Re: [unschoolingbasics] reading
Millie Rosa
"Create a print-rich environment - in many more ways than just reading
together. But, do pick some books that he might pick up the reading in,
quickly, like Hop on Pop, so that he has a chance at it."
I absolutely agree. I do think reading together is key, however.
My son (2.75) learned to read, just as he learned to speak, by osmosis...
I always read to him, he always wanted me too, (still does, thank goodness, though he can read himself). By being read to frequently and also much time examining books himself, he learned to read well. He can presently read nearly as well as me. He nails words like application, Antartica, revealing. He can definitely read as fast as I can type, as he sometimes reads aloud over my shoulder. Yesterday, I discovered when he took my grocery list, that he can read cursive (I cannot fathom how this happened except that my cursive is sort of a hybrid and I guess the letters are recognizable...) Anyway, I realize that there are different sorts of intelligences and also that most children don't have an easy of a time of it as Will did, but by seeing how naturally it did come for him, I imagine that any child who wants to read could also pick it up through absorbing themselves in books....being read to, looking at books themselves, especially with mother or someone nearby...(Will
always needs me available to answer "what's this word," or "what does this mean?") While his awareness and desire for this skill may have been earlier than some other childrens, I would think that any older child would have the same skill and be able to learn to read with the same kind of natural flow and ease.
So what I am saying is, if you read to them and with them, I believe they will absolutely pick it up.
Peace and all good,
Millie
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together. But, do pick some books that he might pick up the reading in,
quickly, like Hop on Pop, so that he has a chance at it."
I absolutely agree. I do think reading together is key, however.
My son (2.75) learned to read, just as he learned to speak, by osmosis...
I always read to him, he always wanted me too, (still does, thank goodness, though he can read himself). By being read to frequently and also much time examining books himself, he learned to read well. He can presently read nearly as well as me. He nails words like application, Antartica, revealing. He can definitely read as fast as I can type, as he sometimes reads aloud over my shoulder. Yesterday, I discovered when he took my grocery list, that he can read cursive (I cannot fathom how this happened except that my cursive is sort of a hybrid and I guess the letters are recognizable...) Anyway, I realize that there are different sorts of intelligences and also that most children don't have an easy of a time of it as Will did, but by seeing how naturally it did come for him, I imagine that any child who wants to read could also pick it up through absorbing themselves in books....being read to, looking at books themselves, especially with mother or someone nearby...(Will
always needs me available to answer "what's this word," or "what does this mean?") While his awareness and desire for this skill may have been earlier than some other childrens, I would think that any older child would have the same skill and be able to learn to read with the same kind of natural flow and ease.
So what I am saying is, if you read to them and with them, I believe they will absolutely pick it up.
Peace and all good,
Millie
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nrskay
Stacey;
I just wanted to give you some peace of mind about reading. It wasn't
until 3rd grade that I finally was able to read. I love to read now
and I finish anywhere from 2 to 3 books a week. Let's just say the
librarian knows me well.
My dd who started reading at 6, and went to ps for grades 1-3, hated
to read. She says it was boring and just didn't enjoy it. We started
unschooling last year, she is just now started to read on her own.
It's not War & Peace, but a very good book about Joan of Arc. She
wants to study the Middle Ages.
Personally, if you read to her when she wants to she'll pick it up.
My mother worried too, so did the teachers. Thank God that was back
in the 60's before all the testing and labels of today.
Kay
I just wanted to give you some peace of mind about reading. It wasn't
until 3rd grade that I finally was able to read. I love to read now
and I finish anywhere from 2 to 3 books a week. Let's just say the
librarian knows me well.
My dd who started reading at 6, and went to ps for grades 1-3, hated
to read. She says it was boring and just didn't enjoy it. We started
unschooling last year, she is just now started to read on her own.
It's not War & Peace, but a very good book about Joan of Arc. She
wants to study the Middle Ages.
Personally, if you read to her when she wants to she'll pick it up.
My mother worried too, so did the teachers. Thank God that was back
in the 60's before all the testing and labels of today.
Kay
Schuyler
Reading to a child won't necessarily make a reader of that child. Not to say
that you shouldn't read to your children, but maybe you shouldn't feel like
a failure, like you didn't do the right things, or that they didn't do the
right things is they aren't reading yet.
My son Simon, who is 10, is not among the readers yet. I've read to him
since he was tiny. Anything he wanted, and I still do. And I have no fears
but that he will join the ranks of the reading at some point. Linnaea, who
is 7, is reading. She started reading about 6 months ago. And I was really
nervous that Simon would feel like he wasn't as good or as smart or
something because his little sister had beaten him to the reading goal. He
absolutely wasn't. He feels no shame in not reading yet. He knows he has
strengths that she doesn't have, and he totally believes he will be a reader
someday, just not yet.
There are interesting benefits to not being a reader. Simon listens much
better than I or Linnaea do. He sees things in video games or in movies that
I wouldn't because I look for the information in text. When I read to him,
he will walk away with a better understanding, greater memory for detail of
the story/book than I ever do.
There may be reasons other than exposure or focus that keep a child from
reading. As far as I know and believe, those things will be overcome with
time. Someone recently said on some list or another that it was their child
playing a video game that got them reading, they'd realized that it would be
easier to negotiate the game if they could understand what was being said in
text. And I realized that the poster of that e-mail thought their child
wasn't reading before that because they weren't interested enough, they
weren't trying hard enough. Maybe the timing of that particular video game
went hand and hand with that child being actually ready to read. Maybe the
game and all of the other pieces of the literacy puzzle came together at the
same moment.
Reading is an important tool in most people's lives. Your children will want
to negotiate the world fully and will, given time and exposure, master
reading without being pressured to do worksheets or to read on command or to
play a phonics game. Just don't think they are lazy, or not trying hard
enough or that you haven't read to them enough if they aren't reading by the
time you believe they ought to be.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
that you shouldn't read to your children, but maybe you shouldn't feel like
a failure, like you didn't do the right things, or that they didn't do the
right things is they aren't reading yet.
My son Simon, who is 10, is not among the readers yet. I've read to him
since he was tiny. Anything he wanted, and I still do. And I have no fears
but that he will join the ranks of the reading at some point. Linnaea, who
is 7, is reading. She started reading about 6 months ago. And I was really
nervous that Simon would feel like he wasn't as good or as smart or
something because his little sister had beaten him to the reading goal. He
absolutely wasn't. He feels no shame in not reading yet. He knows he has
strengths that she doesn't have, and he totally believes he will be a reader
someday, just not yet.
There are interesting benefits to not being a reader. Simon listens much
better than I or Linnaea do. He sees things in video games or in movies that
I wouldn't because I look for the information in text. When I read to him,
he will walk away with a better understanding, greater memory for detail of
the story/book than I ever do.
There may be reasons other than exposure or focus that keep a child from
reading. As far as I know and believe, those things will be overcome with
time. Someone recently said on some list or another that it was their child
playing a video game that got them reading, they'd realized that it would be
easier to negotiate the game if they could understand what was being said in
text. And I realized that the poster of that e-mail thought their child
wasn't reading before that because they weren't interested enough, they
weren't trying hard enough. Maybe the timing of that particular video game
went hand and hand with that child being actually ready to read. Maybe the
game and all of the other pieces of the literacy puzzle came together at the
same moment.
Reading is an important tool in most people's lives. Your children will want
to negotiate the world fully and will, given time and exposure, master
reading without being pressured to do worksheets or to read on command or to
play a phonics game. Just don't think they are lazy, or not trying hard
enough or that you haven't read to them enough if they aren't reading by the
time you believe they ought to be.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
> Us reading to him, I believe, is instrumental to his high capabililty of
> being able to read anything today. He started reading to himself when he
> was 4. Today he's 6 >going 7, and he could very easily read anything he
> picks up but this doesn't meant he can understand what he's reading!
Kara Cassidy
i have not posted much but i need some advice my kids are 14 and 12 my
son who is 14 is just now picking up reading my 12 year old will not
even try she is not reading at all he is ADHD and has dyslexea so i
under stand her frustration and i am not pushing it but i am geting a
lot of greaf from family members about them not being up with the
other kids we are new to unschooling i have TRYED to home school them
for a few years and it has been nothing but yelling and throwing
books riping up papper etc. so i am giveing unschooling a try they do
seem to be less streesed and so am i i have seen them do stuff on
there own here lately like looking stuff up on line about stuff they
are interested in with my help becouse of the reading thing i guess
what i am asking is any one else dealing with reading issues and how
are you handling it?
son who is 14 is just now picking up reading my 12 year old will not
even try she is not reading at all he is ADHD and has dyslexea so i
under stand her frustration and i am not pushing it but i am geting a
lot of greaf from family members about them not being up with the
other kids we are new to unschooling i have TRYED to home school them
for a few years and it has been nothing but yelling and throwing
books riping up papper etc. so i am giveing unschooling a try they do
seem to be less streesed and so am i i have seen them do stuff on
there own here lately like looking stuff up on line about stuff they
are interested in with my help becouse of the reading thing i guess
what i am asking is any one else dealing with reading issues and how
are you handling it?
Ren Allen
--- In [email protected], "Kara Cassidy" <dachac3@...>
wrote:
read when they're ready. What are your reading skills like? Do you
enjoy reading to them? Are you an example of joyful exploration in
life, including reading? What kind of feelings have they picked up
about reading and learning so far?
It sounds like they've had a lot of stress over much of
"learning"....which isn't learning at all. I'm going to be very honest
with you (this isn't a judgment, just something I noticed) and that is
your post has no punctuation, several mispellings and is generally
difficult to read.
