Kelly Lovejoy

The following is a post from Jeff Sabo to everyone who is contemplating attending an unschooling conference, noncon, or gathering.



It's heartwarming to know how the conferences have touched (and continue to touch) folks from around the globe. 




If you're on the fence about attending one, read on.


 ~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." ~Gandhi




***********************************************************************




Well, I am beginning to get amazingly excited about the first of our two unschooling 
conferences this year, Life is Good, held in Vancouver, WA on May 21-24. I absolutely 
LOVE conferences; they are ways to connect with old friends, meet new ones, relax, and 
celebrate all that is good and wonderful in our lives.

Have you ever been to a conference? Are you uncertain about going? Is your husband or 
partner resistant? I know what that's like, and it can be scary as hell - but so incredibly 
rewarding. Read on.

Every time another conference approaches, it reminds me of how I felt in the months 
leading up to my first one, Live and Learn in Albuquerque in 2006. When Ginger told me 
she wanted to go, I was pretty unsure - a conference? I mean REALLY? I've been to a ton of 
conferences in my professional life, and they are so - - well - - boring and formal. I
mean, Conferences are places where we all wear name badges, and sit around at tables 
forcing
conversation with people we don't know. Conferences are where we pick up 37 
pounds of printed flyers and brochures that we'll never read again. They're places where 
we fight to stay awake all day so we can earn the right to go back to our rooms and watch 
TV. I mean, unschooling sounded okay - - I was even kinda enjoying it. Why the hell did I 
need to fly across the country to bore myself?

As the conference got closer, my concerns took a new turn. No longer was I worried about 
being bored; I was worried about being overwhelmed and unaccepted. What if everyone 
there already knew each other? What if I wasn't cool enough, or funny enough, or smart 
enough, or - - God forbid - - unschooly enough? I had serious visions that someone 
would approach Ginger a few days into the conference, point at me, and say "He doesn't 
belong here - - I think you should reconsider this unschooling thing."

When we were flying there, I began to feel better, but still had one nagging concern; all of 
these Dads were probably so cool, and they probably had neat non-traditional careers that 
allowed them to stay home and be with their kids all of the time, and how could I possibly 
compete with that? Did I even deserve to be here? What the hell would I do when I got to 
the hotel and the whole thing started?

And then we got there, and the rest of my life began. The entire weekend was a dream: I 
learned, I laughed, I cried, I=2
0relaxed, I played, I created, I asked, I answered, I dug deep, I 
slept, I stayed up all night, I followed my kids around everywhere they wanted me to and 
left them alone when they wanted that, I was challenged, I challenged, I made amazing 
friends from 6 months old to 70, and I came to one essential understanding of my life: 
happiness is king and rules all. My happiness, Ginger's Kai's, Kade's, and everyone else 
that we had a chance to interact with.

So here's what I did at my first conference, and why I think you should go:

I went to main presentations: the ones from Ren Allen and Ben Lovejoy stood out, 
primarily because they made me think about the love I have for my children and how 
much it can still deepen.

I went to circle chats and smaller meetings. My first circle chat was with Barbara Chase, 
and while way too many brain cells have left the building to remember the exact topic, I do 
recall feeling energized and excited by one critical thing: not everyone there was an 
"expert" or "radical", and they were all learning and growing, just like me - even the folks 
who have been doing it for years.

I went to SSUDS meetings. The Secret Society of Unschooling Dads is really just a cool 
acronym; there's nothing secret about it. My first SSUDS meeting was just dads and 
grandads and such, with lots of no-holds barred Q&A about being a Dad and unschooling. 
I asked tons of questions, and was challenged all alo
ng the way. It was rough for me, 
because many of the answers I got were strange and new - but the people who answered 
me did it from the heart, with no other goal than to make me a better unschooling dad. 
And then after the meeting and all through the weekend, they each sought me out to talk 
one-on-one.

I ran a fun shop. What a great way to meet people! Fun shops are just that; fun, fun, fun. 
We decided to make tissue paper kites ,and brought tissue paper, string, decorations, 
markers, glue sticks, etc. Kids and their parents just flowed in for the whole hour, and we 
found ourselves scrambling just to catch up and keep them all supplied! But we met so 
many cool people and cool kids, and that helped us make connections that led to deeper 
conversations over that weekend - and over the years since.

