video games and self regulation
Tara
Zeb (9) loves video and computer games. I totally get that and
support it. I see the learning involved. I see his passion. I see how
much fun he has. Also see his accomplishments - his working hard
toward accomplishing something, not giving up when it gets tough.
There is *so much* value in what he's doing.
But I still worry. I do my best to keep it to myself and never
complain about the games or make them out to be "bad". But the amount
of time he plays and the effects I see are what bothers me and I what
I need support with. If I were seeing the same effects with his
reading medical textbooks all day, I'd still worry. It's not the
video games that bother me; it's everything else.
When I was a WAHM I was working online ALL DAY (12-15 hrs a day!).
And when I stopped working, I still felt the draw towards being
online all day. It was such a habit for me that I had little idea
what to do with myself so I resorted back to being online. It took me
close to a year to manage that and much of it was with the
help/support of my DH and DS. Now I wonder if I'm not doing enough
(or not doing the right things) to help/support him.
It's been over two years since we started unschooling. We had a TV
off and on thru our lives but got cable as a "resource" shortly after
we started unschooling. We had video games and computer prior but
nothing was really limited because he was never much interested. He
went to school and played outside with neighborhood kids after. After
an initial adjustment period of TV without limits, we all seem to
regulate well. Somedays we watch a lot of it, some days not at all.
DS likes to watch the disney shows before he goes to bed; that's
about it.
But I haven't seen the same adjustments with computer/video games.
Perhaps lack of commercials or the end of a show has something to do
with it? But there doesn't seem to be the same self-regulation. He
gets on within moments of being awake and only takes a break from one
to do the other (video games to computer and vice versa). He doesn't
eat regularly while playing, even when food is offered or placed near
him. He does usually take bathrooms breaks now (an improvement from
the past). He gets very stressed out during some games (rightfully so
since some of them are very challenging!) and gets frustrated and
angry. Many times that frustration carries over into other things and
affects the whole family or sets the tone/mood for the rest of his
day.
I've seen him get bored with it a few times or says he wnats to take
a break and get off only to get back on within 1-2 minutes, as if
it's the easiest option or the only thing he can think of to do. I
try to engage him during those times with different things but he's
rarely interested, saying they're boring. He doesn't usually seem to
enjoy himself with the video games because of the frustration
involved that leads to such stress for him. Computer is usually much
different, and less stressful.
Usually the only thing that I can do is find a way for him to take a
break - make a meal that needs to be eaten at the table, go on an
errand, go on a visit to someone's house, etc; something to get him
up and moving and away from it. In the moment he doesn't seem too
keen on the idea of quitting but within minutes he seems more
relaxed. Our best times are car rides - we have such good times while
driving! Especially if we're in the truck where he can sit up front.
We always have the best conversations! :D I'd really like to find
way to always have the same great time that we do while we're out
together.
What else can I do to support him? If I try to discuss it with him,
what kind of things should I say or not say? Should I try to get us
out more so that he sees more variety in his day; will that help or
hinder his self-regulation? I'm trying not to let his frustrations
frustrate me but that's difficult for me. I tend to take on other
ppl's moods, especially his. I know it doesn't help when we're both
frustrated and trying to communicate; what can I do at those times?
I really really need some practical "try this" ideas on how to
support him or help him manage it all.
Really looking forward to help,
Tara
support it. I see the learning involved. I see his passion. I see how
much fun he has. Also see his accomplishments - his working hard
toward accomplishing something, not giving up when it gets tough.
There is *so much* value in what he's doing.
But I still worry. I do my best to keep it to myself and never
complain about the games or make them out to be "bad". But the amount
of time he plays and the effects I see are what bothers me and I what
I need support with. If I were seeing the same effects with his
reading medical textbooks all day, I'd still worry. It's not the
video games that bother me; it's everything else.
When I was a WAHM I was working online ALL DAY (12-15 hrs a day!).
And when I stopped working, I still felt the draw towards being
online all day. It was such a habit for me that I had little idea
what to do with myself so I resorted back to being online. It took me
close to a year to manage that and much of it was with the
help/support of my DH and DS. Now I wonder if I'm not doing enough
(or not doing the right things) to help/support him.
It's been over two years since we started unschooling. We had a TV
off and on thru our lives but got cable as a "resource" shortly after
we started unschooling. We had video games and computer prior but
nothing was really limited because he was never much interested. He
went to school and played outside with neighborhood kids after. After
an initial adjustment period of TV without limits, we all seem to
regulate well. Somedays we watch a lot of it, some days not at all.