YET, I understood your point, I heard what you had to say and you got
your message across. Isn't that the whole point? There are times we
need to relate messages more clearly, but obviously not everyone needs
fabulous reading or writing skills to enjoy life.:)
So relax. Focus on doing things that help you connect to your kids. Do
things that connect you all to the joy of LIVING. Do things that
nourish your spirits and trust that learning will happen...in it's own
way and time.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
wrote:
>We don't have reading "issues" because I trust that my children will
> i have not posted much but i need some advice my kids are 14 and 12 my
> son who is 14 is just now picking up reading my 12 year old will not
> even try she is not reading at all he is ADHD and has dyslexea so i
> under stand her frustration and i am not pushing it but i am geting a
> lot of greaf from family members about them not being up with the
> other kids we are new to unschooling i have TRYED to home school them
> for a few years and it has been nothing but yelling and throwing
> books riping up papper etc. so i am giveing unschooling a try they do
> seem to be less streesed and so am i i have seen them do stuff on
> there own here lately like looking stuff up on line about stuff they
> are interested in with my help becouse of the reading thing i guess
> what i am asking is any one else dealing with reading issues and how
> are you handling it?
>
read when they're ready. What are your reading skills like? Do you
enjoy reading to them? Are you an example of joyful exploration in
life, including reading? What kind of feelings have they picked up
about reading and learning so far?
It sounds like they've had a lot of stress over much of
"learning"....which isn't learning at all. I'm going to be very honest
with you (this isn't a judgment, just something I noticed) and that is
your post has no punctuation, several mispellings and is generally
difficult to read.
YET, I understood your point, I heard what you had to say and you got
your message across. Isn't that the whole point? There are times we
need to relate messages more clearly, but obviously not everyone needs
fabulous reading or writing skills to enjoy life.:)
So relax. Focus on doing things that help you connect to your kids. Do
things that connect you all to the joy of LIVING. Do things that
nourish your spirits and trust that learning will happen...in it's own
way and time.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Kara Cassidy <dachac3@...>
i have not posted much but i need some advice my kids are 14 and 12 my
son who is 14 is just now picking up reading my 12 year old will not
even try she is not reading at all he is ADHD and has dyslexea so i
under stand her frustration and i am not pushing it but i am geting a
lot of greaf from family members about them not being up with the
other kids
-=-=-=-=-=-
You can tell the family members several things:
"Butt OUT! They're my kids, not yours."
"We'll try this for a year and see how it works. If it doesn't, we'll
try something else. They won't be 'ruined' in just one year."
"If you'd like to learn more about unschooling, I'd be happy to give
you books and links and magazines and articles and essays. After you've
completed all the homework I've given you, THEN we can talk rationally
and intelligently about it."
"I've done the research on unschooling, and we're doing it now. Until
*you* have done the research, you are uninformed and misinformed."
"Unschooling has made *such* a difference in the kids' attitudes about
learning! It's just amazing---they can't get enough of it!"
"Thanks for your advice. Please pass the bean dip."
-=-=-=-=-=-
we are new to unschooling i have TRYED to home school them
for a few years and it has been nothing but yelling and throwing
books riping up papper etc. so i am giveing unschooling a try they do
seem to be less streesed and so am i i have seen them do stuff on
there own here lately like looking stuff up on line about stuff they
are interested in with my help becouse of the reading thing i guess
what i am asking is any one else dealing with reading issues and how
are you handling it?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Duncan is eleven and can read almost everything. He's *one step* from
being a full reader.
He doesn't want me to read books to him right now (but when Harry comes
out next month, he'll have me glued to my glasses! <G>), but he still
asks that I read things that flash by on the tv screen and some things
on the computer.
I read them to him. All the time. Usually the next time he sees that
same thing, he can read it.
It's a process. One I'm happy to nurture along at whatever pace is
comfortable for him.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: Kara Cassidy <dachac3@...>
i have not posted much but i need some advice my kids are 14 and 12 my
son who is 14 is just now picking up reading my 12 year old will not
even try she is not reading at all he is ADHD and has dyslexea so i
under stand her frustration and i am not pushing it but i am geting a
lot of greaf from family members about them not being up with the
other kids
-=-=-=-=-=-
You can tell the family members several things:
"Butt OUT! They're my kids, not yours."
"We'll try this for a year and see how it works. If it doesn't, we'll
try something else. They won't be 'ruined' in just one year."
"If you'd like to learn more about unschooling, I'd be happy to give
you books and links and magazines and articles and essays. After you've
completed all the homework I've given you, THEN we can talk rationally
and intelligently about it."
"I've done the research on unschooling, and we're doing it now. Until
*you* have done the research, you are uninformed and misinformed."
"Unschooling has made *such* a difference in the kids' attitudes about
learning! It's just amazing---they can't get enough of it!"
"Thanks for your advice. Please pass the bean dip."
-=-=-=-=-=-
we are new to unschooling i have TRYED to home school them
for a few years and it has been nothing but yelling and throwing
books riping up papper etc. so i am giveing unschooling a try they do
seem to be less streesed and so am i i have seen them do stuff on
there own here lately like looking stuff up on line about stuff they
are interested in with my help becouse of the reading thing i guess
what i am asking is any one else dealing with reading issues and how
are you handling it?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Duncan is eleven and can read almost everything. He's *one step* from
being a full reader.
He doesn't want me to read books to him right now (but when Harry comes
out next month, he'll have me glued to my glasses! <G>), but he still
asks that I read things that flash by on the tv screen and some things
on the computer.
I read them to him. All the time. Usually the next time he sees that
same thing, he can read it.
It's a process. One I'm happy to nurture along at whatever pace is
comfortable for him.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
frozenandcold
My 11-year old JUST started to read over the past three months or
so. Over the last couple years he has progressed, very slowly, in
that area but we just let him be, knowing that he would learn when he
was ready. He went from hardly reading at all to reading everything,
almost overnight- literally!
What is interesting to me, comparing my oldest, who was an early
reader to Tristan who was a late reader, is that Kevin went through
the whole "inventive" spelling phase. He would write but you had to
try really hard to decipher what he was trying to say - we were just
reading some of his stuff the other day and getting some chuckles.
Tristan is not doing that like Kev did. Tristan asks how to spell
things when he is writing and, for the most part, knows how things
are spelled because he didn't really learn how to read by phonics,
like Kev did. And because he is so much older I guess it is more
important to him to spell it right, I don't know.
The process with Tristan has been a lot less painful for me. I know
Tristan had some frustrations at times with really wanting to know
how to read but not being ready, and knowing that. But for me it
just seemed like a natural process without some of the awkwardness
that is associated with a new reader.
And in regards to the ADHD and Dyslexia, Tristan definitely has some
issues in that regards too. We choose not to slap a label on him but
certainly, if he was in school, he would have been labeled with a
learning disability. My husband had dyslexia too and he didn't learn
how to read until about 10, in the public school system! Relax, and
it will happen just as it is supposed to. If you push, they will
only learn how to hate reading.
Heidi
so. Over the last couple years he has progressed, very slowly, in
that area but we just let him be, knowing that he would learn when he
was ready. He went from hardly reading at all to reading everything,
almost overnight- literally!
What is interesting to me, comparing my oldest, who was an early
reader to Tristan who was a late reader, is that Kevin went through
the whole "inventive" spelling phase. He would write but you had to
try really hard to decipher what he was trying to say - we were just
reading some of his stuff the other day and getting some chuckles.
Tristan is not doing that like Kev did. Tristan asks how to spell
things when he is writing and, for the most part, knows how things
are spelled because he didn't really learn how to read by phonics,
like Kev did. And because he is so much older I guess it is more
important to him to spell it right, I don't know.
The process with Tristan has been a lot less painful for me. I know
Tristan had some frustrations at times with really wanting to know
how to read but not being ready, and knowing that. But for me it
just seemed like a natural process without some of the awkwardness
that is associated with a new reader.
And in regards to the ADHD and Dyslexia, Tristan definitely has some
issues in that regards too. We choose not to slap a label on him but
certainly, if he was in school, he would have been labeled with a
learning disability. My husband had dyslexia too and he didn't learn
how to read until about 10, in the public school system! Relax, and
it will happen just as it is supposed to. If you push, they will
only learn how to hate reading.
Heidi
amshotwell
Hi Kara,
I have been a lurker here and I admit I have not fully embraced
unschooling but I am fascinated by it and am learning so much by
reading answers to questions on this board. Thanks to all you wise and
wonderful people. What I wanted to tell you I realize may not be
generally accepted by the group but I feel there are aspects of it
that have been helpful to my son.
I initially started to homeschool my 9yo ds for dyslexia (he is
probably ADD too but never diagnosed I see no need at this point) in
Sept 06. and our journey has brought us here to the unschooling board
and a very free and self directed atmosphere at home. Perhaps we are
deschooling but I have not committed to the saying it just yet, but
that is a whole other post:^). I have been hoping to come across
unschoolers with dyslexia and hear how they may have transitioned from
a ps or homeschool situations and your experiences. So if you are out
there would love to hear from you.
I am also lucky that I have no outside family interference regarding
my choices of schooling at this point, so I am of no help there other
than to say, If you are happy and your kids are happy with how they
are learning ignore the outsiders input.