I participated in the raffle and instant gratification table. I got a chance to buy raffle tickets 
and bid on all sorts of exciting gift baskets and other cool stuff. The kids got to 
participate, too. Another fantastic way to meet people and experience new things.

I actually got on stage during the talent show. A bunch of the younger set got on stage 
and sang "Another Brick in the Wall", and I just couldn't resist! Subsequent years have seen 
me up dancing to "The Time Warp" and "Thriller", among other silly stuff.

I walked to a coffee shop every day; just to escape for a little while and get some "me" 
time.


I watched Cartoon Network for the first time. Before the conference, we didn't have cable 
at all; never had! But since that very first episode of "Courage the Cowardly Dog" I realized 
that TV is not an instrument of the Devil; it is another wonderful way to connect with my 
kids.

I let go. I let go of almost everything: bed times, TV control, the need to be right, the need 
to be on-time, the need to know where my kids were and with whom, the need to be in 
control - and most of all, my preconceived notions that had defined unschooling in a 
rigid, formulaic fashion.

And most importantly, I learned. Without even trying, or wanting to, or planning to, or 
even knowing it was happening. While I learned things about unschooling, to be sure, I 
mostly learned about myself, my life, my family, my goals, my fears, and my passions.

A conference can be all of this, and more. All it takes for you to have a similar, wonderful, 
life-changing experience is to come and let it happen. Look for the people who look 
peaceful and are smiling; they're the ones who know and are there to help you make the 
same journey.





~Jeff Sabo






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dina

thank you kelly for posting that and jeff for writing it. i've been on the fence about
attending the Great Big Happy Life conference in April and have finally decided to go.