DS likes to watch the disney shows before he goes to bed; that's
about it.
But I haven't seen the same adjustments with computer/video games.
Perhaps lack of commercials or the end of a show has something to do
with it? But there doesn't seem to be the same self-regulation. He
gets on within moments of being awake and only takes a break from one
to do the other (video games to computer and vice versa). He doesn't
eat regularly while playing, even when food is offered or placed near
him. He does usually take bathrooms breaks now (an improvement from
the past). He gets very stressed out during some games (rightfully so
since some of them are very challenging!) and gets frustrated and
angry. Many times that frustration carries over into other things and
affects the whole family or sets the tone/mood for the rest of his
day.
I've seen him get bored with it a few times or says he wnats to take
a break and get off only to get back on within 1-2 minutes, as if
it's the easiest option or the only thing he can think of to do. I
try to engage him during those times with different things but he's
rarely interested, saying they're boring. He doesn't usually seem to
enjoy himself with the video games because of the frustration
involved that leads to such stress for him. Computer is usually much
different, and less stressful.
Usually the only thing that I can do is find a way for him to take a
break - make a meal that needs to be eaten at the table, go on an
errand, go on a visit to someone's house, etc; something to get him
up and moving and away from it. In the moment he doesn't seem too
keen on the idea of quitting but within minutes he seems more
relaxed. Our best times are car rides - we have such good times while
driving! Especially if we're in the truck where he can sit up front.
We always have the best conversations! :D I'd really like to find
way to always have the same great time that we do while we're out
together.
What else can I do to support him? If I try to discuss it with him,
what kind of things should I say or not say? Should I try to get us
out more so that he sees more variety in his day; will that help or
hinder his self-regulation? I'm trying not to let his frustrations
frustrate me but that's difficult for me. I tend to take on other
ppl's moods, especially his. I know it doesn't help when we're both
frustrated and trying to communicate; what can I do at those times?
I really really need some practical "try this" ideas on how to
support him or help him manage it all.
Really looking forward to help,
Tara
ejeosann
Tara,
My 9yo daughter is going through this same thing now, currently obsessed with video
games... for us, she just got a nintendo DS (her first non-computer video game) in
December.
She really wants a Wii (another story entirely - she's saving up her money and working at
various jobs, since my husband is not supportive of the idea - she even invented a logo
and orderform for her cookie business..)
A couple things I have been doing is to simply *ask* her to hang out with me for a little
while - have a cup of tea with me, or does she want to curl up next to me and read for a
while? sometimes I play DS with her too, which is fun, and I guess that's the whole
point.. She does the same to me when I'm on the computer and she wants my attention.
But I know what you mean, the nagging feeling that they "shouldn't" play this much video
games, or "should" be working on something more "constructive"... I'm not sure I've won
this battle in my own mind either. The only thing that keeps reminding me is that my
dear friends recently lost their child, and every time I relate to their pain, I am
reawakened and reminded of what is truly important, and it certainly doesn't have a time
limit on video games
:)
My 9yo daughter is going through this same thing now, currently obsessed with video
games... for us, she just got a nintendo DS (her first non-computer video game) in
December.
She really wants a Wii (another story entirely - she's saving up her money and working at
various jobs, since my husband is not supportive of the idea - she even invented a logo
and orderform for her cookie business..)
A couple things I have been doing is to simply *ask* her to hang out with me for a little
while - have a cup of tea with me, or does she want to curl up next to me and read for a
while? sometimes I play DS with her too, which is fun, and I guess that's the whole
point.. She does the same to me when I'm on the computer and she wants my attention.
But I know what you mean, the nagging feeling that they "shouldn't" play this much video
games, or "should" be working on something more "constructive"... I'm not sure I've won
this battle in my own mind either. The only thing that keeps reminding me is that my
dear friends recently lost their child, and every time I relate to their pain, I am
reawakened and reminded of what is truly important, and it certainly doesn't have a time
limit on video games
:)
Kelli Traaseth
***After
an initial adjustment period of TV without limits, we all seem to
regulate well. Somedays we watch a lot of it, some days not at all.
DS likes to watch the disney shows before he goes to bed; that's
about it.
But I haven't seen the same adjustments with computer/video games.
