help needeed!!!
Patricia
I am only into TRYING to unschool for about 3 months.
I didn't have a clue really untill I went to the live and learn
conference in Mass.
My really spirited ( yr.old son throws his orange peals in
the floor,candy wrapers,his plate goes into the floor.
when I suggest that he picks them up it's always "I will in a minute"
which never comes.I am trying to be really patient,he is actually
my grandson that I have adopted because his Mom is mentally ill.
She lives with us though and is still very much apart of their life.
I guess I need advice as to handle his behavior and his little
brother has really gotten angry and acting out since their Mom has
been hospitalized (a month,the longest ever}.
I hope someone has some suggestions.
One more thing,should I be worrying that Elijah wants to do nothing
all day but watch cartoons?He don't seem to be interested in
anything and I can't seem to get him interested in anything.He want
even listen to me read to him much less attempt to read himself.
~Pat
I didn't have a clue really untill I went to the live and learn
conference in Mass.
My really spirited ( yr.old son throws his orange peals in
the floor,candy wrapers,his plate goes into the floor.
when I suggest that he picks them up it's always "I will in a minute"
which never comes.I am trying to be really patient,he is actually
my grandson that I have adopted because his Mom is mentally ill.
She lives with us though and is still very much apart of their life.
I guess I need advice as to handle his behavior and his little
brother has really gotten angry and acting out since their Mom has
been hospitalized (a month,the longest ever}.
I hope someone has some suggestions.
One more thing,should I be worrying that Elijah wants to do nothing
all day but watch cartoons?He don't seem to be interested in
anything and I can't seem to get him interested in anything.He want
even listen to me read to him much less attempt to read himself.
~Pat
J. Stauffer
Hi Pat,
Your post didn't say how old your son is. But going from the fact that he can say "in a minute", I figure older than a toddler. I went through this with my own kids and I think it is important to remember that the issue is no longer orange peels on the floor but that he says he will do something and then he doesn't.
A lot of people will recommend that you simply pick up the peels from the floor in a happy manner and eventually, your son will as well. That recommendation might work very well, but the fact that y'all have other issues going on (Mom is mentally ill, having to be away, etc.). I would take a much more hands on approach.
I think I would pick up the peels and point out that I thought he was going to do it. Not in a mean way, just matter of fact. If it keeps happening, I would ask him during a happy time, why he tells me he will pick up the peels and then he doesn't. If it continues, I would point out how he might feel if I threw my trash down in his room and when asked to pick it, I said I would and didn't. And so on. I'm not saying punish him or yell at him. I'm saying keep bringing to his attention that this is a problem.
To me it is one thing if the kids are playing and leave their toys out. I will gladly put them away, no problem. It is another when the kids just throw trash in the floor because they can't be bothered to walk 5 steps to the trash can. I see it is being very disrespectful. I wouldn't treat anyone that way and don't want anyone treating me that way, adult or kid.
Just my thought.
Julie S.
Your post didn't say how old your son is. But going from the fact that he can say "in a minute", I figure older than a toddler. I went through this with my own kids and I think it is important to remember that the issue is no longer orange peels on the floor but that he says he will do something and then he doesn't.
A lot of people will recommend that you simply pick up the peels from the floor in a happy manner and eventually, your son will as well. That recommendation might work very well, but the fact that y'all have other issues going on (Mom is mentally ill, having to be away, etc.). I would take a much more hands on approach.
I think I would pick up the peels and point out that I thought he was going to do it. Not in a mean way, just matter of fact. If it keeps happening, I would ask him during a happy time, why he tells me he will pick up the peels and then he doesn't. If it continues, I would point out how he might feel if I threw my trash down in his room and when asked to pick it, I said I would and didn't. And so on. I'm not saying punish him or yell at him. I'm saying keep bringing to his attention that this is a problem.
To me it is one thing if the kids are playing and leave their toys out. I will gladly put them away, no problem. It is another when the kids just throw trash in the floor because they can't be bothered to walk 5 steps to the trash can. I see it is being very disrespectful. I wouldn't treat anyone that way and don't want anyone treating me that way, adult or kid.
Just my thought.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Patricia
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, November 04, 2004 12:32 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] help needeed!!!
I am only into TRYING to unschool for about 3 months.
I didn't have a clue really untill I went to the live and learn
conference in Mass.
