" I will think before I speak and wham I blow like a raving lunatic (ok maybe not that bad but? or is it?) I understand I've always been high strung quick to have a tantrum (when I was a infant even-- so my mom says) and up to now. example child spills coffee I know it should and is know big deal that why i have hard wood floors right? and no big deal he pooped in his underwear? but why do I get frustrated ? inconvenient to me? god forbid he interrupted my reading!
Anyone else out there that has had to really, really work on their 'temper'? I have posted in past but I often step away for awhile. almost like I have to digest stuff , think it over and implement stuff (or not in this case) and than I'm back ready to let go, search, understand.
while I've been unschooling i've learned to say why not? say yes more. let go of old issues (like are they going to learn if not in school?? duh yeah-- full fledge belief now in learning naturally...) I catch myself faster and shut up quicker, apologize hug and thank more.
but I still haven't learned to let the temper go... I believe there are times we have a right to be angry but we can express ourselves without yelling and saying things that are just stupid. (i'm also good at blaming -- like I'm trying not to yell but your doing things to piss me off) nice huh. no got to stop this it's my problem not theirs and I've had conversations telling my boys that they are my biggest teachers and that I am learning .....
talk to me please.
Anyone else out there that has had to really, really work on their 'temper'? I have posted in past but I often step away for awhile. almost like I have to digest stuff , think it over and implement stuff (or not in this case) and than I'm back ready to let go, search, understand.
while I've been unschooling i've learned to say why not? say yes more. let go of old issues (like are they going to learn if not in school?? duh yeah-- full fledge belief now in learning naturally...) I catch myself faster and shut up quicker, apologize hug and thank more.
but I still haven't learned to let the temper go... I believe there are times we have a right to be angry but we can express ourselves without yelling and saying things that are just stupid. (i'm also good at blaming -- like I'm trying not to yell but your doing things to piss me off) nice huh. no got to stop this it's my problem not theirs and I've had conversations telling my boys that they are my biggest teachers and that I am learning .....
talk to me please.
The Coffee Goddess
Just an idea....Have you had your thyroid levels tested? Also, blood sugar? I have thyroid issues and blood sugar issues, and when I find myself being over-the-top angry it is usually a chemical issue inside of me. Just an idea, but it makes a world of difference...
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dana
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Oh Yeah I hear you. I am just like that.
I work EVERYDAY at not reacting to stuff that way.
A few things to look for that can make it worse or help:
* hunger- make sure to get some protein to keep blood sugar stable
* tired
*take deep breaths- or walk away and calm down
* make sure you diet is good- some Omega oils and Folic acid help tons to mental health
* exercise helps wonders for me
Those are basic self care actions you can take.
Everyday I think about what I could have done better. I apologize to my kids a lot. I leave the guilt behind as much as I can because it does not help me.
Make a decision TODAY that you will not react that way and just do it. Sounds simple but it has worked for me big time ( thanks to my friends Schuyler who I talked about it ).
Being angry is OK, screaming and saying thinks you regret another.
If you need to walk away to calm down do so. Tell you child you need to calm down and you are there if he needs you.
I know more people will have other great ideas to help.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I work EVERYDAY at not reacting to stuff that way.
A few things to look for that can make it worse or help:
* hunger- make sure to get some protein to keep blood sugar stable
* tired
*take deep breaths- or walk away and calm down
* make sure you diet is good- some Omega oils and Folic acid help tons to mental health
* exercise helps wonders for me
Those are basic self care actions you can take.
Everyday I think about what I could have done better. I apologize to my kids a lot. I leave the guilt behind as much as I can because it does not help me.
Make a decision TODAY that you will not react that way and just do it. Sounds simple but it has worked for me big time ( thanks to my friends Schuyler who I talked about it ).
Being angry is OK, screaming and saying thinks you regret another.
If you need to walk away to calm down do so. Tell you child you need to calm down and you are there if he needs you.
I know more people will have other great ideas to help.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Rebecca De Hate
--- In [email protected], The Coffee Goddess <hoffmanwilson@...> wrote:
>
> Just an idea....Have you had your thyroid levels tested? Also, blood sugar? I have thyroid issues and blood sugar issues, and when I find myself being over-the-top angry it is usually a chemical issue inside of me. Just an idea, but it makes a world of difference...
>
> Dana
>
>
>
> Really never thought it might be anything 'medical'. more than willing to look into that.
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
diana jenner
I invited Sandra Dodd's voice to live in my head for just those VERY
moments!