Perhaps lack of commercials or the end of a show has something to do
with it? But there doesn't seem to be the same self-regulation.****
I think there can be a level of self-regulation but it may be harder with gaming because there is so much to do in most games. So many games are very complex and do take a lot of time to, if ever, complete. Also, as your son gets older he'll learn to handle his frustration. I remember times when my son, who is now soon to be 16, would be so frustrated. He'd be trying to get to the next level of a game or trying to find something hidden to progress and it just wasn't working. Many times he'd need to just walk away from it, take a break and then when he'd go back to it it would work. Sometimes I felt very helpless, but also sometimes I would feel really proud of myself that I could stay calm and help him. Now he and his sister, who is 14, will often calm me with my frustrations <g>
Have you found guides to follow to help him with these games that are frustrating? There are online guides for most games or guides for purchase. Are there other games that he could play that would be more playable? We would sometimes get a game and right away see that it was too frustrating; but then later, maybe months or a year or so, it was a go. Maybe you can get some different games?
I also tend to take on the feelings of others so I know what you're saying. It is hard not to feel them but if I stayed calm (took a deep breath) and let him vent about his frustrations, things would go so much smoother. We could then look at the problem and try and fix it.
I wouldn't look to limit or control his playing, I would try and find ways to make his playing smoother.
***Should I try to get us
out more so that he sees more variety in his day; will that help or
hinder his self-regulation? ***
Have you asked him? What does he want to do? My son doesn't like to go a lot. He's very happy being home and doing his things right in the comfort of our home :)
Keep things going in the house as far as fun and creative. Bring in things of interest for him that maybe relate to some games that he's playing. Learning about Japan and different Japanese things has been huge around here, all stemming from Alec's gaming passion. It may even lead him to wanting to travel to Japan.
You said that you have stopped working. Are you keeping yourself busy also? I'm not saying don't participate in what he's doing but also have your own interests going too so you're not just sitting worrying about his goings on.
I think it's a huge wonderful gift that we're giving our children when we allow them the freedom to follow their passions and the time to accomplish their goals.
Kelli~
http://ourjoyfullife.blogspot.com/%c2%a0
"There are no ordinary moments." Dan Millman, Peaceful Warrior
__,_._,__
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
an initial adjustment period of TV without limits, we all seem to
regulate well. Somedays we watch a lot of it, some days not at all.
DS likes to watch the disney shows before he goes to bed; that's
about it.
But I haven't seen the same adjustments with computer/video games.
Perhaps lack of commercials or the end of a show has something to do
with it? But there doesn't seem to be the same self-regulation.****
I think there can be a level of self-regulation but it may be harder with gaming because there is so much to do in most games. So many games are very complex and do take a lot of time to, if ever, complete. Also, as your son gets older he'll learn to handle his frustration. I remember times when my son, who is now soon to be 16, would be so frustrated. He'd be trying to get to the next level of a game or trying to find something hidden to progress and it just wasn't working. Many times he'd need to just walk away from it, take a break and then when he'd go back to it it would work. Sometimes I felt very helpless, but also sometimes I would feel really proud of myself that I could stay calm and help him. Now he and his sister, who is 14, will often calm me with my frustrations <g>
Have you found guides to follow to help him with these games that are frustrating? There are online guides for most games or guides for purchase. Are there other games that he could play that would be more playable? We would sometimes get a game and right away see that it was too frustrating; but then later, maybe months or a year or so, it was a go. Maybe you can get some different games?
I also tend to take on the feelings of others so I know what you're saying. It is hard not to feel them but if I stayed calm (took a deep breath) and let him vent about his frustrations, things would go so much smoother. We could then look at the problem and try and fix it.
I wouldn't look to limit or control his playing, I would try and find ways to make his playing smoother.
***Should I try to get us
out more so that he sees more variety in his day; will that help or
hinder his self-regulation? ***
Have you asked him? What does he want to do? My son doesn't like to go a lot. He's very happy being home and doing his things right in the comfort of our home :)
Keep things going in the house as far as fun and creative. Bring in things of interest for him that maybe relate to some games that he's playing. Learning about Japan and different Japanese things has been huge around here, all stemming from Alec's gaming passion. It may even lead him to wanting to travel to Japan.
You said that you have stopped working. Are you keeping yourself busy also? I'm not saying don't participate in what he's doing but also have your own interests going too so you're not just sitting worrying about his goings on.
