Krisula Moyer

I don't have a sling, I have one of those Snugli things, kinda like a baby
back pack, that you wear on your chest. I use it now when we go out, I
wasn't sure if it would be warm enough later in the year, once it gets alot
colder.

I really feel so ill prepared, having a baby in a state were there are
noticable seasons, I didn't know that you needed to have so much stuff.


The snugli will work if Garett has a good warm hat but a sling is really
better especially if you have a nice big coat you can put on over the both
of you. And a scarf for you to cover the exposed spots when you open the
coat to check the baby or give him more room etc. Also you can nurse (with
some practice without undoing your coat!)
Love,
Krisula -who is happy to live in sunny SoCal now but has nursed her babies
in NY, NJ, DE, PA,VT and UT in all kinds of snow!

[email protected]

Hi! I'm Tracee and pretty new to whole life unschooling. I've dipped my
toes in a few times over the years, been confused about exactly how to do
things, and finally got led into it by my 9 year old, who simply refused to allow
himself or his life to be controlled by the traditional hierarchy and and
authoritarian style that his father and I have been trying to impose upon him.
In addition to Philip, we have Tyler (6-3/4) and Evan (4-1/3). I am now deep
breathing through my days, repeating my new mantra and motto of Trust and
Respect. It is kind of difficult right now, as we are deep into de-schooling
and my 9 year old is truly testing us. Things he would normally gladly jump
into help with, he is refusing, just to make sure I mean it when I say he
doesn't have to. He's not eating what I would consider healthily, even when the
healthy food is presented. I'm working on it, I'm working on it. LOL. He's
not getting enough sleep, though he is very quickly figuring out that he
likes himself and his life better when he does have enough sleep. Ironically,
due to how determined and independent my 6 year old has been since birth,
we've pretty much always unschooled him. LOL. Now that I don't resent him for
his determination and independence, things are going incredibly smoothly with
him. That is a breath of fresh air! And, I think because Evan is my 3rd
and last child, he also has been accidentally unschooled the whole of his life.
I've just been so focused on the other ones, that he simply got to figure
out things on his own, and has learned exactly what he wants his role in the
family to be and pretty much is just the easiest person in the world to hang
out with. De-schooling is a tough transition period for me and most
especially for my husband, Ed, who is not quite on board. I believe he sees the
positive changes that have occurred. At the same time, certain conditions are
very ingrained in him, from his childhood I think. I'm taking that issue over
to the Peaceful Partnership yahoo group, just wanted to give you a good intro
and peek into our start into unschooling. Thanks for having this group set
up. I expect I'll be turning here quite a bit for help and advice along the
way!


Namaste`
Tracee
Truly Wonderful, The Mind of a Child Is--Jedi Master Yoda
_http://www.tracees.blogspot.com_ (http://www.tracees.blogspot.com/)








**************New MapQuest Local shows what's happening at your destination.
Dining, Movies, Events, News & more. Try it out!
(http://local.mapquest.com/?ncid=emlcntnew00000001)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

Hey Tracee!!!! Good to see you here.

If you turn here often and press forward, you'll get a lot out of this
list.

---It is kind of difficult right now, as we are deep into de-schooling and
my 9 year old is truly testing us.---

You can dive more deeply into unschooling by realizing that your son is just
trying to be happy not trying to test you. Children don't have as much of
the loaded baggage-y expectations that parents struggle with, but the older
the kid becomes the less true that will be. I've been talking a lot about
our struggles... about learning peace instead of struggling so hard.

The way I put it lately is that unschooling is amazing and challenging. The
kids are the amazing part and the parents are the challenging part. At the
very least, thinking that way will take the children out of the number of
people who are conflicting the process of learning to unschool with multiple
challenges to the new more organic "system" of simply living and learning.

Yep, it's the baggage.