This is one thing I have done to help my ds with his dyslexia and
thought since you asked I would put it out there. Are you familiar
with Ron Davis and his book The Gift of Dyslexia, he created Davis
Dyslexia Correction Program. I found this to be an effective way for
my son to deal with his learning style. Ron Davis discusses how a
dyslexic thinks in pictures, they are visual, multi-dimensional
thinkers. I bet your kids are very imaginative and creative love
building things with their hands but have little interest in reading
or writing and possibly math. My son would rather draw than write and
at this point I encourage it. Yes there are some schooly aspects of
the program. They mold the alphabet in clay as well as punctuation and
then sight words. Davis explains that because a dyslexic think in
pictures, sight word are hard to memorize as there is no picture for
them. So they must create a 3d image of what they feel the word means
after hearing the definition. [ My son was so proud in Kindergarten he
could spell cat by 2nd grade that is the only word he would spell if
we played hangman or something. He got A's on his spelling test after
intense night before drill but could not recall or spell the words
after that]. This follow up work of clay words was great at first, but
soon the novelty wore off so we eventually stopped doing as my son
grew weary of it. This is what made me look even further into more
relaxed and self directed learning.
The things it improved were his ability to focus, and I am not talking
about reading or doing school work( although this has improved for
other greatly), I am talking....being able to find his shoes,
following directions, paying attention in Tae Kwon Do, got his green
stripe 3 months faster etc..is it perfect no he is nine but they are
better and these are thing he wanted to be better at and this is how
he applied his new knowledge. He felt better about himself that he
could understand his learning style and ways to help him deal with it.
He feels smart now not stupid which is how he felt in school. I have
taken to creating an atmosphere that my son likes to learn by
appealing to him through these outlets. He watches documentaries of
his choosing, for the last 3 weeks he obsessively watched anything on
dinosaurs. Loves shows Bonehead detectives, Prehistoric Planet etc. I
no longer sit and force him to read if he does not want to. I read to
him when he is interested. OKay people here is the part don't shoot me
for :-)! I do ask him to do an www.time4learning.com a couple of time
a week which he likes and if he is not in the mood I do not force him.
What I find in most adult dyslexic success stories is that even after
years of remediation that never really got them anywhere but feeling
lost and inadequate they finally learned to compensate and deal with
their issues when they were interested in really learning and no one
was forcing them. Usually high school or college age. So I keep
reading up and encouraging him where I can and let his natural love of
learning bloom.
The one thing about Davis I forgot to mention is the disorientation.
Davis explains that dyslexics experience by varying degrees a
disorientation which causes the symptoms of dyslexia. My son cries
very easily depending on the situation can get confused very easily
and processes verbal information slowly. They teach a dyslexic to use
his highly visual mind to align his body and stop the disorientation.
It sound like mumbo jumbo but it works. Add to this a simple breathing
exercise of blowing out a breath and releasing the stress, This was
HUGE for him. Is he still hyper sensitive oh yes.. but now he has
coping tools. You can learn and do these things on your own it is all
the book or you can work with a facilitator which can run you
2500-4000. A facilitator would evaluate if they think you are a
candidate, the visualization and maturity can be a deciding factor and
the child or adult absolutely has to want to do it. There is nothing
coerced about it.
Oh yeah since I do not bother Jake about reading he now reads on his
own or at least tries to.
Anne Marie
mom to Jake (9) Ian (5) & Shaun (3)
http://among-the-wildflowers.blogspot.com/
I have been a lurker here and I admit I have not fully embraced
unschooling but I am fascinated by it and am learning so much by
reading answers to questions on this board. Thanks to all you wise and
wonderful people. What I wanted to tell you I realize may not be
generally accepted by the group but I feel there are aspects of it
that have been helpful to my son.
I initially started to homeschool my 9yo ds for dyslexia (he is
probably ADD too but never diagnosed I see no need at this point) in
Sept 06. and our journey has brought us here to the unschooling board
and a very free and self directed atmosphere at home. Perhaps we are
deschooling but I have not committed to the saying it just yet, but
that is a whole other post:^). I have been hoping to come across
unschoolers with dyslexia and hear how they may have transitioned from
a ps or homeschool situations and your experiences. So if you are out
there would love to hear from you.
I am also lucky that I have no outside family interference regarding
my choices of schooling at this point, so I am of no help there other
than to say, If you are happy and your kids are happy with how they
are learning ignore the outsiders input.
This is one thing I have done to help my ds with his dyslexia and
thought since you asked I would put it out there. Are you familiar
with Ron Davis and his book The Gift of Dyslexia, he created Davis
Dyslexia Correction Program. I found this to be an effective way for
my son to deal with his learning style. Ron Davis discusses how a
dyslexic thinks in pictures, they are visual, multi-dimensional
thinkers. I bet your kids are very imaginative and creative love
building things with their hands but have little interest in reading
or writing and possibly math. My son would rather draw than write and
at this point I encourage it. Yes there are some schooly aspects of
the program. They mold the alphabet in clay as well as punctuation and
then sight words. Davis explains that because a dyslexic think in
pictures, sight word are hard to memorize as there is no picture for
them. So they must create a 3d image of what they feel the word means
after hearing the definition. [ My son was so proud in Kindergarten he
could spell cat by 2nd grade that is the only word he would spell if
we played hangman or something. He got A's on his spelling test after
intense night before drill but could not recall or spell the words
after that]. This follow up work of clay words was great at first, but
soon the novelty wore off so we eventually stopped doing as my son
grew weary of it. This is what made me look even further into more
relaxed and self directed learning.
The things it improved were his ability to focus, and I am not talking
about reading or doing school work( although this has improved for
other greatly), I am talking....being able to find his shoes,
following directions, paying attention in Tae Kwon Do, got his green
stripe 3 months faster etc..is it perfect no he is nine but they are
better and these are thing he wanted to be better at and this is how
he applied his new knowledge. He felt better about himself that he
could understand his learning style and ways to help him deal with it.
He feels smart now not stupid which is how he felt in school. I have
taken to creating an atmosphere that my son likes to learn by
appealing to him through these outlets. He watches documentaries of
his choosing, for the last 3 weeks he obsessively watched anything on
dinosaurs. Loves shows Bonehead detectives, Prehistoric Planet etc. I
no longer sit and force him to read if he does not want to. I read to
him when he is interested. OKay people here is the part don't shoot me
for :-)! I do ask him to do an www.time4learning.com a couple of time
a week which he likes and if he is not in the mood I do not force him.
What I find in most adult dyslexic success stories is that even after
years of remediation that never really got them anywhere but feeling
lost and inadequate they finally learned to compensate and deal with
their issues when they were interested in really learning and no one
was forcing them. Usually high school or college age. So I keep
reading up and encouraging him where I can and let his natural love of
learning bloom.
The one thing about Davis I forgot to mention is the disorientation.
Davis explains that dyslexics experience by varying degrees a
disorientation which causes the symptoms of dyslexia. My son cries
very easily depending on the situation can get confused very easily
and processes verbal information slowly. They teach a dyslexic to use
his highly visual mind to align his body and stop the disorientation.
It sound like mumbo jumbo but it works. Add to this a simple breathing
exercise of blowing out a breath and releasing the stress, This was
HUGE for him. Is he still hyper sensitive oh yes.. but now he has
coping tools. You can learn and do these things on your own it is all
the book or you can work with a facilitator which can run you
2500-4000. A facilitator would evaluate if they think you are a
candidate, the visualization and maturity can be a deciding factor and
the child or adult absolutely has to want to do it. There is nothing
coerced about it.
Oh yeah since I do not bother Jake about reading he now reads on his
own or at least tries to.
Anne Marie
mom to Jake (9) Ian (5) & Shaun (3)
http://among-the-wildflowers.blogspot.com/
Janet
I have a 20yo son who has always been unschooled. He was a very late
(in terms of "normal") reader - about 11 before he started. He has
two older brothers who read at 6 and 7, but I honestly rarely worried
about the third (because I was very comfortable in our unschooling
and knew he would read when he was ready!) It was when he was about
15 or 16 that I discovered he probably had dyslexia! He was (and
still is) incredibly artsy and very creative. (For the last couple of
years he's been a cell phone game artist for a cell phone game
programmer in Israel. We lived in MN, the boss lives in Israel - they
did all their work over the internet.) When he was about 15 or 16 we
were helping someone move and he was labeling the boxes - and every
number he wrote was a perfect mirror image! It was then that I
learned a little bit about dyslexia and he did seem to have traits
associated with it. We never did do anything about it... and he's
certainly fully able to read and to function - he doesn't write much
(except on the computer LOL) and he got all As in his college
composition classes. Now I have another little dd who is 9 and is
struggling to read. We are not pushing her, but she wants to so
badly! She actually told me that the letters move around on the page!
It seems if we can slow her down a little, she does OK, but it's very
frustrating for her. I am interested in reading more about Ron Davis
and his book The Gift of Dyslexia. This might give us some tools to
help my dd over some of her stumbling blocks. She too is extremely
creative and very visual.
herself - even though she's obviously very different from several of
her siblings! I want her to understand her learning style and see
that "it's OK."
What I find in most adult dyslexic success stories is that even after
learned to deal with it (even though we didn't really know it was
there until quite late!) and he's certainly compensating marvelously.
Janet in MN
(in terms of "normal") reader - about 11 before he started. He has
two older brothers who read at 6 and 7, but I honestly rarely worried
about the third (because I was very comfortable in our unschooling
and knew he would read when he was ready!) It was when he was about
15 or 16 that I discovered he probably had dyslexia! He was (and
still is) incredibly artsy and very creative. (For the last couple of
years he's been a cell phone game artist for a cell phone game
programmer in Israel. We lived in MN, the boss lives in Israel - they
did all their work over the internet.) When he was about 15 or 16 we
were helping someone move and he was labeling the boxes - and every
number he wrote was a perfect mirror image! It was then that I
learned a little bit about dyslexia and he did seem to have traits
associated with it. We never did do anything about it... and he's
certainly fully able to read and to function - he doesn't write much
(except on the computer LOL) and he got all As in his college
composition classes. Now I have another little dd who is 9 and is
struggling to read. We are not pushing her, but she wants to so
badly! She actually told me that the letters move around on the page!
