teen and only child
Kelly Lovejoy
I received this in my moderator's box.
******************************************
Hi everyone. We're an unschooling family in Indiana with one child left at
home - boy (14). There are five others, but they're grown and out on their
own. I'm curious about unschooling a teen and (effectively) an only child.
Both my husband and I work (opposite shifts) and our son is very gregarious
and outgoing. He's totally into World of Warcraft and Xbox360, not so much
into much else these days. We've been trying out the AP parenting style,
and have seen great improvements in his (and our) relationships with each
other since last January.
Are there any other families with similar situations out there?
Debbie Resnick
Pandora Knits - My Blog
PandoraKnits on Ravelry.com
**********************************************************
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
http://www.SchoolsOutSupport.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
******************************************
Hi everyone. We're an unschooling family in Indiana with one child left at
home - boy (14). There are five others, but they're grown and out on their
own. I'm curious about unschooling a teen and (effectively) an only child.
Both my husband and I work (opposite shifts) and our son is very gregarious
and outgoing. He's totally into World of Warcraft and Xbox360, not so much
into much else these days. We've been trying out the AP parenting style,
and have seen great improvements in his (and our) relationships with each
other since last January.
Are there any other families with similar situations out there?
Debbie Resnick
Pandora Knits - My Blog
PandoraKnits on Ravelry.com
**********************************************************
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
http://www.SchoolsOutSupport.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deborah Resnick
I said AP parenting, but I meant consent based parenting.lol!
Debbie Resnick
<http://www.resnickfamily.com/> The Resnick Family - Our website
<http://www.pandoraknits.com/> Pandora Knits - My Blog
<http://www.ravelry.com/people/pandoraknits> PandoraKnits on Ravelry.com
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Kelly Lovejoy
Sent: Sunday, December 28, 2008 5:27 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] teen and only child
I received this in my moderator's box.
******************************************
Hi everyone. We're an unschooling family in Indiana with one child left at
home - boy (14). There are five others, but they're grown and out on their
own. I'm curious about unschooling a teen and (effectively) an only child.
Both my husband and I work (opposite shifts) and our son is very gregarious
and outgoing. He's totally into World of Warcraft and Xbox360, not so much
into much else these days. We've been trying out the AP parenting style,
and have seen great improvements in his (and our) relationships with each
other since last January.
Are there any other families with similar situations out there?
Debbie Resnick
Pandora Knits - My Blog
PandoraKnits on Ravelry.com
**********************************************************
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
http://www.SchoolsOutSupport.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Debbie Resnick
<http://www.resnickfamily.com/> The Resnick Family - Our website
<http://www.pandoraknits.com/> Pandora Knits - My Blog
<http://www.ravelry.com/people/pandoraknits> PandoraKnits on Ravelry.com
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Kelly Lovejoy
Sent: Sunday, December 28, 2008 5:27 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] teen and only child
I received this in my moderator's box.
******************************************
Hi everyone. We're an unschooling family in Indiana with one child left at
home - boy (14). There are five others, but they're grown and out on their
own. I'm curious about unschooling a teen and (effectively) an only child.
Both my husband and I work (opposite shifts) and our son is very gregarious
and outgoing. He's totally into World of Warcraft and Xbox360, not so much
into much else these days. We've been trying out the AP parenting style,
and have seen great improvements in his (and our) relationships with each
other since last January.
Are there any other families with similar situations out there?
Debbie Resnick
Pandora Knits - My Blog
PandoraKnits on Ravelry.com
**********************************************************
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
http://www.SchoolsOutSupport.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Lovejoy
With two eight years apart, I essentially have two "onlies." One's almost 13, and the other is almost 21 and probably moving out soon. The 12 year old is very much into WoW and his Xbox.
What's your question?
Have you considered attending an unschooling conference? There's the Waterpark Gathering in February in Ohio. It would be great if he could meet other unschoolers.
Are you familiar with the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW? I think someone has created (or is working on one) an Alliance of Unschoolers too.
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
Hi everyone. We're an unschooling family in Indiana with one child left at
home - boy (14). There are five others, but they're grown and out on their
own. I'm curious about unschooling a teen and (effectively) an only child.
Both my husband and I work (opposite shifts) and our son is very gregarious
and outgoing. He's totally into World of Warcraft and Xbox360, not so much
into much else these days. We've been trying out the AP parenting style,
and have seen great improvements in his (and our) relationships with each
other since last January.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What's your question?