dina

--- In [email protected], Kelly Lovejoy <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
>
> The following is a post from Jeff Sabo to everyone who is contemplating attending an
unschooling conference, noncon, or gathering.
>
>
>
> It's heartwarming to know how the conferences have touched (and continue to touch)
folks from around the globe. 
>
>
>
>
> If you're on the fence about attending one, read on.
>
>
>  ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." ~Gandhi
>
>
>
>
> ***********************************************************************
>
>
>
>
> Well, I am beginning to get amazingly excited about the first of our two unschooling 
> conferences this year, Life is Good, held in Vancouver, WA on May 21-24. I absolutely 
> LOVE conferences; they are ways to connect with old friends, meet new ones, relax,
and 
> celebrate all that is good and wonderful in our lives.
>
> Have you ever been to a conference? Are you uncertain about going? Is your husband
or 
> partner resistant? I know what that's like, and it can be scary as hell - but so
incredibly 
> rewarding. Read on.
>
> Every time another conference approaches, it reminds me of how I felt in the months 
> leading up to my first one, Live and Learn in Albuquerque in 2006. When Ginger told
me 
> she wanted to go, I was pretty unsure - a conference? I mean REALLY? I've been to a ton
of 
> conferences in my professional life, and they are so - - well - - boring and formal. I
> mean, Conferences are places where we all wear name badges, and sit around at
tables 
> forcing
> conversation with people we don't know. Conferences are where we pick up 37 
> pounds of printed flyers and brochures that we'll never read again. They're places
where 
> we fight to stay awake all day so we can earn the right to go back to our rooms and
watch 
> TV. I mean, unschooling sounded okay - - I was even kinda enjoying it. Why the hell did
I 
> need to fly across the country to bore myself?
>
> As the conference got closer, my concerns took a new turn. No longer was I worried
about 
> being bored; I was worried about being overwhelmed and unaccepted. What if
everyone 
> there already knew each other? What if I wasn't cool enough, or funny enough, or
smart 
> enough, or - - God forbid - - unschooly enough? I had serious visions that someone 
> would approach Ginger a few days into the conference, point at me, and say "He
doesn't 
> belong here - - I think you should reconsider this unschooling thing."
>
> When we were flying there, I began to feel better, but still had one nagging concern; all
of 
> these Dads were probably so cool, and they probably had neat non-traditional careers
that 
> allowed them to stay home and be with their kids all of the time, and how could I
possibly 
> compete with that? Did I even deserve to be here? What the hell would I do when I got
to 
> the hotel and the whole thing started?
>
> And then we got there, and the rest of my life began. The entire weekend was a dream:
I 
> learned, I laughed, I cried, I=2
> 0relaxed, I played, I created, I asked, I answered, I dug deep, I 
> slept, I stayed up all night, I followed my kids around everywhere they wanted me to
and 
> left them alone when they wanted that, I was challenged, I challenged, I made
amazing 
> friends from 6 months old to 70, and I came to one essential understanding of my life: 
> happiness is king and rules all. My happiness, Ginger's Kai's, Kade's, and everyone else 
> that we had a chance to interact with.
>
> So here's what I did at my first conference, and why I think you should go:
>
> I went to main presentations: the ones from Ren Allen and Ben Lovejoy stood out, 
> primarily because they made me think about the love I have for my children and how 
> much it can still deepen.
>
> I went to circle chats and smaller meetings. My first circle chat was with Barbara
Chase, 
> and while way too many brain cells have left the building to remember the exact topic, I
do 
> recall feeling energized and excited by one critical thing: not everyone there was an 
> "expert" or "radical", and they were all learning and growing, just like me - even the
folks 
> who have been doing it for years.
>
> I went to SSUDS meetings. The Secret Society of Unschooling Dads is really just a cool 
> acronym; there's nothing secret about it. My first SSUDS meeting was just dads and 
> grandads and such, with lots of no-holds barred Q&A about being a Dad and
unschooling. 
> I asked tons of questions, and was challenged all alo
> ng the way. It was rough for me, 
> because many of the answers I got were strange and new - but the people who
answered 
> me did it from the heart, with no other goal than to make me a better unschooling
dad. 
> And then after the meeting and all through the weekend, they each sought me out to
talk 
> one-on-one.
>
> I ran a fun shop. What a great way to meet people! Fun shops are just that; fun, fun,
fun. 
> We decided to make tissue paper kites ,and brought tissue paper, string, decorations, 
> markers, glue sticks, etc. Kids and their parents just flowed in for the whole hour, and
we 
> found ourselves scrambling just to catch up and keep them all supplied! But we met
so 
> many cool people and cool kids, and that helped us make connections that led to
deeper 
> conversations over that weekend - and over the years since.
>
> I participated in the raffle and instant gratification table. I got a chance to buy raffle
tickets 
> and bid on all sorts of exciting gift baskets and other cool stuff. The kids got to 
> participate, too. Another fantastic way to meet people and experience new things.
>
> I actually got on stage during the talent show. A bunch of the younger set got on
stage 
> and sang "Another Brick in the Wall", and I just couldn't resist! Subsequent years have
seen 
> me up dancing to "The Time Warp" and "Thriller", among other silly stuff.
>
> I walked to a coffee shop every day; just to escape for a little while and get some "me" 
> time.
>
>
> I watched Cartoon Network for the first time. Before the conference, we didn't have
cable 
> at all; never had! But since that very first episode of "Courage the Cowardly Dog" I
realized 
> that TV is not an instrument of the Devil; it is another wonderful way to connect with
my 
> kids.
>
> I let go. I let go of almost everything: bed times, TV control, the need to be right, the
need 
> to be on-time, the need to know where my kids were and with whom, the need to be
in 
> control - and most of all, my preconceived notions that had defined unschooling in a 
> rigid, formulaic fashion.
>
> And most importantly, I learned. Without even trying, or wanting to, or planning to, or 
> even knowing it was happening. While I learned things about unschooling, to be sure,
I 
> mostly learned about myself, my life, my family, my goals, my fears, and my passions.
>
> A conference can be all of this, and more. All it takes for you to have a similar,
wonderful, 
> life-changing experience is to come and let it happen. Look for the people who look 
> peaceful and are smiling; they're the ones who know and are there to help you make
the 
> same journey.
>
>
>
>
>
> ~Jeff Sabo
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Jeff Sabo

You're most welcome, Dina - I hope that you and your family have an amazing time!