I think it's a huge wonderful gift that we're giving our children when we allow them the freedom to follow their passions and the time to accomplish their goals.
Kelli~
http://ourjoyfullife.blogspot.com/%c2%a0
"There are no ordinary moments." Dan Millman, Peaceful Warrior
__,_._,__
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelli Traaseth
I wanted to clarify this.
***I think there can be a level of self-regulation but it may be harder with gaming because there is so much to do in most games.***
I think it might be harder to see the self-regulation with gaming because there is so much to do and it is time consuming. Also, I think it's helpful to remember that not everyone's level of "enough" is the same.
Kelli~
http://ourjoyfullife.blogspot.com/%c2%a0
"There are no ordinary moments." Dan Millman, Peaceful Warrior
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
***I think there can be a level of self-regulation but it may be harder with gaming because there is so much to do in most games.***
I think it might be harder to see the self-regulation with gaming because there is so much to do and it is time consuming. Also, I think it's helpful to remember that not everyone's level of "enough" is the same.
Kelli~
http://ourjoyfullife.blogspot.com/%c2%a0
"There are no ordinary moments." Dan Millman, Peaceful Warrior
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "Tara" <organicsis@...>
wrote:
of stuff that seemed fun when he was "a little kid" just doesn't
appeal anymore. He may be in a rut, but you haven't been able to
offer him anything better yet, so he's stuck. That's a challenge for
you! Use some of the times y'all are doing other things together
(riding in the car) to brainstorm some new avenues of exploration.
What are some of his dreams and wishes and fantasies? If you're
feeling stuck, too, let Us know and we'll help brainstorm!
At the same time, spend time watching him play regularly so you can
get a better sense of what fires him up, and what's just ho-hum.
Actively look for more of what fires him up - including more video
games that do the stuff he likes, and less of the stuff he doesn't.
Read descriptions and reviews and follow the threads of "customers
who bought this item also bought..." for ideas.
I'm going through something similar with my 7yo, right now and have
gone through it with the 15yo years ago - its an important shift, a
sort of precursor to puberty and all those glorious changes, when
kids are ready for More and New and don't know how to get there on
their own.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
wrote:
>> I've seen him get bored with it a few times or says he wnats totake
> a break and get off only to get back on within 1-2 minutes, as ifI'm suspecting he's going through a developmental shift where a lot
> it's the easiest option or the only thing he can think of to do. I
> try to engage him during those times with different things but he's
> rarely interested, saying they're boring.
of stuff that seemed fun when he was "a little kid" just doesn't
appeal anymore. He may be in a rut, but you haven't been able to
offer him anything better yet, so he's stuck. That's a challenge for
you! Use some of the times y'all are doing other things together
(riding in the car) to brainstorm some new avenues of exploration.
What are some of his dreams and wishes and fantasies? If you're
feeling stuck, too, let Us know and we'll help brainstorm!
At the same time, spend time watching him play regularly so you can
get a better sense of what fires him up, and what's just ho-hum.
Actively look for more of what fires him up - including more video
games that do the stuff he likes, and less of the stuff he doesn't.
Read descriptions and reviews and follow the threads of "customers
who bought this item also bought..." for ideas.
I'm going through something similar with my 7yo, right now and have
gone through it with the 15yo years ago - its an important shift, a
sort of precursor to puberty and all those glorious changes, when
kids are ready for More and New and don't know how to get there on
their own.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "ejeosann"
<smallsmallworld@...> wrote:
to move away from the word "obsessed" as applied to the loves of
children. When I think about loves and passions, I can touch base with
things that *I* love, things I get passionate about and can't put down.
That makes it easier for me to connect with my kids, with their
passions, even if they are passionate about things that I'm not really
interested in, personally.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
<smallsmallworld@...> wrote:
>> But I know what you mean, the nagging feeling that they "shouldn't"play this much video
> games, or "should" be working on something more "constructive"...One of the things I found helpful, early in my unschooling journey, was
to move away from the word "obsessed" as applied to the loves of
children. When I think about loves and passions, I can touch base with
things that *I* love, things I get passionate about and can't put down.
