Economic realities
griesellists
This is a general post intended to encourage discussion.
Has your relationship with your children or your unschooling practices
(not philosophy, just what you actually get to do) been affected by the
state of the economy?
Have your kids been expressing fears about their economic futures or
frustration at things you might have been able to purchase for them a
year ago but cannot this year?
How much do you choose to share with children of different ages about
family finances or your views of the economic future of the world in
general?
Tamara
Has your relationship with your children or your unschooling practices
(not philosophy, just what you actually get to do) been affected by the
state of the economy?
Have your kids been expressing fears about their economic futures or
frustration at things you might have been able to purchase for them a
year ago but cannot this year?
How much do you choose to share with children of different ages about
family finances or your views of the economic future of the world in
general?
Tamara
Kelly Lovejoy
-----Original Message-----
From: griesellists <griesellists@...>
Has your relationship with your children or your unschooling practices
(not philosophy, just what you actually get to do) been affected by the
state of the economy?
-=-=-=-=-
I doubt any of us will be traveling as much as we have these past two years, but we had made that decision a while ago. Nevertheless, we just got back from Ohio, Cam's leaving for the NE this weekend, both boys are going to camp, and we're all going to the NE conference in August. The California trip is out at this time.
Our 7 year old minivan died last week, and we can't afford another new one, so we're looking at "pre-owned." If I didn't want all the bells and whistles, we could afford a new one, but I like all the bells and whistles. Means looking harder and being more cautious, but it's a cool process for us all.
Our relationship hasn't changed at all though.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Have your kids been expressing fears about their economic futures or
frustration at things you might have been able to purchase for them a
year ago but cannot this year?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Have *you*?
We don't live in fear. Seriously. I don't think that's a good way to think about the future---or
the present.
-=-=-=-=-=-
How much do you choose to share with children of different ages about
family finances or your views of the economic future of the world in
general?
-=-=-=-
There's no=2
0crystal ball predicting the economic future. There are predictions, sure. But none that are guarantees. Ben has a secure job. I make money all sorts of ways. I already barter for many of our things because it works for us and I have "barterable" skills.
The boys (21 and 13 (on Sunday!)) know our financial situation really well. We've always been very open about our finances---even the bankruptcy. <g> When I say that I can't afford something, they know I CANNOT. 'Cause they know that if I *could*, I would. If I say no, they understand.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." ~Gandhi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: griesellists <griesellists@...>
Has your relationship with your children or your unschooling practices
(not philosophy, just what you actually get to do) been affected by the
state of the economy?
-=-=-=-=-
I doubt any of us will be traveling as much as we have these past two years, but we had made that decision a while ago. Nevertheless, we just got back from Ohio, Cam's leaving for the NE this weekend, both boys are going to camp, and we're all going to the NE conference in August. The California trip is out at this time.
Our 7 year old minivan died last week, and we can't afford another new one, so we're looking at "pre-owned." If I didn't want all the bells and whistles, we could afford a new one, but I like all the bells and whistles. Means looking harder and being more cautious, but it's a cool process for us all.
Our relationship hasn't changed at all though.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Have your kids been expressing fears about their economic futures or
frustration at things you might have been able to purchase for them a
year ago but cannot this year?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Have *you*?
We don't live in fear. Seriously. I don't think that's a good way to think about the future---or
the present.
-=-=-=-=-=-
How much do you choose to share with children of different ages about
family finances or your views of the economic future of the world in
general?
-=-=-=-
There's no=2
0crystal ball predicting the economic future. There are predictions, sure. But none that are guarantees. Ben has a secure job. I make money all sorts of ways. I already barter for many of our things because it works for us and I have "barterable" skills.
The boys (21 and 13 (on Sunday!)) know our financial situation really well. We've always been very open about our finances---even the bankruptcy. <g> When I say that I can't afford something, they know I CANNOT. 'Cause they know that if I *could*, I would. If I say no, they understand.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." ~Gandhi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christine Yablonski
Our family's finances are treated as yet another piece of information about our lives. Last
year my husband, who is our only source of income, lost his job very unexpectedly.
Although we were concerned there was no panic. We sat down together & looked at our
known fixed expenses (ex: mortgage), flexible expenses (ex: groceries), & expenses we
could choose to reduce/eliminate if needed (ex: the basement finishing project we were
just about to start).
After looking at it all we crafted a Plan A, Plan B, etc., outlining what things we believed
should get cut out or reduced first. This was a whole family discussion & no one was
made to feel they had to give up anything important to them. The kids, who were 11 & 13
at the time, immediately offered up ways they could help us conserve funds until Dad got
a new job. They really wanted to help any way they could (my son even offered to sell his
gaming systems, which we declined).
Having a Family Plan helped us feel more in control of our situation. We definitely had a
"we're in this together" feeling. In fact, this really was just a more focused version of what
we do anyways - we try to plan out our bigger family expenses a year ahead of time,
prioritizing with the kids. That's why Unschooling conferences were always at the top of
the expenses wish list every year! After earmarking the money for the conference(s), we
could see how much we had for other projects, trips, activities, etc., & budget accordingly.
This is what works for us.
