Allowing underage kids to participate in over 13 only websites
landvchapman
I'm curious about how others feel about this.
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place. I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site. So, my questions to you all would
be .
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
Lynda
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place. I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site. So, my questions to you all would
be .
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
Lynda
Angi
Our boys are way too young for social sites since they are 5 and 4 years
old. However, I did find this on Yahoo! Answers with a list of sites that
may be suited to what you're looking for.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090301114423AAf80iP
***************************************************************************
* TTFN, Angi * homeschool@... * Web & Graphic Designer *
* Wife to Tim * WAHM to Trysten & Devlyn * Aunt to Frankie *
* www.timandangi.com * www.designsbyangi.com * www.tristarcreations.com *
***************************************************************************
old. However, I did find this on Yahoo! Answers with a list of sites that
may be suited to what you're looking for.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090301114423AAf80iP
***************************************************************************
* TTFN, Angi * homeschool@... * Web & Graphic Designer *
* Wife to Tim * WAHM to Trysten & Devlyn * Aunt to Frankie *
* www.timandangi.com * www.designsbyangi.com * www.tristarcreations.com *
***************************************************************************
Joyce Fetteroll
On Mar 1, 2009, at 11:34 PM, landvchapman wrote:
really to protect the owners of the sites. The law states that
websites can't collect information from children under 13 without
parental permission.
Turning 13 doesn't automatically make a needy child less vulnerable.
The neediness is what does it.
the conversations and looking for rule breakers ;-)
Put down her age as 99.
But that said, most of the people are going to be older. My daughter
(17) uses Facebook and MySpace to keep up with people she already knows.
What I would suggest, which is what my daughter did, is to look for
interactive websites around something that interests her. Kathryn
liked the virtual pet sites. There are tons of them but she tried
Neopets and Subeta (subeta.net) which are virtual fantasy creatures.
(Subeta is smaller and she liked it better at the time). Kids adopt
pets, explore the world, play some games, buy (with points earned in
the games) items for your pet. Kathryn didn't play the games much but
she interacted on the message boards where kids would write
collaborative stories -- *start* stories mostly ;-) -- featuring
their pets. (In fact that's where she met a girl from Poland 3 years
ago that she went to visit over Christmas.)
Here's a top ten list with detailed reviews (from August 2008):
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/914127/
top_virtual_pet_sites.html?cat=15
Another list with rankings:
http://www.unlimitedwebgames.com/petgames.php
Here's a list (though I'm not sure how old it is and doesn't mention
Subeta which is very popular), but it mentions Club Penguin which
lots of kids like.)
http://websearch.about.com/od/thebestkidssites/tp/free-virtual-pets.htm
And a *humongous* list that shows the depth and breadth of these
types of sites (last updated Sept 2008). There are virtual Barbie
sites and virtual horse sites and virtual robot sites ...
http://www.virtualpet.com/vp/links/links.htm
Now she hangs out on Deviantart (read as "deviant art" rather than
"devian tart" ;-) where people post their art work. Artists tag their
art and search the site to find other artists with similar tastes.
She's met lots of kids through that and made some very good friends
around extremely esoteric interests (fellow creators of fantasy 80's
hair metal bands ;-). What's safe about it is that it would take a
predator way too much time to fake that kind of identity. They hang
out in places where they don't have to work so hard!
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> On one hand, I get why it isWhile it looks like the rules are in place to protect kids, they're
> important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
> can be a pretty unsafe place.
really to protect the owners of the sites. The law states that
websites can't collect information from children under 13 without
parental permission.
Turning 13 doesn't automatically make a needy child less vulnerable.
The neediness is what does it.
> However, I also want her to be ableThere's millions of people on there. Big Brother is not following all
> to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
> registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
> risk getting kicked off the site.
the conversations and looking for rule breakers ;-)
Put down her age as 99.
But that said, most of the people are going to be older. My daughter
(17) uses Facebook and MySpace to keep up with people she already knows.
