rebecca de

Thank you for this -- even though I'm not the originator of this whole discussion I have benefited from it!!  I work and I have often felt that I couldn't unschool because of it but the work I do would make it work.  make sense.  my hours are flexible and actually having my child in school I see him much less... sooo Yes, we can look past adversity.

--- On Sat, 5/16/09, Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:

From: Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Realization that unschooling isn't possible right now
To: [email protected]
Date: Saturday, May 16, 2009, 10:17 AM

















~~I guess you are right, I'm not in a place to do this right now. Thanks for the insight and analogy, it made it quite clear we aren't cut out for this right now.~~



I wouldn't decide that.

Many of us here, started out with less than ideal circumstances. Most of us (I would guess) are still unlearning some of those old tapes in our heads. Some of us have just had more time to fully ingest and analyze the way we were raised, our reactions and thoughts, the ideas that get in the way of joyful connections.



I work 30 hours per week right now, that's less than "ideal" in many ways. But it is what we choose for the moment, as the best option for our family. Unschooling can flourish in a number of less than "ideal" situations if we are able to be creative and think hard about how to partner with our children.



If I went to a hairdresser that tried to talk my kid out of the hair they wanted and refused to do color, I'd say "no thanks" and walk right out. It takes a while to realize how society treats children as lesser beings, but the more you awaken to that reality, the better an advocate you can be for them.



Being an advocate for your child and partnering with them can be a focus whether unschooling happens or not. If a child wants to leave school though, you need to find a way to make it happen as fast as possible if you are to take her needs seriously.



The only situations I can think of in which leaving school is not an option, is if social services is involved or if there is an ex who is causing problems. Other issues are usually pretty easy to deal with and we could give you ideas about how to make it happen.



Keep on trying to look directly at your children and connecting with them. As you do this and learn to trust their inclinations, unschooling can begin to unfold, even when life isn't perfect.:) But when is it? Perfection can be found in the imperfect moments...so hang in there.



Ren

radicalunschooling. blogspot. com































[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

JJ Ross

I don't post often but I wanted to say we're lucky to have Ren. I'm sorry she read my two attempts this week (to reach someone I thought was worth the trouble and perhaps could be reached to the benefit of her family) as "wild analogies." I didn't respond to Jennifer's first or fifth or tenth post as I recall but finally I felt strongly enough to craft a couple of "wild analologies" I hoped could help her heat unschooling basics in a way that would matter to her, make a difference, be that moment when something clicks.

We've been unschooling a couple of decades but the truth is that the most experienced unschooling parent is like every mom in this way: we all do the best we can, and it's not always understood much less appreciated . . .

Ren Allen

~~I didn't respond to Jennifer's first or fifth or tenth post as I recall but finally I felt strongly enough to craft a couple of "wild analologies" ~~


The part I was referring to specifically is a dog locked away. Leaving a child's room as a safe space for them can hardly be compared to locking a dog away. I do understand the point you were making, and I appreciate your posts very much! I also understand how that would be a difficult analogy for a new member to digest.

Carry on....

Reminder to everyone who seems to be getting upset at the tone of posts...you have free will to choose what you share here. In the list guidelines it states very specifically that if you post something, it is open for discussion.

None of us control anything but ourselves. If you don't like someone's advice/post, simply move on. There is a smorgasbord of ideas and writings here to choose from. Complaining about the writing is poor form. Taking what works for you is always best...with anything in life.

Ren
radicalunschooling.blogspot.com

JJ Ross

:)


>
I do understand the point you were making, and I appreciate your posts very much! I also understand how that would be a difficult analogy for a new member to digest.
>
> Carry on....
>

Julie Osborne & Luke Barnes

I've got to say that as a lurker and always trying to be an unschooler I
loooovvvve the honesty that Ren puts forth....it always makes me look
within, analyse my own thoughts and words.....the straighter the better
I think. If I don't like what Ren says it is usually because it has hit
a nerve, triggered something in me I really need to look at to move
forward. I love this place!
Julie
always learnining and getting closer daily thanksto you all!