Schedule differences and tired 5 yo
Zoa Conner
My dd5 currently operates on a wake near 9:30 am and fall asleep around
10:30 pattern. The problem though is that she is very tired beginning around
7 pm and is frequently easily agitated and frustrated during her awake time.
These are not behaviors that she has exhibited daily in her life so far. My
gut feeling is that this sleep/wake pattern is not working well for her. But
she so does not want to miss out on life after she goes to sleep that she
resists strongly the idea of going to bed earlier. But after about 7pm she
doesn't want to do anything without someone providing physical assistance
(getting a water cup, putting on pajamas, going to the bathroom, playing
games, etc). Also, she is waking up late enough that our options for
activities each day are diminishing and we had to cancel plans for a field
trip that all of us were really looking forward to.
Suggestions for how to approach this with her? I've talked with her about
body signals and how people can tell they are tired. I've reminded her about
the next day's activities at dinner so we can plan when to go to bed
accordingly. I can hear the advice I would give another in my position in my
head: change evening activities, take something fun to her room, turn down
the lights, and wind down with a fun activity, make sure that I focus on
helping her settle down for the night before she gets so exhausted she can't
do it easily, and remember that sometimes its hard to get good restive sleep
with your body and mind are overtired.
But ... And here's is why I am posting... I am by nature a morning person. I
feel so much better and more patient in the morning and early parts of the
day. The parts that dd is missing because she is sleeping! By the time
dinner rolls around, I am winding down myself (as much as a workaholic can
:-) and eager to do things like get the dinner food in the fridge and do
some things that will make the next day smoother. My patience wanes when
trying to help her in the evenings these days. Tonight I have a rare
opportunity as her brother (10) will be away camping and I can plan better
to focus on her tonight. Any suggestions for what to do differently to help
her rest well tonight? I was thinking a nice long walk on our local rail
trail, and early dinner, and games (her fav activity) in her room in pjs.
Enjoy your Saturday!
Zoa
----------------
Zoa Conner, PhD
Physicist and Organic Learning Mother
zoaconner@...
*Handmade stuff @ http://earthyzee.etsy.com
*LaPlata Area Food Delivery @ http://laplata-area-food.blogspot.com
http://zzz-organic.blogspot.com
10:30 pattern. The problem though is that she is very tired beginning around
7 pm and is frequently easily agitated and frustrated during her awake time.
These are not behaviors that she has exhibited daily in her life so far. My
gut feeling is that this sleep/wake pattern is not working well for her. But
she so does not want to miss out on life after she goes to sleep that she
resists strongly the idea of going to bed earlier. But after about 7pm she
doesn't want to do anything without someone providing physical assistance
(getting a water cup, putting on pajamas, going to the bathroom, playing
games, etc). Also, she is waking up late enough that our options for
activities each day are diminishing and we had to cancel plans for a field
trip that all of us were really looking forward to.
Suggestions for how to approach this with her? I've talked with her about
body signals and how people can tell they are tired. I've reminded her about
the next day's activities at dinner so we can plan when to go to bed
accordingly. I can hear the advice I would give another in my position in my
head: change evening activities, take something fun to her room, turn down
the lights, and wind down with a fun activity, make sure that I focus on
helping her settle down for the night before she gets so exhausted she can't
do it easily, and remember that sometimes its hard to get good restive sleep
with your body and mind are overtired.
But ... And here's is why I am posting... I am by nature a morning person. I
feel so much better and more patient in the morning and early parts of the
day. The parts that dd is missing because she is sleeping! By the time
dinner rolls around, I am winding down myself (as much as a workaholic can
:-) and eager to do things like get the dinner food in the fridge and do
some things that will make the next day smoother. My patience wanes when
trying to help her in the evenings these days. Tonight I have a rare
opportunity as her brother (10) will be away camping and I can plan better
to focus on her tonight. Any suggestions for what to do differently to help
her rest well tonight? I was thinking a nice long walk on our local rail
trail, and early dinner, and games (her fav activity) in her room in pjs.
Enjoy your Saturday!
Zoa
----------------
Zoa Conner, PhD
Physicist and Organic Learning Mother
zoaconner@...
*Handmade stuff @ http://earthyzee.etsy.com
*LaPlata Area Food Delivery @ http://laplata-area-food.blogspot.com
http://zzz-organic.blogspot.com
Meredith
--- In [email protected], Zoa Conner <zoaconner@...>
wrote:
that's going to generate some resistance, no matter how kind, sweet
or sensible you are. Shift your agenda to helping things be more
pleasant for her when she's tired. Use the energy you have early in
the day (maybe before she's awake, even) to set things up for later -
easy snacks, drinks in individual containers, that sort of thing.
