Different needs - routine and spontaneity
cfhthinks
I've been reading group digests for the last week or so. Your answers to people's questions have been so thought-provoking; can you help with mine?
I have three kids. My 13 and 8yo are at home, and my 10yo - with high functioning autism - is at a small private special needs school, which he's really happy with. We're exploring high school options, one of which is bringing him home.
Just to clarify, high school here in Australia starts in Year 7; we would need to find a new school as his only caters for primary (up to and including Year 6).
My question is how could I implement my son's genuine need for routine - a map of the day - with my other kids' default position of spontaneity?
Cheers
Cath
I have three kids. My 13 and 8yo are at home, and my 10yo - with high functioning autism - is at a small private special needs school, which he's really happy with. We're exploring high school options, one of which is bringing him home.
Just to clarify, high school here in Australia starts in Year 7; we would need to find a new school as his only caters for primary (up to and including Year 6).
My question is how could I implement my son's genuine need for routine - a map of the day - with my other kids' default position of spontaneity?
Cheers
Cath
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "cfhthinks" <cfhthinks@...> wrote:
I suspect you'd have to alter your own routine to some extent to facilitate your son's, and maybe do some rearranging in the home, but given their ages, your other kids could likely still be spontaneous *around* him, as long as you can help him feel secure.
When Ray was younger he needed a lot of predictiblity in his life. We were careful to serve meals at specific times, although food was available all the time, too. For Ray it was also important that the things he needed and wanted be put back in The Right Place - or he honestly couldn't find them. One morning we discovered he hadn't eaten breakfast bc he couldn't find the cereal - the box was on the table, rather than in its place on the shelf. So we got really careful about putting things Back, and separating out food for Ray on a special shelf that others were asked not to use at all.
At the time we were living communally, so there was a lot of spontaneous behavior going on ;) That made it all the more important for Ray that his own needs were taken care of the way he needed them to be. When that happened, he was able to deal with the ebb and flow of others' lives around him without much stress.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>> My question is how could I implement my son's genuine need for routine - a map of the day - with my other kids' default position of spontaneity?**********************
I suspect you'd have to alter your own routine to some extent to facilitate your son's, and maybe do some rearranging in the home, but given their ages, your other kids could likely still be spontaneous *around* him, as long as you can help him feel secure.
When Ray was younger he needed a lot of predictiblity in his life. We were careful to serve meals at specific times, although food was available all the time, too. For Ray it was also important that the things he needed and wanted be put back in The Right Place - or he honestly couldn't find them. One morning we discovered he hadn't eaten breakfast bc he couldn't find the cereal - the box was on the table, rather than in its place on the shelf. So we got really careful about putting things Back, and separating out food for Ray on a special shelf that others were asked not to use at all.
At the time we were living communally, so there was a lot of spontaneous behavior going on ;) That made it all the more important for Ray that his own needs were taken care of the way he needed them to be. When that happened, he was able to deal with the ebb and flow of others' lives around him without much stress.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
cfhthinks
Thanks so much for your thoughts, Meredith - much appreciated!
Cath
Cath
--- In [email protected], "Meredith" <meredith@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], "cfhthinks" <cfhthinks@> wrote:
> >> My question is how could I implement my son's genuine need for routine - a map of the day - with my other kids' default position of spontaneity?
> **********************
>
> I suspect you'd have to alter your own routine to some extent to facilitate your son's, and maybe do some rearranging in the home, but given their ages, your other kids could likely still be spontaneous *around* him, as long as you can help him feel secure.
>
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>