sistergoddesselli

Hello everyone -

I've been loosely following the recent flurry of posts about being ready to un-school. I remember, just six months ago, sitting in the hallway at my daughter's school. We had just left the guidance counselor's office, where we were told that Sophia should toughen up, teasing was just going to get worse next year in middle school.

There I sat, on a bench by the front door, with my beautiful 11-year-old daughter clinging to me like I was her life boat and she were in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks. My bright beautiful girl had never been clingy before in her life.

We'd been trying to figure out how to deal with all of the teasing and bullying at school, and we had come to the end of the line. I sat there and thought to myself, if I were to make her go back into the classroom and be near that kid who was teasing her and bullying her, then I would be teaching her to live with her abuser. Now, I know that the kid who was teasing her was in over his head, all kids are in school - too many kids, too few parents. But, from Sophia's point of view, sending her back into that classroom would be teaching her something I NEVER want her to learn - suffer abuse - NO WAY.

So, I sat there with her.

I breathed.

I looked.

I looked at the kids and the teacher, the windows and the sun light shinning onto the polished floors.

I looked at the front door.

And, I thought to myself, I can walk out of here with her and never come back.

I can home-school.

And, so, the week before winter vacation started and without having said a thing to my husband, I walked out of the city's best elementary school with my daughter and began our homeschooling adventure.

That afternoon, I picked up my son from the same school. I shared my plans with him and asked if he'd like to join us in homeschooling. And, over the course of the week, he came to the decision to home-school too.

We then discovered un-schooling two months later - and I am ever so grateful. This approach is helping to heal relationships that were damaged over the past several years.

In the midst of the first month of unschooling my husband broke down - Elli, this feels so crazy. Elli, you can't work and I need you to make money. Elli, we've got the family bed in our room again.

I listened to his fear, let him rage, and again, I breathed.

I held to my truths - that un-schooling is delicious beyond belief, that my kids and I crave time together and that this was the best thing for all of us, that we had things to recover from and things to discover together, that we needed to slow down, that the Universe would deliver.

I can tell you, though, that it felt to me like I was on the top floor of a skyscraper and I had decided the best move next was to open a window and walk out onto the mist.

I am so glad that I listened to my heart and not my head!!!

Love,

Elli
Mistwalker

debathome58

Hi Elli,

I've never posted here before, and don't even find time to read this group often (too many groups, not enough time), but I read your post and felt the need to reply.

Welcome to unschooling. It's wonderful! Enjoy your time with your children. It's wonderful to know them (and their friends) in a way that most schooling parents never do.

Debbie, longtime home then un schooling mother of two teenage girls


--- In [email protected], "sistergoddesselli" <elinorsparks@...> wrote:
>
> Hello everyone -
>
> I've been loosely following the recent flurry of posts about being ready to un-school. I remember, just six months ago, sitting in the hallway at my daughter's school. We had just left the guidance counselor's office, where we were told that Sophia should toughen up, teasing was just going to get worse next year in middle school.
>
> There I sat, on a bench by the front door, with my beautiful 11-year-old daughter clinging to me like I was her life boat and she were in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks. My bright beautiful girl had never been clingy before in her life.
>
> We'd been trying to figure out how to deal with all of the teasing and bullying at school, and we had come to the end of the line. I sat there and thought to myself, if I were to make her go back into the classroom and be near that kid who was teasing her and bullying her, then I would be teaching her to live with her abuser. Now, I know that the kid who was teasing her was in over his head, all kids are in school - too many kids, too few parents. But, from Sophia's point of view, sending her back into that classroom would be teaching her something I NEVER want her to learn - suffer abuse - NO WAY.
>
> So, I sat there with her.
>
> I breathed.
>
> I looked.
>
> I looked at the kids and the teacher, the windows and the sun light shinning onto the polished floors.
>
> I looked at the front door.
>
> And, I thought to myself, I can walk out of here with her and never come back.
>
> I can home-school.
>
> And, so, the week before winter vacation started and without having said a thing to my husband, I walked out of the city's best elementary school with my daughter and began our homeschooling adventure.
>
> That afternoon, I picked up my son from the same school. I shared my plans with him and asked if he'd like to join us in homeschooling. And, over the course of the week, he came to the decision to home-school too.
>
> We then discovered un-schooling two months later - and I am ever so grateful. This approach is helping to heal relationships that were damaged over the past several years.
>
> In the midst of the first month of unschooling my husband broke down - Elli, this feels so crazy. Elli, you can't work and I need you to make money. Elli, we've got the family bed in our room again.
>
> I listened to his fear, let him rage, and again, I breathed.
>
> I held to my truths - that un-schooling is delicious beyond belief, that my kids and I crave time together and that this was the best thing for all of us, that we had things to recover from and things to discover together, that we needed to slow down, that the Universe would deliver.
>
> I can tell you, though, that it felt to me like I was on the top floor of a skyscraper and I had decided the best move next was to open a window and walk out onto the mist.
>
> I am so glad that I listened to my heart and not my head!!!
>
> Love,
>
> Elli
> Mistwalker
>

