New to the idea, what if HUBBY does not support?
luvsandlife
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a few
weeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical child
starts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.
Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching my
children and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husband
is very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,
social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may not
have what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn to
thrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would be
GREAT!!
weeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical child
starts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.
Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching my
children and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husband
is very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,
social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may not
have what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn to
thrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would be
GREAT!!
Heather & Markus Schleidt
My husband was initially against unschooling, although he agreed to give me the freedom the first few years of homeschooling to try what I felt was the best for our family. Now he loves unschooling. We are not a radically unschooling family from the standpoint of every aspect, but I am trying to learn from the different posts how to treat my children with more respect and give them more trust in their lives. I have learned so much just reading the posts.
It sounds as if your husband is not supportive of homeschooling in general. I don't have nearly as much experience as most of the people in this group, but I would certainly ask my husband if you could go out to dinner or somewhere (away from the kids where it would be quiet enough to have an uninterrupted conversation) and talk to him about at least trying it the next "school" year. If your oldest is only 4, then you have some time to try things, analyze the process, give him feedback and really show him how this might work well for your family. Especially with a new baby - think of the things your children could learn just from focusing on the new baby and helping around the house.
In addition, ask him to define for you what a true "education" means for him. Some people believe that a "schooled" education is the most important thing and they can't think outside of the box. We have always done it this way, so my children will do it this way, too. Maybe his fears are coming from what he thinks his family/relatives will say and feel. Does he have worries about your child getting into college? Let him discuss his fears or objections with you in the right setting and LISTEN. Don't get defensive and try and plead your case all at once. Take a more gentle, subtle approach and just start "homeschooling" without really calling it that, if need be and talk him through some of the things you all have been doing. I'm not advocating for school at home - I am talking about the unschooling approach. Find out what interests your 4 yo and follow his/her passions and let him/her include dad as much as possible. Don't be fake about it, but be sure to accent the positives.
My husband's family LOVED the idea of homeschooling (they are from Germany where it is illegal and I thought I would get a lot of resistance), but once they came and stayed for 6 weeks this past fall and saw that we unschooled, they changed their tune. They thought I was teaching "class" for 4 hours a day and give my children a schooled-type education. I have had to develop a backbone about these issues. Your husband might have similar issues.
Good luck, hope any of this helped.
Heather
To: [email protected]: luvsandlife@...: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:36:19 +0000Subject: [unschoolingbasics] New to the idea, what if HUBBY does not support?
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a fewweeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical childstarts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching mychildren and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husbandis very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may nothave what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn tothrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would beGREAT!!
_________________________________________________________________
Windows Live�: Keep your life in sync.
http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t1_allup_explore_012009
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It sounds as if your husband is not supportive of homeschooling in general. I don't have nearly as much experience as most of the people in this group, but I would certainly ask my husband if you could go out to dinner or somewhere (away from the kids where it would be quiet enough to have an uninterrupted conversation) and talk to him about at least trying it the next "school" year. If your oldest is only 4, then you have some time to try things, analyze the process, give him feedback and really show him how this might work well for your family. Especially with a new baby - think of the things your children could learn just from focusing on the new baby and helping around the house.
In addition, ask him to define for you what a true "education" means for him. Some people believe that a "schooled" education is the most important thing and they can't think outside of the box. We have always done it this way, so my children will do it this way, too. Maybe his fears are coming from what he thinks his family/relatives will say and feel. Does he have worries about your child getting into college? Let him discuss his fears or objections with you in the right setting and LISTEN. Don't get defensive and try and plead your case all at once. Take a more gentle, subtle approach and just start "homeschooling" without really calling it that, if need be and talk him through some of the things you all have been doing. I'm not advocating for school at home - I am talking about the unschooling approach. Find out what interests your 4 yo and follow his/her passions and let him/her include dad as much as possible. Don't be fake about it, but be sure to accent the positives.
My husband's family LOVED the idea of homeschooling (they are from Germany where it is illegal and I thought I would get a lot of resistance), but once they came and stayed for 6 weeks this past fall and saw that we unschooled, they changed their tune. They thought I was teaching "class" for 4 hours a day and give my children a schooled-type education. I have had to develop a backbone about these issues. Your husband might have similar issues.
Good luck, hope any of this helped.
Heather
To: [email protected]: luvsandlife@...: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:36:19 +0000Subject: [unschoolingbasics] New to the idea, what if HUBBY does not support?
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a fewweeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical childstarts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching mychildren and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husbandis very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may nothave what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn tothrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would beGREAT!!