What I would suggest, which is what my daughter did, is to look for
interactive websites around something that interests her. Kathryn
liked the virtual pet sites. There are tons of them but she tried
Neopets and Subeta (subeta.net) which are virtual fantasy creatures.
(Subeta is smaller and she liked it better at the time). Kids adopt
pets, explore the world, play some games, buy (with points earned in
the games) items for your pet. Kathryn didn't play the games much but
she interacted on the message boards where kids would write
collaborative stories -- *start* stories mostly ;-) -- featuring
their pets. (In fact that's where she met a girl from Poland 3 years
ago that she went to visit over Christmas.)
Here's a top ten list with detailed reviews (from August 2008):
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/914127/
top_virtual_pet_sites.html?cat=15
Another list with rankings:
http://www.unlimitedwebgames.com/petgames.php
Here's a list (though I'm not sure how old it is and doesn't mention
Subeta which is very popular), but it mentions Club Penguin which
lots of kids like.)
http://websearch.about.com/od/thebestkidssites/tp/free-virtual-pets.htm
And a *humongous* list that shows the depth and breadth of these
types of sites (last updated Sept 2008). There are virtual Barbie
sites and virtual horse sites and virtual robot sites ...
http://www.virtualpet.com/vp/links/links.htm
Now she hangs out on Deviantart (read as "deviant art" rather than
"devian tart" ;-) where people post their art work. Artists tag their
art and search the site to find other artists with similar tastes.
She's met lots of kids through that and made some very good friends
around extremely esoteric interests (fellow creators of fantasy 80's
hair metal bands ;-). What's safe about it is that it would take a
predator way too much time to fake that kind of identity. They hang
out in places where they don't have to work so hard!
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betj
My son had Mat Mice which was invite only for younger kids but sadly was shut down because of the time involved for the owners. (Young adults I believe.) He does have myspace and I monitor for fear of predators. His friends online are mostly friends IRL or friends of friends. And while I know it's not necessarily the best thing to do, I keep tabs by reading his messages every so often. He has an iPod touch so he can be on almost anytime. I love myspace! I got back in touch with old friends.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: "landvchapman" <groovygirl1972@...>
Date: Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:34:57
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Allowing underage kids to participate in over 13 only websites
I'm curious about how others feel about this.
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online�chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place. I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site. So, my questions to you all would
be�.
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
Lynda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
-----Original Message-----
From: "landvchapman" <groovygirl1972@...>
Date: Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:34:57
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Allowing underage kids to participate in over 13 only websites
I'm curious about how others feel about this.
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online�chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place. I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site. So, my questions to you all would
be�.
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
Lynda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandy Winn
Hi Lynda,
I've lied on ages with both of my children as far as social sites go, lol. Due to having the internet for so many years, the kids have learned about viruses, bugs, spam, and all that jazz through discussion and seeing stories on the news--they choose to keep their profiles private. Our 14yo son has had a MySpace account for a couple of years and even invited me to be on his friends list. He also had a Yahoo! 360 account but prefers MySpace so he let that one go. He refuses, for the security of not only his information but for the security of all of our computers, to answer any strange emails or click links in his friends PM's until after he's googled and checked them out first.
Our now 11yo daughter has been a member of Yahoo! 360 for several years. For awhile she was blogging and writing stories but she let the site go for quite a long time due to other interests. However, the other day she said she wanted to get started again. :-) Her friends include her grandparents and a few friends.
I've never once checked on my children's email or what they've written--unless they've asked me to read something "cool". ONE time a strange man managed to finagle his way on to her Yahoo! 360 page and she didn't like it so she asked me to help remove him--we redid the privacy setting and it never happened again. And, unlike me who once got phished on MySpace, my son takes the security stuff so seriously that it's never happened to him. :-)
I think the best thing to do is give your child some security tips as well as let her learn on her own.
Good Luck ~ Sandy
Date: Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:34:57
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Allowing underage kids to participate in over 13 only websites
I'm curious about how others feel about this.
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online…chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place. I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site. So, my questions to you all would
be….