~Katherine




On 10/5/08, HoneyBeeECPlus3@... <HoneyBeeECPlus3@...> wrote:
>
>
> Hi! I'm Tracee and pretty new to whole life unschooling. I've dipped my
> toes in a few times over the years, been confused about exactly how to do
> things, and finally got led into it by my 9 year old, who simply refused to
> allow
> himself or his life to be controlled by the traditional hierarchy and and
> authoritarian style that his father and I have been trying to impose upon
> him.
> In addition to Philip, we have Tyler (6-3/4) and Evan (4-1/3). I am now
> deep
> breathing through my days, repeating my new mantra and motto of Trust and
> Respect. It is kind of difficult right now, as we are deep into
> de-schooling
> and my 9 year old is truly testing us. Things he would normally gladly jump
>
> into help with, he is refusing, just to make sure I mean it when I say he
> doesn't have to. He's not eating what I would consider healthily, even when
> the
> healthy food is presented. I'm working on it, I'm working on it. LOL. He's
> not getting enough sleep, though he is very quickly figuring out that he
> likes himself and his life better when he does have enough sleep.
> Ironically,
> due to how determined and independent my 6 year old has been since birth,
> we've pretty much always unschooled him. LOL. Now that I don't resent him
> for
> his determination and independence, things are going incredibly smoothly
> with
> him. That is a breath of fresh air! And, I think because Evan is my 3rd
> and last child, he also has been accidentally unschooled the whole of his
> life.
> I've just been so focused on the other ones, that he simply got to figure
> out things on his own, and has learned exactly what he wants his role in
> the
> family to be and pretty much is just the easiest person in the world to
> hang
> out with. De-schooling is a tough transition period for me and most
> especially for my husband, Ed, who is not quite on board. I believe he sees
> the
> positive changes that have occurred. At the same time, certain conditions
> are
> very ingrained in him, from his childhood I think. I'm taking that issue
> over
> to the Peaceful Partnership yahoo group, just wanted to give you a good
> intro
> and peek into our start into unschooling. Thanks for having this group set
> up. I expect I'll be turning here quite a bit for help and advice along the
>
> way!
>
> Namaste`
> Tracee
> Truly Wonderful, The Mind of a Child Is--Jedi Master Yoda
> _http://www.tracees.blogspot.com_ (http://www.tracees.blogspot.com/)
>
> **************New MapQuest Local shows what's happening at your
> destination.
> Dining, Movies, Events, News & more. Try it out!
> (http://local.mapquest.com/?ncid=emlcntnew00000001)
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], HoneyBeeECPlus3@... wrote:
>> It is kind of difficult right now, as we are deep into de-
schooling
> and my 9 year old is truly testing us. Things he would normally
gladly jump
> into help with, he is refusing, just to make sure I mean it when
I say he
> doesn't have to.

Something we found, deschooling with Ray, was that we all had to
break old patterns and re-invent our family and household. Doing
household tasks, for example - when he didn't really have a choice,
he made the best of things and "gladly" pitched in to help. Once he
realized he really really could say no and that was okay, he had to
take some time to find his own motivation to do the same things. But
we had to *really* be okay with him not doing *any* housework for
awhile to the point of not even asking him to help.

It helped me and George to focus on the fact that what *we* really
wanted was a home where generosity and kindness were the norm. You
can't demand that someone be kind or generous - those have to come
from within. So in order for Ray to feel generous, we had to heap
generosity upon him. In order for him to be spontaneously kind, we
had to envelop him in kindness.

In some ways it worked very quickly! But housework took awhile.
About a year and a half (he left school at 13).

>He's not eating what I would consider healthily, even when the
> healthy food is presented.

Eventually he will choose to eat healthier foods, but right now he
needs to do a little experimenting - that's how people learn what
kinds of foods make them feel good.

What do you mean by "presented"? Are you making monkey-platters and
he's just eating the chips and cookies and leaving the pbj and
carrots? Refill the chips and cookies with a pleasant smile and know
that eventually he'll choose other foods, too.

> He's
> not getting enough sleep, though he is very quickly figuring out
that he
> likes himself and his life better when he does have enough sleep.

He'll do the same with food in time. Use what you see changing
already to bolster your confidence. Radical unschooling works
because kids *like* to feel good, physically and emotionally. Eating
well helps that, and in time he'll feel that.

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

k

>>>>envelop him in kindness<<<<

Meredith, this is great!

