Finding a Balance (email list volume dilemma)
[email protected]
Hi everyone,
I need your advice/suggestions. I'm wondering how you balance reading these
lists & interacting w/your children? I've already gone on the digest versions
and pared down to just the bare bones, 'most valuable' ones to me
(ShineWithUnschooling, UnschoolingBasics, AlwaysUnschooled), but I am still not doing a
good job balancing reading/responding to them w/ my daughter needing time w/me.
I think I'm becoming addicted to you guys and these conversations!! : )
Emma (5) told me yesterday that she wanted me to get off the computer, that
it seems like I'm ALWAYS on the computer lately and "let's go play or DO
something"...so I shut it down and off we went! Now, I have to say that we are
pretty active going out on field trips and exploring, etc....and while we're home,
I play a LOT of barbies, my little pony, Polly pockets, and do crafts and
watch movies, etc. But I have to agree with her and admit that these lists are
taking up WAY too much of my/her time. It's just that I am getting SO much out
of them and they (YOU) have been (and continue to be) so inspiring and
helpful in making our lives better/more joyful....except for the time reading them
requires :)
How DO you do it? Is it harder because Em is only 5? Because she's an only
child and I am her sole playmate most of the time? Do you set a timer for
yourself/only allot a certain amount of time daily to the lists? Go online only
after everyone else has gone to sleep at night? Make it a point to only lurk
and not respond? I'm afraid if I cannot figure out a workable system, I'll
have to unsubscribe or in the least, go on 'no mail'...and I'm just not ready to
give you all up just yet! : )
HELP!
Denise
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I need your advice/suggestions. I'm wondering how you balance reading these
lists & interacting w/your children? I've already gone on the digest versions
and pared down to just the bare bones, 'most valuable' ones to me
(ShineWithUnschooling, UnschoolingBasics, AlwaysUnschooled), but I am still not doing a
good job balancing reading/responding to them w/ my daughter needing time w/me.
I think I'm becoming addicted to you guys and these conversations!! : )
Emma (5) told me yesterday that she wanted me to get off the computer, that
it seems like I'm ALWAYS on the computer lately and "let's go play or DO
something"...so I shut it down and off we went! Now, I have to say that we are
pretty active going out on field trips and exploring, etc....and while we're home,
I play a LOT of barbies, my little pony, Polly pockets, and do crafts and
watch movies, etc. But I have to agree with her and admit that these lists are
taking up WAY too much of my/her time. It's just that I am getting SO much out
of them and they (YOU) have been (and continue to be) so inspiring and
helpful in making our lives better/more joyful....except for the time reading them
requires :)
How DO you do it? Is it harder because Em is only 5? Because she's an only
child and I am her sole playmate most of the time? Do you set a timer for
yourself/only allot a certain amount of time daily to the lists? Go online only
after everyone else has gone to sleep at night? Make it a point to only lurk
and not respond? I'm afraid if I cannot figure out a workable system, I'll
have to unsubscribe or in the least, go on 'no mail'...and I'm just not ready to
give you all up just yet! : )
HELP!
Denise
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
KJoy!
Hi Denise,
It sounds like these lists are helping you to be the
kind of mom you would like to be. yes?
If so, yes, find a way to continue. Having something
for yourself will definitely give you more energy to be
with your daughter.
The best advice I've ever heard about "overwhelm" that
ALWAYS helps me is to ask yourself, "Am I doing this
because I CAN or because it is truly Joyful to me?"
Sometimes, just because we CAN do something doesn't
always mean we "should."
Happy Balancing to you! :))
Love,
KJoy!
The Pink Dancing Butterfly Mama!
Pink Prosperity Power/Pink Power Jewelry
http://www.artellawordsandart.com/KJoy!.html
Living and Learning from the Heart, Naturally
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AP_Unschoolers
It sounds like these lists are helping you to be the
kind of mom you would like to be. yes?
If so, yes, find a way to continue. Having something
for yourself will definitely give you more energy to be
with your daughter.