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
Lynda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I've lied on ages with both of my children as far as social sites go, lol. Due to having the internet for so many years, the kids have learned about viruses, bugs, spam, and all that jazz through discussion and seeing stories on the news--they choose to keep their profiles private. Our 14yo son has had a MySpace account for a couple of years and even invited me to be on his friends list. He also had a Yahoo! 360 account but prefers MySpace so he let that one go. He refuses, for the security of not only his information but for the security of all of our computers, to answer any strange emails or click links in his friends PM's until after he's googled and checked them out first.
Our now 11yo daughter has been a member of Yahoo! 360 for several years. For awhile she was blogging and writing stories but she let the site go for quite a long time due to other interests. However, the other day she said she wanted to get started again. :-) Her friends include her grandparents and a few friends.
I've never once checked on my children's email or what they've written--unless they've asked me to read something "cool". ONE time a strange man managed to finagle his way on to her Yahoo! 360 page and she didn't like it so she asked me to help remove him--we redid the privacy setting and it never happened again. And, unlike me who once got phished on MySpace, my son takes the security stuff so seriously that it's never happened to him. :-)
I think the best thing to do is give your child some security tips as well as let her learn on her own.
Good Luck ~ Sandy
Date: Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:34:57
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Allowing underage kids to participate in over 13 only websites
I'm curious about how others feel about this.
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online…chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place. I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site. So, my questions to you all would
be….
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
Lynda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
I would give her access to Facebook and MySpace. I've been asked to be friends by more people on MySpace than on Facebook, but my account isn't set to friends only on MySpace. Who would kick her off? If she says that she is using your account how is that breaking the rules enough to be kicked off the site?
What about Run.ning? http://familyrun.ning.com/ There are other kids on there. Or if you have an xbox, xbox live is great for chatting with other people. Simon and Linnaea have been playing a lot with other folks.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: landvchapman <groovygirl1972@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, 2 March, 2009 4:34:57 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Allowing underage kids to participate in over 13 only websites
I'm curious about how others feel about this.
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online…chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place. I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site. So, my questions to you all would
be….
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
Lynda
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What about Run.ning? http://familyrun.ning.com/ There are other kids on there. Or if you have an xbox, xbox live is great for chatting with other people. Simon and Linnaea have been playing a lot with other folks.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: landvchapman <groovygirl1972@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, 2 March, 2009 4:34:57 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Allowing underage kids to participate in over 13 only websites
I'm curious about how others feel about this.
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online…chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place. I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site. So, my questions to you all would
be….
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
Lynda
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
landvchapman
Thanks for all of this. The resources and the reminder of places like
neopets. We'll look over the links and try to find other places that
might fit. We already do have neopets accounts but haven't used them
in a long time.
something she likes and losing it because of something that seems so
ridiculous.
And yes, most of the people are going to be older. That is a problem
we have come across as well.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
Lynda
neopets. We'll look over the links and try to find other places that
might fit. We already do have neopets accounts but haven't used them
in a long time.
> There's millions of people on there. Big Brother is not followingall
> the conversations and looking for rule breakers ;-)knows.
>
> Put down her age as 99.
>
> But that said, most of the people are going to be older. My daughter
> (17) uses Facebook and MySpace to keep up with people she already
>Yes, logically I know this. I just hate the thought of her finding
something she likes and losing it because of something that seems so
ridiculous.
And yes, most of the people are going to be older. That is a problem
we have come across as well.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
Lynda
landvchapman
Thanks Sandy,
I forgot about 360. I'll need to talk to her about that. I had one
but there was alot of rumors about them eliminating it so I stopped
using it. She might like that.
My daughter is pretty safety and security conscious. She would
prefer to keep her profiles private as well. THAT is one of the main
problems we have encountered. The one social networking site we have
found that is specifically for kids, kidzworld, gives her no option
to have a private profile. Nor does it give her the option to block
people from contacting her.
Thanks for your input.