I read this as "develop" in him kindness, which is kind of an old-fashioned
way to put it, so I went back and re-read and saw envelop. I had a
mini-epiphany over that.

Go from thinking of ways to get our children to DEVELOP certain ways in
themselves to ENVELOP(e) them in those things. All those great lifelong
traits we enjoy getting from others, like kindness and helpfulness.

My grandmother did this for me, and had my parents known to do it I feel
sure I would have developed the traits they wanted to enjoy from me a lot
sooner! Instead they missed out and still sometimes think I haven't
developed the traits they want to see, stuck in their minds with the same
old picture of me they had when I was in their home, a perspective that is
their own that the kid couldn't change probably no matter what. That's a
missed-out-on relationship.

I'm getting to enjoy Karl. Lucky lucky me to have the info that I should
envelope him with love, kindness, helpfulness and so on instead of getting
him to develop.

~Katherine


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

thanks meredith.? and yes about the monkey platters and him choosing only the cookies, etc.? LOL grapes, cheese, etc. are always left on the platter.? it is tough, but i am happily refilling.? Philip and Tyler asked for popscicles this morning and I said yes.? They haven't quite gotten over asking for things yet...I've told them it's a completely open kitchen now, but theyr'e not sure.? katherine, that's what i meant about "testing."? They are not being testy, they are just checking in with me, making sure I mean it when I say they can have things that were normally off limits.? To me, I feel like they are double checking they can trust me, that's why I called it testing.?













-----Original Message-----

From: Meredith <meredith@...>

To: [email protected]

Sent: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 6:52 pm

Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: New Unschooler








--- In [email protected], HoneyBeeECPlus3@... wrote:

>> It is kind of difficult right now, as we are deep into de-

schooling

> and my 9 year old is truly testing us. Things he would normally

gladly jump

> into help with, he is refusing, just to make sure I mean it when

I say he

> doesn't have to.



Something we found, deschooling with Ray, was that we all had to

break old patterns and re-invent our family and household. Doing

household tasks, for example - when he didn't really have a choice,

he made the best of things and "gladly" pitched in to help. Once he

realized he really really could say no and that was okay, he had to

take some time to find his own motivation to do the same things. But

we had to *really* be okay with him not doing *any* housework for

awhile to the point of not even asking him to help.



It helped me and George to focus on the fact that what *we* really

wanted was a home where generosity and kindness were the norm. You

can't demand that someone be kind or generous - those have to come

from within. So in order for Ray to feel generous, we had to heap

generosity upon him. In order for him to be spontaneously kind, we

had to envelop him in kindness.



In some ways it worked very quickly! But housework took awhile.

About a year and a half (he left school at 13).



>He's not eating what I would consider healthily, even when the

> healthy food is presented.



Eventually he will choose to eat healthier foods, but right now he

needs to do a little experimenting - that's how people learn what

kinds of foods make them feel good.



What do you mean by "presented"? Are you making monkey-platters and

he's just eating the chips and cookies and leaving the pbj and

carrots? Refill the chips and cookies with a pleasant smile and know

that eventually he'll choose other foods, too.



> He's

> not getting enough sleep, though he is very quickly figuring out

that he

> likes himself and his life better when he does have enough sleep.



He'll do the same with food in time. Use what you see changing

already to bolster your confidence. Radical unschooling works

because kids *like* to feel good, physically and emotionally. Eating

well helps that, and in time he'll feel that.



---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)










[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

Yes, Traci, I think children do want to make sure they can trust you before
getting down to brass tacks and figuring out what they want in the way of
food. They really do want to be healthy and to feel good, so having lots of
room and enough info to figure that out is what makes that possible.
However there's no point in making any decisions if the process is
constantly getting interrupted and preempted, if someone wants to take it
back over. Why bother? So back off for a weeks and months, and you will
see a difference, and then you won't see a need to interfere.

