N CONFER

My mom suggested that if

they say something that we are uncomfortable with, just ignore them. We are

not likely to change their opinion. This is hard for me.

*********

Your Mom may be old like me. :)

At a certain point you learn, or not, that this is your problem. Holding onto it is your problem. You will not change the in-laws any more than they will change you.

Once you learn to let go of wanting the relationship to be more than it ever can be, you will be able to do it. Until then, you will continue to bang your head against the wall insisting that you can somehow magically change them.

Which is fine and dandy as a hobby. :)

I would just suggest that your DH and son be excused from this exercise in futility. Especially son. DH can fend for himself but a hurtful arrow fired by Gramma can be just too much for a young heart.

But that's me. I am old and mean. You do what you need to do.

Nance



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

N CONFER

LOL :) Happy to help!

Nance



Posted by: "Melissa"
ckent001@...
 

ckent9511



Sat Mar 14, 2009 9:18 am (PDT)


Wow- can I print this and put it on my mirror? I LOVE IT!!! So true.
You are my new inspiration. I am so motivated right now. THanks for
lighting my spark!.

Melissa-Ocala

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

pebsflower

---I am fortunate that alot of my family has not voiced any concerns or negativity to me except one person. I told them these are my children and I will do what feels right for us!
I get alot of socialization comments and I reply to them this:
" do you send your children to school to socialize or to learn?"
Pebs
In [email protected], N CONFER <marbleface@...> wrote:
>
> My mom suggested that if
>
> they say something that we are uncomfortable with, just ignore them. We are
>
> not likely to change their opinion. This is hard for me.
>
> *********
>
> Your Mom may be old like me. :)
>
> At a certain point you learn, or not, that this is your problem. Holding onto it is your problem. You will not change the in-laws any more than they will change you.
>
> Once you learn to let go of wanting the relationship to be more than it ever can be, you will be able to do it. Until then, you will continue to bang your head against the wall insisting that you can somehow magically change them.
>
> Which is fine and dandy as a hobby. :)
>
> I would just suggest that your DH and son be excused from this exercise in futility. Especially son. DH can fend for himself but a hurtful arrow fired by Gramma can be just too much for a young heart.
>
> But that's me. I am old and mean. You do what you need to do.
>
> Nance
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Jodi Bezzola

--- On Sun, 3/15/09, N CONFER <marbleface@...> wrote:
 
~~At a certain point you learn, or not, that this is your problem. Holding onto it is your problem. You will not change the in-laws any more than they will change you.

Once you learn to let go of wanting the relationship to be more than it ever can be, you will be able to do it. Until then, you will continue to bang your head against the wall insisting that you can somehow magically change them.

Which is fine and dandy as a hobby. :)

I would just suggest that your DH and son be excused from this exercise in futility. Especially son. DH can fend for himself but a hurtful arrow fired by Gramma can be just too much for a young heart.

But that's me. I am old and mean. You do what you need to do.~~
 
This made me laugh.  I'll just use that reason from now on, that I'm old and mean :).  This one is going on *my* fridge.  I've read this thread with interest, because the situation discussed is very similar to mine with my in-laws.  I've done nothing *and* I've bent over backwards trying to please them, all to the same no-win result.  It's so much more fun to do nothing.  Recently a friend suggested I write all about my 'ideal family' (which included being best friends with my in-laws) and then burn it - very insightful and freeing!
 
Jodi




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

rebecca de

I have truly enjoyed this thread --- your all speaking to my heart... Learning to let go of our expectations of others (and even ourselves) is soooo hard.   I too have a problem of wanting to argue a point.  but really what is the point... everyone has their and if your in disagreement it probably won't change by argueing right??

--- On Sun, 3/15/09, N CONFER <marbleface@...> wrote:
From: N CONFER <marbleface@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Parents and unschooling. . .
To: "unschoolingbasics" <[email protected]>
Date: Sunday, March 15, 2009, 8:02 AM












My mom suggested that if



they say something that we are uncomfortable with, just ignore them. We are



not likely to change their opinion. This is hard for me.



