hmschleidt

I am in the process of reading Naomi Aldort's "Raising Our Children,
Raising Ourselves", which I never would have read if I hadn't been
part of this group. She says to Separate yourself from the behavior
and visualize if what you are going to say is true about your child
and their behavior.

Well, today, my 3yo made a decent sized mess with A&D ointment (not
easy to clean up!!!) and right before I got angry with him I followed
her advice. I waited a minute and leaned down to him and said, "I
know you enjoy making a mess with this, but mommy is the one that has
to clean it up. What are you trying to do with it?" Then he
proceeded to tell me that he was trying to make sure his Webkin
didn't get a diaper rash. I listened and offered a solution to clean
up the ointment and help put a diaper on his stuffed animals. He was
happy, excited and we bonded instead of me yelling at him for making
a mess.

See - he wasn't intending on making a mess. He wanted to be helpful
and had I not just read that book I would have handled things the
same old way - treating him as if he was just trying to make a mess
that I had to clean up.

I don't know who recommended the book and I'm not finished yet, but
THANK YOU!!! I am really trying to be a different parent and I like
my kids and self much better!

Heather

[email protected]

Hi,
What has helped me over the years, is not to see it as a mess, I look at it
as their play, their play maybe messy, but they usually are not making an
intentional mess,and as my kids have gotten over, they offense when someone
calls their play a mess. I also see it as a way to express their creativity, and
I now really appreciate the creative individuals they have become, which I
attribute a lot of that to their messy play, that I didn't mind cleaning up.
Samantha
(Brandon 13, Amanda 11, Allison 8)
**************Need a job? Find an employment agency near you.
(http://yellowpages.aol.com/search?query=employment_agencies&ncid=emlcntusyelp00000003)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Melissa

Heather. I am so happy for you. I am also reading the book and
trying so hard to put her methods in to practice. It is taking time,
but whenever I am able to stop myself from the old ways, I am able to
see the truth in my children's actions and we ALL come out of the
situation with understanding and resolve. I am glad to see others
are enjoying the book too. I am not sure who suggested it, but I am
raising my hand in agreement!!!!!!
Melissa -Ocala



--- In [email protected], "hmschleidt"
<hmschleidt@...> wrote:
>
> I am in the process of reading Naomi Aldort's "Raising Our
Children,
> Raising Ourselves", which I never would have read if I hadn't been
> part of this group. She says to Separate yourself from the
behavior
> and visualize if what you are going to say is true about your child
> and their behavior.
>
> Well, today, my 3yo made a decent sized mess with A&D ointment (not
> easy to clean up!!!) and right before I got angry with him I
followed
> her advice. I waited a minute and leaned down to him and said, "I
> know you enjoy making a mess with this, but mommy is the one that
has
> to clean it up. What are you trying to do with it?" Then he
> proceeded to tell me that he was trying to make sure his Webkin
> didn't get a diaper rash. I listened and offered a solution to
clean
> up the ointment and help put a diaper on his stuffed animals. He
was
> happy, excited and we bonded instead of me yelling at him for
making
> a mess.
>
> See - he wasn't intending on making a mess. He wanted to be
helpful
> and had I not just read that book I would have handled things the
> same old way - treating him as if he was just trying to make a mess
> that I had to clean up.
>
> I don't know who recommended the book and I'm not finished yet, but
> THANK YOU!!! I am really trying to be a different parent and I
like
> my kids and self much better!
>
> Heather
>