It seems if we can slow her down a little, she does OK, but it's very
frustrating for her. I am interested in reading more about Ron Davis
and his book The Gift of Dyslexia. This might give us some tools to
help my dd over some of her stumbling blocks. She too is extremely
creative and very visual.
>He felt better about himself that heThis is exactly what I want for my dd. To feel comfortable with
>could understand his learning style and ways to help him deal with it.
herself - even though she's obviously very different from several of
her siblings! I want her to understand her learning style and see
that "it's OK."
What I find in most adult dyslexic success stories is that even after
>years of remediation that never really got them anywhere but feelingThis is what I think happened to my boy with dyslexia. He just
>lost and inadequate they finally learned to compensate and deal with
>their issues when they were interested in really learning and no one
>was forcing them.
learned to deal with it (even though we didn't really know it was
there until quite late!) and he's certainly compensating marvelously.
Janet in MN
Deb Lewis
***The things it improved were his ability to focus, and I am not talking
about reading or doing school work( although this has improved for
other greatly), I am talking....being able to find his shoes,
following directions, paying attention in Tae Kwon Do, got his green
stripe 3 months faster etc***
Those things would have changed anyway. People get better at, or lose
interest in different things their whole life long.
If I don't like to bake bread will making loaves of clay help me like it?
If I don't want to fold laundry will folding clay help me? If I want to
ride a unicycle and haven't learned yet will making unicycles out of clay
help me?
If I don't like to bake bread, I'll get bread from the store. If I don't
want to fold laundry, I'll leave it in the basket. If I want to learn to
ride a unicycle I'll get a unicycle and start learning to balance.
People do what they're *ready* to do, where they're ready to do it. People
do what interests them or what they have a good reason to do. People learn
to read because of exposure to the written language - which is unavoidable
in our culture- and because reading is useful.
We're not here to make every kid the same as every other kid. The idea
that there is time frame or a way of learning to read (or do anything
else's) that is right and anything outside that time frame is "late" "wrong"
disordered" "disabled" "dyslexic," whatever, is a school idea.
***He felt better about himself that he
could understand his learning style and ways to help him deal with it.
He feels smart now not stupid which is how he felt in school. ***
I think kids would feel better about themselves altogether if they never
even heard of "learning styles." If they just knew (because they never
heard otherwise) that all people are born perfectly suited to be humans and
all will learn what they need to learn. I think the majority of kids who
worry about learning, do so because adults (usually teachers) make it known
in subtle and overt ways that there is "a way" to learn, and be, and if
they're not that particular way they're wrong. If a kid says he wishes he
could read it would be better for a mom to say "You will, and until you do
I'll read for you and to you and lets go for a hike.(or a swim or a bike
ride)," than for a mom to say, "Ok, lets find a program that fits your
learning style."
No matter how relaxed, a mom who thinks she's going to help her child learn
to read with a program that fits his learning style, that mom is going to
become teacherly. Teachers almost always end up making little kids feel
like there's something wrong with them.
When kids are worried about reading that should be a the mom's cue to find
lots of fun stuff to do that doesn't involve reading. Go outside and play
Frisbee. Climb trees, go get ice cream, rent a boat, make dirt angels,
stand on your head, have a water balloon fight. Don't focus on the thing
that already has a kid feeling bad about himself. Do something different
and fill up that kid's life with so much joy that reading is at the way back
of his mind and the very bottom of his list of things to worry over.
***OKay people here is the part don't shoot me
for :-)! I do ask him to do an www.time4learning.com a couple of time
a week which he likes and if he is not in the mood I do not force him.***
We won't shoot you but we do get to talk about it since you brought it here.
<g>
Why do want him to do this particular thing?
Why do you think of learning as something one must make time for?
What do you think that site will do for him that play wouldn't?
Deb Lewis
about reading or doing school work( although this has improved for
other greatly), I am talking....being able to find his shoes,
following directions, paying attention in Tae Kwon Do, got his green
stripe 3 months faster etc***
Those things would have changed anyway. People get better at, or lose
interest in different things their whole life long.
If I don't like to bake bread will making loaves of clay help me like it?
If I don't want to fold laundry will folding clay help me? If I want to
ride a unicycle and haven't learned yet will making unicycles out of clay
help me?
If I don't like to bake bread, I'll get bread from the store. If I don't
want to fold laundry, I'll leave it in the basket. If I want to learn to
ride a unicycle I'll get a unicycle and start learning to balance.
People do what they're *ready* to do, where they're ready to do it. People
do what interests them or what they have a good reason to do. People learn
to read because of exposure to the written language - which is unavoidable
in our culture- and because reading is useful.
We're not here to make every kid the same as every other kid. The idea
that there is time frame or a way of learning to read (or do anything
else's) that is right and anything outside that time frame is "late" "wrong"
disordered" "disabled" "dyslexic," whatever, is a school idea.
***He felt better about himself that he
could understand his learning style and ways to help him deal with it.
He feels smart now not stupid which is how he felt in school. ***
I think kids would feel better about themselves altogether if they never
even heard of "learning styles." If they just knew (because they never
heard otherwise) that all people are born perfectly suited to be humans and
all will learn what they need to learn. I think the majority of kids who
worry about learning, do so because adults (usually teachers) make it known
in subtle and overt ways that there is "a way" to learn, and be, and if
they're not that particular way they're wrong. If a kid says he wishes he
could read it would be better for a mom to say "You will, and until you do
I'll read for you and to you and lets go for a hike.(or a swim or a bike
ride)," than for a mom to say, "Ok, lets find a program that fits your
learning style."
No matter how relaxed, a mom who thinks she's going to help her child learn
to read with a program that fits his learning style, that mom is going to
become teacherly. Teachers almost always end up making little kids feel
like there's something wrong with them.
When kids are worried about reading that should be a the mom's cue to find
lots of fun stuff to do that doesn't involve reading. Go outside and play
Frisbee. Climb trees, go get ice cream, rent a boat, make dirt angels,
stand on your head, have a water balloon fight. Don't focus on the thing
that already has a kid feeling bad about himself. Do something different
and fill up that kid's life with so much joy that reading is at the way back
of his mind and the very bottom of his list of things to worry over.
***OKay people here is the part don't shoot me
for :-)! I do ask him to do an www.time4learning.com a couple of time
a week which he likes and if he is not in the mood I do not force him.***
We won't shoot you but we do get to talk about it since you brought it here.
<g>
Why do want him to do this particular thing?
Why do you think of learning as something one must make time for?
What do you think that site will do for him that play wouldn't?
Deb Lewis
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "amshotwell" <amshot@...>
wrote:
I think it can be really valuble for parents to do some research on
different learning styles and personality types and think about
those things in relation to our kids - especially if we have a kid
who doesn't seem to learn the way *we* do. Programs like the one
described above are *a* way of approaching different learning
styles. Not terribly trusting of a child's natural ability to learn,
but certainly an attempt to understand *how* particular children
learn best.
Here are some links to information on learning styles and
personality types:
http://www.chaminade.org/inspire/learnstl.htm
http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/mi/dickinson_mi.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence
http://www.funderstanding.com/learning_styles.cfm
http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html
http://www.9types.com/
Kind of a mixed bag - I don't recommend or even *like* all these
theories, personally. Different theories will make sense to
different people.
---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)
wrote:
>My son would rather draw than write andand
> at this point I encourage it. Yes there are some schooly aspects of
> the program. They mold the alphabet in clay as well as punctuation
> then sight words. Davis explains that because a dyslexic think infor
> pictures, sight word are hard to memorize as there is no picture
> them. So they must create a 3d image of what they feel the wordmeans
I think it can be really valuble for parents to do some research on
different learning styles and personality types and think about
those things in relation to our kids - especially if we have a kid
who doesn't seem to learn the way *we* do. Programs like the one
described above are *a* way of approaching different learning
styles. Not terribly trusting of a child's natural ability to learn,
but certainly an attempt to understand *how* particular children
learn best.
Here are some links to information on learning styles and
personality types:
http://www.chaminade.org/inspire/learnstl.htm
http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/mi/dickinson_mi.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence
http://www.funderstanding.com/learning_styles.cfm
http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html
http://www.9types.com/
Kind of a mixed bag - I don't recommend or even *like* all these
theories, personally. Different theories will make sense to
different people.
---Meredith (Mo 5.5, Ray 13)
Cameron Parham
Janet, There is website for The Gift of Dyslexia and you can find out if there is a trainer in their method in your area. I am generally against such labels but I also wanted to give my kids all the tools they wanted to use. There was a trainer in their method 1 hour away even in Montana. He met us one evening on a river bank and as we picniked he visited with the kids. I have one child who has expressed considerable frustration over her reading (she is 10) but they all participated. I presented this exactly as I imagined it: a different way to learn things, especially reading, that they might enjoy learning about. When my son was 10 and couldn't yet ride a bike he wanted help with this. So we visited an occupational therapist who worked on balance and coordination. He enjoyed her and there were no labels on the experience. My dd decided that for now she 'didn't want to learn this guy's way of reading' and we didn't, but she knows that she could pick to do this or
something else later. She sees this like art lessons you might choose, etc. I did like some of the book's concrete ideas for the kids when they were younger, like making letters and numbers out of clay, so that it is a tactile and visual experience. Em liked knowing that she could decide whether this fit for her or not, too. I sometimes think that my own dyslexia was better off unnoticed (drove me crazy in math) but I wonder if I had labeled myself if I'd have pursued my desire to go to med school as bravely! Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
something else later. She sees this like art lessons you might choose, etc. I did like some of the book's concrete ideas for the kids when they were younger, like making letters and numbers out of clay, so that it is a tactile and visual experience. Em liked knowing that she could decide whether this fit for her or not, too. I sometimes think that my own dyslexia was better off unnoticed (drove me crazy in math) but I wonder if I had labeled myself if I'd have pursued my desire to go to med school as bravely! Cameron
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Cameron Parham <acsp2205@...>
but I wonder if I had labeled myself if I'd have
pursued my desire to go to med school as bravely!