During the day, look for ways to help her rest when she's tired. Its
probably better at this point to look for that during the day, so she
doesn't get the idea that you're trying to get her to sleep. People
have natural ups and downs during the day - part of what's going on
with your dd right now is she's learning about what that feels like
and how to deal with it. What do adults do when they run out of steam
at 2 o'clock in the afternoon? Snacks help. Finding lower energy
things to do helps, too.
she need to put on pajamas? We don't distinguish between pjs and
street clothes in our house. Consider suggesting she change clothes
when she gets up in the morning, instead. Or right before dinner.
Sometime when you have the energy to help her.
do things in the morning while other family members do things in the
evening. That's a scenario that happens around here pretty regularly.
Do those things because they are enjoyable in and of themselves.
Don't spoil the fun by keeping an eye on the clock and worrying if
she'll get enough rest. Consider a slightly different scenario: have
a late lunch, go on an early evening walk and snack while playing
games as late as y'all want. Maybe not exactly that, but do you see
what I'm getting at? Rather than making plans around when you Want
her to sleep, look at the ups and downs in both y'alls energy and
plan around that.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
wrote:
>> Suggestions for how to approach this with her?The trouble is, you're trying to get her to change her behavior -
that's going to generate some resistance, no matter how kind, sweet
or sensible you are. Shift your agenda to helping things be more
pleasant for her when she's tired. Use the energy you have early in
the day (maybe before she's awake, even) to set things up for later -
easy snacks, drinks in individual containers, that sort of thing.
During the day, look for ways to help her rest when she's tired. Its
probably better at this point to look for that during the day, so she
doesn't get the idea that you're trying to get her to sleep. People
have natural ups and downs during the day - part of what's going on
with your dd right now is she's learning about what that feels like
and how to deal with it. What do adults do when they run out of steam
at 2 o'clock in the afternoon? Snacks help. Finding lower energy
things to do helps, too.
>But after about 7pm sheassistance
> doesn't want to do anything without someone providing physical
> (getting a water cup, putting on pajamas, going to the bathroom,playing
> games, etc).Setting yourself up to do things easily Beforehand will help. Does
she need to put on pajamas? We don't distinguish between pjs and
street clothes in our house. Consider suggesting she change clothes
when she gets up in the morning, instead. Or right before dinner.
Sometime when you have the energy to help her.
> Also, she is waking up late enough that our options fora field
> activities each day are diminishing and we had to cancel plans for
> trip that all of us were really looking forward to.For now, plan around her sleeping late. Maybe part of the family can
do things in the morning while other family members do things in the
evening. That's a scenario that happens around here pretty regularly.
> I was thinking a nice long walk on our local railin pjs.
> trail, and early dinner, and games (her fav activity) in her room
Do those things because they are enjoyable in and of themselves.
Don't spoil the fun by keeping an eye on the clock and worrying if
she'll get enough rest. Consider a slightly different scenario: have
a late lunch, go on an early evening walk and snack while playing
games as late as y'all want. Maybe not exactly that, but do you see
what I'm getting at? Rather than making plans around when you Want
her to sleep, look at the ups and downs in both y'alls energy and
plan around that.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jan 24, 2009, at 5:33 AM, Zoa Conner wrote:
The solution for us was to turn down the lights and ALL of us settle
down together to quietly watch a video that my daughter had watched a
lot of times before. I'd sit on the couch and she'd snuggle up with me
with a blanket over us. Sometimes she'd be asleep in 5 minutes and
we'd switch to a different movie or turn it off and do other things.
Once she was asleep, we'd let her sleep right there on the couch until
we went to bed.
-pam
> The problem though is that she is very tired beginning aroundYes - been there done that <G>.
> 7 pm and is frequently easily agitated and frustrated during her
> awake time.
> These are not behaviors that she has exhibited daily in her life so
> far. My
> gut feeling is that this sleep/wake pattern is not working well for
> her. But
> she so does not want to miss out on life after she goes to sleep
> that she
> resists strongly the idea of going to bed earlier.
The solution for us was to turn down the lights and ALL of us settle
down together to quietly watch a video that my daughter had watched a
lot of times before. I'd sit on the couch and she'd snuggle up with me
with a blanket over us. Sometimes she'd be asleep in 5 minutes and
we'd switch to a different movie or turn it off and do other things.
Once she was asleep, we'd let her sleep right there on the couch until
we went to bed.
-pam