That makes it easier for me to connect with my kids, with their
passions, even if they are passionate about things that I'm not really
interested in, personally.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
Schuyler
Do you play computer/video games with him? I just spent the last 45 minutes playing Rock Band with Linnaea and David. We just got it today (yay!!). I play lots of their games with them. I play Halo, even though it takes me a while to adjust to first person shoot 'em ups, they are fairly tolerant and very amused by my clumsiness. Although if they want to play a challenging game they will ask if it's alright that I not play. It always is.
I've done that all the way through. Simon used to sit on my lap while playing Tonka Construction with the tools table that strapped on to the keyboard and Blues Clues and Putt Putt and all the other games we had when he was small. And when Linnaea grew to an age where she wanted to play on the computer she would sit on my lap and play, in a very similar way. Although she didn't like me to be involved as much. She just wanted me to sit there and be with her while she played. She was probably less interested, played at the computer less.
My brother bought Simon a game boy advance when he was 4. We got a hold of a pokemon game for it and he would sit cuddle up with me while I read every line of text and he excitedly worked to catch 'em all. He didn't, but it was so wonderful to play with him that way.
The games and time around the games becomes, in moments, like when we are out driving in the car. Two nights ago I sat with Linnaea for a couple of hours while she played Golden Compass and I ran and researched the cheats she needed and came back and hung out more and we chatted a bit and talked about weird things in the game and what was like the movie and what wasn't and other things. Sometimes I could help her, but more often I was just there because she wanted my company and that was really nice.
Play with him. Or sit with him while he plays. Don't wait for the time in the car, play with him. Oh, and sometimes, when I know Linnaea or Simon needs food right then, I will feed them while they play. It usually ends with laughter. And they eat. And when they get to a point where they can stop or pause the game, they'll feed themselves.
Schuyler
________________________________
What else can I do to support him? If I try to discuss it with him,
what kind of things should I say or not say? Should I try to get us
out more so that he sees more variety in his day; will that help or
hinder his self-regulation? I'm trying not to let his frustrations
frustrate me but that's difficult for me. I tend to take on other
ppl's moods, especially his. I know it doesn't help when we're both
frustrated and trying to communicate; what can I do at those times?
I really really need some practical "try this" ideas on how to
support him or help him manage it all.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I've done that all the way through. Simon used to sit on my lap while playing Tonka Construction with the tools table that strapped on to the keyboard and Blues Clues and Putt Putt and all the other games we had when he was small. And when Linnaea grew to an age where she wanted to play on the computer she would sit on my lap and play, in a very similar way. Although she didn't like me to be involved as much. She just wanted me to sit there and be with her while she played. She was probably less interested, played at the computer less.
My brother bought Simon a game boy advance when he was 4. We got a hold of a pokemon game for it and he would sit cuddle up with me while I read every line of text and he excitedly worked to catch 'em all. He didn't, but it was so wonderful to play with him that way.
The games and time around the games becomes, in moments, like when we are out driving in the car. Two nights ago I sat with Linnaea for a couple of hours while she played Golden Compass and I ran and researched the cheats she needed and came back and hung out more and we chatted a bit and talked about weird things in the game and what was like the movie and what wasn't and other things. Sometimes I could help her, but more often I was just there because she wanted my company and that was really nice.
Play with him. Or sit with him while he plays. Don't wait for the time in the car, play with him. Oh, and sometimes, when I know Linnaea or Simon needs food right then, I will feed them while they play. It usually ends with laughter. And they eat. And when they get to a point where they can stop or pause the game, they'll feed themselves.
Schuyler
________________________________
What else can I do to support him? If I try to discuss it with him,
what kind of things should I say or not say? Should I try to get us
out more so that he sees more variety in his day; will that help or
hinder his self-regulation? I'm trying not to let his frustrations
frustrate me but that's difficult for me. I tend to take on other
ppl's moods, especially his. I know it doesn't help when we're both
frustrated and trying to communicate; what can I do at those times?
I really really need some practical "try this" ideas on how to
support him or help him manage it all.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tara
Meredith, what you said about a developmental shift makes a lot of
sense. Not only are we seeing changes biologically (eek!), I've
noticed he's been doing a lot of "little kid" vs "tween" stuff and
putting himself in the latter category.
Schuyler, no I don't play but DH does. I have tried but the sounds
and images are just too much for me. I easily get affected with
sensory overload. I can and have played DS with him which is much
easier but he's not into his DS right now. It's all about the Xbox
currently for him and DH. :) But it does suck because he and I don't
have much that we can do together.
ejeosann, it's not that I feel like he "shouldn't" play. I just don't
have the tools to support him and help him problem-solve the problems
he encounters while playing.