~Katherine



On 10/8/08, HoneyBeeECPlus3@... <HoneyBeeECPlus3@...> wrote:
>
> thanks meredith.? and yes about the monkey platters and him choosing
> only the cookies, etc.? LOL grapes, cheese, etc. are always left on the
> platter.? it is tough, but i am happily refilling.? Philip and Tyler asked
> for popscicles this morning and I said yes.? They haven't quite gotten over
> asking for things yet...I've told them it's a completely open kitchen now,
> but theyr'e not sure.? katherine, that's what i meant about "testing."? They
> are not being testy, they are just checking in with me, making sure I mean
> it when I say they can have things that were normally off limits.? To me, I
> feel like they are double checking they can trust me, that's why I called it
> testing.?
>
> -----Original Message-----
>
> From: Meredith <meredith@... <meredith%40quilted.net>>
>
> To: [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
>
> Sent: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 6:52 pm
>
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: New Unschooler
>
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> HoneyBeeECPlus3@... wrote:
>
> >> It is kind of difficult right now, as we are deep into de-
>
> schooling
>
> > and my 9 year old is truly testing us. Things he would normally
>
> gladly jump
>
> > into help with, he is refusing, just to make sure I mean it when
>
> I say he
>
> > doesn't have to.
>
> Something we found, deschooling with Ray, was that we all had to
>
> break old patterns and re-invent our family and household. Doing
>
> household tasks, for example - when he didn't really have a choice,
>
> he made the best of things and "gladly" pitched in to help. Once he
>
> realized he really really could say no and that was okay, he had to
>
> take some time to find his own motivation to do the same things. But
>
> we had to *really* be okay with him not doing *any* housework for
>
> awhile to the point of not even asking him to help.
>
> It helped me and George to focus on the fact that what *we* really
>
> wanted was a home where generosity and kindness were the norm. You
>
> can't demand that someone be kind or generous - those have to come
>
> from within. So in order for Ray to feel generous, we had to heap
>
> generosity upon him. In order for him to be spontaneously kind, we
>
> had to envelop him in kindness.
>
> In some ways it worked very quickly! But housework took awhile.
>
> About a year and a half (he left school at 13).
>
> >He's not eating what I would consider healthily, even when the
>
> > healthy food is presented.
>
> Eventually he will choose to eat healthier foods, but right now he
>
> needs to do a little experimenting - that's how people learn what
>
> kinds of foods make them feel good.
>
> What do you mean by "presented"? Are you making monkey-platters and
>
> he's just eating the chips and cookies and leaving the pbj and
>
> carrots? Refill the chips and cookies with a pleasant smile and know
>
> that eventually he'll choose other foods, too.
>
> > He's
>
> > not getting enough sleep, though he is very quickly figuring out
>
> that he
>
> > likes himself and his life better when he does have enough sleep.
>
> He'll do the same with food in time. Use what you see changing
>
> already to bolster your confidence. Radical unschooling works
>
> because kids *like* to feel good, physically and emotionally. Eating
>
> well helps that, and in time he'll feel that.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

i have backed off already dude.? that's why i'm here.? i'm not interfering with their choices.? just coming here to vent about how hard it is to "let" them make those choices, that i would normally do my best to control.? LOL.? i'm all the way in it, to my neck baby.? when i do mess up and try to control their choices, i'm immediately hitting rewind.? you should see how much we end up laughing around here these days...i will easily slip back into my old ways of "no you can't have that for breakfast," or "no you can't watch that t.v. show" and before the words are even all the way out of my mouth i'm handing them the requested food item or shaking my head, smiling,? and telling them of course they can watch that show.? no process is being interrupted or preempted here...i think the thing is that it's been interrupted and preempted in the past.? this is not our first delve into whole life unschooling.?? i didn't mean it before though, and we've lived through that and it's why there is not trust there from them to me.? i think it will take months for philip to fully deschool.? the little kids are there already though.? the hardest part for me with them is i just want to go to sleep!? they have endless energy and have been staying up later every night and sleeping in later every day....they are just 6 and 4 and have been known to poke holes in walls with corn cob holders when i'm sleeping....so i don't feel comfortable going to sleep.? any advice on that??













