being with the kids vs. in other room
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This topic was touched on maybe last week but I didn't get the chance
to chime in then. I've been trying to spend more time each day
connected with the kids and doing something with them. I too, find
that since we are home "together" all day that it is sometimes easy to
think to myself "gee- since we're always together, I'll go off and do
my own thing (cook, email, read a book) upstairs while the kids watch
this show, use the PS2, etc"
So, I try to make sure that I do some of those things "with" them
each day too (we are all loving the new Playstation & DS)- plus the
other stuff like cuddling, reading books together, and what-not.
The thing is, I find that they don't always "want" me to hang out and
do those things with them. We used to play board games A LOT and have
tons of great ones- lately they've been using the PS2, DS, or watching
TV alot and I have to admit that I am feeling left out. I'm NOT feeling
bad about all the other stuff that isn't getting used this winter now
that we have video games & a TV (as we are really enjoying them) it's
just that we do have lots of other great stuff to do too...
Yes, we do those things (video gaming & TV) together too (I have
figured out a few games on the PS2 and dd needs my help for most of her
DS games at least to get her started). We cuddle up on the couch
together to watch TV and read, but I have been feeling like although
I'm strewing or suggesting other interesting stuff to do together,
right now they are pretty happy with this groove they have of building
with legos alone (well actually the kids are together in the basement
playing) and don't really "need" me down there with them anymore.
They don't complain though if I plop down next to them on the couch
while they watch a movie, it's just that they don't always "need" me to
be there.
So, part of it may be that they are growing up- almost 9 and 6, they
are also getting along great lately and have been enjoying playing
together without me, plus the introduction of the electronics has kept
them busy this winter too. When they were younger, there was always
that constant interaction between us and the need to entertain/ play
with them, as they get older and become more independent, that has
changed..
But, even though they don't need me there as much any more, I've been
trying to make a concious effort to be near them when they are doing
things even if we're not doing them together- I can read my book in the
basement near the woodstove while they build with legos and listen to a
book on tape- then I'm there to see each creation, change the CD
without them needing to yell up to find me, etc.
And I try to find new things for us to do together, suggest playing a
game together, cooking something together, etc sometimes they take me
up on it, sometimes not.
We are also waiting for a foster care placement of an infant in our
home and I know that once the baby comes, we won't have as much time to
do some things together- I'll be busy with baby care...
Just wanted to mention how we''ve been handling this issue here lately.
Amanda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to chime in then. I've been trying to spend more time each day
connected with the kids and doing something with them. I too, find
that since we are home "together" all day that it is sometimes easy to
think to myself "gee- since we're always together, I'll go off and do
my own thing (cook, email, read a book) upstairs while the kids watch
this show, use the PS2, etc"
So, I try to make sure that I do some of those things "with" them
each day too (we are all loving the new Playstation & DS)- plus the
other stuff like cuddling, reading books together, and what-not.
The thing is, I find that they don't always "want" me to hang out and
do those things with them. We used to play board games A LOT and have
tons of great ones- lately they've been using the PS2, DS, or watching
TV alot and I have to admit that I am feeling left out. I'm NOT feeling
bad about all the other stuff that isn't getting used this winter now
that we have video games & a TV (as we are really enjoying them) it's
just that we do have lots of other great stuff to do too...
Yes, we do those things (video gaming & TV) together too (I have
figured out a few games on the PS2 and dd needs my help for most of her
DS games at least to get her started). We cuddle up on the couch
together to watch TV and read, but I have been feeling like although
I'm strewing or suggesting other interesting stuff to do together,
right now they are pretty happy with this groove they have of building
with legos alone (well actually the kids are together in the basement
playing) and don't really "need" me down there with them anymore.
They don't complain though if I plop down next to them on the couch
while they watch a movie, it's just that they don't always "need" me to
be there.
So, part of it may be that they are growing up- almost 9 and 6, they
are also getting along great lately and have been enjoying playing
together without me, plus the introduction of the electronics has kept
them busy this winter too. When they were younger, there was always
that constant interaction between us and the need to entertain/ play
with them, as they get older and become more independent, that has
changed..
But, even though they don't need me there as much any more, I've been
trying to make a concious effort to be near them when they are doing
things even if we're not doing them together- I can read my book in the
basement near the woodstove while they build with legos and listen to a
book on tape- then I'm there to see each creation, change the CD
without them needing to yell up to find me, etc.
And I try to find new things for us to do together, suggest playing a
game together, cooking something together, etc sometimes they take me
up on it, sometimes not.
We are also waiting for a foster care placement of an infant in our
home and I know that once the baby comes, we won't have as much time to
do some things together- I'll be busy with baby care...
Just wanted to mention how we''ve been handling this issue here lately.
Amanda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ANGELA BERRY
Amanda,
We have the same ages and mine are both girls in the same boat! We all use to hang out together and keep very busy with different objects, crafts, kitchen etc. Now this past winter it has been the same. It seems the pattern of ton more friend play has drawn my girls away. As like you it makes me so sad to see and yet happy about the confident growth they are having. Such a two way feeling street, huh?
I have been doing a candle lite circle time with them and they love it so once we are done I will suggest another idea for us to do and keep them as long as I can that hour.
It is amazing how much of your email matched myself currently. How much time I feel I have and get not much accomplished trying to plan things that are not working out. I do have a toddler too and he is so busy and maybe that is what has drawn us apart some too.
;o( Angela
Mom to Jenna 9
Rylee 6
Gavin 19mo
We are in the cold state - Michigan
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We have the same ages and mine are both girls in the same boat! We all use to hang out together and keep very busy with different objects, crafts, kitchen etc. Now this past winter it has been the same. It seems the pattern of ton more friend play has drawn my girls away. As like you it makes me so sad to see and yet happy about the confident growth they are having. Such a two way feeling street, huh?
I have been doing a candle lite circle time with them and they love it so once we are done I will suggest another idea for us to do and keep them as long as I can that hour.
It is amazing how much of your email matched myself currently. How much time I feel I have and get not much accomplished trying to plan things that are not working out. I do have a toddler too and he is so busy and maybe that is what has drawn us apart some too.
;o( Angela
Mom to Jenna 9
Rylee 6
Gavin 19mo
We are in the cold state - Michigan
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]