My really spirited ( yr.old son throws his orange peals in
the floor,candy wrapers,his plate goes into the floor.
when I suggest that he picks them up it's always "I will in a minute"
which never comes.I am trying to be really patient,he is actually
my grandson that I have adopted because his Mom is mentally ill.
She lives with us though and is still very much apart of their life.
I guess I need advice as to handle his behavior and his little
brother has really gotten angry and acting out since their Mom has
been hospitalized (a month,the longest ever}.
I hope someone has some suggestions.
One more thing,should I be worrying that Elijah wants to do nothing
all day but watch cartoons?He don't seem to be interested in
anything and I can't seem to get him interested in anything.He want
even listen to me read to him much less attempt to read himself.
~Pat
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patricia tidmore
Thank~you so much Julie,
I apoligize for leaving Elijahs age out I meant to include it.He was 9 in August.
That sounds like really good advice and I will see how it works!
wish me luck!!
~Pat
"J. Stauffer" <jnjstau@...> wrote:
Hi Pat,
Your post didn't say how old your son is. But going from the fact that he can say "in a minute", I figure older than a toddler. I went through this with my own kids and I think it is important to remember that the issue is no longer orange peels on the floor but that he says he will do something and then he doesn't.
A lot of people will recommend that you simply pick up the peels from the floor in a happy manner and eventually, your son will as well. That recommendation might work very well, but the fact that y'all have other issues going on (Mom is mentally ill, having to be away, etc.). I would take a much more hands on approach.
I think I would pick up the peels and point out that I thought he was going to do it. Not in a mean way, just matter of fact. If it keeps happening, I would ask him during a happy time, why he tells me he will pick up the peels and then he doesn't. If it continues, I would point out how he might feel if I threw my trash down in his room and when asked to pick it, I said I would and didn't. And so on. I'm not saying punish him or yell at him. I'm saying keep bringing to his attention that this is a problem.
To me it is one thing if the kids are playing and leave their toys out. I will gladly put them away, no problem. It is another when the kids just throw trash in the floor because they can't be bothered to walk 5 steps to the trash can. I see it is being very disrespectful. I wouldn't treat anyone that way and don't want anyone treating me that way, adult or kid.
Just my thought.
Julie S.
I apoligize for leaving Elijahs age out I meant to include it.He was 9 in August.
That sounds like really good advice and I will see how it works!
wish me luck!!
~Pat
"J. Stauffer" <jnjstau@...> wrote:
Hi Pat,
Your post didn't say how old your son is. But going from the fact that he can say "in a minute", I figure older than a toddler. I went through this with my own kids and I think it is important to remember that the issue is no longer orange peels on the floor but that he says he will do something and then he doesn't.
A lot of people will recommend that you simply pick up the peels from the floor in a happy manner and eventually, your son will as well. That recommendation might work very well, but the fact that y'all have other issues going on (Mom is mentally ill, having to be away, etc.). I would take a much more hands on approach.
I think I would pick up the peels and point out that I thought he was going to do it. Not in a mean way, just matter of fact. If it keeps happening, I would ask him during a happy time, why he tells me he will pick up the peels and then he doesn't. If it continues, I would point out how he might feel if I threw my trash down in his room and when asked to pick it, I said I would and didn't. And so on. I'm not saying punish him or yell at him. I'm saying keep bringing to his attention that this is a problem.
To me it is one thing if the kids are playing and leave their toys out. I will gladly put them away, no problem. It is another when the kids just throw trash in the floor because they can't be bothered to walk 5 steps to the trash can. I see it is being very disrespectful. I wouldn't treat anyone that way and don't want anyone treating me that way, adult or kid.
Just my thought.
Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Patricia
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, November 04, 2004 12:32 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] help needeed!!!
I am only into TRYING to unschool for about 3 months.
I didn't have a clue really untill I went to the live and learn
conference in Mass.
My really spirited ( yr.old son throws his orange peals in
the floor,candy wrapers,his plate goes into the floor.
when I suggest that he picks them up it's always "I will in a minute"
which never comes.I am trying to be really patient,he is actually
my grandson that I have adopted because his Mom is mentally ill.
She lives with us though and is still very much apart of their life.
I guess I need advice as to handle his behavior and his little
brother has really gotten angry and acting out since their Mom has
been hospitalized (a month,the longest ever}.
I hope someone has some suggestions.
One more thing,should I be worrying that Elijah wants to do nothing
all day but watch cartoons?He don't seem to be interested in
anything and I can't seem to get him interested in anything.He want
even listen to me read to him much less attempt to read himself.