Have you considered attending an unschooling conference? There's the Waterpark Gathering in February in Ohio. It would be great if he could meet other unschoolers.
Are you familiar with the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW? I think someone has created (or is working on one) an Alliance of Unschoolers too.
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
Hi everyone. We're an unschooling family in Indiana with one child left at
home - boy (14). There are five others, but they're grown and out on their
own. I'm curious about unschooling a teen and (effectively) an only child.
Both my husband and I work (opposite shifts) and our son is very gregarious
and outgoing. He's totally into World of Warcraft and Xbox360, not so much
into much else these days. We've been trying out the AP parenting style,
and have seen great improvements in his (and our) relationships with each
other since last January.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deborah Resnick
My questions are many, and complicated. But also very simple…lol. I just find myself having moments of “traditional education anxiety” or TEA, as I like to call it. I worry that he’s “only” playing video games all day and not _______________ enough (fill in the blank with any “educational” activity). I worry that he’s alone too much, even though he has lots of contact with people online and through Xbox live. He goes to a game day with a local homeschool group, and has a friend that he hangs out with. I guess I just worry. Probably too much.
We went to the waterpark gathering last year and the campout last fall. We had a great time. We aren’t going to get to go to the waterpark gathering this year due to economics. I just heard of the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW, and I’m going to point him in that direction.
I guess I’m just looking for reassurance and validation on my choice of paths.
Debbie Resnick
<http://www.resnickfamily.com/> The Resnick Family - Our website
<http://www.pandoraknits.com/> Pandora Knits - My Blog
<http://www.ravelry.com/people/pandoraknits> PandoraKnits on Ravelry.com
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Kelly Lovejoy
Sent: Monday, December 29, 2008 2:23 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] teen and only child
With two eight years apart, I essentially have two "onlies." One's almost 13, and the other is almost 21 and probably moving out soon. The 12 year old is very much into WoW and his Xbox.
What's your question?
Have you considered attending an unschooling conference? There's the Waterpark Gathering in February in Ohio. It would be great if he could meet other unschoolers.
Are you familiar with the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW? I think someone has created (or is working on one) an Alliance of Unschoolers too.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We went to the waterpark gathering last year and the campout last fall. We had a great time. We aren’t going to get to go to the waterpark gathering this year due to economics. I just heard of the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW, and I’m going to point him in that direction.
I guess I’m just looking for reassurance and validation on my choice of paths.
Debbie Resnick
<http://www.resnickfamily.com/> The Resnick Family - Our website
<http://www.pandoraknits.com/> Pandora Knits - My Blog
<http://www.ravelry.com/people/pandoraknits> PandoraKnits on Ravelry.com
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Kelly Lovejoy
Sent: Monday, December 29, 2008 2:23 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] teen and only child
With two eight years apart, I essentially have two "onlies." One's almost 13, and the other is almost 21 and probably moving out soon. The 12 year old is very much into WoW and his Xbox.
What's your question?
Have you considered attending an unschooling conference? There's the Waterpark Gathering in February in Ohio. It would be great if he could meet other unschoolers.
Are you familiar with the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW? I think someone has created (or is working on one) an Alliance of Unschoolers too.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Heather
My son is 13. He has a 10 yr old sister.
My son, like yours, plays a lot of video games - mostly xbox, but also wii &
sometimes on the computer.
He has lots of friends he plays with online, most
of whom he "met" through the unschooling gamers list. He has a couple
friends irl he gets together with now & again.
He takes guitar lessons once a week.
He's happy.
Nothing to worry about!
heather
On Mon, Dec 29, 2008 at 12:52 PM, Deborah Resnick <
deborah.resnick@...> wrote:
My son, like yours, plays a lot of video games - mostly xbox, but also wii &
sometimes on the computer.
He has lots of friends he plays with online, most
of whom he "met" through the unschooling gamers list. He has a couple
friends irl he gets together with now & again.
He takes guitar lessons once a week.
He's happy.
Nothing to worry about!
heather
On Mon, Dec 29, 2008 at 12:52 PM, Deborah Resnick <
deborah.resnick@...> wrote:
> My questions are many, and complicated. But also very simple�lol. I just[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> find myself having moments of "traditional education anxiety" or TEA, as I
> like to call it. I worry that he's "only" playing video games all day and
> not _______________ enough (fill in the blank with any "educational"
> activity). I worry that he's alone too much, even though he has lots of
> contact with people online and through Xbox live. He goes to a game day with
> a local homeschool group, and has a friend that he hangs out with. I guess I
> just worry. Probably too much.