The feeling stuck in a rut rings true also. I have plenty to keep
myself busy - I love to garden and am working on *big* plans there. I
also moderate a local group and am active with a photog group in
town. But we don't do much together. We don't have that many things
for Zeb to do.
A few days ago we had agreed to have a "family meeting". At first we
tried to have fun by making it all official but ya know that only
lasted for about 30 seconds. But we all talked about how we're
feeling about things and what we're needing. It actually went really
well (after DH got the idea of the "I statements" ;).
I talked to Zeb about feeling unsure of how to help him when he's
frustrated and he gave me some ideas. He mentioned he plays on VD
because there isnothing else to do and I said I thought we couldn't
do anything cuz he wanted to play VD! We talked about things we'd
like to do more of and ideas we had. As I type this he is
brainstoring everything we need to build an engine with a go-kart to
put it in (complete with a roll bar and tacks to drop out the back on
other racers). :) I'm off to Google and Amazon to find some resources
on building electric go-karts! :O
Other than huge projects like this, how do you guys keep
things "sparkly" on a day to day basis?
sense. Not only are we seeing changes biologically (eek!), I've
noticed he's been doing a lot of "little kid" vs "tween" stuff and
putting himself in the latter category.
Schuyler, no I don't play but DH does. I have tried but the sounds
and images are just too much for me. I easily get affected with
sensory overload. I can and have played DS with him which is much
easier but he's not into his DS right now. It's all about the Xbox
currently for him and DH. :) But it does suck because he and I don't
have much that we can do together.
ejeosann, it's not that I feel like he "shouldn't" play. I just don't
have the tools to support him and help him problem-solve the problems
he encounters while playing.
The feeling stuck in a rut rings true also. I have plenty to keep
myself busy - I love to garden and am working on *big* plans there. I
also moderate a local group and am active with a photog group in
town. But we don't do much together. We don't have that many things
for Zeb to do.
A few days ago we had agreed to have a "family meeting". At first we
tried to have fun by making it all official but ya know that only
lasted for about 30 seconds. But we all talked about how we're
feeling about things and what we're needing. It actually went really
well (after DH got the idea of the "I statements" ;).
I talked to Zeb about feeling unsure of how to help him when he's
frustrated and he gave me some ideas. He mentioned he plays on VD
because there isnothing else to do and I said I thought we couldn't
do anything cuz he wanted to play VD! We talked about things we'd
like to do more of and ideas we had. As I type this he is
brainstoring everything we need to build an engine with a go-kart to
put it in (complete with a roll bar and tacks to drop out the back on
other racers). :) I'm off to Google and Amazon to find some resources
on building electric go-karts! :O
Other than huge projects like this, how do you guys keep
things "sparkly" on a day to day basis?
Zoa Conner
My ds10.5 has the same issue right now. He emptied his room of all the
little kid toys and play stuff. He adores several video games and watching
youtube on all sorts of things. His dream to be one of the richest men in
the world and have lots of stuff (helicopters, limos, etc.). He has no idea
what he¹d like to do to get there.
It doesn¹t help that he broke his arm 3 weeks ago and so his newly begun
physical activities (martial arts) and other things he enjoys (swimming,
gymnastics) are on hold.
He has loved to read in the past - but is stuck in his reading as well. He
reads Hardy Boys so quickly but things like Harry Potter look so daunting to
him that he will not read it. Yes, I have read to him whatever he wanted and
we have watched the movies. But he is stuck.
We don¹t get much time alone together. Recently we have been watching the
West Wing a lot and talking about politics and anything else that comes up
from the show.
I get a lot of I don¹t know or maybe answers when I ask if he¹d like to try
something.
How can I better support his exploration for new passions?
Zoa
little kid toys and play stuff. He adores several video games and watching
youtube on all sorts of things. His dream to be one of the richest men in
the world and have lots of stuff (helicopters, limos, etc.). He has no idea
what he¹d like to do to get there.
It doesn¹t help that he broke his arm 3 weeks ago and so his newly begun
physical activities (martial arts) and other things he enjoys (swimming,
gymnastics) are on hold.
He has loved to read in the past - but is stuck in his reading as well. He
reads Hardy Boys so quickly but things like Harry Potter look so daunting to
him that he will not read it. Yes, I have read to him whatever he wanted and
we have watched the movies. But he is stuck.