Lynda
--- In [email protected], Sandy Winn
<sereneaspirations@...> wrote:
learned about viruses, bugs, spam, and all that jazz through
disussion and seeing stories on the news--they choose to keep their
profiles private. Our 14yo son has had a MySpace account for a couple
of years and even invited me to be on his friends list. He also had a
Yahoo! 360 account but prefers MySpace so he let that one go. He
refuses, for the security of not only his information but for the
security of all of our computers, to answer any strange emails or
click links in his friends PM's until after he's googled and checked
them out first.
the site go for quite a long time due to other interests. However,
the other day she said she wanted to get started again. :-) Her
friends include her grandparents and a few friends.
strange man managed to finagle his way on to her Yahoo! 360 page and
she didn't like it so she asked me to help remove him--we redid the
privacy setting and it never happened again. And, unlike me who once
got phished on MySpace, my son takes the security stuff so seriously
that it's never happened to him. :-)
I forgot about 360. I'll need to talk to her about that. I had one
but there was alot of rumors about them eliminating it so I stopped
using it. She might like that.
My daughter is pretty safety and security conscious. She would
prefer to keep her profiles private as well. THAT is one of the main
problems we have encountered. The one social networking site we have
found that is specifically for kids, kidzworld, gives her no option
to have a private profile. Nor does it give her the option to block
people from contacting her.
Thanks for your input.
Lynda
--- In [email protected], Sandy Winn
<sereneaspirations@...> wrote:
>go, lol. Due to having the internet for so many years, the kids have
> Hi Lynda,
>
> I've lied on ages with both of my children as far as social sites
learned about viruses, bugs, spam, and all that jazz through
disussion and seeing stories on the news--they choose to keep their
profiles private. Our 14yo son has had a MySpace account for a couple
of years and even invited me to be on his friends list. He also had a
Yahoo! 360 account but prefers MySpace so he let that one go. He
refuses, for the security of not only his information but for the
security of all of our computers, to answer any strange emails or
click links in his friends PM's until after he's googled and checked
them out first.
>years. For awhile she was blogging and writing stories but she let
> Our now 11yo daughter has been a member of Yahoo! 360 for several
the site go for quite a long time due to other interests. However,
the other day she said she wanted to get started again. :-) Her
friends include her grandparents and a few friends.
>written--unless they've asked me to read something "cool". ONE time a
> I've never once checked on my children's email or what they've
strange man managed to finagle his way on to her Yahoo! 360 page and
she didn't like it so she asked me to help remove him--we redid the
privacy setting and it never happened again. And, unlike me who once
got phished on MySpace, my son takes the security stuff so seriously
that it's never happened to him. :-)
>as well as let her learn on her own.
> I think the best thing to do is give your child some security tips
>
> Good Luck ~ Sandy
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Tara
If you're in need of some a kid friendly site, you could try
betweentalk.com I haven't been on in awhile but it is owned and managed
by an unschooling mom and her 12 yr old son. I know a cpl kids that
have fun on it but I'm not sure it is what your DD is looking for. :)
~Tara
betweentalk.com I haven't been on in awhile but it is owned and managed
by an unschooling mom and her 12 yr old son. I know a cpl kids that
have fun on it but I'm not sure it is what your DD is looking for. :)
~Tara
Kelly Lovejoy
-----Original Message-----
From: landvchapman <groovygirl1972@...>
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online…chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
-=-=-=-=-
What makes you think they're unsafe?
On Facebook, you control who your friends are. I've never had anyone mess with me or my children there.
I know LOTS of under-13s on Facebook. I have several under-13 friends on Facebook.
What exactly are you afraid of?
-=-=-=-=-
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place.
-=-=-=-
You KNOW that, do you? <g>
For whom, do you think? For a child whose mom helps her navigate and gets what she wants out of the site? Whose mom=2
0is there when she has questions or wonders about a weirdo? Who has no problem coming for help or with concerns?
Or for the child who sneaks to get what she wants and is afraid to tell her mom that some weirdo has contacted her because she's not supposed to have an account anyway?
-=-=-=-=-
I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site.
-=-=-=-
I had to go check Duncan's Facebook page. He turned 13 on Sunday. His DoB there was March 1 1966. <G> That has him at 40. <G>
He's plenty true to who he is. And they didn't kick his 30-something self off the list. <G>
-=-=-=-=-
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
-=-=-=-=-
I did and happily. He keeps in touch with his unschooling buds from all over the country.