>
Meredith
Like Kelly, I have two "onlies" - currently 7 and 15. Ray (15) likes
to play some video games and online games (although he hasn't gotten
into WOW yet due to a slow connection). He's met a bunch of people
through playing Runescape, though. He also spends a lot of time
connecting with friends through Myspace and Facebook.
"I worry that heâs âonlyâ playing video games all day and not
_______________ enough (fill in the blank with any âeducationalâ
activity). "
I don't have these moments any more, but Ray's bio mom does and this
year we've had to do a good bit of reassuring. Personally, I find it
helpful to think about what Ray's been learning about over a period
of several months, rather than day to day or even week by week. Its
much easier to say (for example) "oh, wow, he's really learned a lot
of analytical thinking recently" and then think about his various
games and activities to see where he might have learned that.
"I worry that heâs alone too much,"
Even though he's a social guy (Ray is, too, btw) its good to keep in
mind that teens often need a lot of time by themselves. They are
launching out into new territory, starting to wonder more about what
and how they think, to ask big questions of themselves about Life,
the Universe, and Everything.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
to play some video games and online games (although he hasn't gotten
into WOW yet due to a slow connection). He's met a bunch of people
through playing Runescape, though. He also spends a lot of time
connecting with friends through Myspace and Facebook.
"I worry that heâs âonlyâ playing video games all day and not
_______________ enough (fill in the blank with any âeducationalâ
activity). "
I don't have these moments any more, but Ray's bio mom does and this
year we've had to do a good bit of reassuring. Personally, I find it
helpful to think about what Ray's been learning about over a period
of several months, rather than day to day or even week by week. Its
much easier to say (for example) "oh, wow, he's really learned a lot
of analytical thinking recently" and then think about his various
games and activities to see where he might have learned that.
"I worry that heâs alone too much,"
Even though he's a social guy (Ray is, too, btw) its good to keep in
mind that teens often need a lot of time by themselves. They are
launching out into new territory, starting to wonder more about what
and how they think, to ask big questions of themselves about Life,
the Universe, and Everything.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
Kelly Lovejoy
I feel the need to point this out.
It's not that I don't understand the need for validation and reassurance. I am, of course, a product of school too. <G>
But I think it's really important to step back and look at your own individual situation with clear eyes.
No one here can know your situation---just as you can't know ours. But often our view gets clouded by outside influences. Society's and the media's stance on education is VERY influential!
But if you step back, take a deep breath, and look at your own child, you can---if you look really hard---see how he's *really* doing.
He's happy. He's engaged. He's willing to explore new things (maybe not things you (or society) want him to explore! but new things nonetheless). He has friends. He's intelligent. He's funny. He's tenacious.
I think worry comes with being a parent, but it can REALLY get in the way if we let it.
*Talk* with him. Ask him how he likes his life. Ask what you could do to make it better. THAT's where you'll get your validation. THAT's where you'll find your reassurance. Maybe bring home a new game---something the whole family can play. Bananagrams is our new favorite!
I could validate and reassure you until the cows come home. It would mean nothing to you. <G>
But I can look into my sons' eyes and get all the validation and reassurance *I* need!
I'm sorry we won't meet you at the waterpark gathering. Duncan and I are looking20forward to it---and just last night Cameron even mentioned he may join us!
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: Deborah Resnick <deborah.resnick@...>
My questions are many, and complicated. But also very simple…lol. I just find
myself having moments of “traditional education anxiety” or TEA, as I like to
call it. I worry that he’s “only” playing video games all day and not
_______________ enough (fill in the blank with any “educational” activity). I
worry that he’s alone too much, even though he has lots of contact with people
online and through Xbox live. He goes to a game day with a local homeschool
group, and has a friend that he hangs out with. I guess I just worry. Probably
too much.
We went to the waterpark gathering last year and the campout last fall. We had
a great time. We aren’t going to get to go to the waterpark gathering this year
due to economics. I just heard of the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW, and I’m
going to point him in that direction.
I guess I’m just looking for reassurance and validation on my choice of paths.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It's not that I don't understand the need for validation and reassurance. I am, of course, a product of school too. <G>
But I think it's really important to step back and look at your own individual situation with clear eyes.
No one here can know your situation---just as you can't know ours. But often our view gets clouded by outside influences. Society's and the media's stance on education is VERY influential!
But if you step back, take a deep breath, and look at your own child, you can---if you look really hard---see how he's *really* doing.