-----Original Message-----

From: k <katherand@...>

To: [email protected]

Sent: Wed, 8 Oct 2008 10:36 pm

Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: New Unschooler








Yes, Traci, I think children do want to make sure they can trust you before

getting down to brass tacks and figuring out what they want in the way of

food. They really do want to be healthy and to feel good, so having lots of

room and enough info to figure that out is what makes that possible.

However there's no point in making any decisions if the process is

constantly getting interrupted and preempted, if someone wants to take it

back over. Why bother? So back off for a weeks and months, and you will

see a difference, and then you won't see a need to interfere.



~Katherine



On 10/8/08, HoneyBeeECPlus3@... <HoneyBeeECPlus3@...> wrote:

>

> thanks meredith.? and yes about the monkey platters and him choosing

> only the cookies, etc.? LOL grapes, cheese, etc. are always left on the

> platter.? it is tough, but i am happily refilling.? Philip and Tyler asked

> for popscicles this morning and I said yes.? They haven't quite gotten over

> asking for things yet...I've told them it's a completely open kitchen now,

> but theyr'e not sure.? katherine, that's what i meant about "testing."? They

> are not being testy, they are just checking in with me, making sure I mean

> it when I say they can have things that were normally off limits.? To me, I

> feel like they are double checking they can trust me, that's why I called it

> testing.?

>

> -----Original Message-----

>

> From: Meredith <meredith@... <meredith%40quilted.net>>

>

> To: [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>

>

> Sent: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 6:52 pm

>

> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: New Unschooler

>

> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,

> HoneyBeeECPlus3@... wrote:

>

> >> It is kind of difficult right now, as we are deep into de-

>

> schooling

>

> > and my 9 year old is truly testing us. Things he would normally

>

> gladly jump

>

> > into help with, he is refusing, just to make sure I mean it when

>

> I say he

>

> > doesn't have to.

>

> Something we found, deschooling with Ray, was that we all had to

>

> break old patterns and re-invent our family and household. Doing

>

> household tasks, for example - when he didn't really have a choice,

>

> he made the best of things and "gladly" pitched in to help. Once he

>

> realized he really really could say no and that was okay, he had to

>

> take some time to find his own motivation to do the same things. But

>

> we had to *really* be okay with him not doing *any* housework for

>

> awhile to the point of not even asking him to help.

>

> It helped me and George to focus on the fact that what *we* really

>

> wanted was a home where generosity and kindness were the norm. You

>

> can't demand that someone be kind or generous - those have to come

>

> from within. So in order for Ray to feel generous, we had to heap

>

> generosity upon him. In order for him to be spontaneously kind, we

>

> had to envelop him in kindness.

>

> In some ways it worked very quickly! But housework took awhile.

>

> About a year and a half (he left school at 13).

>

> >He's not eating what I would consider healthily, even when the

>

> > healthy food is presented.

>

> Eventually he will choose to eat healthier foods, but right now he

>

> needs to do a little experimenting - that's how people learn what

>

> kinds of foods make them feel good.

>

> What do you mean by "presented"? Are you making monkey-platters and

>

> he's just eating the chips and cookies and leaving the pbj and

>

> carrots? Refill the chips and cookies with a pleasant smile and know

>

> that eventually he'll choose other foods, too.

>

> > He's

>

> > not getting enough sleep, though he is very quickly figuring out

>

> that he

>

> > likes himself and his life better when he does have enough sleep.

>

> He'll do the same with food in time. Use what you see changing

>

> already to bolster your confidence. Radical unschooling works

>

> because kids *like* to feel good, physically and emotionally. Eating

>

> well helps that, and in time he'll feel that.

>

> ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

>

>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]










[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Oct 8, 2008, at 2:09 PM, HoneyBeeECPlus3@... wrote:

> They haven't quite gotten over asking for things yet...I've told
> them it's a completely open kitchen now, but theyr'e not sure.

Part might be being unsure, but we always had freedom of food and Kat
often asked. So it could also be politeness or "Do you see a problem
with this?" as in "Are we about to eat?" or "Is there something
better I don't know about?"