He reads and writes for real reasons. He enjoys the notes and games and gifting. It's FUN.
-=-=-=-=-
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
-=-=-=-
I'm not sure of other options. But I'd consider looking for other sites. I know
several people have come by *here* at UB looking to start things for kids, but they don't seem too interesting. And they always want to monitor the kids "for safety reasons." I see no need for these ridiculous safety measures. No one's going to reach out through the computer screen and pull my child in. <G>
As long as we have a very open, honest relationship, I feel secure knowing that he'll come to me with issues/concerns/whatever. If there's ever anyone he's worried about, I'll be the first person he'll come to because he knows I want him safe and happy too.
-=-==-=-=-
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Would she like to be friends with Duncan? I bet there are several kids who would befriend her on Facebook.
If you decide to try it, you're welcome to contact me offlist. I know some REALLY cool kids with no silly restrictions. I'd be happy to hook her up.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: landvchapman <groovygirl1972@...>
My daughter is 11. She is very interested in social networking
online…chatting, forums, sites like myspace and face book etc. We
have had a VERY hard time finding places for her to do this that
allow users under 13 (per their terms of service). The places we
have found just don't fill the bill. Most are very difficult to chat
in and actually have an actual conversation in for various reasons.
The one site that we have found seems even MORE unsafe to me than
myspace or face book as there is no way to make the profiles private
and no way to block users that may be harassing you or that just
make you feel uncomfortable.
-=-=-=-=-
What makes you think they're unsafe?
On Facebook, you control who your friends are. I've never had anyone mess with me or my children there.
I know LOTS of under-13s on Facebook. I have several under-13 friends on Facebook.
What exactly are you afraid of?
-=-=-=-=-
She has been very understanding about my hesitancy about this but I'm
really torn about how I feel about it. On one hand, I get why it is
important to have those rules in place. I KNOW that for some, online
can be a pretty unsafe place.
-=-=-=-
You KNOW that, do you? <g>
For whom, do you think? For a child whose mom helps her navigate and gets what she wants out of the site? Whose mom=2
0is there when she has questions or wonders about a weirdo? Who has no problem coming for help or with concerns?
Or for the child who sneaks to get what she wants and is afraid to tell her mom that some weirdo has contacted her because she's not supposed to have an account anyway?
-=-=-=-=-
I'm not necessarily bothered by the
idea of lying about her age in the registration process because I
feel the rules are very general. However, I also want her to be able
to be true to who she is. If we add two years to her birth date when
registering then she will always have to be pretending to BE 13 or
risk getting kicked off the site.
-=-=-=-
I had to go check Duncan's Facebook page. He turned 13 on Sunday. His DoB there was March 1 1966. <G> That has him at 40. <G>
He's plenty true to who he is. And they didn't kick his 30-something self off the list. <G>
-=-=-=-=-
Have you or would you support your under 13 year old in participating
in sites like these and why or why not?
-=-=-=-=-
I did and happily. He keeps in touch with his unschooling buds from all over the country.
He reads and writes for real reasons. He enjoys the notes and games and gifting. It's FUN.
-=-=-=-=-
What would you do to help them meet this need if you didn't or don't
feel comfortable with them participating?
-=-=-=-
I'm not sure of other options. But I'd consider looking for other sites. I know
several people have come by *here* at UB looking to start things for kids, but they don't seem too interesting. And they always want to monitor the kids "for safety reasons." I see no need for these ridiculous safety measures. No one's going to reach out through the computer screen and pull my child in. <G>
As long as we have a very open, honest relationship, I feel secure knowing that he'll come to me with issues/concerns/whatever. If there's ever anyone he's worried about, I'll be the first person he'll come to because he knows I want him safe and happy too.
-=-==-=-=-
I am out of ideas about this. She has been able to hook up with some
other kids we know in person to email and chat via email with but
they are mostly restricted in their online time and activities. She
has a couple of girls she chats with that I found for her here and
she loves talking to them but that isn't ALL she is looking for.