~Pat
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soggyboysmom
Is there a way to keep a small trash can near the
couch/chair/whatever? I know with DS (6 1/2), when he is into
watching something, he doesn't want to miss a moment of it and then
he's on to something else and he has truly forgotten that he said
he'd do something in between. Or, perhaps, he/you can peel the
orange in the kitchen and then take it to the living room? There are
probably lots of ways to come to a suitable situation besides he
does it or you do it.
As far as the cartoons, just a hunch here, but I'd guess he is
probably using that as an outlet, an escape, from all the big life
stuff going on right now. DH is 36 and when he is stressed he will
play video games in every free moment (and get tense, grumpy, if he
can't play or gets interrupted - which is a problem since he's the
at home parent with DS - and a 6 1/2 yr old needs attention).
Reading or anything else takes concentration and energy which he
doesn't have to spare right now - all that is bundled up in all the
emotions and stresses of having an unstable parent who has been away
for a while now.
I might even suggest finding both boys some sort of counselor who
can help them express and deal with what is going on inside them.
couch/chair/whatever? I know with DS (6 1/2), when he is into
watching something, he doesn't want to miss a moment of it and then
he's on to something else and he has truly forgotten that he said
he'd do something in between. Or, perhaps, he/you can peel the
orange in the kitchen and then take it to the living room? There are
probably lots of ways to come to a suitable situation besides he
does it or you do it.
As far as the cartoons, just a hunch here, but I'd guess he is
probably using that as an outlet, an escape, from all the big life
stuff going on right now. DH is 36 and when he is stressed he will
play video games in every free moment (and get tense, grumpy, if he
can't play or gets interrupted - which is a problem since he's the
at home parent with DS - and a 6 1/2 yr old needs attention).
Reading or anything else takes concentration and energy which he
doesn't have to spare right now - all that is bundled up in all the
emotions and stresses of having an unstable parent who has been away
for a while now.
I might even suggest finding both boys some sort of counselor who
can help them express and deal with what is going on inside them.
patricia tidmore
thanks,now we have a trash can right in front of his favotite chair.why didn't I think of that?
lol
hugs~Pat
soggyboysmom <debra.rossing@...> wrote:
Is there a way to keep a small trash can near the
couch/chair/whatever? I know with DS (6 1/2), when he is into
watching something, he doesn't want to miss a moment of it and then
he's on to something else and he has truly forgotten that he said
he'd do something in between. Or, perhaps, he/you can peel the
orange in the kitchen and then take it to the living room? There are
probably lots of ways to come to a suitable situation besides he
does it or you do it.
As far as the cartoons, just a hunch here, but I'd guess he is
probably using that as an outlet, an escape, from all the big life
stuff going on right now. DH is 36 and when he is stressed he will
play video games in every free moment (and get tense, grumpy, if he
can't play or gets interrupted - which is a problem since he's the
at home parent with DS - and a 6 1/2 yr old needs attention).
Reading or anything else takes concentration and energy which he
doesn't have to spare right now - all that is bundled up in all the
emotions and stresses of having an unstable parent who has been away
for a while now.
I might even suggest finding both boys some sort of counselor who
can help them express and deal with what is going on inside them.
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lol
hugs~Pat
soggyboysmom <debra.rossing@...> wrote:
Is there a way to keep a small trash can near the
couch/chair/whatever? I know with DS (6 1/2), when he is into
watching something, he doesn't want to miss a moment of it and then
he's on to something else and he has truly forgotten that he said
he'd do something in between. Or, perhaps, he/you can peel the
orange in the kitchen and then take it to the living room? There are
probably lots of ways to come to a suitable situation besides he
does it or you do it.
As far as the cartoons, just a hunch here, but I'd guess he is
probably using that as an outlet, an escape, from all the big life
stuff going on right now. DH is 36 and when he is stressed he will
play video games in every free moment (and get tense, grumpy, if he
can't play or gets interrupted - which is a problem since he's the
at home parent with DS - and a 6 1/2 yr old needs attention).
Reading or anything else takes concentration and energy which he
doesn't have to spare right now - all that is bundled up in all the
emotions and stresses of having an unstable parent who has been away
for a while now.
I might even suggest finding both boys some sort of counselor who
can help them express and deal with what is going on inside them.
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
---------------------------------
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To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
---------------------------------
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Check out the new Yahoo! Front Page. www.yahoo.com/a
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]