_________________________________________________________________
Windows Live�: Keep your life in sync.
http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t1_allup_explore_012009
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Gray
Well, my suggestion would be to point out that they've done pretty
good so far, they can walk and speak English, which is pretty
remarkable when considered I took German for three years and can't
speak it as well as your children do English ;-)
Could you emphasize to your dh that unschooling now does not mean
unschooling forever. For some weird reason that helps a lot of people
to deal with it 'for now'. Telling my parents that we were going to
unschool until it doesn't work, got them off my back completely. just
because that will probably be until the kids are out of the
house...they don't think of it that way.
I'm sure you'll get more advice, but I would ask why a lot. Why do
they need social time within school (where they are supposed to be
learning, not socializing) when they socialize now just fine. HE
probably socializes just fine without school (does he think of
that?). Why do they need tests? Why do they need to be taught to be
adults, when so many people screw it up after being in school for 13
years?
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
good so far, they can walk and speak English, which is pretty
remarkable when considered I took German for three years and can't
speak it as well as your children do English ;-)
Could you emphasize to your dh that unschooling now does not mean
unschooling forever. For some weird reason that helps a lot of people
to deal with it 'for now'. Telling my parents that we were going to
unschool until it doesn't work, got them off my back completely. just
because that will probably be until the kids are out of the
house...they don't think of it that way.
I'm sure you'll get more advice, but I would ask why a lot. Why do
they need social time within school (where they are supposed to be
learning, not socializing) when they socialize now just fine. HE
probably socializes just fine without school (does he think of
that?). Why do they need tests? Why do they need to be taught to be
adults, when so many people screw it up after being in school for 13
years?
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
On Jan 19, 2009, at 1:36 PM, luvsandlife wrote:
> I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a few
> weeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical child
> starts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.
> Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching my
> children and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husband
> is very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,
> social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may not
> have what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn to
> thrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would be
> GREAT!!
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heather & Markus Schleidt
My husband was initially against unschooling, although he agreed to give me the freedom the first few years of homeschooling to try what I felt was the best for our family. Now he loves unschooling. We are not a radically unschooling family from the standpoint of every aspect, but I am trying to learn from the different posts how to treat my children with more respect and give them more trust in their lives. I have learned so much just reading the posts.
It sounds as if your husband is not supportive of homeschooling in general. I don't have nearly as much experience as most of the people in this group, but I would certainly ask my husband if you could go out to dinner or somewhere (away from the kids where it would be quiet enough to have an uninterrupted conversation) and talk to him about at least trying it the next "school" year. If your oldest is only 4, then you have some time to try things, analyze the process, give him feedback and really show him how this might work well for your family. Especially with a new baby - think of the things your children could learn just from focusing on the new baby and helping around the house.
In addition, ask him to define for you what a true "education" means for him. Some people believe that a "schooled" education is the most important thing and they can't think outside of the box. We have always done it this way, so my children will do it this way, too. Maybe his fears are coming from what he thinks his family/relatives will say and feel. Does he have worries about your child getting into college? Let him discuss his fears or objections with you in the right setting and LISTEN. Don't get defensive and try and plead your case all at once. Take a more gentle, subtle approach and just start "homeschooling" without really calling it that, if need be and talk him through some of the things you all have been doing. I'm not advocating for school at home - I am talking about the unschooling approach. Find out what interests your 4 yo and follow his/her passions and let him/her include dad as much as possible. Don't be fake about it, but be sure to accent the positives.
My husband's family LOVED the idea of homeschooling (they are from Germany where it is illegal and I thought I would get a lot of resistance), but once they came and stayed for 6 weeks this past fall and saw that we unschooled, they changed their tune. They thought I was teaching "class" for 4 hours a day and give my children a schooled-type education. I have had to develop a backbone about these issues. Your husband might have similar issues.
Good luck, hope any of this helped.
Heather
To: [email protected]: luvsandlife@...: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:36:19 +0000Subject: [unschoolingbasics] New to the idea, what if HUBBY does not support?
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a fewweeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical childstarts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching mychildren and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husbandis very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may nothave what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn tothrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would beGREAT!!
_________________________________________________________________
Windows Live�: Keep your life in sync.
http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t1_allup_explore_012009
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It sounds as if your husband is not supportive of homeschooling in general. I don't have nearly as much experience as most of the people in this group, but I would certainly ask my husband if you could go out to dinner or somewhere (away from the kids where it would be quiet enough to have an uninterrupted conversation) and talk to him about at least trying it the next "school" year. If your oldest is only 4, then you have some time to try things, analyze the process, give him feedback and really show him how this might work well for your family. Especially with a new baby - think of the things your children could learn just from focusing on the new baby and helping around the house.