We don¹t get much time alone together. Recently we have been watching the
West Wing a lot and talking about politics and anything else that comes up
from the show.
I get a lot of I don¹t know or maybe answers when I ask if he¹d like to try
something.
How can I better support his exploration for new passions?
Zoa
On 3/2/09 11:42 AM, "Meredith" <meredith@...> wrote:
> I'm suspecting he's going through a developmental shift where a lot
> of stuff that seemed fun when he was "a little kid" just doesn't
> appeal anymore. He may be in a rut, but you haven't been able to
> offer him anything better yet, so he's stuck. That's a challenge for
> you! Use some of the times y'all are doing other things together
> (riding in the car) to brainstorm some new avenues of exploration.
> What are some of his dreams and wishes and fantasies? If you're
> feeling stuck, too, let Us know and we'll help brainstorm!
----------------
Zoa Conner, PhD
Physicist and Organic Learning Mother
zoaconner@...
*Handmade stuff @ http://earthyzee.etsy.com
*LaPlata Area Food Delivery @ http://laplata-area-food.blogspot.com
http://zzz-organic.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 3/4/2009 5:27 AM, Zoa Conner wrote:
you might watch together. Other political shows or movies? Other shows
that have some of the same actors?
I live not too far from two presidential libraries - the Nixon Library
and the Reagan library. They have some awesome (if biased) exhibits. For
example, at the Reagan library you can go on board Air Force 1 (the
presidential airplane). There is also a helicopter there, as I recall.
Anyway - you might look for places that have some political connection.
Would he like to volunteer for a political campaign? You might look into
local elections - Los Angeles just had one this week. My daughter (a
huge west wing fan) worked in a polling place this past election and it
was a fascinating experience for her.
Maybe see if you can get a tour of your city hall. If you're close
enough to your state capitol, there is usually a state museum that has
political stuff and you can visit the capitol building, sometimes even
get a chance to meet your state representatives.
An interest in martial arts could also be a jumping off point - go to
some martial arts demonstrations, for example. Rent a whole bunch of
Bruce Lee movies - have a marathon. You HAVE watched Karate Kid, right?
Just stop by some martial arts studios of various kinds and watch their
classes (even if just for a few minutes) - aikido, judo, etc.
Think in two directions at once - expanding and building upon current
interests and exposing him to new possibilities.
By the way, just asking a kid if they're interested in something might
very often not elicit interest, but asking them to go with you to see
some exhibit or to an event that you want to see might work better. Just
be really flexible and willing to stay only a very short time, if that's
his preference.
-pam
> We don¹t get much time alone together. Recently we have been watching theIf watching West Wing is interesting to him, then think about what else
> West Wing a lot and talking about politics and anything else that comes up
> from the show.
>
> I get a lot of I don¹t know or maybe answers when I ask if he¹d like to try
> something.
>
> How can I better support his exploration for new passions?
>
>
you might watch together. Other political shows or movies? Other shows
that have some of the same actors?
I live not too far from two presidential libraries - the Nixon Library
and the Reagan library. They have some awesome (if biased) exhibits. For
example, at the Reagan library you can go on board Air Force 1 (the
presidential airplane). There is also a helicopter there, as I recall.
Anyway - you might look for places that have some political connection.
Would he like to volunteer for a political campaign? You might look into
local elections - Los Angeles just had one this week. My daughter (a
huge west wing fan) worked in a polling place this past election and it
was a fascinating experience for her.
Maybe see if you can get a tour of your city hall. If you're close
enough to your state capitol, there is usually a state museum that has
political stuff and you can visit the capitol building, sometimes even
get a chance to meet your state representatives.
An interest in martial arts could also be a jumping off point - go to
some martial arts demonstrations, for example. Rent a whole bunch of
Bruce Lee movies - have a marathon. You HAVE watched Karate Kid, right?
Just stop by some martial arts studios of various kinds and watch their
classes (even if just for a few minutes) - aikido, judo, etc.
Think in two directions at once - expanding and building upon current
interests and exposing him to new possibilities.
By the way, just asking a kid if they're interested in something might
very often not elicit interest, but asking them to go with you to see
some exhibit or to an event that you want to see might work better. Just
be really flexible and willing to stay only a very short time, if that's
his preference.
-pam