=-=-=-=-=-
I think this is HUGE!!!
I think that, too often, children who get labeled can use it as---if
not the excuse, then---the *reason* for not pursuing new and different
things. I think that, too often, children are stopped from taking risks
and daring to be (as Cameron put it) *brave* because sometime,
somewhere *someone* put it into their heads thay they weren't worthy or
capable or "normal" even.
*Normal* is relative---and relative to an individual. What's normal for
me isn't normal for Cameron or Duncan or Ben---or even my beagle,
SodaPop. If each person is an individual, then he can pursue his
interests behind or ahead of other individuals---or not!
Reading late or early or "right on time" (BAH!!!) is no indicator of
intelligence or capabilities. It's simply the time that *that*
individual was ready to read.
If a child is accepted EXACTLY Where He Is NOW throughout his life (or
at least his *childhood*), he won't know that he can't pursue new
and/or difficult things. But if he begins to *doubt* his capabilities,
he may stop right there.
I've met many adults who won't try things because they're afraid of
failing or because they are afraid of finding out that others were
right---they can't. I can't handle being around these people for a long
period of time because they don't DO.
If I could give my children anything (one of the *many* anythings <g>),
it would be the knowledge that they CAN. Doesn't matter when or why or
how: just the possibility that they are capable (and brave)! <g> When
and IF are up to them.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
From: Cameron Parham <acsp2205@...>
but I wonder if I had labeled myself if I'd have
pursued my desire to go to med school as bravely!
=-=-=-=-=-
I think this is HUGE!!!
I think that, too often, children who get labeled can use it as---if
not the excuse, then---the *reason* for not pursuing new and different
things. I think that, too often, children are stopped from taking risks
and daring to be (as Cameron put it) *brave* because sometime,
somewhere *someone* put it into their heads thay they weren't worthy or
capable or "normal" even.
*Normal* is relative---and relative to an individual. What's normal for
me isn't normal for Cameron or Duncan or Ben---or even my beagle,
SodaPop. If each person is an individual, then he can pursue his
interests behind or ahead of other individuals---or not!
Reading late or early or "right on time" (BAH!!!) is no indicator of
intelligence or capabilities. It's simply the time that *that*
individual was ready to read.
If a child is accepted EXACTLY Where He Is NOW throughout his life (or
at least his *childhood*), he won't know that he can't pursue new
and/or difficult things. But if he begins to *doubt* his capabilities,
he may stop right there.
I've met many adults who won't try things because they're afraid of
failing or because they are afraid of finding out that others were
right---they can't. I can't handle being around these people for a long
period of time because they don't DO.
If I could give my children anything (one of the *many* anythings <g>),
it would be the knowledge that they CAN. Doesn't matter when or why or
how: just the possibility that they are capable (and brave)! <g> When
and IF are up to them.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free
from AOL at AOL.com.
amshotwell
I did put it out there so I don't mind answering.
AM said--improved were his ability to focus...following directions,
paying attention
Deb said--Those things would have changed anyway.
Yes at this point I rather agree with you but at the time we decided
to do Davis I was not in any kind of unschooling type of mind and
still very schooly in my approach to homeschooling and helping Jake
with his learning issues. Given what I know now I may very well have
not done the program, but I do not regret it either. I am letting my
son teach me what he needs and I am learning to listen. So we are
evolving and growing. I do think he gained some positive things and
that is why I chose to share them since someone asked. What I did not
touch too much on is my son is very sensitive and cries very easy. He
misses a lot of information because his mind wanders he is very
imaginative,day-dreamy but when he snaps back and he has missed things
it upsets him. Some of these simple exercises simply help him deal
with his emotions. Is this due to his dyslexia? maybe maybe not, His
dyslexia is no longer a priority focus. Having a happy kid is. One
boost to his self esteem I must say was he is thrilled to know that
people like Einstein and Edison were out of the box thinkers just like
him who could not read when they were young. Jake is very much into
science, history and inventing things and keeps a picture journal of
his inventions.
Deb said - ...I'll read for you and to you and lets go for a hike.(or
a swim or a bike
This is where we are now.
Deb said - Teachers almost always end up making little kids feel
like there's something wrong with them.
This is so what I am learning!
Deb said - Why do want him to do this particular thing?
Why do you think of learning as something one must make time for?
What do you think that site will do for him that play wouldn't?
To appease my husband and I admit part of me is not ready to
completely let go of that schooly part of me. I am just not there yet.
My husband is very conservative and not at all ready to embrace the
idea of unschooling. Some days I still feel the need to be able to say
we did xyz today. I am working on my husband slowlyas well as myself.
I would love to homeschool/possibly unschool all my children, but at
this point my 5yo ds does go to ps kindergarten and my husband wants
him to go to 1st grade:-(. It took him a bit of convincing just to try
homeschool in general with Jake. So I am working on him. I feel that
if we were in agreement about it then I perhaps would feel better
about letting go.
So there it is, Again I do feel it is an evolution, the stronger I
feel about it, the more I let go it becomes a part of me/us, I am
hoping my husband will come to see it too.
I am sorry if perhaps I should not have posted not really ready to
embrace but I really am learning so much from all of you. To all who
posted about their dyslexia experiences, I really enjoyed hearing what
you had to say and knowing you guys are out there!
Anne Marie
Mom to Jake(9)Ian(5)and Shaun(3)
http://among-the-wildflowers.blogspot.com/
AM said--improved were his ability to focus...following directions,
paying attention
Deb said--Those things would have changed anyway.
Yes at this point I rather agree with you but at the time we decided
to do Davis I was not in any kind of unschooling type of mind and
still very schooly in my approach to homeschooling and helping Jake
with his learning issues. Given what I know now I may very well have
not done the program, but I do not regret it either. I am letting my
son teach me what he needs and I am learning to listen. So we are
evolving and growing. I do think he gained some positive things and
that is why I chose to share them since someone asked. What I did not
touch too much on is my son is very sensitive and cries very easy. He
misses a lot of information because his mind wanders he is very
imaginative,day-dreamy but when he snaps back and he has missed things
it upsets him. Some of these simple exercises simply help him deal
with his emotions. Is this due to his dyslexia? maybe maybe not, His
dyslexia is no longer a priority focus. Having a happy kid is. One
boost to his self esteem I must say was he is thrilled to know that
people like Einstein and Edison were out of the box thinkers just like
him who could not read when they were young. Jake is very much into
science, history and inventing things and keeps a picture journal of
his inventions.
Deb said - ...I'll read for you and to you and lets go for a hike.(or
a swim or a bike
This is where we are now.
Deb said - Teachers almost always end up making little kids feel
like there's something wrong with them.
This is so what I am learning!
Deb said - Why do want him to do this particular thing?
Why do you think of learning as something one must make time for?
What do you think that site will do for him that play wouldn't?
To appease my husband and I admit part of me is not ready to
completely let go of that schooly part of me. I am just not there yet.
My husband is very conservative and not at all ready to embrace the
idea of unschooling. Some days I still feel the need to be able to say
we did xyz today. I am working on my husband slowlyas well as myself.
I would love to homeschool/possibly unschool all my children, but at
this point my 5yo ds does go to ps kindergarten and my husband wants
him to go to 1st grade:-(. It took him a bit of convincing just to try
homeschool in general with Jake. So I am working on him. I feel that
if we were in agreement about it then I perhaps would feel better
about letting go.
So there it is, Again I do feel it is an evolution, the stronger I
feel about it, the more I let go it becomes a part of me/us, I am
hoping my husband will come to see it too.
I am sorry if perhaps I should not have posted not really ready to
embrace but I really am learning so much from all of you. To all who
posted about their dyslexia experiences, I really enjoyed hearing what
you had to say and knowing you guys are out there!
Anne Marie
Mom to Jake(9)Ian(5)and Shaun(3)
http://among-the-wildflowers.blogspot.com/
Ren Allen
~~*Normal* is relative---and relative to an individual. ~~
My sister had a quote at her myspace for a while: "Normal is just a
cycle on your washing machine". :)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
My sister had a quote at her myspace for a while: "Normal is just a
cycle on your washing machine". :)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Deb Lewis
***What I did not
touch too much on is my son is very sensitive and cries very easy. He
misses a lot of information because his mind wanders he is very
imaginative,day-dreamy ...***
Maybe you don't know how really typical this is. Being sensitive is not a
symptom of a disorder. Everyone's mind wanders, especially children, it's
one reason they're so imaginative, they're not afraid of thinking. Day
dreamers are inventers and scientists. Really, where do you think new ideas
come from? They come from inside the heads of people who aren't afraid to
let their minds wander.
***but when he snaps back and he has missed things
it upsets him. Some of these simple exercises simply help him deal
with his emotions.***
Is it possible he feels bad because people have pointed out he was "day
dreaming" and all the negative connotations that can come with that?