________________________________
From: Dina <dapsign@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, February 19, 2009 6:28:00 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Why attend a conference


thank you kelly for posting that and jeff for writing it. i've been on the fence about
attending the Great Big Happy Life conference in April and have finally decided to go.

dina

--- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com, Kelly Lovejoy <kbcdlovejo@ ...> wrote:
>
> The following is a post from Jeff Sabo to everyone who is contemplating attending an
unschooling conference, noncon, or gathering.
>
>
>
> It's heartwarming to know how the conferences have touched (and continue to touch)
folks from around the globe.Â
>
>
>
>
> If you're on the fence about attending one, read on.
>
>
> Â ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." ~Gandhi
>
>
>
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****
>
>
>
>
> Well, I am beginning to get amazingly excited about the first of our two unschoolingÂ
> conferences this year, Life is Good, held in Vancouver, WA on May 21-24. I absolutelyÂ
> LOVE conferences; they are ways to connect with old friends, meet new ones, relax,
andÂ
> celebrate all that is good and wonderful in our lives.
>
> Have you ever been to a conference? Are you uncertain about going? Is your husband
orÂ
> partner resistant? I know what that's like, and it can be scary as hell - but so
incrediblyÂ
> rewarding. Read on.
>
> Every time another conference approaches, it reminds me of how I felt in the monthsÂ
> leading up to my first one, Live and Learn in Albuquerque in 2006. When Ginger told
meÂ
> she wanted to go, I was pretty unsure - a conference? I mean REALLY? I've been to a ton
ofÂ
> conferences in my professional life, and they are so - - well - - boring and formal. I
> mean, Conferences are places where we all wear name badges, and sit around at
tablesÂ
> forcing
> conversation with people we don't know. Conferences are where we pick up 37Â
> pounds of printed flyers and brochures that we'll never read again. They're places
whereÂ
> we fight to stay awake all day so we can earn the right to go back to our rooms and
watchÂ
> TV. I mean, unschooling sounded okay - - I was even kinda enjoying it. Why the hell did
IÂ
> need to fly across the country to bore myself?
>
> As the conference got closer, my concerns took a new turn. No longer was I worried
aboutÂ
> being bored; I was worried about being overwhelmed and unaccepted. What if
everyoneÂ
> there already knew each other? What if I wasn't cool enough, or funny enough, or
smartÂ
> enough, or - - God forbid - - unschooly enough? I had serious visions that someoneÂ
> would approach Ginger a few days into the conference, point at me, and say "He
doesn'tÂ
> belong here - - I think you should reconsider this unschooling thing."
>
> When we were flying there, I began to feel better, but still had one nagging concern; all
ofÂ
> these Dads were probably so cool, and they probably had neat non-traditional careers
thatÂ
> allowed them to stay home and be with their kids all of the time, and how could I
possiblyÂ
> compete with that? Did I even deserve to be here? What the hell would I do when I got
toÂ
> the hotel and the whole thing started?
>
> And then we got there, and the rest of my life began. The entire weekend was a dream:
IÂ
> learned, I laughed, I cried, I=2
> 0relaxed, I played, I created, I asked, I answered, I dug deep, IÂ
> slept, I stayed up all night, I followed my kids around everywhere they wanted me to
andÂ
> left them alone when they wanted that, I was challenged, I challenged, I made
amazingÂ
> friends from 6 months old to 70, and I came to one essential understanding of my life:Â
> happiness is king and rules all. My happiness, Ginger's Kai's, Kade's, and everyone elseÂ
> that we had a chance to interact with.
>
> So here's what I did at my first conference, and why I think you should go:
>
> I went to main presentations: the ones from Ren Allen and Ben Lovejoy stood out,Â
> primarily because they made me think about the love I have for my children and howÂ
> much it can still deepen.
>
> I went to circle chats and smaller meetings. My first circle chat was with Barbara
Chase,Â
> and while way too many brain cells have left the building to remember the exact topic, I
doÂ
> recall feeling energized and excited by one critical thing: not everyone there was anÂ
> "expert" or "radical", and they were all learning and growing, just like me - even the
folksÂ
> who have been doing it for years.
>
> I went to SSUDS meetings. The Secret Society of Unschooling Dads is really just a coolÂ
> acronym; there's nothing secret about it. My first SSUDS meeting was just dads andÂ
> grandads and such, with lots of no-holds barred Q&A about being a Dad and
unschooling.Â
> I asked tons of questions, and was challenged all alo
> ng the way. It was rough for me,Â
> because many of the answers I got were strange and new - but the people who
answeredÂ
> me did it from the heart, with no other goal than to make me a better unschooling
dad.Â
> And then after the meeting and all through the weekend, they each sought me out to
talkÂ
> one-on-one.
>
> I ran a fun shop. What a great way to meet people! Fun shops are just that; fun, fun,
fun.Â
> We decided to make tissue paper kites ,and brought tissue paper, string, decorations,Â
> markers, glue sticks, etc. Kids and their parents just flowed in for the whole hour, and
weÂ
> found ourselves scrambling just to catch up and keep them all supplied! But we met
soÂ
> many cool people and cool kids, and that helped us make connections that led to
deeperÂ
> conversations over that weekend - and over the years since.
>
> I participated in the raffle and instant gratification table. I got a chance to buy raffle
ticketsÂ
> and bid on all sorts of exciting gift baskets and other cool stuff. The kids got toÂ
> participate, too. Another fantastic way to meet people and experience new things.
>
> I actually got on stage during the talent show. A bunch of the younger set got on
stageÂ
> and sang "Another Brick in the Wall", and I just couldn't resist! Subsequent years have
seenÂ
> me up dancing to "The Time Warp" and "Thriller", among other silly stuff.
>
> I walked to a coffee shop every day; just to escape for a little while and get some "me"Â
> time.
>
>
> I watched Cartoon Network for the first time. Before the conference, we didn't have
cableÂ
> at all; never had! But since that very first episode of "Courage the Cowardly Dog" I
realizedÂ
> that TV is not an instrument of the Devil; it is another wonderful way to connect with
myÂ
> kids.
>
> I let go. I let go of almost everything: bed times, TV control, the need to be right, the
needÂ
> to be on-time, the need to know where my kids were and with whom, the need to be
inÂ
> control - and most of all, my preconceived notions that had defined unschooling in aÂ
> rigid, formulaic fashion.
>
> And most importantly, I learned. Without even trying, or wanting to, or planning to, orÂ
> even knowing it was happening. While I learned things about unschooling, to be sure,
IÂ
> mostly learned about myself, my life, my family, my goals, my fears, and my passions.
>
> A conference can be all of this, and more. All it takes for you to have a similar,
wonderful,Â
> life-changing experience is to come and let it happen. Look for the people who lookÂ
> peaceful and are smiling; they're the ones who know and are there to help you make
theÂ
> same journey.
>
>
>
>
>
> ~Jeff Sabo
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Lovejoy