My regular advice seems to be recycled pieces from Parenting Peacefully. I
invested 7$ for the cassette many years ago & it's been the best investment
I've ever made :D Now you can listen for free!!
http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully
You can play it directly from this page & you can download for portable
listening. (it's at the bottom of the page, after my testimonial!)
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
moments!
My regular advice seems to be recycled pieces from Parenting Peacefully. I
invested 7$ for the cassette many years ago & it's been the best investment
I've ever made :D Now you can listen for free!!
http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully
You can play it directly from this page & you can download for portable
listening. (it's at the bottom of the page, after my testimonial!)
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Faith Void
I always hear Kelly and Pam! :-)
People generally default back to the way they were socialized when
extremely stressed. I have the same issue. When stressed I tend to
grab the most tried and true tool from my box. Screaming, yelling,
tantruming...
What I have done to allievate the need to default is to catch myself
before I get too worked up. I started to notice my triggers. Have you
read The Explosive Child? That has some ideas on how to do it with
children, I just apply it to me! Also remember:
H- hungry
A- angry
L- lonely, needing attention
T- tired or thirsty
This will help with a lot of out bursts. Another way is to build you
tool collection. Build it full of beautiful loving tools. Listen to
audio of cons like Diana suggested, read insightful books which are
listed in a database on the unschooling basics site, read Sandra and
Joyces pages and hang up inspirational stuff around the house.
Instead of saying I'll never tantrum again think about what othertools
you have, I will use XYZ instead of yelling next time. Have game plans
in line for common mishaps such as spills.
Move on. Guilt and feeling like crap about your learning takes are not
going to solve the issue, thank yourself and your child for this
opportunity to know yourself deeper ave become a better person. Love
your child, apologize, learn from your mistakes and move on. When I
started doing that my daughter thanked me. She said the depression
that followed my tantrums were worse than anything I said or did.
Faith
Sent from my iPhone
People generally default back to the way they were socialized when
extremely stressed. I have the same issue. When stressed I tend to
grab the most tried and true tool from my box. Screaming, yelling,
tantruming...
What I have done to allievate the need to default is to catch myself
before I get too worked up. I started to notice my triggers. Have you
read The Explosive Child? That has some ideas on how to do it with
children, I just apply it to me! Also remember:
H- hungry
A- angry
L- lonely, needing attention
T- tired or thirsty
This will help with a lot of out bursts. Another way is to build you
tool collection. Build it full of beautiful loving tools. Listen to
audio of cons like Diana suggested, read insightful books which are
listed in a database on the unschooling basics site, read Sandra and
Joyces pages and hang up inspirational stuff around the house.
Instead of saying I'll never tantrum again think about what othertools
you have, I will use XYZ instead of yelling next time. Have game plans
in line for common mishaps such as spills.
Move on. Guilt and feeling like crap about your learning takes are not
going to solve the issue, thank yourself and your child for this
opportunity to know yourself deeper ave become a better person. Love
your child, apologize, learn from your mistakes and move on. When I
started doing that my daughter thanked me. She said the depression
that followed my tantrums were worse than anything I said or did.
Faith
Sent from my iPhone
On May 18, 2009, at 1:42 PM, diana jenner <hahamommy@...> wrote:
>
>
> I invited Sandra Dodd's voice to live in my head for just those VERY
> moments!
> My regular advice seems to be recycled pieces from Parenting
> Peacefully. I
> invested 7$ for the cassette many years ago & it's been the best
> investment
> I've ever made :D Now you can listen for free!!
> http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully
> You can play it directly from this page & you can download for
> portable
> listening. (it's at the bottom of the page, after my testimonial!)
> ~diana :)
> xoxoxoxo
> hannahbearski.blogspot.com
> hannahsashes.blogspot.com
> dianas365.blogspot.com
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Faith Void
One of my best investments was the audio of Diana's talk on
perspectives.
Faith
Sent from my iPhone
perspectives.
Faith
Sent from my iPhone
On May 18, 2009, at 1:42 PM, diana jenner <hahamommy@...> wrote:
>
>
> I invited Sandra Dodd's voice to live in my head for just those VERY
> moments!
> My regular advice seems to be recycled pieces from Parenting
> Peacefully. I
> invested 7$ for the cassette many years ago & it's been the best
> investment
> I've ever made :D Now you can listen for free!!
> http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully
> You can play it directly from this page & you can download for
> portable
> listening. (it's at the bottom of the page, after my testimonial!)