And "snaps back" implies one state is good and normal and one state is to be
avoided. It would be better for both of you if you could see that the way
he is is just right, doesn't need fixing, doesn't need work.
***To appease my husband ...***
There was a recent thread about husbands and it was suggested that some
husbands find the writing at Joyce Fetteroll's web site appealing because
Joyce approaches things from a logical perspective without a bunch of
touchy-feely emotional ooze. http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/ Will he read
articles and interesting posts if you print them out for him? I filled
several three ring binders with things for dh David to read. I stacked John
Holt books on his night stand. I don't know how much he really read, I
suspect at some point he decided it was easier to go along with me than to
be buried under reading material. <g>
***I admit part of me is not ready to
completely let go of that schooly part of me. ***
The longer you hold on to the schooly stuff the more you reinforce in your
kid that certain kinds of learning are better and more valuable than other
kinds, and the more you reinforce the belief that learning is something that
has to be done *to* a child. You will see learning everywhere once you let
go of school ideas. You can't do both. You can stay where you are, but
unschooling will never really take off the way it has for lot's of families
if you're too afraid to close the door on the school.
***My husband is very conservative and not at all ready to embrace the
idea of unschooling. ***
My husband compared Dylan to himself when he was Dylan's age and to other
kids we knew who were Dylan's age. David has nephews and nieces close to
Dylan's age and their moms really filled David up with news about the kids
and what they were doing in school. The hardest times for me were when they
would come visit. David would start to feel like Dylan wasn't doing
anything. What changed that was having the kid around. (not the mom's <g>)
I invited the kids to stay during the summers. When David really lived
with other kids and could see them in the same situations with Dylan he
realized that Dylan wasn't behind or missing anything. The stories about
the kids in school seemed a little sad to David after that.
***Some days I still feel the need to be able to say
we did xyz today.***
Some people have found keeping a journal of what their kid does during the
day has helped. In the files section of this group's home page, Pam
Sorooshian has posted an unschoolers record keeping document. You could
print it or look it over and tweak it to your liking and write notes on it
once a day or once a week and you'd have something to show your husband.
If you read to your son and play games with him and go for walks or hikes or
dig in the garden or plant a tree or watch a movie or help a neighbor or
volunteer at the animal shelter or food bank, or go visit the Mayor or the
fish and wild life biologist or tour the fire station, or refinish a chair,
or build a bird bath or go fishing, or go dig for crystals, or go catch
frogs at the creek... you'd have something to tell your husband too. <g>
***So there it is, Again I do feel it is an evolution, the stronger I
feel about it, the more I let go it becomes a part of me/us, I am
hoping my husband will come to see it too.***
Yes, it is a process. I want to gently remind you that you don't have an
infinite amount of time. Your son is getting older every day.
***I am sorry if perhaps I should not have posted not really ready to
embrace ***
Your post was fine. That's what the list is for! : )
Deb Lewis
touch too much on is my son is very sensitive and cries very easy. He
misses a lot of information because his mind wanders he is very
imaginative,day-dreamy ...***
Maybe you don't know how really typical this is. Being sensitive is not a
symptom of a disorder. Everyone's mind wanders, especially children, it's
one reason they're so imaginative, they're not afraid of thinking. Day
dreamers are inventers and scientists. Really, where do you think new ideas
come from? They come from inside the heads of people who aren't afraid to
let their minds wander.
***but when he snaps back and he has missed things
it upsets him. Some of these simple exercises simply help him deal
with his emotions.***
Is it possible he feels bad because people have pointed out he was "day
dreaming" and all the negative connotations that can come with that?
And "snaps back" implies one state is good and normal and one state is to be
avoided. It would be better for both of you if you could see that the way
he is is just right, doesn't need fixing, doesn't need work.
***To appease my husband ...***
There was a recent thread about husbands and it was suggested that some
husbands find the writing at Joyce Fetteroll's web site appealing because
Joyce approaches things from a logical perspective without a bunch of
touchy-feely emotional ooze. http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/ Will he read
articles and interesting posts if you print them out for him? I filled
several three ring binders with things for dh David to read. I stacked John
Holt books on his night stand. I don't know how much he really read, I
suspect at some point he decided it was easier to go along with me than to
be buried under reading material. <g>
***I admit part of me is not ready to
completely let go of that schooly part of me. ***
The longer you hold on to the schooly stuff the more you reinforce in your
kid that certain kinds of learning are better and more valuable than other
kinds, and the more you reinforce the belief that learning is something that
has to be done *to* a child. You will see learning everywhere once you let
go of school ideas. You can't do both. You can stay where you are, but
unschooling will never really take off the way it has for lot's of families
if you're too afraid to close the door on the school.
***My husband is very conservative and not at all ready to embrace the
idea of unschooling. ***
My husband compared Dylan to himself when he was Dylan's age and to other
kids we knew who were Dylan's age. David has nephews and nieces close to
Dylan's age and their moms really filled David up with news about the kids
and what they were doing in school. The hardest times for me were when they
would come visit. David would start to feel like Dylan wasn't doing
anything. What changed that was having the kid around. (not the mom's <g>)
I invited the kids to stay during the summers. When David really lived
with other kids and could see them in the same situations with Dylan he
realized that Dylan wasn't behind or missing anything. The stories about
the kids in school seemed a little sad to David after that.
***Some days I still feel the need to be able to say
we did xyz today.***
Some people have found keeping a journal of what their kid does during the
day has helped. In the files section of this group's home page, Pam
Sorooshian has posted an unschoolers record keeping document. You could
print it or look it over and tweak it to your liking and write notes on it
once a day or once a week and you'd have something to show your husband.
If you read to your son and play games with him and go for walks or hikes or
dig in the garden or plant a tree or watch a movie or help a neighbor or
volunteer at the animal shelter or food bank, or go visit the Mayor or the
fish and wild life biologist or tour the fire station, or refinish a chair,
or build a bird bath or go fishing, or go dig for crystals, or go catch
frogs at the creek... you'd have something to tell your husband too. <g>
***So there it is, Again I do feel it is an evolution, the stronger I
feel about it, the more I let go it becomes a part of me/us, I am
hoping my husband will come to see it too.***
Yes, it is a process. I want to gently remind you that you don't have an
infinite amount of time. Your son is getting older every day.
***I am sorry if perhaps I should not have posted not really ready to
embrace ***
Your post was fine. That's what the list is for! : )
Deb Lewis
amshotwell
Thanks Deb lots of insightful helpful things to think about. I really
appreciate your kind words and gentle encouragement. It is hard
describe on a list the complexities and personally of me my sons and
my husband but your advice has been very helpful for my journey.
unschooling family life. I have known them for years but oddly enough
never knew about the unschooling side of them. Reading her blog
inspired me to start one about us. I just have to be more diligent
about keeping it up:-). I will look into Pam's Journal keeping thanks
for the tip. I am very lucky to be in NJ where it is a free state to
homeschool in, so I have not felt the need to document too much in
that respect. Mostly to document my journey and am so glad I have. I
like to read where I come in such a short amount of time.
I also have joined Pam's nomorespanking list as I really am trying to
change my parenting style. There is a lot ingrained (and dh) in me and
it is a struggle every day to be more mindful. I find as I change how
I relate to the children my husband seems to be gentler too.
Peace
Anne Marie
Jake(9) Ian(5) Shaun(3)
http://among-the-wildflowers.blogspot.com/
appreciate your kind words and gentle encouragement. It is hard
describe on a list the complexities and personally of me my sons and
my husband but your advice has been very helpful for my journey.
>>>Some people have found keeping a journalI love my friend Danielle Congers Blog and reading about her
unschooling family life. I have known them for years but oddly enough
never knew about the unschooling side of them. Reading her blog
inspired me to start one about us. I just have to be more diligent
about keeping it up:-). I will look into Pam's Journal keeping thanks
for the tip. I am very lucky to be in NJ where it is a free state to
homeschool in, so I have not felt the need to document too much in
that respect. Mostly to document my journey and am so glad I have. I
like to read where I come in such a short amount of time.
I also have joined Pam's nomorespanking list as I really am trying to
change my parenting style. There is a lot ingrained (and dh) in me and
it is a struggle every day to be more mindful. I find as I change how
I relate to the children my husband seems to be gentler too.
Peace
Anne Marie
Jake(9) Ian(5) Shaun(3)
http://among-the-wildflowers.blogspot.com/
Deborah Greenspan
For the numbers moving on the page.
It could be an eye muscle weakness, which is in the category of visual
efficiency (versus visual acuity or visual processing).
I suggest Vision therapy by a Pediatric Developmental Optometrist. It helped
my dd immensely!
Deborah :-)
*They are "educated" who have learned much, remembered much,
and make use of their knowledge in everyday life.
And of these lessons integrated into their life,
moral conscience is the most imperative to learn
and convey to others.
Their virtues give true meaning to education.*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It could be an eye muscle weakness, which is in the category of visual
efficiency (versus visual acuity or visual processing).
I suggest Vision therapy by a Pediatric Developmental Optometrist. It helped
my dd immensely!
Deborah :-)
*They are "educated" who have learned much, remembered much,
and make use of their knowledge in everyday life.
And of these lessons integrated into their life,
moral conscience is the most imperative to learn
and convey to others.
Their virtues give true meaning to education.*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Debra Rossing
>I am very lucky to be in NJ where it is a free state to homeschool inI grew up in NJ and now live in CT, another free state. I grew up near
the intersection of Rts 80, 46, and 287 in northern NJ and went to
college way down in southern NJ, not far from Philly.