*********



Your Mom may be old like me. :)



At a certain point you learn, or not, that this is your problem. Holding onto it is your problem. You will not change the in-laws any more than they will change you.



Once you learn to let go of wanting the relationship to be more than it ever can be, you will be able to do it. Until then, you will continue to bang your head against the wall insisting that you can somehow magically change them.



Which is fine and dandy as a hobby. :)



I would just suggest that your DH and son be excused from this exercise in futility. Especially son. DH can fend for himself but a hurtful arrow fired by Gramma can be just too much for a young heart.



But that's me. I am old and mean. You do what you need to do.



Nance



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]































[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jodi Bezzola

Yah, I still love Kelly's suggestion which goes something like, "How interesting!  Please pass the bean dip".  It's still my favourite deflection method :).
 
Jodi



--- On Sun, 3/15/09, rebecca de <rebeccadehate@...> wrote:

From: rebecca de <rebeccadehate@...>
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Parents and unschooling. . .
To: [email protected]
Date: Sunday, March 15, 2009, 9:47 AM






I have truly enjoyed this thread --- your all speaking to my heart... Learning to let go of our expectations of others (and even ourselves) is soooo hard.   I too have a problem of wanting to argue a point.  but really what is the point... everyone has their and if your in disagreement it probably won't change by argueing right??

--- On Sun, 3/15/09, N CONFER <marbleface@bellsout h.net> wrote:
From: N CONFER <marbleface@bellsout h.net>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Parents and unschooling. . .
To: "unschoolingbasics" <unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com>
Date: Sunday, March 15, 2009, 8:02 AM

My mom suggested that if

they say something that we are uncomfortable with, just ignore them. We are

not likely to change their opinion. This is hard for me.

*********

Your Mom may be old like me. :)

At a certain point you learn, or not, that this is your problem. Holding onto it is your problem. You will not change the in-laws any more than they will change you.

Once you learn to let go of wanting the relationship to be more than it ever can be, you will be able to do it. Until then, you will continue to bang your head against the wall insisting that you can somehow magically change them.

Which is fine and dandy as a hobby. :)

I would just suggest that your DH and son be excused from this exercise in futility. Especially son. DH can fend for himself but a hurtful arrow fired by Gramma can be just too much for a young heart.

But that's me. I am old and mean. You do what you need to do.

Nance

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



















[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karen James

Thanks Nance. I feel like you are right. It's hard for me to let go.

By the way, judging by the words and sentiment you have communicated to me,
I wouldn't consider you "mean." To me you seem honest, frank and practical.

Thanks again.

Karen.



On Sun, Mar 15, 2009 at 8:02 AM, N CONFER <marbleface@...> wrote:

> My mom suggested that if
>
> they say something that we are uncomfortable with, just ignore them. We are
>
> not likely to change their opinion. This is hard for me.
>
> *********
>
> Your Mom may be old like me. :)
>
> At a certain point you learn, or not, that this is your problem. Holding
> onto it is your problem. You will not change the in-laws any more than they
> will change you.
>
> Once you learn to let go of wanting the relationship to be more than it
> ever can be, you will be able to do it. Until then, you will continue to
> bang your head against the wall insisting that you can somehow magically
> change them.
>
> Which is fine and dandy as a hobby. :)
>
> I would just suggest that your DH and son be excused from this exercise in
> futility. Especially son. DH can fend for himself but a hurtful arrow fired
> by Gramma can be just too much for a young heart.
>
> But that's me. I am old and mean. You do what you need to do.
>
> Nance
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



--
�If you want to know your future, look at what you are doing in this
moment.� --Tibetan

http://www.karenjamess.blogspot.com/
http://jamesfamilyedutrip.blogspot.com/


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]