> ~diana :)
> xoxoxoxo
> hannahbearski.blogspot.com
> hannahsashes.blogspot.com
> dianas365.blogspot.com
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Krest
I am working on that right now, the temper thing. I remember as a kid being fairly quick to anger and frustration, saw it modeled at home :).
Now, as an adult, I see it affecting my relations with the world at large, and I have gotten tired of it. A friend recommended a book Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh. I found it very revealing, enlightening, and changing. YMMV : )
Robin K.
____________________________________________________________
Click here to find the right stock, bonds, and mutual funds.
http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL2141/fc/BLSrjpTFOGeFJ818gDBBLMt4YUbNUZgxct7xHX0SLcX6dlewVqYjL4wghyg/
Now, as an adult, I see it affecting my relations with the world at large, and I have gotten tired of it. A friend recommended a book Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh. I found it very revealing, enlightening, and changing. YMMV : )
Robin K.
____________________________________________________________
Click here to find the right stock, bonds, and mutual funds.
http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL2141/fc/BLSrjpTFOGeFJ818gDBBLMt4YUbNUZgxct7xHX0SLcX6dlewVqYjL4wghyg/
Debra Rossing
LOL I don't have just one voice in my head - I try to 'explain' the
situation to the lot of you. If it comes out like a long and garbled
post, something is amiss and needs looking at because that's when I'm
usually trying to defend or justify my position/actions/reactions rather
than stepping back, taking a breath, and seeing the situation calmly
(like when the fridge door fell off this morning - got a call from DH
just after I got to work to tell me that - boy is it a Monday! But, it
can be replaced, the door can 'sit' there to keep the cold in (even
though it takes two to get anything out of the fridge!), and no one was
injured in the process - that could have happened last night when DS
went to get some cheddar out at 1 am when DH and I were already asleep
and that would have been SERIOUS! As it is, the new one arrives
tomorrow, we have a good chuckle over the old thing, and we're having
freshly made bagels with homemade cream cheese for dinner tonight!)
Deb R
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
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This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
situation to the lot of you. If it comes out like a long and garbled
post, something is amiss and needs looking at because that's when I'm
usually trying to defend or justify my position/actions/reactions rather
than stepping back, taking a breath, and seeing the situation calmly
(like when the fridge door fell off this morning - got a call from DH
just after I got to work to tell me that - boy is it a Monday! But, it
can be replaced, the door can 'sit' there to keep the cold in (even
though it takes two to get anything out of the fridge!), and no one was
injured in the process - that could have happened last night when DS
went to get some cheddar out at 1 am when DH and I were already asleep
and that would have been SERIOUS! As it is, the new one arrives
tomorrow, we have a good chuckle over the old thing, and we're having
freshly made bagels with homemade cream cheese for dinner tonight!)
Deb R
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "Rebecca De Hate" <rebeccadehate@...> wrote:
It helps to focus on the positive whenever you can. You're growing, that's wonderful! It takes time and work to break old habits and build new ones.
I used to blow up pretty easily. Now, not so much, and I've learned to do it in ways that aren't as scary to the people I love. It wasn't an instant change, though. I floundered my way from yelling, to stopping in the middle of yelling and apologising, to rarely yelling (and stopping in the middle and apologising).
Something that helps me get through any kind of transitional process like that is to remind myself of what my typical process "looks like". I'm going to get stuck over and over - that's part of my process. Remembering that helps me relax a little and trust the process itself. Relaxing helps me not get stuck quite so often, which helps me have more confidence, which helps me get stuck even less... until I get to the point of looking back and saying "hey, I haven't had that problem in awhile, cool."
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>> while I've been unschooling i've learned to say why not? say yes more. let go of old issues (like are they going to learn if not in school?? duh yeah-- full fledge belief now in learning naturally...) I catch myself faster and shut up quicker, apologize hug and thank more.**************************
It helps to focus on the positive whenever you can. You're growing, that's wonderful! It takes time and work to break old habits and build new ones.
I used to blow up pretty easily. Now, not so much, and I've learned to do it in ways that aren't as scary to the people I love. It wasn't an instant change, though. I floundered my way from yelling, to stopping in the middle of yelling and apologising, to rarely yelling (and stopping in the middle and apologising).
Something that helps me get through any kind of transitional process like that is to remind myself of what my typical process "looks like". I'm going to get stuck over and over - that's part of my process. Remembering that helps me relax a little and trust the process itself. Relaxing helps me not get stuck quite so often, which helps me have more confidence, which helps me get stuck even less... until I get to the point of looking back and saying "hey, I haven't had that problem in awhile, cool."