The best advice I've ever heard about "overwhelm" that
ALWAYS helps me is to ask yourself, "Am I doing this
because I CAN or because it is truly Joyful to me?"
Sometimes, just because we CAN do something doesn't
always mean we "should."
Happy Balancing to you! :))
Love,
KJoy!
The Pink Dancing Butterfly Mama!
Pink Prosperity Power/Pink Power Jewelry
http://www.artellawordsandart.com/KJoy!.html
Living and Learning from the Heart, Naturally
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AP_Unschoolers
----- Original Message -----
From: we3deeves@...
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected] ; [email protected]
Sent: Monday, October 25, 2004 3:50 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Finding a Balance (email list volume dilemma)
Hi everyone,
I need your advice/suggestions. I'm wondering how you balance reading these
lists & interacting w/your children?
...and I'm just not ready to
give you all up just yet! : )
HELP!
Denise
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Goza's House
im a member of the same lists and I have the same struggle...my kids are almost 4 and 16mos. my inbox stays arounf 200 new messages!!
seeking balance as well...
seeking balance as well...
----- Original Message -----
From: we3deeves@...
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected] ; [email protected]
Sent: Monday, October 25, 2004 5:50 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Finding a Balance (email list volume dilemma)
Hi everyone,
I need your advice/suggestions. I'm wondering how you balance reading these
lists & interacting w/your children? I've already gone on the digest versions
and pared down to just the bare bones, 'most valuable' ones to me
(ShineWithUnschooling, UnschoolingBasics, AlwaysUnschooled), but I am still not doing a
good job balancing reading/responding to them w/ my daughter needing time w/me.
I think I'm becoming addicted to you guys and these conversations!! : )
Emma (5) told me yesterday that she wanted me to get off the computer, that
it seems like I'm ALWAYS on the computer lately and "let's go play or DO
something"...so I shut it down and off we went! Now, I have to say that we are
pretty active going out on field trips and exploring, etc....and while we're home,
I play a LOT of barbies, my little pony, Polly pockets, and do crafts and
watch movies, etc. But I have to agree with her and admit that these lists are
taking up WAY too much of my/her time. It's just that I am getting SO much out
of them and they (YOU) have been (and continue to be) so inspiring and
helpful in making our lives better/more joyful....except for the time reading them
requires :)
How DO you do it? Is it harder because Em is only 5? Because she's an only
child and I am her sole playmate most of the time? Do you set a timer for
yourself/only allot a certain amount of time daily to the lists? Go online only
after everyone else has gone to sleep at night? Make it a point to only lurk
and not respond? I'm afraid if I cannot figure out a workable system, I'll
have to unsubscribe or in the least, go on 'no mail'...and I'm just not ready to
give you all up just yet! : )
HELP!
Denise
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jecaam28
Just a practical answer to your question:
When I first found the lists it was overwhelming to me too, but I
enjoyed them so much. I was on the computer several times a day to
keep up with it. That was TOO much for me and the kids. So... I went
no mail and check them at the site each day - once. Sometimes I even
skip days. I usually do it after everyone is in bed, and I mostly
lurk...with an occasional post or question when really needed. Just
how I handle it.
HTH,
Jennifer
When I first found the lists it was overwhelming to me too, but I
enjoyed them so much. I was on the computer several times a day to
keep up with it. That was TOO much for me and the kids. So... I went
no mail and check them at the site each day - once. Sometimes I even
skip days. I usually do it after everyone is in bed, and I mostly
lurk...with an occasional post or question when really needed. Just
how I handle it.
HTH,
Jennifer
--- In [email protected], we3deeves@a... wrote:
> Hi everyone,
>
> I need your advice/suggestions. I'm wondering how you balance
reading these
> lists & interacting w/your children? I've already gone on the
digest versions
> and pared down to just the bare bones, 'most valuable' ones to me
> (ShineWithUnschooling, UnschoolingBasics, AlwaysUnschooled), but I
am still not doing a
> good job balancing reading/responding to them w/ my daughter
needing time w/me.