In addition, ask him to define for you what a true "education" means for him. Some people believe that a "schooled" education is the most important thing and they can't think outside of the box. We have always done it this way, so my children will do it this way, too. Maybe his fears are coming from what he thinks his family/relatives will say and feel. Does he have worries about your child getting into college? Let him discuss his fears or objections with you in the right setting and LISTEN. Don't get defensive and try and plead your case all at once. Take a more gentle, subtle approach and just start "homeschooling" without really calling it that, if need be and talk him through some of the things you all have been doing. I'm not advocating for school at home - I am talking about the unschooling approach. Find out what interests your 4 yo and follow his/her passions and let him/her include dad as much as possible. Don't be fake about it, but be sure to accent the positives.
My husband's family LOVED the idea of homeschooling (they are from Germany where it is illegal and I thought I would get a lot of resistance), but once they came and stayed for 6 weeks this past fall and saw that we unschooled, they changed their tune. They thought I was teaching "class" for 4 hours a day and give my children a schooled-type education. I have had to develop a backbone about these issues. Your husband might have similar issues.
Good luck, hope any of this helped.
Heather
To: [email protected]: luvsandlife@...: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:36:19 +0000Subject: [unschoolingbasics] New to the idea, what if HUBBY does not support?
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a fewweeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical childstarts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching mychildren and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husbandis very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may nothave what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn tothrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would beGREAT!!
_________________________________________________________________
Windows Live�: Keep your life in sync.
http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t1_allup_explore_012009
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Lovejoy
Hands down, my favorite response is "Why?"
WHY do children need school?
WHY do they need social time? (Be sure to point out the difference between sitting quietly in a *classroom* all day versus being out in the world---at stores, banks, restaurants, libraries, museums, visiting neighbors, etc. There's little to NO real social time in school.)
WHY do they need tests?
WHY don't you have "what it takes"?
Having the answers *yourself* to WHY they DON'T need these things would be even more impressive! <g> Being able to express your thoughts to these same questions in a logical and concise way could go a long way to 1) clarify in your own mind why you think it's best and 2) give your husband the confidence IN you to agree to agree.
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: luvsandlife <luvsandlife@...>
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a few
weeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical child
starts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.
Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching my
children and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husband
is very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,
social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may not
have what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn to
thrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would be
GREAT!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WHY do children need school?
WHY do they need social time? (Be sure to point out the difference between sitting quietly in a *classroom* all day versus being out in the world---at stores, banks, restaurants, libraries, museums, visiting neighbors, etc. There's little to NO real social time in school.)
WHY do they need tests?
WHY don't you have "what it takes"?
Having the answers *yourself* to WHY they DON'T need these things would be even more impressive! <g> Being able to express your thoughts to these same questions in a logical and concise way could go a long way to 1) clarify in your own mind why you think it's best and 2) give your husband the confidence IN you to agree to agree.
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: luvsandlife <luvsandlife@...>
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a few
weeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical child
starts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.
Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching my
children and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husband
is very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,
social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may not
have what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn to
thrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would be
GREAT!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Lovejoy
Hands down, my favorite response is "Why?"
WHY do children need school?
WHY do they need social time? (Be sure to point out the difference between sitting quietly in a *classroom* all day versus being out in the world---at stores, banks, restaurants, libraries, museums, visiting neighbors, etc. There's little to NO real social time in school.)
WHY do they need tests?
WHY don't you have "what it takes"?
Having the answers *yourself* to WHY they DON'T need these things would be even more impressive! <g> Being able to express your thoughts to these same questions in a logical and concise way could go a long way to 1) clarify in your own mind why you think it's best and 2) give your husband the confidence IN you to agree to agree.
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: luvsandlife <luvsandlife@...>
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a few
weeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical child
starts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.
Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching my
children and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husband
is very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,
social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may not
have what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn to
thrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would be
GREAT!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WHY do children need school?
WHY do they need social time? (Be sure to point out the difference between sitting quietly in a *classroom* all day versus being out in the world---at stores, banks, restaurants, libraries, museums, visiting neighbors, etc. There's little to NO real social time in school.)
WHY do they need tests?
WHY don't you have "what it takes"?
Having the answers *yourself* to WHY they DON'T need these things would be even more impressive! <g> Being able to express your thoughts to these same questions in a logical and concise way could go a long way to 1) clarify in your own mind why you think it's best and 2) give your husband the confidence IN you to agree to agree.
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: luvsandlife <luvsandlife@...>
I have an almost 4 year old, a 11/2 year old and baby due in a few
weeks. As we get closer and closer to the age that a typical child
starts school, I am more and more interested in other alternatives.
Unschooling seems to be the way I am already living and teaching my
children and I would love to continue this way. One problem, husband
is very unsupportive of the idea. He says our kids need school,
social time, tests and in nicer wording he pretty much says I may not
have what it takes to teach our children what they need to learn to
thrive in adulthood. Any suggestions, ideas, experiences would be
GREAT!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]