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
rebecca de
i almost picked that book up at the bookstore last time i went:)
--- On Mon, 5/18/09, Robin Krest <rlkrest@...> wrote:
From: Robin Krest <rlkrest@...>
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] geeezzz
To: [email protected]
Date: Monday, May 18, 2009, 5:13 PM
I am working on that right now, the temper thing. I remember as a kid being fairly quick to anger and frustration, saw it modeled at home :).
Now, as an adult, I see it affecting my relations with the world at large, and I have gotten tired of it. A friend recommended a book Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh. I found it very revealing, enlightening, and changing. YMMV : )
Robin K.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Click here to find the right stock, bonds, and mutual funds.
http://thirdpartyof fers.juno. com/TGL2141/ fc/BLSrjpTFOGeFJ 818gDBBLMt4YUbNU Zgxct7xHX0SLcX6d lewVqYjL4wghyg/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Amanda Mayan
This may be a weird analogy, but when I practiced EC with my daughter, it
was more about training myself to tune in than about training her I at times
used a 30 minute timer to remind myself to offer her a pee. Maybe you could
do the same for yourself use a cell phone timer or digital watch or minute
timer or whatever, but something that can always be with you. Set it to go
off in very short intervals, and when it does remind yourself to breathe,
that whatever happens in the next time period will be no big deal, ect after
a week or 2 of 30 minute intervals, it may just become second nature?
Another thing, my daughter (2 ½) says sh!t in perfect context learned from
me of course. When I realized what was going on I immediately replaced all
of my expletives with no big deal It took some work on my part, but I
didnt really want her running around and cussing her cussing is much
improved, now she mostly says no big deal too, but the unanticipated side
effect was that I was constantly reminding myself (out loud) that most of
the things that frustrated me were no big deal. Really removed a lot of
stress (I didnt even realize I was experiencing) from my day!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
was more about training myself to tune in than about training her I at times
used a 30 minute timer to remind myself to offer her a pee. Maybe you could
do the same for yourself use a cell phone timer or digital watch or minute
timer or whatever, but something that can always be with you. Set it to go
off in very short intervals, and when it does remind yourself to breathe,
that whatever happens in the next time period will be no big deal, ect after
a week or 2 of 30 minute intervals, it may just become second nature?
Another thing, my daughter (2 ½) says sh!t in perfect context learned from
me of course. When I realized what was going on I immediately replaced all
of my expletives with no big deal It took some work on my part, but I
didnt really want her running around and cussing her cussing is much
improved, now she mostly says no big deal too, but the unanticipated side
effect was that I was constantly reminding myself (out loud) that most of
the things that frustrated me were no big deal. Really removed a lot of
stress (I didnt even realize I was experiencing) from my day!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jennifer Croce
From: Robin Krest <rlkrest@juno. com>
< I am working on that right now, the temper thing. I remember as a kid being fairly quick to anger and frustration, saw it modeled at home :). >
I have been acutely aware of this myself lately. It helps me to see where I got these behaviors but they are hard to change. When you don't know how to behave differently it fuels the frustrations which fuels the anger. I am so grateful that I stumbled upon unschooling and this list. I desperately hope to break the "Mommy Dearest" cycle, I don't want my girls to treat their children this way.
Jen
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
< I am working on that right now, the temper thing. I remember as a kid being fairly quick to anger and frustration, saw it modeled at home :). >
I have been acutely aware of this myself lately. It helps me to see where I got these behaviors but they are hard to change. When you don't know how to behave differently it fuels the frustrations which fuels the anger. I am so grateful that I stumbled upon unschooling and this list. I desperately hope to break the "Mommy Dearest" cycle, I don't want my girls to treat their children this way.
Jen
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Krest
They _ARE_ hard to change, because you have had these habits for years and years. I would guess I have been angry and irritated for nigh on 25 years...and that will not change overnight. Just like deschooling takes a while, so does breaking and re-establishing a new habit.
That is where Thich Naht Hahn's book came in for me. It helped me realize what my instant reactions are, how they hurt me _and_ others, and gave me techniques to use to create a new reaction, one of peace, compassion, and understanding.
And I am still working on it, as I suspect I will be every day of my life.