> I think I'm becoming addicted to you guys and these
conversations!! : )
>
> Emma (5) told me yesterday that she wanted me to get off the
computer, that
> it seems like I'm ALWAYS on the computer lately and "let's go play
or DO
> something"...so I shut it down and off we went! Now, I have to say
that we are
> pretty active going out on field trips and exploring, etc....and
while we're home,
> I play a LOT of barbies, my little pony, Polly pockets, and do
crafts and
> watch movies, etc. But I have to agree with her and admit that
these lists are
> taking up WAY too much of my/her time. It's just that I am getting
SO much out
> of them and they (YOU) have been (and continue to be) so inspiring
and
> helpful in making our lives better/more joyful....except for the
time reading them
> requires :)
>
> How DO you do it? Is it harder because Em is only 5? Because
she's an only
> child and I am her sole playmate most of the time? Do you set a
timer for
> yourself/only allot a certain amount of time daily to the lists?
Go online only
> after everyone else has gone to sleep at night? Make it a point to
only lurk
> and not respond? I'm afraid if I cannot figure out a workable
system, I'll
> have to unsubscribe or in the least, go on 'no mail'...and I'm just
not ready to
> give you all up just yet! : )
>
> HELP!
> Denise
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
<<<<I need your advice/suggestions. I'm wondering how you balance reading
these
lists & interacting w/your children? I've already gone on the digest
versions
and pared down to just the bare bones, 'most valuable' ones to me
(ShineWithUnschooling, UnschoolingBasics, AlwaysUnschooled), but I am still
not doing a
good job balancing reading/responding to them w/ my daughter needing time
w/me.
I think I'm becoming addicted to you guys and these conversations!!>>>
The person who has the most problem with the time I spend online is my dh.
He feels that it cuts into the time I should be spending with him, or
attending to his errands and the housework. I am still working on this, and
it has gotten a lot better since I started sending him some of the longer
posts I have made. Recently he got onto two dads' lists, and was remarking
with astonishment about the volume (35 posts in one WEEK - he thinks that's
a lot) and how the posts seem to draw him in and need lengthy and thoughtful
responses. Welcome to my world!
I generally get my emailing done in disjointed snatches. I am on four busy
lists that I receive mail on: Basics, U/D, AlwaysUnschooled and
AlwaysLearning. In addition I am on my local group list, which is more along
the lines of announcements most of the time. Sometimes I mix up which list I
am replying to, and this is not always a good thing. Most of the time I am
sitting down to the computer when Jayn is busy or sleeping, and dh is out or
sleeping. Of course it is way faster without distractions. Sometimes
something will be preying on my mind and I can't sleep until I have replied
- even if I don't immediately send the reply. Also I have a laptop and there
are times when Jayn is playing next to me on the floor, or I can take my
computer to be next to where she is working on computer or with her art
stuff. These multitasking moments are rare and treasured.
I make these lists the foundation of my parenting journey. They have made me
a better parent, and I find that the really time and energy consuming part
is the thinking of replies rather than the actual reading.
When the lists are very active, I tend to skim over the threads that are
specifically about teens, computer games or books older kids are reading.
There are individuals whose writing I would pause to read if they were
writing out their grocery list, regardless of topic, whose insights are
valuable no matter what. Rarely there are individuals who I usually skip
altogether if experience has shown me a lack of simpatico. For these reasons
I just can't imagine finding digests simpler, but as someone has mentioned,
I'm also on a cable modem, not a dial up or timed system.
I move items that may require a reply to my follow up folder and do all my
replying after I have read most of the days' posts, rather than merely
reiterate what someone else may have already posted (unless I feel it is so
important that an extra supportive voice is helpful) or conversely it's
something really quick. When replying I think hard about whether I have the
credibility to speak to an issue. For example it is largely futile for me to
talk about teenagers or sibling issues, although if no-one is answering in a
timely manner I might refer to stories others have told in the past. I have
learnt that posting about my direct experiences in unambiguous language is
the best way to illustrate the principles of joyously living unschooling. I
try to ask myself "will this help anyone?"