Christine
year my husband, who is our only source of income, lost his job very unexpectedly.
Although we were concerned there was no panic. We sat down together & looked at our
known fixed expenses (ex: mortgage), flexible expenses (ex: groceries), & expenses we
could choose to reduce/eliminate if needed (ex: the basement finishing project we were
just about to start).
After looking at it all we crafted a Plan A, Plan B, etc., outlining what things we believed
should get cut out or reduced first. This was a whole family discussion & no one was
made to feel they had to give up anything important to them. The kids, who were 11 & 13
at the time, immediately offered up ways they could help us conserve funds until Dad got
a new job. They really wanted to help any way they could (my son even offered to sell his
gaming systems, which we declined).
Having a Family Plan helped us feel more in control of our situation. We definitely had a
"we're in this together" feeling. In fact, this really was just a more focused version of what
we do anyways - we try to plan out our bigger family expenses a year ahead of time,
prioritizing with the kids. That's why Unschooling conferences were always at the top of
the expenses wish list every year! After earmarking the money for the conference(s), we
could see how much we had for other projects, trips, activities, etc., & budget accordingly.
This is what works for us.
Christine
--- In [email protected], "griesellists" <griesellists@...> wrote:
>
> This is a general post intended to encourage discussion.
>
> Has your relationship with your children or your unschooling practices
> (not philosophy, just what you actually get to do) been affected by the
> state of the economy?
>
> Have your kids been expressing fears about their economic futures or
> frustration at things you might have been able to purchase for them a
> year ago but cannot this year?
>
> How much do you choose to share with children of different ages about
> family finances or your views of the economic future of the world in
> general?
>
> Tamara
>
Heather & Markus Schleidt
All I know to say about this is I am as truly honest with my kids as possible, age-appropriate, because growing up my mother cried a lot and would mope around the house repeating that we were going to end up living in a cardboard box under a bridge. She would say this with such intensity and sincerity that I grew to fear money and the consequences of not having it. It wasn't until I was in college that I learned that my father made almost 6 figures at a time when that was considered VERY high income. Boy, was I resentful at the way we had been treated and misled.
Recently my father retired, as I mentioned in a previous post, to come work for my husband, and he is making less than half of what he has ever made. He is excited and happy about his position, however, my mother has started up with her "I don't want to be living under a bridge" speech again. We are not rich, but we could certainly provide for her if something ever happened. I am amazed at how people do not like to talk about money.
I talk about it with just about anyone that asks me because it no longer controls me. My husband's income took a 30% cut because of the economy, so we sat down with my 8 and 5 yo and asked them what their priorities were for this year, although I understood they could change. Then I told them that daddy and I would do our very best to make sure that we budgeted money for the things that were important to them, but would have to make some concessions if money got tighter. They were great. My oldest said he didn't really like baseball and would rather just hit some balls in the park than to play on an organized team, but he would rather not give up art. My 5 yo said that he could wait until his birthday to get more Wii games. None of this was forced or coerced, just a discussion about reality without making them scared. Plus, they don't resent it when I tell them we don't have the money. They understand and even volunteer to use their own if they want it bad enough.
I would love to be able to say yes to their every interest or desire, but with four children, that isn't financially possible. We have our personal goals, too, that we choose to save for, and we inform the kids about those decisions, too. My husband even showed our 8 yo the stock market and all the money we had invested, how much it had lost, and what the predictions are for a 30 year investment. He didn't frighten him in any way about the losses, just matter-of-fact information and hope for the future of our financial stability.
I feel that most people don't talk about money with their kids because they are barely getting by and don't want their kids to realize that. They want their kids to see them as truly financially successful, which is what gets our children in trouble later, because they have never seen someone struggle financially and then are embarassed to admit that they made mistakes. We talk about our mistakes (many!!) and also our successes. It is a balance and I feel children can handle more than we give them, especially if we do it in a non-threatening way.
Heather - PS - I try to pay cash for everything I can, when possible, so that my children see the reality of the cash going out of my wallet over the counter to pay for the goods or services. I think it gives them a better grasp on money, rather than just charging everything. Just a thought.
To: [email protected]
From: griesellists@...
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:54:30 +0000
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Economic realities
This is a general post intended to encourage discussion.
Has your relationship with your children or your unschooling practices
(not philosophy, just what you actually get to do) been affected by the
state of the economy?
Have your kids been expressing fears about their economic futures or
frustration at things you might have been able to purchase for them a
year ago but cannot this year?
How much do you choose to share with children of different ages about
family finances or your views of the economic future of the world in
general?
Tamara
_________________________________________________________________
Windows Live� Hotmail�:�more than just e-mail.
http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t2_hm_justgotbetter_explore_022009
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Recently my father retired, as I mentioned in a previous post, to come work for my husband, and he is making less than half of what he has ever made. He is excited and happy about his position, however, my mother has started up with her "I don't want to be living under a bridge" speech again. We are not rich, but we could certainly provide for her if something ever happened. I am amazed at how people do not like to talk about money.