I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight...I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence. -Thich Naht Hahn
Robin Krest
---------- Original Message ----------
From: Jennifer Croce <jennifercroce37@...>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] breaking the anger cycle
Date: Tue, 19 May 2009 06:59:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Robin Krest <rlkrest@juno. com>
< I am working on that right now, the temper thing. I remember as a kid being fairly quick to anger and frustration, saw it modeled at home :). >
I have been acutely aware of this myself lately. It helps me to see where I got these behaviors but they are hard to change. When you don't know how to behave differently it fuels the frustrations which fuels the anger. I am so grateful that I stumbled upon unschooling and this list. I desperately hope to break the "Mommy Dearest" cycle, I don't want my girls to treat their children this way.
Jen
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
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Click here for free information on starting a business from your home.
http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL2141/fc/BLSrjpTEI0utptvtQiyORfARz6FEDqWlFsV3DW2inEftsC3tTh6pAGkgsus/
That is where Thich Naht Hahn's book came in for me. It helped me realize what my instant reactions are, how they hurt me _and_ others, and gave me techniques to use to create a new reaction, one of peace, compassion, and understanding.
And I am still working on it, as I suspect I will be every day of my life.
I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight...I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence. -Thich Naht Hahn
Robin Krest
---------- Original Message ----------
From: Jennifer Croce <jennifercroce37@...>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] breaking the anger cycle
Date: Tue, 19 May 2009 06:59:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Robin Krest <rlkrest@juno. com>
< I am working on that right now, the temper thing. I remember as a kid being fairly quick to anger and frustration, saw it modeled at home :). >
I have been acutely aware of this myself lately. It helps me to see where I got these behaviors but they are hard to change. When you don't know how to behave differently it fuels the frustrations which fuels the anger. I am so grateful that I stumbled upon unschooling and this list. I desperately hope to break the "Mommy Dearest" cycle, I don't want my girls to treat their children this way.
Jen
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
____________________________________________________________
Click here for free information on starting a business from your home.
http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL2141/fc/BLSrjpTEI0utptvtQiyORfARz6FEDqWlFsV3DW2inEftsC3tTh6pAGkgsus/
rebecca de
sounds good.
--- On Mon, 5/18/09, Amanda Mayan <amanda@...> wrote:
From: Amanda Mayan <amanda@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: geeezzz
To: [email protected]
Date: Monday, May 18, 2009, 10:04 PM
This may be a weird analogy, but when I practiced EC with my daughter, it
was more about training myself to tune in than about training her…I at times
used a 30 minute timer to remind myself to offer her a pee. Maybe you could
do the same for yourself…use a cell phone timer or digital watch or minute
timer or whatever, but something that can always be with you. Set it to go
off in very short intervals, and when it does remind yourself to breathe,
that whatever happens in the next time period will be no big deal, ect…after
a week or 2 of 30 minute intervals, it may just become second nature?
Another thing, my daughter (2 ½) says “sh!t” in perfect context…learned from
me of course. When I realized what was going on…I immediately replaced all
of my expletives with “no big deal” It took some work on my part, but I
didn’t really want her running around and cussing…her cussing is much
improved, now she mostly says “no big deal” too, but the unanticipated side
effect was that I was constantly reminding myself (out loud) that most of
the things that frustrated me were no big deal. Really removed a lot of
stress (I didn’t even realize I was experiencing) from my day!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Bekki Kirby
Very timely.... LOL... I really, really, really need to retrain my
mouth. I've been cussing more and more, and it really DOES escalate
whatever situation. I've learned this recently. If I can shut myself
up... if I can NOT whine/complain/worst of all yell... I feel better
about things. I feel 20 times more angry or upset or stressed if I
"let it out." I used to believe wholeheartedly that bottling up
feelings would make me explode. That I had to let them out. But it's
not true. If I grumble and bitch about something, it's as if I feel
like I *have* to be cranky about it longer... I have to justify what I
just said... have to live up to it. I hope that makes sense, because
I'm also having a really hard time lately with choosing the correct
words to describe what I mean. Apparently I just shouldn't be saying
much at all. :-) Take a temporary vow of silence. LOL Maybe I'll
get my brain back when I get to my second trimester.
But, anyway, yeah... my four year old uses variations of "f*ck" sooooo
much. Because I do. And it really upsets me to hear it coming from
him, for some reason, so I'm trying to watch my mouth. I didn't know
what to say instead, though. "No big deal" seems like an EXCELLENT
choice.
Bekki
--
”Do not ask what the world needs. Instead, ask what makes you come
alive. Because what the world needs is more people who have come
alive.”