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Faith Void

> > They haven't quite gotten over asking for things yet...I've told
> > them it's a completely open kitchen now, but theyr'e not sure.
>
> Part might be being unsure, but we always had freedom of food and Kat
> often asked. So it could also be politeness or "Do you see a problem
> with this?" as in "Are we about to eat?" or "Is there something
> better I don't know about?"
>
> Joyce
>
> My kids ask sometimes too. It is to get information from me. When we were
> transitioning (like you are) I thought that something was "wrong". At some
> point I thought to ask my dd (then 7) why she felt she needed to ask for
> food. She simply said she just wanted to know how close to dinner it was.
> She would prefer a meal but would make do with a snack if it were far away.
> So maybe you could ask your kids. Mine will aslo ask if a certain food is
> meant for something. Like if there are 2 eggs left, they will ask if I need
> them to make a cake or something before they use them up. Since we get them
> from our chickens they are harder to replace.
>








faith
--
http://faithvoid.blogspot.com/
www.bearthmama.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

good point joyce.?













-----Original Message-----

From: Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>

To: [email protected]

Sent: Thu, 9 Oct 2008 5:27 am

Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: New Unschooler










On Oct 8, 2008, at 2:09 PM, HoneyBeeECPlus3@... wrote:



> They haven't quite gotten over asking for things yet...I've told

> them it's a completely open kitchen now, but theyr'e not sure.



Part might be being unsure, but we always had freedom of food and Kat

often asked. So it could also be politeness or "Do you see a problem

with this?" as in "Are we about to eat?" or "Is there something

better I don't know about?"



Joyce



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]










[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

:) Maybe find something they *can* poke holes through and not destroy
something semi-permanent like the walls of your home in the process. Talk
to them and ask if them if they would like something like styrofoam to play
with and poke holes in. It makes a big mess but it's not destructive, just
messy.

I'm sure other responses and those in the forum archives have suggestions
that might work better or be more along the lines of what your kids are
trying to do in the first place.

Find out what they were thinking about if you can. And see if it's a
process they're still in.

Is it that they just are watching TV or movies at night? Playing games on
the computer or gameboy or whatever? Maybe they need more or different
things to do.