Deb
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amshotwell
We live in Ocean Grove a few blocks from the beach in Central
Jersey...we are heading out to meet our homeschool/unschoolgroup for
our weekly beach get together:)
Although we both started out at other schools, I finished at Kean in
Union and my husband finished at NJIT in Newark.
Anne Marie
--- In [email protected], "Debra Rossing"
<debra.rossing@...> wrote:
Jersey...we are heading out to meet our homeschool/unschoolgroup for
our weekly beach get together:)
Although we both started out at other schools, I finished at Kean in
Union and my husband finished at NJIT in Newark.
Anne Marie
--- In [email protected], "Debra Rossing"
<debra.rossing@...> wrote:
>
> >I am very lucky to be in NJ where it is a free state to homeschool in
>
> I grew up in NJ and now live in CT, another free state. I grew up near
> the intersection of Rts 80, 46, and 287 in northern NJ and went to
> college way down in southern NJ, not far from Philly.
>
> Deb
>
> **********************************************************************
> This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
> intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
> are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
> the system manager.
>
> This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
> MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
>
> CNC Software, Inc.
> www.mastercam.com
> **********************************************************************
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Deb
--- In [email protected], "amshotwell" <amshot@...>
wrote:
roomie lived just a bit south of you in Belmar (I think she worked
on the boardwalk in Asbury during summers - there's a candy store
well-known for it's fudge that has a couple of different locations,
she worked in their smaller shop - I loved it when she came back to
school in the fall - she'd bring all sorts of fudge and turtles and
stuff-yum!). I did all 4 yrs of college at what was Glassboro State
College (now Rowan University).
--Deb
wrote:
>for
> We live in Ocean Grove a few blocks from the beach in Central
> Jersey...we are heading out to meet our homeschool/unschoolgroup
> our weekly beach get together:)in
>
> Although we both started out at other schools, I finished at Kean
> Union and my husband finished at NJIT in Newark.I have relatives in Keansburg, just south of Sandy Hook. A college
>
> Anne Marie
roomie lived just a bit south of you in Belmar (I think she worked
on the boardwalk in Asbury during summers - there's a candy store
well-known for it's fudge that has a couple of different locations,
she worked in their smaller shop - I loved it when she came back to
school in the fall - she'd bring all sorts of fudge and turtles and
stuff-yum!). I did all 4 yrs of college at what was Glassboro State
College (now Rowan University).
--Deb
aroundthemilkyway
thank you for this statement months ago. i came across it reading
back over old threads. this gift i hope i am giving my children. it
was a lovely reminder, thank you kelly!
~sarah
If I could give my children anything (one of the *many* anythings
<g>), it would be the knowledge that they CAN. Doesn't matter when or
why or how: just the possibility that they are capable (and brave)!
<g> When and IF are up to them.
~Kelly
back over old threads. this gift i hope i am giving my children. it
was a lovely reminder, thank you kelly!
~sarah
If I could give my children anything (one of the *many* anythings
<g>), it would be the knowledge that they CAN. Doesn't matter when or
why or how: just the possibility that they are capable (and brave)!
<g> When and IF are up to them.
~Kelly
hscomer
ok here is where I am at. My 7 yr old is refusing to learn to read i
mean i have tried everything and wanted to see if anyone else might
have some ideas. I have not pushed the issue but it is getting harder
to let her be independent in her learning when i am the one having to
do all the reading. Any and all suggestions are welcome thanks.
Bonnie
mean i have tried everything and wanted to see if anyone else might
have some ideas. I have not pushed the issue but it is getting harder
to let her be independent in her learning when i am the one having to
do all the reading. Any and all suggestions are welcome thanks.
Bonnie
Ren Allen
--- In [email protected], "hscomer" <hscomer@...> wrote:
contradictions in this post. Have you "tried everything" or have you
"not pushed the issue" ? Because they are two very different things.
Here at this list, we can help YOU relax and understand how natural
learning unfolds. We can't help you teach her to read though...that
will happen when she's good and ready. Reading to your child is a
privilege. She doesn't need to be pushed towards "independence"...it
comes with growth and development, not with pushing.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
>First of all, try to clarify what you really mean because there are
> ok here is where I am at. My 7 yr old is refusing to learn to read i
> mean i have tried everything and wanted to see if anyone else might
> have some ideas. I have not pushed the issue but it is getting harder
> to let her be independent in her learning when i am the one having to
> do all the reading. Any and all suggestions are welcome thanks.
>
> Bonnie
contradictions in this post. Have you "tried everything" or have you
"not pushed the issue" ? Because they are two very different things.
Here at this list, we can help YOU relax and understand how natural
learning unfolds. We can't help you teach her to read though...that
will happen when she's good and ready. Reading to your child is a
privilege. She doesn't need to be pushed towards "independence"...it
comes with growth and development, not with pushing.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Joyce Fetteroll
On May 30, 2008, at 10:39 PM, hscomer wrote:
everything."
An otherwise healthy 1 yo who is "refusing" to walk is
developmentally not ready to walk yet. The very best thing a mom can
do is back off and focus on what engages the child right now.
The only reason you believe that someone can make a 7 yo read is
because schools try to do it. And I suspect you believe, as most
parents do, that the 7 yos in school are actually reading. They
aren't. While there are some 7 yos who are developmentally ready to
read and do read by 7, there are loads of kids who are going through
the motions. The sad thing is that when development kicks in and
those kids do finally figure out reading, teachers and parents and
kids, are certain it was the teaching that finally worked (or the kid
stopped being lazy or stopped being resistant.)
The even sadder thing is that there are kids in school being
pressured to read when they won't be developmentally ready until they
are 12 or older. So for 6 years -- if the schools even provide
services that long! -- they gaining the impression there's something
wrong with them, that they're stupid or lazy. (Though some protect
themselves by deciding reading and school is stupid.)
The very best thing you can do is back off. To help you not worry,
read at:
http://sandradodd.com/reading
You also might get something out of:
http://sandradodd.com/joyce/talk
about why people find schools and curriculum so attractive.
demanding that she be allowed to learn independently and you're
refusing until she learns how to read?
Reading is only one way to learn. And, depending on the child's
learning style, not even the best. But books are worshiped as some
ultimate window on the world and everything else is a distant second.
I'm certainly not anti-book :-) (If you saw my house that thought
wouldn't even cross your mind!) But what I am is a supporter of
engagement as the best way to learn :-) Whether that engagement takes
the form of busy hands, observation, videos and TV, video and other
games, conversation, full body movement or whatever. It makes no
difference. What does make a difference is the child's interest in
what they're doing.
We assume schools are using the best methods to teach kids. They
aren't. They're using the most efficient way to impose a body of
knowledge on a mass of people. In order to allow schools to function
they must make huge sacrifices in what is best for the child. Even
most educators understand that the best environment to learn in is
one on one, not thirty on one. But schools can't do that. It would
cost too much.
And at 7 she shouldn't be learning independently. As an unschooler
she should be exploring the parts of the world that interest her with
you by her side to point out something else that might interest her,
share her joys of discovery, keep out of her way when she needs to
explore on her own, help her reach what she's reaching for if it's
out of her reach, run new things into her world that might interest
her (and be cool with it if she's not interested yet.)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> My 7 yr old is refusing to learn to read iThis is like saying "My 1 year old refuses to walk and I've tried
> mean i have tried everything and wanted to see if anyone else might
> have some ideas.
everything."
An otherwise healthy 1 yo who is "refusing" to walk is
developmentally not ready to walk yet. The very best thing a mom can
do is back off and focus on what engages the child right now.
The only reason you believe that someone can make a 7 yo read is
because schools try to do it. And I suspect you believe, as most
parents do, that the 7 yos in school are actually reading. They
aren't. While there are some 7 yos who are developmentally ready to
read and do read by 7, there are loads of kids who are going through
the motions. The sad thing is that when development kicks in and
those kids do finally figure out reading, teachers and parents and
kids, are certain it was the teaching that finally worked (or the kid
stopped being lazy or stopped being resistant.)
The even sadder thing is that there are kids in school being
pressured to read when they won't be developmentally ready until they
are 12 or older. So for 6 years -- if the schools even provide
services that long! -- they gaining the impression there's something
wrong with them, that they're stupid or lazy. (Though some protect
themselves by deciding reading and school is stupid.)
The very best thing you can do is back off. To help you not worry,
read at:
http://sandradodd.com/reading
You also might get something out of:
http://sandradodd.com/joyce/talk
about why people find schools and curriculum so attractive.
> I have not pushed the issue but it is getting harderWhat do you mean "let her be independent in her learning"? Is she
> to let her be independent in her learning when i am the one having to
> do all the reading.
demanding that she be allowed to learn independently and you're
refusing until she learns how to read?
Reading is only one way to learn. And, depending on the child's
learning style, not even the best. But books are worshiped as some
ultimate window on the world and everything else is a distant second.
I'm certainly not anti-book :-) (If you saw my house that thought
wouldn't even cross your mind!) But what I am is a supporter of
engagement as the best way to learn :-) Whether that engagement takes
the form of busy hands, observation, videos and TV, video and other
games, conversation, full body movement or whatever. It makes no
difference. What does make a difference is the child's interest in
what they're doing.
We assume schools are using the best methods to teach kids. They
aren't. They're using the most efficient way to impose a body of
knowledge on a mass of people. In order to allow schools to function
they must make huge sacrifices in what is best for the child. Even
most educators understand that the best environment to learn in is
one on one, not thirty on one. But schools can't do that. It would
cost too much.