Ren Allen

> So, I sat there with her.
>
> I breathed.
>
> I looked.
>
> I looked at the kids and the teacher, the windows and the sun light shinning onto the polished floors.
>
> I looked at the front door.
>
> And, I thought to myself, I can walk out of here with her and never come back.
>
> I can home-school.
>
>


Your whole post was really beautiful Elli.

Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com

[email protected]

Congratulations on taking that first step, Elli. It isn't easy. But how lucky your children are! :)

Nance


--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen" <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
>
>
> > So, I sat there with her.
> >
> > I breathed.
> >
> > I looked.
> >
> > I looked at the kids and the teacher, the windows and the sun light shinning onto the polished floors.
> >
> > I looked at the front door.
> >
> > And, I thought to myself, I can walk out of here with her and never come back.
> >
> > I can home-school.
> >
> >
>
>
> Your whole post was really beautiful Elli.
>
> Ren
> radicalunschooling.blogspot.com
>

Bekki Kirby

> We'd been trying to figure out how to deal with all of the teasing and bullying at school, and we had come to the end of the line. I sat there and thought to myself, if I were to make her go back into the classroom and be near that kid who was teasing her and bullying her, then I would be teaching her to live with her abuser. Now, I know that the kid who was teasing her was in over his head, all kids are in school - too many kids, too few parents. But, from Sophia's point of view, sending her back into that classroom would be teaching her something I NEVER want her to learn - suffer abuse - NO WAY.


Wow... that really gave me goosebumps. I tend toward the
overprotective mamabear... and especially when there's a threat of
abuse or bullying. I can easily imagine how I'd feel in that
situation, and you're right... walking out the door is the healthiest,
best option!!

Congratulations! Especially for being able to listen to your
husband's fears and not become fearful or angry yourself. My husband
is not really on board with unschooling, but let's me have my way.
Our relationship needs a lot work, and on my side I need to listen
better... and not get defensive. Thanks for reminding me!

Bekki

Debra Rossing

It's like when Indiana Jones comes to a spot (Last Crusade) when it
looks like he has to walk across air to reach the goal...then he finds
out that there IS a path there, it just takes a change of perspective to
see it - he has to take that first step trusting that there's a path and
sure enough there it is. (and folks posting from across the bridge are
trying to toss sand and gravel back so that those coming after can see
that there is a bridge even if it doesn't look like it all the time)

Deb R


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JJ Ross

Wild analogy! ;-)

And then sometimes we get accused of throwing the sand and gravel AT them . . .

In [email protected], "Debra Rossing" <debra.rossing@...> wrote:
>
> It's like when Indiana Jones comes to a spot (Last Crusade) when it
> looks like he has to walk across air to reach the goal...then he finds
> out that there IS a path there, it just takes a change of perspective to
> see it - he has to take that first step trusting that there's a path and
> sure enough there it is. (and folks posting from across the bridge are
> trying to toss sand and gravel back so that those coming after can see
> that there is a bridge even if it doesn't look like it all the time)
>
> Deb R
>
>

>