--Thurmond Whitman
Mother of four angels, two pirates, and one TBD
Kayla (10)
Hunter (b. 8/9/03, d. 8/22/03)
Jo (misc 1/15/04)
Jared (4)
Camelia (b. 12/16/07, d. 12/10/07)
Hope/Chance (misc 11/25/08)
Someone due 1/8/10, but probably arriving 12/09
mouth. I've been cussing more and more, and it really DOES escalate
whatever situation. I've learned this recently. If I can shut myself
up... if I can NOT whine/complain/worst of all yell... I feel better
about things. I feel 20 times more angry or upset or stressed if I
"let it out." I used to believe wholeheartedly that bottling up
feelings would make me explode. That I had to let them out. But it's
not true. If I grumble and bitch about something, it's as if I feel
like I *have* to be cranky about it longer... I have to justify what I
just said... have to live up to it. I hope that makes sense, because
I'm also having a really hard time lately with choosing the correct
words to describe what I mean. Apparently I just shouldn't be saying
much at all. :-) Take a temporary vow of silence. LOL Maybe I'll
get my brain back when I get to my second trimester.
But, anyway, yeah... my four year old uses variations of "f*ck" sooooo
much. Because I do. And it really upsets me to hear it coming from
him, for some reason, so I'm trying to watch my mouth. I didn't know
what to say instead, though. "No big deal" seems like an EXCELLENT
choice.
Bekki
--
”Do not ask what the world needs. Instead, ask what makes you come
alive. Because what the world needs is more people who have come
alive.”
--Thurmond Whitman
Mother of four angels, two pirates, and one TBD
Kayla (10)
Hunter (b. 8/9/03, d. 8/22/03)
Jo (misc 1/15/04)
Jared (4)
Camelia (b. 12/16/07, d. 12/10/07)
Hope/Chance (misc 11/25/08)
Someone due 1/8/10, but probably arriving 12/09
rebecca de
so there's yet another bitchy 'becky' bothered by her own banter --- LOL we are not alone. I don't know where I read a story lately but the main jist was to say "this is good" when things seem not so. IT WORKS> the other day I was getting flustered because I was cleaning dishes not mine and other stuff and when I said these words a few times I felt relaxed and dismissed the 'anger'. Now I just need to work a little harder when I'm trying to do something and 3 year old insists on bestering and he really just needs to leave me alone for a couple ??!! I bet if I just gave him the few minutes and whispered "this is good" to myself and him we would both be ok. (but if I sit down with him I'll fall asleep too -- lol).
--- On Thu, 5/21/09, Bekki Kirby <junegoddess@...> wrote:
> From: Bekki Kirby <junegoddess@...>
> Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: geeezzz
> To: [email protected]
> Date: Thursday, May 21, 2009, 10:01 AM
> Very timely.... LOL... I really,
> really, really need to retrain my
> mouth. I've been cussing more and more, and it really
> DOES escalate
> whatever situation. I've learned this recently.
> If I can shut myself
> up... if I can NOT whine/complain/worst of all yell... I
> feel better
> about things. I feel 20 times more angry or upset or
> stressed if I
> "let it out." I used to believe wholeheartedly that
> bottling up
> feelings would make me explode. That I had to let
> them out. But it's
> not true. If I grumble and bitch about something,
> it's as if I feel
> like I *have* to be cranky about it longer... I have to
> justify what I
> just said... have to live up to it. I hope that makes
> sense, because
> I'm also having a really hard time lately with choosing the
> correct
> words to describe what I mean. Apparently I just
> shouldn't be saying
> much at all. :-) Take a temporary vow of
> silence. LOL Maybe I'll
> get my brain back when I get to my second trimester.
>
> But, anyway, yeah... my four year old uses variations of
> "f*ck" sooooo
> much. Because I do. And it really upsets me to
> hear it coming from
> him, for some reason, so I'm trying to watch my
> mouth. I didn't know
> what to say instead, though. "No big deal" seems like
> an EXCELLENT
> choice.
>
> Bekki
> --
> ”Do not ask what the world needs. Instead, ask what makes
> you come
> alive. Because what the world needs is more people who have
> come
> alive.”
>
> --Thurmond Whitman
>
> Mother of four angels, two pirates, and one TBD
> Kayla (10)
> Hunter (b. 8/9/03, d. 8/22/03)
> Jo (misc 1/15/04)
> Jared (4)
> Camelia (b. 12/16/07, d. 12/10/07)
> Hope/Chance (misc 11/25/08)
> Someone due 1/8/10, but probably arriving 12/09
>
>
> ------------------------------------
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