Very Reluctant husband
aljonesz
My DD is 4 and we live in the UK. I have convinced my DH to leave
her out of nursery/preschool (prompted in part by medical problem we
are resolving). He has said that I can "try" unschooling until
autumn when she is due to start regular school. He has loads of
protests but his biggest one is that he doesn't think I can do it.
That I will get too impatient, too frazzled, too tired. To be fair
to him I have been all of those things at various times since DD1 was
born and DD2 came along 18 months ago. BUt I am working on it. I am
really trying to practice AP and unschooling seems a natural
extension of that. I have a long way to go to be all AP but I work
on it on a daily basis. So anyway this has really shaken my
confidence in being able to unschool. I feel pressure to produce
some result by September that will validate my position.
On the other hand since I thought he would dismiss it completely I
feel getting the agreement for the next 7 months a huge milestone. I
intend to use it to educate him on why and how I want to do this and
build my own confidence. So any support, encouragement around this
would be much appreciated. I am in contact with my local
homeschooling community and plan to throw myself and the 2 girls into
all they offer with enthusiasm.
Thanks,
AJ
her out of nursery/preschool (prompted in part by medical problem we
are resolving). He has said that I can "try" unschooling until
autumn when she is due to start regular school. He has loads of
protests but his biggest one is that he doesn't think I can do it.
That I will get too impatient, too frazzled, too tired. To be fair
to him I have been all of those things at various times since DD1 was
born and DD2 came along 18 months ago. BUt I am working on it. I am
really trying to practice AP and unschooling seems a natural
extension of that. I have a long way to go to be all AP but I work
on it on a daily basis. So anyway this has really shaken my
confidence in being able to unschool. I feel pressure to produce
some result by September that will validate my position.
On the other hand since I thought he would dismiss it completely I
feel getting the agreement for the next 7 months a huge milestone. I
intend to use it to educate him on why and how I want to do this and
build my own confidence. So any support, encouragement around this
would be much appreciated. I am in contact with my local
homeschooling community and plan to throw myself and the 2 girls into
all they offer with enthusiasm.
Thanks,
AJ
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jan 28, 2009, at 2:50 PM, aljonesz wrote:
worries rather than guessing at what might convince him. Talk to him
about what his concerns are. Write them down. Don't dismiss them.
They're valid concerns from his understanding.
Ask him what would help ease his mind over the next 7 months. What
would help him feel better about it. Revisit this question
periodically to see how he's feeling and if he needs something else.
One thing that might help is keeping a blog. Write down what happens
during the day. Don't try to sell him. (That will come through in the
writing!) Find the things *you* think are cool. (That honesty will
come through in the writing.)
Another thing might be to prepare for his arrival at home with cool
things she did that day. Jot down notes throughout the day so you're
prepared. If you can, set her up with something cool to do --
particularly if it's something he can do with her. (Don't force it,
of course. Her delight will be a better seller than performing ;-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I feel pressure to produceI think you'd help you both by finding out what would easy his
> some result by September that will validate my position.
worries rather than guessing at what might convince him. Talk to him
about what his concerns are. Write them down. Don't dismiss them.
They're valid concerns from his understanding.
Ask him what would help ease his mind over the next 7 months. What
would help him feel better about it. Revisit this question
periodically to see how he's feeling and if he needs something else.
One thing that might help is keeping a blog. Write down what happens
during the day. Don't try to sell him. (That will come through in the
writing!) Find the things *you* think are cool. (That honesty will
come through in the writing.)
Another thing might be to prepare for his arrival at home with cool
things she did that day. Jot down notes throughout the day so you're
prepared. If you can, set her up with something cool to do --
particularly if it's something he can do with her. (Don't force it,
of course. Her delight will be a better seller than performing ;-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kristin
I think that both you and your husband will be surprised how well
things go.