He's happy. He's engaged. He's willing to explore new things (maybe not things you (or society) want him to explore! but new things nonetheless). He has friends. He's intelligent. He's funny. He's tenacious.
I think worry comes with being a parent, but it can REALLY get in the way if we let it.
*Talk* with him. Ask him how he likes his life. Ask what you could do to make it better. THAT's where you'll get your validation. THAT's where you'll find your reassurance. Maybe bring home a new game---something the whole family can play. Bananagrams is our new favorite!
I could validate and reassure you until the cows come home. It would mean nothing to you. <G>
But I can look into my sons' eyes and get all the validation and reassurance *I* need!
I'm sorry we won't meet you at the waterpark gathering. Duncan and I are looking20forward to it---and just last night Cameron even mentioned he may join us!
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: Deborah Resnick <deborah.resnick@...>
My questions are many, and complicated. But also very simple…lol. I just find
myself having moments of “traditional education anxiety” or TEA, as I like to
call it. I worry that he’s “only” playing video games all day and not
_______________ enough (fill in the blank with any “educational” activity). I
worry that he’s alone too much, even though he has lots of contact with people
online and through Xbox live. He goes to a game day with a local homeschool
group, and has a friend that he hangs out with. I guess I just worry. Probably
too much.
We went to the waterpark gathering last year and the campout last fall. We had
a great time. We aren’t going to get to go to the waterpark gathering this year
due to economics. I just heard of the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW, and I’m
going to point him in that direction.
I guess I’m just looking for reassurance and validation on my choice of paths.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Professional Parenting
How do you access the Hord of Unschoolers on WOW? Or will my kids know? :-)
Judy Arnall, Peaceful Parenting, Family and Relationship Expert, Speaker (Professional Member of CAPS) and Author of "Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery" www.professionalparenting.ca Tele: (403) 714-6766 Email jarnall@... "Peace In The World Begins In The Home"
Judy Arnall, Peaceful Parenting, Family and Relationship Expert, Speaker (Professional Member of CAPS) and Author of "Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery" www.professionalparenting.ca Tele: (403) 714-6766 Email jarnall@... "Peace In The World Begins In The Home"
----- Original Message -----
From: Kelly Lovejoy
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2008 8:25 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] teen and only child
I feel the need to point this out.
It's not that I don't understand the need for validation and reassurance. I am, of course, a product of school too. <G>
But I think it's really important to step back and look at your own individual situation with clear eyes.
No one here can know your situation---just as you can't know ours. But often our view gets clouded by outside influences. Society's and the media's stance on education is VERY influential!
But if you step back, take a deep breath, and look at your own child, you can---if you look really hard---see how he's *really* doing.
He's happy. He's engaged. He's willing to explore new things (maybe not things you (or society) want him to explore! but new things nonetheless). He has friends. He's intelligent. He's funny. He's tenacious.
I think worry comes with being a parent, but it can REALLY get in the way if we let it.
*Talk* with him. Ask him how he likes his life. Ask what you could do to make it better. THAT's where you'll get your validation. THAT's where you'll find your reassurance. Maybe bring home a new game---something the whole family can play. Bananagrams is our new favorite!
I could validate and reassure you until the cows come home. It would mean nothing to you. <G>
But I can look into my sons' eyes and get all the validation and reassurance *I* need!
I'm sorry we won't meet you at the waterpark gathering. Duncan and I are looking20forward to it---and just last night Cameron even mentioned he may join us!
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: Deborah Resnick <deborah.resnick@...>
My questions are many, and complicated. But also very simple…lol. I just find
myself having moments of “traditional education anxiety” or TEA, as I like to
call it. I worry that he’s “only” playing video games all day and not
_______________ enough (fill in the blank with any “educational” activity). I
worry that he’s alone too much, even though he has lots of contact with people
online and through Xbox live. He goes to a game day with a local homeschool
group, and has a friend that he hangs out with. I guess I just worry. Probably
too much.
We went to the waterpark gathering last year and the campout last fall. We had
a great time. We aren’t going to get to go to the waterpark gathering this year
due to economics. I just heard of the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW, and I’m
going to point him in that direction.
I guess I’m just looking for reassurance and validation on my choice of paths.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dan Lake
All you would need to know to find them is which "realm" they are playing
on. I found an article on wowinsider.com from last January but I didn't
notice where it said which realm the Horde of Alliance is playing on:
http://www.wowinsider.com/2008/01/15/15-minutes-of-fame-horde-of-unschoolers/
It looks like they are all pretty young players and not really into the end
game / high level stuff. If your kids are into raiding and end game bosses
and content, it may not be the right group of players, but a nice social
outlet.