Any ideas about this would be appreciated.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Would she like to be friends with Duncan? I bet there are several kids who would befriend her on Facebook.
If you decide to try it, you're welcome to contact me offlist. I know some REALLY cool kids with no silly restrictions. I'd be happy to hook her up.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"There is no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world than a transformation of the way we raise our children." Marianne Williamson
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
landvchapman
> -=-=-=-=-I don't particularly. I must have given the wrong impression here. I was saying that I actually think both myspace and facebook (especially) are safer than the one site we had found designed for kids under 13.
>
> What makes you think they're unsafe?
>
>
> On Facebook, you control who your friends are. I've never had anyone mess with me or my children there.
>
>
>
> I know LOTS of under-13s on Facebook. I have several under-13 friends on Facebook.
>
>
>
>
> What exactly are you afraid of?
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-
I'm not afraid of safety issues for my daughter. She knows she can come to me if there is anything online (or anywhere) that makes her uncomfortable or feel unsafe.
I don't know any under 13's on facebook. That is part of the reason I brought this here.
>Yes I do.
> -=-=-=-
>
>
> You KNOW that, do you? <g>
>No, not for these kids. This is the the category we fall into.
> For whom, do you think? For a child whose mom helps her navigate and gets what she wants out of the site? Whose mom=2
> 0is there when she has questions or wonders about a weirdo? Who has no problem coming for help or with concerns?
>Yes, in some cases, for these children.
> Or for the child who sneaks to get what she wants and is afraid to tell her mom that some weirdo has contacted her because she's not supposed to have an account anyway?
>I'm glad to hear he has never had this issue. THIS is what I was worried about. Not because I'm afraid of some ficitional person who might "get" her but because we are both worried that she will enjoy it and then get kicked off. And also because neither of us want her to have to continue to lie. We DO know people who have been kicked off sites for being underage. This is why I posted. To get other peoples opinions and hear others experiences. I don't know tons of people who have been kicked off. I'm very happy to hear that many here have not had that issue.
>
> -=-=-=-
>
> I had to go check Duncan's Facebook page. He turned 13 on Sunday. His DoB there was March 1 1966. <G> That has him at 40. <G>
>
> He's plenty true to who he is. And they didn't kick his 30-something self off the list. <G>
>
> -=-=-=-=-
> -=-=-=-=-Well, we don't have many unschooling buds unfortunately. I'm working on that. That is another reason why we are exploring options for other sites because she has a need to connect with others her age online but most of her friends aren't allowed to spend much time online and certainly not on facebook or myspace.
>
> I did and happily. He keeps in touch with his unschooling buds from all over the country.
>
> He reads and writes for real reasons. He enjoys the notes and games and gifting. It's FUN.
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-
> -=-=-=--=-=-=-
>
>
> I'm not sure of other options. But I'd consider looking for other sites. I know
> several people have come by *here* at UB looking to start things for kids, but they don't seem too interesting. And they always want to monitor the kids "for safety reasons." I see no need for these ridiculous safety measures. No one's going to reach out through the computer screen and pull my child in. <G>
I'm not worried about monitoring for safety. I would love to "start" something for the tween and younger kids but that seems to be a little out of my scope. At least the kind of site we are looking for :). We have been looking for other sites. It seems they are few and far between or as I stated before poorly run and more unsafe than I've found sites geared for older kids. We have found a few and are exploring other ways for her to get what she needs.
>Me too :D.
> As long as we have a very open, honest relationship, I feel secure knowing that he'll come to me with issues/concerns/whatever. If there's ever anyone he's worried about, I'll be the first person he'll come to because he knows I want him safe and happy too.
>
>
> -=-==-=-=-
> -=-=-=-=-=-This is a possibility. Thank you for the offer. I've been able to help her connect with a couple of other unschoolers online. I've had a very hard time finding local unschoolers though. I'll let you know offlist if we decide to do facebook.
>
>
> Would she like to be friends with Duncan? I bet there are several kids who would befriend her on Facebook.