In the past when I have had some kind of deadline, I have gone no-mail
temporarily. The topics really are cyclic. I wouldn't feel right doing that
with the list I am a co-owner on however!
Still there are times when Jayn is calling me, and I am sometimes distracted
and don't respond at once, sometimes momentarily frustrated that I am being
called for "again". However I think about Valerie and her great example, and
am getting a lot better at just stopping and walking away from the computer
or closing the lid for a while.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.782 / Virus Database: 528 - Release Date: 10/22/2004
these
lists & interacting w/your children? I've already gone on the digest
versions
and pared down to just the bare bones, 'most valuable' ones to me
(ShineWithUnschooling, UnschoolingBasics, AlwaysUnschooled), but I am still
not doing a
good job balancing reading/responding to them w/ my daughter needing time
w/me.
I think I'm becoming addicted to you guys and these conversations!!>>>
The person who has the most problem with the time I spend online is my dh.
He feels that it cuts into the time I should be spending with him, or
attending to his errands and the housework. I am still working on this, and
it has gotten a lot better since I started sending him some of the longer
posts I have made. Recently he got onto two dads' lists, and was remarking
with astonishment about the volume (35 posts in one WEEK - he thinks that's
a lot) and how the posts seem to draw him in and need lengthy and thoughtful
responses. Welcome to my world!
I generally get my emailing done in disjointed snatches. I am on four busy
lists that I receive mail on: Basics, U/D, AlwaysUnschooled and
AlwaysLearning. In addition I am on my local group list, which is more along
the lines of announcements most of the time. Sometimes I mix up which list I
am replying to, and this is not always a good thing. Most of the time I am
sitting down to the computer when Jayn is busy or sleeping, and dh is out or
sleeping. Of course it is way faster without distractions. Sometimes
something will be preying on my mind and I can't sleep until I have replied
- even if I don't immediately send the reply. Also I have a laptop and there
are times when Jayn is playing next to me on the floor, or I can take my
computer to be next to where she is working on computer or with her art
stuff. These multitasking moments are rare and treasured.
I make these lists the foundation of my parenting journey. They have made me
a better parent, and I find that the really time and energy consuming part
is the thinking of replies rather than the actual reading.
When the lists are very active, I tend to skim over the threads that are
specifically about teens, computer games or books older kids are reading.
There are individuals whose writing I would pause to read if they were
writing out their grocery list, regardless of topic, whose insights are
valuable no matter what. Rarely there are individuals who I usually skip
altogether if experience has shown me a lack of simpatico. For these reasons
I just can't imagine finding digests simpler, but as someone has mentioned,
I'm also on a cable modem, not a dial up or timed system.
I move items that may require a reply to my follow up folder and do all my
replying after I have read most of the days' posts, rather than merely
reiterate what someone else may have already posted (unless I feel it is so
important that an extra supportive voice is helpful) or conversely it's
something really quick. When replying I think hard about whether I have the
credibility to speak to an issue. For example it is largely futile for me to
talk about teenagers or sibling issues, although if no-one is answering in a
timely manner I might refer to stories others have told in the past. I have
learnt that posting about my direct experiences in unambiguous language is
the best way to illustrate the principles of joyously living unschooling. I
try to ask myself "will this help anyone?"
In the past when I have had some kind of deadline, I have gone no-mail
temporarily. The topics really are cyclic. I wouldn't feel right doing that
with the list I am a co-owner on however!
Still there are times when Jayn is calling me, and I am sometimes distracted
and don't respond at once, sometimes momentarily frustrated that I am being
called for "again". However I think about Valerie and her great example, and
am getting a lot better at just stopping and walking away from the computer
or closing the lid for a while.