I talk about it with just about anyone that asks me because it no longer controls me. My husband's income took a 30% cut because of the economy, so we sat down with my 8 and 5 yo and asked them what their priorities were for this year, although I understood they could change. Then I told them that daddy and I would do our very best to make sure that we budgeted money for the things that were important to them, but would have to make some concessions if money got tighter. They were great. My oldest said he didn't really like baseball and would rather just hit some balls in the park than to play on an organized team, but he would rather not give up art. My 5 yo said that he could wait until his birthday to get more Wii games. None of this was forced or coerced, just a discussion about reality without making them scared. Plus, they don't resent it when I tell them we don't have the money. They understand and even volunteer to use their own if they want it bad enough.
I would love to be able to say yes to their every interest or desire, but with four children, that isn't financially possible. We have our personal goals, too, that we choose to save for, and we inform the kids about those decisions, too. My husband even showed our 8 yo the stock market and all the money we had invested, how much it had lost, and what the predictions are for a 30 year investment. He didn't frighten him in any way about the losses, just matter-of-fact information and hope for the future of our financial stability.
I feel that most people don't talk about money with their kids because they are barely getting by and don't want their kids to realize that. They want their kids to see them as truly financially successful, which is what gets our children in trouble later, because they have never seen someone struggle financially and then are embarassed to admit that they made mistakes. We talk about our mistakes (many!!) and also our successes. It is a balance and I feel children can handle more than we give them, especially if we do it in a non-threatening way.
Heather - PS - I try to pay cash for everything I can, when possible, so that my children see the reality of the cash going out of my wallet over the counter to pay for the goods or services. I think it gives them a better grasp on money, rather than just charging everything. Just a thought.
To: [email protected]
From: griesellists@...
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:54:30 +0000
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Economic realities
This is a general post intended to encourage discussion.
Has your relationship with your children or your unschooling practices
(not philosophy, just what you actually get to do) been affected by the
state of the economy?
Have your kids been expressing fears about their economic futures or
frustration at things you might have been able to purchase for them a
year ago but cannot this year?
How much do you choose to share with children of different ages about
family finances or your views of the economic future of the world in
general?
Tamara
_________________________________________________________________
Windows Live� Hotmail�:�more than just e-mail.
http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t2_hm_justgotbetter_explore_022009
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tammy Curry
We were guilty of trying to hide our financial problems from our kids. It created a lot of hostility. Though things are improving now we had to come clean with them. They understood why we had to say no sometimes and also appreciate what we can do for them a lot more. We sit and discuss our budget openly and include them so that if there is something special that they want to do or even just an everyday thing they want, they can see that we might have to save up for it or might have to wait for another paycheck before it happens. But they get to help decide where some of the money goes and how important it is that we work as a family to achieve our goals. They come to us and say that they want to do X, do we have it in the budget to do so. So we sit down and look over the spread sheet and see if we can swing it or not. Happily these days we can swing a lot more. It also helped our stress levels not to have to hide it from them. They are sharing in the
joy of being able to relax and see that we aren't struggling to get by anymore. But during tight times they learned a lot of ways to be frugal and how to plan for emergencies. Besides money math seems to be a whole lot more interesting the regular math drills anyway. It means we can go shopping!! Just ask the up and coming fashion designer who needs more fabric and supplies, she wants to move into making her own clothes instead of ones just for her dolls.
Tammy Curry, Director of Chaos
http://tammycurry.blogspot.com/
http://crazy-homeschool-adventures.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joy of being able to relax and see that we aren't struggling to get by anymore. But during tight times they learned a lot of ways to be frugal and how to plan for emergencies. Besides money math seems to be a whole lot more interesting the regular math drills anyway. It means we can go shopping!! Just ask the up and coming fashion designer who needs more fabric and supplies, she wants to move into making her own clothes instead of ones just for her dolls.
Tammy Curry, Director of Chaos
http://tammycurry.blogspot.com/
http://crazy-homeschool-adventures.blogspot.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Debra Rossing
>I try to pay cash for everything I can, when possible, so that mychildren see the reality of the cash going out of my wallet over the
counter to pay for the goods or services. I think it gives them a better
grasp on money, rather than just charging everything
That is helpful. Another helpful thing is stuff like refillable cards
(like for Starbucks) and gift cards - DS loves Visa gift cards because
he can use them anywhere for anything that I'd use a Visa card for. He
knows that if he spends on A, he won't have money for B and so on. Gives
him a sense of 'plastic' as having real monetary value, not just cash.
He was about 5 or 6 when he walked into Best Buy with over $100 in gift
cards (after Christmas), had me write a list of things he thought looked
cool (item, price, any other notes he wanted added)...then we walked out
to the car, sat down, juggled the list as he chose, then walked back in
and bought the top ONE item for about $20-$30 and left (his choice, he
just wanted that one thing right then, the rest could wait). Over the
next 6 months or so, we went here and there picking up the items from
his list or new items that bumped the others in priority. He has a cash
allowance paid twice per month when I get paid so he knows that cash
goes out to pay for goods and services and he chooses how that gets
spent. (He's had an allowance since he was about 5 or so, he's almost 11
now). He does like it when we pay cash if we're at a restaurant because
it's faster to get done and out.
Deb R
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