My daughter went to public Kindergarten and she hated it. She was
bored ("I know HOW to color! Why can't I do anything except
color??!!") but I was really unsure about homeschooling or unschooling
so we were going to keep her in until my middle child's "issues"
started. He was not due to start Kindergarten for over a year and was
already reading a ton and loved doing math and so on. I started to
really worry, given my daughter's disgust with the curriculum in
Kindergarten that he was going to be bored and then that he would be
labeled a problem child.
We tried getting him in to public school early thinking that might
help (I believe now that it would have been just as horrible but at
the time it seemed a good idea) and the Principal at my daughter's
school told me that I should not try to get him in early because,
"Lots of people are holding their kids back, especially boys, because
no one wants a geeky child.". So after that I agreed to try
homeschooling as my husband had wanted to try for quite a while. I
agreed to give it a year.
We started out more in the homeschooling camp but have gradually slid
into unschooling as working better for us. I have been stunned how
well things have worked. The kids are interested in everything and
routinely wow me with projects that they come up with all on their own.
I think the only difficulty you might have in showing your husband the
wonder of unschooling would be that he doesn't have anything to
compare it to. Not knowing where the kids would be if in school might
make it less obvious how great they will do at home. Don't lose hope
though. It's not nearly as hard as you are worried it might be. I
know I worried the same things but have found that a lot of
unschooling involves just seeing what they are interested in and going
from there. When you see it work, your husband will see too I bet.
Best of luck,
Kristin
--- In [email protected], "aljonesz" <a.l.jonesz@...>
wrote:
things go.
My daughter went to public Kindergarten and she hated it. She was
bored ("I know HOW to color! Why can't I do anything except
color??!!") but I was really unsure about homeschooling or unschooling
so we were going to keep her in until my middle child's "issues"
started. He was not due to start Kindergarten for over a year and was
already reading a ton and loved doing math and so on. I started to
really worry, given my daughter's disgust with the curriculum in
Kindergarten that he was going to be bored and then that he would be
labeled a problem child.
We tried getting him in to public school early thinking that might
help (I believe now that it would have been just as horrible but at
the time it seemed a good idea) and the Principal at my daughter's
school told me that I should not try to get him in early because,
"Lots of people are holding their kids back, especially boys, because
no one wants a geeky child.". So after that I agreed to try
homeschooling as my husband had wanted to try for quite a while. I
agreed to give it a year.
We started out more in the homeschooling camp but have gradually slid
into unschooling as working better for us. I have been stunned how
well things have worked. The kids are interested in everything and
routinely wow me with projects that they come up with all on their own.
I think the only difficulty you might have in showing your husband the
wonder of unschooling would be that he doesn't have anything to
compare it to. Not knowing where the kids would be if in school might
make it less obvious how great they will do at home. Don't lose hope
though. It's not nearly as hard as you are worried it might be. I
know I worried the same things but have found that a lot of
unschooling involves just seeing what they are interested in and going
from there. When you see it work, your husband will see too I bet.
Best of luck,
Kristin
--- In [email protected], "aljonesz" <a.l.jonesz@...>
wrote:
>
> My DD is 4 and we live in the UK. I have convinced my DH to leave
> her out of nursery/preschool (prompted in part by medical problem we
> are resolving). He has said that I can "try" unschooling until
> autumn when she is due to start regular school. He has loads of
> protests but his biggest one is that he doesn't think I can do it.
> That I will get too impatient, too frazzled, too tired. To be fair
> to him I have been all of those things at various times since DD1 was
> born and DD2 came along 18 months ago. BUt I am working on it. I am
> really trying to practice AP and unschooling seems a natural
> extension of that. I have a long way to go to be all AP but I work
> on it on a daily basis. So anyway this has really shaken my
> confidence in being able to unschool. I feel pressure to produce
> some result by September that will validate my position.
>
> On the other hand since I thought he would dismiss it completely I
> feel getting the agreement for the next 7 months a huge milestone. I
> intend to use it to educate him on why and how I want to do this and
> build my own confidence. So any support, encouragement around this
> would be much appreciated. I am in contact with my local
> homeschooling community and plan to throw myself and the 2 girls into
> all they offer with enthusiasm.
> Thanks,
> AJ
>