>
>
>
>
>
> If you decide to try it, you're welcome to contact me offlist. I know some REALLY cool kids with no silly restrictions. I'd be happy to hook her up.
>
>
>
>
> Â ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
>
>
Lynda
Karen Swanay
This might come under the heading of "fear mongering" but I don't like
MySpace because of the ease of transmission of viruses. I got a
trojan horse the last time I went to MySpace and had to redo my hard
drive. I have a friend who is a computer guru who won't go to
MySpace. I say "Going to MySpace is like going to a prostitute, you
might not catch anything, but you can be sure that if you do you
aren't going to like it."
That being said, lots of people use MySpace and do fine. I just don't
care for the state of hypervigilance I have to maintain about my
computer if I go there. And I wouldn't turn my kids loose there
because of the infection issue, not for some nebulous pedophile fear.
I do have and LOVE Facebook! And I'm thinking about seeing if the
boys (12 and 10) want to make a page. I'm not sure if they will
because it doesn't seem like their "thing" they are playing on
something called "Club Penguin" at the moment. But they could use some
unschooly friends, that's for sure!
Karen
MySpace because of the ease of transmission of viruses. I got a
trojan horse the last time I went to MySpace and had to redo my hard
drive. I have a friend who is a computer guru who won't go to
MySpace. I say "Going to MySpace is like going to a prostitute, you
might not catch anything, but you can be sure that if you do you
aren't going to like it."
That being said, lots of people use MySpace and do fine. I just don't
care for the state of hypervigilance I have to maintain about my
computer if I go there. And I wouldn't turn my kids loose there
because of the infection issue, not for some nebulous pedophile fear.
I do have and LOVE Facebook! And I'm thinking about seeing if the
boys (12 and 10) want to make a page. I'm not sure if they will
because it doesn't seem like their "thing" they are playing on
something called "Club Penguin" at the moment. But they could use some
unschooly friends, that's for sure!
Karen
Kelli Traaseth
***This might come under the heading of "fear mongering" but I don't like
MySpace because of the ease of transmission of viruses. I got a
trojan horse the last time I went to MySpace and had to redo my hard
drive.***
My kids and I all have MySpace accounts and haven't had any issues. We have been careful not to click on ads or respond to e-mails wanting you to log in for various reasons, which tricks you to another site. We also keep firewalls on and spysweepers on to help with those issues. The girls have loved MySpace for the creativity that you can put into your own space. They love adding new backgrounds and other fun stuff.
My son also frequents MySpace but it's more about connecting with friends. He wasn't so sure about making an account because he doesn't get into the creative thing like his sisters but did so because of their urging :) He's enjoyed sharing his music, his doings in gaming and his current interests.
My under 13 year old daughter is the biggest user of it right now. She has a facebook account too but really likes MySpace better because of the customization feature for the page. She has lots of friends there that are under 13 (or were when she started) and they have a blast together.
Kelli~
http://ourjoyfullife.blogspot.com/%c2%a0
"There are no ordinary moments." Dan Millman, Peaceful Warrior
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
MySpace because of the ease of transmission of viruses. I got a
trojan horse the last time I went to MySpace and had to redo my hard
drive.***
My kids and I all have MySpace accounts and haven't had any issues. We have been careful not to click on ads or respond to e-mails wanting you to log in for various reasons, which tricks you to another site. We also keep firewalls on and spysweepers on to help with those issues. The girls have loved MySpace for the creativity that you can put into your own space. They love adding new backgrounds and other fun stuff.
My son also frequents MySpace but it's more about connecting with friends. He wasn't so sure about making an account because he doesn't get into the creative thing like his sisters but did so because of their urging :) He's enjoyed sharing his music, his doings in gaming and his current interests.
My under 13 year old daughter is the biggest user of it right now. She has a facebook account too but really likes MySpace better because of the customization feature for the page. She has lots of friends there that are under 13 (or were when she started) and they have a blast together.
Kelli~
http://ourjoyfullife.blogspot.com/%c2%a0
"There are no ordinary moments." Dan Millman, Peaceful Warrior
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]