Good luck,
~Dan
on. I found an article on wowinsider.com from last January but I didn't
notice where it said which realm the Horde of Alliance is playing on:
http://www.wowinsider.com/2008/01/15/15-minutes-of-fame-horde-of-unschoolers/
It looks like they are all pretty young players and not really into the end
game / high level stuff. If your kids are into raiding and end game bosses
and content, it may not be the right group of players, but a nice social
outlet.
Good luck,
~Dan
On Tue, Dec 30, 2008 at 9:05 AM, Professional Parenting <jarnall@...>wrote:
> How do you access the Hord of Unschoolers on WOW? Or will my kids know?
> :-)
>
> Judy Arnall, Peaceful Parenting, Family and Relationship Expert, Speaker
> (Professional Member of CAPS) and Author of "Discipline Without Distress:
> 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out,
> spanking, punishment or bribery" www.professionalparenting.ca Tele: (403)
> 714-6766 Email jarnall@... <jarnall%40shaw.ca> "Peace In The World
> Begins In The Home"
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Kelly Lovejoy
> To: [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2008 8:25 AM
> Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] teen and only child
>
> I feel the need to point this out.
>
> It's not that I don't understand the need for validation and reassurance. I
> am, of course, a product of school too. <G>
>
> But I think it's really important to step back and look at your own
> individual situation with clear eyes.
>
> No one here can know your situation---just as you can't know ours. But
> often our view gets clouded by outside influences. Society's and the media's
> stance on education is VERY influential!
>
> But if you step back, take a deep breath, and look at your own child, you
> can---if you look really hard---see how he's *really* doing.
>
> He's happy. He's engaged. He's willing to explore new things (maybe not
> things you (or society) want him to explore! but new things nonetheless). He
> has friends. He's intelligent. He's funny. He's tenacious.
>
> I think worry comes with being a parent, but it can REALLY get in the way
> if we let it.
>
> *Talk* with him. Ask him how he likes his life. Ask what you could do to
> make it better. THAT's where you'll get your validation. THAT's where you'll
> find your reassurance. Maybe bring home a new game---something the whole
> family can play. Bananagrams is our new favorite!
>
> I could validate and reassure you until the cows come home. It would mean
> nothing to you. <G>
>
> But I can look into my sons' eyes and get all the validation and
> reassurance *I* need!
>
> I'm sorry we won't meet you at the waterpark gathering. Duncan and I are
> looking20forward to it---and just last night Cameron even mentioned he may
> join us!
>
> ~Kelly
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Deborah Resnick <deborah.resnick@...<deborah.resnick%40comcast.net>
> >
>
> My questions are many, and complicated. But also very simple�lol. I just
> find
> myself having moments of "traditional education anxiety" or TEA, as I like
> to
> call it. I worry that he's "only" playing video games all day and not
> _______________ enough (fill in the blank with any "educational" activity).
> I
> worry that he's alone too much, even though he has lots of contact with
> people
> online and through Xbox live. He goes to a game day with a local homeschool
>
> group, and has a friend that he hangs out with. I guess I just worry.
> Probably
> too much.
>
> We went to the waterpark gathering last year and the campout last fall. We
> had
> a great time. We aren't going to get to go to the waterpark gathering this
> year
> due to economics. I just heard of the Horde of Unschoolers on WoW, and I'm
> going to point him in that direction.
>
> I guess I'm just looking for reassurance and validation on my choice of
> paths.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jill Parmer
Sorry, didn't see this one come through.
The Horde of Unschoolers is on The Venture Co. realm.
For an invite to the guild, whisper Aeolos, Bedwyr, Takulah, and tell
one of us who you are. You can also whisper Talukah, whom I've been
playing a lot and I can let someone know, or get on one of my
characters that can invite.
~Jill P (Takulah, Talukah)
The Horde of Unschoolers is on The Venture Co. realm.
For an invite to the guild, whisper Aeolos, Bedwyr, Takulah, and tell
one of us who you are. You can also whisper Talukah, whom I've been
playing a lot and I can let someone know, or get on one of my
characters that can invite.
~Jill P (Takulah, Talukah)
On Dec 30, 2008, at 10:05 AM, Professional Parenting wrote:
> How do you access the Hord of Unschoolers on WOW? Or will my kids
> know? :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]