And at 7 she shouldn't be learning independently. As an unschooler
she should be exploring the parts of the world that interest her with
you by her side to point out something else that might interest her,
share her joys of discovery, keep out of her way when she needs to
explore on her own, help her reach what she's reaching for if it's
out of her reach, run new things into her world that might interest
her (and be cool with it if she's not interested yet.)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Judy R
Hi Bonnie - We all have our ups and downs and bad moments - it has taken me a *long* time to stop harassing them about their rooms and feeling like they aren't going to "make it in life" if they don't know what 13 x 69 is off the top of their heads.
It is hard to learn to trust the child because it goes against everything we have been taught about how to raise children. John Holt's books are another excellent resource for helping to see that it is OK to let children find their own way - in one of his books, he specifically talks about how children (or adults for that matter) learn to read (does anyone remember exactly which book?)
IT's so hard not to worry - but you may very well find that if you just let it go for now and do other things that she will come back to it when she is ready. It may also help to remember that many other cultures don't expect children to read until much later than our expectation is in north America - in France, I have been told, they don't even begin teaching reading in school until 8 years old - and a significant portion of kids don't learn to read until they are 9 or 10 or even older - and if they are left to themselves, they don't develop insecurities about it - it's the school system that labels them learning disabled or whatever - doesn't mean they actually are....
- I admit that I sometimes found reading to my children a chore (I know we're not *supposed* to feel that way!), especially when it was the same book over and over - maybe it's OK if you just say that to her - or set a limit that you can stand, (assuming that she's *asking* you to read to her?) - tell her you are willing to read 3 books or something and then you want to do something else - I think you have that right.
Does she look at books on her own at all? Does she like books that are very visual for instance? You could even maybe say - these are some books for you to look at on your own and these are the ones that we read together - not as manipulation, but to respect your own tolerance level - I mean, we can *challenge* our own tolerance levels, but I think it is also OK for mommies to have tolerance levels!
Does she use the computer? When my kids starting using the computer, I categorically stated that they were on their own to figure out the games - which they did just fine; I would intervene if it was absolutley necessary, but I usually couldn't help them anyway, and i *hate* computer games! They probably picked up some reading skills that way.
It's probably important that you don't pass on to her a feeling of frustration and impatience around this issue - just let it go, let it be, try to remove any feelings of hostility that you have around it - there's no telling what they do inside their heads when they sense those kind of feelings coming from us - that is more likely to turn it into an issue, I would think; probably better to relax and let it go.
Good luck, and don't feel guilty!!!! judy
It is hard to learn to trust the child because it goes against everything we have been taught about how to raise children. John Holt's books are another excellent resource for helping to see that it is OK to let children find their own way - in one of his books, he specifically talks about how children (or adults for that matter) learn to read (does anyone remember exactly which book?)
IT's so hard not to worry - but you may very well find that if you just let it go for now and do other things that she will come back to it when she is ready. It may also help to remember that many other cultures don't expect children to read until much later than our expectation is in north America - in France, I have been told, they don't even begin teaching reading in school until 8 years old - and a significant portion of kids don't learn to read until they are 9 or 10 or even older - and if they are left to themselves, they don't develop insecurities about it - it's the school system that labels them learning disabled or whatever - doesn't mean they actually are....
- I admit that I sometimes found reading to my children a chore (I know we're not *supposed* to feel that way!), especially when it was the same book over and over - maybe it's OK if you just say that to her - or set a limit that you can stand, (assuming that she's *asking* you to read to her?) - tell her you are willing to read 3 books or something and then you want to do something else - I think you have that right.
Does she look at books on her own at all? Does she like books that are very visual for instance? You could even maybe say - these are some books for you to look at on your own and these are the ones that we read together - not as manipulation, but to respect your own tolerance level - I mean, we can *challenge* our own tolerance levels, but I think it is also OK for mommies to have tolerance levels!
Does she use the computer? When my kids starting using the computer, I categorically stated that they were on their own to figure out the games - which they did just fine; I would intervene if it was absolutley necessary, but I usually couldn't help them anyway, and i *hate* computer games! They probably picked up some reading skills that way.
It's probably important that you don't pass on to her a feeling of frustration and impatience around this issue - just let it go, let it be, try to remove any feelings of hostility that you have around it - there's no telling what they do inside their heads when they sense those kind of feelings coming from us - that is more likely to turn it into an issue, I would think; probably better to relax and let it go.
Good luck, and don't feel guilty!!!! judy
----- Original Message -----
From: hscomer
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2008 10:39 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] reading
ok here is where I am at. My 7 yr old is refusing to learn to read i
mean i have tried everything and wanted to see if anyone else might
have some ideas. I have not pushed the issue but it is getting harder
to let her be independent in her learning when i am the one having to
do all the reading. Any and all suggestions are welcome thanks.
Bonnie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
usoah1841
> It is hard to learn to trust the child because it goes againsteverything we have been taught about how to raise children. John
Holt's books are another excellent resource for helping to see that
it is OK to let children find their own way - in one of his books, he
specifically talks about how children (or adults for that matter)
learn to read (does anyone remember exactly which book?) >
Franks Smith"s The Book of Learning and Forgetting has a great
section on learning to read naturally! Short chapters and lots
of "academic references" for the tough cases.(anxious family and
school teacher neighbors : )
This part of unschooling has been the toughest for me because I have
a daughter who is learning to read on the later end of the spectrum.
Her reading journey has been so different from mine and from her
older siblings. Releasing your own expectations and then buffering
your child from the rest of the world's expectations can be very
challenging, but well worth it!
Beth in MD
19yos, 16yos and 12yod
kellynrachel
Hi Bonnie.
I'm still new in this group, but I have a 7 year old who I thought
wouldn't want to read. There was no need for him to read. I read
everything to him. Until one day, he got a game manual to help him
through his Zelda game. I would read it to him to help wiht his game
when I could, but I wasn't up for reading the small print at the crack
of dawn or while I was driving, so he had a choice... read yourself
or wait. He wanted to know what was on that page. He figured it out.
He reads the things that are important to him.
My suggestion is to find something that your child is very passionate
about and share with her. Sometimes life makes it so you are
unavailable to read for a few minutes. Your child may surprise you
and figure it out herself. More can happen with less work if you
wander in the right direction.
I think I was very fortunate to have my boy be the one who was less
than interested in reading because society told me that "boys don't
learn to read as early as girls". I didn't expect anything from him.
I hoped that he'd find the spark to motivate him unlock the code.
And he did in his own time. Remove your societal expectations and
enjoy time with your child. Reading will happen if it is available
and modeled as something that interests you and provides new
information that is important to the child.
Good luck.
Rachel
I'm still new in this group, but I have a 7 year old who I thought
wouldn't want to read. There was no need for him to read. I read
everything to him. Until one day, he got a game manual to help him
through his Zelda game. I would read it to him to help wiht his game
when I could, but I wasn't up for reading the small print at the crack
of dawn or while I was driving, so he had a choice... read yourself
or wait. He wanted to know what was on that page. He figured it out.
He reads the things that are important to him.
My suggestion is to find something that your child is very passionate
about and share with her. Sometimes life makes it so you are
unavailable to read for a few minutes. Your child may surprise you
and figure it out herself. More can happen with less work if you
wander in the right direction.
I think I was very fortunate to have my boy be the one who was less
than interested in reading because society told me that "boys don't
learn to read as early as girls". I didn't expect anything from him.
I hoped that he'd find the spark to motivate him unlock the code.
And he did in his own time. Remove your societal expectations and
enjoy time with your child. Reading will happen if it is available
and modeled as something that interests you and provides new
information that is important to the child.
Good luck.
Rachel
DJ250
Beth, where are you in MD?
~Melissa, in Odenton, MD
~Melissa, in Odenton, MD
----- Original Message -----
From: usoah1841
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, May 31, 2008 11:04 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: reading
> It is hard to learn to trust the child because it goes against
everything we have been taught about how to raise children. John
Holt's books are another excellent resource for helping to see that
it is OK to let children find their own way - in one of his books, he
specifically talks about how children (or adults for that matter)
learn to read (does anyone remember exactly which book?) >
Franks Smith"s The Book of Learning and Forgetting has a great
section on learning to read naturally! Short chapters and lots
of "academic references" for the tough cases.(anxious family and
school teacher neighbors : )
This part of unschooling has been the toughest for me because I have
a daughter who is learning to read on the later end of the spectrum.
Her reading journey has been so different from mine and from her
older siblings. Releasing your own expectations and then buffering
your child from the rest of the world's expectations can be very
challenging, but well worth it!
Beth in MD
19yos, 16yos and 12yod
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[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: hscomer <hscomer@...>
ok here is where I am at. My 7 yr old is refusing to learn to read i
mean i have tried everything and wanted to see if anyone else might
have some ideas.
-=-=-=-=-=
Have you tried forbidding reading? Seems to work for lots of parents
with other things. <g>
-=-=-=-=-
I have not pushed the issue but it is getting harder
to let her be independent in her learning when i am the one having to
do all the reading. Any and all suggestions are welcome thanks.
-=-=-=-=-
You might not like the suggestions.
Quit pushing.
Seriously.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: hscomer <hscomer@...>
ok here is where I am at. My 7 yr old is refusing to learn to read i
mean i have tried everything and wanted to see if anyone else might
have some ideas.
-=-=-=-=-=
Have you tried forbidding reading? Seems to work for lots of parents
with other things. <g>
-=-=-=-=-
I have not pushed the issue but it is getting harder
to let her be independent in her learning when i am the one having to
do all the reading. Any and all suggestions are welcome thanks.
-=-=-=-=-
You might not like the suggestions.
Quit pushing.
Seriously.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org