~Katherine




On 10/8/08, HoneyBeeECPlus3@... <HoneyBeeECPlus3@...> wrote:
>
> i have backed off already dude.? that's why i'm here.? i'm not
> interfering with their choices.? just coming here to vent about how hard it
> is to "let" them make those choices, that i would normally do my best to
> control.? LOL.? i'm all the way in it, to my neck baby.? when i do mess up
> and try to control their choices, i'm immediately hitting rewind.? you
> should see how much we end up laughing around here these days...i will
> easily slip back into my old ways of "no you can't have that for breakfast,"
> or "no you can't watch that t.v. show" and before the words are even all the
> way out of my mouth i'm handing them the requested food item or shaking my
> head, smiling,? and telling them of course they can watch that show.? no
> process is being interrupted or preempted here...i think the thing is that
> it's been interrupted and preempted in the past.? this is not our first
> delve into whole life unschooling.?? i didn't mean it before though, and
> we've lived through that and it's why there is not trust there from them to
> me.? i think it will take months for philip to fully deschool.? the little
> kids are there already though.? the hardest part for me with them is i just
> want to go to sleep!? they have endless energy and have been staying up
> later every night and sleeping in later every day....they are just 6 and 4
> and have been known to poke holes in walls with corn cob holders when i'm
> sleeping....so i don't feel comfortable going to sleep.? any advice on
> that??
>
> -----Original Message-----
>
> From: k <katherand@... <katherand%40gmail.com>>
>
> To: [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
>
> Sent: Wed, 8 Oct 2008 10:36 pm
>
> Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: New Unschooler
>
> Yes, Traci, I think children do want to make sure they can trust you before
>
> getting down to brass tacks and figuring out what they want in the way of
>
> food. They really do want to be healthy and to feel good, so having lots of
>
> room and enough info to figure that out is what makes that possible.
>
> However there's no point in making any decisions if the process is
>
> constantly getting interrupted and preempted, if someone wants to take it
>
> back over. Why bother? So back off for a weeks and months, and you will
>
> see a difference, and then you won't see a need to interfere.
>
> ~Katherine
>
> On 10/8/08, HoneyBeeECPlus3@... <HoneyBeeECPlus3%40aol.com> <
> HoneyBeeECPlus3@... <HoneyBeeECPlus3%40aol.com>> wrote:
>
> >
>
> > thanks meredith.? and yes about the monkey platters and him choosing
>
> > only the cookies, etc.? LOL grapes, cheese, etc. are always left on
> the
>
> > platter.? it is tough, but i am happily refilling.? Philip and Tyler
> asked
>
> > for popscicles this morning and I said yes.? They haven't quite gotten
> over
>
> > asking for things yet...I've told them it's a completely open kitchen
> now,
>
> > but theyr'e not sure.? katherine, that's what i meant about
> "testing."? They
>
> > are not being testy, they are just checking in with me, making sure I
> mean
>
> > it when I say they can have things that were normally off limits.? To
> me, I
>
> > feel like they are double checking they can trust me, that's why I
> called it
>
> > testing.?
>
> >
>
> > -----Original Message-----
>
> >
>
> > From: Meredith <meredith@... <meredith%40quilted.net><meredith%
> 40quilted.net>>
>
> >
>
> > To: [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
> <unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
>
> >
>
> > Sent: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 6:52 pm
>
> >
>
> > Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: New Unschooler
>
> >
>
> > --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
> <unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
>
> > HoneyBeeECPlus3@... wrote:
>
> >
>
> > >> It is kind of difficult right now, as we are deep into de-
>
> >
>
> > schooling
>
> >
>
> > > and my 9 year old is truly testing us. Things he would normally
>
> >
>
> > gladly jump
>
> >
>
> > > into help with, he is refusing, just to make sure I mean it when
>
> >
>
> > I say he
>
> >
>
> > > doesn't have to.
>
> >
>
> > Something we found, deschooling with Ray, was that we all had to
>
> >
>
> > break old patterns and re-invent our family and household. Doing
>
> >
>
> > household tasks, for example - when he didn't really have a choice,
>
> >
>
> > he made the best of things and "gladly" pitched in to help. Once he
>
> >
>
> > realized he really really could say no and that was okay, he had to
>
> >
>
> > take some time to find his own motivation to do the same things. But
>
> >
>
> > we had to *really* be okay with him not doing *any* housework for
>
> >
>
> > awhile to the point of not even asking him to help.
>
> >
>
> > It helped me and George to focus on the fact that what *we* really
>
> >
>
> > wanted was a home where generosity and kindness were the norm. You
>
> >
>
> > can't demand that someone be kind or generous - those have to come
>
> >
>
> > from within. So in order for Ray to feel generous, we had to heap
>
> >
>
> > generosity upon him. In order for him to be spontaneously kind, we
>
> >
>
> > had to envelop him in kindness.
>
> >
>
> > In some ways it worked very quickly! But housework took awhile.
>
> >
>
> > About a year and a half (he left school at 13).
>
> >
>
> > >He's not eating what I would consider healthily, even when the
>
> >
>
> > > healthy food is presented.
>
> >
>
> > Eventually he will choose to eat healthier foods, but right now he
>
> >
>
> > needs to do a little experimenting - that's how people learn what
>
> >
>
> > kinds of foods make them feel good.
>
> >
>
> > What do you mean by "presented"? Are you making monkey-platters and
>
> >
>
> > he's just eating the chips and cookies and leaving the pbj and
>
> >
>
> > carrots? Refill the chips and cookies with a pleasant smile and know
>
> >
>
> > that eventually he'll choose other foods, too.
>
> >
>
> > > He's
>
> >
>
> > > not getting enough sleep, though he is very quickly figuring out
>
> >
>
> > that he
>
> >
>
> > > likes himself and his life better when he does have enough sleep.
>
> >
>
> > He'll do the same with food in time. Use what you see changing
>
> >
>
> > already to bolster your confidence. Radical unschooling works
>
> >
>
> > because kids *like* to feel good, physically and emotionally. Eating
>
> >
>
> > well helps that, and in time he'll feel that.
>
> >
>
> > ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>
> >
>
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


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