Cool! Have a Great, Big Happy time!



I won't be there, but I believe my son, Cameron, is planning to go.


 ~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." ~Gandhi


-----Original Message-----
From: Dina <dapsign@...>







thank you kelly for posting that and jeff for writing it. i've been on the
fence about
attending the Great Big Happy Life conference in April and have finally decided
to go.











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

cindybablitz

Cool! Thanks for sharing Kelly! SSUDS! Love that idea!

Cindy

Host of Alphabet Soup: 2009 Calgary Unschooling Conference
http://www.alphabetsoupconference.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlphabetSoupConference/


--- In [email protected], Kelly Lovejoy
<kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
>
> The following is a post from Jeff Sabo to everyone who is
contemplating attending an unschooling conference, noncon, or
gathering.

> I went to SSUDS meetings. The Secret Society of Unschooling Dads is
really just a cool 
> acronym; there's nothing secret about it. My first SSUDS meeting
was just dads and 
> grandads and such, with lots of no-holds barred Q&A about being a
Dad and unschooling. 
> I asked tons of questions, and was challenged all alo
> ng the way. It was rough for me, 
> because many of the answers I got were strange and new - but the
people who answered 
> me did it from the heart, with no other goal than to make me a
better unschooling dad. 
> And then after the meeting and all through the weekend, they each
sought me out to talk 
> one-on-one.