Robyn L. Coburn
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.782 / Virus Database: 528 - Release Date: 10/22/2004
mamaaj2000
--- In [email protected], "jecaam28" <jecaam28@y...>
wrote:
in my inbox, they are pressuring me to deal with them! Messages on a
web site are much more benign and can be dealt with on my terms and
ignored at will. ;-)
There's an expand message feature that puts a bunch of messages on
one screen, which makes it really easy to skim through. Sometimes
certain messages don't wrap and it's easy to forget which message you
read last, so YMMV.
I realized last week that I have been spending too much time on the
computer. Between a couple parenting lists, 3 u/s lists and reading
political blogs...eek, it was too much. The kids seemed happy playing
without me and watching tv, but they were starting to fight a little
more and I realized we had been reading almost no books lately. I'd
started to think "if they are watching tv, I'm free to be on the
computer" instead of sitting down with them or being available down
on the floor as soon as a show ended.
I always feel rushed when posting if dd is awake, because she wants
to play with the keyboard. I can usually read and interact with the
kids at the same time, but as soon as I open the keyboard drawer,
it's a signal to them that mom is not really paying attention, so
they'd better come over!
Reading about unschooling and parenting issues do help me tons, so I
don't want to give it up. As time goes by and I get more comfortable
with a subject, I don't feel the need to post as much. Writing
REALLY, REALLY helps me sort my thoughts out, so I get a lot out of
responding to others' questions. And hopefully occasionally it helps
someone else, lol.
--aj, mama to two kids currently eating and watching tv and therefore
not interested in the keyboard
wrote:
>I wentYep, that has helped me mentally/emotionally. If there are messages
> no mail and check them at the site each day
in my inbox, they are pressuring me to deal with them! Messages on a
web site are much more benign and can be dealt with on my terms and
ignored at will. ;-)
There's an expand message feature that puts a bunch of messages on
one screen, which makes it really easy to skim through. Sometimes
certain messages don't wrap and it's easy to forget which message you
read last, so YMMV.
I realized last week that I have been spending too much time on the
computer. Between a couple parenting lists, 3 u/s lists and reading
political blogs...eek, it was too much. The kids seemed happy playing
without me and watching tv, but they were starting to fight a little
more and I realized we had been reading almost no books lately. I'd
started to think "if they are watching tv, I'm free to be on the
computer" instead of sitting down with them or being available down
on the floor as soon as a show ended.
I always feel rushed when posting if dd is awake, because she wants
to play with the keyboard. I can usually read and interact with the
kids at the same time, but as soon as I open the keyboard drawer,
it's a signal to them that mom is not really paying attention, so
they'd better come over!
Reading about unschooling and parenting issues do help me tons, so I
don't want to give it up. As time goes by and I get more comfortable
with a subject, I don't feel the need to post as much. Writing
REALLY, REALLY helps me sort my thoughts out, so I get a lot out of
responding to others' questions. And hopefully occasionally it helps
someone else, lol.
--aj, mama to two kids currently eating and watching tv and therefore
not interested in the keyboard
[email protected]
> Emma (5) told me yesterday that she wanted me to get off the computer, thatYOu learn after a while what to read and what to skim and what to skip. My kids have grown up with me on the computer (at least the younger two) and I have heard the exact comment from each of them. :-) What I found when they were younger (and still do to a point) is that I generally was up before them and would drink my first cup of tea and munch my toast while checking my e-mail. My poor son used to think that he had two "nursie chairs" One in the living room and one in front of the computer :-) I would nak a lot (nurse at keyboard)! Naptime was another time that I would get on the computer.
> it seems like I'm ALWAYS on the computer lately and "let's go play or DO
> something"...so I shut it down and off we went!
I'm on more than just unschooling lists. I have lots of LLL Leader related lists, spirituality lists, Pampered Chef lists, Disney lists as well as un/homeschooling lists. One of my Disney lists alone can generate over 300 messages a day (I don't read them all even though I am on the staff for that list!)
You will find your balance. Just give yourself time. Perhaps your dd would agree to letting you set a timer or let you be on the computer while she watches a video. Does she get time on the compter? Maybe she is jealous. Maybe if you traded time on the computer she would be more content when she sees why you want to be on the computer "all the time."
Michelle